1599: My Inner Life – Chapter 22

Title: My Inner Life
Author: Link’s Queen
Media: Video Game
Topic: Legend of Zelda
Genre: None
URL: Whole Story
Critiqued by Erttheking


Ert: Well, we’re getting close to the end. Sorta. Kinda. There’s only a couple of chapters left, but the one after this one is a massive doorstopper. So we’ll see how long it takes for us to get through it. Lot going on right now, so we only have time for one chapter this week. Onward and upward.

Life Resumes (Anniversary Night)
A year has passed since I discovered that I was a descended of the Silverlite race.

Ert: First sentence and I already hate this chapter. A year? A whole fucking year? Three-hundred and sixty-five and a quarter days have gone by? And not a single thing that happened in that time period was worth covering in detail? Seriously? FUCKING SERIOUSLY!?

Nora: On the one hand, it saves us the boredom of having to go through it. On the other hand, it’s really stupid and badly written.

I became appointed under the Goddesses to protect the Legendary Triforce along with the “Hero of Time”. And became one of the most powerful in all of Hyrule.

Ert: God. I hate it when people loosely use terms like “strong” and “powerful” in fiction. How are you powerful? Are you talking about political influence? Or your goddamn DBZ power level?

Though life resumed between Link and I. Our son was now a year and half old. He was now walking and has learned to speak certain words.

Goeth: LQ finally gets developmental milestones for babies down. Well, a broken clock is right twice a day and all that.

Epona gave birth to her colt just two weeks after the Water Temple incident and is now pregnant again.

Ert: Well this is weird. When we first talked about Epona being pregnant, it was said that she would give birth around the same time as Jenna. Despite that being bullshit. Then it turns out she took a lot longer to give birth, several months after Jenna. Even though that would still make her pregnancy half a year too short And the point of this is…there is no point.

Nora: I think it’s fair to say that LQ did not research animal husbandry when she was writing this story. And when did Epona get reduced to a brood mare?

The beautiful colt she gave birth to is female with a brown body, white mane and tail with a black mussel and black patches around her hooves. The youngling is now a year old.

Goeth: Is Jenna a Jedi? That just sounds like something that only a Jedi would say.

Ert: Jedi in the prequels too! Hold on, let me check something…yup, Phantom Menace was out when this story was written. There’s a very good chance that she took it from that movie.

Link has prospered in the military. He is now fleet general of the king’s entire army.

Nora: Uh, beg pardon? Fleet general? So does he command an army or does he command a navy? Because general implies the former, while fleet implies the latter. Also the name sounds made up and stupid. Because it is.

Link was promoted after he stopped an assassination attempt on the King’s life six months ago.

Ert: Yeah, no point in showing THAT! We’re the fucking Witcher 2! We can talk about main characters stopping assassinations on Kings without actually showing it! Except that that actually was depicted, just in the previous game.

Goeth: And then the King was assassinated anyway.

Lilly and Navi have been keeping us protected. Over the last year they had helped keep our livestock safe from the wolfos that sill roamed the Lost Woods.

Nora: Us, our livestock, poTAto poTAHto.

Our farm was prospering, the crops were producing fine vegetables that year. And our fruit trees were producing unusual size fruit. And I’m now four months pregnant.

Ert:  Something feels off about that tree.  Just unusual sized fruit?  The hell is that supposed to mean?

Goeth: …oh.


Goeth: Oh dear. I need to take care of this.

Our life together was nothing like ever before.

Ert: Except it really is. There’s just a lot more babies involved. Jenna’s powers don’t really change much.

The love Link and I share bonded even deeper over the last year. We had been married for almost two years now. Our second anniversary was in just a few days. I had been planning for days to have a very special anniversary this year. So I had gone to Cantara City to get Link a very special gift. I had saved my rupees for the entire year and I managed to get him a gold hilted dagger encrusted with jewels and a gold dragon pendant. I was going to make this year one to remember.

Nora: Begging your pardon, but what exactly are you doing to earn that kind of money? All you do is act as a mediocre farmer. Needless to say, farming does not exactly produce the kind of money that is needed to purchase gold anything, particularly gold that’s entrusted with precious stones.

Ert: And if this money is coming from her job as a guardian, why does she need to wait all year to get one thing? Shouldn’t she be making more?

Goeth: And why is she getting Link a dagger when he clearly doesn’t need one? And what is Cantara City?

Then the day had arrived. The day of our anniversary.

Ert: We figured.

Nora: We didn’t think it was the anniversary of the first time you boned.

I nearly had spent the entire day preparing for the most romantic evening ever.

Goeth: Highly doubting that it will be all that different from the previous evenings that you’ve spent together.

I had Zelda take Link jr., Aria and our fairies to stay with her and Impa at the castle for the night so Link and I could be alone.

Ert: That somewhat makes sense, seeing as how Impa was Zelda’s nanny and no doubt had experience with kids. However, Impa is also bodyguard to the princess, and kind of has more important things to do than play babysitter so that mommy and daddy can have more sex.

While I prepared dinner, I got into a sexy red dress and got all the “extras” we would need to have a memorial night.

Nora: Like a chastity belt! Because you two seriously need to stop for three seconds. I’m half certain that you’re both nymphomaniacs.

Ert: When you think about it, sex making the fetus stronger does sound like a half assed reason that was cooked up to have more sex.

Then I lit all the candles around the room and put out the oil lamps to create a romantic setting. After I finished preparing dinner, I lit the candles on the table, put the food out and waited for Link.

Ert: I feel like we’ve been here before. Wasn’t this the exact same set up for when Jenna was going to tell Link that she was pregnant?

Goeth: There was quite a bit similar with the set up. Apparently when LQ was dreaming about her life with Link, she included some repetition and mundanity. Something that is surprisingly accurate to real life.

Ert: Don’t remind me.

About ten minuets later, I heard a horse coming up to the stable. I removed my apron and rushed to the door to great my “hero” home. As Link entered the door his eyes widened.

Ert: What, nothing about his eyes being sapphires?

“Oh my Goddesses…you look sexy tonight my love.” He whispered into my ear as he pulled me into his arms kissing me forcefully. Then we drew apart and I looked into his sexy jeweled eyes.

Ert: Spoke too soon. Also fuck you.

Nora: And she looks sexy because of her clothing. See? The author even called it sexy! That’s all the description that you need! Either that or you could’ve established Jenna being sexy, but this is the first time I’ve seen that term brought up to describe Jenna in this story. Even then it was describing the dress more than her.

“I love you my sweet love, how I missed you today.” “And I as well.” Link said as he handed me a bouquet of roses, then he pulled me inside closing the door. When he scanned the room, he was in shock. “Wow my love…this all looks great.” Link said as his eyes sparkled under the candlelight. “

Nora: I can get him thinking that it’s nice, but I’m failing to see how it could possibly be considered something that would shock him. Aside from your dress, the only thing that you were established to have done is you lit a bunch of candles and made dinner. That’s it. It’s hardly something that would blow someone’s mind. Particularly if you’ve done it before.

“Happy anniversary my love.” I said as I handed him the gift. “Thank you sweet heart.” He returned as he put his gift down on the table. Then he went into the pouch he had at his belt and pulled out a gold box.

Ert: Uh, did he even look at it? I’m not certain that he did.

Goeth: I feel like that he would have placed it on his belt if he had. After all, he’s the *snerk* Fleet General of the Hyrule army, he never knows when he might need a gaudy knife.

“Happy anniversary too my goddess.” Link said softly as he handed the golden wrapped box to me. I took it and opened it to reveal a gold necklace with a gold Triforce pendant encrusted with diamonds and matching earrings. “Oh my Goddesses……I just love it! ” I cried as tears welled up in my eyes.

Nora: Lady, I get that you love him and really do appreciate it when he does nice things for you, but don’t you think you’re overreacting just a LITTLE bit!? Also, I feel like Jenna has been getting quite a bit of bling ever since this story started. Does she wear it all at once? Or does she just story it in a closet somewhere?

Ert: Maybe she uses Zelda’s choker as a paperweight.

Then Link took the necklace and put it on around my neck. “It looks beautiful on you. “Link said as he started kissing my slender neck. As he bit down gently on my neck, I turned my head to face him as I stroked the back of his neck.
“Mmmm….Link, you should go open your gift.

Ert: Oh, so he didn’t look at it. It was wrapped up. Something that wasn’t established at all. So now Link looks like an insensitive asshole, considering he was given a gift and then just promptly dumped it on a nearby table.

“I whispered softly into his pointed ear. Link moved his head down and started kissing my shoulder. “Your right my love, I’m going to open it now.” He walked back over to the table and took the box into his hand, then pulled the ribbon off and opened it. “Holy crap….oh my goddesses I love you!”

Nora: I mean before I just kinda tolerated you because the sex was good(?), but now that you’re giving me nice things, I’m totally in love with you!

He said as he held the gold dagger encrusted with jewels in his hands. Taking the dagger he swished it into the air a few time before putting it into the sheath I provided for him.

Nora: Accidentally taking his wife’s head off in the process.

Goeth: You do need to be careful with that.

Then I walked into his arms again and looked into his rippling blue eyes. “Did you see what else was in the box?”

Ert:….Fuck it.

I said softly as I put my hands against his muscular chest. “There’s more?” Link said with surprise. “Look under the tissue my love.” Rustling the tissue aside his eyes widened with shock as he held the gold dragon pendant in his broad hand. “You’re the greatest my dear wife.” Link said as he grabbed me and pulled me into his arms once again.

Ert: I don’t get this. Why hide the second gift? Sometimes parents do that to their kids (When my siblings and I got a Nintendo Wii for Christmas, my Dad sent us on a merry chase all over the house with a scavenger hunt he had set up to find it) but Link is a fully grown adult.

Goeth: Because dream.

Slowly he lowered his head down again, his breath tickled my skin as he gently nibbled on my neck causing ripples of pleasure to run down my spine. I reached up and ran my hand down his cheek as small moans of pleasure escaped passed my lips. Then I felt his lips move slowly up my neck, then to my mouth as he kissed me forcefully, his tongue slipping past my lips.

Ert: *Sigh* We’re doing THIS again?

Nora: Seems like it.

(Snu-Snu Counter: 7)

As out tongues entwined I felt his hands trickling up my sides as he started sliding down the straps of my dress. My body started quivering under his gentle touch as he slid the top of my dress down freeing my breasts. He took his hand and gently ran it over my breast, his fingers teasing the nipple, causing it to become erect, turning it into a small hard pebble. The sensation of his fingers caressing my sensitive nipples sent shocks of pleasure threw my body, causing louder moans to pass my lips.

Nora: Guys? You haven’t actually had dinner yet. Maybe you should eat it now before it goes cold? Also there’s a lot of candles that are lit and unattended around the house while you’re having your seventh sex session of the story. Maybe you should take care of that before you get around to this?

Goeth: Times like this make you wonder if this story was really personal porn.

Gently he pushed me into the living room, by the fire as he continued to pulled my dress slowly down my body, then letting it drop to the floor as his eyes hungrily drank in my nakedness.

Ert: So, once again, there’s an unattended fire going on this house. Seriously, how has this place not burned to the ground yet?

Nora: And apparently Jenna was going commando.

Then he laid me down, getting on top of me as his lips moved back to mine, his tongue entering my mouth again. I let my hands run up under his tunic, feeling my way to the top as I gently pulled it off and tossed it aside. Then Link begun to slowly kiss his way down my body, first to my neck, to crevice between my breasts, then stopping at the navel as he kissed and caressed it with his tongue. Link continued to assault my body with his lips and tongue, causing my body to shudder with feelings of pleasure and ecstasy as I reached up and slipped off his white undergarment, exposing the rest of his heavenly naked body. The candlelight reflected off his immaculate skin,

Ert: Ok, where do we even start with this? First of all, since when does human skin reflect anything? Last time we checked, we weren’t made out of mirrors. I admit I haven’t checked that in awhile, but I thought it was something I could go without confirming. Second of all, I’d like to know what position these two could be in that would allow Link to be kissing her all over, while also allowing Jenna to reach his underwear. Finally, how did he get down to his underwear when Jenna had only taken off his tunic beforehand? Are these two just going about their lives half naked?

as I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him down on top of me, forcing our lips to meet again. As we kissed deeply, passionately, our tongues intertwining once again, I had begun to feel his heart beating along side mine as the connection between us became full.

Nora: Oh look. Their vaguely defined connection is doing vague things again. What was the point of that again?

Goeth: Apparently so that Jenna could drink piss.

Then we drew apart and he slowly rose up, taking one hand and gently running it over my breasts again, his fingertips teasing the hard mounds as the other slid its way down my body, first to my thighs, then between my legs.

Nora: Uh, hard mounds? The only part of the breast that should be hard is the nipple. If the entire breast is hard, then I think you might have some kind of medical condition miss.

Goeth: *Holds up Geiger counter* Oh dear.

Then his hand pressed down into me as his fingers slid past the lips of my flower, causing my back to arc as a loud moan moved out my mouth and tore into the air. Then I cried out in ecstasy again as his fingers probed upward and brushed against my clitoris, causing it to fill with blood and become hard. It felt soo good. Felt soo intense.

(Like Totally Counter: 25)

My whole body convulsed, shuddered as he teased the clit by rolling the hard sensitive part between his fingers. Then my body suddenly convulsed when he slid his fingers further down and gently pushed two fingers deep inside me, the new sensation causing my back to arc again as my soft moans suddenly turned into loud tiger cries.

(Cat Counter: 9)

(Known Unknown Feelings Counter: 7)

Ert: I know we usually frown on thesaurus abuse around here, but to be perfectly frank I feel like this story has nowhere to go but up and should probably consider it.

Goeth: Anything to break up the monotony.

“Oh….my Goddesses….grrrr….Link..more baby…..LINK!”

Nora: You want another baby? For Christ’s sake, finish the one that you have first! And if you’re calling Link that, maybe you should’ve worked that in a little more. It comes off as rather unnatural, seeing as how you mainly refer to link as “my love.”

I screamed in pure ecstasy as his gentle steady made my legs quake.

Ert: His gentle steady? The fuck is a gentle steady!?

Nora: Apparently the informal noun form of steady is a regular boyfriend or girlfriend. Oh…wow. This sex scene took an unexpected turn. I had no idea Link was a voyeur.

Then he pushed his fingers in deeper, his thrusts reaching back to my G spot while his other hand teased the hard mounds on my breasts.

Goeth: Fuck bucks says that LQ didn’t actually know where the G spot was.
Then Link quickened his attacks as he sensed that my body was starting to be thrust over the edge.

Ert: Is he having sex with Jenna or is he trying to kill her?…Oh god I’m really regretting making a reference to Se7en now.

Nora: *Smacks Ert in the back of the head*

Ert: I deserved that.

This combination of attacks Link was placing upon my shuddering, pulsating body caused my back arc and twisted, while my cries of ecstasy tore into the air.

Goeth: Her spine seems to be made out of silly putty.

Slowly I started to climax and when he rubbed his fingers against the most sensitive spot inside me,

Ert: Wait, is this the G spot again? Or is it another incredibly sensitive spot on female genitalia?

Nora: Ert, don’t ask for anatomy lessons from bad fanfiction. You’ve got Goeth for that. And he’s give you a first hand demonstration on how…don’t ask Goeth either.

Goeth: Spoil sport!

I screamed out as my body was finally thrust over the edge and into heaven …..”UNGH…OH MY GODDESSES…..LINK!” I cried as I gushed down Link’s hand, the warm juices dripping threw his fingers.

Nora: Over the next couple of weeks, heaven would file a restraining order against these two, as well as breaking and entering charges.

Falling back panting I looked into his sexy blue eyes as I saw a burning desire glowing in them. Then I got up and put my lips near his, whispering softly to him against them. “Now my love, it my turn.”

Nora: Your turn? You already came! Jesus Jenna, you’re selfish.

Ert: We know what she’s talking about, but her wording does sound rather…off.

I said seductively as I reached up and clasped my hands on his broad shoulders and gently pushed him onto the floor. After I pushed him down on the floor, I straddled him, laying my hands against his chest as I begun to slowly trickle my fingers-tips over his hard muscular body. His body quivered under my touch as soft moans rose up from his throat and out his mouth.

Ert: Part of me is starting to feel like you could rearrange all of the sex scenes in this story in random order and no one would notice the difference. Sure, there would be some confusion as to why they’re talking about babies, but that would be it.

Goeth: We’d do it ourselves to see if this was accurate, but we’d rather not deal with this story’s horrific depiction of coitus more than we have to.

I let my soft hands trace over the muscular outlines of his infatuated body, feeling the silkiness of his immaculate skin.

Nora: Is his skin silky or muscular? You can’t have both. Pick one.

Quietly I watched as his eternal blue eyes pierced me,

silently eating my body with a hungry desire.

Ert: What am I supposed to say to that? No seriously, what the actual fuck am I supposed to say to that?

Goeth: Got me there. Though eyes with teeth is a good horror concept. *Scribbles something down*

I continued running my hands softly, caressingly over his hard body, causing him to moan softly, his muscles contracting and releasing under my touch. Then I leaned forward and pressed my lips against his neck, letting my tongue trace over his skin, tasting him. I wanted nothing more than to taste every bit of flesh before me, to swallow its taste and savor its delicious feeling.

Nora: Ok, this story just threw in a lot of canibalism themes. Like nearly everything else that has been in this story, I’m not comfortable with it.

Pressing my lips down harder, I bit softly against his wonderful skin, as I started to suckle on his neck, causing Link to groan out loud. After a little bit of teasing, I slowly kissed my way down his body, my tongue tracing behind my lips as I made my way down to the swollen organ between his legs.

Ert: Swollen organ? Jesus H Christ. Is manhood too risqué for this story? Also, organ is a very vague term. Technically the skin itself is an organ, so she could be sucking any part of Link’s body for all we know.

Nora: I’m trying to figure out what direction I took in my life that led me to this exact moment.

Slowly I took the head of his member into my mouth, teasing the tender tip with my tongue. Then slowly I moved to his shaft, caressing it with my tongue as I slowly licked up and down it. While I caressed his member with my lips and tongue, Link’s soft moans soon turned into loud cries of pleasure and ecstasy.

Goeth: She licked one part, then she moved down and started to lick more of it. For something that’s supposed to be erotic, this comes off more like a cut and dry instruction manual.

I felt his body quivering under my gentle hands as I ran one up over his body, his loud cries of ecstasy filling the room. Then Link let out a loud tiger like cry when I took his member fully into my mouth, engulfing it. Slowly I moved my lips up and down the shaft, dragging my tongue up the tender underside as I went. Little by little I begun to up the movement, causing Link to cry out in pure bliss as I caused waves of pure pleasure to go surging threw his body, the fire radiating to his lower organs.

Nora: Uh, this story is written mainly from Jenna’s perspective. This means one of three things. 1. Jenna and Link’s special bond thingie allows them to feel what the other does, in which case Jenna should be heavily affected by this, as she would essentially be sucking herself off.

Ert: Moments like this are when I seriously consider hanging up my rifting cap.

Nora: 2. Jenna is just assuming what Link is feeling, something she shouldn’t be doing. Or 3. Link is actually on fire.

Goeth: He is smoking a fair bit.

Then I found a rhythm and he started breathing faster as I started to take him over the edge. His heart started racing, his cries filled the room. And finally when I took his nut sack and caressed it with my hand, it was his undoing.

Ert: *Pinches nose* Ok, just to make sure we’re all on the same page. LQ calls the penis a “swollen organ” and she calls the testicles “nut sack.” Call me crazy, but I don’t think that

Link let out a loud tiger like cry as he reached his peak…”Oh…Goddesses JENNA!”….he cried releasing his essence into my mouth.

Ert: And she calls semen essence. Good fucking Lord.

Nora: And he’s calling Jenna a goddess. Fuck it, that counts.

(Mary Sue Counter: 26)

He fell back panting and I looked up and into his eyes as I swallowed, tasting the sweetness of him.

Goeth: He fell back, and she’s looking up. Direction is all over this place in this story.

Slowly I moved back to his lips and kissed him passionately, the taste of him still on my lips. Then I felt his hands embrace me as he gently rolled me over onto my stomach. Straddling my legs, I felt his member at the entrance of my pussy as he slowly slid his hard organ inside. As he started to penetrate deeper, I felt him move forward as his mouth begun pressing down against my neck again.

Ert: Seriously, cut the shit. Make up your mind. Are you going to use “vague” and “romantic” terms to describe

I felt my body beginning to convulse as his steady gentle thrusts caused me to cry out like a female tiger,

Nora: As opposed to a male tiger. Although I’m not sure if they would really sound that different to the untrained ear. Either way.

(Cat Counter: 10)

Ert: Maybe LQ was a closet furry. If that’s the case, I honestly hope that she became more comfortable with her sexuality. I’m not making a joke here, I’m being honest.

ecstasy filling each note. His mouth pressed harder against my neck as he gently bit on it, his tiger like groans being muffled against my skin. Then he thrust himself deeper into me, causing my body to shudder in pure bliss, my nails digging into the floor as my groans soon turned into loud cries of ecstasy. He continued to bite down on my neck and back in unison with his steady thrusts sending waves of eternal bliss to go surging threw my body, threw my every vein, as my loud tiger like cries tore into the air.

Ert: I hope that she became more comfortable with herself if her being a furry was the case, but I’ve got a very good feeling that it was just Jenna trying and failing to make her prose sound profound.

(Cat Counter: 11)

Goeth: The electronics in these counters are going to burn out at this rate.

I moved under him, teased him, causing him to bite down even more as he started pushing himself harder into me, his groans being filled with an angry tone.

Nora: Uh, did we just move into the realm of angry sex? Uh, how many fetishes have been crammed into this story now.

Goeth: Haven’t bothered counting, Ert would have an aneurysm if I rote it all down.

I cried out again as I bucked up against Link, my body shuddering in immense bliss, until an even more violent spasm raged it, causing me to scream out in mind boggling pleasure. Then I felt myself being taken over the edge, his tiger like groans passing his lips each time he bit down, dominating me like a male tiger mating.

Nora: Ok, there’s another fetish, the domination fetish. All of these are perfectly ok when done between consenting adults, but stuffing them all into this story makes it come off as an insubstantial mess.

Ert: And two more fucking tiger references, literal fucking tiger references.

(Cat Counter: 13)

I cried out to him, bucked up against his legs, forcing him in deeper as I felt myself starting to climax. He started to thrust harder into my body, as he bit down harder against the nape of my neck, his groans getting louder as he started to reach his peak. I pushed up against him as he thrust down hard again, our cries filled the air as I was finally thrust over the edge. With one last thrust, I bucked up against Link one last time as I climaxed, my cries filling the air as I gushed down his legs. Then Link was sent over the edge, he bucked his head back and cried out as he released his essence deep inside me.

Ert: You know what really annoys me? Sex can be used to really show the intimacy between two people. Just how far that they’ve come, just how much they trust each other, and how close they are. Sex can be a scary thing for someone new to it, and even after they’ve done it a fair bit, it’s exposing yourself in more ways than one. It can be used to really develop characters. Instead of that, Link and Jenna just scream a lot and are compared to cats.

Nora: Shame really. We’re still waiting for a story that can show sex in ANY meaningful way.

I collapsed to the floor panting, my body shuddering violently as I trying to move under Link, but he bit back down on my neck again as his hands held tightly down onto my arms.

Goeth: She was already on the floor, on the bottom for that matter. How did she “fall to the ground” after that?

Ert: I’d say that she’s falling to the ground quality wise, but she was there to begin with and from that point started to tunnel to the Earth’s core.

Still connected, the immense sexual feelings still surged threw our bodies as the after effects of our orgasms tingled in our lower organs causing us to thrust for more. Fighting with what strength he had left, Link thrust himself down into me again, forcing himself to reach a second peak. He started biting down on my neck and back again, grunting like a male tiger as he continued to thrust himself deeper inside my tired sweaty body, pushing to climax a second time.

Ert: Men still can’t do that!

Goeth: I suppose you could genetically engineer people to able to do that, but I have more important things to do with my time.

Ert: The baby seals?

Goeth: Yes the baby seals!

Feeling the strength leaving my body, I screamed, hissed, as I forced my trembling body up against his, desperately trying to reach a second peak. He too fought for the strength, as he forced his exhausted body down onto mine, his mouth sinking down harder onto my neck causing a combination of pain and pleasure to go surging threw my every vein.

Nora: Link is apparently a vampire now. Because why not.

Ert: I swear, I should’ve included a counter for ideas you come up with that I’d rather be reading. But that’s cheating, seeing as how it’s our content and not the story’s.

I screamed into the air, my nails digging into the floor as I fought to go on. Pushing my exhausted body up against his, I forced him deeper as I felt myself slowly starting to climax again. I cried out to Link, grunting like a female tiger to urge him on as I felt my body starting to be thrust over the edge yet again.

Ert: Ok seriously, the cat thing was annoying to begin with, but now we’re pushing things into Final Hunt territory for this chapter.

(Cat Counter: 14)

He returned my calls as tiger like sounds escaped passed his lips.

Ert: Thank you for proving my point.

(Cat Counter: 15)

Nora: On this story’s Enclylocpgdia Dramatica page, there’s an image of two lions fucking that we’re all sorely tempted to put up, but we won’t for obvious reasons.

Then I felt him beginning to climax again, the fire in his lower organs sent raging shocks of pleasure threw his body, caused him cry out in immense bliss.

Nora: So this is what she does with her elemental powers? Making Link shoot fire out of his dick.

Ert: REALLY considering retiring right now.

Goeth: Ditto.

We thrust against each other, our bodies trembling and convulsing while crying like tigers mating as we came to a full climax and exploded together one last time.
With one last gasp he collapsed on top of me, our bodies exhausted and dripping with sweat. He laid against my tired, shuddering body as he tried to catch his breath. We just laid there awhile shivering, trying to regain our strength, the after shocks of our orgasms still raged threw our hot sweaty bodies.

Ert: Again, not how it works. At least not in a way that lasts more than a few-WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE!?

Nora: *Pats Ert on the back*

Then I felt Link gently kiss and lick the light wounds he left on my back and neck as I heard him in my mind telling me how he enjoyed the experience we shared.

Ert: I swear, this connection is like a bum roommate. Sometimes it’s there, sometimes it isn’t, and when it is there it never bothers to clean up or pay rent.

Goeth: And it does things like leave the cabinet doors open and the lights on. And it doesn’t leave the airtight experiments alone. Yeah, my first apartment was a bit of a let down all around.

“That was one of the best we had my love.” He said to me in my mind. “It felt good, so good that I cannot wait until we do that again.” “I love you so much, my sweet rose. “Link added with passion. “I love you too Link, I always will.” I returned lovingly.

Nora: Yes, because we both have so much in common! Like the fact that we both enjoy fucking each other and the fact that we’re bother apparently secretly cats!

Ert: You joke, but that’s basically what they’re saying. “Sex was great, love you!”

Goeth: This is why I don’t partake.

Slowly we separated as I rolled over and laid next to him. I looked into his eyes as the glow of the fire reflected off of them, causing small flames to dance within them. “I want this to be a memorable night my love.” He returned as a look of passion and desire shone in those magnificent eyes. “I’m not done showing you just how much you mean to me.” “As soon as I regain my strength, I’m going to give you more of my love.”

Nora: Love = semen

Ert: Do they still think it makes the kid stronger somehow?

Goeth: Let’s just throw a dirty bomb in there and call it a night.

Link said softly as he traced a finger over my lips. Shocked with his sudden words, I leaned over and put my lips close to his. “You can do whatever you want to me my love, cause tonight, I’m yours for the taking.” I whispered softly to him against his lips.

Nora: Anything? Ok cool! I’ll be right back with the rubber ducky, a set of flippers and the lube. You get the rest of the stuff…hey, you said whatever.

Ert: Uh, should I be concerned about what you do with Roger and Sheryl when I’m not looking?

Nora: Oh shut up.

Goeth: Should I do something about this Ert?


Then Link grasped his hands around my face, pulling me close to him, locking my lips with his, blending a series of small passionate kisses, which soon turned into ones that were more deeper and forceful.

Goeth: Something that doesn’t really work with locked lips.

I felt his body beginning to relax as he slowly regained his strength, his breathing begun to even out and his heart slowed its beat. The after effects of our orgasms slowly started dissipating, leaving our bodies left with only the memory.

Ert: That and, you know, the mess. Seriously, their carpet must be utterly soaked by this point, considering how often they probably do it.

Nora: Ew. *Pulls on hazmat suit* We should probably just burn it. Make things easier in the long run.

Link gently pulled me against him and held me lovingly in his arms, his lips softly against my neck as the warmth of his body caused me to groan softly against his fine blonde hair. The feelings of our love making still pulsed threw my body, causing my lower organs to still cry for him in yearning.

Ert: See, this is why I’m saying that Jenna is a ndymophomaniac. I know women have more endurance than men and all that jazz, but this is just getting absurd.

Goeth: There’s also that whole thing where she’s physically exhausted and that Link will most likely not be able to keep going.

Feeling the pulses making my body wither in longing to feel him once more, I ran my hand down his cheek, causing his jeweled eyes to stare deeply into mine. “Mmmm….Link, are you ready for me again?” I cooed as I ran my hand seductively down his chest and over his soft member, causing him to become aroused once again.

Ert: So Link’s dick seems to have been possessed by some kind of demon, that’s the only way it can constantly be going like this…I’m going to go stand in the corner for a minute and contemplate where I went wrong with my life.

Nora: Sit.

Ert: But-

Goeth: Sit. We’re almost done.

Ert: Fine.

His lips met my neck in response as he placed soft kisses on it. Then he softly kissed his way down to my breasts, his mouth resting on one of my nipples as he started to gently suckle on it. Soft moans of pleasure passed my lips as he nibbled gently on my nipple causing it to become erect. Then I clasped my hands around his muscular arms and broke his attack on my breasts as I slowly begun to lay him down once more. Straddling him again, I slowly slid down on his now swollen member, taking it slowly inside me.

Nora: Yes, she once again took the demon and or mutant cock inside of her.

Goeth: Note to self. Develop sub-race of humans that reproduce asexually.

Ert: And hurry! (Binary fission, fragmentation or division?)

Goeth: (Still working on that bit)

I drew a sharp breath as I rested against his pelvis, and begun to grind against him in a slow rocking motion, causing Link to moan loudly in ecstasy. Slowly at first then I upped the movements, causing violent spasms to rage threw our bodies, the loudest vocalizations yet escaping past our lips.

Ert: Ok, why are they experiencing body spasms this early? From what I know about sex, which admittedly isn’t a huge amount, that doesn’t really happen around this period.

Nora: Like sex the third time in an hour, this scene is rather forced and awkward.

As I pushed down onto him, my body withered as shocks of wonderful pleasure were sent through my every vein, my body screaming in ecstasy as I felt the muscles inside me contracting and releasing against his organ. Then I bucked my head back and screamed into the air as yet another violent spasm raged threw my body, causing it to wither in immense bliss. “Oh.…..my Goddesses…..yes…..Link…YES!” I screamed again, as I felt my body explode in pleasure, my nails digging down into his arms.

Ert: And we needed to ride this rodeo three times in the same chapter because…I’m guessing LQ wrote this one handed. Not trying to shame her or anything, (I save that for when EP tries to justify rape) but I get the nagging feeling that that’s what happened.

Goeth: Why else would she write something this “graphic.”

Link too cried out in immense bliss as I begun moving faster, grinding against his pelvis, his body shuddering violently, his heart beating faster as his broad hands grasped firmly against my breasts, his fingers probing the nipples. I begun to feel Link’s heart beating in unison with mine, his voice ringing loudly threw my mind, our souls connected.

Nora: Ok, is that pretentious prose or is the story honestly trying to tell me that their souls fused?

Ert: Well, one way or another it’s the first thing.

Nora: True, but is it also the second thing?

Goeth: Don’t look at me, I never studied the supernatural that much.

Our bodies withered together as I pumped faster, the sheer ecstasy raged threw my body,

Ert: Out the window? Good.

radiating toward the nucleus between my legs. Then I thrust him deeper into me as I felt myself starting to climax. My body screaming and shuddering violently, as though I was electrified in his arms

Goeth: You’re not, but it can be arranged.

Ert: Why do I keep reading crappy stories that make me want to let him off the leash? I am honestly considering letting myself get pulled in front of the UN.

as I felt Link push up against me, feeling him starting to climax. I bucked my head back as my cries tore into the air….UNGH…Link…Oh Goddesses….LINK! I screamed as I reached my peak and gushed down Link’s legs, the juices dripping down his side and onto the floor. JENNA!….

Link screamed as he climaxed, releasing into me again. Gasping for air, I crashed down on top of him, my body still shuddering and dripping with sweat.
I just laid there, embraced in Link’s sweaty arms, our bodies still feeling the after shocks of our orgasms.

Nora: They both probably stink something fierce.

Ert: SHHHHH! That ruins the flatness of the fantasy.

Goeth: And this is a special kind of flat. It’s already stuck firmly in the first dimension, any further and it would blink out of existence.

My fingertips traced over the broad curvatures of Link’s face, his eyes sparkling with loving glances. Then I nestled my cheek against his, my lips pressing softly against the lobe of his pointed ear. Slowly I traced the outlines of his sexy ear with my lips and tongue,

Ert: WHAT IS SO FUCKING SEXY ABOUT POINTED EARS!? Seriously, can someone explain it to me?

Goeth: Can? Yes. Will? Not so much.

Nora:…Probably for the best.

stopping every so often to gently nibble on the lobe. I listened to the soft moans that passed Link’s lips as I sweetly nibbled on the tip of his pointed ear, weaving my tongue in and around the blue hoop earring he wore at the top. I felt Link’s heart beginning to beat slowly,

Ert: BEGINNING!? When did it stop beating? Did it stop at one point.

Nora: Wow, this rabbit hole has no freaking bottom.

his thoughts running softly in my mind, the connection between us full. Then I felt my eyes slowly beginning to drift, and I nestled my head against the silky skin of Link’s chest, his arms holding me in a protective embrace, as I softly drifted off to sleep. This was one night I as not going to forget.

Ert: Why? No seriously why? You fucked. You’ve done this six previous times throughout the story. What makes this time more special?

Nora: The ancient power of “because I say so.”

Link surly made this a memorable night, one that appeared in my dreams more then once. Even during the times when we were separated, too far for us to communicate telepathically, I often dreamed of that night, the night where we expressed our deepest love for each other, from the special bond we share. A bond that cannot be broken.

Ert: Because you cannot break something that never truly existed.


42 Comments on “1599: My Inner Life – Chapter 22”

  1. AdmiralSakai says:

    Link has prospered in the military. He is now fleet general of the king’s entire army.

    Nora: Uh, beg pardon? Fleet general? So does he command an army or does he command a navy?

    He’s the Fleet General of the Marine Corps.

  2. AdmiralSakai says:

    As out tongues entwined I felt his hands trickling up my sides as he started sliding down the straps of my dress. My body started quivering under his gentle touch as he slid the top of my dress down freeing my breasts.

    I think the Sues are melting.

  3. my shuddering, pulsating body

    Am I going to have to call in the UNITY biohazard division again?

  4. AdmiralSakai says:

    teasing the tender tip with my tongue

    *Angrily.* Author! Awkward, annoying alliteration!

  5. AdmiralSakai says:

    I felt his body beginning to relax as he slowly regained his strength, his breathing begun to even out and his heart slowed its beat. The after effects of our orgasms slowly started dissipating, leaving our bodies left with only the memory.

    Ert: That and, you know, the mess. Seriously, their carpet must be utterly soaked by this point, considering how often they probably do it.

    Nora: Ew. *Pulls on hazmat suit* We should probably just burn it. Make things easier in the long run.

    *Grabs his target designator* Probably best to just napalm the whole house from high altitude, actually.

  6. AdmiralSakai says:

    the loudest vocalizations yet escaping past our lips.

    They’re going to break the fucking windows if they keep this up.

  7. Delta XIII says:

    Goeth: Let’s just throw a dirty bomb in there and call it a night.

    Please do! I’ll even help!

  8. Delta XIII says:

    the sheer ecstasy raged threw my body,

    *ecstasy-filled corpse flies past*
    Huh. For once, it’s not heading towards SC. Wonder where it’s going?

  9. andiliteman says:

    “Happy anniversary too my goddess.” Link said softly as he handed the golden wrapped box to me.

    Now, considering Link possesses a Triforce, the relic of an ACTUAL goddess, would this be an appropriate pet name?

    Who am I kidding? She’s a Sue, of course it is.

  10. andiliteman says:

    He said as he held the gold dagger encrusted with jewels in his hands. Taking the dagger he swished it into the air a few time before putting it into the sheath I provided for him.

    What’s funny about this scene to me is that, while this is a totally foolish and silly thing to do in real life, it’s exactly what you would expect from someone in a video game.

  11. Angie says:

    Nora: Anything? Ok cool! I’ll be right back with the rubber ducky, a set of flippers and the lube. You get the rest of the stuff…hey, you said whatever.

    Ert: Uh, should I be concerned about what you do with Roger and Sheryl when I’m not looking?

    Nora: Oh shut up.

    Goeth: Should I do something about this Ert?


  12. Angie says:

    Ert: REALLY considering retiring right now.

    Kudos for getting so far in the fic before considering that.

  13. andiliteman says:

    Ert: WHAT IS SO FUCKING SEXY ABOUT POINTED EARS!? Seriously, can someone explain it to me?

    I find them more cute than anything. Though, that’s generally because people who wear them IRL are geeky enough to say “I’m going to be an elf today”, and that’s adorable.

  14. BatJamags says:

    Then I felt myself being taken over the edge, his tiger like groans passing his lips each time he bit down, dominating me like a male tiger mating.

    *Points at fic*

    FIC! You are not going to make me research the mating habits of tigers, goddammit, so stop making it necessary.

  15. BatJamags says:

    Goeth: Let’s just throw a dirty bomb in there and call it a night.

    A dirty bomb? Haven’t you seen this author’s idea of “dirty?” Because that’s not something I want to escalate.

  16. BatJamags says:

    Ert: And hurry! (Binary fission, fragmentation or division?)

    Goeth: (Still working on that bit)

    Kane: (Personally, I recommend wiping out the human race and replacing them with immortal beings alien to this plane of existence disguised in human form, but cloning is an acceptable alternative as well)

  17. BatJamags says:

    Ert: WHAT IS SO FUCKING SEXY ABOUT POINTED EARS!? Seriously, can someone explain it to me?

    Well, I don’t know about that, but I did just remember something: there are no humans in LoZ. The closest equivalent is Hylians like Link and Zelda (and presumably Jenna), who all have pointed ears.

  18. Swenia says:

    Then my body suddenly convulsed when he slid his fingers further down and gently pushed two fingers deep inside me, the new sensation causing my back to arc again as my soft moans suddenly turned into loud tiger cries.


    You’ve been married how long now? If this is the first time he’s added an extra finger while rubbing you down, you’ve been doing it wrong.

  19. Swenia says:

    Anyone else here bothered that there was a dinner that didn’t get eaten? I was preoccupied half the time wondering when they were going to eat, and then the other half of the time that they were going to completely forget the meal.

    I was absolutely devastated when nobody ate it.

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