508: From Another World – Chapters 21 and 22

Title: From Another World
Author: EclipsePheniox
Media: Video Game
Topic:  Mass Effect / Parallel Realities
Genre: Supernatural/Romance/AU
URL: From Another World Chapter 21 and Chapter 22
Critiqued by Erttheking

Chapter 21: On they way

*Looks at chapter title*  REALLY!?  Oh fuck let’s get this over with.  Cornelia, you settling in?

*Grunt* Dr. Psycho over there took my short sword and now it has… I don’t even want to know all over it.

Well I’m SORRY!  I was thirsty and King over there broke my usual knife on his last homicidal rampage.

Cool your tits, I ordered a new one on Amazon.  Should be here in a few days if they can find the place.

Where are we anyway?

An asteroid base I built.

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503: From Another World – Chapters 19 & 20

Title: From Another World
Author: EclipsePheniox
Media: Video Game
Topic:  Mass Effect / Parallel Realities
Genre: Supernatural/Romance/AU
URL: From Another World Chapter 19 & Chapter 20
Critiqued by Erttheking

YOU MOTHERFUCKER!  YOU STUPID MORONIC SELF ABSORBED MOTHERFUCKER!  I FLAT OUT TOLD YOU WHY YOUR STORY WASN’T FUCKING WORKING AND YOU DIDN’T LISTEN TO A SINGLE FUCKING WORD I SAID DID YOU!  WHAT ON EARTH MADE YOU THINK THAT ONE SINGLE SENTENCE THAT YOU TYPED DOWN WASN’T SOMETHING YOU SCRAPPED OUT OF YOUR SHIT!?

Anyone want to fill me in?

He read the latest chapter of From Another World.  Could you keep it down pal?  The latest issue of cybernetics weekly just came in, some crazy son of a bitch invented an eye that shoots lasers.  Gonna try to see if I can modify it to shoot plasma bolts.

*Takes a deep breath*.  So yeah, a new chapter of From Another World came out, chapter 41 for the records involved a FUCKING STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID THING!  Look, I’m just going to make something perfectly clear.  I don’t hate EP.  I have no ill will towards the guy.  I’m not one of those people on the internet who sends someone death threats for working on something that I don’t like.  But this story is just fucking horrendous!  Chapter 41 neatly captures everything that is wrong with this story.  Not to mention the way he treats women raises its ugly head again, and it is by far the MOST DISGUSTING…no wait, there’s another one before that that is worse.  All I’ll say is that it involves Kim and we’ll get to it before too long.  Both incidents may drive me to record a webcam video to capture my rage.

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499: From Another World – Chapter 18

Title: From Another World
Author: EclipsePheniox
Media: Video Game
Topic:  Mass Effect / Parallel Realities
Genre: Supernatural/Romance/AU
URL: From Another World Chapter 18
Critiqued by Erttheking

*Sigh* Good fucking Christ.

What’s the problem champ?

 It’s funny really.  As half assed as Parallel Realities was I at least got the impression that it had something resembling a soul.  At least InHarmsWay had something resembling imagination and creativity, even if he didn’t know the first fucking thing about story structure and characterization.  From Another World just doesn’t feel like it has a fucking soul.  I kinda realized that in the last two chapters.  At least InHarmsWay changed up the way scenes played out to some extent when copy pasting the events of the games, EP can’t even do THAT!  I’m struggling to think of one creative thought he put into this story that isn’t “InHarmsWay did that but this is even dumber and that’s saying something” or “Pretentious medieval fetish” which kinda connects to the first.  It just has all the tell tale signs of someone just not giving a shit.

Hey, come on there pal.  Parallel Realities’ sexism was limited to Tali.  This story insults the entire female gender! 

 That’s true, but…I don’t know.

This chapter has Aria in it?  Remember the pedo moment?

 LET’S ROAST THIS BITCH!

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494: From Another World – Chapters 16 & 17

Title: From Another World
Author: EclipsePheniox
Media: Video Game
Topic:  Mass Effect / Parallel Realities
Genre: Supernatural/Romance/AU
URL: From Another World Chapter 16 and Chapter 17
Critiqued by Erttheking

Chapter 16: Awakened

Oh look, no grammar errors for me to correct for once, he’s learning

Well, I’m here with Nora and Goeth and we’re here to tackle another chapter of this POS.  Starting today, we’re officially in ME2 territory.  Technically we were already with Shepard dying at the end of the last chapter but considering that was all before the title drop, SHUT UP!

And I brought some whiskey and shot glasses

Sorry, I think booze tastes like piss.

AND I WANNA BE SOBER FOR THIS!

*Sighs* Wimps. Read the rest of this entry »

490: From Another World – Chapter 15

Title: From Another World
Author: EclipsePheniox
Media: Video Game
Topic:  Mass Effect / Parallel Realities
Genre: Supernatural/Romance/AU
URL: From Another World Chapter 15
Critiqued by Erttheking

Chapter 15:  The Ark the Home World and the Party

Ok, writing this one by the edge of my seat, hope I can get it up in time.  Also a quick heads up there was another ideas “Chapter” which I’m not going to be spoiling because it gives away some VERY FUCKING STUPID twists.  We’ll get to them when they come up in the story proper.

*Thump*  *Thump* *Thump* And when it does happen, I’ll be ready

Uh, Goeth, what’s that?

You remember that Chimera Mech that you were thinking about having the Enclave field?  I was in a helpful mood so I went and built a prototype for you.  Also I decided not to be stupid like Cerberus and have the cockpit be surrounded by glass, reinforced titanium all the way baby. Read the rest of this entry »