1715: Digiball Z: The Movie – Chapter Five

Title: Digiball Z: The Movie
Author: Dakari-King Mykan
Media: Anime
Topic: Digimon/Dragonball Z
Genre: Adventure/Action/Crossover
URL:  Chapter Five
Critiqued by AwkwardFerret

So, uh…bit of a hiatus. School started up again and I wanted a chance to get accustomed before resuming this. But now that I’m free, let’s go!

CHAPTER FIVE

The Pretty Woman with an Ugly Mind

Lena Dunham?

Five Ultimate Leveled Digimon were headed towards the plains where word had told of a Specter roaming about.

DIGIMON ANALYZER

Unlike other Shogunmon, These Ultimate Level Shogunmon come in five different colors, and all wear an armor supposedly indestructible.

And possess grammar completely backwards.

Alone these fighters are skilled in the art of the Shogun, but that’s not their only special ability.

The Digimon, led by Red-Shogunmon and his four brothers, Blue, Black, White, and Yellow…

Oh, son of a bitch, is this more Power Rangers shit?

were deeply concerned of all the trouble that had been occurring since Kyokotsumon had appeared.

“We have never backed down from serving our home-world before.” Said Red-Shogunmon, “And we are not backing down now.”

Well, they are correct that they’ve never backed down, since I’ve never seen them do jack shit until now.

White-Shogunmon looked up. “Ah… Brothers, up ahead. Look!” he said pointing on ahead.

There up ahead, a strange, yet rather attractive female

Oh, but of course.

dressed in a purple and black Ninja-robe was slowly walking up the path.

She stopped and looked up at the five brothers up ahead, and they stopped in their tracks to question her.

“You there…” said Red-Shogunmon, “We are on a quest to locate an unusual creature that had escaped from content.”

It got away from the slog of crap on YouTube? Lucky.

“Would you happen to know that creature?” asked Black-Shogunmon.

The strange female ran her hand through her short yet wavy black hair. “A Specter, you say?” she said in a rather sweet, yet deep voice. “How unusual.”

The five brothers felt themselves blush at the sight of her beauty,

Oh, but of course.

but the rekindled quickly. “We are serious.” Said Blue-Shogunmon, “Have you seen this creature, or haven’t you.”

The woman grinned. “I might have, and maybe I haven’t.” she winked at the brothers.

“You are driving our patients.”

What, to the hospital? She’s quite the hero, in that case!

Snapped Yellow-Shogunmon, “We will ask you this one last time. Have you seen the creature?”

The woman sighed in disappointment, “I hate to tell you this, but you boys just don’t amuse me.” She said. “So…” she pulled a long sword out from her back.

Driving patients to the hospital with a massive stab wound in her back? She’s not a hero, she’s fucking Superman! Or Superwoman. Whatever.

“… I’ll just have to dispose of you all.”

The brothers took that as their answer. So she was the Specter they had been searching for, now they readied themselves for battle and drew out their weapons.

“BLACK-ARCHER BOW!!”

“BLUE-LANCE!!”

“RED-SHEILD!!”

“WHITE-FORKS!!”

Ooh, watch out, he’s gonna murder you with cutlery.

“YELLOW-RAKE

Ooh, and gardening tools, how scurry. What’s next, Purple-Balloon?

They all charged towards the woman on Red’s order, but before they could even strike her… “Ha, child’s play.” Said the woman as she swung her arm back…

“SERPENT-SWORD-STRIKE!!”

All was quiet… all was quiet still, and then… KABOOM!!

Hooray, Loser Force is dead!

Meanwhile

Davis and the others were not far away from the battle-zone, when Kari’s head perked up.

“Kari, what’s wrong?” asked Davis. Kari hesitated to answer. Gennai told the Team that Kari would be the best to sense the seeds of light, and to if any Digimon nearby had been destroyed.

Oh, that’s fucking nice, she gets to detect the plot devices and the corpses. At least she’s doing something approaching useful.

She quickly turned right and began to soar downward. “Kari… Kari… hey wait up!!” Davis called, and he followed her, with the rest of the team following behind.

They all landed near the sight of five Digimon warrior’s laying dead on the ground, and a attractive yet strange woman was admiring their weapons.

Oh, wonderful, necrophilia, I’ll add that to the list…

“Hmm… this is what they use to do battle these days?” she said. She snorted in disgust and moved onto the next weapon.

“Hey, you there!” Davis shouted. The woman gently placed the girl back on the ground, and looked up and saw the entire team.

“What happened to those Shogunmon?” asked Angel-Veemon. “Did you slay them?!”

Angel-Veemon: Master Detective

The woman took one look at the boys “Hey, are you the one I am searching for?” she asked, “Are you, Daisuke Motomiya, and are you Angel-Veemon?”

The whole team looked confused. Davis angrily steeped forward. “Just who are you, and how do you know me and Angel-Veemon?” he asked.

Her eye’s twinkled and her cheeks went all red, “My word… YOU’RE BOTH ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE!”

Damn, back off, lady! You’ve already got five corpses, leave them alone!

Kari and Angewomon’s features changed “Excuse me…?” Kari asked.

“Did you just call our boyfriends… CUTE!!!” added Angewomon who hated it when girls made cute remarks about her boyfriend.

But the Woman just continued to eye the boys “Oh, you are both so elegant.” she cooed, “That golden hair, and those Angel wings. I want them!” he licked his lips.

Mysterious woman: “Deep fried with barbecue sauce, that is!”

“Who is this girl?” asked Cody, who seemed disgusted. “Could she be a Digimon? I mean, she looks so human.”

TK remembered, “Gennai told us… about Seven powerful Digimon who loved to kill that were later captured and imprisoned in the destiny stones.” he said.

“Tell us… are you one of the Band of Seven.” The woman now began to stare him down too.

“ANSWER US!!” snarled Magna-Angemon.

“Davis and Angel-Veemon are rather Charming, but you and your partner are pretty sexy looking too!” she cooed wickedly.

Good god, stop! It’s not as much fun to mock when it’s THIS overt!

Now the whole team shred a look of disgust. “But to answer you’re question…” said the man as he withdrew his sword, “Yes, I’m part of the band of Seven… The Name is, Jakotsumon!”

“Jakotsumon?” asked Ken, “Hey that sounds just like Kyokotsumon’s name.”

You know, except for the parts that don’t sound at all like Kyokotsumon’s name.

“Mmm, ha, ah, ah, ah… You’re as smart as you are cute yourself.” Laughed Jakotsumon. Ken looked sic at that remark, and Yolei looked pissed.

“All members of the Band of seven have the name, KOTSU. Which means… BONES!

Well, I guess it’s better than meaning CSI…

But enough chitchatting for now, I want see your styles.”

“Alright then, let’s do this!” snapped Yolei, clenching her fists. “Wait, Yolei…!” said Aquilamon. “Why don’t you let us Digimon take this one.”

“What?!” snapped Yolei, but then the other Digimon were inclined to agree, and Davis was as well. “You can’t be serious?” replied Yolei.

What the fuck are you talking about, Yolei? Even with bullshit Saiyan powers, they’re still probably stronger than you, being, y’know, Digimon, so they probably should go in first to see what’s up.

Davis told them this would a be a great experience for the Digimon to finally test out their new strengths and power. True they weren’t as strong as Angel-Veemon, but they were strong nonetheless.

“Besides… if they get hurt we can always take over.”

There was no arguing it over. “Go get her, Magna-Angemon!” said TK.

“You bet I will!”

TK: “Not that way, Magna-Angemon!”

“Ankylomon.” Said Cody, “You be careful out there.”

“Don’t worry, Cody. I know what I’m doing!”

Soon, Angel-Veemon lead the other Digimon up to the front, leaving Davis’ team to hover up onto the cliffs to watch the battle.

“Well… it’s up to them now!” Davis said.

Davis: “I’ll be taking bets on how long they’ll last shortly.”

Jakotsumon’s eyes glittered even brighter than before. “Ooh… this is going to be good.” she cooed.

She raised his sword in the air. “NOW TAKE THIS!”

“SERPENT-SWORD-STRIKE!!”

She slashed her sword, and the blade seemed to stretch out on many other blades connected.

Sorry, could you repeat that? It’s just that it made no fucking sense at all, is all.

“LOOK OUT!” cried Stingmon, and with the help of their new Super-Speeds, they each swayed out of the way just in time.

“It is useless to try and run from me!” snapped Jakotsumon, and her blade seemed to continue to pursue them everywhere.

“SERPENT-SWORD-STRIKE!!”

“Her sword… it moves just like a Snake…

A security camera?!

It just keeps striking!” cried Angewomon. “How are we supposed to avoid it?”

“Split up…” cried Angel-Veemon. “She can’t follow all of us at once!” The others nodded and scurried off.

As the battle raged on, Jakotsumon proved to be quite the adversary, her speed was just phenomenal as the others had a hard time avoiding her and her blade.

Ankylomon’s hard shell was hard enough to at least weaken the swords hits, but not strong enough to stop it.

None of the Digimon were able to get close enough to even punch her face.

Obviously, the only option. As we all know, Digimon possess no long-range attacks.

But Jakotsumon was really interested in Angel-Veemon the most.

“Ha, ah, ah, ah… That fear in your eyes is so captivating, Angel-Veemon.” Jakotsumon said. “But don’t think you can escape me that easily.”

She retracted her sword and leapt up into the air. “Here I come my sweet Angel.” She cooed.

“SERPENT-SWORD-STRIKE!!”

I’m beginning to notice a pattern here…

Angel-Veemon barely Dodged it. He was able to knock it out of the way with his Heaven’s Fist, but he left wing was grazed, and he was beginning to lose height!

“Angel-Veemon!!” cried Angewomon as she helped him up. “Are you hurt?”

“It’s just a graze, I’ll be alright!”

“Ha, ha, ah, ah, ah, ah… Your blood is so beautiful.” Jakotsumon sniggered!

A lot of patterns, actually.

Ew.

“I can’t wait to see you covered in it.”

“Oh… this is hopeless.” Yolei said as she watched the battle. “The sword comes back even they repel it.” Added Cody.

Ken tried the Digimon Analyzer on Jakotsumon, but once again, all there was, was just one picture, and No Data.

Yolei saw Aquilamon get hit again, and was nearly ready to jump into the battle. “No, not yet!” Davis said.

“But Davis, have you seen that sword?” asked TK “It can’t be stopped even it hits something!”

Somewhere, Isaac Newton is crying. I can sympathize.

Suddenly, everyone got Davis’ drift. “So, we have to find a way to get her to drop it.”

Davis nodded and motioned them to hover a little higher just above the mountain.

They Digimon saw Davis wave from above, them behind the fountain and they caught on to what they had to do.

If they toss coins in the fountain, she’ll have to stop and steal them because she’s the villain!

“Hey, Jakotsumon…” Davis called. “Up here!”

Jakotsu turned round, and saw him, TK, Cody, and Ken, posing seductively at her. “Hey pretty woman, come get us.” TK said in a cool-cat tone.

Jakotsumon’s heart beat like crazy. “Oh… this is so much fun.” she cried for joy. “You want it… HERE IT COMES!”

She leapt up…

“SERPENT-SW ORD-STRIKE!!”

Man, Jakotsumon, you sure are lazy.

Her sword extended and bended towards the boys, but while Digimon may not have been fast enough to evade her blade, the boys sure were, Even TK could do it.

“DO IT, GIRLS!” he cried.

Jakotsumon looked as she descended back to the ground, and both Kari and Yolei were standing on either side of her.

“POWER-BLITZ!!”

“DODON-WAVE!!”

DUMBASS ATTACK NAME!!

The two small blasts forced the sword out of her hand and it crashed down onto the ground.

“GRR… You love wenches Tricked me!” she roared as she fell. “No fair!”

Love wenches? I don’t think that’s a correct phrase ANYWHERE.

“Think fast…!” came Angel-Veemon’s voice.

“HEAVEN’S FIST!!”

Jakotsumon looked ahead just in time to see catch the huge punch SMACK in the face, and she crashed onto the ground.

GOD PUNCH!!

The Digimon and their partners now all stood to confront her. “Give it up, Jakotsumon!” said TK. “You can’t beat us all!”

Jakotsumon stood up shakily holding her face. “How could you punch my beautiful face?” she whined. “That’s cruel.”

The fighters and Digimon shared confused looks. “Is this freak for real?” Asked Yolei.

I’m asking that myself, Yolei.

Jakotsumon pulled her hand away from her face and noticed red marks all over her palm. “Wh… WHAT’S THIS!” she cried.

“BLOOD… I HAVE A NOSE-BLEED!” he whined. “Oh this is so horrible… MY PERFECT BEAUTY IS RUINED!”

She tore off some tiny pieces from her outfit and stuffed them up her nostrils and continued to complain.

Jakotsumon: “My beauty is ruined! I’ll tear my clothes apart to fix this!”

“Shesh… and I thought she only cared about cute guys.” Said Cody.

All of them were so caught up in their own issues, that didn’t see a small shadowy figure standing up on the mountaintop.

“Eh, heh, heh, heh , heh… My, but Jakotsumon hasn’t changed a bit.” He said behind a special muffler. “Well to bad… she had her chance. Heh, heh, heh, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!”

Small Shadowy Figure: “I’m not gonna actually do anything about it, of course. Heh, heh, heh, ah, ah, zeff, zeff, zoff!”

Author’s Notes:

Hi Everyone, Mykan here…

Do you know where I got the idea for those Shogunmon?

Nope, and neither do I care at all.

It’s a little game that I play with Power Ranger zords, each Zord is part of a Digimon tribe, andtheir Megazord form is the DNA Digivolution.

Cool, Huh? Well try it yourself, it really helps to gain ideas.

Yeah, that sounds about right.

What will happen next time? Will Jakotsumon regain her lost beauty? Will the humans actually get to do anything? Will I upload within a reasonable time frame? Find out next time on Digiball Z!


39 Comments on “1715: Digiball Z: The Movie – Chapter Five”

  1. AdmiralSakai says:

    Five Ultimate Leveled Digimon were headed towards the plains where word had told of a Specter roaming about.

    *Commander Elizabeth Birmingham Shepard suddenly materializes somewhere on the Formless Plains, looking rather flummoxed.*

    Oh, thank God you’re here. Kill those idiot kids already and let’s blow this dump.

  2. AdmiralSakai says:

    Alone these fighters are skilled in the art of the Shogun,

    They were skilled in the methods of being high-ranking nobles appointed to rule by a figurehead Emperor?

  3. AdmiralSakai says:

    There up ahead, a strange, yet rather attractive female

    Strange, you say?

    *Commander Eliabeth Birmingham Shepard suppresses a shocked gasp as Taren Shepard materializes on the Formless Plain next to her. Inside of ten seconds the hybrid is dead, the (presumable) dirt splattered with chemically-dubious mauve blood.*

    “Is it dead? Is it going to get up? This is worse than anything we found raiding Dr. Saleon’s lab…”

  4. AdmiralSakai says:

    “We have never backed down from serving our home-world before.” Said Red-Shogunmon, “And we are not backing down now.”

    Well, they are correct that they’ve never backed down, since I’ve never seen them do jack shit until now.

  5. AdmiralSakai says:

    The woman sighed in disappointment, “I hate to tell you this, but you boys just don’t amuse me.” She said. “So…” she pulled a long sword out from her back.

    “… I’ll just have to dispose of you all.”


    Please hurry.

  6. AdmiralSakai says:

    “WHITE-FORKS!!”

    Ooh, watch out, he’s gonna murder you with cutlery.

    Worse.

    With the Twilight series.

  7. AdmiralSakai says:

    She’s not a hero, she’s fucking Superman! Or Superwoman. Whatever.

    I am so triggered right now.

  8. AdmiralSakai says:

    “YELLOW-RAKE

    Ooh, and gardening tools, how scurry. What’s next, Purple-Balloon?

    Worse.

    Other creepypasta monsters.

  9. AdmiralSakai says:

    “Jakotsumon?” asked Ken, “Hey that sounds just like Kyokotsumon’s name.”

    You know, except for the parts that don’t sound at all like Kyokotsumon’s name.

    Except for the part where they have “mon” in their names, I guess. You know, like literally every other character.

  10. AdmiralSakai says:

    “All members of the Band of seven have the name, KOTSU. Which means… BONES!

    Well, I guess it’s better than meaning CSI…

    Or worse, NCIS.

    • GhostCat says:

      “Kotsu” can also mean; knack, skill, trick, secret, know-how, the ropes, hang (as in ‘getting the hang of something’) or one hundred-thousandth. It can also be an onomatopoeic word for knocking or clicking, but those are usually doubled up.

  11. AdmiralSakai says:

    “Her sword… it moves just like a Snake…

    Shit. Now it’s a Metal Gear crossover.

  12. AdmiralSakai says:

    It just keeps striking!” cried Angewomon. “How are we supposed to avoid it?”

    I would suggest better pay, health and dental coverage, and paying increased attention to workplace safety.

  13. AdmiralSakai says:

    Ha, ah, ah, ah…

    Oh god, its the orgasm laugh from Unicorn! The Circle of Mykan is complete!

  14. AdmiralSakai says:

    but he left wing was grazed

    Quick! Somebody alert Bernie Sanders!

  15. AdmiralSakai says:

    “SERPENT-SW ORD-STRIKE!!”

    Serpent-southwest ordinance-strike?

  16. AdmiralSakai says:

    “DODON-WAVE!!”


    Terrifying.

  17. AdmiralSakai says:

    It’s a little game that I play with Power Ranger zords, each Zord is part of a Digimon tribe, andtheir Megazord form is the DNA Digivolution.

    Cool, Huh? Well try it yourself, it really helps to gain ideas.

    You know, moments like this are what it takes to remind me Dakari King Mykan is really, really dumb.

  18. BatJamags says:

    The Pretty Woman with an Ugly Mind

    You leave Roy Orbison out of this!

    • BatJamags says:

      “Hey pretty woman, come get us.” TK said in a cool-cat tone.

      I said to leave Roy Orbison out of this!

  19. BatJamags says:

    armor supposedly indestructible

    Oui, c’est l’armure soi-disant indestructible!

  20. BatJamags says:

    The Digimon, led by Red-Shogunmon and his four brothers, Blue, Black, White, and Yellow…

    How many times do we have to establish that Team RWBY can’t have a fifth member?

  21. BatJamags says:

    dressed in a purple and black Ninja-robe

    Ah, yes, a ninja robe, since spies and assassins are well known for wearing easily identifiable clothing which is associated specifically with them.

    What is this, Mortal Kombat?

  22. BatJamags says:

    The five brothers felt themselves blush at the sight of her beauty,

    Keep that up and I’ll chainsaw your technicolor asses.

  23. BatJamags says:

    “YELLOW-RAKE

  24. BatJamags says:

    “SERPENT-SWORD-STRIKE!!”

    What is it with Mykan and having people call out stupid names for their attacks? Can’t he write a fight scene like a normal person?

  25. BatJamags says:

    “You can’t be serious?” replied Yolei.

  26. Delta XIII says:

    Jakotsumon’s eyes glittered even brighter than before. “Ooh… this is going to be good.” she cooed.