2773: 109th Star and i hate my life – oneshots

Title: 109th Star
Author: 13th Alice
Media: Video Game
Topic: Suikoden
Genre: Adventure / Romance
URL: 109th Star
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Heyo, patrons!  Welcome to the start of another one-shot breather between projects!  This week I’m digging up a canon that we haven’t featured for quite a while in the Library: Suikoden.

As a quick refresher, Suikoden is a JRPG video game series featured on the Playstation and Playstation2 which spanned five mainline games and a handful of spinoffs (and is being spiritually succeeded by the currently in-development Eiyuden Chronicle).  The basic premise of the games usually revolves around some kind of political upheaval and the formation of a resistance army, which includes recruiting a large cast of characters both playable and supporting.

A few of the recurring themes revolve around the numbers 108 and 27, which are sacred in many of the the Dharmic religions, as well as the existence of the Soul Eater run, which is there as a dualist expression of life and death as well as the inevitability of great power to consume the one who wields it.  Most of the games are really good if you enjoy JRPGs, though the earlier games aged a bit poorly due to the forced orthogonal movement where it really didn’t need to exist.  Of the entire series, I highly recommend S2, S3, and S5 as the ones most worth playing if you can get your hands on them. The first game is definitely being good, but definitely rudimentary and “first game” compared to later installments, and S4 being generic and lackluster compared to other entries in the series.

Anyway, now that we’ve got the basics down let’s get into this one!  And, we’re going to start with the title because that’s where the problems start.

109th Star

This is a problem in two ways.  First, 108 is the sacred number that is core to the series, representing the 108 Stars of Destiny within the series, but is itself derived from the Toaist belief that one’s destiny is determined by their star as well as the prevalence of 108 as an important number in many martial arts styles tied to Buddism’s influence.  109 would be a corruption of that, which is why even in the games where there are over108 notable characters (S2 and S5 being noteworthy as arguably having a character who would be the 109th, and a mention of Estella searching for the nonexistent 109th in S3), only 108 are considered true Stars of Destiny.  Talking about the 109th Star is akin to talking about the fourth aspect of the Triune God.

The second way this is a problem is that it screamed Sue at me from the fic list.  And, really, I can’t ignore something like that.  Especially not when it’s followed immediately by:

What if… There is a single star.. .left in the sky..unnoticed? would it become a part of the others? Or left unnoticed? 1 OC.

How am I supposed to ignore a hot mess of that magnitude!?

“Request to Janam?” the leader, Kiehl asked.

Okay, so this narrows things down.  Referencing the Magedom of Janam places the fic as being based on Suikoden Tierkreis, which is one of the few games I haven’t played from the series.

Not that it’s likely to matter all that much since Kiehl isn’t a character in ANY of the games, Tierkreis included.

A big question mark was written on his face.

Hmm, I think we need to get a Sharpie.

No wonder he was confused, the infamous quietest guy in the company asked a request to him for the first time.

So he confused himself by asking a question?  That’s odd, but I’ve found myself in those “What the fuck am I doing!?” moments from time to time.

Face to face.

Lady in Reeeeeeeeeeeeed, is requesting of me…

Silence hung in the air, Kiehl is still petrified with the situation.

“Oh crap, social interaction!  Okay, keep it together, Kiehl, we’ve probably got an operating procedure around here somewhere on this.  WHERE THE HELL IS THE MANUAL!?”

It’s like being inside my brain at any party I’ve ever gone to.

Then, the marksman started to speak.

“Yes.” A simple word came out from Buchse’s mouth.

Dammit all!  Why do authors keep fucking up dialogue formatting and attribution!?

A simple word which made that young leader, the bravest person in the company shocked to death.

Death by social electrocution.  Terrible way to go.

And again, silence hung up in the air.

Can somebody please fold that and put it in the drawer?  It’s been on the line long enough!

Buchse is still standing there. His face shows no emotion.

Mostly because he keeps it covered.

Oh hai, Buchse.

The Leader stepped toward him. “What is your purpose?” He asked.

To request Janam’s famous potato salad, sir!

“And how do we fulfil that purpose!?”

In writing and with exact change, sir!

Cautioning, but shows some care.

Is part of a sentence.

The marksman says nothing. He lowered his head.

Pick a freaking tense already, Alice!

Kiehl scratched the back of his head.

Oh who’s a good marksman?  Who’s a gooooood marksman!?

He asked again, with a warning tone.

“Which of you maggots wants something from Janam while I’m there!?  If any of you ask for one of those goddamn ‘I went to Janam and all I got was this shirt’ tourist shirts, you’ll be digging latrines until it’s time to collect your pension!”

He knew that Ritterschild and Janam never go well.

Say no more!

“Did you plan on invading the King Palace?” Buchse lifted his head.

That seems like a bit of an overreaction if all you wanted was potato salad there, buddy.

There’s a slight angriness in his face, but he managed to wipe it off in a quick flash before Kiehl saw his face.

“No.” He replied again, a simple word, but with more emotion given into it.

“Again?”  But the first time he said “yes” and was answering a completely different question!

Oh for crap’s sake, has Buchse become unstuck in inquiry!?

His eyes show determination. Kiehl kept silent for a bit, and finally opened his mouth. “Alright.”

“Good talk.”

Buchse was turning his back and started to walk away when Kiehl suddenly continued his speech. “In one condition.” He emphasized.

Probably should have used italics then.

Buchse turned his back, facing the leader.

He listened to him carefully, not mentioning the anxiety he resisted.

Why are you making that face?

“Oh, that?  Just screaming internally, like one does.”

“You must not do something that threatens our relationship with the Magedom of Janam.”

Implying that if he were to do more than one thing that threatens the relationship, that would be acceptable.

Buchse nodded and walked away, He lifted his head, noticing that someone overheard his conversation with the leader.

All fifteen words of it.

It was Jale.

Oh hai, Jale.

 He was leaning on the wall. His face looked like usual, but it shows disgust. Buchse knew it, but he doesn’t really care.

You know, the typical amount of disgust.  Around the same amount as the internal screaming one would expect.

Busche walked through him.

Bruh, that’s really rude to do to a ghost/hologram.  Not cool.

Jale didn’t turn his head to see him, but Buchse knew it, the expression on Jale’s face.

Yes, the typical disgust, we already covered this.

Jale walked toward the young leader and talked to him. Buchse didn’t even stop to hear their conversation. He walked away, away from Rune Castle.

Just walk away.  Leave your conversation, disgust, and socializing in the castle and the internal screaming will stop.  Just walk away.  You’ll get free passage to the anti-social forest.  Just walk away.

As he went through the forest, he scoffed.

Pfft, I’m just so much better than this forest.

Sighed very quietly so that he is the only one who can hear it.

If an edgelord sighs in the forest, does anyone care?

 It was strange. Buchse never accept any mission half-heartedly, especially when he request the mission himself.

It’s not really accepting a mission in that case.  That’s called instigating.

Somewhere in his deep breath, he sighed again.

I think sighing while breathing deep is called choking.  Or maybe hiccups.  Both of those are far less melodramatic than wandering through the forest of loneliness while feeling sorry for yourself.  For some reason.

He had a lot in his mind. He can’t resist his anger. He hates the king, Danash. He stole it.

He stole the king of Janam!?

Or maybe he meant to say he stole his hatred of the king?

Or maybe it meant to say that he stole the king’s Danish?

Or maybe I’m just hungry for pastry.

He stole all of his beloved ones. United Kingdom of Ritterschild. His homeland, his family, The Chronicle of Fierce Regalia…and her.

Oooh, he’s angsting about the constant border skirmishes between Ritterschild and Janam.  I think he’s also blaming Janam for the merging that creates the world of Suikoden Tierkreis, which I’m pretty certain is the fault of the Order of the One True Way and not Janam.

What’s left is just Geschutz, Minen, and him.

No…?  Pretty sure Janam only stole the Chronicle and that was pretty much it.

Buchse wouldn’t know this yet, but having the Chronicle is what eventually drew the attention of the Order which eventually ended with Janam having the desert dropped on their heads.  In a way, Janam accidentally spared Ritterschild that fate by stealing the Fierce Regalia from them.

It didn’t matter anyway because the Hero had already recovered the Chronicle from Janam at that point.

He can’t resist anymore. He has done thousand missions. He spied, he disguised, and he even killed once.

That’s a pretty low number for a sharpshooter in a military which is active in hostilities.  He must not be a very good shot.

It’s all for Ritterschild. But now, it’s meaningless. Ritterschild is in the grasp of Janam.

No, pretty sure it isn’t.  Stealing their Chronicle is not the same as planting a flag in their country.

He walked never tells, but he loved Ritterschild more than anyone else.

But if his telling walked, can he never such be wonder if it is was has from been?

He was very loyal, even when he knew that he was just a dog for the six courts of noble families.

Funny how being a soldier that serves under the direct supervision of the Court of Six makes you have to answer to them.

Madness, I say.

He never denies it, never even once.

At least he’s realistic about who his bosses are, I guess.

He remembered that day. Buchse lifted his head. It’s night. He kept walking quietly.

I remember dinner.  I put my headphones on.  Caleb Hyles is singing covers.  I keep typing.

*Snaps fingers*

I could really get into writing simple-sentence, typical-day poetry.

Nobody knows, but he kept a very big secret.

It turs out that Buchse was phone all along!

The secret of Ritterschild. He knew it’s useless, but he still kept his secret. He promised “For the seventh court of noble families.”

Not only does the OC have to be the special 109th Star of Destiny, but is also the heir to a secret seventh noble court!?  Sweet shit, we just hit the Sue Horizon and they haven’t even shown up in the damn fic yet!

A/N: no offense for the name of the castle and the hero please.

Uh, okay.  Other than the Hero’s name being kinda stupid sounding, I’m not really sure why I’d be offended by them.  Rune Castle is far from the worst I’ve seen in Suikoden, hell I’ve used worse in my playthroughs.

I’m bad at writing names :(

I don’t have much of a sample size, but I’ll admit that “Kiehl” is definitely not a great first impression.

this is my first fanfiction. R&R. tell me if you like it :D

*Gestures vaguely upward*

Did I like it?  No.  It was fairly insubstantial, the spelling and grammar were pretty bad, and it was gearing up to be a giant Sue-fest.  Luckily, you stopped it here, which is probably the fic’s one saving grace: it ended quickly before getting out of hand.

So… uh, yeah.  That was pretty brief so let’s hit another real quick!

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Title: i hate my life
Author: parsis
Media: Video Game
Topic: Suikoden
Genre: Humor/Adventure
URL: i hate my life
Critiqued by TacoMagic

*Taco looks at the title of the fic*

Everyone spool up your favorite fake edge song, we’re going i-

Wait, what’s that genre say again?

Humor

Oh, fucking hell.

To the summary!

responsibility, trouble, and formality is the things the prince hate the most however once you a prince this sort of problems is your daily ritual, how will the prince escape his fate? will he rescue falena from godwin or will he stay being cleric?

AHHHHHHHH! What the hell is that abomination!?

And yes, I’m pretty sure this is a troll fic.  I was actually going to skip riffing it, but I dunno, it has a charming John Freeman-ness about it.

Hmmm….. How do I say it?

I’m a helper!

From the moment I start speaking I didn’t really like responsibility, I hate trouble, I don’t really get formality either, because of this I’m got yell and troubles all the time since I’m a prince, and since I hate trouble I force myself to hit the books and learn sword fighting, I quickly master both so no one yell at my free care attitude again.

*Taco walks into the room wearing a plaid toga and pushes his suffocated corpse out of the chair before retaking it*

So it’s going to be one of those fics.

Other than that, I’m bemused at the implication that our Stu here mastered studying of all things.  Or possibly bookfu.

Now that I’m so ‘perfect’ and lazy at the same time, everyone starting to bad mouthing me,

Dude, preps gon flam.

 I don’t mind it but alas it got me into trouble again, since a royalty must always take good care of his image,

Dorian Gray would agree.

with rage fill my thought I go out and accidently defeat a sacred beast who go wild in town, then rumor about me being unbelievable evil when I grin devilish and laughing evil after defeated the sacred beast make people stop bad mouthing me, fear for their dear life.

Then John Royal said “I am not the bad guy” while he played guitar with his knife and the loved him, but they were sacred beast so he killed them with a kicking sword.

And when I think I could lived my life easily without people interruption, my mother, Falena beloved queen, gave me the task of unremitting ends,

Task of Unremitting Ends sounds like a quest you’d find in the third session of a D&D campaign.

I’m also tickled by the idea of incessant ending.  Like his mom just dumped him on the couch and made him watch the extended Lord of the Rings credits on repeat.

she want me to be loved by Falena citizens and hoping that the nobles could see my good side

Your mother wants people to like you?  Man, what a bitch.

 sometime she sent me as an ambassador to a foreign country, and sometime she sent me to help the poor as her representatives

You have to help the poor, too!?  Your mother is just the worst, dude.

I know that she worry about me but ‘responsibility’ is just another word I hate the most, plus this stupid tasks acquired ‘formality’ could it get even worse?

You know, there might be a valid reason why your subjects think you’re evil.  Just saying.

Apparently yes, Rage fill my thought again, walking strait to the audience room after finishing another task of mine, I give a piece of my mind to Falena most beloved queen and she counter me back with the sun rune,

Given that she counter-attacked, I can’t help but picture John Royal who is Falena Royals son literally throwing a piece of his brain at his mother.

 My father ferid yell at my unthinkable behavior

Cause he doesn’t have a brain now!  Gettit!?

the whole kingdom was in danger because I told the queen a piece of my mind,

You really think a whole kingdom would be in trouble because some of the royalty got into an argument?  You might want to use your mastery of studying to read up on some history, because that’s basically all the aristocracy does.

For god sake, was it my fate to be so miserable?

Perhaps, perhaps not.  But it does appear your fate involves being a spoiled jackass.

 Can’t I just live a life without responsibility, trouble, and formality?

If the rest of this fic is John Royal forsaking his birthright and becoming a hobo, I take back everything bad I said about it.

With me being prince of falena, and queen arshtat as my loving mother I doubt my dream will ever become a reality, my only choice is to disappear from everyone memory or make them think I’m death

No, no, not the reaper, a hobo.  You need a busted-out top hat and fingerless gloves, dude.

or kill my mother and make my sister queen so I could do whatever I like just like aunt sialeed.

Now that’s thinking like an aristocrat!  Though I hope that you aren’t intending to go full Caligula.

Aware of my overwhelming anger, my father finally decided to send me to my aunt haswar, the oracle of lunas, a sacred ground for falenan royal families.

“My kid’s got serious issues, have a good visit with him, sis!”

At least now I understand where John Royal gets his assholeishness from.

Living in lunas calm my anger for everyday all I do is relax, fishing, read books (become a habit after force myself to study), hunting, eating, take a warm bath, sleeping, mostly nothing but relaxation a haven indeed, I couldn’t agreed more, no wonder they called this place a sacred ground, no wonder aunt haswar never return to sol-falena, what a life!

Hmm.  John Augustus who was Tiberius Augustus’ brother?  Or wait, was that John Drusus?

*Pulls out Gordon Caesar’s guide to Roman Freeman.*

Huh, Agrippa “Next Boss” was a half-sister to Roman Freeman…

Maybe I should apply for the next oracle too, since marriage life is fill with responsibility and a troublesome too

You might want to give the monkhood a try, instead.  Once all the aristocrats started dumping their younger children into the monasteries, the life in some of them got pretty comfy.

Away from the outside word so much people starting to forget about me, and since I’m so happy and even sent letter about how I what to be the next oracle my parent had no choice but to let me be,

I’m not sure that’s how it works, but if John Royal said he wanted to be the oracle and wasn’t coming back, I’d wish him the best of luck with his new life, and then change all the locks.

and when I think I finally found my paradise… my haven, my dream, my oh so easy life is ruin after my sister held her ‘sacred game’ it’s a ritual that I have to participate too

Yeah, that’s one of those funny things about devout religious folk.  They have all these rituals and responsibilities and stuff.  Too late to back out now, Jerk, Lunas is locked from the outside so you’ll have to face the full life consequences of oracaling!

just for the opening thou but to be separated from my paradise for so long

Apparently the “Sacred Games” is an away series.

haaah I just had to bare with it, let’s just hope nothing bad will happen this time

*Taco effortlessly deflects the foreshadowing hammer* 

You can’t touch me, fic, I know for a fact that you end here so that foreshadowing isn’t going anywhere!

And with that, we come to the end of our little doubleshot venture back into the world of Suikoden.  Catch you all again next week for more zany one-shot fun!

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