112: Smurf of the Dead – Chapter Five

Title: Smurf of the Dead
Author: Antrodextorm
Media: Television
Topic: The Smurfs
Genre: Horror / Tragedy
URL: Smurf of the Dead – Chapter Five
Critiqued by Addicted Reader

[Warning:  Some serious gore below.  Skip if you have a weak stomach.]

Welcome back, dear readers, to the fifth and final (yay!) chapter of Smurf of the Dead.  For those who missed the previous episodes, here’s a recap:  The Smurf village has been overrun by zombie Smurfs intent on eating the remaining non-zombie Smurfs.  A group of about 15 non-zombie Smurfs, led by Papa Smurf, has escaped into the woods.  In order to facilitate this escape, a tall green Smurf named Chernov set off a massive explosion.  The author strongly implied that Chernov died in this explosion, but he was a pretty powerful Gary Stu, so I’m waiting to see if he turns up.

Oh, and the grammar is terrible.  The author changes tense at least once a sentence.  It hurts to read.

Let’s dive in, shall we?

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106: Smurf of the Dead – Chapter Four

Title: Smurf of the Dead
Author: Antrodextorm
Media: Television
Topic: The Smurfs
Genre: Horror / Tragedy
URL: Smurf of the Dead – Chapter Four
Critiqued by Addicted Reader

Welcome back the Smurf of the Dead, a painfully-written Smurfs fanfic in which there is a zombie virus infecting the Smurfs.  Here are the salient points of the previous 3 chapters just to get everyone caught up:

1.  We’re dealing with standard zombies here – a bite or scratch spreads the infection, and a shot to the head is the only way to kill them.

2.  Chernov is a tall, green, author-insertion, know-it-all, douchey hero Smurf.  His house contains technology way beyond what the rest of the Smurfs have.

3.  15 Smurfs are currently barricaded in Chernov’s house hiding from the zombie Smurfs.  Chernov went out with bitten-but-not-a-zombie-yet Hefty Smurf to look for suvivors.

4.  The grammar is so bad that it hurts to read the fic.

5.  That’s it.  Let’s get this over with.

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101: Smurf of the Dead – Chapter Three

Title: Smurf of the Dead
Author: Antrodextorm
Media: Television
Topic: The Smurfs
Genre: Horror / Tragedy
URL: Smurf of the Dead – Chapter Three
Critiqued by Addicted Reader

[Warning:  There is Smurf gore below, so if you’re easily sickened by that, you may want to skip this.]

Welcome back to our wonderfully well-written, wholesome, child-appropriate, fun, normal Smurfs fanfic.

Oh dear, I seem to have run out of adjectives.

Well, it’s wonderfully something, that’s for sure, but it’s nothing good.

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93: Smurf of the Dead – Chapter Two

Title: Smurf of the Dead
Author: Antrodextorm
Media: Television
Topic: The Smurfs
Genre: Horror / Tragedy
URL: Smurf of the Dead – Chapter Two
Critiqued by Addicted Reader

Welcome back to chapter 2 of “Smurf of the Dead,” where we will have to battle the mental images of both zombies and porn in Smurf form.  You may want to put up a pot of brain bleach now, so that it will be nice and hot when we get to needing it.

To remind you, we left off with Dabbler becoming very ill after being bitten by a grey-skinned Wild Smurf.  Dabbler has been in his house since, and things got very quiet that night.

Chapter 2 begins with Dabbler’s neighbor, non-canon, author-insertion, all-around skillful Smurf Chernov:

The next morning, Chernov woke up from his bed and yawned. He got up and head’s next door to check on Dabbler, since he is still concerned about him. “Dabbler?” asked Chernov as he knocks on Dabbler’s front door, “It’s me Chernov.”

The tenses!  Why can’t the author pick just one?

Deep breaths.

Ok, let’s move on.

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88: Smurf of the Dead – Chapter One

Title: Smurf of the Dead
Author: Antrodextorm
Media: Television
Topic: The Smurfs
Genre: Horror / Tragedy
URL: Smurf of the Dead – Chapter One
Critiqued by Addicted Reader

Hello, readers.  This is your faithful editor Addicted Reader taking a break from editing my fellow snarkers to give my red pen some serious exercise by snarking a fic all of my own.  Ghostie found this one and tagged it “fairly coherent, lots of word choice errors,” so I figure that since it’s based on a beloved cartoon from my childhood, it’s a good place for me to start.

[cue ominous music]

What?

Oh, nothing.

Let’s start with the summary:

Classic Zombie Smurfs are out and about. Can the Smurfs stop the virus awhile they still have a conscious? Or will they end up being dinner, or worse, one of them.

Let’s see.  We have conscious for conscience (I assume), the extra “a” in “while,” and we’re lacking a question mark.  Seems to live up to Ghostie’s description, and it’s not sending me into convulsions.  I think I can handle this!

[cue more ominous music]

Did you hear something?  No?  Good, me neither.  Let’s move on, shall we?

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