1161: Hammer Effect – Chapters 4 & 5

Title: Hammer Effect
Author: Kamzil118
Media: Video Games
Topic: Warhammer 40,000 (40k)/ Mass Effect
Genre: Adventure/Sci-fi
URL:  Chapter 4 & 5
Critiqued by Erttheking. 

Ert: Ugh. SCHOOOOOOOOL! This chapter will go up around my first day back. Hopefully there won’t be any slips with my posting, but hey, things happen sometimes.

Author’s Note: First of all, I should have notified everyone a long time ago. This is an AU.

Nora: You say that like it means something. And AU is not an excuse for you to ignore every little detail about both universes.

Since I am back, I can finally fuck up the Batarians once and for all in the best possible manner.

Cornelia: I hope you’re not expecting us to feel terribly satisfied about this. They didn’t pose any threat, came out of nowhere and really just serve as shallow one dimensional villains for your heroes to beat up. If you want your heroes to be entertaining, they need to struggle or have charm while they fight. They have neither.

Back Up

The Citadel

The Councilors watched through their cameras as the fighting was becoming fierce in the Kithoi Ward. They were pushing the Batarian’s out, but the Batarian numbers seemed to converge into their lines. “What is the status of the Kithoi Ward?” Asked Councilor Tevos, she was worried about the clash between C-Sec and the guardsmen. A Turian quickly responded.

Ert: If you have to ask someone to tell you, doesn’t watching it yourself become kind of pointless?

“Ma’am, these guys are holding off the Batarians in the ward, but we need air superiority if we are going to hold this ward. Shit, multiple hostile shuttles are being deployed somewhere close to their embassy. What are your orders?”

Nora: You know, there’s this thing called “Routing”. Contrary to what video games (Most of the time) teach you, people do not fight to the last man. If something happens to demoralize them (Say, a giant tank comes out of nowhere and starts massacring them) they will panic, break formation and flat out retreat. Attacking a place and discovering that the defensive forces were twice as big as you were expecting is a good way for your soldiers to loose morale, ESPECIALLY if they proceed to get their asses kicked.

“Make contact with the humans, we need to secure this ward at all costs.” Councilor Sparatus noticed the heavy fighting going around the embassy.

“I doubt they can hold the line any longer.”

Cornelia: Why? How many freaking troops did the Batarians bring? I would to remind you, there are 200,000 armed officers on the Citadel, I’d like to know how the Batarians got enough troops to fight them in a hundred ships, because I don’t think they could cram 2,000 people on each one. (Though to be fair, considering how most ME ships have rather small crews, it was never really established how you’re supposed to ferry massive amounts of troops from one location to another if you weren’t the Migrant Fleet. Ert has to pretty much skim over the logistics of it every time he writes)

The Batarian Flagship

Admiral Ghako Segbobar

Ert: *Tilts head* I know you want alien names to sound alien, but you gotta put a little more rhyme and reason into them,

heard confirmed reports of the humans being on the Citadel and it had troubled him to know that the humans were joining the fight against his forces. What made them problematic was the fact that they couldn’t grab any slaves from their race and they were being stubborn in their positions.

Nora: You know, this might come as a major shock, but Batarians care about other things besides slaves. This really pisses me off. Mass Effect fan fiction basically says “If you have four eyes, you’re an evil slaver” and only make Batarian characters when they want someone to kill. Yes, the Hegemony is basically space North Korea but people never really seem interested in writing non-villainous Batarians. Hell, there were plenty in the games. Kind of sad that InHarmsWay actually did it (Sloppily, but he did it) and go figure, EP didn’t copy him when he was stealing.

Luckily, he could find the head of their forces and order the rest of his soldiers to stand down. Soon an ensign came to him. “Sir, we have located their headquarters. What are your orders?”

“Send in a few teams, hopefully they will give up after we take their commander hostage.”

Cornelia: To be fair, losing your commander can be a major blow to morale, but…it takes more than that to demoralize the enemy when they’re in the middle of an overwhelming victory. Also how does you plan to do this? Kidnapping someone deep in enemy territory and getting him out alive I mean? Your plan?

The Embassy

General Siegfried began ordering his men to hold the line until the Inquisitor’s fleet arrives. Since they were the Death Korps of Krieg, this xeno was nothing when they were compared to the enemies of man.

Ert: I don’t see Kriegsmen sitting on their asses waiting for help. Now they would do it if eventually forced to, but an idle order from someone who regularly shits all over their ideals isn’t going to cut it.

These four-eyed xenos were foolish to think that the Death Korps would falter in their duty.

Nora: Yeah, they should know the combat doctrine of a race they just met. FOOL!

Farseer Lofn grabbed his attention when she stood next to him. “We are holding the line, that’s all we need to do.”

“Are you sure, mon-keigh?”

“I am sure about. An Inquisitor is never late.”

Cornelia: Somehow I doubt that.

Then the sound of a shuttle flew past the embassy windows, but an auto cannon team shot the shuttle down.

Ert: One sound of a shuttle down, I repeat, one sound of a shuttle down!

More followed the first one, but they stopped at the windows to deploy three squads of infantry. Quickly the Kriegsman in the HQ pulled out their las weapons

Nora: I’d love to know why their weapons were holstered in the middle of an invasion.

and fired on them with ease as they found their cover. Soon another window near the general, was blown open and Siegfried pulled out his las pistol as Farseer Lofn took cover behind a column. Three batarians were closing on the general, but Siegfried fired his las pistol and killed them with ease as the mass effect rounds shrugged off his chestplate.

Ert: No. No. No. Fuck you. No. The Imperium of man has the advantage over the Council in many ways, but the armor for rank and file soldiers is pretty pathetic. Even carapace armor, the best thing short of power armor, can’t even stop modern day pistols 100% of the time. It will most of the time, but not always. And the super advanced Mass Effect guns? No. They are penetrating carapace armor at least half the time, probably more. You can’t make the Imperium invincible in every field because HUMANITY FUCK YEAH!

‘Pathetic xenos.’ Then Farseer Lofn’s banshees charged forth, the Batarians didn’t expect the staff to be this heavily equipped to fight.

Nora: DUHHHHHH! Why place with important person guarded?

The five killed six Batarians, but a wounded one grabbed one of them and yelled out at the others. There was only five left, since the staff killed the rest with their weapons.

Ert: You know, you can’t just grab whomever you please because the narration says it happened. There tends to be a struggle.

“Don’t even think about it.” He pulled out his sidearm and held it at the banshee’s neck. “Lay down your arms and maybe I’ll let her live… to become a slave.”

Cornelia: Even when cornered and about to be killed, Batarians can’t take their minds off of slaves. Did EP write this?

Farseer Lofn didn’t say anything as the other banshee stood there, helpless to know that she couldn’t help her partner.

Nora: Due to plot induced stupidity.

General Siegfried noticed the Farseer tense up as they watched the Batarian hold her with a disgusting mood. “Damn, you human girls know how to have the tits.”

Cornelia:…Are we SURE EP didn’t write this?

That sentence enough pissed the Banshee off. She smacked her head into his and grabbed her shuriken pistol from her side, killing the Batarian. The staff had fired on the rest of the aliens and General Siegfried halted them when they ‘wounded’ the last Batarian. He smiled.

Ert: Looks not. Give this author credit, at least the women can do something other than look pretty.

Nora: Technically EP’s did.

Ert: They can do something before the protagonist shows up and is magically better at everything they do.

Nora: Fair enough.

“What are you going to do, huh? You think you can get information out of me?” Then the General spoke.

“I can’t, but she can.” Gesturing Lofn to use her psyker abilities. She quickly entered the mind of this alien and began to search for information pertaining to the situation at hand. This guy was only paid to join the Batarian Hegemony in it’s attack against the citadel,

Ert: I’d like to know why such an important mission would be entrusted to a mercenary.  You’d think they’d want a professional on that.

but he knew that his orders were to attack the HQ of the Humans. She began looking for someone who ordered him here. Then it went to one Batarian that gave him these orders, Admiral Ghako Segbobar. She looked at the general.

“General, I have the information.” Siegfried nodded to his staff, who quickly killed the Batarian with extreme prejudice.

Nora: A quick google search revealed that “Terminate with extreme prejudice” is generally understood to be an order for an assassination mission. So it doesn’t really fit here.

Ert:  Author!  Don’t just throw in whatever random words sound kinda cool!  Pick words that fit!

“If he sends one team then we have to expect another.”

“No, he wishes to make a profit out of our kind and your race. However, the only obstacle in his way is human stubbornness.”

Cornelia: I think the laser rifles, massive amount of soldiers and giant tanks might be playing a role too. Throwing it out there.

“Good to know, I’ll inform my men about that.”

Ert: Men! Keep being stubborn!

Frontlines

Through the vox channels, the guardsmen heard the voice of their general speak. “Men of Krieg, the xeno desires to enslave us all and sell us for profit, but that will not happen. You all have made your choice to the Emperor when you joined the ranks of the Death Korps and that choice will remain that way unless you falter towards their desires. I ask of you not to just hold the line, but to show no mercy. If they dare to take us out of our ranks for a quick profit so be it, but they will pay for it with their lives.”

Nora: Quick bit of advice. Telling your soldiers that the enemy plans to enslave them isn’t good for morale.

Ert: Not that it matters. Kriegsman don’t follow the circumstances around routing that I brought up earlier. So a speech to get their spirits up is kind of pointless. Not to mention I don’t know why the fact that they could be possibly enslaved was something that was so important for the rank and file to know.

With these very words spoken, the Batarians began to attack the Kriegsmen in one assault that would break their lines.

Cornelia: I thought Lt. Stu wanted them to just hold their positions. See, this is what happens when someone who has no value for Krieg combat doctrine is put in charge of an army of people who live and breath it.

In the courts and halls there could only be silence,

Ert: Whatever that means.

but that would soon stop when the Batarians began their push. At some point Kriegsmen would ready their lasguns over the sandbag walls and wait, until the xeno forces reached a certain range. Then the heavy bolter weapons began to fire, followed by the accurate volleys of laser weaponry.

Cornelia: Uh…the Kriegsmen charged, and then the Batarians pushed, but the Kriegsmen pointed their lasguns over their sandbags…because their charge left them in easy sprinting distance from their bags and…ugh.

The Batarian Flagship

Admiral Segbobar began to hear responses of his men scream for help as casualties soared beyond his imagination. He thought they were lucky to even put up a fight at first, but that changed. “Ensign, how many slaves have we captured?” The ensign next to him spoke.

Nora: SLAVES!? Oh shut the fuck up.

“Admiral, we have at least twelve thousand ready for profit.”

“Damn it, can we get anymore?”

Ert: FUCK WHAT!? You managed to get 12,000 fucking slaves? While constantly fighting enemy forces? How the hell are you constantly transporting them off of the battlefield? I just…fuck’s sake. And ready for profit? Pick your words a wee bit more wisely author.

“It is possible, but with this new race dealing with our ground forces and C-Sec holding the rest of the population. It is highly unlikely.”

“Get them onto the transports, it is time to leave.” Soon a navigational officer began to inform him.

Cornelia: So they weren’t even on transports? Uh…buddy. Moving 12,000 people to ships? It kind of takes awhile.

“Sir, we have multiple anomalies appearing on our radar.”

“Give me a visual.” The CIC room began to display a screen showing these large ships appearing on screen. “What the fuck is this?”

“Sir, these ships have no Element Zero.” Then he began to alarm the Admiral about this new threat. “Shit, anomalies have begun to power up.”

Nora: Of course they show up the exact second that the Batarians were about to leave. It allows them to talk about what evil slavers they are (Considering that the Imperium has entire planets dedicated to slave labor and some sources state that their ships have serfs manually lifting heavy multi-ton ammunition with chains because automatic systems are more expensive, it feels hypocritical to have the Imperium as the good guys fighting evil slavers.) without the Imperium looking like the bad guys for killing the slaves that were captured.

“Are they engines?”

Ert: What kind of a stupid fucking question is that?

Soon one of the ships began to fire. Admiral Segbobar watched a fraction of his fleet get wiped out in one single blast. Luckily, his dreadnoughts were still alive. “Evasive maneuvers! If you have any breathing room, return fire!” The Batarian ships began to displace from their stationary positions. Few more shots came from these giants and it slowly broke his fleet apart. “All elements, grab as many slaves as you can! We’re leaving!”

Cornelia: It was an attack on the capital of the galatic community, but taking slaves back is the only thing that matters? I just…just because your character is a bad guy, doesn’t mean that they should just have “Evil” be their only defining trait. Assholes are people too, have them act like humans.

Vox Channels

Ert; HOW ARE FUCKING RADIO CHANNELS A LOCATION!?

“Inquisitor, you came on time.”

“On time? You expected my arrival?”

“Sooner or later you would show up.

Nora: Sooner or later = on time. BRILLIANT!

I ‘interrogated’ another xeno who attacked my command center, again. He said that their Admiral was on this one ship. I’ll have a magos send you the target.”

Ert: One of the two really big ones. Oh gee, what invaluable information.

“What are you trying to do, general?”

“I want the xeno forces to remember the mistake they made to the Imperium. Eliminate their leader.” She smiled behind the vox channel.

“Of course, the xeno must suffer for his actions.”

Cornelia: What’s wrong with just killing all of them?  After that masturbatory showing of how massive humanity’s fleet is and with them being in-between the Batarians and their escape route, why do you need to find out where the Batarian commander is when you can just blow up the entire fleet?

Terra’s Faithful

“Black Templars of the Adeptus Astartes, I wish of you to search and destroy the head of this command.

Cornelia: Can’t we just blow it up?

Nora: NO!

Cornelia: Ok…come battle brothers. We must find this command and where it keeps its head.

The xeno has dared to attack the Emperor’s finest and we shall reply with their blood.” Then a response from one of the space marine captains spoke.

“No pity, no remorse, no mercy.” Soon the vox channels closed before she watched these puny ships return fire with their mass effect weaponry. She heard a naval combat officer speak.

“Deploy void shields!” Then followed by a response of another who understood his order.

“Deploying void shields!” When the slugs were about to impact, the void shields displaced them somewhere that the Emperor knew. Luckily for the other ships, they had void shields as well.

Ert: Deploy void shields = deploy void shields. Glad it was so important that it be clarified that the sailor could understand basic instructions. Also that’s not how void shields work. They absorb and displace ENERGY WEAPONS!

Batarian Flagship

“What the hell? Someone give me a sitrep, now!” For once the ensign was unsure of his situation.

“I don’t know sir, our rounds didn’t make it. It looks like they just… disappeared.”

“Disappeared.” He grabbed the ensign’s collar.

“How can our rounds disappear?”

“I don’t know sir?” Then they heard a thump on the hull of the ship. An officer could recognize what was going on.

Cornelia: Well that was a great big load of pointless.

“Boarders! They’re trying to breach our hull.” Soon the crew began to arm themselves with M-15 Vindicators. As much as they were prepared, they didn’t know where they could come from. Until they saw the top of their hull being cut open by a some kind of cutter.

Nora: Can I just say that this seems REALLY below the Black Templars? I mean the story hasn’t depicted a single Imperium soldier dying, not sure why regular human borders aren’t taking care of this while the Black Templars do something useful. Like, I don’t know, tracking down the Tyranids?

“They’re above us! Oxygen masks on!” The crew began to deploy their equipment and watched the very large circular shape be formed. The small shaped was pushed into the room a before this large black monster with a sword and shield step into their territory. The Admiral began to run towards his cabin as the fighting reached it’s maximum

Cornelia: The fighting reached its maximum? It hasn’t even started yet! Think about what your words MEAN!

“Die xeno scum.” He raised his sword and with one strike, he killed three Batarians.

Ert: No. Fuck you. People don’t just stand in convenient triple kill positions.

The rest began to fire upon him, but they were terrified when they saw three more enter the room screaming, “For the Emperor!” A communications officer was held by one of their hands as his Bolter steadily aimed. “Where is your Admiral?” The Batarian didn’t know what to say.

“He… he just went to his cabin.”

Nora: The Batarian didn’t know what to say. Then says something. I’m starting to think that the author didn’t really care if none of his sentences mashed up so long as they sounded cool.

“Relay this message back to the rest of your fleet.”

“What message?”

“Us.”

Cornelia: Uh, ok. Attention fleet…us…that is all.

He turned around as they walked into the Admiral’s quarters. He could hear gunfire from the Admiral’s room and then the scream of of a dying Batarian. They returned with blood on their swords and they climbed back out of the ship.

Ert: He apparently multiplied while in that room.

He jumped up and began to warn the rest of the remaining fleet. The Black Templars on the other hand spoke on their vox channels. “Inquisitor, the xeno has been terminated.”

Nora: Now can we do something important?

The Space Battle

Ert:  To use a line that another Liberian once said, I think the author thinks with a camera and not a typewriter.

All the Batarian ships attempted to do damage to the Imperials, but the rounds did very little to break the void shields. Then they heard their communication be open and speak to the rest of the fleet. “This is the communications officer of the Admiral’s ship. Return to the Hegemony. Requesting assistance for remnant crew members.”

Cornelia: See, this is why you be more specific with your commands to send a transmission when the message is “Us.”

The Batarian ships began to take a few more shots from Imperial fleet. However, they noticed the unknown ships returning back to their lines. Then the fleet was quickly fired upon by a wave of cannons and fighters destroying any transport shuttles returning from the Citadel.

Ert: Ok, thousands of captured civilians are dead. Starting to wonder if the Imperium is supposed to be saviors or not, the story can’t make up its mind.

The Imperial ships began to fire all their cannons at the fleet with ease as the Fleet Carrier began to deploy fighters and bombers to support the ground forces. Soon they were followed by troop transports holding Inquisitorial Storm Troopers.

Cornelia: Yes, we get it, the Imperium is better than anyone.

Destiny Ascension

“What in the Goddess’s name just happened?” Said the captain of the Citadel Flagship. Her ensign began to respond.

“I don’t know ma’am, but we just watched ninety percent of the Batarian ships get wiped out.”

Nora: We aren’t main characters so we weren’t allowed to do shit.

“Someone get me a sitrep on those unknown ships!” Then the ensign began to respond.

“Ma’am, Councilor Tevos is wishing your attention.”

“Put her on visuals.” Then a screen was displayed with the council and their C-Sec bodyguards.

“Commander, do not engage unknown ships. They’re human.”

Ert: Copy that ma’am. All unknown ships in existence are human. Understood.

“Human? By the Goddess, you mean those ships.”

“Yes, I want you to assist them in recovering the Citadel.”

“Understood ma’am.”

Cornelia: I fail to see what that scene added. Is there any reason this story can’t stop jumping around for five seconds?

The Safe Room

The council was shocked, they just witnessed most of the Batarian fleet get annihilated while they couldn’t believe the size of their ships. “How did they manage to bring in a fleet like that?” Questioned Sparatus. “That has to be their home fleet.” Valern speculated.

Ert: Do we really needed another reaction to how awesome humanity is ten seconds after the last one? I swear, some authors are more interested in giving their favorite factions oral then they are writing a story.

“Can’t be, with such firepower, they could explore with ease and respond to threats.”

Nora:…What does THAT mean?

“Still, we can’t have a fleet that size running around in the galaxy.” Then Garrus began to inform the councilor with his omni-tool.

Cornelia: Why does Garrus, a lowly C-Sec officer, have direct contact with the Council?

“Councilor Sparatus, we have multiple reports of Batarian forces laying down their arms.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, but we still have resistance with the Batarians in the Tayseri Ward.”

“Do we have anyone there?”

“Hardly, most of the C-Sec officers are trying to prevent any civilians from getting into the hands of the Batarians.”

Ert: I fail to see what the number of the C-Sec officers there has to do with what C-Sec officers are trying to do in regards to keeping civilians safe.

“Understood, I’ll get support to assist.” Then Tevos spoke.

“You think we can give them support, we barely have any assets on standby. Unless… we can ask the humans for help.”

Nora: The entire Citadel doesn’t have anything? Ugh. I sense more sucking of human cock incoming.

“Help, Help? What can they do to help us?”

“We should ask?”

“Ask them for help, you must be mad.”

“Yes, but this is a chance to see what they are capable of.

Cornelia: I guess the battle before didn’t count?

We already seen their weaponry. So this is a good time to see what their forces consist of.” Then she began to send a message towards one of their ships. Soon a display of the Inquisitor Adratia grabbed their attention.

Ert: What their forces consist of, because I magically know that there’s more to it than what we already saw because the plot fairy visited me.

“What are you messaging me for, councilor?”

“We are asking for your assistance. We have a ward that still holds Batarian assistance; however, we don’t have any assets available to engage them.”

“You wish for my help.”

Nora: Did she fucking stutter?

“Yes, we could be grateful if you did.”

“Let me solve your problem.”

“Here are the coordinates of their location.”

Cornelia: So much daybook writing. It’s so freaking boring.

Terra’s Faithful

“I know the Adeptes Astartes have the hate for xeno,

Ert: Yeah, the incredibly varied Space Marines are all the same.  Space Wolves are just like White Scars.

Marshall. However, our stormtroopers would be a waste and using your Templars would be a waste.” The Marshall spoke into the vox channels.

Nora: You already used them, why is it a problem now?

“Well we do have an Angry Marine ready.”

Ert:…..Go fuck yourself. No, go fuck yourself. You cannot ask us to take this story anywhere near seriously and then throw in the fucking ANGRY MARINES! That joke chapter that 4chan made up? The people who constantly swear and are, and I quote “Always angry, all the time?” No. Get the fuck out of my sight.

“Drug him and transport him to the designated area.”

“Yes, Inquisitor.”

Citadel

The Batarian ground forces commander didn’t know what to do. They just lost the fleet and he was stuck on the Citadel. What was he going to do.

Nora: Call me crazy, but I don’t think he knows what he’s going to do. Hey Herr? You’re not alone in having to deal with repetitive dumb asses who think their audience is made of goldfish.

Suddenly a pod landed in the middle of his group and they saw this yellow armored man chained to the insides of the drop pod. He looked drowsy and over time they began to laugh in his state. “What is the council trying to do? Kill us with a drugged guy. I swear, they must be smoking that red dust.”

Ert: Red Dust is only used by biotics, but I guess the author is more interested in name dropping the only Mass Effect drug he can remember.

Soon the man had returned to his state and looked around and saw all these four-eyed aliens laughing at him. Then he looked to see his objectives come online and tell him to kill only the four-eyed bastards. Over time, his rage began to kick in and he began to pull himself out and began to break the chains.

Cornelia: Ok, let me try and figure this out. They drugged the Angry Marine and chained him up before deploying him. Assuming that this means that Angry Marines are too out of control to deploy without drugs, how were they transporting him if he clearly wasn’t drugged until recently? And if his anger can just cancel the effects of the drug, what’s the point of drugging him considering Angry Marines are “Always angry, all the time”? Does it require something specific for him to be angry about? If that’s the case, was the Imperium just crossing their fingers that the Batarians would laugh at him despite their dire situation? This just makes no freaking sense. Not to mention that the idea of chaining up Space Marines kind of makes me think of darker moments in the 40k universe. Like when Blood Angels go crazy with the Black Death and have to be chained up like animals and herded into combat.  Doesn’t really mesh with the over the top Angry Marines.

“I’M GOING TO TEAR YOU FUCKERS APART!” The laughter of the Batarians quickly changed to screams of terror. One-by-one, the Batarians were getting torn apart by the hands of the Angry Marine. Pissed off by their mockery,

Nora: He was angry at being laughed at? Gee. I never could have guessed.

Ert: And for a so called Angry Marine, like the Emperor before, his swearing is rather tame and boring. This is what I meant when I said that if this story was meant to be crack, it’s very bad crack.

he began to hunt everyone of these bastards down to the last man As he ran past a shop to chase a platoon of Batarians, two Turians and an Asari C-Sec officer watched the Angry Marine running after them from a second story window. They were shocked and one of them spoke.

“What the fuck did this new race just deploy?”

Cornelia: Sheer concentrated stupidity. Also you three are probably dead because I don’t see Angry Marines being the type to try and avoid friendly fire scenarios, especially with xenos. But whatever, the Imperium has killed thousands if not tens of thousands of civilians by this point and the story isn’t admitting it, what’s a few more?

Back on Holy Terra (Not so Holy, decreed by the Emperor)

Nora: Yeah, this guy’s approach to the Emperor making the Imperium secular is rather shallow. He just says it is.

Flashback

The Fabricator-General was about to go on a journey that would be considered technoheresy among the others; however, this was necessary for him to do. He had the schematics based off of the Iron Men, but it’s purpose was different. It was meant to act as a secondary plan if the Omnissiah’s Throne wasn’t recovering from it’s slow process of decay.

Ert: *Smashes face into desk* The Iron Men were robot soldiers that Humanity used during the Dark Age of Technology. They did the whole robot rebellion thing and knowledge about how to make them was destroyed over the years and A.I.s are considered abominable as a result. So the author’s explanation as to how the Imperium got their hands on highly advanced and lost technology that allowed them to bring the Emperor back is…they just had it. Brilliant. Fucking brilliant. So how long has the Frabricator-General been sitting on this?

He entered the throne room and noticed it to be empty since it was closing hours.

Nora: Closing hours in the most holy place in the Imperium. Do I need to talk about how dumb that is?

The only people who were allowed were the Adeptus Mechanicus, since the Throne was decaying over time.

Cornelia: So what’s the connection?

He pulled out the schematics and began to ask for resources that were needed. In one night he made the Iron skeleton from the age old schematics and desired the Emperor’s armor to be attached.

Ert: One night. ONE! NIGHT! He made forbidden technology, on his own, with no resources, in ONE NIGHT!

Then he began to transfer the mind of the Omnissiah into it’s new form. He felt happy that the schematics developed by previous Fabricator-Generals had worked. When the body had shown signs of life, he began to alert the rest of the High Lords of Terra of the new turn of events.

Nora: Transfer the mind to its new body, because he can do that without the Emperor’s bodyguards murdering him. Also, you do realize with the Emperor off of the Golden Throne, hundreds of millions of people have probably already died because they can’t use FTL? This author thinks nothing through.

The Safe Room

The Council was shocked to see this ‘asset’ annihilate the Batarian forces with only anger.

Ert: Uh, pretty sure he used his fists too.

Councilor Valern didn’t have the words to say anything, until now. “This has to be a joke… what kind of asset is this?” Then Tevos spoke as she stared into the camera’s.

Cornelia: Trust me, we wish it was a joke.

“I don’t know, but it’s somehow effective.” They all flinched when they saw a Batarian get thrown across a hallway.

The Citadel

Nora: I think the author needs some fucking Ritalin.

General Siegfried was relieved when he saw Inquisitorial Stormtroopers being dropped by the transports followed by the Inquisitor herself and Farseer Lofn joined him when she gave a nod to the general. “General Siegfried.” She turned to the Eldar, “Farseer Lofn, it would seem that you two have survived the onslaught of the xeno.

Ert: Oh we have? I didn’t notice.

“Yes ma’am, but I wouldn’t have done it without any support.” She turned the Farseer.

“Farseer, I believe that this is the time to leave and return to your craftworld.”

“My banshees will be transported back to their respectable places. However, I wish to stay.”

“Why?”

“I wish to be here since I could be more use here than argue with the seer council.”

Cornelia: There is no real reason for this Farseer to be here. She doesn’t do anything, she has no mission to accomplish, the Imperium gains nothing from this, it’s basically the author going “I wanna”. Which in reality is kind of what the Farseer basically gives for a reason to say.

“You actually want to help us.”

“Yes, but there is future that requires me and the General.”

“Eldar, you want to help me?” Questioned General Siegfried.

“Are you sure you are in the right mind?” Asked the Inquisitor.

Nora: Yes, the Stu is speshul and must be protected. No ding because we technically already got it…still annoying.

“Of course I am, it’s the future that I am worried about. It somehow is connected to me.” The inquisitor stared at her as a squad of Inquisitorial Stormtroopers followed her.

“Troopers, escort the Farseer’s Banshee’s back to their Craftworld.”

Ert: That’s right, escort her back to the Craftworld whose location is a mystery to us!

The Eldar bodyguards were quickly lead to a transport that would leave their Farseer under the security of their enemy. “Also, get me the 32nd Cadian Shock Troopers. Someone has to guard our embassy.”

Cornelia: Your embassy WAS guarded! It even had sandbags for some reason!

She turned to look at the Farseer and the General. “Eldar of Ulthwe, if this is some sort of way to manipulate us I will personally strike you down in the deepest darkest part of the galaxy.”

Nora: So please position yourself in the deepest darkest part of the galaxy if you do betray us. Seriously author. Your words sound pretty, but they mean nothing.

“I will head your warning.” Then there was a small pause, “Good thing I am here, you have seem to have forgotten about the Tyranids.” The Inquisitor gave Lofn a cold stare before she began to return to her ship in the next transport returning for another run.

Ert: You know Inquisitor, she’s right. You’ve been doing nothing about those things, and they tend to swell in number when left to their own devices.

General Siegfried and Farseer Lofn looked at each other. ” There will be an event that will come. I don’t know when it will happen, but it will happen.”

“I hope it doesn’t involve politics. It’s a pain in the ass to deal with.”

Author’s Note: Well here is another chapter of the 40K Universe raising hell. I did that flashback to explain to someone, on how the Emperor was back together.

Cornelia: One, the whining about politics isn’t enduring. Two, like we said before, just having people win fights with no stakes or chance of defeat isn’t fun. Three, that explanation raised more questions than it answered.

Author’s Note: I see that I have some Commissars who bluntly say that this story is worth shit due to the dialogue while I actually have some Commissars who say that this has potential, but needs improvement or is best in a certain category which I understand. So after this chapter, I will do a bit of rewriting to help the survival of the story.

Nora: Well that’s a terrifying thought. That this is the improved version of the story.

Also, that scene with General Siegfried eating xeno food is getting to me since I look at it and realize that it was terrible mistake for me to do that. Still today, I am wondering how the fuck I made that decision.

Trading Information

The Citadel

General Siegfried watched the Cadian troops march towards the embassy as his men were stepping into their transports. Inquisitor Adrastia had left the Krieg general with three Emperor-Class battleships that have been recently been constructed by the Adeptus Mechanicus

Ert: Yeah sure, the massive battleships that take years to make were finished recently and all at the same time. Why the fuck not?

and his new objective was to find this threat and eliminate it before it ends up like some unwatched ork army that some idiot had decided to turn a blind eye to. He could hear footsteps come close and he turned to see Farseer Lofn standing in front of him. “Farseer.”

Ert: What threat is that? The Tyranids? The Batarians? Don’t play the fucking pronoun game with me!

“General.”

“Farseer, tell me how long this event will take because I don’t have that kind of patience.”

Cornelia: The longer this story goes on, the more unqualified for this mission Lt. Stu seems.

“I sense that there will soon be a place where we must go to, in order to start our objective. However, it requires another.”

“Requires another?” He nodded in disbelief. “I knew it would be foolish to ask you that question, you would speak to me as if I am asking five different answers.”

Ert: What the fuck does THAT mean!? In fact, what the fuck does what the Farseer said mean? What does ANYTHING mean in this crock of shit?

“It’s not my fault that your kind is primitive.”

“I’m not going to argue with you on THAT subject, it’s the worst time to do that.” Soon they heard another pair of footsteps come forward. They turned to see an Asari C-Sec officer stand in front of them.

Nora: Bland uninteresting dialogue, engage!

“Excuse me, are you the general of your forces?” She asked.

“Yes, yes I am.”

“I am ordered by the Council to bring you to the presidium.”

“Give me a few minutes.”

“Sir, I need you at the presidium this instance.”

“Just go, I’ll be there in a few moments.” Soon Farseer Lofn looked at him while the Asari had left the two. “What?”

“You require your aide, don’t you.”

“Not really, I just have an odd feeling about her.”

“I do as well, it seems that these lesser races want to know more about us.”

“I would do the same, after all they just witnessed a fleet of humanity wipe out a fleet within an hour.”

“I should come.”

“No, that would raise questions.”

“Are you sure, I doubt you would be able to handle the situation. You are not a politician or an important figure.”

“I can handle the situation, I don’t need your help.”

“Actually you do, the problem is the way you see other races.”

“My attitude towards other races? My only attitude is this. The good xeno is a dead xeno, that includes you.”

“That reason alone is why I must come, someone must guide you through.”

“And that person is you? You must be crazy.”

“I have asked help from your space marines, I think guiding a human through a meeting will not be hard as that.”

“If you dare to manipulate me, I will kill you.”

“You humans keep saying that, when you need our help.”

“I am a Kriegsman, I don’t give a frak if your help will benefit me.”

“Yet, you are lying through your teeth.”

“Okay, I’ll let you help me this once and then that is over.” When he and the Farseer walked towards the presidium, he mumbled.

“I heard that.”

“One of these days, someone is going to kill you just for being around.” She smiled knowing that his human was giving her empty threats.

Ert: Wow. That was REALLY fucking boring! Author, you’re allowed to make it feel like your characters have a soul. You’re also allowed to make your dialogue be better than back and forth bickering with only one sentence per person and recycling the same boring conflict that’s been in place between the Farseer and Lt. Stu since day one. Speaking of which, Lt. Stu’s only personality traits seem to be what an idiot he is who just doesn’t want to think anything through and seems to be determined that he stand out from the crowd as a special snowflake, determined to make everyone hate him because it makes him feel unique.

The Presidium

The two entered the room once more, with camera’s floating around while important figures of each government came to see them from their balcony. The two stood in the center of attention before Councilor Tevos spoke. “Everyone of the Citadel, today is a momentous day. We have faced the onslaught of the Batarian Hegemony and during our battle against the Batarians, we have made allies.” She looked to see the general’s mask. “I do not know if you want to join the council, but we are grateful that you have taken part in the defense of the Citadel.”

“I only joined the fight, because they dared to attack us in the first place. That is all.”

Nora: Yeah, I mean did you see how many of your people we killed without giving a shit? Honestly I think we might have even killed more than the Batarians did.

“Even so, you have provided support for us when the Citadel needed it the most.” Then she looked to the Turian Councilor.

“First of business, we are here to talk about the size of your forces. Since you are in Citadel space, it is unnecessary to have ships of such magnitude to be deployed on foreign space.”

“Speak your reasoning, it will help.” Lofn whispered into his mind.

“Forgive me councilor, but the size of our ships is not of your concern.”

Nora: Stop judging us for having super powerful ships that can kill you all in the blink of an eye! You’re just jealous you’re not as superior as we are!

“Not of our concern, you have ships that are more than capable of destroying the Citadel. You do want peace do you.” Stated the Councilor.

“To some of the naval officers, they believe that in order to have peace. One must have the superior firepower.

Ert: How very American. “Someone needs to be strong and more powerful than everyone else for there to be peace…oh and it needs to be me obviously. So just don’t piss me off and we’ll have peace. :D”

Besides that, our enemies have similar ships so we must have our own.” General Siegfried was lying about building ships to respond to enemy Chaos ships, because they were the same. It’s just that the Chaos ships have more altars concerning to their gods. The Salarian Councilor decided to speak.

Cornelia: Where you paying attention? They don’t care about the size of your ships. They care about you having said ships in their territory. Which is a very legitimate concern.

“Councilor Sparatus, I believe it would be best to know about this race not through it’s military might, but through it’s history. We shall start first.” Soon General Siegfried and Farseer Lofn learned about the history of the Citadel council, how it was first formed by the Asari and the Salarians who brought the Turians to act as the bulk of it’s armed forces, the Volus and their bankers, the Elcor, Quarians, Hanar, and the Batarians. They spoke of the Rachni war and how they had to kill them with the Krogans who had quickly rebelled due to their numbers. They spoke of the Genophage and how it slowed their numbers back down. They spoke about how the Batarians and the Quarians were excluded from the council due to their ignorance. “That general is the whole history of the Citadel Council. It is now your turn to speak of your history.”

Ert: In an actually interesting story, during a culture swap we would get to see how people react to the foreign culture, as to build their character and the relationship that they have with the people they’re meeting. In here we just get a summary. I guess it got in the way of the Imperium kicking ass so the author wanted it out. Also it got in the way of him writing quirky

“Of course.” Soon the Races of the Citadel Council heard humanity’s history through network channels that showed live footage of him speaking about how mankind was at it’s peak before the war against the Iron Men, the Dark Age of Technology, and the Age of Strife. Then it continued with the Emperor of Mankind, who had came to retake the lost worlds of humanity and bring their race out of ignorance. He spoke about the Horus Heresy and how the Emperor’s son had betrayed him. However, it did not ed there. He continued to talk about the threats that came from the Orks, Necrons, the Tau Empire, the forces of Chaos, the Tyranids, and the Eldar.

Nora: And another bloody summary. Really, summarizing tells me something. It tells me that the author thought that nothing worthwhile could come of it. If that’s the case, why did you even bother including it? If something does come of it, why didn’t you give it more time and attention?

“Interesting, why have you not spoke to these people for peace.”

“Peace?”

“Yes, why not speak to them.”

“Councilor, the Orks only live to wage war, the heretics of Chaos cannot live due to their insanity and lack of faith in the Emperor, the Tyranids only consume, and the Necrons come from their tomb worlds to bring only death.”

Cornelia: If he had to spell that out for them, I take it that Lt. Stu did a poor job of explaining what Orks, Chaos, Tyranids and Necrons are. I’m guessing the summary we got is the extent of what he told the Council. Also I thought Lt. Stu believed the Emperor wasn’t a god, how come he wants to kill Chaos for not worshiping him? I guess making your character special comes at the expense of having him make sense.

“What about the other two? Surely they can be reasoned with.”

“The Tau believe that everyone is equal under their caste system and everyone must be ‘enlightened’ to their Greater Good.”

Nora: Yeah, because the Imperium never tried to force their beliefs on anyone

“How are they not reasonable?”

“Humanity and the Eldar can agree that they are the youngest race that believes that they have the wisdom for everyone when they don’t. Even if they seem like they are a reasonable race, a battlegroup is expected for those who refuse.”

Nora: Unlike us. We don’t pretend to be a reasonable race and we just kill all alien races instead of annexing them.

“Interesting, what about the Eldar?”

“The Eldar are the oldest race that can manipulate other races to fight for them without anyone’s knowledge.”

Ert: You wanted to say “will” not “can”. The “can” makes it sound like they haven’t done it and you’re angry that you’re not top dog.

“How old is this race?”

“A lifespan of an Eldar is older than the civilization of your people.” Said Farseer Lofn, who stepped forward to greet the councilors. Gasps could be heard from Salarians, Asari, and Turians who said that they were older than the lifespan of the Asari.

“You, you are an Eldar.” Asked Councilor Sparatus. “General, you withheld this information from us. Why did you do this and why are you working with an enemy of your state?”

“Because there are a few occasions when we have a common enemy.” Stated the General.

Nora: Always answer with vagueness so you can pad out your incredibly boring story. Best way to make it seem like something important is actually happening.

“Who are we speaking to?” Questioned Tevos. “Is she someone important?”

“I believe you have more right to introduce yourself, Eldar.” Then Farseer Lofn spoke.

“I am Farseer Lofn of Craftworld Ulthwe.”

“Is the ‘Farseer’ title a bit over the top.” She asked. Questioning this new race.

Cornelia: Why are you asking her? Do you want her opinion if she thinks that her own title is over the top? What’s the point of a question like that? Or did the author use the wrong word for the umpteenth time.

“Councilor, the title is there for a reason.” Said the General.

“Oh, she can tell the future since she is a Farseer.” Stated Councilor Sparatus statistically.

Ert: How the fuck did you figure that out? For all you knew she was called a Farseer because she could SEE FAR!

“The Eldar can do that since they have more years of experience as a psyker.” Then eyes went wide for the council.

“What is a psyker? Is it some sort of form of biotics?” Questioned Valern.

“What is a biotic?” He asked.

“A biotic is someone who is exposed to Element Zero and has the abilities to control dark energy.”

Nora: Oh god, the story has ground to a complete fucking halt in exchange for boring exposition. This could be interesting as both sides compare their worlds and even react to it, allowing their personalities to show through, but as no one in this story has a personality with any depth, we just get dry boring exposition. Fun.

“Then Farseer Lofn doesn’t fit in that category.” He turned to see her. “I believe she can explain such specialization much better than I.”

“A psyker is someone who can draw their power from an alternate realm called the Immaterium, the source of all psychic energy in the universe.”

“An alternate realm?” Questioned Sparatus. “You must be delusional to believe that there is such a place! Where is this evidence that proves that it exists?”

Cornelia: Can someone explain to me why the Council has been swallowing everything else that’s been given to them, but for some reason they draw the line here?

“Councilor, the one who has the evidence is standing next to me. The general has more than enough information to show you that this place exists.”

“Show me.” He demanded. Then General Siegfried had pulled out a dataslate out of his coat and started to grab the attention of council, who saw him pressing commands. For once, the Adeptus Mechanicus had decided to improve the dataslate with a new application that was able to record and display it in a holographic form.

Nora: In other words, new advanced technology that was pulled out of the story’s ass

“I do not have a recording of the realm, but I do have footage of those who come from it.” He placed it on the ground and decided to let the recording take place of a battlefield he remembered very well. The holographic recording showed guardsmen and commissars taking positions in their trenches while an officer stuck the banner of Krieg into the dirt. He carried a Laspistol and stood there in defiance as an enemy, unknown to the council, had come. The recording showed a set of portals that appeared in front of the trench line. Soon the council saw figures in spikes, they carried banners of impaled bodies. Then the recording stopped before the general had decided to step forward. “Do you see those portals appearing in the background?”

Ert: So apparently in the middle of a pitched battle against Chaos, someone decided to record it with experimental technology on the off chance that they had to present evidence that the Warp exists.  To aliens.  Which the Imperium rarely engages in diplomacy with.

“Yes, I see that you have a recording entrances pertaining to this Immaterium. However, I see that they must be using some kind of technology.”

“No technology.”

“Then explain to me how these people are able to use these entrances?”

“The Warp has an unnatural ability to go where it wants.”

“Unnatural, surely you must have someone willing to understand this Warp.”

“To understand the Warp is heresy.”

Nora: I think that the Emperor isn’t a god but I still follow every other bit of religious dogma in the Imperium. I smart good.

“Oh, what is holding you back is superstition. Great, you have the largest ships in the galaxy, but you don’t wish to understand what it does because it goes against your beliefs.” Stated Sparatus.

“The Warp contains the great enemy and daemons of the Dark Gods.”

“You mean there is someone living in the Warp?” Suggested Councilor Valern. “Please explain.”

“The Warp is the home of the forces of Chaos and the daemons that live within it’s realm.”

Ert: The Warp contains daemons and Dark Gods. “Please explain” The Warp contains daemons and Dark Gods. “…Thanks.”

“How do these people live in such conditions?”

“That is not for me to say. It is beyond my comprehension.”

“Beyond your comprehension! Or do you just choose to be an ignorant fool.” The accusation of the general from the bird-like xeno grabbed his attention.

“Ignorant! If I was an ignorant fool, I would be susceptible to the powers of the Warp and live in ignorance while screaming ‘Blood for the Blood God.’

Nora: “If I was ignorant I would be ignorant”? Well yeah, that’s kind of the definition of the word. Also, sorry Stu, you are indeed ignorant of the Warp. You choose to be willingly so.

If you wish to understand such dark realm then so be it, but do not judge me. That place is nothing more than a madman’s paradise.” Councilor Tevos spoke.

Ert: I’m not ignorant! I just know nothing about it!

“As much as I would like to go into detail about your part of the galaxy, I would like to know whether you threat to the galaxy or not.” Then they heard the Eldar laugh.

“Ha, a threat to the galaxy. If you met the threats that plagued the galaxy we would be considered nothing compared to them.”

Cornelia: No…no you’re still up there. Considering that killing every xeno you come across is your way of life.

“Such as…”

“The Tyranids, Necrons, and possibly the orks.”

Nora: Have you actually told the Council about them at all? It doesn’t seem like it.

“Ah, now that you mentioned the Tyranids. The Council would like to know the background information about this race.”

Nora: Guess not.

“What would you like to know?” Asked the General.

“How did your first contact go with them?” Then the general and the Farseer gave each other a quick glance.

“Do you know why they are called Tyranids?”

Ert: Oh gee, the race I’ve never heard of, of course I don’t know why they’re called that you daft prick.

“No, but do elaborate.”

“They were first seen at an Imperial planet called Tyran.”

Ert: WELL THAT ADDED A LOT!

“Why is such a place so important?” Wondered Sparatus. “It must have been a misunderstanding.”

“Let me continue.” He paused before speaking once more. “That planet was where we fought them and Tyran was the first world that they consumed.”

“When you mean by consume, surely you must mean that they inhabit the planet.”

Cornelia: I swear, the author is deliberately making this explanation as vague and inconvenient as possible so he can get a higher word count.

“I mean what I mean. How do I know it was consumed? The planet was an ocean world and now there is nothing left when they began to attack everyone.” Everyone paused for a moment, trying to register what he said.

“How did your race respond to them?” Asked Tevos.

“During the Battle of Macragge, a Space Marine Chapter called the Ultramarines had barely defeated them by a close call. It is said that the casualties were so high that it would take centuries to replace.”

Nora: What the hell do you mean “It was said”? It DID take centuries to replace?  This isn’t the medieval ages where information moves at a slow pace and gets heavily distorted!

“Then they must have left you in the aftermath until they recovered their forces.” Stated Valern. “Their forces must have dwindled in the aftermath.”

“I would like to believe that, but you are wrong. The Tyranids just decided that it wasn’t worth their time.”

“You mean, they could still be a threat.”

“No, they are a threat. It’s just that they were reorganizing themselves for the next battle.”

Ert: I have no idea what any of these sentences are supposed to mean because it feels like words were just thrown in at random.

“Did they bring more?”

“Yes, they started to have numerous Hive Fleets attacking whole star systems before reinforcements could arrive.”

“What did stop them?”

“More Space Marine chapters joined the fight and defeated them at Ichar IV.”

Cornelia: Defeated them. If you call stopping their advance and shattering them into smaller fleets who are still prowling the galaxy to this day and some of them have consumed enough biomass to become hive fleets in their own right defeating them.

“Something tells me that there was more who were fighting them.” Farseer Lofn spoke.

“Yes, my kin from Craftworld Lyanden were attacked by the Tyranids. However, they defeated them, at a great cost.”

“From what my reports state, you let these Tyranids come into our galaxy when we first met you.” Said the Turian Councilor. “Tell me why you let them come.”

“Why not? Saves us the trouble.” Commented Siegfried.

Nora: You had no authority in that situation, and the Imperium fleet did indeed fire on the Tyranids.

Ert: Also if the Tyranids rampage through this galaxy with no one to stop them, they will amass numbers greater than you can hope to defeat and they will come back and DEVOUR YOU!

“Do you not care for the lives of our galaxy?”

Cornelia: You’re in the same galaxy! The Imperium got here via Mass Relay, and Mass Relays don’t have inter-galactic capabilities!

“You are a xeno, I don’t give a damn about you and your kind.”

Ert: THEN WHY ARE YOU HERE!? What is the point of making contact with the Council? What is the point of having an embassy?   What is the point of any of this bullshit? Author, why should I give a damn about Lt. Stu? All he’s done is insult every last person he came across and saved his own skin! Why should I care about him? Also if you didn’t care about Xeno lives, how come you dropped that Angry Marine in to save Xeno lives? MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MIND ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT THE IMPERIUM TO FUCKING BE!

“What about you then? Surely you would care for our lives.” Gesturing the Eldar.

“I agree with the General, it’s not my concern for your kin. My kin have died fighting them, if you all must die in order for us to live then so be it.” She looked at the general. “I believe we should take our leave.”

“We didn’t adjourn this meeting.”

“But we did.” Then the two walked away from the Council and grabbed looks from Turians, Salarians, and the Asari.

Nora: We Humens are so awesome! We’re gonna leave a major threat alone because we smart like that!

Docking Bay

Garrus was there to say goodbye to some friends that had business somewhere else. “Mordin, Wrex. What are you two going to do?”

“Me and Mordin are heading to Omega to do some good.” Said the Krogan.

Cornelia: Since when does Wrex care about community service? Making the Krogan less messed up was the only cause he had much of an interest in. That or a good fight.

“What kind of good?”

“One that helps people with medicine and the other that kills mercs with a shotgun.”

“You sure are going to miss me arresting you by the time you get there.”

“Ha, I’ll get over it.” Then Garrus knew that he was missing somebody.

Ert: Yes, we’re bringing up that arresting thing like it’s a character moment even though it was really forced. Also I think this means Wrex isn’t showing up for his court date and there will be a warrant for his arrest put out, so he’ll be in trouble if he ever comes back to the Citadel.

“Do you know where Tali is going?”

“Don’t know, she said that she was going to finish her pilgrimage by going to some trashed planets to get some old ships.”

“Not surprised, after all she is a Quarian.”

Cornelia: That whole her having a shop thing was really pointless wasn’t it?

“Good point. What are you going to do?”

“I’m sticking with my job, for all you know there might some idiot you could try and make money off of the damage that happened here.”

“I wish you luck then.”

“Same here, you better not end up having a tank shell in your body by the time we meet again.”

Ert: Well this dialogue is bland and forced, but at least Wrex and Garrus are TRYING to establish character and be likable, as opposed to Lt. Stu.

“Can’t make no promises.” Then the Krogan turned his back and walked into the ship that would travel him to his destination.

“Spirits, it’s going to get boring without those three.” Then he received a call from his partner on his omni-tool. “What are you doing?” His partner spoke.

“Look Garrus, I know this is a bad time ask you this, but can you take my shift?”

“Yeah, I can do that. What’s wrong?”

“I need you to get this information, quick. Before something happens.”

Cornelia: What does him getting information have to do with him taking your shift? Author! WORDS! CHECK THEM!

“What’s going on?”

“I found some dirt on a SPECTRE. However, I have to stay off the grid.”

“What’s going on? Why is a SPECTRE involved in this?”

“It’s connected to the Batarian attack on the Citadel, I don’t know what it is, but I think I’m on to something. Tell you what, once I’m in the clear, I’ll tell what I found. Got it?”

Ert: Oh. Ok. After the whole mess with Tyranids and Batarians we’re gonna be shoehorning Saren going renegade and the main plot to ME1 in. Ok. Sure. Why not. And apparently he caused the Batarian attack on the Citadel…because he’s evil.

“Don’t worry, as long as I don’t waste my time.”

“You won’t regret it.”

Author’s Note: Sorry to leave you guys with a cliffhanger there. At this point, I’m going to postpone this story while I rewrite a few parts in other chapters.

Ert: I shudder to think exactly what it is you rewrote. But yes, a cliffhanger.

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