40 : ITS MY LIFE – Chapters Nine and Ten

Title: ITS MY LIFE!
Author: MarissaTheWriter
Media: Video game
Topic: Portal
Genre: Listed as Adventure/Drama…
URL: ITS MY LIFE! : Chapter Nine
URL: ITS MY LIFE! : Chapter Ten
Critiqued by Ghostcat

Well, I’m back to guide you through the muddled maze on nonsense that is the Portal fanfic ITS MY LIFE! – At least until I can find a voodoo priestess who can wreak my terrible vengeance upon MarissaTheWriter.

You would think that somewhere on the Internet I would be able to find someone with access to vintage hangman’s rope and powdered alligator bones and who would be willing to accept PayPal. Oh, well.

For those who don’t remember our last look into this seething pit of insanity, let me fill you in.

Our intrepid Marissa-Sue has traveled back through time in order to prevent herself from death-punching her robot-ball baby-daddy. Just as was subtly foreshadowed, she went back too far and ended up in the time period of the original Portal game. After a passing glance at her non-brain-damaged sister and a minor death threat from GLaDOS, she meets the two robots and promptly gets them addicted to the drugs that fall out of Wheatley’s robocorpse. She toddles off to the long-term stasis area where she meets Wheatley for the first time. They have “private time” that GLaDOS interrupts and Marissa creates another black hole, sucking Marissa farther into the past where she ends up at the high school where her mother and father are. Pretending that she is an exchange student and her house has blown up, Marissa moves in to her mother’s bathroom-house where she reveals that she is a time traveler through her knowledge of annoying Canadian pop singers.

Now, all aboard the Fabulous Failure Ferry!

:toot-TOOT!:

CHAPTER NINE: PORTAL HIGH SCHOOL AN A REVALATION!

First, a break-down of the ALL CAPS Author’s Note. The author claims that this will be the chapter with all the big “revlations” which I hope means that Super-Sue’s powers prove to be unstable and she will vaporize herself the next time she thinks really hard. There are two points brought up in the AN that deserve addressing.

PS P-BODY IS A GILR? THANKS FOR TEH INFO ILL WORK THAT INTO THE STORY!

According to some of the rather rabid fan sites I’ve visited while doing research, the robot called P-Body is supposedly a girl. Neither of the robots speak at all during the game, but they do make a series of squeaks and mumbly noises. ATLAS has a lower-pitched squeak and P-Body has a higher-pitched squeak; it is from this slim evidence that it has been decided that P-Body is female and ATLAS is male. The vocalizations for both are provided by the same (male) voice actor. I don’t completely agree with this since – being robots – they lack gender, but that’s not really relevant.

PPS OF CORSE GABE JONSON IS DEAD THATS WHY MARRISSA FOUND HIM IN ARDOID HELL DUH! ALSO WHOS CAVE JONSON IS HE LICK GABES EVIL TWIN THATS A GOOD PLOT IDEA!

I have probably mentioned this before, but there is no character named Gabe Jonson in the games. There is a Cave Johnson, present only as a series of prerecorded messages and a few portraits on the walls, who was the founder of Aperture Science.  He says his name several times during these messages – including my favorite, the Combustible Lemons speech.

Also:

STOP GIVING THIS GIRL PLOT POINTS!

No good will come of it.

And now, for something completely different mind-boggling …

It turns out the thing that startled Whatshername was Past-Wheatly appearing out of thin air in the locked bathroom/bedroom.

I turnsed round an saw that it was… WHEATLY! “Marrissa Im soo glad I found you! The black bloody hole sodding sucked me in too!” I gloped Wheatly an gave lots of hug an kisses while CAROLINE (See I listen to constertive crit instead of FALMER TROLLZ) was all “OMFG”. Wheatly locked at Carline an said “Who the bloody hell is this ugly bugger?” Becos she wasnt a pretty an hot as me an Wheetly wasnt used to seein other humans.

Given Marissa-Sue’s always prettier and hotter than everyone she meets, it comes as no surprise that she’s better-looking than her own teenaged mother. But Past-Wheatly wasn’t used to seeing other humans? He was in charge of the Extended Relaxation Center, where ten thousand human test subjects were kept in stasis. Marissa even states that he was staring at some guys when she runs into him in the last chapter. As a representative sample of the several billion people on the planet, ten thousand is somewhat small, but it’s still a hell of a lot of people. I think Past-Wheatly should be familiar with the basics.

Marissa explains that the suddenly appearing robot-ball is her boyfriend and that they are from the future and need to get back. I guess she’s not as worried about corrupting the time stream as she was in the last chapter, when she neglected to tell Past-Wheatly that she was from the future before they had their “private time”. Whatshername is fine with this, she doesn’t ask any questions at all about anything Marissa says but blindly accepts the word of this possibly deranged stranger.

I predict Whatshername will end up in a pit in some sweaty guy’s basement rubbing lotion into her skin very soon.

As Whatshername is only a “junor” in high school she is not smart enough to build a time machine, but it just so happens that she knows some older guys who can. I guess you have to be a high school senior to make all of space and time your bitch. (Or a Time Lord, but if she drags The Doctor into this mess I really will hunt her down with a deer rifle.)

At this point Gabe Jonson bursts into the (still locked) bathroom/bedroom, even though he had left to do manly (“mainly”) things in the last chapter. Apparently he likes to spy on his girlfriend when she’s alone with another girl, which I would normally find creepy but after everything else in this piece of tripe seems oddly normal.

“I herd every thing! We must wate for toromow then go to school an time mashine you too.” So Gabe Jonson went home an me an Caroline an Wheatly all sleeped in her big doble bed but we didnt do no thing gross lick that ok!

I bet Past-Wheatly still writes a letter to Penthouse Forum though.

The next mornin we woke up an readied for school. “Marrissa how can I school when im a bloody roboball?” Caroline smied an said “Dont worry I can pretend yur my sience fare project.”

:headdesk:

So Past-Wheatly is going to be a science fair project. I can see it now –

Judge – “What do we have here?”

Student #1 – “Potato battery.”

Student #2 – “Baking soda volcano.”

Whatshername – “Self-aware synthetic lifeform.”

Judge – “… Is it powered by potatoes?”

They’ll never suspect a thing.

 We got Portal High School in Carlines car which as a cool ferrari. Are long hare was blowin in the breeze an we were signing pop sungs like “Party in the USA” an “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” an Wheatly sang to but didt no the words.

So a high school junior, whose bedroom is a bathroom, drives a Ferrari convertible to school. That seems completely logical, giving a car worth as much as a very nice house to a teenager who barely knows how to drive. I bet she has several so she can match them to her shoes.

Once they get to school, the place where Marissa suddenly appeared out of thin air the day before, all the boys start hooting and whistling at her because she is so very beautiful (:gags:) but she just waves at them, tells them she is spoken for, and goes to class with Whatshername. They have the same classes because Whatshername “hacked the net work” at some unspecified point in time. (I bet she used her science powers.) Their first class is “jim” – I can only assume that it will be followed by “larry,” “carl,” and “patrick,” with a quick break for lunch before “gregory” and “lucas”.

After they get into their gym clothes (“jim close”), Marissa yells at the same boys she just waved at, who are now staring at her “bobs” and hooting at her. She makes them run away by showing them her “angry face.” I like to imagine she pulled a jar with a face in it out of whatever pocket universe she uses to store all the crap she’s carrying around and showed it to them, like a hellish version of Eleanor Rigby.

It’s about time for the other robots to show up, isn’t it?

“OMG!” Caroline OMGed “Look at the noo mascots there soo coot!” I looked at them an saw… “Carline those not mascots there… ATLAS AN P-BOY!” Altas an P-Boy saw mee an P-Boy “MY NAME IS P-BODY NOW BECOS IM ACTUALLYA GIRL!” P-Body yelled loud at me. I o-mouthed an Caroline went all “Dude WTF?” a gain.

:ring-ring:

:checks Caller ID:

Not the Redundant Department of Redundancy again! I’m just gonna let the machine get it.

It’s possible that during their little sleepover with the robot-ball (where nothing weird happened) that Marissa might have explained to Whatshername who Atlas and P-Body were, but given the way her thoughts seem to flutter like moths around a bug zapper, it’s not very likely. And even if she did, there’s not any reason she would be expecting them to appear at the school, since she is in the past and the two robots were nowhere near the black hole when Marissa (and presumably Past-Wheatly) were sucked into it.

And yet, here they are.

For some reason the author has chosen this opportunity to “fix” the matter of P-Body’s name in a way that makes no sense. This P-Body has to be from the past (but not the distant past they are currently in) since Future P-Body was destroyed by Marissa’s Super Explody Power, yet Future P-Body was the one who used the name P-Boy. (among others) So if Near Past P-Body changed her name from P-Boy to P-Body in the Distant Past, at some point she changed it back to P-Boy before she became Future P-Body and was blown up by Marissa’s temper tantrum. And she is also a lesbian robot, since she did quite a bit of ogling at Marissa at various times in earlier chapters.

:brain explodes:

Sorry, that’s been happening a lot lately.

Atlas and P-Body are looking for more drugs and threaten to shoot Whatshername if Marissa doesn’t give them some. (Even though she isn’t supposed to know that she left beer and drugs from Wheetly’s robocorpse behind in the Near Past for them to become addicted to.)

Uh, guys? You’re at a high school. Just loiter around the parking lot and you can score anything you want. Why you felt you had to travel to the Distant Past to get drugs when they seemed quite plentiful in the future is a bit of a puzzle, but we’ll let that pass.

Whatshername is “scarred” and shaking, while Marissa, the super-powered Super-Sue, stands by doing nothing and cuddling past-Wheatly like a teddy bear. The robot-ball baby-daddy also does nothing, since he is pretending to be a science fair project. I’m pretty sure that once talking robots show up and start threatening to shoot people that you can drop the cunning “science fair project” subterfuge.

And now we get to the even weirder part.

While our heroic duo (plus faux science fair project robot-ball baby-daddy) stand shivering in their shoes, a voice appears from out of nowhere.

 “OH NO YOU DONT!” A big fat kid russianed at Atlas an P-Body an landed on them like squish! He goot up an brush robot parts of off him an went to shack my hand.

“The who did what now?” I americaned to myself.

“My name is Russian name so pepole just call me Heevy cos Im reel fat LOL!” Heavy russianed to me while I was shackin his hand. “You got heer just in time.” Caroline lolled. The Heavy guy ponted to the left an there were some other guys. “These are my frends, we all has cool niknames they are: Scot, Spy, Solder, Medik, Sniper, Demonman, Piro an Ingineer were seinors so we can smart enuff to build time mashine for you.” The Ingineer got up to me. “Well little lady I herd you need a time mashine builted. Well Im a seinor an I passed my time mashine exam so I can help!”

What kind of high school has a Time Machine Exam? The Evil Scientist Academy?

He started buildin the time mashine when Gabe Jonson came in.

:starts stopwatch: Let’s see how long it takes to build a time machine.

I am just as lost as you are. Apparently MarissaTheWriter decided to include characters from another Valve game,  Team Fortress 2, in this Portal fanfic even thought the two game-worlds have absolutely no links to each other besides a single voice actor who voices completely different roles in the two series. I don’t know anything about Team Fortress other than what I’ve read on Wikipedia, from what I can tell, it follows the missions of a small military group of nine men who are named after their particular special skills; Heavy, Scout, Spy, Soldier, Medic, Sniper, Demoman, Pyro, and Engineer. There doesn’t seem to be much of a backstory, but I’m pretty sure they weren’t building time machines in a high school.

While we are venturing off-subject, let’s discuss temporal paradoxes for a moment, boys and girls.

Stop struggling, you’ll only make the knots tighter.

A closed time loop is when an action in the future, Action A, leads to an action in the past, Action B, that will lead to Action A.   As an example – the two robots gave Wheetly illicit substances in the future, Marissa carried his robocorpse back to the past where the illicit substances were left where the two robots could find them, leading to them giving the same substances to Wheetly in the future, whose drug-filled robocorpse is taken into the past, etc … In theory, this would happen over and over again until the end of time, unless an event occurs that would damage this cycle. Say, a large Russian boy crushing the two robots from the Near Past before they can become Future Atlas and Future P-Body and give Future Wheetly drugs and beer in the future that would then be transported into the Near Past so that the past versions of the robots would become addicts who would time travel to the Far Past and be crushed by a hulking foreigner. This is known as a Grandfather Paradox – if you go back in time and kill your grandfather, then you would never be born to go back in time to kill him- and creates a temporal paradox.   A temporal paradox could, according to some leading sci-fi authors, tear open a rift in time and space that would unmake all of creation.

:slow clap:

Good job destroying the universe as we know it! I guess that means the fic is over.

Wait, there’s more? Dammit.

(There’s an alternate theory that by changing an action in the past, you create an alternate timeline that diverges from the original and preserves it from being corrupted. But where’s the fun in that?)

After this inexplicable exchange in which everything tragically doesn’t cease to exist, Gabe bids a tearful goodbye to his future daughter, who is the best “dotter I didt had yet.” During the heartfelt goodbyes with her future parents Marissa does not make a single mention of her sister, their other daughter, not even to give them a heads-up that they will be having more than one child. The Ingineer announces that the time machine is finished.

:clicks stopwatch: Forty-two words in four sentences. That was a fast build.

Marissa starts to get inside the unidentified device (I’m going to picture it as the Weinermobile) but the Ingineer stops her with a weed.

​Befour I cold go in the Ingineer stoped me an took out a big nettle. “Also I made a injecshun that will give you speshal powers.”

Must be some kind of mutant plant. Like Spider-Man’s spiderbite, but somehow less plausible.

…

Oh,  that’s supposed to be needle.

Still doesn’t make sense. I’m not surprised that a high school student who can build a functioning time machine in a few minutes would also happen to be carrying around a mysterious syringe that could grant someone superpowers, but if everyone is so concerned about preserving the time stream, why give a random teenager an injection that would give her superpowers when she already has them?

I lolled an said “I already have them becos this is the past this must be how I got them in the first place.” The Ingineer thot a min an said. “Okay Ill put them in Caroline so when she babys you then you have them to not mess up the time streem.”

When she babys you?

:headdesk:

​ He put the nettle in Caroline an electric happened all over her an I felt even MORE POWER FULL.

:headdesk:

It :thunk: Doesn’t  :thunk:  Work  :thunk:  Like :thunk: That. :thunk:

It’s a closed time loop again – Marissa has powers which enabled her to kill GLaDOS and find the time machine, which allowed her to travel into the Near Past where her actions caused her to be sent to the Distant Past where she insured that her mother (and eventually herself) would have the powers that allow her to kill GLaDOS and start the cycle over. This injection is what gave her the powers, via her mother “babying” her – her mother actually recieving the injection would in no way affect Marissa’s powers since she already had them.

It would be like if I had eaten a candy bar that was so good, I wanted to go back in time and relive it. I could go back and watch Past Me purchase and consume said candy bar, but I would not gain anything physically from the experience since I had already lived it subjectively. If Future Me knocked down Past Me and stole the candy bar, Future Me would be able to experience it, but it would also open the time loop and create a temporal paradox which, as discussed, could be a bad thing.

Marissa is getting into the Wienermobile time machine with Past-Wheatly when suddenly ….

The paragraph ends and the narrative’s focus shifts abruptly to the future. But at least the author lets us know the setting has changed.

MEANWHILE IN THYE FUTURE!

It’s like she painted a picture with her words.

No, I haven’t been drinking cough syrup! How dare you accuse me of such things!

:hides half-empty family-sized Nyquil bottle:

And what is happening in the future that is so important?

Back in the future Chell was still tryin a booty quake but no thing jigglewiggle.

Curse you to the deepest, most lava-filled depths of Android Hell, Booty Quake Inventor.

“Hey you over there come heer!” A voice said an Chell went to it. It was GLaDOS head not died affer all! “I can be yur new booty!” So Chell piced up GLADS an put where butt was there. GLaDOS started to LOL all evil an wiers came out of her an into Chell so she was transform just like GLaDOS planed…

:headdesk:

Oh, just … hell.

There is a tiny sliver of canon behind this – for a portion of the second game GLaDOS is installed in a potato after Wheatley takes over her body. You’ll notice I said “potato” not “ass”. While the real GLaDOS is a passive-aggressive manipulator, I fail to see how even one her most convoluted schemes would include “Install self in Chell’s ass after being death-punched by Marissa.” Especially since she has expressed the desire to commit suicide several times.

Just go into the light, girl … er, computer!

The author refers to this unholy abomination of human and machine as “CHELLGADOS” in her ending Author’s Note.

OH NO CHELL AN GLADOS IS FUSED TO CHELLGADOS! HOW CAN MARRISSA STOP HER NOW AN CAN SHE EVEN GET BACK OR IS SOME THING GOIN DOWN AT PORTAL HIGH SCHOOL? FIND OUT NEXT TIEM!

If, unlike me, you actually want to find out what happens next “tiem”, you don’t have long to wait. That’s right – today is a two-fer!

CHAPTER TEN: WHO IS CAVE JONSON?

:waves hand around:

Oooh, pick me! Pick me! I know!

Don’t worry; this chapter is very short with a lot of confusing “action” bits that don’t make much sense. Or as the author puts it:

THIS CHAPTUR IS REALLY ENTENSE BECOS THERES A LOT OF ACKTION!

I’m fairly vibrating with excitement. Or I’m getting a call on my cellphone.

Although the last chapter ended in the future, Chapter 10 inexplictably opens back in the Distant Past at the exact moment Marissa is getting into the Weinermobile time machine. Another student walks up who looks exactly like Gabe, only “more meen.” Perhaps he was wearing devil horns and carrying a pitchfork, it’s hard to say since the author never described what Gabe looked like.

 “I am CAVE JONSON who is GABE JONSONS more evil twin!” He lolled like bad an some guys camed up from behind him. “I also cloned all yur frends to make evil ones they are called… TEEN FORTRESS 2 (Becos there in High School get it)!”

So … Evil Twin Cave knew far enough in advance that these particular nine students were going to help the time traveler who arrived the day before that he had time to collect DNA samples from each one without their knowledge and grow a functional clone of each of them?

I am so calling bullshit on this one.

Marissa decides that since Caroline now has powers she can leave her to deal with the evil clones and return to her time period with her robot-ball baby-daddy. She gets into the Weinermobile time machine and evil Demoman immediately blows it up with her inside.

Yay!

Wait … she survived. Dammit.

 This was soo sad, I had finally gotted a way to return to the time when an now it was gone. “NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” I yelled like the sun an my powers golwed all round me with sparks an lighting.

:looks up at sun:

I can feel my retinas burning, but there is a distinct lack of yelling coming from the sun. It is a very cheerful yellow, though.

The Demoman then throws bombs at the other evil clones. Wait – that’s probably the good Demoman, which means that both groups are using the exact same nicknames.

Oh, goody. That should make this chapter easy to follow.

The bombs do not affect the evil clones, Cave tells everyone that he has made the evil clones “immune with sheelds” so that they cannot be injured. Marissa waits briefly for her powers to charge up and then fires a bolt of “electric stuff” at Cave, who fires a bolt right back at her.

It seems evil Ingineer created the exact same super-steroids that good Ingineer gave to Whatshername and injected them into Cave. So that brings the number of superpowered teenagers to three – Marissa, Whatshername, and Cave, but only two actually use them.

Marissa is understandably surprised that her evil uncle had superpowers, but decides to shoot him with her portal gun.

He shooted more powers at me but I had a trick, I still had me portal gun.

Marissa is the Lucky Charms leprechaun now.

I powered up teh gun an fired a black hole to were Cave Jonson was.

Again, portal guns don’t work that way.

As the black hole begins sucking everything into its fathomless depths, Cave simply flies away to safety and leaves the evil clones to fend for themselves.

Gravity well? What gravity well? A black hole is just like a hole in the ground, right? It doesn’t affect things in the air.

:slaps author upside the head:

Idiot.

Marissa does nothing to close this black hole and in fact it is never referenced again. Presumably it just keeps dragging stray students into its depths for the rest of the chapter.

Marissa is shocked that Cave can fly (even though she can fly too) and asks one of the Ingineers if she can fly as well.

Yes, yes you can. Remember? You flew to the Moon instead of just portalling yourself there?

I guess the Ingineer didn’t read that chapter because he tells her;

“No, you can only space flight

Stop right there. “space flight” – what’s that second word, the one that starts with “f”?

but Ill put the power Caroline becos shes yur mom.” So the Engineer taked out nettle a gain an put it in Paroline an I started to hoover.

Well, she has been sucking nearly continuously and is right next to an active black hole so there is probably enough sucking going on for a thousand Hoovers. Or she means “hover”, that could be it.

And Marissa spelled Engineer right once! Gold star!

Marissa flies after Cave, leaving the other good guys to deal with the black hole and evil indestructable clones. She finds Cave at the tracks, beating up all the football players and molesting the cheerleaders (at the same time) because he is evil like Atlas and P-Body and that’s just what evil people do. There is a brief bit of witty banter before they start throwing “electric stuff” at each other.

 “Hey you big jerk Cave Jonson pice on someone yur own size!” I smirked with hands on hips. “No you dont you die!” Cave lolled an shot lighting bolts an power missiles at me. I used my detective power to figure out were he wold fire an be in a nother place wen he did. “How can I not hit you with all my big booms?” I lolled at him. “Thats becos yur a bad guy an an bad guys loose!”

Told you it was brief. Not terribly witty, either. I’m not sure how her Super Detective power, the one she used to discover the zombie-making potatoes and that GLaDOS was actually her mother, would help in an aerial dogfight, but whatever.

Also:

  “How can I not hit you with all my big booms?”

I think we know which side of the family Chell gets her brain damage from!

I’m just kidding – it’s both sides.

After this exchange Marissa cheerfully blows up her uncle, who looks exactly like her father (I’m thinking she might have some daddy issues) and heads back to the Weinermobile time machine wreckage. The good guys all cheer her name as she arrives, no mention is made of the evil clones or the black hole nearby. After much hugging Marissa decides to hell with the time stream and tells everyone that she wants them to come back to the future with her. Future Daddy pulls the plug on that idea.

Gabe Jonson looked sad an told me “No Marrisser, if we go life in the future then it will break the time streem an cause a paradoks.”

You’ve already caused several paradoxes, so what’s one more? You’ve got a time machine; why don’t you just go back a few millenia and start poking random shit with a sharp stick, see if you can’t give the human race prehensile tails or perhaps get everyone enslaved by sentient kangaroos?

There is more hugging and Marissa tells her future parents that they will have another daughter, but she will be “less hot an pretty than me ok?” and they just accept this without a single question. I guess they are already planning on abandoning the less-awesome daughter on a doorstep. The Ingineer finishes repairing the Weinermobile time machine so that Marissa and Past-Wheatly can go to Marissa’s time.

That would be the Weinermobile time machine that blew up with Marissa inside. (It got better.)  Marissa picks up Past-Wheatly, who is sleeping because he doesn’t have his Management Rail to recharge on, and steps inside. There are a lot of pretty flashing lights and suddenly Whatshername gets shot.

Wait … What?

​ I picked up Wheatly hoo was a sleep becos he didnt have his rale to charge on an stepped into the mashine. Lights started goin an flashin when suddenly… CAROLINE WAS GOT SHOT! “I was not dead it was just a trick!” Cave Jonson sayd holdin up the gun.

That … It … WHAT?

Cave Jonson, whom Marissa just blew up in a great big flash of light, suddenly pops up from absolutely no-frickin’-where and just starts shooting people? And why didn’t he just shoot Marissa? She’s standing right there and that’s who he was trying to kill before!

​​​ Gabe went on the ground an cried some then stood up an screemed “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Then with all the furry from his hole mussely body Gabe Jonson jump kicked Cave Jonson an blew up his head.

…Twenty-five … Twenty-six … Twenty-seven. Twenty-seven “O”s. That’s a lot of “furry”, even for a “mussely” body. Gabe must work out. Especially if he can kick someone in the head hard enough for their skull to explode.

​Cave Jonson was died for real now but at what cost?

My sanity. And I’ll probably need to buy a new desk, this one has a forehead-shaped dent in it now.

Gabe runs to Whatshername’s side, even though he should be standing right beside her, and cries as blood comes out of “her every where.” Marissa can’t because she is in the Weinermobile time machine and it is still powering up through all of this. The Medik tells Gabe that the “woond” is fatal and she will “dye” soon.

She’s going to be okay! She’s just going to change her hair color.

Oh, wait … she’s dying. My mistake.

Whatshername (or possibly the Medik, there’s not really any clear attribution) tells Gabe and Marissa that she (or he) loves them and then Whatshername dies.

She just … dies.

Marissa and Chell’s mother, who has not yet had any children, dies.

:headdesk:

Explain away this paradox, you barely sentient blob of protoplasm.

​”NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Gabe cried a gain. “I will build you a new robot body Caroline an it will be called… GLaDOS!” I o-mouthed but befour I cold stop him the time mashine sent me back to the future!

:headdesk:

If Whatshername is dead, she can’t have children – hot or less-hot. She also can’t be installed in a computer system that doesn’t exist yet. Dumbass.

I don’t want to can’t wait to see what happens in the next chapter.

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