2617: Mass Murder Effect: The First War Crime (Was Committed by the Protagonists) — Chapter 12 Part 2Posted: June 2, 2020
This chapter contains some potential flamebait in the form of the author perhaps unintentionally outing himself as a “hard currency” advocate, and also making the quarians dyed-in-the-wool sexists for some reason.
Hello hello all you patrons, and welcome back to Mass Effect: The First War.
Last time, the Stumans sent a very purply-named warship to the Citadel to begin peace talks with the Council, with one of the Forgettable Admiralty Blob representing them in the preliminary exchanges. They agreed to send him onto the Citadel with a bunch of human troops disguised as quarians using Bullshit Holography™ for no real reason, and also made plans to detonate a nuke over the Citadel. Meanwhile, on the Council side, salarian respresentative Eistan continued to distort important intelligence and generally make an ass of himself by rambling about the physiology of the opposing delegation, and both he and Tevos T’sael freaked out about Councilor Sparatus wanting to actually have, you know, a negotiating strategy.
Also, Chris McGraw is an unstable, childish creep who doesn’t know the difference between affection and attraction. But we already knew that anyway.
Let’s see how these peace negotiations inevitably disintegrate.
2435: Mass Murder Effect: The First War Crime (Was Committed By The Protagonists) — Chapter 6 Part 2Posted: September 24, 2019
Hello hello all you patrons, and welcome back to Mass Effect: The First War, which may at some point have had something vaguely to do with Mass Effect.
Last time, some random Marines who refused to surrender on Roof engaged in a convoluted process to get a signal back to Earth informing their friends that the planet had been invaded.
You know, it just occurred to me that this seems like a bit of an unnecessary objective for the Marines to even be pursuing. Since system-to-system communication is pretty easy for the humans and there were previously established to be news and personal messages being sent back and forth routinely, one would think that just the prolonged silence of the planet would cause Earth to send in an expeditionary force to check it out pretty quickly without anyone on Roof even needing to do anything.
Also ‘Roof’ is still a terrible name for a planet.
Either way, the message had the unfortunate side effect of informing the turians of Earth’s location, so now they’re gearing up for a full-scale assault.
Title: Rama II and The Garden of Rama
Author: Arthur C. Clarke (theoretically) and Gentry Lee
Topic: Rendezvous with Rama
URL: They are actual printed books that you have to actually buy.
Critiqued by AdmiralSakai
As Mass Effect The First War continues to drag on to an uncertain conclusion, I’ve decided I’ll be taking a break every five or so chapters to keep things interesting around here. Normally I’ll be riffing oneshots or fanart or doing goodfic recommendations during these interludes, but there’s something else I’ve been meaning to look at for a good long while now that, while it falls under LotD’s general umbrella of “really terrible writing based on a pre-existing canon”, is not technically fanfiction. Think of this as similar in a lot of ways to Bats’s comic retrospectives, although really it probably is closer to just plain fanfiction that somehow got published alongside the original source material.
Please be aware that I have blacked out spoilers for the original work here, although those are mostly confined to the summary of said original work since the sequels have precious little to do with its mythology.
Title: Harry Potter Becomes A Communist
Topic: Harry Potter
URL: Chapters Sixty-Three, Sixty-four, Sixty-Five, Sixty-Six, Sixty-Seven, Sixty-Eight, Sixty-Nine, Seventy, Seventy-One, Seventy-Two, and Seventy-Three
Critiqued by Herr Wozzeck
Hello everyone, and welcome back to what has somehow become the less offensive of two fics that I am alternating between. Yeah, I say “less offensive” now, because doing a political trollfic back-to-back with a fucking underage harem fanfic is, uh…
Well, let’s say it clarifies a few things.
Anyway, we’re back with more Harry Potter Becomes A Communist, so let’s get to it, shall we? Because as usual, we’ve got a lot of ground to cover today.