Title: The Darkening of Equestria
Author: Shadow Stormblade
Topic: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Genre: Romance, Dark, Adventure, Mystery, (pauses for breath) and Thriller
URL: Entire ‘Fic
Critiqued by: Serketry
*Indiscriminate staticky sounds*
*TAP TAP TAP* Is this thing on? Hello? Alright, signal looks strong. Morning, y’all, I’m Serketry, and today I’m reporting in live from the Frozen North. My surviving broodmates and I are back at the old hatchery, celebrating our brood-elder’s 80th, and it’s quite the trip down memory lane.
I remember being taught the basics of engine maintenance, proper firearm safety, and how to operate an excavator- that very one, back there, half-buried in a ditch! Skills still I use to this very day. And before you ask, of course we have a basecamp set up monitoring the Crystal Empire, the love capitol of the world. The question isn’t ‘where are we hiding’, it’s ‘who have we already replaced.’
Well, a janitor’s work is never done, so let’s look at what we’ve got here… The Darkening of Equestria, by Shadow Stormblade. Oh, it’s a recent one, too! Early 2017, by the looks of it. Right after… Season 6…
The horror… The candy-coated horror…
Huh? What do you mean I’ve been sitting here for over an hour? Oh. Alright, moving on. Tags, tell us what we’re dealing wi-
Oh son of a fucking bitch. Wha- HOW?! This fic has, like, 1100 words! How do you fit so much shit into so little space?
In a dark, neglected broom closet, deep in the battle-scarred halls of RIFFCON, an irradiated corpse stirs to life. With a flash of green fire, its bullet-riddled carapace is replaced with a familiar utilitarian jumpsuit. Wordlessly, the janitor shuffles along, pushing his cleaning cart towards central command.
Spying a vacant terminal, he takes a seat an-
Morning y’all, I’m Serketry, and it’ll take more than Cpt. Argovigian’s shotgauntlet to the cranial plates to put me down. This place needs a good scrubbing… as does the orphanage. Let’s see…
Still Doll, by TwilightsChild. Looks like it’s from January 2015, a few months prior to the Season 5 premier… Oh! What have we here?
What’s that I don’t see? Could it be? No
romance clop Ikea furniture assembly?!? But, oof, crossover. Hope it’s noth-
After was crowned ‘Princess of Friendship’, Twilight continues to balance her role, her friends, and something missing in her head. She had a vision about a black hedgehog named Shadow, who was awaited with her arrival, and was also having a certain feeling that Twilight will never return to her dimension.
The fuck is this shit? Read the rest of this entry »
Title: A Strike of Black Lightning
Topic: My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic
Genre: Romance, Dark, Adventure, Comedy, and Random because fimfiction doesn’t know when to goddamn quit.
URL: A Strike of Black Lightning
Critiqued by Serketry
Another year, another Halloween Spooptacular come and gone. Shattered lightbulbs need replacing, shitty Slenderbro and Killa Jeff magnet poetry needs sweeping up, millions of SON IS.exe cartidges need to be dumped in a landfill in the desert, and, above all else, gallons and gallons of hyper-realistic blood need to be-
Morning, y’all, I’m Serketry, and it’s about time I kept scrubbing out the orphanage. That last work order turned out pretty well, if I do say so myself, so let’s keep at it, with A Strike of Black Lightning, by RustyKat. Y’know, cause any ol’ black lightning strike will do.
The ‘fic under review today contains potential flamebait in the form of tactless, teen-angsty handling of suicide and probably depression and/or domestic abuse and/or hate crimes or something. It’s all pretty damn vague, but flamebait nonetheless. There is also discussion of a number of issues raised by the source material that, while abstract, are in fact very political in nature.
Hello hello all you patrons, and welcome to something that is not, in fact, Friendship Is Magic: The Covenant War.
Yeah, I could use a break. There was just so little actual MLP in it, it was starting to feel dense and… kinda stale.
So, instead, I went ahead and found us a little ‘fic that has a whole lot of MLP in it, except it also happens to be the part of MLP that is about as far from Friendship is Metal as The Covenant War is from tense and well-paced military science fiction.
Ladies and gentlebeings of the Library, prepare yourselves for an introduction… to Thorax.
Son of a fucking bitch.
Title: Blue Moon
Topic: Lord of the Rings/The Smurfs
Genre: Angst and Humor
URL: Chapter One
Critiqued by Angie and Queenie
Queenie: “Australian, not Scottish.”
Queenie: “That’s why Jack calls him a kangaroo at one point.”
I will physically fight you.
Welcome back to Angie Pays for Her Sins. This time, I’m reviewing a Lord in the Rings fanfiction to repay for Brego’s Mistress.
Queenie: I went through the tiresome labor of searching for a fanfiction, and I stumbled upon a crossover between some Earth cartoon called The Smurfs. The title is also the name of a beer brand. So…that’s fun.
This fic is called Coors Light.
Queenie: That’s…nope. That’s incorrect. The fic is called Blue Moon. Let’s begin.
Title: Same Old Lang Syne
Media: TV Shows
Topic: Stranger Things
URL: Same Old Lang Syne
Critiqued by Angie
Warning: Drinking. Oh no.
FORCED, CHEESY OPENING:
*kicks down door* Ho ho ho, motherfuckers. I didn’t have time to figure out separate presents for you all so you’re all getting a Hot Wheel and a gift certificate to Chili’s.
Okay back to the riff:
It really does make me feel bad finding Christmas fics to review because it truly is such a wholesome, happy holiday.
Someone’s gotta do it though.
Merry Christmas, everybody. I’m Angie and I’m going to ruin your holiday by reviewing a fic deriving from everybody’s favorite subgenre, the songfic! Today’s song is Same Old Lang Syne, sang by the late, great Dan Fogelberg.
You know, this one.
And it’s a fic based off of another wildly famous topic, Stranger Things.
Stranger Things is a 2016 Netflix original TV show created by The Duffer Brothers. It takes place in early to mid eighties and stars Winona Ryder and rising star Finn Wolfhard. It’s full of awesome sci-fi action culminating in one of the highest praised TV shows of all time.
Can TKDP keep that magic alive? Let’s take a look at Same Old Lang Syne.
Koori: *glances at the title* I thought we were going to do a Christmas fic this week in honor of your Season of Consumerism?
*rolls her eyes at Koori*
There’s more to Christmas than consumerism.
Koori: Yes, but you’re not Christian. You do not celebrate the religious aspect of the holiday; you celebrate the purchasing aspect of it-
I guess I’ll just return this gift I bought you then. *grabs a big box from under the tree and heads toward the door*
Koori: Wait! I… uh… I never said that the gift-giving portion of your Christmas was a bad thing.
I thought so. *puts the box back under the tree*
Anyway, I chose this particular fic for my Christmas holiday one-shot because it does have Christmas in it. It hails from the “Nightmare Before Christmas” section of ff.net. NBC fics tend to have a mix of Halloween and Christmas in them because the movie itself is a mishmash of both holidays.
Koori: Oh, that explains why you had me watch it this weekend.