2593: Mileena’s Humanity – Chapter Five

Title: Mileena’s Humanity
Author:  Spirit.of.Bardock
Media: Video Game
Topic: Mortal Kombat
Genre: Adventure/Romance
URL: https://m.fanfiction.net/s/11898341/5/
Critiqued by: ME-Iron-Maiden

WARNING: THIS CHAPTER FINALLY GETS US SOME OF THE ACTION WE EXPECT FROM MORTAL KOMBAT, WITH ALL THAT ENTAILS. ADDITIONALLY, I’LL BE INCLUDING FOOTAGE OF ACTUAL FIGHTS TO PROVE A POINT IN MY CRITIQUE WHICH MAY BE DISTURBING DUE TO VIOLENCE AND LANGUAGE. READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.

Hello again and welcome to the latest installment of Mileena’s Humanity. I’m your host ME-Iron-Maiden and we left off with a cringy-as-shit sex scene. I’m afraid I have to issue a retraction to something I said in the comments for Chapter 4: there’s another sex scene later on. Fortunately, we won’t be coming to that for a while. Instead let’s throw up the current Darwin List and get cracking.

  1. Performed an unprovoked attack on Mileena
  2. Isn’t afraid of the teeth she can easily use to rip him in half
  3. Seems intent on pissing her off
  4. Gives her weapons
  5. Invades her personal space when she’s pissed off
  6. Casually keeps his guard down around the psychotic cannibal
  7. Takes a commanding/bossy tone with a woman who is known as the Mad Empress of Outworld for her sadism and brutality to her own subjects
  8. Gets preachy with Mileena after finger-flicking her forehead
  9. Makes out with the cannibal who has teeth that can tear a chunk out of a thresher maw
  10. Lets the cannibal give him a blowjob

AN: Thank you everyone that has given me a review, I appreciate them a lot. Anyways, I’ve been thinking about what should happen after the story mode, and I’ve decided that you, the reader, decide whether I should continue what happens between Justin and Mileena or stop the story after the story mode.

I’m thinking you should have figured this out before you even started putting words on screen, but here we are.

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2579: Mileena’s Humanity – Chapter Four

Title: Mileena’s Humanity
Author:  Spirit.of.Bardock
Media: Video Game
Topic: Mortal Kombat
Genre: Adventure/Romance
URL: https://m.fanfiction.net/s/11898341/4/
Critiqued by: ME-Iron-Maiden

WARNING: THIS INSTALLMENT CONTAINS AN EXPLICIT SEX SCENE AND THUS IS NOT SAFE FOR WORK. IT’S ALSO SHOWING UP IN THIS FINE ESTABLISHMENT SO IT IS ALSO NOT SAFE FOR YOUR SANITY IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT TOO MUCH.

Hello and welcome back to the riff of “Mileena’s Humanity”. I’m your host ME-Iron-Maiden and last time, we left off with our “hero” continuing to act like a douche rocket, Mileena suddenly having a breakdown and crying her eyes out and then acquiescing to sex with Ju’Stu. Ju’Stu, as you’ll recall tried to cave her skull in with a baseball bat, bosses her around, and force-feeds her shit that could well be toxic to her due to her unique physiology. So, of course, he’s “saved her life” and now she’s gonna bang him.

Before we begin, let’s post the current Darwin List for Ju’Stu.

  • Performed an unprovoked attack on Mileena
  • Isn’t afraid of the teeth she can easily use to rip him in half
  • Seems intent on pissing her off
  • Gives her weapons
  • Invades her personal space when she’s pissed off
  • Casually keeps his guard down around the psychotic cannibal
  • Takes a commanding/bossy tone with a woman who is known as the Mad Empress of Outworld for her sadism and brutality to her own subjects
  • Gets preachy with Mileena after finger-flicking her forehead

*opens a bottle of rocket-grade tihaar, sets the popcorn machine to overdrive, and cues up the porn music*

Let’s do this.

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2571: Mileena’s Humanity – Chapter Three

Title: Mileena’s Humanity
Author: Spirit.of.Bardock
Media: Video Game
Topic: Mortal Kombat
Genre: Adventure/Romance
URL: Chapter 3
Critiqued by: ME-Iron-Maiden

Hello everyone and welcome back to the riff of Mileena’s Humanity. I’m your host ME-Iron-Maiden and last chapter proved somewhat enlightening with regards to our “hero” Ju’Stu. For example, we learned that he has precisely zero survival instincts and is a total prick to one of Outworld’s deadliest fighters.

Let’s see what we have to put up with today.

AN: Ok sorry for taking so long with this chapter, a lot of stuff happened since the last one. Such as losing my laptop to the Blue Screen. And also thank you everyone that reviewed and faved this, to the reviewer who asked for a female OC x Mileena, I may get around to it. However since it’s almost summer, I’m going to be busy with stuff. A lot of which is Let’s Play and work.

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2559: Mileena’s Humanity – Chapter Two

Title: Mileena’s Humanity
Author:  Spirit.of.Bardock
Media: Video Game
Topic: Mortal Kombat
Genre: Adventure/Romance
URL: https://m.fanfiction.net/s/11898341/1/Mileena-s-Humanity
Critiqued by ME-Iron-Maiden

TRIGGER WARNING: Discussion of Suicide

Hello, everyone and welcome back to Mileena’s Humanity. Last time we got off to a great start where Mileena got away from D’Vorah only go get cold-cocked by a human. Considering she is the former Empress of Outworld and successor to Shao Kahn himself, you’d think there’d be one less human around. 

Sadly, we’re already seeing our author’s avatar is a Marty Stu. Not only did he get away with using Mileena’s head for batting practice, but apparently his cooking is far better than what the Royal Kitchens provided to an Empress who lost her throne because she was considered A WORSE RULER THAN SHAO KAHN!!!

The last chapter ended with this cliffhanger

Mileena took a step back, this human was different than the ones she has fought and killed. This one seemed to actually care about her well being, even if he managed to knock her out. She sat herself at the table and watched with interest. The man put various spices onto the meat and before too long was finished. He put the plate in front of her and she slowly lowered her veil in order to eat. Justin turned around and saw something that chilled his blood.

And this is what he saw: https://i.ytimg.com/vi/QgbsBUWDh-Q/maxresdefault.jpg

Let’s see how bad Justin (henceforth known as Ju’stu) freaks out.

AN: Thank you everyone for the favs and follows, compared to The Coiled Heart this story become more popular in the amount of time than my other. That is thanks to all of you that read my story, anyway you’re here for the story, so here you go.

Again with the Author’s Note.

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2541: Mileena’s Humanity – Chapter One

Title: Mileena’s Humanity
Author:  Spirit.of.Bardock
Media: Video Game
Topic: Mortal Kombat
Genre: Adventure/Romance
URL: https://m.fanfiction.net/s/11898341/1/Mileena-s-Humanity
Critiqued by ME-Iron-Maiden

Hey everyone! ME-Iron-Maiden here with a new riff. Yes, I know I’ve got to get cracking on Mass Foundations: A New Day, but with Admiral Sakai and SC having Mass Effect-related riffs going on, I figured I’d go with a different fandom for the duration.

So… Mortal Kombat. Adventure and Romance genres. This does not fill me with confidence. As does the fact I’m sharing this with you in this lovely place. Let’s take a look at the summary, shall we?

What would happen if Mileena escaped D’Voora and made it to Earthrealm. Well read and find out.

Time for a quick infodump.

This is Mileena. She is one of the series’ most popular characters, being the evil sister to fan favorite Princess Kitana of Edenia (aka Outworld). She was created by Shang Tsung under the orders of Shao Khan himself for the purpose of having her around as an assassin, spy, and possible successor to his empire, should anything befall him. Half Edenian and half Takaran, she isn’t what I would consider mentally stable. At all. As in “psychopath who gets turned on by murder and her Fatality is called ‘Maneater’ for a reason”. As mentioned in the summary, the games have her dying at the hands of D’Vorah (more on her in a bit) after being ousted from her seat as Empress of Outworld after a harsh civil war. Why did her subjects rebel? She was worse than Shao Khan when it came to sadism and cruelty to the people she ruled over. Let that sink in for a moment.

This is D’Vorah. She looks humanoid, but she’s actually a sapient hive of insects. Only thing she cares about is survival and is absolutely brutal in going about it. She’s also incredibly difficult to kill: if you tear her body in half, she’ll just form a new one out of the insects that make up her hive. In the games, she killed Mileena by giving her a kiss… and hundreds of insects ate Mileena’s head from the inside out. I’m not sharing video because this was squick on a whole other level, even by Mortal Kombat standards.

That should do it for relevant info for now. Let’s get started. Read the rest of this entry »


2412: Mass Foundations: A New Day, Chapter Three

Title: Mass Foundations: A New Day
Author:  Nord Ronnoc
Media: Video Game
Topic: Mass Effect
Genre: Adventure/Sci-Fi
URL: Mass Foundations: A New Day
Critiqued by: ME-Iron-Maiden and special guest Jennifer Mui

DISCLAIMER: THE AUTHOR OF THIS FIC, NORD RONNOC, AND RESIDENT LIBRARIAN HERR WOZZECK HAVE SOME HISTORY WITH ONE ANOTHER WHICH INCLUDES AN ON-AGAIN/OFF-AGAIN FEUD. I AM FAMILIAR WITH BOTH PARTIES AND HAVE NO STAKE OR INVOLVEMENT IN SAID FEUD. THIS IS SIMPLY A CRITIQUE OF NORD RONNOC’S STORY; NOTHING MORE OR LESS.

Hello and welcome back to the riff of Mass Foundations: A New Day. I’m ME-Iron Maiden and I’m joined once again by legendary mercenary Jennifer Mui.

Mui: Hopefully we’ll get something new called “plot progression” today.

Well, let’s check the chapter title and Author’s Note and see what we have in store today.

Chapter 3: I’ll Carry You Home Tonight

Mui: Oh, this bodes well.

I’m going to ready some target designators. I have a feeling one of our Librarians is going to need help with his aim.

Mui: It isn’t that chap who destroyed that Spectre’s ship in the other riff, is it?

Nope. This guy is all about overkill against bad and forced romance cliches and isn’t particular about collateral damage. He and Nillson would have much to discuss.

Mui: And I thought I caused massive amounts of property destruction… Wait a minute. If he hates bad romances, where was he when-

Let’s move on to the note.

UPDATE 1/17/14: In case it wasn’t clear by the last chapter’s narration, Eric’s siblings were not dead. They were fine, very much likely heartbroken by the loss of their brother. Like Eric had told himself, it was just a nightmare.

 And just like that, the ONE thing that could have made this fic actually interesting and unique thus far dies. Alone and unloved.

Mui: Godspeed, accidental good story idea.

As for this chapter, this was originally conceived by a friend of mine. He would like to write a dating scene/chapter when I asked him what he would like to do for me. However, as time went on, he was unable to write it due to focusing on other projects. So, he told me to take that chance and write it myself, and so I did.

Here you go. Enjoy the chapter, and I hope I did well writing a bit of romance, especially a same-sex couple.

Mui: Let me see if I understand this. He had a friend who wanted to ghost write a romantic chapter but said friend couldn’t complete the job so he decided to write it himself?

Kitchen sink writing at its finest: not only is Nord writing by the seat of his pants, he’s very quick to let others add content to a fic. That’s a path to some serious drama down the line if he isn’t careful.

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2396: Mass Foundations: A New Day, Chapter Two

Title: Mass Foundations: A New Day
Author:  Nord Ronnoc
Media: Video Game
Topic: Mass Effect
Genre: Adventure/Sci-Fi
URL: Mass Foundations: A New Day
Critiqued by: ME-Iron-Maiden and special guest Jennifer Mui

 

DISCLAIMER: THE AUTHOR OF THIS FIC, NORD RONNOC, AND RESIDENT LIBRARIAN HERR WOZZECK HAVE SOME HISTORY WITH ONE ANOTHER WHICH INCLUDES AN ON-AGAIN/OFF-AGAIN FEUD. I AM FAMILIAR WITH BOTH PARTIES AND HAVE NO STAKE OR INVOLVEMENT IN SAID FEUD. THIS IS SIMPLY A CRITIQUE OF NORD RONNOC’S STORY; NOTHING MORE OR LESS.

Welcome back to the Riff of Mass Foundations: A New Day, everyone. I’m your host ME-Iron-Maiden joined once again by Earth’s Most Expensive Mercenary, Jennifer Mui.

*waits for the applause and groans to die down*

Now before we begin, we need to do some preparations. *holds out a SIG-Sauer P226 in 9mm along with several magazines and ammo for the same to Mui*

Mui: You’re sure about this?

It’s just a precaution. Besides, I won’t have it said that I wasn’t accommodating to my guests.

Mui: “A precaution?” What sort of situation are we going to get into where I’m going to need a sidearm?

You never know in this place. Might be bullshit from the fic, or some of our more colorful and/or annoying denizens will cause a mess that needs cleaned up.

Mui: Fair enough. Ever since Venezuela, I’ve become rather attached to the idea of being armed at all times.

I hear you on that. Let’s get started, shall we? Last chapter, Not!Art found a magick orb that sent him flying through space and time, dumping him head-first into the Citadel Reservoir. Unfortunately, he got fished out of there before he drowned and we have to continue on. First off we get an Author’s Note!

Mui: Are we going to be dealing with this every chapter?

It’s another common thing with fanfiction: authors just love leaving notes in their fics that add nothing to the story. Another trap I fell into myself.

Mui: *sighs* Fine. At least I’m not nursing a hangover this time…

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