2521: Maya and Raider – Chapter 16

Title: Maya and Raider
AuthorEclipsepheniox
Media: Video Game
Topic: Borderlands
Genre: Adventure/Romance
URL: Chapter 16
Critiqued by Delta XIII

Ah, good! Yet another chapter of this tale from the Snore-derlands!
Are you not entertained?

‘Cause I’m sure as hell not!

EVERYTHING WRONG
WITH
Maya and Raider
Chapter 16

(warning)
(sever boredom ahead)

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2486: Captain Rapist’s Quarter-Assed Adventure (Trapped Rewrite) – Chapter 4 Part 1

Title: Trapped in 40k
Author: EclipsePheniox
Topic: Warhammer 40,000
Media: Tabletop Game
Genre: Sci-fi/Mystery
URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12486706
Critiqued by Crazy Minh, Major Wade, and Ensign Jim Jimson.

Hello again, Patrons, and welcome to the fourth chapter of Eclipse Pheniox’s epic fail of a story ‘Trapped in 40k’. I’m your Guest Riffer, Crazy Minh; over there at the tactical station is Major Wade; and joining us posthumously is our new spectral helmsman, Ensign Jim Jimson, who you may remember from the SOMA riff I did during Spooktober. Jim, wanna introduce yourself?

Hi patrons! I’m Jim Jimson, and I’ll be haunting this ship for…well, I can’t say ‘the rest of my life’ now, can I?

Not really.

Fuck.

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2476: Captain Rapist’s Quarter-Assed Adventure – Chapter 3 Part 2

Title: Trapped in 40k
Author: Eclipse Pheniox
Topic: Warhammer 40,000
Media: Tabletop Game
Genre: Sci-fi/Mystery
URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12486706
Critiqued by Crazy Minh, and Major Wade

WARNING! THIS IS AN EP FIC! EXPECT TRIGGERS AT SOME POINT!

SECOND WARNING: ALTHOUGH I SKIP THE MORE SENSITIVE BITS, EP HAS A RATHER ABHORRENT SEX SCENE IN THIS CHAPTER THAT MAY OFFEND SOME PATRONS. READ WITH CAUTION.

Hello Patrons, and welcome back from Spooktober! Unfortunately, the greeting is the second part of the third chapter of Eclipse Pheniox’s Trapped in 40k: the rewrite that just keeps droning. Fortunately, EP decided to discontinue this fanfic during the last Spooktober festivities, so at least there’s now a definite end to this shitfest! The fic got three more chapters following the start of my riff, and in total there will be 18 more chapters of this shit before we are done! Anyway, I’m your guest riffer, Crazy Minh, and he’s Major Wade:

Oh dear god, this chapter…

Don’t be a drama queen; it’s not all that bad! Trust me, I’ve been here. It gets worse later. Much worse.

…Is it too late for me to go back to the SGC?

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2465: Maya and Raider – Chapter 15

Title: Maya and Raider
AuthorEclipsepheniox
Media: Video Game
Topic: Borderlands
Genre: Adventure/Romance
URL: Chapter 15
Critiqued by Delta XIII

Did you know the DRD apparently made a gun for Borderlands 3?



Like, I don’t even have a joke here, I just find this really amusing.
Anyway, on with the show.

EVERYTHING WRONG
WITH
Maya and Raider
Chapter 14
(spoilers)
(you know the drill by now)

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2429: Captain Rapist’s Quarter-Assed Adventure – Chapter 2 Part 2 and Chapter 3 Part 1

Title: Trapped in 40k
Author: Eclipse Pheniox
Topic: Warhammer 40,000
Media: Tabletop Game
Genre: Sci-fi/Mystery
URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12486706
Critiqued by Crazy Minh and Major Wade

WARNING: THIS IS A EP FIC! EXPECT TRIGGERS AT SOME POINT!

Hello Patrons, and welcome back to another instalment of Trapped In 40k by Eclipse Pheniox! I’m your guest riffer, Crazy Minh, and joining me again as my special guest is Major Wade!

Heya!

Today, we cover the last bit of Chapter two, and the first half of Chapter three! We left off with the Inquisitor leaving the Chapel-Which-Is-Also-An-ER-Room-Which-Is-Also-A-Flower-Pot.

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2416: Captain Rapist’s Quarter-Assed Adventure – Chapter 2, Part 1

Title: Trapped in 40k
Author: Eclipse Pheniox
Topic: Warhammer 40,000
Media: Tabletop Game
Genre: Sci-fi / Mystery
URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12486706
Critiqued by Crazy Minh and Major Wade

Hello Patrons, and welcome back to another instalment of Trapped in 40k! I’m your guest riffer, Crazy Minh. Joining me today is Major Wade, and we will be diving into the first half of Chapter 2 today! However, before we begin, a few things:

Firstly, I’m dropping XSGCOM: Mirror Image. After the chat with Hotpoint himself in the comments of the last instalment (which I’m pleased to say was very interesting, and was voiced in a civil manner, unlike many such encounters we have had in the past), I had a revelation. XSGCOM isn’t worth riffing. Sure, there’s gaping flaws in the way it’s written, but most of these aren’t major enough to make serious commentary on. It gets to the point where there’s entire chapters where not much really happens, and there’s others where it’s just hard to find anything to critique. The riff becomes more about trying to find something to MST than actually riffing anything of weight. After rereading the fic, I also realised that things I made a big deal of in the first two instalments were pretty minor, at least when I went back and thought about it. I’d like to apologise to anyone who was waiting for the next riff, but to be honest, I feel that not many patrons were really reading it to begin with.

[For what it’s worth, I just checked the stats, and from what I can tell, readership was pretty average. Not fantastic but, for example, usually about as good or better than installments of The Red Queen released around the same time. – Bats]

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2400: Captain Rapist’s Quarter-Assed Adventure – Chapter 1 Part 2

Title: Trapped in 40k
Author: Eclipse Pheniox
Topic: Warhammer 40,000
Media: Tabletop Game
Genre: Sci-fi/Mystery
URL: Chapter 1
Critiqued by Crazy Minh and Major Wade

Look, this is a EP fic. Just…just be on the lookout for pretty much ~all~ the triggers here. Trivialisation of something is to be expected. May the Force be with you, Patrons.

Hello Patrons, and welcome back to part two of Eclipse Pheniox’s ‘Trapped In 40k’, a rewrite of the equally terrible ‘Trapped’. I’m your guest riffer, Crazy Minh, and today we’ll be diving ever deeper into the hellgate that is this fic. Last time, a Inquisitor did the impossible task of capturing a Farseer, threatened a member of her command for doing his job, EP fell out of a exploding Webway gate, and we got vaguely introduced to EP’s rewritten harem. Now, let us begin our descent into hell once more!

So… I guess we’re just going to ignore the fact that you dragged me backwards in time to riff this with you, before you actually introduced me?

Hey man, this is a starship. Lotsa impossible wibbly-wobbly-timey-wimey bullshit happens aboard these things. I mean, space may be a final frontier; but it’s not the final frontier. There’s always some frontier to break new ground on.

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