2521: Maya and Raider – Chapter 16

Title: Maya and Raider
AuthorEclipsepheniox
Media: Video Game
Topic: Borderlands
Genre: Adventure/Romance
URL: Chapter 16
Critiqued by Delta XIII

Ah, good! Yet another chapter of this tale from the Snore-derlands!
Are you not entertained?

‘Cause I’m sure as hell not!

EVERYTHING WRONG
WITH
Maya and Raider
Chapter 16

(warning)
(sever boredom ahead)

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2465: Maya and Raider – Chapter 15

Title: Maya and Raider
AuthorEclipsepheniox
Media: Video Game
Topic: Borderlands
Genre: Adventure/Romance
URL: Chapter 15
Critiqued by Delta XIII

Did you know the DRD apparently made a gun for Borderlands 3?



Like, I don’t even have a joke here, I just find this really amusing.
Anyway, on with the show.

EVERYTHING WRONG
WITH
Maya and Raider
Chapter 14
(spoilers)
(you know the drill by now)

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2369: Maya and Raider – Chapter 14

Title: Maya and Raider
AuthorEclipsepheniox
Media: Video Game
Topic: Borderlands
Genre: Adventure/Romance
URL: Chapter 14
Critiqued by Delta XIII

Should I even bother lampshading the release gap again, or should I just get on with it?

(

-The Management)

Well anyway, in (rather late) celebration of Borderlands 3 becoming an official thing, a new DLC pack for Borderlands 2, and me getting the Handsome Collection on Steam, here’s a brand new chapter of this snorefest!

I know, I just absolutely spoil you, don’t I?

EVERYTHING WRONG
WITH
Maya and Raider
Chapter 14

(Ah shit)
(here we go again)

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2304: Maya and Raider – Chapter XIII

Title: Maya and Raider
AuthorEclipsepheniox
Media: Video Game
Topic: Borderlands
Genre: Adventure/Romance
URL: Chapter 13
Critiqued by Delta XIII

Well, it was only slightly more than one month this time! That’s progress, right?
…right?
(plsdontkillme)

Anyway, let’s get on with this.

EVERYTHING WRONG
WITH
Maya and Raider
Chapter 13

(spoilers)
(as if you care)

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2269: Maya and Raider – Chapter 12

Title: Maya and Raider
Author: 
Eclipsepheniox
Media: 
Video Game
Topic: 
Borderlands
Genre: 
Adventure/Romance
URL: Chapter 12
Critiqued by Delta XIII

Yeah, didn’t think you’d ever see this again, huh? Sorry for disappearing for so long; I have no real excuse other than laziness and my own short attention span.
Anyway, without further ado, let’s get on with it.

EVERYTHING WRONG
WITH
Maya and Raider
Chapter 12

(spoilers)
(but who actually cares?)

Axton grabbed Maya’s back and pulled her up as the ice below her fell.

Axton somehow grabs Maya’s entire back all at once. He must have enormous hands. (1)

He pulled Maya up who was practically in tears.

Actually, those are tears of joy that she doesn’t have to be around Raider and his corrupting Stufluence anymore. (2)

He set Maya down and looked over the edge while Gaige comforted Maya. Axton took out a length of rope and hooked it onto the ice and tested it’s strength.

Axton is able to hook a rope into ice by itself, without any kind of, oh I don’t know, HOOK!!! (3)

“Ok guys I’ll go down first, you guys follow.” he said with everyone except Maya nodding.

He abseiled down to the floor and noticed Raider laying on the floor not moving. He ran over to the guerrilla fighter and got down to one knee and checked his heart beat. He felt a faint pulse and sighed with relief.

Fic briefly tries to trick us into thinking that Raider is dead but gives up halfway through. (4)

Maya was the next down and ran up to Raider and fell to her knees next to him. Her hand on him looking at him as if he where a child.

What in the name of Emo Baby Jesus does that even mean?! (5)

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2253: A Thousand Cuts – Oneshot

Title: A Thousand Cuts
Author: TheAutisticDuo
Topic: Borderlands 2
Category: Video Game
Genre: Hurt/Comfort / Sci-Fi
URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12518886/1/A-Thousand-Cuts
Critiqued by Crazy Minh

WARNING!!! THIS FIC CONTAINS GRAPGIC VIOLENCE AND UNGRACIOUS SWEARING. IT ALSO CONTAINS A REALLY BAD MARY SUE OC AND ABOUT AS MUCH RESPECT FOR ENGLISH AS AUSTRALIANS HAVE FOR OUR POLITICIANS. WHICH IS TO SAY, LITTLE-TO-NONE. IF YOU HAVE ANY TRIGGERS BELONGING TO THIS CATEGORIES, PLEASE BE CAUTIOUS WHILE READING. ALSO, FEAR FOR YOUR SANITY. FOR I HAVE NONE LEFT.

 

CZM: Hello, and welcome back to the Minh and Biskit show. I’m your guest-reviewer host, Crazy Minh…

Biskit: …and I’m Biskit, the guest-guest-reviewer trapped in the body of a stuffed toy!

CZM: Yeah…we’re working on that.

Biskit: Are we? I could finally be able to…

CZM: Today…oh my god. So, I know many of you will have read Lyle’s review of My Immortal, read the piece or just heard of the terribleness of that…said fic…

Biskit: …Wow…just cut me off like that every time. I’ll be fine, don’t you worry…

CZM: This one…this is a treat. Imagine My Immortal in one chapter set in the Borderlands universe, written by a person who claims quite insultingly to be autistic. Seriously, EP does it, alongside 3/5 badfic writers. I’m aspie, and it pisses me off when people use it as a excuse for lazy or otherwise terrible writing. I happen to actually have been diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome, and while my writing isn’t of the same level as- say- Herr, it’s still pretty decent for someone whose only been writing and publishing fanfiction for two years.

Biskit: Now, we have to admit something: we both have a vendetta against this author. For one, he’s been very unreceptive to our attempts to ask if we can help, and has been downright racist at one point. I can tell you that while Minh has actually got Chinese family, he considers himself Australian. That still doesn’t make calling someone a ‘chink with bad breath’ (actual quote from the author, albeit with better grammar) acceptable. Not fucking kidding. He called my partner a chink with bad oral hygiene.

CZM: Thanks for reminding me…in any case, yeah: he’s been a asshole, and we don’t have anything in kind words to say about him/them. But despite this, we’re riffing his fiction, not the author. He’s like a less mature and less capable (if that could even be possible) version of EP. Imagine that for a second. Yeah. You wish you didn’t now, don’t you?

Biskit: We’ve gotten off track here, so let’s just get into what this is. For those of you who don’t know, Borderlands is a series of action RPG shooters set on a planet in the far future. Each game features a crack team of Vault Hunters, whose goal is to open alien vaults rumoured to contain shittons of loot and treasure. It’s gameplay is very centred around shooting and looting. There have been three ‘main’ games (Borderlands and it’s sequel Borderlands 2; as well as the spinoff ‘Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel’) as well as a mobile game (Borderlands Go) and a telltale games adaptation called ‘Tales from the Borderlands’. If you haven’t played, pick up a copy off Steam while it’s on sale. Pretty much every Christmas, they put it down from nearly $80 Australian to a fantastic price of around $20. This is for the GOTY edition of BL2 by the way, which features all the DLC, including 2 new Vault Hunters and four new mini-campaigns…

CZM: Ok, now you’re off track, AND you’re advertising a game. Not to mention that we are not affiliated with the company Gearbox, or any of it’s business partners.

Biskit: Aw…there goes my retirement benefit…anyway, this story is kinda the tamest of TAD’s stories…so let’s get into it!

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2068: Maya and Raider Chapter 11

Title: Maya and Raider
Author: 
Eclipsepheniox
Media: 
Video Game
Topic: 
Borderlands
Genre: 
Adventure/Romance
URL: Chapter 11
Critiqued by Delta XIII and BatJamags

D: Well, the plans I had for a Reader Submission Riff mostly fell through, but there is a silver lining here: this will instead be a collab riff between myself and Batjamags. So there’s that.

D: Also, this is (at time of writing), the halfway point of the fic!

D: Anyway, without further delay:

EVERYTHING WRONG

WITH

Maya and Raider

Chapter 11

(insert joke here)

Sorry about the long delay

B: EP thinks fanfiction is posted on a schedule. (1)

but I went to Scotland

B: EP inflicted himself on an unsuspecting sub-country? EP is a dick to Scotlands. (2)

and my cat had to be put down

B: Someone thought it was a good idea to give EP a cat. Poor thing. (3)

and college just started.

B: EP got into college. (4)

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