Suggestion Box

This is the place to leave your fic suggestions for future snarking!  Before posting please make sure you check out our current orphan list to see if the fic is already on there.  You can find a read-only version of that list here:

Orphan Fics

When making a suggestion, please comment with it to this page.  Please include the title, source(s) the fic is based on, a URL, and some explanation on why you think the fic is so bad in your comment.  If you want you can use this handy little submission form for your comment:


Note: All comments on this page will be deleted periodically when submissions are screened and added to our orphan fic list.


70 Comments on “Suggestion Box”

  1. MatriachalCerebralBorgirInAJar says:

    Title: I’ve Got My Spine
    Sources: Halo, Metroid

    I’ve got a handful of vertebrae and a headful of mad! That’s your spinal cord, baby! Dig it!

    Actually was inspired to go back and have a look over at this one after recently re-reading Love of a Spartan- seeing how it was the other super mushy (and kinda strange) fic I latched onto when I was a lil younger

    Seems to be pretty much dead now and the author was allegedly planning to rewrite it at some point, but having a second look at it makes me think it’d be worth digging into.

    …mostly looking at Sakai for this lol

    • AdmiralSakai says:

      I’m kind of tied up with LOAS and some of my own writing at the moment, but I’ll look into it.

  2. SuperFeatherYoshi says:
    Well well, look what I found…
    This is LITERALLY just Captain America 3, with a few OCs thrown in!

    • CrackedEgg says:

      How do i join Library of the Damned?

      • "Lyle" says:

        Check out the Enlistment Office page at the top. It has the information and guidelines for guest submission.

  3. Fishes says:

    Harry Potter and the Pureblood Supremicist. Every cliche ever shoved into one badly written fic. It’s dead but a serious cliche suckfest, plus there are so many redundancies there are redundancies in every chapter.

  4. Awesomenemo says:

    Title: Ranger: The Shadow of Westeros: The Siege of King’s Landing (And!) Ranger: The Ghost of the North: The Northern War for Independence
    Source(s): Game of thrones/ Middle-Earth: Shadow of Mordor
    URL: /
    Comments: Combine bad grammar with strange cardboard characters and the oddest ways to mess with a character’s prior abilities and you have this. Talion helping houses in GOT that have been messed with to the point of “Starks good! Circe bad!”

  5. SuperFeatherYoshi says:

    A long, long time ago. Crowbar asked me if there is a story that got facts about my own country wrong. Well, I’ve found it. The latest chapter alone is so ignorant and naive that it almost makes me laugh. Apparently, the Chinese President believes that the American military “can’t fight its way out of a paper bag” and that the Communist Party single handedly repelled the Japanese back during WWII.

  6. Moon Hunter says:

    Ever considered redoing the RWBY and Bloodborne crossover- ‘The Final Hunt’? It seems as though the user had taken down their fic for a rewrite and posted it back up, amongst other things.

    ^^There’s even a ‘redo’ in the name. How… shameless.

  7. AdmiralSakai says:

    So I was idly wandering around one of the Creepypasta Wikis the other day when I came across something much, much worse than another lost episode or The Killer clone:

    That’s right, there is My Little Pony grimdarkfic on the creepypasta wikis!

    Highlights include an incompetent halfway-evil Celestia; rapey, asinine ‘mind games’ with Discord; Twilight being gratuitously tortured in front of Celestia; and purple prose.

    • SuperFeatherYoshi says:

      …Why the HELL is My Little Dashie of all things on that site?!

      • AdmiralSakai says:

        Why the hell is anything on these sites?

  8. SuperFeatherYoshi says:

    Typical Mass Effect Gary Stu humanity… Except this humanity is replaced with the ZOMBIES from Left 4 Dead.

    • AdmiralSakai says:



    Author’s summary:
    Katrina the Doctors long lost daughter is left on earth, just found out she was a timelord and then the suprise of being the Doctors daughter.
    she struggles with her painful life and the fact that she’s stuck on earth without the Doctor, trying to find answers and longing for her newly discovered dad.
    she wonders about how much he cares knowing that he does but needing evidence when her whole life doesn’t make sense. she hides the secret from everyone she knows. wishing somehow they would find out who she really is or for someone to believe her.
    this Is the story of katrinas life.

    Essentially it’s your basic Doctor Who fanfic starring an overpowered mary-sue self insert, only the author actually believes that it happened to her and literally started a homegrown cult based on her supposed “experiences” (which I was part of for almost TWO YEARS.) She’s sort of a Tara Gilesbie meets L. Ron Hubbard sort of person. Anyway, please get her and get her good.

    • GhostCat says:

      She’s sort of a Tara Gilesbie meets L. Ron Hubbard sort of person.

      Oh, that sounds ominous.

    • andiliteman says:

      Read the first couple of chapters. It’s a bit slow, but nicely written. I can smell the Sue, though. One of the typical “The universe revolves around me” type characters. While there’s at least one of those characters per season on Doctor Who, apparently every enemy of the Doctor is infiltrating her school in a plot to murder her.
      Or she has some narcissism and paranoia, with a grandiose self-delusion about being a Time Lord.

      Doesn’t look too bad. Can I have it?

      • Absolutely, my guy.

      • And don’t worry– it gets worse.

  10. SuperFeatherYoshi says:
    From the author of that stupid L4D story. Oh my god, this is dumb beyond belief…

  11. AdmiralSakai says:

    Came across this while browsing finfiction for a different project; I’m sick to death of creepypasta but boy oh boy is this thing terrible:

    It begins with Princess Luna burning herself to death in a bathtub and everypony just leaving her body there for three months, and somehow manages to go downhill from there.

  12. ForTheLoveofAllThingsGood says:

    The first chapter (which is called a “prologue” even though I don’t think the Author knows what that means) is messy. Plus tries to deal with suicide in a way that makes it seem like cheap drama.

  13. BatJamags says:

    So… There’s a fic. I’m posting this late at night in part because I’m hoping that any comments that go up tomorrow morning will push this out of the recent comments box and make it so that no one sees this. That way, you won’t have to know about or read this fic. This is one of the fics I found while lurking on a different riffing community, but their riff was a round-robin-style group riff that ended up very disjointed.

    Just to be clear, I’m mainly putting this here because if you want to talk about the most horrible fanfiction ever penned, well, here it is. I don’t actually expect anyone to read it.

    Title: Hogwarts Exposed and sequels
    Sources: Harry Potter, the author’s sick, disgusting mind
    URL: I managed to avoid vomiting long enough to find the Yahoo! group –

    So, I should give you some warnings about this: If it triggers you, it’s in this fic or one of its sequels. Period.

    Yes, that too.

    And that.

    Especially that.

    Basically, imagine if EclipsePheniox were more long-winded and pretentious (not to mention self-righteous), and then make all the characters in his fics minors. And stretch that out over a four-fic, eighty-eight-chapter (across all four) shitfest.

    So please, for the love of all things holy, don’t riff this. Unless you do. But seriously. You probably shouldn’t even read it.

    • GhostCat says:

      So please, for the love of all things holy, don’t riff this. Unless you do. But seriously. You probably shouldn’t even read it.

      Saying something like is waving a red cape in front of a bull ’round here.

      • BatJamags says:

        OK, so maybe my reasons for posting this partially include the fact that I’m a sadistic asshole who wants to see more riffers suffer, but still.

    • Angie says:

      *frightened, Angie clicks on fic*

      • BatJamags says:

        I’m sorry.

  14. mattmanthecomet says:

    Title: Starting a New Life
    Source(s): RWBY, Various Marvel properties, Star Wars, and apparently Transformers.
    Comments: This fic has been making the rounds on the ol’ Protectors of the Plot Continuum Discord over the past few days (That is to say, I’ve been copying and pasting paragraphs in and reacting to them with the rest of the Discord). Basically, “Darth Vader,” who goes by Parker Anderson, ends up in Remnant and apparently has multiple power sets from the Marvel Universe (Spidey and Ghost Rider, currently [please don’t let there be more. Please.] ). He then becomes the fifth member of team RWBY, and knocks up Yang. Oum help us.

    • mattmanthecomet says:

      Oh wait, he’s the Winter Soldier now (Actually the “White Fang Soldier” but it’s pretty much the same.)

    • mattmanthecomet says:

      A forewarning: Chapters tend to be cut off when posted, give it like, an hour or three and it will probably update

    • AdmiralSakai says:

      “Darth Vader,” who goes by Parker Anderson

      Well that’s… unusual.

      ends up in Remnant and apparently has multiple power sets from the Marvel Universe (Spidey and Ghost Rider, currently [please don’t let there be more. Please.] ).

      Ho hum, another Gary Stu…

      He then becomes the fifth member of team RWBY

      Par for the course, really.

      and knocks up Yang.


      • mattmanthecomet says:

        It gets worse: Yang gets pregnant. With Twins.

    • BatJamags says:

      Oh Jesus fuck.

      So, is this crackfic or was someone really this insane? I tend to avoid anything that’s intentionally stupid, but I might be willing to take a crack (so to speak) at it if it’s sincere.

    • BatJamags says:

      Basically, “Darth Vader,” who goes by Parker Anderson, ends up in Remnant

      Alright, so his alias is a name that doesn’t fit in Star Wars or RWBY. Did he make a pitstop on Earth? Is this some Subject 23 Universe-hopping bullshit?

      and apparently has multiple power sets from the Marvel Universe (Spidey and Ghost Rider, currently [please don’t let there be more. Please.] )

      OK, but why though? I mean, I get having an overpowered Stu (kind of), but why those specific power sets?

      He then becomes the fifth member of team RWBY,

      Y’know, I haven’t even read much RWBY fanfic, and this is already a pet peeve of mine: the teams have four members and four letters which spell out a color. What would this even be, RWBYV? RWVBY? RPWBY? RAWBY? I can’t even begin to make a color out of those letters.

      and knocks up Yang.

      Oh, goddammit.

      “White Fang Soldier”

      So, he was captured by the White Fang, which is run by Adam Taurus…

      Let me guess: they lured him into a hand-choppers’ convention.

      It gets worse: Yang gets pregnant. With Twins.

      Oh, come on!

      Does it say something bad about me that I need to actively hold myself back from dropping everything and reading this clearly shitty fanfic right now?

    • mattmanthecomet says:

      Add another Marvel-verse super to the character! The most recent chapter adds Deadpool’s Regen Factor and Fourth Wall Breaks. Not only that, but he’s the Grim Reaper now!

      • BatJamags says:

        Alright, fine. I’ll read it. I don’t know why I do these things to myself, but I’m going to read it.

    • BatJamags says:

      Oh, for the love of-

      I finally made it to the guy’s backstory, and everything about it is the worst thing ever.

  15. BatJamags says:

    I keep finding these things, and it would be a service to humanity crime not to share them with you guys. I do still apologize, though. This one might be too graphic to make for a good riff, but I suppose we’ve had Celebrian and EP’s bullshit (I’m specifically thinking of the story who’s title I have too much self-respect to even copy-paste into my comment) on here.

    Title: Blood Rose
    Source: RWBY (Sorry, Andy)

    Here, folks, is one of a group of fics I like to call the TV Tropes Fanfic Recommendations Page’s Greatest Hits (It’s not very catchy, I know)!

    Let’s see here… we’ve got rape, cannibalism, and murder, committed by a minor and described in graphic detail from the victim’s point of view.

    In the first chapter.

    I specify this because I didn’t read the second. Or the other sixty-two. Yes, sixty-four in total. As of thirteen months ago, so I think/hope it’s over.

    Oh, and by the way? The author’s username is Rapey Lemons. Yes, you read that right.

    I’m ashamed of the three views I gave this story: the first because I didn’t know it would be that bad, the second because I wanted to verify that the author’s name was what I thought it was, and the third to get the URL for you guys.

    Putting Hogwarts Exposed here was sort of a combination dare/warning, but this one I actually wouldn’t necessarily mind seeing riffed. I just don’t have the stomach to do it myself. I suppose I could give the author the benefit of the doubt and say that Psycho!Ruby is the villain of the piece and what’s seen in the first chapter is a one-off, but the way it’s written and the author’s username aren’t giving me confidence.

    It apparently has an imitator (TVTFRP’s Greatest Hits strikes again!) but I haven’t investigated that one yet.

    • BatJamags says:

      I checked the freak’s profile. Not much, but apparently he’s got a Frozen fic called *snerk* Heroes and Villains.

      • Hiraani says:

        Is it too late to call dibs on this?

      • BatJamags says:

        Nobody else has said anything about it, so I assume it’s not.

    • BatJamags says:

      Read part of the imitator. It’s a little disjointed but has nothing really substantial enough to riff. It’s also not that disturbing (it tries a more traditional and less creepy-on-a-meta-level approach to the psycho!protagonists but isn’t even scary in a horror movie kind of way, it’s just flat).

  16. AdmiralSakai says:

    Here’s some creepypasta I wanted to include in the Halloween special but didn’t have time for:

    The Haunting Melody by TheFlutist:
    I think this thing was literally written by a ten-year-old child. Mechanically it’s… well, Ok-ish by creepypasta standards (one character ‘rapes’ another in a rope), it’s just that none of it makes any goddamn sense. Learning black magic from YouTube videos! Haunted band instruments! Heinous gaps in logic! Spider condos!

    Jeff is Back by Achatohn:
    Because Jeff the Killer really needed to be more of a goddamn Gary Stu, he is now a L33T HAXX0R and has the ability to teleport across the Atlantic Ocean. Also, it rips a picture off of the SCP Foundation website.

    Charlie the Killer by “Megan and Charlotte” (who apparently don’t have account(s?) anywhere):
    A horrible Jeff clone, NSFW for its tactless handling of obesity and the bullying associated therewith. This is one of the more obvious shipfics, and ends with the main character carrying Jeff’s spawn.

    Blood Whistle by Dubiousdugong: A haunted Mario game story that has become a minor meme in the Pastaverse for its purple prose. Apparently the author is also a serial plagiarist although this appears to be an ‘original’ work.

  17. AdmiralSakai says:

    I think I just found When You’re Strange‘s bigger, boringer sister.

    According to the description, this thing causes panic attacks.

    • BatJamags says:

      Oh, holy shit. I’ve been looking for an ME fic to riff, so I’ll take a look at this one later. If someone else wants it, it’ll be a while before I can get to it and even longer before it’ll go up, so I can find something else.

      • AdmiralSakai says:

        Having skimmed through it in a bit more detail, I can say it’s not as bad as the description makes it out to be (possibly because the author edited or rewrote it?). Still not good by any means, but not terrible either.

        There was another story by… uh… this person called Freedom In Chains that was not only everything WYS was and more but was also balls-to-the-wall insane to boot, but about two hours after I left a negative review the whole thing was deleted. If you can find it on a backup or archive, though, you are more than welcome to it.

  18. Jeggetts says:

    I’ve seen the fic in the suggestion box a lot, and I’ve always wanted to see it riffed.

    I’ve, hesitantly, started one myself, but I’m not as well versed in Sci Fi tech as others here, so I feel I would be missing some key parts to call bullshit on. Well, other than humanity being stupidly overpowered as usual. Really, other than being another human wank fic, do you guys even think it’s riff worthy?

  19. AdmiralSakai says:

    Imagine, if you will, that When You’re Strange was an entire author.

    Her name is Siha Krios.

    • Herr Wozzeck says:

      Yeah, I remember her! I wanted to snark one of her older fanfictions, but I don’t think the one I wanted was there.

  20. TheMaskedReader says:

    Title: Chunin Exam Day
    Source: Naruto
    Comments: This is a messed up Naruto fanfiction. It doesn’t suffer from bad grammar, but it suffers from so many other issues. It basically turns Naruto into a bipolar psychopath. I can’t really explain the magnitude of this, so here is someone else doing it,

    Unofficially, I recommend looking up all of Perfect Lionheart’s works to give them a good riffing.

  21. Auragongal says:

    So… I wrote a Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure fic, and well, still writing it but um… I really wouldn’t mind I it got sporked. Honestly not sure if it’s good or bad, but, here’s a link for you guys to just… judge for yourself?

  22. SuperFeatherYoshi says:

    Yet ANOTHER Fallout/ME human wank crossover. Except this one has so many unintentionally funny moments that it’s actually kinda cute.

  23. agigabyte says:

    Got a bunch of warning signs from this description. Didn’t read most of the five, but it seems as though the author is trying really hard to be funny.

    You’re a rookie YouTuber who is known for her snarky attitude, contagious laughter, hilarious gaming commentary (or lack thereof), stunning features, and of course, your childhood friend, Markiplier. You’re doing great with your channel and a stable subscriber count and fanbase, but what happens when your dark past comes back to haunt you? Will you collapse and everything you’ve worked so hard for go down with you? Or will a certain someone help you pick up the pieces of your broken beginnings?

    • GhostCat says:

      At least it’s not more Septiplier fanfiction. Do you have a link?

      • agigabyte says:

        I even told myself, “Don’t forget to link this fic, agig.”

        • GhostCat says:

          Might want to check the link again, this one looks like a YouTube/Assassin’s Creed crossover. Also, why is that a thing?

        • agigabyte says:

          There, found it.

        • GhostCat says:

          And of course it’s a Reader fic.

        • agigabyte says:

          Looks like a job for Whirlybat von Flubbertybubble.

        • GhostCat says:

          Oh, look what I found on the second chapter – there’s the standard “[y/n] = your name”, etc. key and then a little note underneath;

          You are half Japanese in this fic, but if you don’t want to be, that’s totally fine! An alternative option is for you to speak Japanese fluently.

          Apparently your ethnic origins are a matter of personal choice and not, y’know, based on where your family comes from. Also, there’s gratuitous Japanese.

          I’m tempted to claim it, but fics that have real people in them just weird me out. Especially when they are Reader fics.

        • agigabyte says:

          Yeah, real-person fics are the creepiest type of fic that I wouldn’t call disgusting, in my opinion. They’re just creepy.

        • GhostCat says:

          It can also be considered libel or defamation of character, which raises legal questions as well. It’s one thing to ascribe thoughts and opinions to a fictional character, but things can get sticky when it’s an actual person.

  24. notchristopherwalken says:

    I’ve read all of sadnesseggxxx’s stories. I actually found Library of the Damned through googling Scarlet and looking for dramatic readings/MST. I really would like to see at least one more torn to bits and pieces with snark here. I really don’t care which, but I’ll suggest one of my personal favorites just to be helpful.

    Title: Tris Joins Dauntless
    Source: Divergent
    Comments: Some fanfiction is so bad that it has to be seen to be believed. I could write for hours and never come up with every single problem here. At least it’s short, I guess.

    • GhostCat says:

      I don’t really know anything about the Divergent series, but I’ll take a look.


      …I think my eyes are bleeding. Are all their fics like this?




      Yes; yes, they are. Even by tryhard troll standards, this author is trying way too hard to be a troll.

      • agigabyte says:

        I’m not entirely sure I could riff this. There’s just so little of anything beyond tryhard-bad English.

        • GhostCat says:

          You could maybe clump together a handful from the same source materials and riff them as a group, but yeah – these fics are about as substantial as dollar store toilet paper.

      • Is it really even appropriate to riff trollfics? I mean, those are MEANT to be bad. Riffing them would be like feeding the troll…

        • GhostCat says:

          Depends of the fic, really. Some of them are fun to riff, but most are just a trial to even attempt to read through.

  25. Not you again , CRB ? ! says:

    Anything and everything written by –

    That is , if fans of Harry Potter don’t mind reading bad fics with as much if not more copy and paste song lyrics than actual story .

  26. Not you again , CRB ? ! says:

    And / or these for the Invader Zim fans –

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