Hello, dear Patrons! Hope you’re having a great Good Friday, if that’s your thing.
This is the final (for now) chapter-lump! Hoo-ray!
In the last chapter-lump, which was actually just one chapter, Dumbass and
Crazy Casey finally got to the island and decided to explore the dangerous alien wilderness in the dark. They did take the exosuit, which was smart, but decided to leave it and go on foot for most of their explorations, which was stupid. While exploring one of the abandoned Degasi bases, Crazy Casey fell and seriously fucked up her leg. She should have died while Dumbass ran back and forth to the Cyclops for a bit, but she only became conveniently unconscious so that Dumbass could heroically carry her back to the Cyclops – which is what he should have done in the first place.
Now, to the fic!
Chapter 11: Medical Attention
And again, starting exactly where the last chapter ended.
We made it onto the cyclops, she was still out cold in my arms.
And probably starting to get cold and a bit stiff, considering the amount of blood she’s lost.
After faffing around for close to five thousand words, this chapter of the so-called “Sex” ‘fic does indeed contain a money shot. Featuring technicolor horses. You have been warned.
Hello hello, all you patrons!
I’m back with some more of Fall to Equestria, the story of Loser Martin’s quest to inappropriately touch the entire primary cast of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Last time, they had a meet-and-greet about human culture at the Golden Oaks library where it was revealed that six capable and intelligent mares had no idea what the word ‘omnivore’ means, the main character traded in his tragic past for a dickshirt, and Rarity got off.
While Spike watched in envy.
Which, alarmingly, was the most in-character thing to have happened.
It makes just as much sense in context.
Bad Touch Counter: 8
All of that, of course, brings us to Chapters Five and Six, “the party” parts one and two.
Title: Heroes and Villains
Author: Horrible’s Igor
Media: Television / Movies
Topic: Buffy: The Vampire Slayer / Kitchen Sink
URL: Heroes and Villains (Now Defunct)
Critiqued by TacoMagic and Eliza
“Taco stayed up too late playing Breath of the Wild last night. Again.”
Look, I can’t help it. I say ‘five more minutes and I’ll stop’ and then the temporal anomaly in my living room acts up and it’s two hours later.
“And you’re certain that temporal flux is the most reasonable explanation as to why you keep getting to bed late?”
I can think of no other plausible explanation.
“‘Kay! Recap! Last week Salix Tech announced their new robot line in a plot arc that is in no way a complete ripoff of I, Robot! And then we got to read Team Buffy react to this announcement by stating the obvious for about ten minutes. That was pretty much it.”
Somehow it felt like there was even less.
Title: The Girl
Topic: The Outsiders
URL: Chapter Six
Critiqued by Angie
Sponsored by the fact that someone could get offended by Soc and Greaser™.
As I am sitting on my couch reviewing two fics at once, working on Brego’s Mistress part four, I am constantly reminded that eventually I can take a break from reviewing the terrible Lord of the Rings fic and go towards the slightly less terrible Girl.
THAT SURE AIN’T SAYING MUCH THOUGH HUH.
Anyway, this chapter is “luckily” twice as long as the former, which…at least it gives me more to say. So without further ado, let’s see from whose perspective this chapter is told.
Title: “Three Generations”
Fandom: Enchanted Forest Chronicles
Genre: Family and hurt/comfort
URL: Chapter One
Critiqued by eatpraylove
I briefly considered doing this as a PPC mission, but didn’t for three reasons: The chapters don’t have much meat on them, I have enough fics lined up already, and I couldn’t think of a reason for my agents to feel the same protective attachment to the Enchanted Forest series that I do. Also, hi, I’m eatpraylove on the PPC Board. I’ve poked around the halls of the Library plenty of times but never thought to get a WordPress account.
Moving on, let’s start with the canon basics. The Enchanted Forest Chronicles is a fantasy kid’s book series by Patricia Wrede, focusing on Princess Cimorene of Linderwall. Linderwall is your standard Disney-style safe, prosperous fairy-tale kingdom, and the rest of Cimorene’s family—mom, dad, and six older sisters—are your standard Disney royalty, the sisters in particular.
Cimorene wants none of it, and runs away from home to avoid an arranged marriage with the equally generic Prince Therandil in the first book. Thanks to her lack of a plan and a sarcasm-blind talking frog (I swear this makes sense in context), she ends up living and working with Kazul, a dragon who’s been looking for a new princess. Kazul doesn’t mind that Cimorene isn’t a typical princess (Cimorene can cook Kazul’s favorite desserts, for example), and both of them eventually gets roped into a big mystery involving the King of the Dragons, a stone prince, Morwen the witch, and several wizards.
The whole series turns fairy tales and fairy-tale tropes on their heads—the wizards melt when you throw buckets of water (specifically soapy water and lemon juice) at them, for example, not Morwen. It’s great fun to read and deserves all the love it gets and then some.
So naturally, bunches and bunches of folks on the Internet have written their own stories about it with predictably mixed results. Thanks to Sehkmet over on the PPC Board for bringing this to my attention. The first chapter is literally a “don’t like, don’t read, please review” author’s note, so I’m going to the first one with actual substance to it.
Also, this riff will contain spoilers for the entire series, so if you’re sensitive about that sort of thing, go get the books and read them. If you’re not, or you’ve already read all of them, strap in, ready your weapon of choice, and put on your coolest sunglasses.
*sits in comfy riffing chair*
*sips hot cocoa* Ahhh, perfect.
1729: Legendary Adventurers, Futuristic Saviors – Chapter Fourteen, Part Three (WARNING: Angry ranting)Posted: April 8, 2017
Title: Legendary Adventurers, Futuristic Saviors
Topic: Princess Mononoke
Url: Chapter Fourteen
Critiqued by SC, Sir Paulo Rori and Scarlet of Mesyth
~WARNING: BIG BOUNCY SQUISHY AWESOME BOOBY TITS! :D~
~Alright, that’s the last time I ever let Glasses write a Not Safe For Work alert.~
Hello, and welcome back to “Legendary Adventurers, Futuristic Saviors,” by Stone-Man85! I’m your host, SC, joined by Sir Paulo Rori and Scarlet of Mesyth, and last time, Alex continued to prove that he is a walking contradiction of himself by claiming to be both experienced with, and enjoying outdoor survival, all the while bitching and moaning about it to the point where San finally had to shove his shit back into his own face to shut him up. And Stone-Man85 would have you believe that Alex is a sympathetic character.
This week, unfortunately, is more of the same, but the upside is that we get to see Team Villain for a brief moment to help make the horse pill that is Alex and Sannabe’s “budding romance” somewhat less of a choking hazard to swallow.
Scarlet: Like a single sip of lukewarm tea?
Paulo: Or perhaps a sharp inhale to open the throat for a single moment.
Dude, it probably rates as low as a slow drip of room temperature tap water.
Welcome back to another chapter of meandering fic featuring the “exciting” adventures of
Crazy Casey and Dumbass. In the last chapter-cluster they imploded the Seamoth, found an exosuit, squabbled a bit, and managed to find a frickin’ island after weeks of being on the planet.
And now, on to the fic!
Chapter 10: The Floating Island
Which is once again picking up exactly where the last chapter left off.
“What…is…THAT!” I yelled in fear.
Dunno. What are you looking at? Because all I see is the Void – and it keeps staring back into me, which gets very annoying.