1902: Secrets Revealed – Chapter 2 & 3

Title: Secrets Revealed
Author: River Styx1201

Media: TV Show
Topic: Danny Phantom
Genre: Friendship/Romance
URL: Chapter 3

URL: Chapter 4

Critiqued by Ghostcat




Hello, dear Patrons, and welcome to another installment of this epic Sueness Danny Phantom fic. In the last two chapters, we were introduced to Isis Sue, who has a whole Egyptian theme going on; back/shoulder tattoos of Bastet and Apep with accompanying hieroglyphics, elaborate eye makeup that resembles the Eye of Horus, as well as her name. I assume that the overload of Egyptian iconography is a set-up for Isis Sue to be a reincarnated goddess, or High Priestess, or something, but who knows.

To the fic!

Chapter 2: Hanging Out

I assume this is a reference to Sam’s invitation to Isis Sue.

“I’ll see you when I get home,” Isis said as she grabbed her keys off of the hooks beside the door.

The keys to her Jaguar, which is something every sixteen-year-old should have.

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1901: Dragon Souls – Chapter Two

Title: Dragon Souls
Author: A Dumbass
Media: Video Games
Topic: Skyrim and Dark Souls
Genre: Adventure, Supernatural
URL: None Available
Critiqued by Leider Hosen

Hello Patrons, welcome back to the “Hosen Suffers for his Sins” party! Drinks are hard and complimentary, you’re going to need them. I’m drunk as FUCK already *chug chug chug chug* There’s also chocolate, popcorn, chocolate popcorn, and a few dubious munchies I borrowed from Syl without her knowledge or permission.

-Hosen lifts a glowing bag of squiggly live squids salted with pepper, uranium, and extremophile bacteria from somewhere around Kuiper Belt- If this kills me, I can get out of doing the Riff! *nom*

…Dammit! It’s spicy and delicious.

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1900: It Started with That Girl – Oneshot

Title:  It Started with That Girl
Author:  sheaflower98
Media: Cartoon
Topic: Tom and Jerry
Genre: Drama/Humor
URL: It Started With That Girl
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Hello and welcome back!  Originally I was going to feature some of the Thomas the Tank Engine smut I found, but decided against it.  There’s only so much homosexual train sex I can subject you all to, so I think some things are better off never bringing to light.

Well, at least not until next week, anyway.

So, in lieu of of getting to see Thomas getting railed by Diesel Ten, I’ve brought you the Tom and Jerry fic “It Started With That Girl.”  That Girl is probably GirlWoman, so we’re all very excited.

I mean, she is most definitely not a Sue, right!?

Layla. Layla Katherine Munson.


She’s an odd one. She stands up for Mouse/Cat friendship.

… right?  Please?

She eats fish and cheese.

I suppose that’s better than the damn panda who keeps shooting up our bar.

What else? Oh, yeah. She’s half cat and half mouse.

Well shit.

Eventual Tom/Jerry.

Of course.  You can’t have a Tom and Jerry fic without those two going on a homosexual romp, right?  Not to say that there’s anything wrong with a homosexual romp, but Tom is like ten-times the size of Jerry.  The logistics are both unlikely and/or extremely painful from Jerry’s end of things.

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1899: The Lone Wolf of the Normandy — Chapter 18, Chapter 19, and SSJ Lone Wolf’s Descent Into Madness

Title: The Lone Wolf of the Normandy
Author: SSJ Lone Wolf
Media: Games
Topic: Halo / Mass Effect
Genre: Sci-Fi/Adventure
URL: Chapter 18
Critiqued by
AdmiralSakai and JLT. Troy Fisher

This chapter of The Lone Wolf of the Normandy contains potential flamebait in the form of the author flaming his critics. He’s not very good at it, but manages to bring up most of the Standard Points of Internet Vitriol nonetheless.

*AdmiralSakai strides back through the now clean and well-lit hallways of RIFFCON, dressed once again in cargo pants and a neatly-pressed lab coat and carrying a pad of graph paper.*

All right. I haven’t seen any of those brain-eating zombies since I installed the new spam filter; all the bathrooms and staff areas have been re-stocked with fresh boxes of facial tissue and now that Nightmare Moon has been re-banished they should stay that way; all the copper piping has been reinstalled and I talked to Slenderman’s legal department about having Lizzie reassigned to Hogwarts-In-England where she belongs; and it turns out that I was perfectly able to get rid of Deadsun with just a Level 70 Baptist, a Level 62 New Ager, and a few licensed electricians. So it looks like we’re finally back on track to-

*Sakai turns the corner to the control room and stops dead. Troy Fisher is sitting in front of the viewport with a hollow, dead-eyed expression and an open bottle of Scotch on the desk next to him.*

It’s… it’s back, sir.”


No no no no no no no no no. Lone Wolf is over. It’s dead, I killed it, we do not have to go through with this nonsense again!


Hello hello all you patrons, and welcome back once again to The Lone Wolf of the Normandy.
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1898: Betrayal – Chapter Five

Title: Betrayal
Author: Darksakudragon
Media: Anime
Topic: Naruto
Genre: Fantasy/Adventure
URL: Chapter Five
Critiqued by Lyle

Hello, lovelies!

*flounces into the room with a giant mug of eggnog in her grip*

Welcome back to Betrayal!  And speaking of betrayals, all my helpers abandoned me this week when they found out I’d be doing this fic instead of PB:LiW.  As I’m on my own, I figured I’d need some foritifcation to make it through.

*sits down in her chair and sets the mug on the desk before pulling a bottle of Fireball Whiskey from her desk drawer*

This should do it!

*adds a generous glug to her eggnog then takes a big swig from her mug*

Ah yessssss.

Now that I’m ready to go, let’s recap.  Sakura encountered a couple of demon children and they all exited the forest into the forest, while Naruto et al ate ramen and then went to… someone’s… house.  Sakura may or may not have teleported into the scene to hit Naruto.  The details are about as muddled as the author’s notes are prolific.

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1897: Padme-Series: Clone Trooper – Chapter Four

Title: Padme-Series: Clone Trooper
Author: Darth Sith’ari
Media: Film
Topic: Star Wars
Genre: None given, other than the fact that it’s an AU
URL: Chapter Four
Critiqued by BatJamags (BadJamags and Jamags)

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your guest host, BatJamags…

Jamags: And I’m back.

And I’m just happy he didn’t call the DRD again by saying he’s the guest guest host.

*Alarms blare*

Jamags: You’re not very smart, are you?

It’s not like I have to deal with it. Get moving, minion.

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1896: Secrets Revealed – Prologue & Chapter 1


Title: Secrets Revealed
Author: River Styx1201
Media: TV Show
Topic: Danny Phantom
Genre: Friendship/Romance
URL: Chapter 1
URL: Chapter 2
Critiqued by Ghostcat





Hello, dear Patrons, and welcome to the beginning of a new fic!

Now that I’ve gotten the skeleton sex, animatronic ennui, and general tentacle weirdness out of my system (which is one of those sentences that will only ever make sense in the Library) it’s time for a fic that contains the scariest of all literary creations – the Mary Sue.

:waits for screams of terror to subside:

Now, we do tend to throw around the term ‘Sue’ in the Library quite frequently, but this one is a genuine, old-school Mary Sue. The fic itself uses Danny Phantom as a source material, but I’ve already covered the basics in other riffs so I’ll spare you the SC-style infodump and get right to the summary.

When a new girl shows up who is smarter than the average resident of Amity Park, will Danny be able to keep his secret from her. Or more important, will she be able to keep hers from him. I only own the OC’s and Plot. Credit for Show and Show Characters go to Butch Hartman. Songs and Brand credit goes to their creators. Please enjoy and Review. :)

Already my finely honed Librarian senses are tingling; I smell a Sue in the works. And possibly a song-fic, which is always ‘fun’.

Secrets Revealed

Prologue: Rumor

I think that was an album by Fleetwood Mac released in 1977.

Danny, Tucker and Sam were walking through the halls of Casper High when they over heard a group of kids talking about a new student and her father. “I saw them going into the principal’s office,” one of the students said as she reached into her locker to pull out a composition book.

Which is weird because usually new students are welcomed by the cafeteria staff first.

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