Welcome, best beloved Patrons! I hope you have had the most wonderful of holidays, if you celebrate any in particular. Today is that most joyous of days!
:tosses confetti into the air:
LAST CHAPTER, BITCHES!!!
:Ghostie hugs Ishi:
“I am uncomfortable with physical displays of affection, Ghostcat-sama.”
So in case you couldn’t tell, dear Patrons, this is the very last chapter! :does Happy Dance: The last chapter was filled with pointless side-quests, but everyone eventually ended up outside Aku’s door via various means. I smell a big confrontation in the works with lots of improbable action, so sensei is on standby with a jumbo-sized box of sedative chocolates and a nice cup of coffee!
To the fic!
The demon they were desperately trying to locate was finally found behind an old wooden door at the top of an enormous stone tower.
The demon who is constantly surrounded by flames is located behind a wooden door.
“This could be problematic.”
With all the little inconsistencies in this fic, it really makes me wonder if the author has ever seen this show.
“Ghostcat-sama has been delayed due to unavoidable circumstances so it falls to me, your humble servant, to bring you another unworthy chapter of this Samurai Jack fic.”‘
“Please, ignore that.”
“As is customary, one has viewed the notes concerning the previous chapter, but there was very little information given. The group of hikers arrived at the palace of the oni Aku yet chose to camp outside its walls rather than venture inside. Jewel-san made known to Jack-san and her brother Jacob-san that she would accompany Jack-san back to his time period once the oni Aku was defeated.” :tilts notebook: “Ghostcat-sama has made several rather crude comments regarding this matter.”
“Without further ado, one humbly presents the next chapter in the tale!”
:more muffled thudding:
:faintly: Open the door, you son of a bitch!
“Please forgive the intrusion. To the fic!”
How-do, most magnificent Patrons!
We’re reaching the home stretch for this Samurai Jack fic, only a couple of chapters left after this one! If they are anything like the previous chapters, they will be a dull slog into pointlessness.
So what happened in the last chapter? Jewel-Sue violated Jack’s brain to learn about his past relationships, and everyone finally started on their trek through the desert! After a lackluster robotic snake attack, they group made camp where they feasted on the bags of sushi and green tea that Jewel-Sue brought along. Man-Candy drew his sister aside to let her know that he had noticed her making cow-eyes at Jack and to remind her that the samurai would be going back to his own time period. I’ve got a theory that Jewel-Sue’s going to go back to Jack’s time period with him, but sensei’s still skeptical.
“It seems unlikely she would abandon her family, friends, and entire way of life for one man.”
Do not underestimate the obsessive dedication of a fangirl.
— WARNING —
— THIS RIFF CONTAINS POSSIBLE TRIGGERS —
Greetings, dearest Patrons!
Ishi-sensei’s off doing whatever it is he does when he’s unsupervised – probably fondling his leeches – but I’m still slogging through this Samurai Jack fic, hoping that something approaching a goal appears soon.
When last we left the merry little band of Sues, Luna, Jewel-Sue and Jack met Serenity in the woods. The sudden appearance of robotic vultures brought a few seconds of action into the fic, but Jack was quickly rendered unconscious via shenanigans. He awoke in Jewel-Sue’s lavish (for the Void) bedroom, where she was tending to his already healed wounds. They then shared a brief kiss. Nausea ensued.
I’m really hoping that there will be a time-skip forward to something less nauseatingly saccharine. Let’s see if I’m right!
Jewel’s face burned with passion as Jack deepened his kiss with her.
Sweet mercy, he’s still kissing her. Dear fic gods, why must you torture me so?
Hello, delighted and delightful Patrons! I hope you’re well this fine Black Friday. I have returned with yet another chapter of this dreary mess. What happened last time? Well, let’s see … :reaches for notes: Ummm…Where are my notes?
:rummages through desk drawer, tossing items over shoulder:
Pencil, pencil, squirrel mercenary, eraser, C-4, box of paper clips, dry erase pen, miniature glaive, rubber bands, cuddle buddy, Infinity Stone, partially eaten sandwich, apple … Where the hell are my notes?
Shinobi-san, where … Wait, you’re not Shinobi-san.
:ninja bows: “Apologies, Ghostcat-sama, but the honorable liaison is indisposed at the moment.”
Indisposed? What does that mean? Y’all can handle twelve impossible things before breakfast without blinking an eye.
“Dragon-kun located the clan’s strategic tiramisu reserves.”
… Yeah, that’s a problem. I guess you’ll have to do. Do you happen to have my notes from last time?
“Of course.” :hands over notebook:
:reading: Luna cures her hangover with magical medicine and then she goes out to the forest, where Jewel-Sue is skinning-dipping to recharge herself, and then info-dumps on Jack.
I probably should re-word that a bit. Oh, well. To the next chapter!
Hello, my darling Patrons!
Wait, why does the “critiqued by” field say Ishi is here?
“Because I am.”
:Ghostie falls off chair:
Frickin’ ninjas. Sensei, what are you doing here?
“The honorable liaison has tasked me with keeping an eye on you today. Shinobi-san fears a repeat of yesterday’s … incident.”
I said I was sorry. Who knew cellphones were so flammable?
“One does not normally place one’s handphone in the microwave, Ghostcat-sama.”
I couldn’t figure out how to change the ringtone. It irked me.
“Shinobi-san politely requests that you limit such activities to your own handphone in the future.”
Yeah, yeah. Anyway, there’s only a few chapters left in this fic, and I am still patiently waiting for something to happen. The last chapter was big disappointment, with nothing but a passionless reunion between Man-Candy and Rosaline/Rosalina to show for it. Oh, and Luna got shit-faced at the bar. That’s pretty much everything.
On to the chapter!
Salutations and felicitations, Patrons!
I’ve returned with another chapter of adventure-less Adventure fic! Nothing of particular importance happened in the last chapter, except the revelation that Jewel-Sue was a complete asshole and didn’t tell anyone Man-Candy was alive, so I can skip the summary and go right into today’s offering!
But on the plus side, my constant complaining about how cold it is in here has borne fruit – the ninjas gave me my own kotatsu!
Now I’m toasty warm and ready to kick some literary ass!
Word spread throughout the village of Arab that Jacob Lee was alive, and the story of how he escaped from Aku’s castle became known to all of the townspeople.
Oh, good; thanks to the ever-reliable rumor mill the audience won’t have to sit through countless retellings of Man-Candy’s escape. Of course, given how stories evolve with each retelling, everyone will probably think he rode a twelve-headed hydra out of the palace.
Actually, can I read that fic instead of this one?