—FIC CONTAINS GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF RAPE—
—IT IS NSFW/NSFC—
Hello, my dear Patrons! I have a special little “treat” for you today to celebrate our fifteen hundredth post! (Although if you include our unnumbered posts, this is actually our sixteen hundred and forty-seventh.)
Remember that lovely little Beauty and The Beast yaoi fic from a while back (and by ‘a while’ I mean ‘March and April of 2015’) that won the award for Worst Romance in the Fourth Annual Sucktastic Awards? And do you also remember I mentioned the author had written an explicit Gaston/Adam lemon oneshot?
This is it!
Even though this oneshot was written at the same time as the previous fic, it’s treated as a completely different work and doesn’t tie into the other fic at all. Truthfully I don’t even know why the author wrote this, unless she was getting bored with her woefully inadequate attempt at developing a plot and just wanted to skip ahead to the sex. (Because who needs all that tedious romance nonsense in their Romance fic, right?) Writing this oneshot might have played a part in her abandonment of the other fic, since she had accomplished her goal of smashing her favorite characters together in an ill-conceived romance. It’s been lingering in my drafts for ‘a while’ now, and every so often I’ve taken it out, telling myself it couldn’t possibly be as bad as I remember, and then promptly shoved it to the back of my list.
I’m taking a big bullet for you today, folks.
It should go without saying, though, that as this is a lemon fic so there is a graphic depiction of sex. The sex in question follows the standard Yaoi “reluctant uke” plotline that relies heavily on the Rape as Love trope.
You should not read this fic.
I should not read this fic.
No one should read this fic.
Seriously, just go look at pictures of kittens for an hour. You’ll be better off.
:looks around at Patrons and sighs:
Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
To keep the Salacious Conclave at bay, I’ve drafted in Ishi-sensei to help me with the riff.
“One does not understand why one’s presence is required, Ghostcat-sama.”
Look, it was a choice between you or Crunchy and he’s thoroughly repulsed by the mere idea of mammalian genitalia existing, much less what goes on during mammalian genital-smooshing.
“Is it not also the day of Kurunchi-san’s macramé class?”
There’s that, too.
Hey there, fabulous Patrons!
I’m here with the last two chapters of this fic; that’s right, it’s my favorite part of a fic – the end.
:Ishi and Ghostie toss glitter into the air:
Ishi-sensei’s decided to return for this last chapter, I don’t really know why.
The clan feels an incident is imminent, Ghostcat-sama.”
Bunch of grump-buckets, the lot of you. But I can’t make you leave. I mean, I can, but I don’t feel like going through a respawn this early in the riff.
:bows: “You are most kind, Ghostcat-sama.”
…Just hand me my notes.
In the last pair of chapters …:flips through pages:… Not a lot happened. Belle was moved to a room, Gaston petted the Beast, the Beast remembered he was injured, and Lumiere tried to convince the Beast that he was falling for Gaston. The Beast was initially reluctant to believe this, despite the evidence of the rose’s petals falling off, and used his magic mirror to spy on Gaston – who happened to be with Belle at the time. The beast stormed out of his room, because his injuries only bother him when the plot demands it, and is probably going to go confront Gaston.
“The author uses many words to convey very little.”
Part of it wasn’t even hers, it was mangled plot regurgitation.
To the fic!
Standard greetings, beloved Patrons!
I’m here with more tender, juicy fic to whet your appetites! The last chapters were a long, dull slog featuring Gaston’s attempts at being seductive, a double scoop of plot regurgitation, and everyone’s favorite soap opera trope, Feigned Amnesia.
“That sounds like the name of one of those angry screaming people the young ones are so fond of.”
:shrugs: I’ve heard worse band names.
In case you can’t tell, dear Patrons, today I’m joined by my good buddy Ishi-sensei. The clan insisted, something about how I’m “too volatile” to handle these chapters alone.
“I believe the exact phrasing concerned your hobby of setting yourself on fire when feeling intense anger, Ghostcat-sama.”
Meh. Same difference. You’d think a clan of merciless assassins could handle a little fire.
“You have personally melted three Riffing Chambers, reduced five to irreparable rubble, and caused a Library-wide respawn event, Ghostcat-sama. There is also the matter of Fumiko-san’s begonias.”
That was not my fault! I told Gumdrop I was ticklish and he just wouldn’t stop. I still think they’re overreacting about the chambers, but I guess I’ll put up with you for now.
:Ishi bows: “One is whelmed by your generous nature, Ghostcat-sama.”
I think that should be “overwhelmed”, sensei.
“As you like, Ghostcat-sama.”
:Ghostie glares at Ishi:
I’m watching you, ninja-boy.
:eye-twitch: Great, an opening Author’s Note.
:Ishi discreetly preps a fire extinguisher:
Yeah…I feel as though this is an awkward yet cute chapter xD
…And? Is there a reason you’re telling the audience this? Ever?
“Perhaps the author is proud of their work.”
You wouldn’t say that if you’d read the first six chapters.
Hello, my sweet little Patrons!
I’ve got another pair of chapters ready to delight you, but first – the recap!
:flips through notes:
The Beast’s bullet wounds were examined by a talking stethoscope, who prescribed bed rest and absolutely nothing else. (I didn’t think about it at the time, but isn’t it strange that there just happened to be a doctor in the palace when the curse was cast?) Lumiere volunteered Gaston to be the Beast’s nurse for the two-plus weeks it will take these life-threatening wounds to heal. Later the sinister candelabra bribed Gaston with a pretty rock, convincing the hunter to seduce his former prey in order to break the curse. Gaston was initially reluctant, but succumbed to the power of the shiny.
On to the fic!
Hello again, dear Patrons!
I’m here with yet another chunk of steaming ficly goodness to serve you. Aren’t I wonderful?
Not much happened last time, as is par for the course with these nothing-narratives. Gaston was established as a terrible hunter who failed twice to bag a deer but instead shot the (oddly complacent) Beast twice. After prematurely celebrating his kill, Gaston found himself being choked by the Beast, until the creature was overcome by his injuries and collapsed. At the urging of a teapot and clock, Gaston carried the much larger and heavier Beast to the castle.
On to the fic!
Hello and Happy Friday the Thirteeth, my loverly Patrons!
We’ve arrived at the beginning of another fic! Such a happy moment, so full of promise and anticipation.
:takes a deep breath:
Ahh! I can smell it in the air!
:lapses into coughing fit:
Shinobi-san, I think it’s time to change the plug-in.
This new fic comes from ff.net’s The Beauty and the Beast section, and is both better and worse than the last TBatB fic I offered. It’s better because it doesn’t rip off the film line for line, but it is worse because it is only tangentially linked to the source materials. A few of you might remember that I mentioned to Herr in the comments section that there are Gaston/Beast yaoi fics out in the world, well guess what?
This is one of them.
You can tell because the summary is little more than a warning;
This is a yaoi! Warning! Yaoi means boy x boy, so if you dont like, dont read. pairing-Gaston and Adam beast please leave reviews OCC
Don’t worry, it is free of lemons – but if you are uncomfortable with homosexual relationships you might want to give this fic a pass.
Title: The Snow Beauty and the Ice Beast
Topic: Rise of the Guardians/Frozen/Beauty and the Beast
URL: Chapter 4
URL: Chapter 5
Critiqued by Ghostcat
Y’ello, dear Patrons!
I’m here with the second half of this … multi-fandom pile-up. In the last lump, we made it through the opening prologue of Disney’s Beauty and the Beast and meandered up to the point where Belsa’s father prepares to take his wood-chopping – or in this case, ice-block-chopping – machine to the fair.
:flips through notes:
Wow, one sentence is all I need to condense three chapters. I guess it’s pretty easy to write a summary when the fic’s all plot regurgitation.
To the fic!