Title: Mileena’s Humanity
Media: Video Game
Topic: Mortal Kombat
Critiqued by: ME-Iron-Maiden
WARNING: THIS INSTALLMENT CONTAINS AN EXPLICIT SEX SCENE AND THUS IS NOT SAFE FOR WORK. IT’S ALSO SHOWING UP IN THIS FINE ESTABLISHMENT SO IT IS ALSO NOT SAFE FOR YOUR SANITY IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT TOO MUCH.
Hello and welcome back to the riff of “Mileena’s Humanity”. I’m your host ME-Iron-Maiden and last time, we left off with our “hero” continuing to act like a douche rocket, Mileena suddenly having a breakdown and crying her eyes out and then acquiescing to sex with Ju’Stu. Ju’Stu, as you’ll recall tried to cave her skull in with a baseball bat, bosses her around, and force-feeds her shit that could well be toxic to her due to her unique physiology. So, of course, he’s “saved her life” and now she’s gonna bang him.
Before we begin, let’s post the current Darwin List for Ju’Stu.
- Performed an unprovoked attack on Mileena
- Isn’t afraid of the teeth she can easily use to rip him in half
- Seems intent on pissing her off
- Gives her weapons
- Invades her personal space when she’s pissed off
- Casually keeps his guard down around the psychotic cannibal
- Takes a commanding/bossy tone with a woman who is known as the Mad Empress of Outworld for her sadism and brutality to her own subjects
- Gets preachy with Mileena after finger-flicking her forehead
*opens a bottle of rocket-grade tihaar, sets the popcorn machine to overdrive, and cues up the porn music*
Let’s do this.