2439: The Purple Queen – Chapter 24Posted: September 29, 2019
Title: The Red Queen
Author: Dravyn LeCrux
Media: Web Series
URL: Chapter 24
Critiqued by BatJamags (BadJamags and GoodJamags)
Goffik Tearz of Blood
Uwaah count: 13
A Sentence Fragment count: 158
Roll Call count: 7
Vomit Boy count: 8
Hello once again, patrons! I’m your host, BatJamags…
GoodJamags: … And I’m your guest host, GoodJamags…
… And we’re back with the second-to-last chapter of The Red Queen. Last time, Sueby ran around threatening the dumbass conspirators. Onward!
An Academic Sentence Fragment count: 159
On second thought, can we go get coffee before we get started? If literally the first sentence of the chapter is a fragment, I know this is going to be a long one.
GoodJamags: Probably a good idea.
*Two ventis later*
GoodJamags: Alright, let’s get down to work.
Do we have to?
GoodJamags: It’s your riff, man.
Through the halls of this rather famous school have passed some of the greatest huntsmen and huntresses to ever walk the face of Remnant. This very school, a place where tens learn to be the greatest hunters they can, and also socialize with each other.
Hey, now. I know you overestimated Beacon’s student population before, but I think they could at least make it into triple digits.
GoodJamags: I think he meant “teens.”
*Sigh* Ah, the old dilemma of whether snark is lost on you or you’re just trying to make me angry.
GoodJamags: How many times do I have to tell you it’s the second one?
Keep at it until I believe you.
The campus, which has seen more celebrations, love, arguments, and learning than most could imagine. And yet it all meant almost nothing, for tonight blood would flow through it’s hallowed halls. The filthy, vile blood of those who had dirtied it’s great name with their petty grudges and issues.
*Snerk* Oh, they have issues alright.
GoodJamags: Like being out of character!
And all the fucking sentence fragments.
The Red Queen, Which Has Seen Fewer Complete Sentences Than Most Could Imagine count: 160
It was around dinner time when Blake received the message. After having spent the previous night awake and tormented in her bed, she slept through her classes all day, and was finally awake enough to enjoy eating her tuna when her Scroll beeped. The previous day’s message still fresh in her mind, Blake hesitated to open the mail. If- if it was another message like yesterday’s, then Blake wasn’t sure how well she could handle it. Hesitantly, Blake opened the Scroll and brought up the inbox. The sender was unknown, with a few “?”s in place of a name, and a black shadowy outline for the face. No subject or anything. Slowly, Blake inched her fingers closer to the screen, ready to open the message. And when she had, she’d regretted it instantly.
They’d sent her the link to a fanfic. It was called The Red Queen, and it really sucked.
What do you think I’ve been talking about for twenty-three-and-change riff installments, huh? I’m telling you how it sucked.
Someone knew. Someone knew her secret.
It’s Sueby. You are already aware that this is the case.
The secret that she and the others had so swore to never so much as utter, even to her better judgment. And yet now someone knew.
The Secret Sentence Fragment count: 161
This was it.
It was the end for her.
If she were reported, she would be kicked out of Beacon. Her attempt to escape from her past having been undone by her own hands. She was loathe to, but Blake knew she had no other option. She had to go out and meet this person, whoever they were. And judging by the list of those who received the message, all of the others would be coming too. It’s not like any of them could refuse.
Trying to do so would likely end up exactly how any of them would have thought, with their expulsion and possible imprisonment.
Given how she’s been acting, I think Weissome McSchneevil might still be all like “We don’t know anything’s going on! You’re a dolt/brute/idiot/some other canned insult.”
With her appetite vanishing faster than a plate of sugar put before Nora, Blake got up, took her tray, and the remnants of her meal, and tossed it out. It didn’t matter now. Nothing did. Her life was over, and even if she tried convincing herself otherwise, that maybe she still had a shred of hope, she knew deep down that she was completely and irrevocably fucked.
Any consistency of tone this narration might have had is also completely and irrevocably fucked.
Exiting the cafeteria in a daze, Blake almost didn’t notice her teammate running up to her in a frenzy. Stopping in front of her was Weiss, apparently as shaken as Blake felt, at least as far as she could see. Instead of her usual impeccable attire, Weiss’ hair was in a messier ponytail than usual with several strands poking around. Wrinkles could be seen all over her uniform, her ironing apparently having been ignored the night prior. And under her eyes were bags dark enough to give Blake’s hair a run for it’s money. All in all, to keep it rather simple, Weiss looked like utter shit.
All in all, to keep it rather unnecessarily wordy, this narration is utter shit.
“Listen, we need to talk.”
“I’m going to guess this is about the message?” Blake asked, raising her right eyebrow slightly in a manner suggesting to Weiss that she was already aware of the situation.
Not to mention the fact that she just said she was aware of the situation.
GoodJamags: Are these characters always this… slow?
“That’s not important at all. I could just pay off the bastard and keep his mouth shut easy.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU POSSIBLY BE ASSUMING THIS IS ANYONE OTHER THAN SUEBY, MCSCHNEEVIL?!
No. Last night, my room was broken into. Nothing was stolen or destroyed, but someone left me a note, a crude drawing, and a ton of rose petals.” And at the mention of the rose petals, Blake twitched, rather visibly too. “I don’t even know how it happened either. I had just come out of that room like fifteen minutes before that after having taken my shower, and it was all there! In the blink of an eye, someone entered my room, left all of those rose petals, the note, and the drawing, and then escaped. All in the time it took me to grab Myrtenaster and get to the room from my couch!”
So they chucked a bunch of petals and two pieces of paper through a window and left. This is not important.
“Rose petals, and super speed…”
“Don’t you dare bring up that little runt,” Weiss threatened, holding her finger out as though she meant business. “We don’t know if it is her. And even if we did, she’s technically dead. What am I supposed to tell the authorities? That a supposedly dead girl has come back from the grave to exact revenge against me? Revenge which is justified due to me attempting to kill her?! Yeah right!”
I think you’re a little past telling the authorities anything.
“Weiss,” Blake started, worry and concern heavy in her voice. “It has to be her. We shouldn’t be so arrogant now. We should tell Professor Ozpin what we did, and maybe her can stop Ruby. The worst that can happen is that we’re charged with attempted murder, which puts us in prison. A fate we deserve at this point.”
A Sentence Fragment We Don’t Deserve but Are Getting Anyway count: 162
“Yeah, well unlike you I actually have something to lose. Family, an inheritance, and my social standing. So excuse me for not leaving that option on the table!”
“Damn your options Weiss! Just damn them to hell and back.
Ruby is coming back to get revenge. No, she’s already back. That’s right, she’s back. Take a look at this!” Blake hissed that last line out, pulling out her Scroll and showing Weiss the message containing the photo of her and the cryptic message insinuating knowledge of Blake’s faunus nature. “This was taken while I slept. Someone snuck up on me, on me of all people, while I slept. They did so carefully, and even managed to remove something from beneath my pillow without me waking up. And they did it an hour and a half before I even woke up! Who else but Ruby could do that?!
How did Ruby do that?!
GoodJamags: Because she’s Sueby?
Oh. Yeah. That.
And now she’s coming for us. A trained huntress backed up by possibly an army of Grimm, if you go by the reports compiled by the Hunter’s Association. She knows how we fight, she knows what bothers us. She knows how best to strike at us, and she will likely do it.”
I don’t know, I think you give her capacity for taking decisive action too much credit.
And there the two stood, looking at each other and forming an understanding. They would have to meet this character tonight and see just what was going to happen. If they could resolve this, then they’d only have to worry about making sure Ruby stopped trying to kill them. If only they knew…
GoodJamags: … that a LINE BREAK WAS COMING!
Fast forward several hours.
Gladly. Or at least I would, if this were an audiovisual work capable of being fast forwarded.
The clearing Ruby had designated, or rather that she assumed she had, was empty. Of course it was about an hour before anyone was supposed to show up, but she hoped they would realize where it was. She didn’t put much detail into it, however, and she realized the folly of that idea rather quickly. A little bit of worry peppering her adorable face, Ruby began to pace around, wondering whether or not her victims would actually show.
You know, given how hard you’ve been trying to make her into an edgelord, I don’t think Ruby can really sustain the descriptor “adorable.”
About fifty or so yards out of the clearing, at the end opposite Beacon of course, Ruby had her Grimm lying in wait. All of them. Except for the Nevermores. Ruby wanted that group to be circling high in the skies, using the low clouds as cover along with the darkened sky to prevent any of them, especially the faunuses, from noticing their presence. With the preparations in place, Ruby eagerly awaited for them to show up. All of them. Her former friends, teammates, partner, and classmates. She would kill them all.
All of the Sentence Fragments count: 163
Except for the Sentence Fragments count: 164
All of the Sentence Fragments count… again?: 165
Plural, Plural, Singular, and Plural Sentence Fragments count: 166
It was about half an hour prior to the time that she set that Ruby heard someone coming. Acting quick, she used her speed to jump into a nearby tree, concealing herself in the shadows and masking her presence with her aura as best as she possibly could. Focusing some of her aura to her eyes, Ruby improved her night vision as best as possible to see what was going on. So far though, nobody had come through. All she heard were the noises of someone coming.
Sueby: Hey, would you get a room?! I’m trying to have a revenge plot here!
Snapping twigs, rustling leaves, the usual. After a bit, someone broke through the clearing. Two somebodies it seemed. It looked like a couple of students, a male and a female. After they’d moved through, giggling and flirting the entire while, Ruby let out the breath she wasn’t even aware she was holding, and then mumbled a curse.
Wow, I wasn’t even wrong!
Fragmenting Sentences, Lack of Verbs, the Usual count: 167
Two Sentence Fragments, it Seemed count: 168
“Fucking figures. I just happen to choose a location popularly known by horny teenagers! Fuck my life.” Ruby ended by emphasizing her statement with a palm to the face.
And a nauseatingly wordy exclamation.
GoodJamags: “Nauseatingly” is a good word. I like that word.
You are a strange person.
GoodJamags: I’m you, though.
You’re not, though.
GoodJamags: NO U
GoodJamags: Case in point.
Wha- Damn it.
Leaning back against the tree she was currently in, Ruby contemplated just up and assassinating each of them one by one with her speed. As she’d already proven, she could move around virtually undetected and do whatever she wanted with borderline impunity. Add to her speed the stealth capabilities she’d learned from her uncle as well as her friends, and she could pull it off easily.
If you can do that, what’s with the Grimm menagerie?
Ruby scrapped that idea just as soon as she’d had it though. She didn’t want such a quick revenge on them. None of them deserved such a clean, ending. She wanted to make each one of them suffer. For every cut they’d made across her flesh, for every bruise they’d left. For every last excruciating second she’d suffered with a hole going straight through her breast. She would make them pay! But it was soon that Ruby was snapped out of her thoughts by yet more sounds. Perking up and hiding herself once more, Ruby out to see…
It’s about damn time somebody hit this narrator with a brick.
“Bingo,” she thought.
Bingo al Ghul?
Entering the clearing right now was a small group. Cardin and his team. All four of them.
Cardin and His Sentence Fragments count: 169
All Two of the Sentence Fragments count: 170
“And so it begins,” Ruby whispered to the unending darkness.
I don’t think the darkness is actually unending. Generally There’s Got to be a Morning Aft-
GoodJamags: *Dives onto the riffdesk before I can pull up YouTube* LINE BREAK!
One by one, they began to show. All of them. After Cardin and his team came Pyrrha, and then Blake. Weiss showed a few minutes later, and the other filed in one by one until all that Ruby wanted present were assembled. When everyone had gathered, Weiss spoke out.
Boy, this Author Sure Loves to Fragmentedly Clarify that the Previous Sentence Applies to All of Some Previously Indicated Category, Doesn’t He? count: 171
“Okay!” She shouted to the darkness. “Who the hell called all of us out here? Let’s hurry this up, I have class in the morning!”
Time to move.
The plot along? I’d say so. This is about the first we’ve actually done so.
Time to Fragment count: 172
“I did.” Ruby chirped up, her clear voice an octave or two higher than usual. With all heads snapping towards where her voice came from, Ruby came from out of the shadows. From the inky blackness that hid her, Ruby walked out. All gathered were stunned by the sight that greeted all but the faunus, she seemed to be borne out of the darkness itself. To them, she was still an enigma. Cloaked in red and black, as though the shadows themselves were on the face lay a mask of snow white with rose red markings flowing across. Across her bare arms ran two gauntlets of the purest white, also marked with crimson splatter.
Yes, very scary, I’m sure.
“What? Don’t I look familiar? Oh, that’s right! It must be the mask, right? Well then, how about now?”
McSchneevil: Uh… Nope, you pretty much still look like some random Sue.
Calmly, her hands and arms moving exactly how she wanted, not a single muscle twitching or any nerves jumping. Reaching for her mask, Ruby slowly and deliberately removed it from her face. As the mask moved from her face, one could see the vestiges of a smile coming from beneath. But when she finished, what was revealed was both breathtaking and terrifying. Beneath the mask was one that was slightly more chilling one, complete with a slasher smile.
STOP NARRATING IN TROPES!
Eyes wide, but not smiling, the light faded. Teeth showing and fangs bared. Head tilted back as though looking down on those before her, despite their being taller. It was, by anyone’s right, a creepy sight.
“Wh-what the fuck?!”
“Ruby, you’re alive?”
YOU SHOULD ALL KNOW THIS ALREADY!
“Why yes Blake. Yes I am.”
And Blake was the one who asked this? She was the one trying to convince everyone else it was her!
Ruby said, addressing Blake.
Thanks, narrator. I never could have guessed that she was addressing Blake from the fact that she addressed Blake by name.
Turning attention to the group as a whole, Ruby continued. “But I cannot say the same for you all. You see, you may have already guessed this, but my intention in bringing you here wasn’t to have a nice peaceful talk about the past and let bygones be bygones. No, I have another thought in mind. I’m going to do to all of you what you’ve done to me. I’m going to kill you,” Ruby concluded, with an almost singsong voice.
… Very poorly and do an even worse job of covering it up?
“Yeah right you dunce. You and what army?!”
OK, at what point in history was saying that ever a good idea? It’s literally just an invitation for the person to show you what army.
“Ahh, Weiss. Weiss, Weiss, Weiss. We were so close, before. I almost thought of you as a sister of sorts,” Ruby was saying, slowly and with heavy sarcasm. “But you know, I’m glad you asked that question.”
Reaching into her pocket, Ruby pulled out her small Grimm plate whistle. Blowing softly into it, Ruby placed it back into her pocket and spread her arms out. Looking like an entertainer or something, Ruby spoke in a grandiose fashion. “May I present to you my ‘army’, Weiss.”
So… is nobody gonna try to kill her before whatever’s about to happen happens? No? OK.
And from behind Ruby came the shadows. Impossibly large, and yet there they were. Ursai the size of military tank.
Only one tank, though. And specifically a military tank, in case you assumed the author was referring to a SCUBA tank or a water heater tank.
Impossivly Large Amounts of Sentence Fragments count: 173
Walls-o-Sentence Fragments the Size of Military Tanks count: 174
Beowolves that looked far more intimidating than any seen before.
Because heaven forbid the army of shadow monsters not be the spoopiest army of shadow monsters EVAR.
Sentence Fragments that Are Only Somewhat More Annoying than Those Seen Before count: 175
Boarbatusks so heavily armored that incoming artillery could not penetrate their thick hides.
Outgoing artillery, however, would punch a hole in them with no trouble.
Narration So Fragmented that a Mildly Aggressive Featherdusting Could Penetrate its Broken Phrasing count: 176
Goliaths who’s massive bulk could reach the skies.
It didn’t, of course, but it totally could’ve if it wanted to.
Mountains of Miserably Incompetent Grammar Whose Massive Bulk Did in Fact Reach the Skies count: 177
A Deathstalker that looked like it had survived a maelstrom and then some.
Ah, yes, the classic look of maelstrom survival.
No Sentence Fragment Will Survive This Riff, Let Alone Then Some count: 178
Dozens of Grimm, all backing Ruby up.
Really? I guess I hadn’t gotten this idea from the rest of this paragraph.
Dozens of Sentence Fragments, All Making This Fic Miserable to Read count: 179
And standing directly to her right, Dinah. A Beowolf that dwarfed all of the others. Several meters tall, rippling with pitch black muscle and fur. Covering it’s body were plates resembling full on battle armor. Lining the jaw were teeth the size of one of the assembled hunter’s fists. It was an ancient Grimm, by all accounts. One that it would be an understatement to call and S~ class monster.
I tried to set up an ancient Grimm account, but it wouldn’t send the verification email for some reason.
Cool, Cool, Considerate Sentence Fragment count: 180
A Sentence Fragment That Was About the Same Size as All the Others count: 181
Several Words Long, Rippling with NO. FUCKING. VERB. count: 182
A Sentence Fragment For Which it Would Be an Understatement to Say it Got Hit with a Brick to the Head count: 183
And in front f all of these monsters stood Ruby, arms spread as though ready to receive a hug, and with a Cheshire grin that would make the devil’s own blood run cold through his veins.
That’s still not what the word “Cheshire” means.
And, lest I forget:
Roll Call count: 8
I was worried I wouldn’t get another opportunity to buzz that one after I created it. I just need another Vomit Boy and I’ll have gotten at least a little mileage out of all the counters.
“W-wait. Let’s talk this out, R-Ruby. You don’t want to kill us. I mean, you’re not a murderer.” Weiss was saying, her voice noticeably trembling at the thought of fighting these monstrosities.
Show a bit of backbone, McSchneevil. Plus, I think we’ve more than established that she is a murderer.
GoodJamags: Edgelord would be so proud.
“Oh, but that’ where you’re wrong Weiss.” Tilting her head slightly forward and letting the shadows fall over her face, Ruby spoke in a serious tone. “I already am a murderer, you know?” With this declaration, the color drained from their faces, as it dawned upon each and every one of them that she was serious, and capable. “I’ve claimed quite a few lives in these past few months. Mostly assholes who deserved everything that I gave them. A molester who used to be a hunter. Some bandits who tried hurting my new friends. A contingent of Atlesian soldiers who tried murdering some poor villagers. Even Roman Torchwick and his White Fang minions.” This last one causing Blake to twitch slightly. “Well, he survived unfortunately. But most of the minions didn’t, so I guess that counts? Regardless, my point stands. I have no compunctions with taking a life. And unlike most of them, with you guys it’s personal.”
Most of them deserved it, except for the thirteen or fourteen random hunters who didn’t do anything wrong.
“Yeah right you dumb bitch.” Looking over to the one who so rudely interrupted her, Ruby found the young alchemist looking female. Her belt laced with all sorts of phial and containers, Ruby thought the title fit her somehow. But her mouth certainly seemed more foul than expected. She began to step forward, all the while shouting at Ruby. “Do you really think this will scare us? What we did, we felt we had a right to do. You were an embarrassment. Who would want some lucky little prepubescent child representing their school in one of the largest tournaments held on the face of Remnant? So what if you’re Ozpin’s little pet? We had every right to do that to you!”
Sueby: My god, you’re even more of a cardboard cutout than Weissome over there.
Once she was in range, the girl lunged at Ruby. Grabbing one of the bottles at her waist, she gripped the small glass container until it broke in her hand, imbuing her arm with some sort of dust. The red glow surrounding her arms, along with the wisps of smoke emanating from it, suggested that she’d used Blast Dust. But it was nothing to Ruby. Calm as anything, Ruby lightly evaded the attack, allowing it to miss her by mere centimeters. Compared to the speed and ferocity of Yang’s punches, these were nothing, and it showed. While Ruby motioned for her Grimm to back up, the girl kept swinging away at her, missing only by a hairs breadth each time. Haymaker aimed towards the head, a jab straight for the stomach, an uppercut meant to hit her in the jaw. Everything she threw was avoided with ease and grace, as though Ruby were merely swaying with some unseen breeze. It was painfully obvious how one sided the display was, and everyone knew it.
Obvious, yes. Sensible, that’s a bit more questionable.
Once Ruby started to get bored of all of the dodging, she struck. Leaning back to avoid yet another fist, she bent one of her legs close to her chest, and let her leg explode out with the same amount of force she puts into her infamous speed. With a sound reminiscent of a certain breakfast cereal, the alchemist girl was down.
Not sure why she made a sound like Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes, but OK.
Despite her Aura likely defending her, Ruby’s swift, viscous kick to her sternum likely broke a rib or two. Maybe three. Eve if they weren’t broken broken, there was no denying a fracture was likely.
Maybe Three Sentence Fragments (Even If the Author’s English isn’t Broken Broken, There is No Denying a Shitload of Fragments are Likely) count: 184
And on top of it all, the force of the kick had sent her flying into the ground, bouncing hard off of the dirt as though she were made of rubber. Without allowing her time to rest, however, Ruby struck her again. This time, appearing above her in a cloud of rose petals, Ruby dropped on top of her. While Ruby’s weight may have been relatively low, the heel of her combat boots were made of solid steel. The small area of the heel, combined with the force of Ruby kicking down made it entirely understandable as to why an even louder crack was heard than before.
Let me know when you’re done. I think I’m going to take a nap.
“Oooh. I think I got a few ribs with that one. What do you think?”
GoodJamags: *Holds up a sign with “4” written on it*
“Gufuah.” All the girl could manage was coughing and gasping, her breathing likely disrupted by Ruby’s repeated attacks on her abdomen.
GoodJamags: Guf… uwaah?
“What was that? I’m sorry, you’re going to have to speak up. I can barely hear you.” Ruby exaggerated, putting her hand up to her left ear and tilting her head towards the almost broken girl below her.
“P-p-pleazhe… pleazhe shpare… me…” While she couldn’t get out any proper words over the continued coughing and gasping, Ruby could hear what sounded like a plea for mercy. Interesting.
GoodJamags: Not especially. I wonder what’s on TV right now…
“Now why should I show you any mercy, huh? Weren’t you the one who just sid you had every right to do to me what you did? No, in this case I have every right to do this to you. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, and an evil for an evil. Right?”
GoodJamags: Are we going to have to sit through this extended of an exchange for every one of the conspirators?
Reaching behind her, on the back on her Grimm plated belt, Ruby pulled out one of the knives she’d carved up from a Grimm’s plate. A handle roughly the size of her palm, plus an inch and a half, and a six inch blade, no hilt. All pristine white with the Grimm markings flowing across. Seeing this, all the girl could do was panic, but it was too late. Drawing the dagger high, Ruby plunged it to her chest. Before it could completely cut through, however, the girls Aura protected her. But not entirely. The dagger was sunk roughly half an inch into her chest, but that was not enough. Pulling it back up, Ruby smashed it down again, and met with more success as the dagger sunk right down to an inch and a half. The girl’s Aura was weakening, and it showed. Again Ruby lifted the dagger up, and plunged it down, this time sinking the blade all the way to her fist. And the resulting cry emphasized it all.
*GJ props feet up on desk, grabs a book, and starts reading*
Below her, Ruby could feel the girl squirm with the dagger buried in her chest, could feel the rapid rising of her breasts as she began hyperventilating, what for Ruby could not imagine. Perhaps the fear of dying? Not like the air would stay much longer. With weak screams, she cried out to Ruby, begging her to stop. But Ruby would not. Pulling the dagger out again, Ruby stabbed down. And again. And again. And again. Ruby repeated this motion, almost happily too. Below her, the girl’s crying grew weaker, and weaker. Eventually, it stopped, and yet Ruby continued. Only after having stabbed her a few dozen times did Ruby feel that she was satisfied. Picking herself up, letting the now bloody dagger droop slightly in her hand, Ruby looked towards the now frightened group of hunters before her.
GoodJamags: *Peers over top of book* And you people still didn’t make a move while that was happening? You all deserve to die.
Not Like My Patience for Sentence Fragments Existed in the First Place, Let Alone Stay Much Longer count: 185
And a Sentence Fragment Again count: 186
And a Sentence Fragment Again count: 187
And a Sentence Fragment Again count: 188
To Ruby, they all seemed horrified. To them, she seemed like something straight out of a nightmare. Slightly hunched over a body, a body that was once their classmate mind you, covered head to toe in her blood. The viscous way that she repeatedly stabbed the girl, leading her to a gruesome end. It was inhuman. It was sickening, it was mortifying. And the sight of Ruby, grinning viscously while covered in all of that blood, was absolutely frightening.
The Thick, Sticky, Semifluid Way the Sentence Fragment Was Written count: 189
GoodJamags: I mean, blood is kind of viscous, especially when it’s not fresh.
Looking at all of their stupid, dumbstruck faces, Ruby began to giggle slightly. A giggle that eventually turned into laughter, and finally a roar of laughter. Ruby was hysterical with laughter.
GoodJamags: Wait, I’m confused. Is she laughing?
It was their faces, the faces that appeared to finally realize what was going on. How the monster they had created was taking it’s revenge, and how it fully well intended to let none of them go in peace. She laughed so hard that tears began to fall from her face, and it was a mortifying sight to see that blood appear to run from her eyes.
GoodJamags: Hey, Bats, wake up.
Meh? What’d I miss?
GoodJamags: Not much. It’s been like half the chapter and she’s still only killed one of them.
Then why’d you wake me?
GoodJamags: Sueby is literally crying tears of blood.
*Snerk* You sure they’re not blak tearz of despair, Dumblydum?
GoodJamags: Like, 68% certain.
fuking pozer prep.
“Ahh, so that’s what? One down? Only nine more to go~”
“Wh-what the fuck?!”
“Did Rose just…?”
YOU KNEW THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN!
GoodJamags: Just woke up and he’s already shouting. Dunno how he does it, folks.
“Ruby!” Blake seemed disturbed by this sight, and rightfully so. After all, Ruby had just turned one of her former classmates into a blood soup. Or was it more like a stew? Well, you get the point. “How could you just do that? That was a person you just brutally murdered!”
GoodJamags: Point to the cat.
In a… Captain Obvious sort of way, yes.
“Oh,” Ruby said, looking at Blake with eyes that lacked any sort of light. Half closing her eyelids and suddenly adopting a bored look, Ruby turned her gaze straight on Blake. “Yeah, a person. Just like me, you know? But I suppose a knife to the back is acceptable on ‘a person’, right? After all,” Ruby began to growl, her head dipping low to again show the anger she felt. “Isn’t this what you bastards did to me? So should I just forgive and forget, because I’m alive? That’s not how this works. You see, I like the saying ‘an eye for an eye.’
Expert opinions suggest that results in a disproportionately high rate of visual impairment among the general population.
I always loved children’s stories because they made me believe that if I was a good person, I would have a good life. But that wasn’t the case. So I figured if I couldn’t have a good for a good, I would commit evil unto evil. So, everything will come full circle. You tried to kill me, so I will try to kill you. However, success doesn’t matter. All that matters is that I get the opportunity. If I succeed, then I succeed. If not, then I still get my revenge. That’s all.”
Technically, wouldn’t the appropriate exchange be one almost-death for one almost-death? Thus, if you’d left random alchemist girl on the brink of death but not actually killed her, you’d have inflicted exactly as much damage as you incurred. Of course, it would be fairer to distribute the injury across the whole group, possibly with some degree of interest as a punitive measure, but not to a letha-
GoodJamags: You’re lawyering again.
With that declaration of her intent to kill them all, and Ruby’s solid, if not a bit simple and childish, logic, the ones still living could not refute her words. Despite their best efforts, most of them were rooted in spot due to the overwhelming feeling of fear that they were experiencing. The terror of seeing a comrade die, and of being surrounded by the shadows that they’ve been taught to fear since birth.
You people are bad at huntress-ing.
“You have two options right now, as I see it at least. You either allow me my attempt on your life, or you can fight back and maybe survive. But Dinah, Chesh, ‘Dee, ‘Dum, and the others are rather bloodthirsty. Decided quickly, because I’m about to give them permission to hunt.”
That was almost a roll call.
With that ultimatum, their fates were sealed. Without any recourse left, they all drew their weapons one by one.
There is always the possibility of retreat. If you fall back to the school, you’ll have a lot more reinforcements. You could even focus on taking out Sueby in the middle of the fighting and restore your coverup.
Oh, who am I kidding? They’re not smart enough for that.
The remaining hunters versus the Red Queen and her army of Grimm. Regardless of the outcome, blood would run in Beacon tonight.
GoodJamags: Personally, I want a line break. And hey, I’ve got that!
“Professor, what’s going on?”
Bat-Ozpin: Not much of consequence.
Entering Professor Ozpin’s office, Yang and Jaune began to question him. It wasn’t even 24 hours since they’d last met, and yet he’d called them in due to urgent business. Meeting up about halfway to the office, Jaune and Yang moved together hoping to try and figure out what may have happened. But the best they could come up with was that it was likely about Ruby.
“Miss Xi- No. Yang, Jaune, please sit.” Hearing Ozpin call them by their given names, the two felt something big was up. Without any retort, the two swiftly obeyed his order. Once they were seated, he continued. “Just an hour ago, I got an alert on Beacon Academy’s Personal Net. In the deeper parts of Forever Falls, the signal of a Scroll was picked up. The Scroll was registered to Ruby, you’re sister Yang. She’s back on campus already.”
But she was somehow blocking their ability to trace that before. For some reason. And then didn’t?
“So wait Professor. Does this mean her revenge is happening tonight?”
OF GODDAMN COURSE IT DOES!
“I fear it may have already begun.” Turning his desktop’s screen towards the two, Ozpin commanded them to read while he continued. “I’m assigning you two a special task.
Aw, hell no.
Go to the location mentioned in this message. If you find Ruby, stop and detain her. Help any students there. Am I understood?”
The layered quotation marks are still dumb.
Without further ado, the two left Ozpin’s office and began to run at full speed towards the area mentioned. Along the way, Jaune couldn’t help but feel that tonight wouldn’t end so peacefully. Taking a short glance at the moon, Jaune noticed that despite it’s usual broken state, it also appeared to have a slight crimson tint tonight. To Jaune, it was a bad omen.
If only he knew.
GoodJamags: That there was a line break coming!
Hello there. Welcome to the semi-last chapter of The Red Queen.
“Semi-last?” What does that mean?
Since this is one of the last chapters, allow me some time to be sentimental. I never realized my story would grow this much, especially as it started out only as a chapter for another one. But that it’s gotten this far, and that you all liked it so much really makes me feel proud of the work I put into it. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy the ending.
I don’t understand the sheer amount of attention this thing got. And I certainly won’t enjoy the ending, no matter what happens. I can pretty much guarantee that.
Now for announcements, I would like to announce the winners of the OC competition. Due to so many awesome entries, I had to choose 5. That’s right, I ended up using more than originally planned for Ruby’s allies. Also, I’m using 2 honorable mentions in the story for other parts too. All credit for the characters go to their respective authors.
GJ, do you want to handle the excessive numbers of obnoxious reader-submitted OCs?
GoodJamags: I suppose that is my area of expertise.
Without further ado, the winners are as follows (in no specific order or preference, mind you):
Sanguis Anima- Sanguis Anima (don’t be confused, one is the author and the other is the OC)
GoodJamags: Well, we’re already off to a stellar start, with an explicit author-insert. Also, don’t you think that name is laying it on just a little thick?
Nikellette Pernniel- Eramis8
GoodJamags: Wow, that’s a lot of name.
Elena Angelina- fujin of shadows
GoodJamags: That almost sounds like a real RWBY character name, but like, a name that a minor character who only appears in one episode would have because it’s hard to say out loud and only tangentially color-related.
Graham Ahheban- TheBluePsychoticStrategist
GoodJamags: Wow, those first and last names could not be any more mismatched.
Ebony Nero- sigma190beta
GoodJamags: *Snerk* Don’t you mean Enoby?
For the honorable mentions, and who will be appearing as special characters in the sequel, we have the following (again, in no specific order):
Srada Midenight- mistermidenight
Abigail Albus- Dr. Science
GoodJamags: Don’t think there’s a color there.
Duncan Mirlo- 37
GoodJamags: Didn’t you say there were only two honorable mentions?
Those will be the winners featured in the Red Queen’s sequel. I have to say that you all damn near ruined my inbox with all of the submissions. It took me a couple of days to sort through them all properly. The submissions were great, and I’m glad that so many were sent in. I’m sorry to only choose a few, but it was a tough choice. A lot of things had to be considered, and this was the outcome. Thank you for your participation in the contest. Words cannot express how much it meant to me for so much participation from you guys :)
It really is depressing that people can’t even tell how bad this thing is.
Well, that’s all for now. Expect a much larger AN for the next, and last, chapter.
Oh, good god.
Have a good ones guys, and see you later. Leave any comments, criticisms, concerns, questions, and suggestions you may have. I enjoy the feedback.
Sincerely and very respectfully,
Alright, patrons. That’s it for the second-to-last chapter. I’ll see you next time to finally finish this thing off.
Uwaah count: 13
A Sentence Fragment count: 189
Roll Call count: 8
Vomit Boy count: 8