Title: The Red Queen
Author: Dravyn LeCrux
Media: Web Series
URL: Chapter 22
Critiqued by BatJamags
Kingdom of the Crystal Huntsman
Uwaah count: 13
A Sentence Fragment count: 147
Roll Call count: 7
Hello once again, patrons! I’m your host, BatJamags, and I’m back with another chapter of The Red Queen. Last time, Sueby recruited a bunch of big elephant Grimm for no reason and nothing happened.
Chapter 21 was not an actual chapter, but rather a memorial message about the then-recent death of RWBY’s creator, Monty Oum. It’s actually reasonably well-written and it would be in poor taste for me to riff it. I only bring it up in case you’re wondering why we skipped a chapter.
While that’s a bit of a somber note, this fic is still bad and I’m still going to make fun of it. As such, let’s press on.
Endless. Pointless. Why was she still here? Why was she still sitting through this, despite more pressing, more urgent business being at her doorstep.
Switch those “she”s to “he”s, and you’ve got a good description of my experience reading this fic.