2344: The Big Four’s Adventures on Tamriel – Chapters 1- 4

 

Author: speedster101
Media: Movie/Video Game
Topic:  The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim/Tangled
Genre: Adventure/Fantasy
URL: Chapter 1
URL: Chapter 2
URL: Chapter 3
URL: Chapter 4
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

 

Hello, dear Patrons, and welcome to another possible oneshot!

You might be asking yourself, hypothetical Patron, “Can a fic with four chapters be considered a oneshot?” It can when the first chapters are only a few hundred words long, and the other two are Author’s Notes begging readers to submit ideas. Also, the fic hasn’t had any updates since 2016 and has likely been abandoned because no one wanted to do the author’s job for them and/or try to make sense out of this dumpster fire.

Buckle up, buttercup – this is going to be a rough ride.

And not only is this one of those fics, but it’s a Skyrim crossover! Crossed over with what? Technically it’s listed as a crossover with Tangled, but in truth it is one of those crossovers with the massive multi-fandom conglomeration that is Rise of the Big Hero Brave Frozen Tangled Dragons, or whatever it is called these days. If you’ve never heard of this phenomenon, basically authors will pull characters from nearly every CGI animated movie and shove them into a fic, often set in a different universe so the don’t have to bother reconciling the many different canons. High school AU fics are very popular.

Now, on to the fic summary!

Pitch Black and the negatives are back and they got some new allies strong to and only one can stop the three newcomers from taking over Tamirel but he’ll need help with the ones know as Pitch Black and the Negatives with help from ones known as the big four join Marcus the Dragonborn and The four as they travel across Tamirel to stop Pitch and the negatives.

:gasps for breath:

That is all one sentence, my Patrons. Get used to that; this author treats punctuation as if it was crafted of priceless jewels.

I can’t help but notice that the summary is focused on Pitch Black, the antagonist from Rise of the Guardians who does not make any appearances in Tangled. They aren’t even made by the same studio. If Pitch is the fic’s main Big Bad, then why was this fic in the Tangled section and not the Rise of the Guardians?

The Big Four’s Adventures on Tamirel and Nirn

Tamriel is a continent on Nirn, so if this mystery quartet is having adventures in Tamriel then they would be having adventures on Nirn at the same time.

Author’s Note: Before anyone asks yes I’m doing a Brave, Tangled, Rise of The Guardians, and How to Train Your Dragon crossover with The Elder Scrolls

So I gathered. Any time I see a crossover between one of the CGI animated movies and anything else, I assume it’s going to be a part of the multi-fandom stew.

your elder scrolls characters as well as ocs are welcome to be a part of the story but this is a big fanfic and I’m going to need all the help I can get so if anybody is able to help with this I’ll gladly appreciate it thanks

We haven’t even gotten to the actual fic before the author starts asking the audience for contributions. That is rarely a good sign.

anyway enough rambling let’s get on with the story ps I do not own Tangled Brave Rise of the Guardians How to Train your Dragon or Elder Scrolls they all belong to their rightful owners.

I have a feeling we’ve not seen the end of the rambling.

Summary: After The Big Four agreed to go to a place called Tamirel on the planet called Nirn

Because that is totally a thing people do without any explanation what. So. Ever.

with a Nord by the name of Marcus

:squints:

Why do I feel the need to put a call in to Crunchy?

they find themselves on adventure like no other little did they know that they would do more than that

Do more than what? There’s nothing for them to do more than!

can the four survive the dangers that awaits them on Tamirel and return home before Pitch takes over?

Based on my experiences they will easily be able to kill dragons, wolves, and the occasional Smurf-goblin, but then die because they misjudged a jump and Gravity is a heartless bitch.

And how is the four seen on a place they never heard of?

That not how words do.

And how come Hiccup fills like he shouldn’t bring Toothless with him? Read to find out.

Considering the first movie in the series opens with Hiccup’s village trying to destroy dragons and Toothless easily evading the Vikings because he’s a badass Night Fury, I think he’s going to do fine.

After Pitch’s fourth defeat the guardians and the four settled down in North’s workshop celebrating their victory over the defeat of Pitch black but it was interrupted by Hiccup.

Oh, I feel dizzy. Anyone else feel like they just fast-forwarded through a metric shit-ton of backstory?

I wouldn’t celebrate to early guys he said I agree with Hiccup said North we may have defeated Pitch once but I fear he and the negatives will return with more allies and stronger than ever.

:eye-twitch:

Not only is there very little punctuation, but all the dialogue is smashed into the same paragraph. Awesome. And isn’t this supposed to be the fourth time this group has defeated Pitch? Fourth is more than once by a wide margin.

Also; a protagonist predicting that the antagonist is going to return with new, stronger allies? I think we all know what’s going to happen in this fic.

He announced everyone was Silent

Or they were all talking at once; it could be either since there’s no frickin’ quotation marks and everything is tossed together like a hellish word salad.

when North said that Rapunzel gulp knowing she does not want to see Mother Gothel again after what she did to her Jack comfort her and then kissed her this cause her feel a little better

Apparently this is one of the fics where the author prefers to have Rapunzel hook up with someone other than Eugene/Flynn Rider and Jack doesn’t get matched up with Elsa. But Rapunzel will be happy to remember that Mother Gothel turned into dust at the end of her character arc, so she has nothing to worry about except frostbite.

Bunnymund so we just got to keep are guard up eh mate he said in his Australian accent North just nodded but if he gets anymore allies we’ll need all the help we can get Jack said.

Ugh. I guess I should be glad that the author isn’t trying to write Bunnymund and North’s dialogue in dialect.

So what are going to d’u Merida said in her Scottish accent if Pitch rises again with new allies?

:headdesk:

The fic gods giveth, the fic gods snatcheth away.

She asked we’ll save that for later Merida said North right now let’s celebrates so the guardians and the four celebrated after the celebration everyone was resting or relaxing for the night before get some sleep.

This feels very much like something from a bad teen rom-com from the 1980s or 1990s;

“Oh, noes! Something serious and important!”

“Forget that, let’s have a party instead!”

Blech.

Morning arise and all the guardians and the four were doing what they do

:Daybooking Alarm makes a plaintive wheezing noise:

…I didn’t even know we had one of those.

Rapunzel was tending to her plants, Bunnymund was painting Easter eggs for next Easter in his Warren, Hiccup was out training Toothless, Merida was back home teaching Archery to her three brothers, Jack was playing with Jamie and his friends on a snow day which was cause by Jack, Tooth was in her palace with baby tooth counting all the teeth that was gathered with baby tooth’s help, and North was making all types of toys with help from his yetis.

It’s a good thing I know who all these characters are, what they look like, and what this sentence-clump references, because if I didn’t have an encyclopedic knowledge of animated movies I could be really, really, really lost.

When he was done with that he walked around the workshop when all of a sudden a portal of sorts appears out of nowhere surprising the Yetis, and the Elves

They are surprised by a mystical portal even though they often travel via a mystical portal? Bwa?

North thought one of them were messing with the snow globes but they weren’t the portal was about to close but before it did a figure came out of it

Is this going to be another animated character, or are we getting to the part where the author introduces their OC with fare greater detail than anything else in this Formless Void of a fic?

the figure was very tall and very muscular and male he wore clothes that aren’t native to earth and had amber yellow eyes North recognized him and laugh

:headdesk:

It’s not much detail, but it is much more than any of the canon characters have received. Aside from the mentions of Merida and Bunnymund’s accents, none of them have been described in any fashion. And what does the author mean by “clothes that aren’t native to earth”? Most of the clothing in Skyrim wouldn’t look terribly out of place on Earth, just somewhat old-fashioned. The armor sets, though? Many of those are pure fantasy and not at all practical.

Sure, it looks badass – but I think the ability to be able to raise your arms above your head without impaling yourself in the face with your pauldrons is more important. If this figure is wearing armor and not clothing, then it would be nice to get a description. There are many different styles of armor to choose from in Skyrim, especially if you’re into modding. If you’re willing to put in the grinding time (or again, use mods) it is fully possible to sneak around a crypt full of dragur deathlords and be effectively invisible while resembling Satan’s most tryhard goth-emo sibling and carrying hundreds of pounds of loot and weaponry.

well if it isn’t the legendary Nord dragonborn and Harbinger of the Companions and ArchMage of the College of Winterhold

I’ve not done any of the Companion quests because I’m not interested in becoming a werewolf, but I have become the arch-mage. All you have to do is go on a few fetch-quests and then not die when you confront the dickwad who murdered the last arch-mage. You don’t need to be a competent mage or even use much magic, really.

the figure now known as Marcus turned to the source of the voice his eyes widen at who he saw

Is it Hermaeus Mora? That guy is super creepy.

by the Nine he shouted in a Nordic accent

:headdesk:

your Father Saturalia or do you prefer North? He asked

Father who?

I know there are “holiday” mods for Skyrim that give the player different holidays such as Saturnalia, which the wiki tells me is a holiday in Elder Scrolls lore that is similar to Christmas, but why would the Dragonborn assume that North is this Father Saturnalia? Typically when you step through a portal on Tamriel you end up on one of the planes of Oblivion getting tormented by a Daedric Prince, or tossed into the Nordic after life, or shunted off to the Soul Cairn.

 North is fine so what brings you here shouldn’t you be on Nirn Dragonborn

Excellent question! I bet we don’t get a satisfactory answer.

by the way how’s your wife Aela and Daughter Lucia there doing fine

and what brings me here are two things first thing I was wondering if the four would like to explore all of Tamirel with me

So this Dragonborn didn’t know who North was, even though North knows Marcus’ wife and daughter, but somehow knows who the Big Four are? Have any of them ever been anywhere near Tamriel? Or the planet of Nirn? Have they even left Earth before?

the second thing I fear that Alduin, Miraak, and Harkon will return but stronger.

:snorts:

Those frickin’ marshmallows? I don’t know about Harkon but Alduin was no different from any other dragon, there were even several Nord heroes tagging along to do most of the work, and Miraak was mostly an annoying pain in the ass because he got stuck in ethereal mode and then my game crashed.

North stroke his beard all of Tamirel huh aye said Marcus and what makes you think they will return North asked.

Do you mean, return back to the chunk of void they currently inhabit or return to Tamriel? When were they in Tamriel in the first place?

With the help of your enemy Pitch Black

So … The enemy they just defeated for the first and/or fourth time is going to help them return to Tamriel and/or this part of the Void? Bwa?

after the mention of Pitch North’s facial expression changed from jolly to serious if Pitch gets involve before he could finish a wisp of black sand appeared passing the globe

Y’know, recycling scenes from the movies -THAT DON’T MAKE ANY DAMNED SENSE IN CONTEXT! – just makes me want to go watch the movie and forget about all of this nonsense.

North ran to the back of the workshop summon the guardians and the four Rapunzel and Jack were the first to appear

There’s four Rapunzels? Damn.

then came Hiccup then Tooth Fairy then came Bunnymund, Merida, and James Flynn and Sandman this better be important North said Bunnymund and who yours friend Rapunzel continued.

And then the baby just cryed and then Legolas pick her up and hold her and then the baby stoped crying and then Legolas said ”your name is going be Laura”and then Legolas and the baby went onto the horse and went back to the castle where he lived.

That’s the end of Chapter 1, such as it is, so let’s get to Chapter 2!

The Dragonborn meets the Guardians and the Big Four

In case you fell asleep at the end of the last bit where everyone was rushing to the part of the Formless Void that has a sandy globe in it.

Author’s Note: Here’s chapter 2 of my Elder Scrolls crossover enjoy and remember I do not own The Rise of The Guardians The Elder Scrolls Brave or How to train your Dragon they belong to there rightful owners but I do own John Flynn till then enjoy the chapter.

You mean James Flynn?

:points at end of previous chapter:

His name’s right there.

I had assumed that this was supposed to be Jamie (the kid Jack bonds with during the movie) since he was already mentioned once, but it almost looks like the author decided between chapters to turn him into an OC. I don’t see any mention of the Dragonborn Marcus in that rambling little disclaimer, though. You’d think the author would want to claim both of their OCs, in case Bethesda swoops in and decides to claim him for themselves. Because that’s how copyrights work; you have to call first dibs, right?

After the four and the Guardians arrived at North’s workshop Bunnymund spoke up saying to explain why you called us here North he said and who’s your friend ?asked Rapunzel to answer your question Rapuzel North said I like you all to meet Marcus or what his people call him Dovahkiin Dragonborn also known as the Harbinger of The Companions, Archmage of The College of Winterhold , Stormblade, and many others in his hometown Skyrim on Nirn he announced.

First off, Skyrim is a province of Tamriel, not a town. There are numerous towns in the province, but none are named Skyrim.

Secondly, if these four have never heard of Tamriel (or Skyrim, or Nirn, or what a Dovahkiin/Dragonborn is) then none of that nonsense is going to be even partially comprehensible. They are just meaningless titles, like when Contacts calls himself the Sultan of Bacon.

This surprised everyone except John and Hiccup who already knew.

Because reasons, probably.

Dovahkiin? Jack said confused aye it means dragon blood in Dragon tongue but in mine its is known as Dragonborn

Actually, “dovahkiin” literally translates into “dragon born”; if they called you “dragon blood” then your name would be Dovahsos. I know this because I looked it up in one of the dictionaries of Dovah-zul available online.

now I know some of you have a lot of questions about me said Marcus

I have questions, but they aren’t specifically about you.

but save those for later there’s something your friend North or what my people on Nirn call him Father Saturalia has to tell you something two things that is one for all of you and another just for the four of you he said gesturing to the big four.

:squints:

This must be that new math that everyone hates.

The Guardians and the four nodded then turned to face North what is it you want to tell us North

Nothing that makes any sense. The original fic is one big Wall-o-Text with almost no punctuation and all the dialogue pressed together; reading it just makes my eyes twitch.

Tooth said Pitch and the negatives has returned just as me and Hiccup predicted

Because fanfic.

and seems like three more has joined him North said

How the frickin’ hell does he know that? All Pitch has done is the bit where he covers North’s giant globe in black sand. There’s not been any mention of him having allies other than Marcus naming the main antagonists from the game and DLCs as potential threats. Why is everyone just going to assume the three antagonists have joined forced with Pitch despite there being no evidence to support this?

Oh, right; because fanfic.

just then black sand started coming down the globe revealing Pitch and some other figures the first one was the figure of a woman with curly black hair and shrouded in a black cloak which caused Rapunzel to gulp

Which is not an unreasonable reaction to seeing a woman you know to be dead.

next to her was a male figure he wore blue robes that looks like something a priest would wear and a golden mask with horns on the side of it which cause Marcus face to change that of anger and deceit Miraak he growled

Miraak’s mask does have projections that resemble horns, but considering Hermaeus Mora’s kink they are probably supposed to look more like tentacles than horns.

the last ones were not human

You mean the last one since there’s only supposed to be three people with Pitch.

the first one look like that of a bear the one next ones look like Dragons the first one had red scales wings while other had black scales and wings Marcus just gave a angry glared at the figures of Harkon and Alduin the last one was more batlike/ humanlike but had glowing vampire eyes.

…Why is there a bear? Is the bear supposed to be Harkon? Or Alduin? Because neither one of them is, as far as I know, a bear. And dragons are massive; I would think that a dragon would tend to draw the eye more than, say, and old woman in a cloak or Miraak’s smug ass.

Jack turned his head for a moment only to see Marcus giving an angry glare to the last two black sand figure which made him feel uneasy a little but let it pass

I guess Marcus has put a lot of his perk points into Glaring.

then turned his head back to the globe only to see the black sand changed into nightmares and started sprinted towards them and disappeared into nothingness.

I guess if you’re going to steal a scene from the movie, you might as well bookend on the ending of that scene even when IT MAKES NO SENSE IN CONTEXT!

The guardians and the four remain silent for a minute only for it to be broken by Jack.

I, too, am speechless – but for different reasons.

Something tells me that Pitch and the negatives grown a lot stronger but those new recruits seem stronger he finished.

Wow. Did you come up with that all by yourself, or did you have help?

I dealt with the new ones before Marcus said and I already know how to defeat them that is if they haven’t got any stronger.

Find cover, wait for the eye to close, and then pop out and shoot them repeatedly in the face with arrows?

When that was said everyone except North and James stared at him wide eyed, what do you mean dealt with them before do you know the them? Rapuzel questioned aye Marcus said will who are they Jack continued. There names are Miraak, Alduin, and Harkon or Lord Harkon Marcus answered.

And also a bear. And Mother Gothel for some reason, although Marcus doesn’t seem very curious about her.

Author’s Note: That’s chapter 2 I would have made it longer but I have other chapters to type

Spoiler alert – no, they don’t.

others fanfics too do plus I still need help with this one

You do, just not in the way you mean.

I already asked Bailey24 to help with the big four half and Annaliese95 with some of the Elder Scrolls half but I haven’t heard back from them yet

Gee, I wonder why?

I checked out these two authors; both authors have mostly crossovers in their catalogs –  Bailey24 focusing on mostly Disney properties (and a fair number of Kingdom Hearts crossovers) while their profile contains quite a lot of that forum copy-pasta we see so often as well. Annaliese95’s profile is blessedly much shorter and their listings focusing mostly on Avengers crossovers.

also I still need Ocs/Elder Scrolls characters in the story if you want them in the story heck I’ll even add your own if you want me to plus if anyone else is willing to help with this please pm me thank you till then may Talos guide you.

Which translated from fanficspeak into English means “Please do my job for me.”

Now, on to the third chapter! Which is just an Author’s Note.

Author’s Note: Hey Speedster101 here this isn’t chapter 2 of the fanfic I’m working on

Nope, it’s Chapter 3. Because that’s how numbers work.

 I still need help with it cause as I stated before this is a big fanfic and I’m going to need all the help I can get

You’ll get no argument from me.

and if you have any ocs or Elder scrolls you like to have a part of the story

I have one I’d like to get rid of, but I can’t drop it because it’s a quest item.

feel free to post them in the reviews but I’ll need info on them such as race, gender, skills, names, guild/faction, relatives, bios, appearance, likes, dislikes, personality, player homes are optional. Till then may Talos guide you.

Basically, they want you to hand over an entire character profile that is far more detailed than anything the author provided in this fic.

That was all of Chapter 3, so let’s speed on to the least chapter!

Author’s Note: Hello Hello glad you can make it now

At least one of us is happy.

I’m sorry for having this story on a very long hiatus for well years

Despite claiming that you had more chapters that you were typing up, and that was why there was a gap between previous chapters.

but a lot of things had happened that I almost forgot about this story now I’m determined to finish this story

Spoiler alert – no, they aren’t.

as well as others on my profile

I skimmed through the author’s catalog, and not one of them is marked as being completed.

so you’re bound to see some updates of those stories,

Guess again.

also I finally heard from Bailey so now she’s going to be helping out with the story at least with The Big Four parts, plus Annaliese will help as well but with the Elder Scrolls parts so again I apologize for the very long hiatus till then may Talos guide you also Happy Easter.

Really? Because I’ve been to both of their profiles and Annaliese95 appears to have abandoned their account three years before this fic posted. I find it suspicious that they would agree to “help” write someone else’s fic when they aren’t even writing any of their own works any more.

 

That’s all for this fic, dear Patrons! I’m going to go soak my eyes in some soothing aloe vera.


10 Comments on “2344: The Big Four’s Adventures on Tamriel – Chapters 1- 4”

  1. BatJamags says:

    Pitch Black and the negatives

    Which, incidentally, is the name of my Bathtubs & Razorblades cover band.

  2. BatJamags says:

    She asked we’ll save that for later Merida said North right now let’s celebrates so the guardians and the four celebrated

  3. Zues Killer Productions says:

    Author’s Note: Before anyone asks yes I’m doing a Brave, Tangled, Rise of The Guardians, and How to Train Your Dragon crossover with The Elder Scrolls

    Five bucks says you didn’t think of any Connections to make this even remotely possible.

    • GhostCat says:

      When you’re smashing together that many canons, plausibility gets tossed right out the window even in the best of circumstances. Which this most definitely was not.

  4. Zues Killer Productions says:

    your elder scrolls characters as well as ocs are welcome to be a part of the story but this is a big fanfic and I’m going to need all the help I can get so if anybody is able to help with this I’ll gladly appreciate it thanks

    Some advice: if you are pulling this, and expect anyone to take you seriously, just go to a forum and make an RP. If you’re trying to write a fic, just make a fucking outline to plan your story.

    • GhostCat says:

      Or, if you really want to include other people’s characters in a fic for whatever reason, ask in a forum or other outlet before writing the blasted thing. Slapping together a “chapter” and immediately asking for character submissions is just a screaming red flag that you’ve put zero thought into the fic. I personally wouldn’t want to hand over Mr. Sprinkles to someone like that; because if they don’t care about their own work, what are they going to do with my character?

  5. crazyminh says:

    Urgh…

    The last time I heard what people stereotypically refer to as a Australian accent was when I last watched ‘Crocodile Dundee’ nearly two years ago.

    We’re a multicultural country. There are so many people where I live speaking nothing but Chinese that I’m beginning to understand a little of what they say. I’ve never taken Chinese classes. We have Kiwis, we have South Africans…I could go on, but I’d get tired.

    So how come there’s a person in this fic with the almost non-existant ‘aussie accent’?

  6. TacoMagic says:

    Miraak was mostly an annoying pain in the ass because he got stuck in ethereal mode and then my game crashed.

    Being able to crash the game is a pretty powerful, if not often explored, super villain power.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.