2151: The Shadow Warriors – Chapter 20

Title: The Shadow Warriors
Author: Shadow knight1121
Media: Comics
Topic: Justice League
Genre: Crime/Mystery
URL: Chapter 20
Critiqued by BatJamags (GoodJamags) and Kane

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your host, BatJamags, and I’m back with yet another chapter of The Shadow Warriors to round out this chunk before BadJamags takes over the reins again for another fic. But first, here’s your chapterly news briefing:

Opener

As usual, credit to Anne for this.

Chapter 20: New face In Gotham

IT’S ANOTHER OC! RUN FOR THE HILLS!

 

Authors Note: Okay, sorry for the delay my old computer finally gave out but now I got a new one and to celebrate here is a new chapter.

 You are not on a schedule.

Also thank you all for reading my last chapter love you all. Also this is Gauntlets story just letting you know. And be sure to read Tonycake’s recent Arkham Hill chapter it is awesome and give her future support for her new story she going to write. Okay here we go.

 Nobody cares. Just get on with the story.

Oh and this (!) means scene transition.

Just use a dash or a line break.

Disclaimer: I do not own batman.

Hello, pointless disclaimer, it hasn’t been a long time at all.

A cool swift breeze blew through the slums of Gotham. Fall was in the air and while most were home in soft beds a lonely old man was currently pushing a cart full of junk he was hoping he could pawn off just to make enough for dinner. He felt a small water droplet touch his cheek as he looked up to see that it was starting to rain. The old man let out a shudder as he pushed his cart into an old apartment building hoping to get out of the rain.

Huh. This is actually starting out OK.

Kane: I’ve seen better.

GAH! How do you always do that?!

Kane: That is for me to know and you to never find out. Besides, you continue to request my presence. I will grant said presence at the time and place of my choosing.

Creep.

Kane: Fool.

He pushed his cart into the main entrance of the main lobby and shook the rain from his coat as he started to hear clattering coming from the basement. His curiosity got the better of him as he wandered down the stairs and stumbled across what looked like a futuristic chemistry set. Vials were filled purple liquid and steam came out of strange looking machines.

Alright, who let Goeth into the fic?

He then looked over to see a wall filled with newspaper articles. The old man recognized one of the pictures to be Gauntlet one of the new super heroes around here. Not wanting to be here anymore he turned to leave when the exit was blocked by someone.

Ooh, this guy is villain fodder. Got it.

“Hello boyo.” The man said.

“Boyo?” *Snerk*

Kane: If someone called me “boyo,” I would kill them on the spot. They would not even be worth the slow descent into madness and death by mutation I normally prefer to inflict.

*Edges away from Kane*

He was a pale white skinned man in his late twenties with purple eyes blonde hair and a scar that ran down his left cheek. He dressed in an old army uniform and held a high-tech syringe in his right hand as he chuckled darkly.

No, see, you already killed it with the purple eyes. He’s not scary anymore.

“N-Now take it easy son,” The old man said as he raised his hands in defense. “I was just trying to get out of the rain there’s a storm.”

Kane: *Leaning forward* That’s no excuse for snooping, is it?

“Oh there’s a storm coming alright,” He said as he slowly walked towards him. “You see I’m here on a little revenge spree.

Why are you expositing this at the villain fodder?

That chap right there is the one who gave me this.” He said trailing his finger down his scar. “He cost me my face, my mission, my rank and my life. I would have killed him sooner but he got those damn gauntlets making it damn near impossible to beat him, but after five years of research I’ve finally created my serum.” He held up the syringe filled with purple liquid. “This I call ‘Hade’s Serum’ if my calculations are correct,” He stuck the syringe in his neck and let out a grunt of pain and he pulled out the needle and dropped it on the ground. “It will give me control over dark matter and allow me to control gravity and with this power I can tear anyone apart.”

Kane: Stop monologuing and gut the fool.

He pointed his hand at the old man and fired a black aura at him. The old man was shrouded in black energy and started screaming as he felt like he was being crushed from the inside. The man started laughing manically as he clenched his fist and turned the poor old man into nothing but red mush.

Fancy.

The man’s purple eyes glowed as he walked over to a nearby table and picked up a gauntlet of his own. It was black latex with metal knuckles and skeleton lines running down the length of the arm. He fastened it to his arm and wrist as three blades slowly extended his knuckles. He walked up to a nearby picture of Gauntlet and slashed at the picture tearing it to pieces.

Well, that sounds gaudy.

“Soon boyo, I’ll finish what you started all those years ago.” He said as he laugh echoed throughout the abandoned building.

Kane: I once knew a creature that could laugh and speak simultaneously. I dissected it for research.

What kind of-

Kane: Don’t ask.

(Three Months Later)

Is it three months later from eight years ago, or is it-

Kane: Silence!

At the S.W. Headquarters Jayden, Jason, Sam, Blaze and Flynn were currently working out in the gym. Jason and Jayden were currently sparring while Blaze focused on his fire conjuring, Flynn was practicing his scythe techniques and Sam was just pumping iron. Jason sent a fist towards Jayden but was quickly on the ground causing everyone to look over at them.

Generic training scene!

Kane: How uninteresting.

“Woo,” Jayden exhaled as he helped his younger brother up. “Who’s up for a drink?”

*Raises hand*

Kane: Focus, fool.

I thought I was troglodyte.

Kane: That’s BadJamags.

I’m not sure I like my nickname any better.

Kane: I don’t care.

Everyone cheered except Sam who was currently texting his girlfriend Kris on his phone. Jason looked over and leaned over his shoulder. Sam felt his presence and jumped when he turned his head to see Jason so close to him.

Come on, The Other Jason, that’s just rude.

“What the hell do you want?” Sam snapped as he turned his phone off.

The Other Jason: Your soul!!!

Kane: Hm… I could go for a soul or two.

“Whoa, why so hot?” Jason asked sarcastically as Sam gave him a skeptical look.

Ouch, what a burn. The Other Jason is on fi-

Laser1

Kane: He’ll respawn shortly.

“Dude, don’t do my fire puns.” He said blandly. “And you didn’t answer my question.”

Kane: I assume he wants to bother you and interrupt your private activities, as most “friends” have a habit of doing.

“What, you’re my friend,” Jason said playfully. “I can’t take an interest in your life?”

Kane: It is as I predicted.

“Well, if you have to know I’m texting my girlfriend.” He said as he walked away from Jason, but Jason being Jason decided to egg him on.

Kane: The author says this as though he’s established a character for this “Jason.”

“Got a hot date tonight,” He said as Sam glared at him again. “No pun intended.”

Laser2

Kane: I have had more than my fill of puns.

*Walks back in*

Looks like things are heating up in here, eh?

*Kane seethes*

I think you really need to coo-

Laser3

Kane: Enough.

“Yes, her step dad is having an ‘I’m rich’ dinner party and she lied to him saying she had plans with me.”

“Aw, she’s using you.” Jason teased.

Kane: Clever gi-

*Mauled by raptors*

*Walks back in*

Poor guy. That’s only his second respawn in his time at the Library.

The first one was when he picked a fight with Book Specs. The fight didn’t last very long, but Kane managed to summon a bunch of eldritch horrors which rampaged through three levels before we could get together a team to blow them up. And by “a team” I mean “Shades.”

“No…okay yes but she wants to give us another chance.” He defended. “Now if you will excuse me my hot headed friend I’ve gotta go get ready.”

These heat puns are just on fire today!

After showering he dressed himself in a black hoodie halfway zipped to reveal his Greatest American Hero T-shirt, he also threw on a pair of jeans and a pair of leather gloves to hide his gauntlets.

I don’t care.

After he made sure he was ready he went to Jayden hoping to get a ride. Jayden agreed and drove his young friend off to Kris’s house. On the way Jayden decided to tease his friend.

“So you and the misses finally patch things up?” Jayden asked.

And in a halfway decent scene, no less.

“Yeah, this is the first time we actually went out on a date since we met.” Sam said.

SMJ.jpg

“Alright, treat her right, no funny business and be back by nine.” Jayden said in a false authority tone.

Don’t make me do the Garfield joke again, author.

“Jayden…” Sam growled.

“Okay, ten no need to tell the misses.” He chuckled.

It’s still not funny.

“Jayden I swear to god…” Sam growled.

“Hey, don’t you take that tone with me young man I swear I will turn this car around.” Jayden joked.

Nope. Still not funny.

“Ugh…you are so annoying.” Sam sighed in defeat.

“I know,” He said in his regular tone. “Seriously though how are you gonna impress a classy girl like Kris being driven around by your guardian?”

Edgelord: Especially when your guardian sucks as much as I do?

“Well I could drive her myself if someone would lend me a car.” Sam stated matter-o-factly. Jayden pulled over and stared at Sam and back at the steering wheel.

“You know you’re right,” He said as he opened the driver’s door making Sam look at him questionably.

What, is there some doubt as to whether he actually looked at him?

Kane: I’ve been conducting some research on these creatures, the Bahd Fiq-qur. It seems their influence has that sort of effect on reality.

And did that discovery warrant sneaking up on me again, Raptor Chow?

Kane: Call me that one more time and I will dice what remains of your body and put it in Crunchy or Eliza’s food. I’m certain neither of them will mind.

Point taken. Creep.

“Wait, you mean…no you can’t.” Sam said as he opened his door and looked over at Jayden to see Marcas. Jayden must have had this planed already as he was getting inside of Marcas’s Ferrari ready to leave Sam. “Jayden, this is a million dollar car!”

Because of course it is. Do million-dollar cars even exist? Don’t answer that question.

“Yeah, and if I see so much as a single scratch, dent or gets stolen well…don’t bother coming back.” Jayden said as he hopped in Marcas’s car and sped off before Sam could protest again.

Does this kid even have a driver’s license?

Kane: That is your greatest concern?

Among them. That and I’m wondering what a single gets stolen is.

Sam looked over at the Lamborghini and slowly hopped in the driver’s seat. He closed the door and sat in the seat of the car for a minute getting the feel for it. He started it up and slowly drove off careful not to damage the car.

Ow. You’re missing a comma or a “ly so as.”

He smiled at the fact that Jayden let him borrowed his car. He was also glad that he had met Jayden in the first place and not just Jayden, but Jason, Ally, Flynn Hilary and all the other warriors. Then he thought back to his friends from his childhood. He thought back to Otto his buddy, Lockpick who could pick any lock with the use of a bobby pin and Mark his mentor the man who taught him all he knew about martial arts.

Kane: This sudden reminiscence is completely unprompted. Perhaps these individuals will appear shortly?

Doubtful.

Laser4

Kane: That is my catchphrase, and I will not see it appropriated by a fool such as yourself. Have I made myself clear?

*The ash that used to be GoodJamags smolders affirmatively*

Kane: Excellent.

He missed his old friends with every fiber of his being but he knew that he had to move on. It was like Jayden said what’s the point of living if you’re just gonna be miserable for the rest of your life. With that he arrived at Kris’s house in the suburbs and turned the car off. He admired the house it was a classic rich guy suburban home perfect for Kris. He walked up to the door when he saw his hand started to glow purple. He took off his leather glove and saw a purple hue on covering his gauntlet. He shook it off and did a quick check to see if it would be a problem for his date. He was broken from his thoughts when he heard the door of the house open. He looked up and smiled as he saw his childhood crush.

*Kane nods thoughtfully and scribbles a few notes in an old leather-bound tome*

“Hey.” She said as Sam walked up to her.

*Walks back in*

Sup.

“Hey.” He said as the two stared at each other awkwardly before Kris leaned in and planted a small kiss on his cheek. She leaned back and Sam gave her outfit a look over. She was wearing black jeans and a black blazer which she wore over a purple shirt. “Little too formal don’t you think, we are just going to the movies right?” Kris just shrugged her shoulders as she walked back in her house.

I don’t have much experience on this front, but I’m, like 95% sure you don’t start a date by criticizing the other person’s clothing. Especially if they’ve dressed up for the occasion.

“My step father doesn’t want me going out looking like a floozy,” She said. “At least that’s what he implies.”

I mean, what’s described there isn’t even that formal, but this seems like a somewhat drastic dichotomy.

Kane: *Continues scribbling*

What are you doing?

Kane: Documenting the progress of the curse I placed on the one with the gauntlets.

And?

Kane: It hasn’t affected his personality yet, but I’m keeping close watch.

“Well either way you look fantastic.” He complimented causing her to smile as she fixed her earrings.

A little late to backpedal, don’t you think?

“Thank you.” She said sweetly.

“Yeah, you’re really on fire!” He said as he threw his hands up and created a small flame between his hands. She laughed but soon stopped as she looked over next to Sam.

Yeah, she’s-

Laser5.jpg

Kane: That… was preemptive. And immensely satisfying as well.

“What the hell is going on?” A monotone voice said.

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!”

It was…………………………………………………….Dumbledore!

Laser6.jpg

Kane: *Checks spell sheet* I’m running out faster than expected.

He turned to see Kris’s step father leaning against the door frame of the dining room sipping a glass of wine. “Speaking of fire.” He mumbled.

*Walks back in*

That’s pretty ho-

Laser7.png

Kane: I will stop if you do.

“What was that?” He asked.

“Nothing, hey Mr. Parker.” He said as he held his hand out. Parker held his hand out and shook it as he turned to Kris. “Are you sure I can’t convince you to stay. It’s not all that boring.”

Kris: Not unless you learn to punctuate, Dad.

“Sorry, we had this planed all week, and we haven’t seen each since we were kids.” She said. “We’ll be back later.”

Kane: Or will they?

Before Sam or Parker could get a word out she had taken his arm and dragged him out the door. Parker shook his head as he turned to see a pale man with blonde hair swirling his own glass of wine.

*Walks back in*

*Neck immediately snapped by POV whiplash*

Kane: There’s no need to be so dramatic, fool.

“What was that about Mr. Parker?” He asked in his superior tone.

Kane: Oh, and I suppose I should be surprised that the villain is here.

*Walks back in*

Eh, it’s not a bad twist. The guy’s shaping up to be a bit of an Awesome McEvil, though.

“Nothing Mr. Simmons my step daughter is just going on a date with a dimwitted boy.” Parker said as he rejoined his guest.

Eeeeeeeevil.png

Kane: Yes, truly this man is the face of villainy.

“You should just kick the little gutter urchin to the curb and leave it at that.” He snickered as Parker glared at him.

Which one?

“Hey, she is a good girl and a hard worker she just has low standards when it comes to boys.” He said as he continued into the room. “She has the makings of greatness and I’m not just going to say the hell with it and throw her on the streets. Now I bid you a good evening.”

Oh, OK. Still, if I were Parker, that “good evening” would be replaced with “You know where the door is. Don’t bother coming back.” Since, y’know, parents tend to take it pretty seriously when someone insults their kids.

With that Parker left Simmons as he went to attend to his guest leaving Simmons alone. He finished the rest of his wine as he pulled out his cell phone. He dialed a number and held the phone up to his ear as he looked at the rest of the guest in disgust.

You twirl that mustache, Simmons! Though that’s usually O’Malley’s job.

“Do you have them?” He asked.

“We are tailing them now sir,” A voice modulator said on the other line. “What are your orders?”

“Just tail them for now I need to confirm that it’s him.” He said.

“Understood sir.” The voice said as the line went dead.

“Soon boyo, soon.” He said to himself.

Woo-wee! We’re just bringing out all the clichés, aren’t we?

(!)

That’s dumb and wasn’t used on the previous scene transition. Also:

Sam and Kris were currently walking out of the parking garage and to the theater as Kris wrapped her arm around Sam’s and held him close. Sam raised an eyebrow as he looked down at her.

“What wrong?” He asked as she shivered.

Kane: *Muttering and scribbling* Speech deteriorating…

That’s just because someone set up them the bomb.

“Nothing, but…well when I called you earlier and asked you out it was mostly because of this guy that showed up at my house.” She explained.

“What guy?” Sam asked.

The guy with the power.

“Some blonde haired guy with a scar on his face.” She said. “I don’t know why but I just got a weird feeling from him.”

Yeah, never trust those blond guys with scars on their faces.

“I felt something act up with my gauntlets when I ran up to your house earlier.” He said. “Who knows maybe it’s just us. I mean we used to live underground away from humanity surrounded by other weird people.”

Kane: *Still scribbling* Feelings of paranoia, as well. Physical mutation should set in shortly.

“True, let’s forget about it and enjoy our date.” She said as she pulled him into the theatre.

If she has to pull him, either he’s going way too slow or she’s going way too fast.

Sam paid for everything as they went and saw Cat’s Cradle. Kris wanted to go but Sam could have cared less as long as he was with her he didn’t care.

“Cat’s Cradle,” huh? On IMDb, I found one project in development and a few (Spanish?) TV shows.

All throughout the date he was trying his best to avoid thinking about that man Kris mentioned. It was also hard for him to not think about it when his gauntlet glowed purple every time he thought of him.

Kane: *Scribble scribble* Purple flares increasing in frequency…

He shook it off as he led Kris out of the theatre and back out into the streets. The two stared in confusion as they saw construction workers digging up the streets in front of them. Sam checked his cellphone to see that they had only been inside for an hour and forty five minutes. Sam pocketed his phone and walked up to a nearby worker.

I don’t think it would be that difficult to start tearing up a road in an hour forty-five (since their level of progress wasn’t specified).

Kane: Yes, but this inconveniences a Stu. *Scribble*

You’re right, that is suspicious.

“Hey buddy, what gives?” He snapped as the worker gave him a phony smile.

Kane: I’m not certain, but if I had to make a guess, I might surmise that they are tearing up the road.

“Sorry son, we are just doing our job,” He said. “You want to get over to that garage you’ll have to cut around the alley behind the theatre.” Sam raised an eyebrow at the worker as he stepped forward.

“I didn’t mention anything about the parking garage.” Sam said in a stern voice.

Kane: Still in the paranoia stage. *Crosses a few things out and does some more scribbling*

“Well I just assumed you were going to take the little lady home and that maybe you drove here.” He said not breaking his false politeness.

“Well thank you, we’ll be going now.” He said as he grabbed Kris’s arm and led her down the alley.

You wouldn’t happen to be at the Monarch Theater, would you?

Wrong Turn.jpg

Because… that doesn’t bode well.

Sam then pulled his hood up and took off his gloves and zipped up his hoodie. Kris noticed and decided to ask what was going on.

“Sam what’s wrong what’s happening.” She asked in a frantic tone as he slipped on his motorcycle goggles.

*Alarms blare*

Whoo! It’s been a while since the DRD showed up! Kane, mind dealing with this?

Kane: *Scribbling* Yes.

Well, then we’ll just have to hope they fall in the acid pits, won’t we?

*Muffled sizzling and screaming*

Well, what do you know?

“Call me Gauntlet and do me a favor and keep your head down.” He said in a stern voice as their way was blocked by three workers. “Evening ladies.”

“Evening yourself boyo.” A voice said behind the two.

You know what? I’m starting to change my mind. I actually kind of like this tic. It’s at least something to give the character a bit of flavor.

Gauntlet turned to see a man dressed in a black suit and red tie standing between his two goons. Gauntlet’s hands started to get covered in a purple hue again as he looked up at the man.

Kane: *Grumbles and does more crossing out and scribbling*

“Who are you?” He asked.

Simmons: I’m Batman.

“S-Gauntlet, that’s they guy from earlier,” Kris said. “The guy from the party.”

“Yes, that was me,” He said. “The name’s Johnny Simmons. You probably don’t remember me because of this.” He said trailing a finger down his scar.

… Huh?

Why would a scar make Sam Motherfuckin’ Jackson not remember you?

“I would remember any face that was that repulsive.” Gauntlet joked.

Hilarious.

“Hmm, you know I wonder were you cracking those jokes when I was killing your friends back at that sewer.” He asked playfully.

I could go back and read SMJ’s backstory to figure out what this is in reference to, but I actually don’t care that much.

Gauntlet snapped as he sprinted towards Simmons with his fist raised. It flared orange as Simmons waved his right hand casually emitting a purple hue. He was then sent flying back and landed hard on the ground. He tried to get up put he felt like someone strapped him to hundreds of pounds of weights.

*Kane scribbles concernedly*

“Are you alright?” Kris asked as she tried to help him up.

Kane: *Grumbling and scribbling* No, he should be transforming into an unstoppable raging beast fueled by magical energy any minute now.

“Yeah, but this guy is about to feel the burn!” He said as he opened his mouth and fired a stream of fire out at Simmons causing him to break his hold.

Politics.jpg

Let me know how that works out for you, champ.

He retreated as a thug ran up behind Gauntlet and attempted to hit him with a crowbar when Kris caught him by the wrist and twisted his arm down. She then wrapped her legs around his arm and her feet around his throat causing him to fall to the ground and lose consciousness. She got up from the ground and stood back to back with Gauntlet as they prepared for a fight.

What just happened?

“When did you learn martial arts?” He asked.

At best that was Confusion Fu.

“After you left me at the museum.” She said as they charged at the thugs.

One thug charged at Gauntlet with brass knuckles and attempted to land one across his face but his fist was caught by Gauntlets iron fist.

Facepunch.png

Huh. Well, that explains why his fist is glowing purple.

*Kane throws his book at the wall and storms out*

What’s his deal?

Oh, and snip a meh fight scene.

“Are you okay?” He asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” She said still winded from the fight. “Where’s that Simmons guy?”

Blood Gulch, probably.

“He gave us the slip.” He said as he led her to the car. “Let me take you home.”

He quickly led her to the garage and the car quickly speeding off into the night. He drove off to her house neither one saying a word as he drove. When they finally reached her house. They stayed in the car for a few minutes before Kris spoke up.

“Well, wasn’t what I was expecting but hey I still had a good time.” She said sheepishly causing Sam to laugh.

Getting attacked by a mysterious group of people the leader of whom is still at large? Yeah, great time, that.

“Yeah…look just stay home for now and I’ll call you when I figure out what’s going on I promise.” He said. She nodded as she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his.

“Sam, he mentioned the sewers that was our home.” She said in a frantic tone. “He probably knows who we are especially since he knew enough to follow us.”

No, really?

“I know,” Sam growled as he took a deep breath. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small rectangular device with a red button on it. “Take this, if you get in trouble press it and I’ll come find you.”

Kris took the device and smiled as she looked up at Sam. She leaned over and placed a small kiss on his lips causing him to freeze. His cheeks were red causing her to laugh as she got out of the car.

*Ominous rumbling*

Oh, not this again. And Sam Motherfuckin’ Jackson, you literally just kissed her. Why is this time blush-worthy?

“Goodnight and good luck.” She said as she got out of the car.

Goodnight_poster.jpg

His eyes never left her as she ran up to her home and opened the door. The second she was inside and safe from the rest of the world Sam quickly pulled out his phone and dialed a number. He waited a few seconds before someone picked up.

“Hey lover boy how was the date?” Jayden’s voice said on the other line.

You’re not clever, Edgelord.

“Fine, listen I need your help.” Sam said in a serious tone. Jayden knew something was up as he cleared his throat.

“What’s wrong?” He asked.

“A black cat crossed my path.” Sam said as the line went dead. It was a hidden message for the team to get together when they talk over the phone. Ally came up with it when Catwoman stole two of Jayden’s Lamborghini.

That would make sense if it made sense.

“Did that bitch steal my car again,” Jayden yelled. “Unbelievable, Sam you get your ass home right now! Use the back entrance to get in!”

The line went dead as Sam chuckled at Jayden’s false temper. He started up the car again but stopped in his place. His eyes widened as he quickly dialed a number on his phone.

“C’mon, pick up pick up pick up!” He snapped as someone finally answered.

And there’s another DRAMATIC PHONE CALL!

“House of Wong Home of the best Thai Food how can I help you.” The nice lady asked. Sam’s facial features brightened as he placed his order.

“Hi I’d like to place an order for a pick up please.” Sam started as he succumbed to his major weakness. Thai Food.

Is…

Is that a character trait?

For the love of-

Stop doing good things, Shadow knight1121! I’m trying to riff your stuff here!

So disres-

*BadJamags bursts out of the floor*

BadJamags: I’LL TELL YOU WHAT’S NOT A GOOD THING! I’LL TELL YOU WHAT’S NOT A FUCKING GOOD THING! THE FUCKING BLUS-

*Tranquilized*

Yeah, I’m going to just end the riff before he wakes up. He’ll be back next time with something special (and spooky) for October. Afterwards, between his next non-Shadow Warriors riff and a little Christmas special the two of us have lined up, I won’t be getting back to this fic until February, so you all will get a nice refreshing break from this edginess.

*SLAM!*

And now, your out-of-context quote from the next riff:

That accursed ukulele!


36 Comments on “2151: The Shadow Warriors – Chapter 20”

  1. crazyminh says:

    Something completely random here…

    Who here watched that abysmal BSG-ripoff-titled-as-star-Trek, STD, and what is your honest opinion?

    (Stands back and puts on a asbestos fire-suit)

    Cause honestly? It’s insulting.

    • crazyminh says:

      Not starting a flame war, don’t get me wrong. Honestly, who’s seen Discovery…sorry, STD, and what is your opinion? Just getting a gauge on whether the people here have taste or not…sorry for any offence BTW. Kinda have semi-PTSD over STD’s horrific murder of Star Trek…this riff reminded me of canon murder, which naturally led to STD…

      • crazyminh says:

        Frak…regretting saying this now…

        • AdmiralSakai says:

          I can remove the comments if you want, but I honestly don’t think people will flame you for them.

        • BatJamags says:

          There’s no problem, I’m just guessing nobody who’s seen it has read this yet. It’s all good – I’ve said worse about Star Wars: The Force Awakens and the worst that’s happened is an academic discussion about the definition of a Mary Sue.

        • AdmiralSakai says:

          Yeah I’ve not seen it nor have I been following it particularly closely so I have no problem whatsoever taking your word that it’s dreadful.

  2. AdmiralSakai says:

    A cool swift breeze blew through the slums of Gotham. Fall was in the air and while most were home in soft beds

    Good to know that even the poorest Gothamites are willing to splurge on high-quality mattresses.

  3. AdmiralSakai says:

    A cool swift breeze blew through the slums of Gotham. Fall was in the air and while most were home in soft beds a lonely old man was currently pushing a cart full of junk he was hoping he could pawn off just to make enough for dinner. He felt a small water droplet touch his cheek as he looked up to see that it was starting to rain. The old man let out a shudder as he pushed his cart into an old apartment building hoping to get out of the rain.

    Huh. This is actually starting out OK.

    So I’m wondering who SK ripped it off from. Tonycakes again?

  4. AdmiralSakai says:

    Creep.

    Not until Tuesday, I’m afraid.

  5. AdmiralSakai says:

    He was a pale white skinned man in his late twenties with purple eyes blonde hair and a scar that ran down his left cheek.

    So, he’s a Jeff clone.

  6. AdmiralSakai says:

    This I call ‘Hade’s Serum’ if my calculations are correct

    Well your calculations must have been wrong then, because that’s not how possessives work.

    • crazyminh says:

      MATHS AND CHEMISTRY ARE NOT THE SAME THING

      (Plays sad violin music)

      …EXACTLY LIKE HOW BIOLOGY AND QUANTUM PHYSICS ARE NOT THE SAME BLOODY THING. #FUCKOFFKUTZMAN

  7. AdmiralSakai says:

    It was black latex with metal knuckles and skeleton lines running down the length of the arm.

    Skeleton… lines??

  8. AdmiralSakai says:

    At the S.W. Headquarters Jayden, Jason, Sam, Blaze and Flynn were currently working out in the gym.

    I keep reading that as “At the S. J. W. Headquarters”. Now I’m just assuming that Jason and Jayden were currently triggering each other while Blaze focused on his flamewar conjuring, Flynn was practicing his privilege-checking techniques and Sam was just pumping giant, phone-book-sized lists of pronouns.

  9. AdmiralSakai says:

    It was like Jayden said what’s the point of living if you’re just gonna be miserable for the rest of your life.

    That was a thing Jayden said?

    • BatJamags says:

      You know, probably. At some point. I think.

      Look, if Vikki can’t be bothered to go back and add moments she wants to have have happened, why should Shadow knight1121?

      • crazyminh says:

        BatJamags:

        What’s your opinion on the Arkham video games???

        I’m playing through Arkham city right now, and I just finished Arkham Asylum. While I found them good…I’m more of a marvel guy than a DC guy. My entire experience of Batman consists of Christian Bale, the comic serial Gotham in Gaslight, the cheesy 80’s movies and the silly-as-all-fuck 70’s TV show.

        But you’re a real fan…what do you think?

        • GhostCat says:

          I liked them, but I’m a big fan of Kevin Conroy and Mark Hamill so any time they’re together is a good time for me. Arkham City has a small side-quest called “Identity Theft” that I recommend – you run into Hush, who is one of my favorite villains.

        • BatJamags says:

          Arkham City is my favorite video game of all time, and Asylum is almost as good. They have good stories, fun gameplay, and I’m a Batman nerd.

          Arkham Origins is made by a different developer from the other three, and the way it plays is just a lot clunkier. Plus, it seems to have a lot of annoying artificial difficulty even on easy mode (Case in point: the Deathstroke fight – there’s pretty much one very specific move that you wouldn’t think to use that will stun him, and otherwise he no-sells everything you can throw at him).

          Arkham Knight is fun to play – unlike some people, I even like the Batmobile sections. There is still a lot of artificial difficulty, since the game loves to spam brutes (big, tough, scary henchmen you have to stun a bunch of times – they weren’t in Asylum and I don’t think they show up until late in City if at all) at you – they’re even in the damned stealth sections now. I still have no idea how you’re supposed to take them down other than taking down everyone else and just grinding their health down in close combat. The story, though, is absolute trash. The Totally Original New Villain Do Not Steal turns out to be:

          A: A ripoff of another character, before being shockingly (and by “shocking,” I mean so heavily telegraphed the only reason it surprised me was because it seemed too obvious) revealed to be:
          B: Exactly the character he’s ripped off from.

          That’s far from the only problem with Knight, but it’s arguably the biggest one.

          I’ll note that Asylum and City have a major advantage: Being written by Paul Dini, who worked on Batman: The Animated Series and is personally responsible for some of the best Batman stories ever written. I don’t think he was involved with Origins or Knight, and the storytelling suffers for it.

          If you’re interested in other Batman-related media, I really recommend Batman: The Animated Series. It’s better than most other adaptations and more consistently good than most runs of the comics. The Arkham games draw on it pretty heavily, including using the same (really good) voices for Batman and the Joker, like Ghostie pointed out.

        • GhostCat says:

          I’ll note that Asylum and City have a major advantage: Being written by Paul Dini, who worked on Batman: The Animated Series and is personally responsible for some of the best Batman stories ever written.

          I love his work. He managed to turn Mr. Freeze from a joke villain into a genuinely heart-breaking character in Heart of Ice, which pulled in an Emmy, only to have his good work spat upon by The Movie That Shall Not Be Named. He’s also responsible for the creation of everyone’s favorite hench-wench, Harley Quinn, who was originally supposed to just pop out of a cake in a single episode but is now one of the most recognizable characters in the DC ‘verse.

  10. AdmiralSakai says:

    “Yeah, you’re really on fire!” He said as he threw his hands up and created a small flame between his hands

  11. AdmiralSakai says:

    Sorry, we had this planed all week

  12. AdmiralSakai says:

    It flared orange as Simmons waved his right hand casually emitting a purple hue. He was then sent flying back and landed hard on the ground. He tried to get up put he felt like someone strapped him to hundreds of pounds of weights.

    Simmons’s powers allow him to send himself flying backwards and become unable to get up?

  13. Anne Eyewitness says:

    Parker shook his head as he turned to see a pale man with blonde hair swirling his own glass of wine.
    “What was that about Mr. Parker?” He asked in his superior tone.

    It was… Lucius Malfoy!

    • Anne Eyewitness says:

      Here’s another photo where you actually see things.

      • BatJamags says:

        If anyone’s wondering why there’s no difference between these two pictures, I moved the bigger one up to the original comment and deleted the second one, but it looks like it somehow came back. Did one of you guys un-delete it?

    • BatJamags says:

      “WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ABOUT YOU MOTHERFUKERS!” He asked in his superior tone.

      It was…………………………………………………….Malfoy!

  14. Em Kay says:

    “Call me Gauntlet and do me a favor and keep your head down.” He said in a stern voice as their way was blocked by three workers. “Evening ladies.”

    They’re blocked by hookers? Or is he trying to insult three more road workers into moving?

  15. Em Kay says:

    “A black cat crossed my path.” Sam said as the line went dead.

    “Unbelievable, Sam you get your ass home right now! Use the back entrance to get in!”

    The line went dead as Sam chuckled at Jayden’s false temper.

    Wait, if the li-

    Blaring Alarms Blare

    *muffled screams of painful pain are heard from the hallway*

    Oh, right. The minions had the Legos out earlier. That’ll teach the DRD to walk around barefoot.

    • BatJamags says:

      Uh… Yeah, I’m sure… the minions left those out. That sounds-

      *Crash*

      *Leans out door*

      HEY! It took three days to build that!

      Anyway, as I was saying, those probably definitely aren’t mine.

  16. Em Kay says:

    A cool swift breeze blew through the slums of Gotham. Fall was in the air and while most were home in soft beds a lonely old man was currently pushing a cart full of junk he was hoping he could pawn off just to make enough for dinner. He felt a small water droplet touch his cheek as he looked up to see that it was starting to rain. The old man let out a shudder as he pushed his cart into an old apartment building hoping to get out of the rain.

    Huh. This is actually starting out OK.

    …I mean, there’s definitely been worse, but I heard almost the entire fic in my head being narrated by Steven Hawking’s computer voice. A comma shotgun and question mark boomerang would probably help.

  17. TacoMagic says:

    Flynn was practicing his scythe techniques


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