2145: The Shadow Warriors – Chapter 19 Part 2Posted: September 23, 2018
Title: The Shadow Warriors
Author: Shadow knight1121
Topic: Justice League
URL: Chapter 19
Critiqued by BatJamags (GoodJamags)
Hello once again, patrons! I’m your host, BatJamags, and I’m back with the second half of this chapter of The Shadow Warriors! That means no chapterly news briefing, since you got that last time. Last time, Batman, Red Hood, and Edgelord had a poorly written fight scene. This fight scene is not over yet, so let’s dive back in!
He then fired two bolts at Jason who let out a scream of pain as Jayden suddenly stopped. Jason was lying helplessly on the ground as Jayden walked over to his sword and picked it up.
*A Darkwraith rushes in with a bowl of popcorn*
It took you long enough. I ordered this last riff!
*Takes the popcorn and throws some at the screen*
Jayden was ready to end Jason but before he could Batman had him in a hold and stabbed his own needle into Jayden’s neck. His power started to dull down as Batman wrapped one of his cables around him. Jayden let out a growl and a few swears at Batman before he ran off after Jason.
Hm. Needs butter.
*Walks over to Riffcave Portal Room and shoves bowl through Library portal*
*Pulls bowl back, revealing the popcorn – and GoodJamags’ hand – to be covered in about an inch of butter*
That’s a little much, but it’ll do. Thanks, ninjas!
Jason swung his knife at Batman again but Batman ducked beneath his blade and knocked it out of his hands. He then sent a punch to Jason’s face but he ducked underneath him and pulled a cable out of his jacket and fastened it around Batman’s body locking his arms. He then pulled out his own grappling hook and pointed it at the church’s balcony. He fired the hook at the edge of the balcony and attached it to Batman’s cable hoisting him to the roof.
*Throws a wad of butter at the screen*
That’s entirely too complicated of a maneuver to make any sense.
Batman landed on the edge of the balcony and quickly undid the straps. The second he unfastened the cable Jason pounced on him sending multiple punches to his face. Jason had Batman’s left hand locked under his foot while his right hand was dangling over the edge of the balcony. Jason sent a few more punches to Batman’s face before he lifted his right hand and grabbed Jason’s wrist stopping his attack. He then wormed his left hand free from Jason’s foot and sent a hard punch to the center of Jason’s face knocking him back.
*Squish squish munch munch*
Batman quickly got to his feet and pinned Jason to the wall as he pulled a small metal stick from his glove.
Muffled Voice: Bow chicka bow wow!
Shut up, you! That doesn’t even make sense!
“More hidden goodies,” Jason chuckled. “You me and Jayden are just a few walking armories.”
Well, that’s an awkward way to phrase a thing.
“Maybe so, but let’s see how you do without you’re toys.” Batman grunted as his flicked the stick and ignited a small flame. He tossed at Jason’s jacket causing it to burst into flames. Jason sent a punch to Batman’s face knocking him off the balcony as he wrestled to get his jacket off.
Jason is toys? And author, you can just say “lighter.”
One more thing: You don’t “send” a punch, you throw it. Or, you know, you just punch. The author is being really insistent about this awkward turn of phrase.
Meanwhile, Shadow was currently rubbing the blade of his sword against the cable slowly. After a few more cuts he finally broke the line and regained his composure.
Took you long enough.
He looked up to see Batman and Hood gliding across the rooftop and towards another building.
Because… they felt like it, I guess. Also, how is Hood gliding? He doesn’t have Batman’s glider-cape.
Shadow pulled out his grappling hook and fired it at the building they and landed on the edges they were currently running on. Shadow eventually caught up with them as Jason jumped across the roof and into an abandoned apartment building.
*Looks down at snipping scissors and opts instead to eat more popcorn*
Batman jumped across the roof and glided through the broken window Jason jumped through and landed a drop kick to his chest knocking his former comrade into an old tub.
Shadow jumped across the roof as well with his sword held high. He went through the window and brought his sword down on Batman, but before he could land a hit Batman had grabbed him by the wrist in midair and flipped him over his shoulders slamming him down hard on the ground. Shadow let out a grunt of pain as he felt his body smash the tiles on the floor beneath him. Jason looked down at Shadow and back at Batman as he reached for Shadow’s sword.
“Enough, it’s over!” Batman shouted.
Jason got up and took a stab at Batman who stepped out of the way and grabbed his wrist lifting it over his head and landing a punch into Jason’s ribs knocking him into the walls. His body bounced off the walls as Batman sent his fist into Jason stomach. He let out a gasp but didn’t have time to catch his breath when Batman grabbed him by the back of his head and smashed his face into the tiled wall.
No! Not Jason, get Edgelord!
Jason let out a growl as he grabbed a broken piece of tile and took a few swings at Batman. Shadow got up and intercepted Jason by smacking the tile out of his hand and landing a punch into Jason’s face. Batman then grabbed both of his former pupils by their heads and knocked them together.
The two let out grunts of pain before Batman punched Shadow across the face and kneed him in his gut. He then turned to Jason and elbowed him in the gut and then sent the back of his fist into his face. Batman then sent a kick to Jason’s head and knocked him down but Jason landed on his hands and flipped back up to his feet. He pulled his fist back and sent it to Batman’s face but the Dark Knight dodged it causing Jason to smash his fist into the tiled wall. Batmen once again punched Jason in the gut and proceed to wrap his arms around his neck Batman then threw him across the bathroom causing Jason to crash his head into the sink and the toilet.
Batman proceeded to overpower Jason enraged at the choices he made. He popped his ears sent a punch into his stomach before grabbing by the head and bringing his knee into his face and then crashing his head into Jason’s face. He gripped him by the collar of his thermal shirt and slammed him against the wall and stared into his eyes.
Did I just get excited about something the author actually wanted me to think was cool?
That’s a good sign for the author and a bad sign for the riff. But Shadow still sucks, and that’s not going to stop happening, so I’m not going to stop riffing.
[Note from THE FUTURE: While the comic gets slightly better after this, it continues wallowing in suck up through at least Chapter 35. The riff ain’t going anywhere.]
Also I’m pretty sure this fight scene is, like, half-regurgitated, hence why Edgelord keeps getting taken out of the fight in order to preserve the sequence of events.
“You say you want to be better than me but it won’t happen.” Batman growled. “Not like this!”
He then raised his fist and slammed it in the center of Jason’s chest sending him through the wall crashing through the tattered wood. Jason tumbled back to the next room as Shadow raised his sword behind Batman.
Watch as Edgelord manages to screw this up.
He brought it down in a stabbing motion but Batman stepped out of the way letting Shadow stab the ground. His sword stuck in the ground as Shadow quickly let go and tackled Batman to the ground. He grabbed Batman by the collar of his armor and glared into his eyes.
Meh. He still sucks.
“What makes you think you’re so damn batter than me or Jason for that matter?” Shadow growled. “You fight that which can’t be beaten and you let those who are evil live on and continue their evil deeds. At least with our actions we can stop them forever!”
See, this is what you don’t understand, author Edgelord author. Red Hood and Edgelord are evil. There’s literally no difference between them and the guys they hunt.
“You sound exactly the same as when you were that angry kid all those years ago.” Batman struggled. “Killing people isn’t the way to bring hope to those who need it your causing just as much anger and wrath onto the innocent as any other murderer.”
“You really are so naïve.” Shadow chuckled as he pulled out his knife from his boot. “And I will finally put my demons to rest!”
Not a chance, kid.
Shadow brought his knife down but Batman swatted the blade away and brought his head up to Shadow’s face. He knocked back Shadow a bit before Batman sent his foot to his chest knocking him off. Batman quickly got to his feet and garbed Shadow by the back of his head and slammed his face down onto the butt of his sword that was still stuck in the ground and landed one last kick to his chest sending him to the next room with his brother.
Batman slowly walked into the room and stood before his two former children. He looked at them out of pity regretting the fact that he failed to save both of them. He failed to save Jason from Joker and he failed to protect Jayden from the darkness of his vengeance.
DARKNESS VENGEANCE BLARGH
“I know I failed you both,” He said in a more calm voice. “And I tried to save you Jason, Jayden I left you the burden of watching Jason…” He couldn’t finish that sentence. “I’m trying to save you now.”
There’s no saving Edgelord. He was an irredeemably stupid character from chapter 1.
Shadow rolled away and pointed his gun at Jason as Jason pointed his gun at Batman.
“You think I hate you for letting Jason die or because I went where you couldn’t follow?” Shadow asked. “No, I’m angry at you because you fed me nothing but bullshit when I was a kid. You told me that we did what no one else did and that we fight to protect. I am an assassin Bruce I kill people for peace. Not order or vengeance I kill to make sure…to make sure no child has to hold the dead bodies of their loved ones…twice.”
Right, sure, except the kids of all the people you kill. Have you ever thought about them, you freak?
Batman stared at Jayden with a pained expression on his face. All this time he thought Jayden was doing this to get back at him to prove that he was right. Instead he was just trying to keep the innocent away from the condemned.
And Batman falls for this argument just like he briefly bought into Justice Lord!Batman’s crap. Come on, Bats! You’re smarter than this!
“I fought you tonight to show you that I could handle myself that I don’t need your help.” He pointed his gun at Jason and glared at him. “I am no saint but I am no kidnapper. Now where is the girl?”
Hang on, Edgelord, you’re not done with your beatdown.
Jason glared at Shadow and walked over to a counter and reached down and picked up a tied up Sarina and threw him at the base of Shadow’s feet.
What, they just happened to land in the apartment where Jason was keeping Sarina and the Joker?
“You know, I don’t know what pisses me off more your gullibility or Bruce’s stupidity.” He growled. “First you both replace me, him a new Robin you a new Jason and now a new Batgirl and not just a new Batgirl but the daughter of Joker!”
Take a deep breath and try that as a not-run-on.
Jayden had already undone the binds on Sarina’s wrist and feat as she ran behind Batman. She felt safe once she was behind her other father.
I am getting a little sick of Sarina damseling it up. She deserves so much better.
“Bruce I forgive you for not saving me, but why would you ever have her as a part of our family!” He shouted. “She could be a damn agent!”
That makes no sense.
“She is nothing like him, she doesn’t want to be like him and she is everything like Barbra. Actually she’s just like Jayden.” Batman said.
First: let her speak for herself, Bats.
Second: She’s nothing like Edgelord. Nothing can be like Edgelord and still count as human.
“Also, I’m not exactly proud of the fact that he’s my father,” Sarina snapped. “You want to know how much a burden I carry you think I don’t wake up from having nightmares of slaughtering people and laughing manically. Hell I almost came close to killing myself one night, but I try my best to move on and leave Joker behind.”
Glad we were told about those really significant pieces of character development and not shown them.
“She’s not a monster Jason. You can count on that.” Jayden said.
*Throws another wad of popcorn*
You shut up!
“Oh then why, why on earth,” He then broke down a closet door revealing Joker to be hidden behind it. “Is he still alive?” Joker looked up at everyone and started to chuckle.
What, didn’t he want to say anything before?
“Gotta give the boy points Bat’s,” He laughed. “He came all the way back from the dead to make this shindig happen. I also can’t believe that Shadow the killer of killers was actually little Sparrow. When he told me I would have laughed my ass off if he wasn’t already beating me with a crowbar and you.” Joker said looking at Sarina who hid behind Batman. “I must say young lady I am quite disappointed in you. Wearing one of Batman’s kiddie costumes is quite disgraceful.”
I do like it when Joker makes fun of Edgelord.
Before he could go on Jason slammed him on the ground and aimed his gun to his temple.
“You’ll be as quite as possible or I’ll put one in your lap first.” Jason said in a low voice causing Joker to pout.
In… his… lap.
Author, your Rooster Teeth references have long since stopped being cute. One might argue that they weren’t cute in the first place.
“Party pooper no cake for you.” Joker grumbled.
Here, have some popcorn instead.
“Ignoring what he’s done in the past. Blindly, stupid, disregarding the graveyards he’s filled, the thousands of who suffered, the friends he’s crippled,”
YOU HAVE BOTH FILLED GRAVEYARDS, YOU INSUFFERABLE, ARROGANT, HYPOCRITICAL, NARCISSISTIC, BOTTOM-FEEDING ANIMALS!
Both Jayden and Batman grimaced at that comment about Barbra.
Author, we’re not these guys:
We know who he’s talking about.
“You know I thought I would be the last person you’d ever let him hurt. If it had been you or Shadow he had beaten to a bloody pulp, if he had taken you from this world I would’ve done nothing but search the planet for this pathetic pile of evil death-worshiping garbage and sent him off to hell!”
‘Cuz you suck.
“What you don’t think I didn’t try,” Jayden said in a shaky voice. “You really insult me and our brother hood. I did everything I could to stop him but he got the better of me and put a round in my head. I was lucky I survived just like you. But I don’t kidnap girls and I don’t slaughter people like animals.”
… Yes, you do. Or is the fact that you “don’t like taking hostages” supposed to absolve you of that? You say you don’t slaughter people like animals, but you’re capable of gunning down six people in cold blood and saying you didn’t feel anything. I’d say that the difference between normal killing and slaughtering people like animals is that when you slaughter animals, it doesn’t matter to you. If a human’s life is as meaningless to you as an animal’s life, that makes you a monster.
Batman shook his head in shame as he looked down at his former comrade.
“You don’t understand,” He said. “I don’t think you ever understood.”
Muffled Voice: Yeah?
Not you. Bats? I think it’s time to lay the verbal smackdown.
“What, your own morale code won’t let you? It’s too hard to cross that line?” Jason asked sarcastically enraging Batman.
Shut up, Jason. Batman is laying the verbal smackdown.
“NO. GOD ALMIGHTY, no.” He said calming down. “It’d be too damn easy all I ever wanted to do was kill him. Not a day goes by where I don’t think about subjecting him to every horrendous torture he’s dealt out to others and then end him.”
Ooh, that was so close to being in character. Just one problem: Bruce is an atheist, I’m pretty sure.
“Aw you do think of me.” Joker cooed.
GAH! Sk1121’s Joker is far too good. It weirds me out in the midst of the otherwise passable-at-best characterization.
“But if I do that, if I allow myself to go down to that place I know I’ll never come back.” He said in a low voice.
Alright. That’ll pass for a smackdown.
“What about you,” He said nodding at Sarina.” You’ve been pretty quiet.”
Look! In that scene! You know who it is! I don’t even need to explain who it is! It’s…
“Oh believe me I always think about wasting his nutty ass.” Sarina growled.
“That’s my girl.” Joker swooned.
“See, this is why I don’t do it. He want’s someone to kill him. Every time he goes away for a devastating crime he’s just waiting for someone to kill him. He wants to have someone come to his cell and just tear him to pieces, whether it’s me or Batman he just wants to break one of us. You see in the end it’s never about money or killing he just wants someone as good as me or Batman to find him and end him, and that’s why I will never be able to kill him.”
I’m still not buying the “trying to get someone to kill him” angle, but close enough.
Shadow looked like he was taking what she was saying into consideration as Jason spoke up.
*Pelts more popcorn*
I don’t care what Edgelord looked like!
“But it’s him, not Penguin, or Riddler or Dent him just him, because…because he took me away from you.” Jason said.
“I can’t do it, I’m sorry.” Batman said in a depressed tone.
“I can’t do it without my lasagna,” Garfield said with depression.
“Yeah, me too.” Jason said as he picked Joker up and held him up in front of him. He then pulled out another gun and threw it at Batman who caught it.
That’s not how guns work, Redgelord.
“I can’t.” Batman growled. “I won’t.”
“I’m gonna blow his derange brains out and if you want to stop me then you’re just gonna have to kill me!” Jason growled in a shaky voice.
Oh, I see what’s going on here. Author, stop regurgitating. We’ve more than established that that’s gross.
“This is turning out better than I thought.” Joker grinned.
“And you,” Jason said as he turned to Shadow. “If you want to be an assassin of peace then you’ll have to stop me from killing the kid!”
“You sick-she has nothing to do with this!” Shadow snarled.
“She’s a potential Joker she said it herself, she has nightmares. She’s just one kill away from becoming just like him!” Jayden then pointed his gun at him.
And yet she’s not the one running around murdering everybody.
“I’ve spent the last seven years in torment for not saving you. Don’t make me killing you be the new burden for the rest of my life!” Shadow roared.
Ow that grammar. And it was eight years, author.
“It’s him or me and if Batman won’t do it then the girl goes with him. You’re the only person, who has what it takes to kill me, so do it!” Jason shouted.
I’m really confused as to what’s going on and what Jason’s plan is. Adding Edgelord and Sarina to this (otherwise regurgitated, naturally) scene just confuses everything.
“Jason!” Shadow growled as he pulled back the hammer on the gun.
Batman got both of their attention when he dropped the gun and turned leading Sarina out of the room. Jason let out another feral growl as he aimed the gun back at Batman.
I think I feel a headache coming on.
Maybe some popcorn will cure it.
*Munch munch munch*
“It’s him or the girl, you have to decide,” Jason shouted as Bruce remained silent. “Decide!”
“I’ve decided,” Shadow said in a low voice causing Jason to look at him. “I’ve decided that you are just another killer who is incapable of change, and like all killers you must atone for your sins.”
Stop being pretentious, Edgelord.
Jason then pointed the gun at Batman and fired. Time went by slowly as Batman dodged the bullet and Sarina dived into a corner. They both threw a batarang Batman at Jason and Sarina at Jayden knocking both their guns out of their hands.
*Tosses popcorn up in the air*
Shadow was lucky as Sarina just knocked it out of his hand, but Batman lodged his batarang into the barrel of Jason’s gun causing it to backfire burning his hand in the process. He fell back in pain as Joker started laughing.
I hate it when Edgelord gets lucky.
Muffled Voice: Bow chicka bow wow!
“You did it, you did it you did it,” He chuckled. “Just when all hope seems lost and there is no way to win you found a way to end it with no one dying. You crazy marksman you, you win while everyone still loses.” He finished with another laugh.
I mean, what did he even do? I guess since Jason decided to shoot at Sarina, who was not at all restrained, that made it significantly easier.
Shadow looked over at Jason and his eyes widened as he saw him holding a detonator. Everyone started hearing beeping as they looked back at the closet to see a bomb with the clock slowly counting down.
And of course it ends with a ‘splosion.
“Jason, stop.” Shadow said as Jason slumped down on the ground.
“It ends here,” Jason whispered as he looked at his younger brother. “Goodbye…Sparrow.”
Jayden quickly rushed over to him while Batman went for the bomb but was tackled to the ground by Joker. He wrapped his hands around his throat choking him while laughing manically.
“This is it, this is what I’ve been waiting for,” Joker howled. “All of us together, my enimes and my daughter all going up in-“
Your “enimes,” huh?
He was cut off by a blunt force to the head as Batman looked up to see Sarina holding Jayden’s magnum by the barrel after clubbing her father with the butt of the gun.
Wait, where’d she get Edgelord’s gun?
“God, even for him he talks too much.” Sarina grunted.
“Even for him?” AUTHOR. Write less confusingly!
Batman quickly grabbed her and Joker, after Sarina helped him over his shoulder and were about to escape when they forgot about Jayden. Batman fired his batclaw out the window and tied the cable to Sarina and her father. With a screech the two were sent flying out the window as Batman lunged for Jayden as the explosion engulfed him and his former comrades.
Well, at least it’s ending with a bang.
Muffled Voice: Bow chicka bow wow!
*Growls* A shame Edgelord isn’t going to die, though.
Sarina was currently dangling from Batman’s line mentally cursing him as she watched the side of the building crumble down on top of them. She quickly tied her dad up and swung over to the building and began to frantically search. She pulled up as much rubble as she could before her other father finally rose from the rubble with Jayden in his arms.
“Bruce,” Sarina exclaimed as she ran over to them. “Are you two okay?”
Jayden solemnly removed himself from Batman’s grasp and slowly walked around the now destroyed room. After a few minutes of blindly wandering he let out a heavy sigh as he picked up his discarded weapons.
*Popcorn, meet screen. Screen, meet popcorn. Or were you two already introduced?*
“Wait, Jayden where are you going?” Sarina asked.
You come right back here for your butt-kicking this instant, young man!
“Where do you think,” He grunted in exhaustion. “I’m going home.”
Not on Batman’s watch, you’re not!
“But what about,” She was gonna ask about Jason but stopped as she felt Batman place a hand on her shoulder. She looked up at his grumpy but soft expression and decided to leave him alone.
“He’s gone, not as in dead but not here,” Jayden sighed. “As for where, I don’t know…You two take care now.”
So this really all accomplished nothing.
Sarina nodded as they watched the lone warrior disappear into the shadows.
Seriously, cut it out with the warrior stuff.
Sarina and Batmna undid Joker’s restraints as the Gotham P.D showed up. Sarina let out a heavy sigh as she collapsed into Batman’s arms unconscious. His face broke out in a soft smile as he carried her bridal style to his car. He had one last thing to do and it was to get his friend home and in bed.
It had been a long night for everyone.
Including me. Except I didn’t write this riff or the last one at night. See you next time, patrons.