2121: The Shadow Warriors – Chapter 16

Title: The Shadow Warriors
Author: Shadow knight1121
Media: Comics
Topic: Justice League
Genre: Crime/Mystery
URL: Chapter 16
Critiqued by BatJamags (GoodJamags and BadJamags)

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your host, GoodJamags…

BadJamags: I hope you choke on your own spit and die.

And he’s your usual host and current guest host, BadJamags, and we’re here with more of the Shadow Warriors! Now, before we get started, here’s your chapterly news briefing:

Opener

Thank you, Anne.

Chapter 16: Ghost From The Past

Ooooooooh, a ghoooooooost! This is 2spooky4me!

BadJamags: It’s going to be a long day, isn’t it?

Authors Note: Okay thank you all for the reviews and the feedback and oc’s.

 BadJamags: GJ…

Yeah, BJ?

BadJamags: Do you think there’s still more OCs?

That depends. Do you want to know what I want to think, or what’s probably actually the case?

BadJamags: Let’s take it in that order.

Alright: no and almost certainly.

BadJamags: Shit.

Okay, my progress is gonna be slow as my laptop is being a dick and the keyboard won’t type certain letters and symbols.

BadJamags: Oh, holy fuck I think I had that problem once. It’s fucking annoying. I use a desktop so I was able to unplug and replug the keyboard and it seemed to resolve the issue, but still.

Alternatively, his laptop is rebelling against having this story typed on it.

BadJamags: So… the laptop is our favorite character?

Sure, why not?

So bear with me and here’s hoping I get a new laptop or a portable keypad either way I’m good. Okay, let’s get this ball rolling.

So, you’re going to type the story while avoiding those letters and characters?

BadJamags: Or copy-paste them.

Huh, that would actually be a lot of effort.

BadJamags: That’s fuckin’ dedication, right there. Which is why I’m guessing this lazy ass-author won’t do it.

Disclaimer: I do…not own Batman.

I was going to start snipping these but then you had to go and put that shifty ellipsis in there. What’s that about?

Batman and Batgirl were currently standing in front of Joker who was currently looking at the photo of Red Hood. Batgirl felt a little uneasy being this close to him again, she could have stayed outside but if she was serious about being Batgirl she needed to confront her fears. She was broken from her thoughts when Joker started to chuckle.

“These kids these days,” He mused. “They slap a mask on and they think they are to be feared. When I wore it, it meant something.”

BadJamags: I see the frighteningly adequate characterization of the Joker is still being muddled by this author’s inability to produce competent prose.

“Who is he?” Batgirl asked.

He’s the Joker, but that’s not important right now.

“I couldn’t say I don’t have x-ray vision. My guess is he just wants to make a name for himself. Poor kids they are so neglected that they will do anything for attention.” Joker said in false sorrow.

BadJamags: Yeah, like mocking bad fanfiction on the internet.

Your self-deprecation can get really repetitive, you know that?

BadJamags: Oh, shut up.

“Don’t toy with us Joker,” Batman growled. “If I find out you had anything to do with him.”

Batman: I’ll speak. In complete sentences!

“You’ll what put me in a body cast again?” He asked playfully. “By the way I like the new Batgirl she has spunk, tell me sweetie do you know what I did to the last Batgirl?”

Yes, probably, but you don’t. The Joker has no way of knowing that Barbara Gordon was Batgirl.

Batgirl fought the urge to gulp for she didn’t want to show any fear. She knew that if he saw even a bead of sweat he had already won.

BadJamags: Well, then get one of the guards to turn up the A/C.

“You put her in a wheelchair after shooting her in the back.” She said as brave as she could. “Did you know that the last Batgirl was the one who sent B-Man the location to your hideout?”

That’s a really odd way of phrasing that, because it sounds like the Joker was the one who physically placed her in the chair. And I think Barbara was shot in the front, right? Or is Shadow knight1121 filling in some alternate version of events? In The Killing Joke, the Joker attacked Barbara in her home and it was Jim he kidnapped to the hideout.

Joker grimaced at her as he turned back to Batman. He then brightened right up as the two made eye contact.

“Speaking of replacements how’s the new Robin doing, seeing as he’s not six feet under I would say fine hmm?” Joker teased. “What about Sparrow did you find his replacement yet, I don’t think the old one will be of much use since he’s probably drooling in a cup.”

BadJamags: No, drooling would indicate that he has the brain power to produce saliva. His condition is much worse than that.

Batman let out a roar as he wrapped his hand around Joker’s throat and slammed him against the wall of his cell. Joker let out a grunt at first but then started to chuckle.

“Go ahead do it,” He encouraged. “You could end it in one swift move. Hell you could probably snap my neck in half like a twig.”

And again with the suicidal Joker thing! I mean, I guess he does kind of want to see Batman break his code, but I never thought of the Joker as actually intending to get himself killed.

Batman let out another grunt as he let go of Joker. He slumped to the floor as Batman stormed out of the room. Batgirl glanced at Joker once more before following Batman.

“See ya around kid.” Joker hissed sending chills down the girl’s spine.

BadJamags: Spooky. Some would say it’s 2spooky4-

*SLAP!*

No. BadJamags.

Batman and Batgirl went to their vehicles as the two went over what had happened.

“Are you okay?” She asked.

Batman: No – I’m Batman.

“Yeah, just need to figure out what’s gonna happen if Jayden finds this guy.” Batman said.

“He’ll try and kill him.” Batgirl said.

NO REALLY YA THINK?

“I don’t know I get the feeling there’s something more to this.” Batman said.

Wow, the author is really trying to prolong this twist. Here’s a hint: most of your audience knows that Red Hood 2: Electric Boogaloo is Jason Todd. You’re not writing well enough to make the mystery compelling. So just get to the point.

The two then started up their rides and drove away. Meanwhile on the top of the roof of the Asylum Shadow, Ronin and Dusk were listening on the conversation the whole time. Whether Batman knew or not made no difference they found nothing. Shadow wanted to go in and waste Joker for those crude comments about him and his family but he decided against it.

BadJamags: Why? I mean, aren’t you the dipshit who’s spent the last fifteen chapters moaning about how it would be so much better just to kill the Joker? You self-righteous, hypocritical twat.

“So what now?” Dusk asked.

“We look for Hood.” Shadow stated.

Look! On top of that Asylum!

BadJamags: It’s a crazy person!

It’s a guy on a roof!

BadJamags: It’s…

CAPTAIN OBVIOUS!

“Yeah, how?” Ronin asked.

“Simple, this guy is going after the major crime lords of this town.” Shadow started. “So, he’s obviously going after the ones who are still out of prison. Two-Face, Joker and now Cobblepot he’s going after the king of organized crime. That’s how we’ll catch him.”

So your plan for catching him is to stop him from doing the thing he’s doing.

BadJamags: Aha! The Red Hood will never be able to counter tactical genius of that caliber!

“You’re talking about Blackmask, I thought we arrested him already?” Ronin asked.

BadJamags: Black Mask? The king of organized crime? Try Rupert Thorne, Carmine Falcone, or the Penguin, depending on continuity and timeline. Don’t get me wrong, Black Mask is a powerful mob boss, but I think you’re overselling him a little.

“He had the trial postponed he’s using us as fall guys saying we threatened him if he didn’t come to that sanctuary.”

Hey, I’ll believe it. In fact, going to back to my Edgelord-is-the-real-villain conspiracy theory, it may even be true. And that would explain how Edgelord knew that Deathstroke was working for someone else (namely, Edgelord himself).

“What a loser.” Dusk said. “So now we wait for him to make a move?”

Just then an explosion went off across town as Shadow grinned under his mask.

“Yup.” He said as he and his friends moved out.

BadJamags: And Edgelord is grinning about people probably getting killed because he planned it, right?

Nah, that’s just because he’s a psycho.

The trio made it outside of one of Blackmask’s drug dens which was currently burning to the ground. It was a nightclub in the middle of the town very populated and very expensive. No one would ever think to look here.

Black Mask. Two words.

No one except Shadow and Batman.

BadJamags: And all the other emergency responders who would most likely arrive on the scene of an explosion.

They currently looked around the burning building to see if Hood was anywhere in sight.

“Shadow up there!” Dusk exclaimed.

There’s a shadow up there? Somebody tell Peter Pan to get after it!

The team looked up to see Red Hood running along the rooftop edges. Ronin pointed his wrist gun at the roof and fired a cable launching himself to the roof as Shadow and Dusk used their grappling guns. Once at the top Shadow pulled out his gun and pointed it at Hood.

BadJamags: But paused when he realized Hood was a kindred spirit.

“Hold it!” Shadow said as Hood stopped in his tracks.

Dusk pulled out his glock and Ronin held up his scalers. Hood slowly stepped forwards as the three prepared for a fight.

Whoever loses, we win.

“Guns?” Hood said in disbelief. “Since when do heroes use guns?”

“What gave you the impression that we’re heroes?” Shadow said.

BadJamags: No, don’t you remember? They’re “warriors.”

Megalomaniacal serial killers, to be specific.

Good point, I like you guys already. You’re like me.” Hood chuckled.

Accurate.

“No, we kill if we have to and to ensure peace,” Ronin snapped. “What you’re doing is slaughtering people.”

BadJamags: Distinction without a difference.

There is a difference. It’s just that Weeaboo is lying. The Dork Patrol is killing unnecessarily so as to subvert the normal criminal justice system. They don’t have any right to hold that over Hood here.

“No, I’m making a point,” He said. “Crime is unstoppable you can’t stop it but I found out you can control it.”

Hey, BJ?

BadJamags: Yeah?

Good Jamags: I’m sorry I keep stealing your main riffer privileges. Here, you can take over.

Oh. Well. OK. Thank-

*Alarms blare*

You son of a bitch.

*Headshotted in the head*

*GoodJamags gives BadJamags his nametag back*

That one never gets old.

“Making you the only criminal.” Dusk snapped.

Nah, there are plenty of criminals. Like you, for instance.

“So what, are you gonna arrest me?” Hood chuckled.

No, of course not! They’re going to slaughter you! But it’ll be “in the name of peace,” so it’s OK.

“Actually, we are assassins.” Shadow said in a low voice.

*Murderers.

Just then he fired a round straight into the center of Hood’s head. He fell back only for his body to fizzle out revealing it to be a hologram. The real Hood dashed towards Shadow and smacked his gun out of his hand. Shadow quickly pulled his sword out, but Hood had already drawn his gun and shot his sword out of his hands.

Aside from how none of this makes any sense, I do appreciate this author’s willingness to let Edgelord lose.

Well, snip an excruciatingly boring fight with Red Hood that ends with some grenades going off. Hood wins, by the way.

Shadow stirred for a moment as he looked up to see Hood standing above him. His hands were behind his back as he kneeled down and pulled a small envelope from his pocket. He then placed it in Shadow’s coat pocket as he started talking.

BadJamags: Given what a dick Red Hood is, canon-wise, I can’t bring myself to be happy about this.

“It hurts doesn’t it,” He asked. “And those were just frag grenades try surviving a full on blast from a couple pounds of C-4.” He said as he let out a dark chuckle. The sounds of fire trucks and ambulances started echoing throughout the city as Hood stood up. “You really have change Ja-“

Well, you know. He’s got a couple nickels and quarters here and there. No big.

He was cut off by the Bat jet’s engines roaring up above. Hood let out a curse as he took off running. Batman, Robin and Batgirl jumped out of the jet and approached the fallen warriors. Shadow waved his hand at them as Batgirl tried to help him.

BadJamags: Yes! Run, idiots! The real heroes are here!

“Just go after him already we’ll be fine.” Shadow grunted as Batman and Robin took off after Hood. Batgirl was hesitant at first but eventually went after him. Shadow got up and staggered over to Dusk who was busy treating Ronin.

What?! They’re not going to take the idiots prisoner?

“Is he alright?” Shadow asked.

“Yeah, he has a piece of shrapnel in his leg but he’ll be fine.” Dusk said as he bandaged up Ronin’s leg. “What the hell happened back there, it’s like he knew our every move and every tactic.”

BadJamags: I don’t know, but I’d guess he knew your every move and every tactic.

“I don’t know, but what I do know is that I’m getting you out of here.” Shadow said as he helped Ronin off the roof.

Ooh, line break!

BadJamags: I hate you.

And snip a boring chase scene involving questionable physics and Red Hood apparently riding a bicycle (I mean, it could be a motorcycle, but all the fic says is “bike”).

And then a line break!

Back at Wayne Manor Sarina was currently in the shower washing off all the dust and grime from her latest crime fighting brigade. She was still going over everything that had happened tonight trying to figure out what that guy’s plan was. It wasn’t robbery since he burned the place down and it wasn’t just reckless vandalism due to the fact that most of Black Mask’s top goons were in that nightclub. It was obviously a hit but the only person who could confirm it was Shadow and he wasn’t going to help them in any way shape or form.

BadJamags: You know exactly what he’s doing. He’s acting like Edgelord and running around killin’ folk.

“What an ass.” She muttered as she rinsed her special shampoo from her hair.

“I’ll say.” A voice whispered behind her. She froze when she heard the voice but her heart stopped when she felt the barrel of a gun press at the back of her head.

*Sigh* Don’t be creepy like that, Edgelord. At least wait for her to get out of the shower.

Down in the Bat Cave, Bruce and Tim were currently going over any potential evidence as they went through multiple files on the computer.

I’m starting to hate the word “multiple.”

“I’m sorry, but this guy was obviously leading us on.” Tim said. “He wasn’t running wildly, he knew every turn of that city block and had planted those explosives ahead of time.”

“I know, and not to mention he beat down Shadow and his two top lieutenant’s. No way was he an ordinary mercenary he took all three of them down with little ease and little equipment.” Bruce pondered.

BadJamags: Whoa this guy planned a thing. That’s crazy. Far beyond Edgelord’s tactical abilities, at least.

“I wouldn’t say he took us out.” An all too familiar voice echoed through the cave.

I would.

Tim and Bruce looked up at the entrance of the cave and Tim started to get angry as he saw Jayden holding a soak and wet Sarina in front of him while holding a Walther ppk under Sarina’s chin. Sarina was currently wearing her silk bathrobe as Jayden wore a dark jacket with a beige fur outline on his hood, which he was wearing and the cuffs on his wrist.

BadJamags: Well, that’s incoherent.

“Jayden, what do you want.” Bruce asked in a calm voice.

“You have something that belongs to me and I would really like it back.” Jayden said as he kept his gaze trained on Tim.

“If you hurt her,” Tim growled.

“It’s not gonna come to that,” Jayden snapped. “I just want my suit back and a suppressant.”

What a jerk.

BadJamags: Can this guy just fucking die already?

“Fine, but I want Sarina released and the gun. Deal?” Bruce asked.

Jayden nodded as Bruce got up and retrieved a briefcase from off of one of his tables. He placed it on the ground and kicked it over to Jayden who let Sarina go. She rushed over to Tim as he wrapped his arms around her.

Jayden took the case and walked over to the display case that had his Sparrow suit in it.

Captain Jack Sparrow.

“What about the gun?” Bruce asked.

Jayden looked down at his small shiny handgun and casually tossed it at Tim who caught it. Tim closely examined the gun only to find out that there were no bullets in it. Tim and Sarina looked up confused at Jayden who had already started packing his suit up.

“I don’t like taking hostages.” Jayden said as he placed his boots in the metal case.

BadJamags: *SNERK* Oh, that’s rich. You’ll kill… how many people now? Twenty? Fifty? A hundred? But you don’t like taking hostages. Poor baby.

“Why are you even here?” Tim asked.

“To get my suit back,” Jayden said. “Like Shadow, Sparrow was my idea, my suit and my legacy. I want it back. That’s all…but while I’m here I figured I lend a hand.”

What makes you think they want your help? What makes you think you can help? ‘Cuz you kinda suck.

“What do you know?” Bruce asked as he sat back down at his computer.

“His name is Red Hood, just like that old villain that Joker used to be,” Jayden started. “His goal is similar to mine but at a different cost. He says he’s Gotham’s new face for justice but really he’s just another criminal.”

BadJamags: You’ve told them nothing new, and just managed to make another non-distinction.

“What does that make you?” Tim snapped.

“Call me what you want, but I don’t bomb nightclubs full of innocent people just to take out a few button men.” Jayden said. “Anyways, we fought him but he evaded us using a holographic imager belt which my companion destroyed. Not only that, but it could also scramble with your sensors as well. He was highly trained and he knew every one of my moves.”

You’re still not providing useful information. And you absolutely will shoot up night clubs full of innocent people since that’s literally the first thing we ever saw you doing, you arrogant, preening hypocrite!

“You’re not the only one.” Sarina said.

“Take a look at this.” Bruce said as Jayden walked over to the screen and watched Bruce’s cable wrap around Hood’s ankle only for him to cut it off.

“Your right,” Jayden said in a small astonishment. “He cut it off before it could even attach to him.”

Physics don’t work like that.

“Not to mention that knife.” Bruce said. “No blade could cut through my line except yours.”

BadJamags: Blades don’t work like that.

“Yup, we got ourselves on crazy son of a bitch.” Jayden said as he placed a small manila envelope in front of Bruce.

… And his name is Edgelord. Or “Shadow,” but only if you’re telling him that he sucks. You suck, Shadow.

He looked up at the young man who gave him a nod. “We’ll that’s all folks, if you excuse me I have to go home and hang up my new suit.”

BadJamags: You don’t think you’re going to leave that easily, do you?

He started out towards the door when Sarina stood in front of him blocking his path.

BadJamags: *Smirk* Idio-

BAAAAAAAA!

 *GONG*

“Wait, why did you really come here?” She asked.

“I told you I wanted my suit back.” Jayden said as he held up the case. “Oh, and the suppressant.” He said as he pocketed the needle. “By the way Bruce, did you happen to lose one of these that night you and I rescued Sarina?” He asked playfully. Bruce remained silent before answering.

“Yes.” He said in his monotone voice.

“Hmm, you know what they say, when the age starts to show the minds the first thing to go.” He teased. “I wonder who will catch this guy first.”

Batman. He caught him back in… 2005, apparently.

Just then he started to walk out when Sarina ran up and slapped him across the face.

“That’s for interrupting my shower you perv.” She grunted.

You tell him, Sarina!

“It wasn’t intentional, just poor timing. I am sorry though for tonight it won’t happen again.” He said as he finally left with briefcase in hand. “I honor your relationship with Tim as I do with Ally.” He yelled down at her.

BadJamags: Edgelord, that’s bullshit and you know it.

The three remained silent before Sarina finally spoke.

“You do know he came here to actually help right?” Sarina said in a chipper tone.

BadJamags: He went there to be a smug, self-righteous, hypocritical dickstain.

“Of course, he could have come over and get the suit in the morning but he wanted to help us with what we were doing.” Bruce said. “I think some remnants of that costume are still lingering in there somewhere.”

Huh?

Afterwards Sarina and Tim left the cave as Bruce typed in his computer. He replayed the part where Hood talked to him before he left.

“Nice to see you haven’t lost your touch B-“Was all he heard. He then chopped it down bit by bit as he figured out what he said. “Nice to see you haven’t lost your touch Bruce.”

That’s… not how recordings work.

Bruce’s eyes shot open as he slowly looked down at the envelope Jayden left behind for the syringe. He opened the small slit and dumped the contents out in his hands revealing it to be a small crest with the letter ‘R’ on it.

Bruce quickly got up from his chair and went over to the display case that held Jason’s old tattered Robin suit. Bruce held up the circular crest up to the white bleached mark on the left side of the chest.

They were a perfect match.

Much shock. Very surprise.

“I-It can’t be…” Jayden said as he played back the recording from his glasses.

“You really have changed Jayden.” Red Hood said as Jayden looked down at his old suit.

“Jason Todd…My brother?”

Wait, what the heck? I thought Edgelord left? And what’s Red Hood doing here? Or… wait, what the crap is going on?!

BadJamags: Some bullshit. Just like it’s going to be some bullshit when this idiot tries to lock me back up in the basement. Well, this time, I’m not going! You’ll just have to

*Looks over at the empty, butter-stained chair where BadJamags was just sitting*

And with perfect timing, too. I’ll have to give them a bonus for that. Well, see ya next time, folks!

*SLAM!*


34 Comments on “2121: The Shadow Warriors – Chapter 16”

  1. ME-Iron-Maiden says:

    So… shrapnel and fragmentation in the legs from grenades going off plus a couple pounds of C4 doing the same in close quarters? Unless you’re Clayface, Solomon Grundy, a Lantern who has a shield up, or a Kryptonian, you’re going to be dead or dying. At best, we’re talking leg amputation due to the damage sustained. But it’s more likely that the idiots would bleed out from the leg wounds and have their lungs pulverized by overpressure barotrauma due to being right on top of a major explosion.

  2. Anne Eyewitness says:

    Now, before we get started, here’s your chapterly news briefing:

    Yay, I’m contributing!

  3. Anne Eyewitness says:

    Try Rupert Thorne…

    I would, but Batman killed him.

  4. Anne Eyewitness says:

    “Shadow up there!” Dusk exclaimed.

  5. Anne Eyewitness says:

    “Actually, we are assassins.” Shadow said in a low voice.
    Just then he fired a round straight into the center of Hood’s head.

    That’s the worst pre-kill quip I’ve ever heard in my life.

    • ME-Iron-Maiden says:

      No joke. On the other hand, one of my favorites is from Without Remorse where the protagonist gets ready to execute a criminal he’s interrogated. When the Mook asks why he’s being killed after talking, the protagonist simply says “practice” before blowing the mook’s head off.

      • BatJamags says:

        Personal favorite:

        Though in general, I tend to favor the James Bond school of thought that it’s safer to drop your one-liner after you already know the person is dead.

        • ME-Iron-Maiden says:

          For us Trekkies, it’s a bit painful seeing “Plain, Simple Garak” get blown away like that.

  6. Anne Eyewitness says:

    “…He says he’s Gotham’s new face for justice but really he’s just another criminal.”

    That’s Edgelord covered. What about Red Hood?

  7. ZuesKillerProductions says:

    Wow, the author is really trying to prolong this twist. Here’s a hint: most of your audience knows that Red Hood 2: Electric Boogaloo is Jason Todd. You’re not writing well enough to make the mystery compelling. So just get to the point.

    Can someone bring up the Monty Python Clip?

  8. AdmiralSakai says:

    Chapter 16: Ghost From The Past

  9. ZuesKillerProductions says:

    “Jason Todd…My brother?”

    THAT’S the plot twist? That…this is starting to make my brain hurt.

  10. AdmiralSakai says:

    Batman and Batgirl were currently standing in front of Joker who was currently looking at the photo of Red Hood.

    Who was watching Bats make an unnecessary and snarky comment on SC’s head hurting because of SC’s late, awkward addition to the chain after AdmiralSakai’s comment in reply to the GoodJamags ruining BadJamags’ chainbreaking in response to Swenia’s sexual reference based on Nina’s reply to AdmiralSakai’s comment on Taco’s riff of Eve’s giggling at Wall-e’s reaction to MO’s brush pile.

  11. AdmiralSakai says:

    Batman let out a roar as he wrapped his hand around Joker’s throat and slammed him against the wall of his cell.

    Great, now this is going to turn into another Shekarian ‘fic.

  12. AdmiralSakai says:

    Meanwhile on the top of the roof of the Asylum

    As opposed to the bottom of the roof of the Asylum…

  13. AdmiralSakai says:

    The trio made it outside of one of Blackmask’s drug dens which was currently burning to the ground. It was a nightclub in the middle of the town very populated and very expensive. No one would ever think to look here.

    Yeah, who’d ever expect drug deals to be going down in a nightclub?

  14. AdmiralSakai says:

    “Yeah, he has a piece of shrapnel in his leg but he’ll be fine.” Dusk said as he bandaged up Ronin’s leg. “What the hell happened back there, it’s like he knew our every move and every tactic.”

    BadJamags: I don’t know, but I’d guess he knew your every move and every tactic.

    Yeah, it’s almost like you guys are predictable or something!

  15. AdmiralSakai says:

    Tim and Bruce looked up at the entrance of the cave and Tim started to get angry

    But ran out of steam and only ended up slightly peeved.

  16. AdmiralSakai says:

    “Call me what you want, but I don’t bomb nightclubs full of innocent people just to take out a few button men.” Jayden said.

    What the fuck are “button men”?

    • ME-Iron-Maiden says:

      “Button men” is older slang for “made men” in the Mafia. The only way to get “made” or “get your button” is to commit a murder on orders from the Family. Used to be that being the Wheelman for a killer was acceptable to get made but undercover cops would go that route to infiltrate the Families and so only the trigger man gets made these days.

      Basically, the “button men” are full members of the Family and proven murderers.

  17. AdmiralSakai says:

    “I-It can’t be…” Jayden said as he played back the recording from his glasses.

    There must be other factors?

  18. TacoMagic says:

    “I don’t like taking hostages.” Jayden said as he placed his boots in the metal case.

    Which didn’t really prevent you from taking one. But I’m sure it’s one of those things that holds up in the court of law:

    “Sir, you stand accused of taking a hostage at gunpoint.”

    Dude, the gun wasn’t even loaded and I totally hated doing it.

    “Oh, well, by all means then. Court adjured forever.”


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