1945: The Shadow Warriors – Chapter Eight

Title: The Shadow Warriors
Author: Shadow knight1121
Media: Comics
Topic: Justice League
Genre: Crime/Mystery
URL: Chapter 8
Critiqued by BatJamags (GoodJamags)

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your guest host, BatJamags, and I’m back with more of The Shadow Warriors, the train wreck of a fic that wants to be about Batman but also doesn’t like him for some reason.

Chapter 8: Here To Stay part 2

… It’s a separate chapter. There’s no need to make it part 2 of the last chapter. Just admit you couldn’t think of another title.

Which is why chapter titles are a bad idea unless you can plan them out ahead of time.

Authors Note: Thank you all for your support I really enjoy your positive feedback. I love all your oc’s, both criminal and hero and unique back stories I hope you stick around this is only gonna get better.

Now that sounds ominous.

[Note from THE FUTURE: It doesn’t… only get better, but there is a marked increase in quality starting in the next chapter after this one. It doesn’t last, but it’s better than what we’ve seen so far.]

Disclaimer: I do not own Batman.

One does not own Batman. Batman owns you.

Jayden had awakened to Ally draped over him as he had awakened in his bed at home. He looked around to see both his clothes and her clothes lying on the floor. He grinned smugly as he remembered the interment moments that had happened only a few short hours ago. After their first big score the team had come back to celebrate everyone even Thomas and Ronin the two biggest sticks in the mud.

These certainly sound like mature superheroes and not horny teenagers.

He then took Ally away from the group and went to his room and did things that will never leave the room. He pulled the blanket up to cover her and smiled as she let out a sigh of comfort. Jayden put on his robe and walked out into the living room to see Blaze face down on the couch, Sam sleeping on the floor and the rest of the crew were probably sober enough to make their way back to their own floors.

And aren’t, like, half these people teenagers or younger? Some vigilantes you people are.

Jayden walked onto the patio to see Flynn lying in a patio chair with Hilary lying on his chest. He let out a chuckle as he saw that he was awake.

Everything about this just feels like the author showing off how obnoxiously masculine he is when he’s more than covered that with all the edge going around.

“Well looks like I wasn’t the only one who got lucky last night.” Jayden said.

Do we care? No. Does the author think it makes him look cool to bring it up? Yes. Does it? No.

“Shut up.” Flynn groaned. “You know we can’t do stuff like last night after every major bust, right?”

This is what you’re going to try to squeeze conflict from?

“Eh, let them cut loose.” Jayden said. “We can’t wallow in self-pity for the rest of our lives otherwise what’s the point of living?”

Wallowing in self-pity for the rest of your lives or what’s implied to be some kind of drunken orgy. Those are your only options.

ONLY OPTIONS!

“It’ll never work out for me Jayden.” Flynn said. “People like you and me we were born alone and we’ll die alone.”

And where did this come from?

“Not me, I mean I used to think like that but since I met Ally I don’t want to die alone.” Jayden said.

To be fair, he didn’t say you wanted to.

“How did you two meet anyways?” Flynn asked.

Boring stuff happened.

“How did you two meet?” He said referring to Hilary.

That’s a non-answer.

“Well…”

Sovereign: Well, we were out doing our Frank Castle serial killer bullshit…

(Flashback)

Muffled Voice: Kindly shove half a glass bottle through your intestines! Broken end first!

Yeah, basically what he said. Also, shut up! You’re not in this riff!

Higirl was currently chasing Killer Croc around the junk yard with her favorite double barrel sawed off shotgun. She had him cornered in a pile of scrap as she loaded two shells into her gun.

See? They were doing their Frank Castle serial killer bullcrap!

“See you later alligator.” She whispered before pointing her gun at him.

BOO!

His yellow eyes narrowed at her as she squeezed the trigger. She fired but her gun was knocked out of her hands causing her to miss.

Yeah, that does tend to throw off your aim, doesn’t it?

She looked up to see a cloaked man currently beating the crap out of Croc.

Because that’s just that easy to do.

“He’s a crocodile not and alligator.” He said as he smacked the blunt side of his scythe across the side of Crocs skull knocking him out.

What a creative and original joke that totally hasn’t been used in basically everything involving crocodiles or alligators.

“I don’t give a crap what he is he’s my mark!” She scoffed as she drew her dual .45’s. “And you’re not getting in my way!”

Pretty sure he is.

He turned and was surprised that this girl had shown not even the slightest of fear. He stood before her wearing his skull mask and held his scythe over his shoulder as if he were death himself.

Yeah, Sovereign? You’re not as scary as you think you are.

“You should go home.” He said sternly as he turned to Croc.

Pretty please?

She let out a snarl as she pointed her guns at him and fired at him.

*Alarms blare*

Say… was it my turn to feed the man-eating pumas in the lobby?

*Roaring and screaming*

Well, I guess it’s done now.

He moved like a shadow as he disappeared from her sight only to reappear right next to her. She whipped her guns around only for him to knock them out of her hands. She then took an attack pose and swiped her leg across his head. He stumbled back but quickly dashed back at her. He swiped his scythe at her but missed every time as she back flipped away from him.

Well, this is a terribly exciting fight. As in, the author’s attempts to make it exciting are terrible.

“You’ll have to do better than that!” She quipped.

Stop Stupard-quipping.

“I don’t like fighting girls.” He deadpanned.

That’s racist.

“Well, I’m not like most girls.” She shot back.

I’m not sure, but I think that’s also racist.

She pulled out two snub noses from her ankle holsters and fired at him but ended up hitting nothing but ground.

Nice aim.

He had disappeared once again as she carefully looked around for him. Before she could continue she was knocked away by a massive fist.

I hate it when random massive fists knock me away.

As she was slammed against the wall she saw Croc towering over her with his foot raised. She raised her hands in defense as she prepared for the worst.

She’s preparing for this fic? I suppose this is chronologically her first appearance.

The worst never came as Croc was on his back with Reaper standing over him.

No, I’m pretty sure this fic happened.

She looked at him in awe at how he had taken down Croc so fast. She was then broken from her daydream when she felt a pair of cuffs on her wrist.

That wasn’t much of a daydream.

“What gives?” She asked.

You’re a psychotic serial killer?

“Sorry, but I can’t have you killing him I kind of owe him.” He said as he started walking away.

Sovereign: He taught me how to use punctuation

Agent 63: I can tell.

“Hey, um what’s your name?” She asked.

Sovereign: In the end, what they choose to call us is irrelevant. We simply are.

“Reaper.” He said.

That’s still the most pretentious name ever, and ripped off from a billion other characters.

“Who trained you Batman?”

No, he’s Reaper. Haven’t you been paying attention?

“No, his shadow.” He shot back.

That’s not remotely clever.

He disappeared into the night as she broke free from her cuffs.

Those weren’t very well-designed cuffs if a normal human could just break them.

From that point on she vowed that she would learn everything about Reaper. She had met a lot of men and a lot of marks and she had gotten every one of them. She vowed that she would get Reaper to after all all’s fair in love and war.

I don’t even know what you’re trying to say here.

(Flashback End)

*Sigh* You could’ve just put it in italics.

After what Flynn had just told Jayden he started laughing as Flynn grumbled at him.

By the way, if Sovereign’s telling this story, why is it from Agent 63’s point of view?

“What’s so funny?” He asked.

That the author thinks these characters are interesting and/or cool.

“Nothing, just amazed at how quick she fell in love for some guy who wears a mask all the time.” He chuckled.

Almost like the romance was poorly developed or something.

“I’m not wearing one now,” He said in a low voice. “In fact this is the first time in a while I’ve gone this long without it. Besides who cares if I wear a mask or not or if I find someone someday?”

I mean, that doesn’t really follow from what he said.

Jayden stopped laughing and took a more serious approach.

See, now I have the mental image of Edgelord laughing hysterically through that entire conversation and then suddenly stopping mid-cackle and going all dark and serious.

“Listen, there’s not a lot I can teach you anymore but there is one thing I can tell you,” He said. “You don’t want to spend the rest of your life alone. I mean we have a good thing going now sure, we’re young, athletic and tough. Then one day your surrounded by five thugs which you can easily defeat when you realize that it takes you three punches to knock the bastard out when it used to take you one and how you use to run a mile and still have energy to spare and now you can’t even run a block without running out of breath.”

Ow. I kind of get what he thinks he’s saying, but that’s really just a mess, not to mention that giant run-on.

“What’s your point?” Flynn asked getting irritated at Jayden’s statements.

You too, huh?

Sovereign: Your words are as empty as your future. Y-

Shut up, we already used that line.

“My point is that we aren’t gonna stay young forever. We can beat anyone or anything that comes our way

Except Batman. No one beats Batman.

but we can’t beat time. Me I found a girl I want her and I’m gonna spend the rest of my life with her. Batman, he’s gonna be alone forever and when he’s old he’s gonna have nothing. No Batman, no wife nothing.”

Batman? Get old? Man, even age itself knows when to get out of Batman’s way. He’s been vaguely middle-aged for decades.

“So, you’re saying I should just fall in love with Hilary out of fear of being alone?” Flynn asked.

There are worse reasons, I suppose.

“No, I’m saying don’t waste a good thing especially love.” Jayden said.

Maybe that’s why he’s being so tight with the punctuation. Don’t worry, man. We’ve got a Spare Punctuation Box; it’ll go to a good cause.

The two said nothing as the sun rose in the horizon and Hilary still slept on his chest. Flynn thought many times to just push her off or get up instead he just let her rest on him. She made soft stirring noises which he would admit he thought were cute as he thought about what Jayden said.

Alright, don’t care.

Later that week after a day of school Sam Jackson had just gotten done with his classes for the day as he walked over to his bike. He looked around at all the teenagers as they laughed with their friends and the couples shared small kisses. Sam let out a sigh of depression as he was about to put on his helmet when someone caught his eyes.

Author, please stop shipping your OCs. No one cares.

Her shot blonde hair her bright blue eyes and the way her body looked in her plaid purple mini skirt and tank top.

That’s not a sentence. Also, plaid purple miniskirt? Alright, show of hands, who would actually wear that?

Large Warship the Owl: *Flapping one wing* Hoo!

No you wouldn’t.

Large Warship the Owl: Hoo.

I thought so.

“Kris…” He whispered as he ran after her.

*Sigh*

Before she knew what had happened a hand wrapped around her waist and a figure spun her around lowering her down. She looked up to see Sam causing her eyes to widen.

Holy crap, man. “Hey, Kris!” works too.

“Hey baby.” She whispered as the two kissed.

And I’m sure she’ll be very well-developed.

Sam and Kris sat at a little café sipping coffee as the two caught up. Sam had been careful not to go into too many details about Jayden and his friends but told her about being a Shadow Warrior.

Oh, that’s a smart move, Sam Motherfuckin’ Jackson. Real smart. Just tell her about your secret identity and which group you’re working with. It’s not like that’s enough information to trace you back to them or anything.

Muffled Voice: Loose lips sink ships!

Yeah, that.

“Wow,” She said. “You’ve been really busy.”

Not really. Since all these morons got recruited, they’ve gone on one mission together.

“Yeah, what about you though Jesus I thought you were killed they said all members were killed.” Sam expressed.

All members? All members of what? No, I can’t be bothered to look up Sam’s generic backstory. Do you blame me?

Also, “expressed” is just about the stupidest word you could’ve used there.

“I thought you were killed too, but I managed to get away thanks to Mr. Wayne,” She said. “Just before one of the guards tried to kill me he appeared out of nowhere and took him out. No joke Bruce Wayne beat the crap out of him and dismantled his gun under like five seconds.” She chuckled as Sam raised an eyebrow. He never would have guessed a playboy billionaire like Wayne would ever get into a fight or stick around for one at that. He always ran the hell away as Jayden said before Batman showed up and beat the crap out of everyone.

OK, here we go. Edgelord was raised by Bruce, became a superhero, but never figured out that Bruce was Batman?

…

How?

“So, what happened after Bruce saved you?” Sam asked.

Probably some stupid stuff.

“He then left me with some friends of his they were happy to take care of me,” She explained. “They also worked for Wayne and had more than enough money to send me to school and that’s what I’ve been doing ever since.”

Much care. Very interest.

“Great you said you wanted to be an architect right?” Sam asked.

Not likely to happen. Architecture is extremely hard to get into if you don’t know somebody who’s an architect.

“I’m going to college next year, what about you?” She asked.

Probably doing something all edgy.

“I’m not sure yet I wanna focus on graduating before I think of that,” He said. “Maybe I’ll go to law school become a lawyer and get into politics. Then maybe I can find the bastards who ransacked our home and kidnapped all of our friends.”

Yep. Oh, and politics? I don’t think so. When the police find out that you’re part of a group of murderous vigilantes, it won’t exactly work wonders for your campaign.

The mood suddenly darkened around them as Kris looked at him with disappointment.

Kris: You went all edgy on me.

“And then what kill them?” She snapped.

Yes.

“Well, I don’t know I swore on Vulcan that I would.” He said as he showed her his gauntlets.

See, even his Savior Stu Superpower Gauntlets want him to be a psycho.

“Jesus Sam,” She hissed. “What if that things manipulating you?”

Not much “what if” about it.

“It’s not I am the new demi god of fire.” He said with a little broadness.

Oh, that will make you sound sane.

“No, you’re an idiot messing with things you don’t understand.” She admitted. “You always fucked around with your power even before you got those gloves now you’re even more unstable.”

I like Kris. Mark her as a candidate for extraction.

Random Underling: Done.

“Hey,” He snapped. “I’m trying to control them bit by bit and I will soon master these gauntlets just like Vulcan did. Also I’ll have you know that I’m only thinking of killing those assholes because of what they did to us, or are you so into your new pampered life that you’ve forgotten where you really come from.”

This guy is perfect villain material.

Kris splashed her piping hot coffee in Sam’s face but didn’t flinch as Kris breathed heavily. He could tell that he had pissed her off and right now she was trying her best to keep herself contained.

Ooh, I really like Kris.

“I light myself on fire all the time sweetheart coffee is nothing but water to me.” He deadpanned.

Water can be hot, too. Also, iced coffee exists, even though it’s a crime against nature, goodness, and freedom.

“You haven’t changed a bit. I haven’t forgotten where I come from but it didn’t do me any good either. All it did was bring me pain and misery and I don’t want to end up back there. You though are hell bent on finding them that your willing to endanger yourself and your friends just like you did back at the museum. Ugh, look I got to go alright.”

Alright, that does it. Put her on the extraction waitlist.

[Note from THE FUTURE: Unfortunately, she keeps being in the fic, so she’s going to be stuck on that waitlist for a while.]

She got up from her chair and gathered her bags and stormed off she walked a few feet before turning back to face him.

“It was really nice seeing you again,” She mumbled. “You put one of my worries to rest today.”

With that she walked off leaving Sam alone. He sat there with a blank expression on his face for a few minutes as he just stared at a lone rose sitting in the middle of the table. He blinked and the flower was now engulfed by a small flame. He watched as the flame slowly melted the flower until it withered until it was nothing but ash. He slowly got up and left the café with only the burden of his past on his shoulders.

I will say this: aside from the over-the-top moment with the flower at the end, that was actually not a bad scene. It presents Sam as a flawed but sympathetic character by giving him a voice of reason off of which to play. In a good fic, I would’ve really enjoyed it.

Shadow had led his team to a mansion on the outskirts of Gotham in a secluded area. The mansion was out fitted with high tech equipment and expensive furniture as Shadow had led his team back to the main room.

By the way, I despise these sudden scene changes. At least put in a line break.

[Note from THE FUTURE: I keep finding moments of accidental foreshadowing as I riff these. The author eventually starts using line breaks. Then he switches to obnoxious, pointless little scene-change marks. Then he starts doing both. The DRD had/are going to have a field day with that chapter.]

“What do you think?” Shadow asked.

“This place is awesome!” Phoenix exclaimed.

“Yeah, great headquarters.” Gauntlet said.

“I like this mansion.” Red Crosshairs said.

“Most adequate.” Thanatos said in his monotone voice.

Was it necessary to have that many members of the Dork Crew comment?

No. No it wasn’t.

“Great find Shadow.” Reaper said.

Wait, did Edgelord find this place for a headquarters? Does that mean they’re squatting in somebody’s mansion? How is there just a random unoccupied mansion sitting outside of Gotham? Why would you want a base that’s away from where you work? It makes sense for Bruce Wayne because he lives there, but that doesn’t make sense for a team.

“I can chill here for now.” Hitgirl said hiding the fact she wanted to be there.

… For some reason.

“I’ll stay too for now.” Ronin said.

Don’t care.

“Yeah we sure came a long way from what we used to be.” Dusk admitted.

Dangit, that’s not an admission!

“Just think of all the good we can do here.” Breeze said with hope.

Not much?

“Great, then this place will be our main headquarters.” Shadow said. “Now, we need to get ready the Justice League are coming tonight.”

Oh, finally. I was wondering if they were ever going to appear in this Justice League fic.

Everyone went silent as they look at their leader for answers.

“What the hell are they coming over here for?” Hitgirl snapped.

Hopefully to beat you all up and take you to jail.

“Well, I can probably shed some light on the situation.” Breeze said. “We being professional assassins are on Batman’s shit list. Also, after picking up all of the Leagues blacklisted members they probably want to make sure we aren’t ready to cause a war.”

And I still don’t know why they were willing to take literally anybody the League didn’t want.

Plus, I love how the author is pretty much straight-up admitting that these are the bad guys in this situation.

“What a bunch of assholes.” Gauntlet grunted.

Not really.

“I know right,” Phoenix snapped. “They didn’t give a crap about us until Jayden brought us together.”

That’s because you were small-time psychos before and you’re big-time psychos now.

“I saw we go to war on them.” Red Crosshairs said.

Go ahead. Try it. By all means.

“People, people, people relax,” Shadow said in a calming tone. “As much as I hate the bastards they are the most respected heroes and we can’t go around killing them.”

Oh, no, we can’t possibly kill the superheroes who do things better and less murderously than we do! Think of what it would do to our reputations!

Listen, idiot. First of all, you’re in no position to take any kind of moral high ground over the Justice League, especially if you’re seriously considering murdering them just because they don’t like you. Second of all, they would wipe the floor with your edgy butt in a second. In fact, when that doesn’t happen later in this chapter, I’ll explain exactly how that sequence of events would actually play out.

“He’s right the public would be all over our asses,” Ronin explained. “The people, the government and especially the mystery man who Two-Face was talking too.”

Why would that guy care about the Justice League getting taken out?

“Crap, I had forgotten about him.” Shadow groaned. “Look, we’ll try to form a truce. It won’t be strong granted but it will keep them off our asses for the time being.”

They have no reason to accept.

Shadow had let them all to a large conference room with a large window overlooking the forest with a cliff in the distance. Shadow had the table face the door with the window facing the door in the distance.

…

Huh?

“Okay, Red in case things go sour very doubtful but just in case,” Shadow said as he gave him a rifle clip filled with bullets with a small green shimmer. “These are Kryptonite bullets I had them made just in case. They aren’t easy to make and the materials are extremely hard to come by.” He said in a stern voice. “So be freaking careful not to miss.”

Super vision. Super hearing. Super speed. So tell me how you plan on shooting Superman again?

“Don’t forget who you’re talking to boss.” Red gloated as he took the clip. “I’ll be on the cliff just give me word when you want Man of Steel dead.”

Yeah, they’re pretty much just supervillains at this point.

“Okay, everyone else get ready they’ll be here soon.” Shadow said.

I love how he’s got one plan to deal with one member of the league, and then otherwise it’s just a vague “get ready.” Wonder Woman, Green Lantern, the Flash, and Martian Manhunter are all major powerhouses, any one of whom could probably take out this entire team on their own, and that’s just from the classic core group.

It took a few hours but a jet landed on the landing pad next to the mansion as the League made their way into the Mansion. After a few short minutes the League was standing in front of the Warriors with Shadow sitting at his desk.

This mansion has a landing pad? How?

“Well hello everyone how are you today?” He asked as he observed the League.

Superman of course, Wonder Woman, Hawk girl, Green Arrow, Red Tornado, Black Canary, Martian Man Hunter, The Flash and of course the star of the show.

Kick their butts, guys.

Muffled Voice: Just say “ass!”

It’s a character tic, BJ! Now that it’s a Thing, my swearing would mess things up!

Muffled Voice: But the Thing is from the other company!

Shush!

“Batman.” Shadow mused.

“Shadow.” Batman responded.

DONKEY!

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” Shadow asked playfully. “Are you all here to thank us for doing your job in taking down Two-Face?” He then waved his hands around lightly. “Don’t worry we just did our community a proud service.”

You smug piece of crap.

“You know that’s not why we’re here.” Black Canary said in a stern tone.

Did you ever wonder why we’re here?

“Careful little birdie, my darling Breeze was trained by a notorious cat burglar. You do know cat’s eat birds don’t you?” He asked coyly.

Wow. Already moving straight to the threats, are we?

“I’m named after a bird doesn’t mean I am one.” She grunted.

Nice retort, Dinah. Real clever. Your track record with banter in these fics is abysmal.

“Okay, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to speak cryptically that’s Reapers job.” He nodded towards his cloaked companion. “Anyways what’s up?”

When has Sovereign spoken cryptically?

Alright, fair enough.

Batman leaned forward and gave Shadow his trademark stare. It would have affected most people but Shadow was never going to be intimidated by him ever again.

SSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTUUUUUUUU!

“We want you to stop what you are doing.” Batman ordered.

So do we, but the number of chapters in this fic indicates otherwise.

The team of Shadow Warriors remained silent for a few minutes before laughing hysterically. They completely ignored the stares of the League as they regained their composure.

*Sigh* Idiots.

“Ugh, sorry we always laugh when someone suggest something stupid.” Shadow chuckled as he sat back in his chair.

*GoodJamags remains silent for a few moments before laughing hysterically*

Then why haven’t you been sounding like the freaking Joker for this entire fic?

“We’re not Joking Shadow,” Batman growled.

No, Batman, I just got done saying that they’re Joking, or at least should be.

“You’re killing people and your harboring fugitives. It won’t be long before you go overboard and we’ll be forced to take you down.”

Yeah, what he said.

…

Wait, you mean they haven’t gone overboard yet?

“You can try.” Phoenix snapped as Gauntlet held him back.

And you’re going to stop them? How? These are some world-saving-tier superheroes, and the most powerful members of your group are about as potent as the average cigarette lighter.

“See what you’re doing you’re upsetting my brother.” Gauntlet snapped.

Good.

“We didn’t mean to cause trouble,” Superman intervened. “It’s just your harboring potential threats to the peaceful citizens of Gotham.”

And that’s true.

The team looked at him with blank stares as Dusk spoke up.

Incoming stupid?

“Have you been to Gotham,” He asked. “There are twenty good people and the rest are either killers, psycho’s or both.”

And you’re among the rest.

And come on. That’s idiotic, sort of like you.

“And ever since you freaks got here all you’ve been doing is insulting our team.” Ronin said.

Because they’re right. And unless we’ve been reading two different fanfictions, they’re legitimately concerned that you’re a bunch of nutjobs, while you’re just making a truly pathetic attempt to snark at you.

“We don’t mean to insult but we have been after you guys for a long time.” Flash said.

And you should just take them in now.

“You’re team is very unstable that’s why we’re here.” Wonder Woman explained.

That’s putting it diplomatically.

Red Tornado then pulled out a holographic data pad from his wrist.

Red Tornado: According to my calculations, you are a bunch of murderous psychopaths who excuse your actions by pretending to be justified.

“Your team consist of Thanatos the killer mech, Ronin the stealth assassin, Gauntlet the demi god of fire, Phoenix the fire conjurer, Reaper the supposed grim reaper of Gotham, Hitgirl the assassin, Dusk the bruiser of your team, Breeze the thief of your team and of course you Shadow with your DNA splicing power you call Adonis which grants you super speed, strength, the power to shoot electricity, fire and ice from your body and small healing properties.” Red Tornado finished as it looked like he was pondering. Even without a face he could tell he was thinking. “You are missing one of your crew members Red Crosshairs.”

Yes, Red, we know all of them.

Batman’s glare then hardened on Shadow as he looked over at John.

“Go ahead alien,” Shadow said. “Tell them were my friend is.”

That’s also racist.

John remained silent for a moment before spilling his guts to everyone.

“Red Crosshairs is on the cliff hidden in the forest.” He explained as everyone but Shadow was surprised. “He is currently aiming a high-powered rifle loaded with Kryptonite bullets right at Superman’s head.”

And Flash is already up there disassembling the gun. Green Lantern is putting up a shield as a contingency, Superman has just pummeled Edgelord into submission, Wonder Woman is ripping apart Iron Punisher’s suit, Red Tornado is starving Jean Grey’s fires, Black Canary is showing Strawwoman what a bird of prey (geddit that’s also the name of a team she’s on lol look at me I’m as clever as Shadow knight1121) can do to a poor little kitten, Green Arrow is debating the merits of ranged weaponry versus outdated farming implements with Sovereign, Hawkgirl is disrupting Sam Motherfuckin’ Jackson’s magic fire powers with her awesome anti-magic mace, and Martian Manhunter is giving Comrade Communist one hell of a headache.

Batman’s just watching and maybe allowing himself one little half-grin at how badly the Dork Patrol is getting owned.

Oh, wait, The Other Jason exists. I guess Batman’s beating him up.

Shadow grinned under his mask as he looked between Batman and Superman. The rest of the League had to restrain themselves from attacking Shadow.

Why restrain yourselves? Just take out Comrade Communist first.

“Careful, with one word your friends will be mopping up Superman’s brains and leaving with their tail between their legs.” Shadow sneered.

What an evil jerk.

“We aren’t here for a fight,” Superman reassured. “We just want you to stop causing harm unto others.”

Watch as Edgelord gets all self-righteous about this.

“Harm?” Shadow asked sarcastically. “We are only doing what you guys failed to do. Like stopping the insane experiments unto innocent children like Phoenix and Red Crosshairs, or prevent the deaths of families like my friends Ronin and Reaper have suffered through. You know the people you blacklisted as criminals on your precious League.”

Yep, there it is. So, things like stopping the insane experiments you’ve done literally nothing to stop, saving the lives of literally no families whatsoever, and harboring wanted criminals. And also overusing the word “precious.”

“It wasn’t like that we just didn’t think they could be trust worthy,” Black Canary reassured. “We always kept an eye on them.”

I mean, see also: they’re murderous psychopaths.

“Yeah, to lock our asses up and make us out to be vicious criminals.” Phoenix said. “You’re always there to catch the criminals when they are robbing banks or causing big explosions that you can see from space. Which you guys are stationed at but when it comes to people like Damien Cole who experiment on innocent kids your nowhere to be found.”

YOU ARE VICIOUS CRIMINALS! THAT’S THE POINT!

“Or how about when they slaughter our families in cold blood.” Ronin said.

Which the League doesn’t deal with… because the author says so, I guess.

“Yes, Batman knows all about failing the little guy don’t ya?” He asked playfully as Batman grimaced. “Like when you let my brother Jason Todd get kidnapped, beaten and blown up or when Barbra took that bullet for you she didn’t die but she’ll never walk again and let’s not forget me. I did what you failed to do and went after the bastard and took a bullet to the head.”

Oh, so is the Joker dead? Is he? Go on, Edgelord. Tell me if he’s dead. Tell me if your “doing what the League couldn’t” has actually gotten you anywhere? Because from where I’m sitting (behind a computer reading a crappy fanfic), it looks like you’re just lashing out because you know they’re right.

“And now you have a team hell bent and unstable about revenge just like you.” Batman growled.

That too.

“Look, enough of the back and forth here,” Jayden said. “We want a truce. Believe it or not I do have respect for you and your team, even those little young justice kids you have. But that doesn’t change the fact that these kids behind me trust me with their lives and they are my team. So here’s the deal, we won’t kill no solid guarantees like let’s say we’re in a life or death situation but we won’t kill. We’ll do our part and keep the community safe but here’s our part.” Shadow said as he cleared his throat. “We. Don’t. Fucking. Work. For. You. Understand?” Shadow said in a stern voice. “We don’t answer to you, we don’t take orders from you and we sure as shit aren’t apart of your team. Understood?”

Or they could lock you all up right now. Heck, Batman alone could take your team out. You really don’t want to try to threaten the League into accepting this deal.

[Note from THE FUTURE: Yeah, you know that “we won’t kill?” Either they’re lying or the author forgets about it almost immediately.]

Batman looked at his team as they all had the same stare as him. They didn’t like what Shadow had promised and they didn’t like the team he had. They were all unstable and could snap at any moment but, they all had an undying loyalty to Shadow and they would die to protect them as he would for them.

Oh, so they’re a cult, too? I missed that part. I’ll make sure to add that to my version of this story’s events.

“Fine,” Batman said as he stuck his arm out. Shadow got up from his chair and shook his hand. “But this doesn’t change anything. If you get out of line once we will be back for you.”

GO AFTER THEM NOW!

“And we’ll be waiting.” Shadow said as he sent some jolts up Batman’s arm. Batman let out a grunt but remained stable as he squeezed Shadow’s hand and crushed it. Shadow staggered back as he held his hand.

… Are you seriously doing the Joker joy-buzzer thing?

“Insulated armor, not bad.” Shadow grunted. Batman and his team took their leave as Shadow caught up with Batman. “Listen, I don’t hate you…much. Anyways, I do have some respect for you but know this. This is my team and you have no say over it.”

Unfortunately.

“Shadow, these kids are unstable I’m not being cruel.” He said. “But, do you have what it takes to handle them when they do snap?”

No!

“Of course, they are like me and I can help them when and if the time comes.” Shadow said. “I’ll let you go now.”

By which Edgelord means he’s going to indoctrinate them into complete loyalty, so if they snap, it’s because he snapped with them.

“Thanks,” He grunted before stopping again. “Have you seen Barbra?”

Where is this coming from?

Shadow’s blood froze in his veins as his shoulders slumped down.

Edgelord: Oh shit, my Stuishness is not going to fly with her.

“No, I haven’t seen her in a year.” He mumbled.

Edgelord: Not since I became a raging Stu. Wait, nevermind, that’s always been the case.

“You should give her a call. She’s been asking for you.” He said as he finally left.

Why?

Shadow stood there for a little while as he watched the League leave. He radioed over to Red to tell him he could come inside as he went back to his team.

Later that night at the penthouse Jayden sat in his living room zoning at the T.V. He had a phone in his hand as he took a deep breath and dialed the numbers. He held the phone up to his ear as the ring tone repeated a few times before someone answered.

Well, that entire scene was infuriating.

“Hello?” A soft voice asked.

Jayden took a gulp before answering.

“Hey Aunt Barbra.”

This is going to be either awesome or a nightmare. Either way, this fic should’ve ended here. Since it didn’t, I’ll be joining you next time for Chapter 9.

*SLAM!*

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