1850: The Shadow Warriors – Chapter Five, Part TwoPosted: September 7, 2017
Title: The Shadow Warriors
Author: Shadow knight1121
Topic: Justice League
URL: Chapter 5
Critiqued by BatJamags (GoodJamags and Kane)
Shadow Kill count: 5
Hello once again, patrons! I’m your guest host, GoodJamags, and we’re back for more of The Shadow Warriors!
Kane: For some reason beyond even my comprehension, this one has asked me to return as well.
Last time, not much happened. Like, at all. This time, I don’t expect much better.
The Shadow Warriors made their way to where Croc was last sighted at an old sewage treatment plant. They had parked and hid their vehicles and slowly crept around the building being careful not to alert either the Croc or the Bat. Shadow had a beat on someone as he looked out into the darkness.
Kane: He had a “beat” on someone? May I inquire what that means?
Maybe he had a beet on them.
“You can come out,” He said. “I’ve had you marked since we got here.”
And that’s a nice job not alerting Batman or Killer Croc.
The team had turned to where Shadow was looking as a lithe figure walked out holding two silver .45’s. She had the top half of her face hidden by a black mask but her raven black hair flowed through the wind. Her wardrobe consisted of black body armor that fit snugly to her body. Shadow smirked as he recognized who she was.
Kane: Oh dear. It’s another one.
“Hitgirl.” Shadow smirked.
That name is not quite as edgy as these other ones. I bet it’s a rip-off of something. Let’s see what I can find…
So, she’s either a rip-off of a Kick-Ass character, or a genderflipped Agent 47. I’m not really familiar with either canon, but considering that Kick-Ass’ Hit-Girl is twelve years old? I’m going with Agent 63.
“How do you know who I am?” She said as she pressed the barrel of her guns towards his face.
Kane: How did she move so close to him so quickly?
“You aren’t the only one who has a list of bad guys.” He said. “Also I’m the one who hired you.”
Everyone looked at Shadow in shock as Breeze stomped up to him.
POINTLESS DRAMATIC REVEAL!
“You hired an assassin are you crazy?” She snapped as he gave her a coy look. “What is the matter with you we don’t need her!”
Kane: A surprisingly valid point.
Yeah, we’ve got:
Generic Female Unit #1
The Other Jason
Sam Motherfuckin’ Jackson
That’s not terribly bloated, but it will be before very long.
“She has knowledge of our newest recruit and I want him on my team.” He then looked at her and grinned under his mask. “I take it you would want to join if he was.”
Oh, of course. Just put more people on the team, why don’t you?
“Who are you talking about?” Phoenix asked.
Kane: Naturally he must reveal it as dramatically as possible.
“He’s talking about The Reaper of course.” A new voice said.
I don’t fear him.
Everyone looked over to see Ronin walk up towards Shadow and Hitgirl.
Kane: Dramatic entrance? Always effective.
“Mind if I tag along for a while?” He asked.
GoodJamags and Kane: Yes.
“Go ahead we could always use more help.” He said.
Kane: You really couldn’t.
“Wait, hold on what makes this Reaper guy so important?” Gauntlet asked.
Your words are as empty as your future. He is the vanguard of your destruction. This exchange is over.
“Reaper was my first pupil,” He said causing everyone to look at him. “I found him when Croc had turned and took him under my wing. Turns out his father worked close to Fox and his son had a keen intellect.
Kane: I’m sure that made sense in your head.
So I trained him helped him formed his other self and he took off one morning without a single word.”
Yeah, angsty teens tend to do that.
Breeze and Dusk were shocked to have heard this. Not once since they had lived with Shadow have they ever heard of Reaper.
Kane: Ah yes, “Reaper.” The former pupil of Edgelord. We have dismissed that claim.
*Attempts to high five Kane*
*Is left hanging*
“Why didn’t you tell us?” Dusk grunted.
“You didn’t ask.” He shot back.
Again with the not-quite-right dialogue attribution.
“So you were so quick to train him but when it came to me and Dusk it was out of the question.” Breeze snapped.
Kane: That is obviously not the case. You have been trained, so it was not out of the question.
“When Reaper left me I was heartbroken,” Shadow snapped. “He was like the only family I had and after I had trained him I was apparently no use to him anymore and he left me. So, when it came to you guys I didn’t want you to leave after I had trained you.”
They both remained silent after what he had just said not knowing how to feel anymore.
Yeah, OK, he knocked down the strawman. In fact, I may change GFU1’s name to Strawwoman. She’s started playing that part a lot.
“How do you know he is here?” Red Crosshairs said breaking the silence.
Kane: Plot, most likely.
“Killer Croc or Waylon Jones adopted him when he was a boy,” Shadow explained. “Before his mind went out of whack he and Reaper were inseparable. He’s been trying to change Croc ever since. If Croc is here so is Reaper.”
I don’t remember anything about Croc’s mind being out of whack.
“So where is he?” Gauntlet asked.
Kane: I’m sure your question will be conveniently answered in the next paragraph.
His question was answered when Croc burst out of the side of the building with a dark cloaked figure fighting him off. His face was hidden by a white mask as he held his scythe with his bandaged hands.
Reaper: Die! Die! Die!
He swung his scythe across Crocs chest landing a gash across his chest.
Well, as long as I didn’t leave the electrified floors on, the Agents should be fine.
Oh, and whoopsie! While I was busy loving the smell of electrified DRD agents in the morning, I must’ve accidentally snipped a really boring fight with Killer Croc. All I’ll say about it is that Reaper uses a scythe to fight and that’s stupid.
He [Edgelord] stood over the cloaked vigilante as he looked down on him. Reaper looked up at Shadow and immediately stood up and started chuckling under his mask.
“Jayden Warney.” He mused as he took off his mask revealing his brown hair and hazel eyes.
Sovereign: I am Death!
“Flynn Anderson.” Shadow said.
Kane: A rather… anticlimactic name.
You mean dorky?
Kane: We’ll go with that.
The two stared at each other for a moment before embracing one another. Everyone just stood there watching the two’s reunion. Shadow broke away and before anyone knew it Reaper was on the ground rubbing his sore eye.
Not for any particular reason, mind you. He just already had a sore eye and then dropped to the ground to rub it.
“What the hell was that for?” Reaper yelled.
For a moment.
“Why the hell did you leave me all those years ago? We were supposed to make things better and you fucking runaway.”
Kane: I’m sure there was a more civilized way to say that.
“I had learned all that you taught me.” He said. “I knew that you would kill Croc and I needed to break away and see if I could help him.”
“Croc is lost why can’t you accept that?” He asked.
By the way, he’s right there, and I’ve got the Shadow Kill counter ready.
“Because he’s the only person that gave a crap whether I lived or died. He’s the only thing close to a father I have.”
Kane: Hadn’t we established that Edgelord also cared?
“Why didn’t you come to me if you needed help?” Shadow asked.
He’s an edgy rebel against another edgy rebel.
“Shadow!” Dusk yelled. “Crocs getting away!”
“Shit, we’ll talk later!” He yelled as he ran over to where Croc escaped. “Alright, let’s get going!”
“I can’t,” Phoenix said. “That water is full of mercury it screws with my powers and makes me blow up.”
Why the heck would this random sewer water be filled with mercury? If this is what people are peeing and pooping, something’s very wrong with Gothamites’ health.
“So, mercury is your weakness?” Gauntlet asked.
Kane: I find that weaknesses are overrated. Personally, I prefer not to have any.
Kane: Hardly a weakness when it’s justified.
“Yeah, I can’t figure it out but it just makes me go haywire.” He explained.
So, it’s his weakness just because?
“Okay, Breeze you and Dusk take Gauntlet and Phoenix away from here. Thanatos, Red you two with me.” Shadow said.
Kane: That is an utterly nonsensical division of forces. Jean Grey is the only one who needs to depart. Furthermore, he and Sam Motherfuckin’ Jackson do not need to be escorted by Strawwoman and The Other Jason. This wastes three party members’ abilities, and splits the party.
“I’ll go with you I shot a tracker into his back.” Ronin asked.
That’s not asking anything. This is the second time the author’s done this with the same character. Coincidence or conspiracy?
“And I can’t have you rough up Croc to badly so I’ll go with you!” Reaper said as he put on his mask.
Kane: It seems counterproductive to bring this one along.
“You’re not leaving me out of the loop so I’m coming too.” Hitgirl said.
And that’s just a pathetic excuse.
“No, you take my car and cover the team.” Red Crosshairs said as he threw his keys at her. Hitgirl scoffed as she stomped towards him.
Kane: Who in the Nine Hells does he think he is?
“Who the hell do you think you are!” She snapped.
Kane: I have no explanation.
“Hitgirl, go with Breeze and the rest of the team and keep them covered.” He as the girl slightly looked away from him blushing.
Kane: You seem to have word there. And an attribution.
“Don’t be attributionist!”
“Yeah, not attributing dialogue is great!”
Kane: I can banish you to the darkest depths of the multiverse, where untold horrors will slowly eat away at your body, your sanity, and your essence until nothing but a pale husk remains to drift infinitely into the void.
“But the Void’s where we come from!”
“Yeah, you can’t threaten us with that!”
Pretty sure BJ installed a button to make these guys leave… there we go. *Tap*
The room is rectangular. In the corner is a compu-
“THE SPECIFICITY OF IT ALL!”
“RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!”
*Meanwhile, ominous noises emanate from the basement*
“Okay, reapy.” She swooned as everyone looked at Reaper.
“Reapy?” I’m embarrassed just to have heard that.
*Meanwhile, a very loud explosion and a lot of swearing emanate from the basement*
Kane: Did you hear that?
“Reapy?” Ronin asked with a teasing tone of voice as Reaper let out a grumble.
Kane: I’m not sure what’s more disconcerting: the thought that this is the author’s concept of drama, or the thought that this is the author’s concept of comedy.
“I’ll explain later lets go.” He yelled as the rest of the team jumped down after Croc.
There’s not much to explain.
“She has a crush on him.” Shadow stated flatly as they went after Croc.
Look! Down in that sewer!
Kane: I refuse to participate in this.
It’s a man in a sewer! It’s a person who doesn’t smell very good! It’s…
The sewer system was like a maze. It was a good thing Ronin placed that charger on him otherwise they would never find him in time. It took them some time but they eventually found Croc doing something.
Kane: Aha! A thing!
Shadow had crept over to see that he was setting up a bomb.
I need more people to make references with me. Uh…
Totally Different Individual: Somebody set up us the bomb!
TDI: We get signal.
TDI: Main screen turn on.
Snip a bit of boring fighting and the bomb being defused with no tension whatsoever.
*Ominous noises draw closer to the Riffing chamber. Seriously, we’re talking Jeff the Killer levels of ominous here. Super ominous*
“C’mon Waylon I know you’re still in their!” He yelled.
Kane: That misuse of “their” is physically painful.
“No, all I am now is an animal,” He roared. “You want to stop me you’ll just have to put me down!” he roared as he started overpowering him.
If Croc is intelligent enough to understand that, then why does he think he’s an animal? Why can’t he restrain himself?
“So be it!” Reaper yelled as he twisted the handle on his scythe.
Kane: So this fool has been trying to bring the reptile back to the light for years and now one conversation changes his mind?
Just then electricity started surging through both of their bodies. Reaper felt nothing as Croc let out a pain filled roar. When he was sure it was enough he turned his scythe off as the crocodile man fell to the ground unconscious.
Crunchy! What have I told you about using Force Lightning in the water! It’s kind of not very healthy for us monkeys.
Shadow and the team rushed over to him as he held his scythe upright. He said nothing as Shadow noticed his scythe.
“This was made from Wayne enterprises wasn’t it?” He asked.
Kane: Why is that important? Edgelord’s sunglasses are also of Waynetech make.
“Yeah.” Was all he said.
“You okay?” Ronin asked.
So… Did Sovereign just kill Croc? And did I just describe what could hypothetically be a plot point in a much cooler story than this one?
“Yeah, listen I’m sorry about ditching you all those years ago.” Reaper said.
Kane: This sudden contrition is unmotivated.
“Don’t worry your always welcomed on my team.” Shadow said.
I’m going to say the same thing about this sudden forgiveness.
“Shadow.” Thanatos said.
“What is it?” He asked.
It’s that thing that happens when light hits you and there’s a spot behind you that it doesn’t hit, but that’s not important right now.
“I found this on the bomb Croc was planting,” He said as a holographic screen appeared on his wrist. “It’s a layout for more bombs planted underneath the streets of Gotham. I pulled a map up and it revealed that the bombs are underneath some serious buildings. Ones underneath a hospital, two are underneath schools and more to come.”
Kane: Why would this information be on one of the bombs?
“How many more?” Shadow asked.
“Nineteen more.” He said. “Don’t worry I can disable them.”
Who placed all of these? It sounded like Croc was just going into the sewers, and he was a little unstable.
“Okay, and I’ll notify someone to collect the bombs.” Shadow said as he started tapping away in his wrist mounted computer.
Kane: “In” his computer? I’ve seen enough of these devices to know they don’t function like that.
Meanwhile in his cave Batman was working on his computer when he got a message from an anonymous source. He had already known that it was Shadow only he would use this level of encryption. When he opened his message his eyes widened to reveal bombs scattered all throughout Gotham’s sewer system.
1: Nice job, Shadow. You think you can do a better job than Batman, but you make him do your dirty work.
2: His eyes widened to reveal the bombs? So, he’s got bombs in his eyes?
“How did I miss this? He whispered to himself. At the bottom of the message he saw a note from Shadow that said, ‘World’s greatest detective?’ Batman grumbled at that insult. “Shadow.”
Kane: It appears to be a contrived situation engineered to bash a canon character.
He quickly got up and rushed to his Bat mobile and notified Jim about the bombs.
That was fast. It’s almost like the author was rushing to this line break.
Whew this was a challenge okay two more characters but this time owned by one author.
Kane: What was so challenging about this chapter in particular?
Alias: Hitgirl(Because she has a hit list of all the criminals in Gotham with the exception of Catwoman and Mr. Freeze, and she likes the Hitman video games)
That is the stupidest thing I’ve heard outside of politics.
Name: Hillary Schenk
Costume: A black mask that covers the top half of her head(think Zorro’s mask from “The Mask/Legend of Zorro”)a full suit of black body armor(Think Punisher from “Punisher: War Zone” minus the spray painted skull) and armed to the teeth in guns.
Kane: Very clever.
Civilian attire: black baggy AC/DC tee shirt, a black Metallica hat, blue Jeans, and regular white shoes(wanted it to be simple)
Does anyone care?
Personality: Hillary’s a tomboy and doesn’t like anything too girly, she’s also a gamer and will be one of the first ones in line for a new video game especially if it’s Hitman, Hillary’s a bit of a smart ** and never hesitates to make bad guys look like dumbasses before she kills them,
You censored yourself for one word, and then said literally the exact same word (or a variation of it) in the same sentence.
Hillary also has a crush on Reaper but it’s unknown if he feels the same since he prefers to keep his emotions to himself, Hillary is obsessed with her guns to the point that she calls them her “Babies”, Hillary also likes Rock music and hates chick flicks.
Kane: A vague semblance of personality. Far superior to the characters we’ve seen so far.
Name: Flynn Anderson/ Alias: The Reaper(Because he wears a skull mask and carries around scythe)
Yeah, we got that part.
Personality: Flynn only speaks when spoken to and even then he speaks cryptically. Flynn prefers to not be involved in anything social. Flynn also has a high knowledge on anything that has to do with tech due to his father, Jack Anderson working closely with Lucias Fox at Wayne Enterprises, and passing most of his knoledge on to Flynn. Flynn, despite his intimidating appearance, is one of the most kindest people you would ever meet, Flynn prefers to keep his costume on 24/7 and the only times he ever takes it completely off is to shower. Flynn also has a soft spot for animals. Flynn is grateful to Shadow for training him.
And that’s a terribly boring bio for this guy. Also, “most kindest.” And “Lucias,” and “Knoledge,” for that matter.
Appearance: (Costume) A long black hooded cloak with the hood up that covers his entire body, except his face, hands, and feet. He wears black Jeans underneath his cloak, black boots, has white bandages wrapped around his hands, wears a white rubber mask that resembles a human skull, and lastly, he Carries a high tech scythe that’s as tall as him(Which is 5’10)
Kane: Black hooded cloaks and masks are rather overplayed, don’t you think?
Kane: It’s not a cloak. My robes include a proper pair of pants, thank you very much. Now go play with the line break.
Okay, also Tonycakes I am still waiting for your character Shadow Knight or Dark Knight let me know.
So… you’re writing for a fandom where the main character (let’s not pretend this is actually a Justice League fic – I’ve been duped) is called the Dark Knight. And one of your names for your character is Dark Knight.
Also i loved the new Dark Knight movie.
It gave me some very good ideas for my story.
I hope not.
I can’t wait anyways I hope you like this chapter.
Kane: We didn’t. Now, I’ll be-
*The Door explodes and BadJamags practically flies in, spewing profanities all the way*
BadJamags: YOU FUCKING BLUSHING PIECES OF SHIT! I’LL KILL YOU! I’LL KILL EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU! FUCK YOU! NO FUCKING GODDAMN BLUSHING YOU FUCKING FUCKS! I DON’T CARE HOW FAR BACK IN THE CHAPTER IT WAS, I’LL KILL YOU!
*Slowly raises tranquilizer rifle*
*BadJamags grabs the rifle and snaps it in half*
BadJamags: AND YOU! GIVE ME BACK MY FUCKING RIFFS! TAKE YOUR FUCKING NAMETAG! AND GO FUCK YOURSELF!
*Starts smacking GoodJamags over the head with what’s left of the tranquilizer rifle*
GoodJamags: I *SMACK!* guess *SMACK!* we’ll *SMACK!* be *SMACK!* back *SMACK!* next *SMACK!* time, *SMACK!* folks! *SMACK!*