1790: Slender: Find the Eight Pages They Said – Chapter 1

 

 

Title: Slender: Find the Eight Pages They Said
Author: seclinalunica
Media: Video Game/Creepypasta
Topic: Slender: The Eight Pages
Genre: Horror/Suspense
URL: Chapter 1
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

 

Hello, dear Patrons!

Are you ready for more Slender Man fanfiction? (Don’t worry; it’s not Slendtai or a Reader fic this time.) This particular fic, unlike just about every other Slender Man fic I’ve worked on, actually looks as if it has elements from the game in it. Woot!

Let’s take a look at the summary, shall we?

Eight different pages have one thing in common. Slender. A teenage woman is heading home from a party only to have her car run out of gas. She finds a farm and enters hoping to find a source of fuel. Suddenly the doors lock, and in order to come out she has to find the 8 pages. And in order to find the eight pages, she must avoid the mythological creature known as Slenderman.

I’m curious to see how this is going to work out; finding the pages in order to leave the area works as a gameplay mechanic, but I don’t know how it would be translated over into a narrative. Those type of “You must collect X number of [item] to progress” quests are just one of those things that make sense when you’re playing a game, but if someone in a real-world scenario told you that you had to find pieces of paper in a forest and would be physically incapable of leaving the area until they were all found you would call so much bullshit on them. Also; farms don’t typically have doors unless they are on or in a structure of some kind so this might take place inside a house or barn of some sort.

AN:

:headdesk:

New story based on a famous meme, mythological creature, and game on the internet SLENDER!

Slendpai is a creature of many talents.

I have played this game once, and will never do it again,

Well, that’s encouraging.

but word about it has been running through the hallways of my school, so I thought, why not make a little 9 chapter story (including prologue) of the 8 pages of slender.

:THWACK!:

:THWACK!:

Wait, what? The only reason the author is writing this fic is because Slender Man is popular at their school? That doesn’t sound like a very compelling reason to me; you should write something because you want to, not because you think it’s going to be popular.

PLEASE READ, REVIEW and ENJOY!

Two out of three thus far.

Prologue: Page 0

Is that the chapter title?

I was driving late in the afternoon; approximately, five o’clock.

Is this going to be on the test later? And see? You do know how to express numbers correctly!

The weather was spectacular, and I couldn’t have wished for better day.

I could wish for some better grammar. It’s not as bad as some, but that’s not saying much considering what the Library has festering in its archives.

I was driving in my orange Volvo estate that looked as if it was from the 70’s.

:THWACK!:

The only vehicle by that name that I was able to find was this concept car; as best as I can tell it has never been available to purchase. I don’t really understand what the author means about it looking as if it was from the Seventies; to me it has that same sleek, futuristic look that many concept cars have.

I glanced at the gas meter.

Gauge, it’s called the gas gauge.

The gas was running low. I was heading to a city that was 30

:THWACK!:

No numerals in the narration! You know better!

miles from my current destination. However, there were no towns nearby; for I needed gas and a bathroom break.

Then you are very bad at planning trips, aren’t you?

Why on earth is the nameless narrator heading for a location that is a half-hour’s drive away from their destination? Are they going to drive to their destination and then leave for this other spot thirty miles away? Wouldn’t that make the second spot their destination instead?

I looked left, right and into the horizon, but I couldn’t find an information sign on the highway. Not for a town, a restaurant or a hotel.

You must not be in the US, then. It’s rare to find a long stretch of highway that doesn’t have some kind of sign or billboard every few hundred feet. Back roads are a different story, but highways typically connect areas and a lot of stuff – hotels, gas stations, restaurants, housing developments, etc. – spring up along their length because of the increased volume of traffic. (This is called “infill development”, in case you were wondering.) That’s not to say there aren’t some crazy-remote areas, But in order to get to those crazy-remote areas you typically have to travel a long distance. They wouldn’t be remote if they were easy to get to. According to the summary, the nameless narrator is on their way back from a party and it is around five in the evening. Most people only go to parties that are a reasonable distance from the homes, typically no more than a few hours travel-time. (I’m not including special events, like funerals, weddings, graduations, etc. in this generalization.) There’s no indication that Nameless Narrator stayed anywhere overnight, so they would have to have been able to get to the location, attend the party, and then get to wherever it is they are now in just a few hours. That doesn’t really seem all that remote to me.

I looked at the gas meter again.

Still a gauge.

It was slightly above the empty line. I feared that I wouldn’t have enough gas to make it to my destination. Let me rephrase that, I didn’t have enough gas to get to my destination.

Then you are really bad at this. Nameless Narrator is on their way back from wherever it was they were going, which means they’ve been this way before and knew how desolate it was yet did not plan accordingly.

What was I going to do? When I run out, should I leave my car, and walk?

It is usually safer to stay with your car unless you know exactly where you can find help; you don’t want to start wandering off and make the situation worse. If there’s any kind of traffic in the area, you might be able to flag someone down and see if they can call for assistance.

Should I call for help? Unfortunately, I left my cellphone at home. I slammed my fists onto the side of the steering wheel.

Man, you are just terrible at this. I’ll give the author points for knowing that it is possible to leave the house without your phone glued to you – I’m looking at you, Millenials – but if someone is going travel to a remote location or going to be a considerable distance away from familiar surroundings then they would probably make a special effort to have their phone with them.

Finally, the Volvo slowed down considerably. I was out of gas.

Ummm… Slowing down is not the same as stopping. If the car is still moving, just much slower, then it probably still has some gas in it. You shouldn’t let the car run out completely, though. That can seriously damage your fuel pump.

I pulled over into the emergency lane, and took the key out of the ignition. I placed my head on top of the steering wheel. “What am I going to do?” I thought to myself. “How am I going to get out of this?”

Turn on your hazard lights so anyone passing by knows you’re in trouble and not just taking a nap. Then, try to remember how far back the last sign of civilization was. Depending on distance and weather, your best bet might be going in a direction that you know has help rather than continuing on down the road that apparently has no sign of life on it. Follow telephone lines or power lines; much like a river, they come from somewhere and go somewhere.

A chill ran down my spine. I glanced over my right shoulder and saw a vast amount of trees.

Right in the middle of the road? Are you sure you ran out of gas and didn’t just hit a tree?

It looked like a forest amongst this flat plain.

A big bunch of trees that are grouped together? That does sound suspiciously like a forest. Is this any different from the rest of the scenery? There’s been no description of anything in the setting thus far.

I saw a short, brown building in the middle of the dense forest.

Nameless Narrator must have X-ray vision if they can see something in the center of a dense forest.

There were trees surrounding the area for at least a few miles.

I assume Nameless Narrator knows this because they drove past the trees and not because they can see through several miles of thick forest.

A metal fence ran down the perimeter of the trees.

Again, I have to assume that this is because the Nameless Narrator saw the fence while driving and can’t actually see miles and miles of fence from where they are standing.

There was also a steel gate. It was the entrance, and it was open.

Right in front of where your car broke down. Wow, that’s convenient.

There were a couple of cars outside of the farm.

Are they parked on the highway? That doesn’t seem very safe.

Someone has to be living there.

Not necessarily; I’ve seen houses with vehicles parked near them that were abandoned. A better indicator of occupation is the appearance of the place, if it is well-kept or not, but that can be misleading as well. I’ve also seen houses that looked like they were a combination trash dump and salvage yard and there were still people living in them. And unless you’re in Amish country, you should look for telephone lines and power lines leading to the property.

“I’ll knock and see if they have any gasoline.” I whispered, before stepping out of the car.

Probably not gasoline, but they might have diesel fuel for any equipment they have. I don’t think they could give you any, though; red diesel (so-called because it is dyed red for ease of identification) is exempt from certain taxes if used for agricultural purposes so if someone found it in a normal car it could mean trouble for everyone involved.

As I left, I placed a sweater over my shoulder, and grabbed a flashlight from the back seat.

Why does Nameless Narrator have a flashlight in the backseat? I keep mine in the glove box like a normal person. And why do they need it now? I thought it was around five in the afternoon? Is it winter time? Is that why it’s dark this early?

I slammed the door, and manually locked the car.

By reaching through the open window to press down the little lever? Couldn’t you have done that before closing the door?

It was 6:30 pm when I left the car.

:THWACK!:

Wait a second … They were driving for an hour and a half and didn’t see anything? Nothing at all? At highway speeds that’s over a hundred miles of nothing. What highway can you drive that long and that far and not see anything? And where the hell was this party if they’ve driven that far and haven’t gotten near where they live yet?

There’s a little line-break, which I assume is some kind of time-skip, and then the fic continues.

Once I approached the open gate, I scanned the area surrounding me.

And see nothing but trees, the fence, and the highway you just crossed.

The sun was setting with a bright set of yellow, orange and red.

Which you probably can’t see very well, because forest.

I looked at my orange Volvo on the side of the road, and then turned my gaze back into the open gate.

Cue sudden wind to whip Nameless Narrator’s hair in an appropriately dramatic fashion.

There was some sort of darkness in there.

Possibly because the sun is setting, therefore it’s getting dark?

It felt as if there were ghosts.

It’s a dark, creepy forest; were you expecting unicorns and rainbows? You can’t really put a dark, creepy forest in a fic, describe it in terms that make it clear it is a dark, spooky forest,  and then have the character completely surprised about it being a dark, spooky forest.

I could hear voices in my head; at least twelve of them.

That’s a bit unsettling. If Nameless Narrator is hearing voices, what else is wrong in the ol’ brainpan? Everything that happens could be a manifestation of mental illness.

I ignored them, and continued inside the forest, hoping to find some sort of fuel for my car.

Too bad it runs on the souls of the innocent; those things are a bitch and a half to find.

Chapter one: Page 1 coming soon…

Probably next Friday, since that’s when my next riff posts.

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71 Comments on “1790: Slender: Find the Eight Pages They Said – Chapter 1”

  1. SC says:

    This particular fic, unlike just about every other Slender Man fic I’ve worked on, actually looks as if it has elements from the game in it

    *Dread intensifies*

  2. SC says:

    finding the pages in order to leave the area works as a gameplay mechanic, but I don’t know how it would be translated over into a narrative. Those type of “You must collect X number of [item] to progress” quests are just one of those things that make sense when you’re playing a game, but if someone in a real-world scenario told you that you had to find pieces of paper in a forest and would be physically incapable of leaving the area until they were all found you would call so much bullshit on them

    It’s like the entirety of the plot of Fatal Frame: Girl (-s, sometimes boys) gets trapped in haunted place, finds out it fell to ruin thanks to fucked up ritual, usually via circumstances that nobody prepared a contingency for (Kirie’s sudden boyfriend, Yae running away from home, one of the tattooed priestesses waking up during a ritual that she’s NOT FUCKING SUPPOSED TO BE AWAKE FOR, etc.), and can’t escape until they somehow single-handedly replicate the ritual the way it was SUPPOSED to happen, rather than the patchwork attempt that everybody who once lived in the haunted area made that cost them everything. And to top it off, they have to not die in the process, which is much easier said than done when every damn ghost is out for your head.

    A plot like that happening in real life would end up with one dead body too many, the place being cut off by whatever local authority belongs to the area, and ultimately, if such an act was deemed necessary, which it probably would be, an exorcist would be sent in to strong-arm the joint into being cleansed of malignant spirits rather than going through all that kit and kaboodle. Or something to that effect, at least.

    Though, those kinds of stories at least have the excuse of said malignant spirits having a means of trapping their victim in the area. I suppose that could be implied with Slenderman, too, but it’s really never touched on in the games.

    • GhostCat says:

      There appears to be a fence around the property, but it’s just a fence and not a ten-meter high and thick brick wall. Depending on what it’s made of (in this case, Void) Nameless narrator could go over, under, or through it to get back out.

      • SC says:

        Yeah, in Fatal Frame 1, the front doors to the mansion slammed shut behind Miku and trapped her inside.

        …Problem is, it’s an old Japanese mansion. Those are notorious for having large, open properties, and in this case, nary a wall in sight. (Or, well, what walls there were didn’t really block anything off beyond simply being inconvenient to the player.) Miku could have just taken to the forest right outside and been home free. The only real reason she was compelled to stay was because her idiot brother Mafuyu was about as genre savvy as a rock and went into the mansion himself to try and find his three missing coworkers, despite the fact that he worked for a guy who’s JOB was investigating and writing stories about haunted shit. (Well, and Miku did kind of get cursed about an hour after she showed up, so I guess that kind of exacerbates the whole, “can’t leave until you undo the fuckup” thing.)

        Fatal Frame 2’s “I’m trapped, oh noes” was a bit more believable: Since the failed ritual fucked over the whole VILLAGE, it made sense that Mio and Mayu crossing the barrier that separated the village from the rest of the world would trap them in that hell dimension.

      • SC says:

        And yeah, I remember the fence on the Slender games. You could totally climb that shit, there’s no reason for the player to stick around.

        • GhostCat says:

          To the author’s credit, Nameless Narrator does make a token attempt to climb the fence in the next chapter, but is thwarted because the fence is suddenly electrified. Nameless Narrator doesn’t do anything to try to turn off the power or otherwise circumvent this, though, and just sort of accepts that they are now trapped.

      • SC says:

        Oh, how dumb she’ll feel when she finds a breaker box.

        • GhostCat says:

          And if it’s not a chain-link fence but just one of those wire fences used for livestock control, Nameless Narrator could use a reasonably stout branch to bend or break the wires and get through that way.

    • AdmiralSakai says:

      Though, those kinds of stories at least have the excuse of said malignant spirits having a means of trapping their victim in the area. I suppose that could be implied with Slenderman, too, but it’s really never touched on in the games.

      Yeah, that’s the thing. Even in a game, the “Find X things to open the door” mechanic is usually considered shitty design because there’s no real logical reason why the area suddenly becomes inescapable until these objects are found, or even why the objects are important and anyone cares. In SC’s example up above I suppose there’s a plausible explanation in that the spirits have some sort of control over the area and either actively want the ritual completed or just really really really don’t want witnesses for some reason; other games can make this work if the collectables are something like power nodes that are physically related to whatever mechanism is keeping you in the room to begin with, or if the player answers to some higher authority that specifically wants them all collected, but other than that you just end up with the old bargain-bin survival horror cliche of “I must be forgetting something”.

      • GhostCat says:

        Thing is, I thought of a perfectly logical reason why someone would need to collect all the pages to leave and it requires only two additions;

        1. Put a lock on the gate that requires a numerical key code.
        2. Put the individual digits of the code on the papers.

        There’s not really any logical reason why someone would do this, but it does explain why the Nameless Narrator has to collect the papers beyond “because it happens in the game”.

      • AdmiralSakai says:

        Well that does cause the problem of not knowing how the key-code is ordered, but that could easily be solved by including ordinals.

        • GhostCat says:

          There’s several different ways to do it depending on how much of Nameless Narrator’s time you want to waste; plain numbers, which would take a long time but there’s only so many ways eight digits can be arranged, or including hints as to their sequence like A[first number], B[second number], or even have the same eight-letter word or phrase on each with different letters replaced with the corresponding code number.

          I kind of favor the last one, since I think it would take Nameless Narrator a few pages before they figured out what they were looking at.

    • AdmiralSakai says:

      A plot like that happening in real life would end up with one dead body too many, the place being cut off by whatever local authority belongs to the area, and ultimately, if such an act was deemed necessary, which it probably would be, an exorcist would be sent in to strong-arm the joint into being cleansed of malignant spirits rather than going through all that kit and kaboodle. Or something to that effect, at least.

      I actually had huge problems with this in Call of Cthulhu, where players who became aware of the existence of UNITY would start a scenario, grab up anything useful they could find, then when they located a final boss or even just a regular monster they’d run away, tip off the men in black, and force them to deal with it. For a while I dealt with that by saying “UNITY is not stupid, if you specifically unearth dangerous things and then release them on the world expecting the government to deal with it, the government is subsequently going to devote incredible resources to coming after you“, but this resulted in players who would cause a horrible disaster, then immediately get smacked down by the Man and not really figure out why. It took a while to fine-tune ways to have warnings that fit with the players’ in-universe knowledge, and a pattern of escalation that actually made sense and gave the players both a chance to hide and the impetus to take it.

      • SC says:

        Ah, the trials of world-building and plot progression. “Why should we do X when we could just do Y?” is the worst question to have to ask yourself, because then you have to retool EVERYTHING.

  3. SC says:

    Wait, what? The only reason the author is writing this fic is because Slender Man is popular at their school? That doesn’t sound like a very compelling reason to me; you should write something because you want to, not because you think it’s going to be popular.

    Ugh. Easily one of my least favorite types of fic authors. “Everybody else is doing it, so I want on the bandwagon!” Because that’s the only good reason to write a story, right? Maybe I oughta start writing Game of Thrones fics because it’s a popular fantasy tale right now and fantasy’s my thing? So what if I don’t follow Game of Thrones, I’m sure it’ll be fine.

  4. SC says:

    Prologue: Page 0

    Is that the chapter title?

    *Eye twitches*

    *Slaps self*

    It’s fine, they didn’t write “Prologue: Chapter One,” you can let this one go, it’s fine…

  5. SC says:

    The only vehicle by that name that I was able to find was this concept car; as best as I can tell it has never been available to purchase. I don’t really understand what the author means about it looking as if it was from the Seventies; to me it has that same sleek, futuristic look that many concept cars have.

    If she’s trying to say that it’s the 740 Estate, which is a real car, then she’s got her dates fucked, because that car and all the rest of the 700 series were mid-80’s, early 90’s.

  6. SC says:

    Turn on your hazard lights so anyone passing by knows you’re in trouble and not just taking a nap. Then, try to remember how far back the last sign of civilization was. Depending on distance and weather, your best bet might be going in a direction that you know has help rather than continuing on down the road that apparently has no sign of life on it. Follow telephone lines or power lines; much like a river, they come from somewhere and go somewhere.

    I feel like a lot of horror stories could have been avoided this way.

    Although this reminds me of a pretty funny thing (in hindsight; it was stressful at the time) that happened to me while I was still down in Modesto: It was night time, I had been sent out to the nearby Raley’s for a quick munchy run before they closed, and I was sitting at the stop light which was situated not even a block from my house, when my fucking car died. And oh no, this wasn’t a night where the streets were quiet, in fact, I had a line of ten God damn cars behind me, so while I was desperately trying to get word to my folks at home that I was broke down in the middle of the road (because stupid me, I left my phone at home), I also had to play street conductor because I didn’t know where my hazard lights were in that car, and I didn’t want everyone sitting behind me to get pissed about me not moving when the light turned green.

    About fifteen minutes later, a nice lady finally pulled up alongside me and turned on her hazard lights, then let me borrow her phone so that I could call my folks and FINALLY get them out there to help me get back in our own driveway, while being mocked all the while for not knowing where my own hazard lights were. Fun times!

  7. AdmiralSakai says:

    why not make a little 9 chapter story (including prologue) of the 8 pages of slender.

    Ok, sure:

    Prologue: I’m a park ranger, and someone has been littering in my patrol area.
    1: I found a crappy drawing.
    2: I found another crappy drawing.
    3: I found yet another crappy drawing.
    4: Just how many of these things are there? And why are they positioned seemingly at random.
    5: Thought I found some kind of art magazine but it turned out to just be another crappy drawing.
    6: Well what do you know? A crappy drawing!
    7: Is it even appropriate to call them ‘drawings’? They’re more like doodles, or scribbles.
    8: Slenderman told me that’s all the crappy drawings he’s seen in the park, so I should be able to get home in time to watch House Hunters International.

  8. AdmiralSakai says:

    Should I call for help? Unfortunately, I left my cellphone at home.

    I don’t have that problem, because I have a phone holster.

  9. AdmiralSakai says:

    There were a couple of cars outside of the farm.

    The ‘farm’ which is apparently virgin forest.

  10. AdmiralSakai says:

    I could hear voices in my head; at least twelve of them.

  11. BatJamags says:

    New story based on a famous meme, mythological creature, and game on the internet SLENDER!

    The Slender Man. And we’ve already confirmed that this person can’t do research and assumed from the game’s title that the Slender Man’s name is just Slender.

  12. BatJamags says:

    I was driving late in the afternoon; approximately, five o’clock.

    So if Bobby departs before Carlos, and Alexa departs at four o’clock, who ate waffles for breakfast that morning?

  13. BatJamags says:

    Should I call for help? Unfortunately, I left my cellphone at home.

    Why? Was it a pool party or something (Fun fact: I once went SCUBA diving with my phone in my pocket. I don’t have that phone anymore.)? I’m not saying I never leave my phone at home, but for a long trip like this, it makes no sense to leave it behind. If it’s a formal event or something, just turn it off.

  14. Jon Arbuckle says:

    “I could hear voices in my head; at least twelve of them.”

  15. Jon Arbuckle says:

    “I glanced at the gas meter.

    Gauge, it’s called the gas gauge.”

    You’re both wrong, it’s called a fuel gauge.

    • GhostCat says:

      Let’s play “Spot The British Person”!

      • Jon Arbuckle says:

        It’s not gaseous! Stop calling it gas!

      • SC says:

        Hang on, if we’re having an American English versus Queen’s English debate, I’m getting popcorn.

      • Jon Arbuckle says:

        Petrol is short for petroleum which is what you actually put in your car (unless it’s a diesel or an electric). If your petrol tank is full of a gas then the car is going nowhere.

        Unless it’s a hydrogen powered car, which is statistically very unlikely and doesn’t have a tank anyway.

        Of course this is an important issue and not a waste of time, the sanctity of the English language is at stake.

        • GhostCat says:

          Well, “gas” is short for “gasoline” – a word which came into use before “petrol” did.

          And “petrol” derives from the French pétrole, so there.

      • Jon Arbuckle says:

        If you’re playing that game, “petroleum” has been in use since the 16th century where “gasoline” has only been used since the 19th. So the root of “petrol” predates the root of “gas”.

        • GhostCat says:

          Technically “petroleum” would go back farther than that, since it is Latin (literally “rock oil”) in origin, but we’re not talking about filling up with crude oil.

      • Jon Arbuckle says:

        “Pétrole” comes from petroleum. It’s a proud and storied word, where “gasoline” was a brief 19th century experiment that Americans insist on using for some reason.

        • GhostCat says:

          Hey, that wasn’t our fault; blame the Irish for that one. “Gasoline” comes from Cazoline, which was a brand of lamp oil imported from the US by an Englishman named John Cassell. An Irishman started selling counterfeit Cazoline Oil and was told to stop, but instead he just added one little line and turned his stock into Gazoline. In fact, “gasolene” was first used in a British newspaper in 1863.

      • Jon Arbuckle says:

        It’s refined oil.

      • BatJamags says:

        Entirely relevant:

      • Jon Arbuckle says:

        You win this time you meddling Americans! But I’ll be back as soon as I see you misspell “aluminium” or “colour”! You haven’t seen the last of me!

      • SC says:

        *Cue lighthearted heroic laughter*

      • agigabyte says:

        *Sips beverage that may be tea or may be coffee*

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