1785: His Inamorata: Light and Dark – Oneshot

 

Title: His Inamorata: Light and Dark
Author: LittleNightma
Media: Video Game/Creepypasta
Topic: Slender: The Eight Pages
Genre: Romance/Hurt/Comfort
URL: Chapter 1
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

—WARNING: CONTAINS POSSIBLE TRIGGER MATERIAL—

—AND WAY TOO MANY BAD TOUCHES—

—NSFW/NSFC—

 

 

Hello, dear Patrons!

Are you ready for another chapter of softcore Slendtai?

“But Ghostie!” You may be thinking to yourself, “I thought you finished The Slender Man Romance fic already?”

Why, yes I did, hypothetical Patron – but this is the Intertubez! There’s so much more out there.

So, so much more. Also fanart. :shudders:  Do not look for the fanart without Safe Search on.

Any-hoo, this is a new “Romance” fic featuring The Slender Man. Let’s take a look at the summary, shall we?

Jayde is visited by the Slenderman. What does he want? Light and Dark Version to this. Two-Shot. Previously known as His Mate: Part 1.

Already I can tell a few things about this fic; the character with the Special Name Spelling is probably the Sue and – based on the fic’s current and previous titles – is going to wind up being The Slender Man’s lover. I did take a look at the author’s other fics and could not fine the second part of this two-shot. The fic is over four years old so it is possible it has never been written.

Let’s get to the fic!

Jade woke, startled as she heard the loud crack of thunder echo through out her house.

So startled that the ‘y’ fell out of her name.

She looked over at her clock which sat alone on her night stand next to her bed.

Hey, maybe it’s a strong, independent clock that don’t need no one to be happy.

The clock read eleven thirty on the dot in glowing red letters.

It always kind of freaks me out when I look at a clock and it’s exactly on the hour or half-past. It’s just weird considering that, statistically speaking, it’s far more likely (two out of sixty or 3.33%) that the clock would be on any other time except exactly on the hour or half past. Of course, if this is an analog clock (assuming anyone still uses those) it might be a little before or after, since it can be hard to judge exactly where the minute hand is.

The vibrant red stood out the most in the dark bedroom besides the moonlight that snuck between her window curtain and illuminated her room with its angelic glow.

Between her curtain and what? Finish your thought, author.

And which is it? Is the clock’s glow standing out, or is the moonlight making everything all ethereal? You can’t have both.

She glared at her window, mentally cursing the raging storm taking place outside for waking her up.

Wait, there’s a frickin’ storm? I thought it was just a dramatic crack of thunder. But how is there any moonlight at all if there’s a raging storm outside? Storms usually mean clouds, which cut down on the amount of ethereal moonlight stealing through your curtains.

She had school in six hours!

Her school starts at five-thirty in the morning? That seems really early. And if she has to get there at five-thirty, she would have to get up much earlier than that.

Well, she didn’t really care whether she would be late to school due to her having a sleepless night, but she was pretty damn tired and needed her rest.

Restless night?

:laughs out loud:

You’ve been awake for what, ten seconds? At a time when some people are just getting to bed. And how do you know you’re not going to be able to go back to sleep? The storm might be over in a few minutes.

She tucked herself back under her covers and layed her head on the pillow. The coolness of the fabric seemed to make her more tired and wanting to fall asleep faster. She brushed her cheek against the pillow before she closed her eyes.

Let me guess – it’s not going to work.

Five minutes passed…Ten…fifteen…twenty…twenty five…

:yawns:

She might not be tired, but I’m bored out of my skull.

“This is useless! I am never going to fall asleep!” Jade exclaimed exhaustedly.

Called it.

Jade must be a delicate little flower; I regularly go to bed much later than that (I try not to, but … y’know) and have to get up at five in the morning to get ready for work. And that’s not even mentioning the occasional bout of insomnia.

She harshly pulled the covers from her body, cursing as she did so, and walked down the hallway towards the kitchen. She needed a drink.

Me too, but probably for a different reason.

I hope that school she has to go to in a few hours is college, or she has bigger problems than a storm waking her up.

She snuck a glance in her parents room and found their bed still neatly made up just like it had been that morning. Jade shook her head. Her parents were workaholics.

And have some kind of cleaning fetish if they bothered making the bed before going to work. I rarely make my bed, but that’s mostly because I have four cats that like to “help” me. It’s a bit like playing a video game on Nightmare Mode; you know in advance you’re probably going to fail, you just don’t know how badly.

Always at the office, barley having any time to spend with their fifteen-year-old daughter.

She’s fifteen?!? What the hell is she doing drinking at her age?

Jade, like most teens her age, liked solitude.

I’ll take “Blanket Assumptions” for five hundred, Alex.

However she like having her family around when they had time away from their office work. She wasn’t like those people always locked themselves in their room. She missed her parents terribly.

So she likes solitude, but also wants to be around her family a lot. Those seem like two very different things to me.

When she reached the kitchen, another loud clap of thunder erupted though the atmosphere accompanied by a wave of lightning.

I do not think you understand how weather works.

The window in the kitchen let in the light from the lightning.

In other news, rain is damp.

Jade looked and gasped when she saw a tall figure in the corner of the hall.

I thought she was in the kitchen?

Jade screamed and ran (More like stumbled) back to her room,

:THWACK!:

If she’s stumbling, then make her stumble! Don’t try to have it two ways.

almost running over Padfoot, her beloved cat.

Awww, someone’s a Harry Potter fan! But Padfoot was a dog, so Crookshanks or Mrs. Norris might have been a better name for your cat.

Poor thing, if only she had looked closer and realized it was coat hanger she had mistakenly took as Slenderman, the one she had been afraid of ever since she was told the story of him by a boy named Joseph.

Nandatte?

This phrasing is just all kinds of awkward. Did she trip over her cat only it was really a coat hanger? Or was the figure she saw just a coat hanger? I assume it’s the latter, even though The Slender Man isn’t quite as skinny as a coat hanger, but the way the thoughts are all smooshed together makes it very unclear.

Alas though, another tall figure had been watching Jade ever since she had woken up.

:crosses all the things:

Please don’t be a sparklepire.

Joseph was the school bully back when Jade was a child. He would scare the younger children by telling false tales of monsters that loved under your bed, waiting or you to set your feet on the floor so it could grab them and drag beneath you bed forever.

…Oh-kay. Is Joseph the tall figure that has been watching Jade? Because mentioning him right after introducing the tall figure makes me think that could be the case. Also, Joseph sounds like the best bully ever; I wish the bullies when I went to school would have told us scary stories instead of dumping salt shakers over our heads or pushing us into puddles.

Jade was terrified ever since then of Slenderman. She never dared to go near the forest that were behind her house fearing that the legendary Slenderman would snatch her away and eat her.

But I thought Joseph was telling her stories about monsters that lived under her bed; what does that have to do with The Slender Man? He usually hangs out in desolate forests.

Anything that even resembled the Slenderman scared her shitless.

Anything? Because that would cover a wide range of things.

People in suits scared her. Bald men scared her. Tall men scared her. Even the Hitman character scared her and her wasn’t even real!

Jade must be a frickin’ nervous wreck every time she goes out in public.

Slamming the door with a loud bang,

Because nothing soothes the nerves like loud noises.

Jade dived under her covers and pulled them over her head, wrapping the duvet tightly around her body as if it would protect her.

Are you implying that your blankets aren’t an impenetrable barrier between your frail meat-sack and the terrors of the night? Because I must call bullshit on that.

“Look at me, fifteen years old and still terrified of a monster that a freakin jackass told me about like, what, nine years ago! Slenderman is not real!”

It is kind of strange that you would still be scared of the same thing that frightened you when you were six years old, especially since you’re getting to be that age where girls start getting constant warnings about being vigilant against rapists – but it’s also strange that you have to remind yourself how old you are, so there you go.

Suddenly, she heard a deep chuckle come from a corner of her bedroom. Jade froze, petrified at what was in her room with her. She started to shake and whimper.

See, at this point I would be less worried about being attacked by a mythical creature and more concerned that I would soon be featured on an episode of Forensic Files.

“Oh god, oh god, please tell me I did not hear a laugh!” she whispered.

Ummm… Why is she scared of the laugh? I mean, there’s someone standing in her room and that’s obviously scary, but why the laugh? Since when does laughing feature in The Slender Man’s stories? That’s more of a Jeff the Killer thing.

She waited a few moments before she slowly peeked her head from beneath her duvet. She gasped when she saw a silhouette of a tall figure standing in the corner of her room.

Look very closely – does it sparkle?!?

Another lighting bolt struck the sky with such a fierceness that it lighted her whole room, revealing the appearance of the person.

SO much awkward phrasing. And I just realized we don’t even know what Jade looks like.

Dressed in a midnight black suit and red tie, was Slenderman himself.

Such shock. Much surprise.

I’m willing to bet there’s not going to be a complete description of The Slender Man, either.

He had his head tilted to the side as he stared at her-he was staring at her right?

:shrugs:

He doesn’t have eyes, but that doesn’t stop most fic authors.

Eh, no matter. Anyway, eight tentacles appeared behind him, swaying to a tuneless beat as he silently watched her.

Hey, can you try to maintain your tone, fic?

Jade screamed and backed herself in a corner on her bed, shaking her head violently.

Dude, forget the dramatic poses – get your ass out of there!

“NO! Get away from me! Your not real! Your a myth!

Or he’s not real and you are just dreaming, which is far more likely that The Slender Man suddenly appearing in your bedroom.
No, wait; it’s a Romance badfic. It’s totally more likely that The Slender Man would suddenly appeared in her bedroom with no adequate explanation.

I am not going to die by you dirty hands, you monster!” she hissed at him. Her face held anger, yet her eyes had a fear of a child held in them.

GAH! What is it with fics putting things in characters’ eyes?!?

Slenderman made no sound as he started to walk towards her, tentacles flailing behind him. Jade gulped and scooted backwards as far she could go.

But not, y’know, making any attempt to run away.

She was going to die. A horrible, gruesome death. Her parents were going to find her lying in a puddle of blood with her organs removed when they came home. If they came home that is

Well, aren’t we just the little ddrama llama. This whole “No one appreciates me, but they’ll all be sorry when I’m dead!” makes Jade sound like she’s got a wee hint of bitch in her.

Slenderman was at the foot of her bed. He continued to stare at her for a few minutes before a black, snake-like tentacle wrapped itself around her ankle and pulled her across her bed.

If he’s planning on abducting and/or murdering her, he certainly is taking his sweet-ass time doing it.

Jade kicked and flailed herself.

Like, literally? If she has access to a flail – and I don’t really want to know why a fifteen-year-old would have a flail in her bed in the middle of the night – why isn’t she flailing The Slender Man? Getting hit repeatedly with a threshing tool would probably make him think twice about abducting and/or murdering her.

It was no use though. A suited arm wrapped itself around her waist and pulled her up to his seven-foot height.

Probably resulting in more Dramatic Poses that don’t actually work in a written piece.

Jade screamed and struggled as hard as she possible could but with no effect.

Have you tried biting? Very few people will continue to hold an animal that is biting them, you just instinctively let go.

Slenderman had her pulled tightly to his chest, holding her like a child. Jade was frozen.

I thought she was fighting back for all she’s worth? Is this another one of those “wants to have it both ways” scenes?

How dare her mock her! Was this some sort of trick? Tears started to prick her eyes. What a sadistic bastard.

Bwa? How is this considered “mocking” her? And what has he done that would be considered sadistic? He’s grabbed her, yes; but he’s not torturing her. He’s not really doing anything to her yet.

“Hush child,” said Slenderman soothingly.

:headdesk:

Why are there so many fics where The Slender Man talks? I know it is common for authors to give dialogue to canonically silent characters, but he literally has no face! The Slender Man lacks the physical assets necessary to talk. And if he’s communicating another way, you have to actually show that.

He took a black tentacle and caressed her tear-stained cheek lightly.

:THWACK!:

BAD TOUCH!

Jade notably winced. That thing touched her face!

Weren’t you just convinced that he would disembowel you? That requires a lot more contact than a gentle touch on the cheek.

“Don’t…don’t touch me.” she snapped at him. She turned her head the other way to keep the tentacle from touching her. She could still feel the tingle of where it had touched her.

:THWACK!:

BAD TOUCH!

I know it’s still technically the same touch, but it is … lingering.

“You don’t have to be afraid. I am not here to hurt you.” he said.

Yeah, right; you just broke into her house in the middle of a dark, stormy night for an impromptu tickle party.

Jade glanced at him wearily.

Jade sure is experiencing a lot of mood swings.

She wished he had eyes so she could tell if he was lying to her or not. For eyes, he merely had sunken holes to imitate them.

Again we’re having it both ways; The Slender Man doesn’t have eyes, only he has something so similar to eyes that they are really imitation eyes. Except it doesn’t work that way since it should still be glaringly obvious that he doesn’t have any eyes.

:rubs forehead:

Ghostie’s think-meat all hurty now.

“I am not going to fall for that bullshit. Of course your going to kill me. That’s what you do. You kill.” she spat.

Does he? Sure, The Slender Man is a menacing figure and he does do something to his victims, but I don’t think it’s ever stated (in the video games at least) that he straight-up murders them. Their fate is left ambiguous.

If she was going to die, she might as well let out her anger on him.

Jade is just having herself a real emotional roller coaster, isn’t she?

Slenderman sighed and sat on Jade’s bed with her in his lap. Jade felt uncomfortable and tried to scoot away from him but he kept a firm grip around her waist.

:THWACK!:

BAD TOUCH!

I really don’t like where this fic is going.

“I am not going to deny the things that I have done in the past. Yes, I have killed people, children mostl-”

“Innocent children!” Jade interrupted and pushed away from him. This time he let her go without a fight.

Bitch, you better book it out of there. Might I remind you that you are a child and he just admitted to murdering children?

He watched as she stood in front of him, fists clenched and eyes seething sith a fire that dwelled within her.

:tosses bucket of water into Jade’s eyes:

Seriously, why is there so much stuff in character’s eyes all of a sudden? Is this some kind of new trend, or am I just noticing it more?

“How can you be so cruel..so..so heartless! How can you just take away a child’s life like it’s nothing! Do feel good killing a child that cannot fight you back? That could never have the strength or the ability to defend themself against you? Hmm? ” she pressed.

Angrily confronting a confessed murderer who has you trapped in your room? That sounds like a GREAT idea!

:hands Jade a pointy stick:

While you’re at it, do you think you could go give that angry beehive a few jabs?

Jade was beyond mad She was pissed. Her fear turned into hatred when he started to mention the things he had done.

After countless fics starring blank emotionless slates, it is more than a little unsettling to have a character that experiences ALL THE EMOTIONS! in such rapid-fire succession. The Slender Man barely said anything and she went from being terrified to practically jumping down his nonexistent throat because he’s a horrible child-murderer.

At first, she wasn’t sure if the disappearances and killings of children were the doings of Slenderman because she wasn’t all that sure if he was real or just some jacked up fairytale. Oh, but now she knew that it was his fault!

Wait, what?

Where did all these child abductions/murders come from? Why weren’t they mentioned when Jade was freaking out about seeing shadows and hearing noises? It would give some legitimacy to her fears rather than making it sound like she’s frightened of a fictional bogeyman she heard about when she was six.

For some odd reason, a reason that beyond her, Jade felt a pull towards him.

I don’t really understand the attraction either (I most definitely do not swing that way) but there must be something to it or why else would there be so many Slendtai fics out there?

The whole premise of this fic – a dark and stormy night, nubile girl alone in the house, a mysterious stranger appearing in the shadows – is more like the set-up for a horror film but the author seems determined to turn it into something pulled from the pages of a bad Harlequin romance novel.

It was weird. She feared and hated this thing to no end that was for sure but she also had a strange urge to run to him. To feel him. That scared Jade the most. Why would she want to touch him after everything he did? No way in hell was that happening.

Yeah, that’s weird. It’s all kinds of weird. Even if The Slender Man wasn’t a tentacle-bedecked faceless creature from your deepest nightmares, this would still be weird and very disturbing. If he was just some random stranger who broke into a young girl’s house and started cuddling her that would be a very serious crime even without him confessing to murder.

“Jade, please listen to me. I wish that I never have to kill another child as long as I live, but that, I’m afraid is not the case. You see, I need to feed off the youth of children to survive. They are what keep me alive. ” he explained. He observed her closely as she took in his words.

In essence, The Slender Man is a vampire who feeds off of the ‘youth’ of children. Based on Jade’s fear of having her organs removed I assume he harvests this “youth” via disemboweling, which seems a lot messier than the traditional vampire’s neck-bite.

Technically speaking, if he stopped killing children then he would never kill another one as long as he lived; he just wouldn’t live very long because he would starve to death. His continued existence is more important to him than the lives of countless children. I think that’s one of the trademarks of a sociopath.

“Your still a monster. You could at least try and find another thing you could live off of!” Jade shot back.

Slenderman rose and cupped her cheeks and his large, white hands.

:THWACK!:

BAD TOUCH!

Things are going in a really odd direction. I mean, I did expect things to go off the rails – just not quite like this.

“I have tried everything I can possibly think of! Animals, plants,even your disgusting human food. Nothing works…except for maybe one theory that I recently come across.”

Good on him for trying, I guess? “Youth” seems like a fairly vague food source so why couldn’t he satisfy himself with a basket of puppies? Is it just because reasons?

“What do you mean?” she asked skeptically. Slenderman looked at her before taking her face in his hands and kissing her fully on the lips.

:THWACK!:

BAD TOUCH!

How is this even a thing for people to fantasize about? HE’S GOT NO MOUTH!

Please point to where his mouth is. Go ahead, I’ll wait.

Her eyes widened in shock.

Probably because it is a physical impossibility.

Slenderman…was kissing her! Oh geez. This couldn’t be happening.

No, it can’t. Please see the above picture and “physical impossibility” comment.

She had to be dreaming, right?

I hope one of us is dreaming, and I’d prefer it be me.

As much as she wanted to nail him between the legs,

I would also prefer it if that could be phrased just a little differently.

she found she didn’t have the will power to break apart from the unexpected kiss.

Probably because he’s draining her life essence or her youth or something.

Slenderman pulled Jade against him tightly loving the warmth that radiated off her body.

:THWACK!:

BAD TOUCH!

He’s enjoying her warmth? That just sounds so creepy after the whole “I feed off youth!” thing.

Jade wanted to wrap her arms around his neck but he was too tall that she wasn’t able to reach far enough.

Oh, please let her strangle him.

Slenderman sensed her predicament and picked her up, wrapping her legs around his waist.

:THWACK!:

BAD TOUCH!

:headdesk:

Dammit.

Jade eagerly took the opportunity to wrap her arms around his neck and bring him loser.

:THWACK!:

BAD TOUCH!

:snorts:

Oh, I love that typo so very much right now.

Jade didn’t see any mouth on Slenderman and yet she could feel something move in rhythm with hers.

:THWACK!:

BAD TOUCH!

Tha … It … WHA?!?

Slenderman lightly bit her lip making her gasp in surprise.

:THWACK!:

BAD TOUCH!

What the frickin’ frack? He doesn’t have a mouth, the narration just confirmed it! WHAT THE HELL?!?

He plunged his tongue forcefully into her hot cave.

:THWACK!:

BAD TOUCH!

:dumps bucket of Brain Bleach over head:

He doesn’t even have a mouth, how can he have a tongue? And it’s in her ‘hot cave”? Just exactly where is he sticking that tongue?

Jade moaned and pressed herself harder to Slenderman’s body. She raked her hand over Slenderman’s neck and head feeling the smoothness on the tips of her fingers.

Jade has had yet another sudden emotional change and instead of being angry or scared she’s decided she wants to tap that tentacled ass.

Her tongue danced an erotic dance with Slenderman’s.

:THWACK!:

BAD TOUCH!

He didn’t miss a centimeter of space within her sweet tasting mouth, running his tongue over her teeth and down her throat.

:THWACK!:

BAD TOUCH!

Ewwww.

How is this meant to be romantic? Romance should not make you picture a dog trying to get peanut butter out of an almost empty jar.

Yeah, that’s super-sexy. :dumps another bucket of Brain Bleach over her head: Also, I need a bigger bucket for my Brain Bleach.

And how is he even able to stick his non-existent tongue that far into her mouth? It’s not physically possible for a human, but I guess The Slender Man is exactly human so if he does have a tongue (and he doesn’t) it might be longer than a human’s. He can manifest all those tentacles, so a long tongue might not be too far-fetched.

You can thank Herr for this slice of Nightmare Fuel, I take no credit for it.

 

He suddenly pulled away, setting her down on the floor.

Oh, thank the gods!

Jade was panting with hard want and soon felt empty without the hold of Slenderman.

Girl, you need a hobby. And possibly some Seroquel to stabilize those mood swings.

Slenderman took a step back waiting for IT to happen.

What? What’s going to happen?

He felt like he was on a high and Jade was the drug he was addicted to.

Then why did he dump her ass on the floor?

A light bursted from his body and he immediately felt rejuvenated with spurts of energy. Jade watched the scene play out. Slenderman had his head held back as he was covered with the white light that came from no where. He looked like an angel. A faceless angel.

Nandatte? Are … Are they having sex? Because I’m almost positive it doesn’t work like that. It has been a while, but I think I would remember faceless angels and a full-body glow-ejaculation.

The light soon vanished and Slenderman fell back to earth.

Wait, was he floating? Where does it say in that description that he was floating? It says he felt high, not that he was actually high up.

He stared back at a wide-eyed Jade who had her mouth covered with her hand.

She probably didn’t want to get any of the glow-ejaculate in her mouth.

“How..why…that light! What happened?! How did you do that?” she exploded with her questions.

Those are all excellent questions! Who wants to bet there are no good answers?

She had done some research on Slenderman and not once did any of the articles mention Slenderman would emit a white light from himself.

Maybe because if he does it too much, he’ll go blind. No, wait – he has no eyes.

And it is very telling that even the fic knows that this is total bullshit, but is continuing on anyway.

Slenderman chuckled loudly. Oh heavens, he had been right! He might have finally found someone who would finally accept him!

Or someone who can trigger your light-show fap session.

“Slenderman?” Jade asked with a cautious steps towards him. Slenderman picked Jade up with his abnormally long arms and twirled her around childishly. Jade laughed as her legs flew from beneath her.

:THWACK!:

BAD TOUCH!

Weren’t they both standing next to her bed? How big is Jade’s room, anyway?

“Slenderman I’m going be sick!” laughed Jade. Slenderman set a dizzy Jade down onto the ground, steadying her with his arms.

“What was that all about?” she asked.

I’m curious about that, too – but at the same time I don’t want to know.

“Jade, for me to feed off a child’s innocence, I either have to eat their heart fresh from their body or I kiss them.” Slenderman shook his head picturing himself kissing a child.

Woah, woah, woah – he’s fine with eating a child’s heart right out of their body (with his non-existent mouth) but draws the line at kissing them (also with his non-existent mouth)? What kind of sick fuck would rather torture and mutilate a child then give them a kiss on the cheek? He doesn’t have to ram his non-existent tongues down their throats for it to work, does he?

“However, I am chosen a mate by faith.

Nandatte? The hell is that supposed to mean?

They are the only ones that can give me the energy that a child can.”

…Does this mean Jade is pregnant now? Because I’m fairly certain that nothing that happened would result in a baby, plus she’s way too young.

“Wait a minute! You have to kill your own mate!?” Jade exclaimed.

What? How did you get that from what he said? And why would it be shocking? You already know he eats the hearts of children.

“No no no, Jade. My mate is someone that I fall in love instantly with once I see them. It’s like I can see the bond that pulls us together.” Slenderman explained. Jade raised her eyebrows.

Why is he explaining how he finds a mate? She didn’t ask him about that. Is it because she’s his mate and he wants to use this nonsense to justify his assault of her?

“You mean like a wolf mate?”

I do not think that is how wolves find mates; like, at all. There’s usually a primary breeding pair consisting of the most dominant wolves, the male and female alpha, who became dominant (and thus mates) because they are the strongest members of the pack and not because of some weird light show.

“Yes, I suppose it could be seen like that,

Only not, because that isn’t how it works.

unfortunately there is one draw back.”

Only one? You’re getting off light then.

“What’s that?”

:checks wrist:

Is it time for the half-assed explanation already? My, how the fic does drag by.

“I am not what you say is beautiful.

Like I said before, you don’t exactly make my teapot whistle, but there’s plenty of people out there who find you attractive.

I am described as a monster, a predator that ruthlessly and mercilessly stalks tiny children before I kidnap them and well, you know the rest.”

You’re not doing a very good job of selling yourself, dude.

We don’t know the rest; you told Jade that you eat the hearts of children but were vague on the details. Do the hearts have to be still beating? Do you rip them out like that poor asshole in Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom?

Slenderman bowed his head shamelessly.

Bowing your head is typically seen as an act of humility, or contrition, or shame; that’s the exact opposite of what The Slender Man is supposed to be doing.

“Alright, I know what your talking about,” Jade countered going back to a few minutes ago when she was yelling at Slenderman,” but what is the draw back.”

If you can’t think of any drawbacks associated with getting paired up with a faceless child-murderer, then you’re probably in the right fic.

Jade heard a very audible sigh come from Slenderman. He moved towards her window with his arms behind his back. Nothing was said for a few long moments to Jade’s dismay. Though, she didn’t want to rush him. He might not tell her what the problem was and she wanted greatly to know.

Why does she care what problems an admitted murderer – who just assaulted her and literally shoved his tongue down her throat – has? There’s nothing between them! In fact, she was shouting at him right up until the point that he assaulted her. So why is she suddenly going all doe-eyed over him? I get that she’s supposed to be his mate, or whatever, but this isn’t a romantic encounter; it’s a series of felonies. She’s fifteen years old, for gods’ sake!

Jade moved across her room and stood next to Slenderman at the window. She noticed the storm had passed and the moon was high in the sky casting a white glow through the window and onto Slenderman’s suit. He was too tall to look out the window to enjoy its view without bending his head a little. She looked up at him and placed a hand in his.

:cups hand around ear: Do you hear that? Somewhere, The World’s Tiniest Orchestra is tuning up.

“You can tell me, Slenderman.” Jade urged him.

You probably couldn’t stop him if you wanted to.

“I have seen many different people fall in love with someone that is a total opposite to them. It’s like watching water trying to blend with oil once you put them in the same bowl.

That’s a weird analogy for complex human interactions. People don’t just lay on top of each other until you break one of them into little globs with a fork. At least, I really hope not.

It just doesn’t work out and yet at the same time, it does.

…Not really, not without some kind of emulsifying agent like egg yolks. Is sex supposed to be the emulsifier in this analogy? Because sex is a terrible egg yolk; you can’t fix a bad relationship with sex. (This is also one of the oddest analogies I’ve ever used.)

I envied those who found someone to love them and cherish the ground they walked upon as if they were God. ” he glanced at Jade to see her face.

:snort-snuffles:

Frickin’ hell! He’s not asking for much, is he?

The Slender Man seems to be confused; he’s supposed to be looking for a lover, not a disciple. Holding someone you love in high esteem is one thing, but worshiping the ground you walk on? That is not only an unrealistic relationship goal, but it sounds like you’re trying to start your own cult. And if all he wanted was for someone to be mindlessly devoted to him, couldn’t he use his Proxies? They are basically mind-controlled zombies who worship him unquestioningly.

 She was listening intently to every word he was saying.

I can’t believe she’s falling for this bullshit.

“When I found out I had a mate, I was overjoyed. I actually felt like there was someone out there waiting for me to sweep them of their feet and love them forever.

I sense a “but” in there somewhere.

Oh, how those dreams soon shattered once I showed myself to her. She didn’t want me, though I knew she could feel a pull towards me. She screamed and yelled and cursed me at me.

Unlike Jade, whose brain has been reduced to lust-gelatin.

She said she didn’t want to be in love with a child killer…she didn’t want to love a monster. She couldn’t love a monster. No one can.”

Never say “no one”, dude. Serial killers have all kinds of groupies, just look at the Manson Family. And Ted Bundy married and fathered a child while sitting on Death Row after being convicted of multiple murders and other assorted nastiness.

“What did you do?” she asked softly hoping he didn’t kill the girl for not wanting him.

Since the only options are either a kiss or ripping out the person’s heart and eating it and she found him too physically repulsive to kiss, there’s probably only one way this ends.

“She lost her mind when she found out she was my mate. She wanted a man that would care for her and protect her. Shower her with gifts and give her small kisses whenever he could.”

“You could have done all that.” Jade added.

He could? How, exactly? It’s not like he could run to the store for a bouquet and a box of chocolates.

“Yes, I know I could. However she wanted a man that would take her out to dinner, wine and dine her. Show her off to his friends to make them jealous.”

What you just described is a trophy; specifically that the woman was looking to be some rich and successful man’s arm-candy. It sounds more like she was looking for a business arrangement, not a romance.

“And what did you do?” she repeated.

I assume he didn’t give her a bag of money to pretend to adore him, even though it sounds like that would have done the job.

SHE killed herself before me without a second thought.

Why do you sound so accusatory? You make it seem like her death was something she did just to spite you.

Took a razor from the bathroom and slit her throat.”

Ouch. She must have been very dedicated to dying that way; most people don’t have straight razors in their bathrooms so she probably had to break open a safety razor and then use one of the flimsy bits of metal to saw through her throat. I bet it took her forever to even break the skin.

Jade formed an “oh” with her mouth in recognition.

Unless Jade has also used a flimsy bit of metal to saw through her neck, I don’t think that’s the word you were looking for.

Her heart felt like it had been ripped apart.

That’s Option B.

Slenderman wasn’t a killer by choice. It wasn’t his fault that his mate rejected and then killed herself right before him. That didn’t explain why he was here, though.

No, he has chosen to be a killer. Maybe he’s not entirely responsible for Little Miss Gold-Digger’s suicide, but he’s eaten the hearts of countless children just to stay alive.

“Why did you come here? To my house, I mean.”

Really? He mouth-wrestles with you and tells you about how he finds his mate and you haven’t picked up on why he’s there?

Damn, girl; you be an idiot.

If Slenderman had a visible mouth, she would have thought he was smiling by the way his cheekbone raised themselves.

:headdesk:

Seriously, author; either give him a mouth or don’t. This wish-washy shit does nothing but confuse the audience.

He pressed his finger tips below her chin and tilted her head so she looked directly at him.

:THWACK!:

BAD TOUCH!

Right where his non-existent eyes would be. It’s kind of hard to share a deep, meaningful stare when one of the participants lacks the needed sensory organs.

He pressed his forehead on hers.

And bit off her nose so they could match.

“Because, my beautiful one, you are my mate.” He breathed.

:deadpan: Oh, what a surprise. I totally did not see that coming.

HE SAID WHAT NOW!

:THWACK!:

No Author’s Notes in the narration!

Did you mean for this to be a surprise, author? Because it wasn’t. You telegraphed this revelation so broadly that Mr. Magoo could see it from a mile away. This was as far from a surprise as you could possibly get.

“Wh- what?” Jade took a step back.

:headdesk:

But of course Jade was taken completely by surprise! Dumbass. This is beyond being genre-blind; she lacks the common sense the gods gave a boll weevil.

“Jade, you are my mate. Since my first one killed herself, faith has giving me a second chance,” he pulled her close,” with you.”

That was awfully nice of “faith” to give you a mulligan, especially since you shat the bed with the last mate it gave you.

She suddenly felt something cool on the side of her neck.

:THWACK!:

BAD TOUCH!

I’m half-hoping it’s a razor blade.

Slenderman had bent his hed and was now nipping at the tentative pale skin of her neck.

:THWACK!:

BAD TOUCH!

That’s not even close to the right word for this situation.

Jade instantly melted in his arms.

Ewww!

:puts feet up on desk:

Now I’ve got to call Housekeeping and tell them to shampoo the Sue out of the carpets.

She never had a boyfriend so she didn’t know anything about being in a relationship with someone.

:snorts:

Oh, really? I would have never guessed.

Wait, was she actually considering being in a relationship with Slenderman?

No?

Yes, yes she was.

:headdesk:

Dammit.

Slenderman licked and sucked at her neck but made sure to keep a mark from popping up.

:THWACK!:

BAD TOUCH!

If you insist on necking then you should at least do it properly, dammit.

He rubbed tiny circles along her back, pulling her closer to him. He needed to feel her body molding with his.

:THWACK!:

BAD TOUCH!

He’s not going to try to wear her skin as a dress, is he?

Jade pulled her head away and grabbed his red tie, feeling the smoothness of it with her fingers.

Not that I really want them to keep kissing, but she could fondle his tie while they suck face; it’s called “multi-tasking”.

She pulled him towards her and pressed her mouth to his.

:THWACK!:

BAD TOUCH!

Why do fics only have two settings when it comes to kissing; awkward dry lip-presses and super sloppy “I’m trying to touch your adenoids with my tongue”?

He eagerly replied by lifting her and wrapping her legs around his waist.

:THWACK!:

BAD TOUCH!

I feel the need to remind everyone that Jade is only fifteen and The Slender Man is an unknown age but has been extending his life with the fresh hearts of young children for an unknown length of time. It’s like the author has forgotten those little details.

Jade knew this was wrong.

Both in a moral sense and in a legal sense.

Here she was kissing Slenderman and she was loving every single minute of it.

:THWACK!:

BAD TOUCH!

 

She whimpered when he pulled away, chest heaving as was hers.

Words making sense were not.

He walked over and layed her down on the bed,

:THWACK!:

BAD TOUCH!

Oh, shit.

pulling the covers over her body.

Huh. Not where I was expecting that to go.

“I accept you, you know.” she whispered.

Is that what you kids call it these days?

“You do? Even after everything that I have done?”

Why are you surprised by this? She was just climbing you like a kudzu vine.

“Yes. You said that your mate could give you energy by kissing you, right?”

“Exactly.”

“Then I accept you.”

You should probably ask a few pertinent questions – like how much energy he takes, if if renews or if you have a limited amount, how often he has to recharge, etc. – before you do anything rash.

Slenderman could literally cry right there.

But he can’t because he has no lacrimal glands.

Of course he wasn’t going to.

BECAUSE HE CAN’T.

he had finally found his mate who accepted him!

On his second try; it’s not as if he has been searching for centuries. And since ‘faith’ was willing to throw extra mates his way, he could just move on to someone else once he’s done with Jade.

Yes, she was still young but he wasn’t going to try anything like THAT on her until she was of age.

Probably because the author is uncomfortable writing a graphic sex scene even though they have written what is essentially a wish-fulfillment fantasy.

“Is that the only thing you accept me for?” asked Slenderman as he crawled into he the bed with her.

:THWACK!:

BAD TOUCH!

I don’t understand the question. You told her she was your mate and she told you that she accepted you; your question makes no sense in that context.

She smiled slyly, cuddling into his chest.

:THWACK!:

BAD TOUCH!

At least she didn’t smirk.

“No. Your also a great kisser too.”

And your response doesn’t make any sense! Are you two even having the same conversation?

That’s the end of the fic itself, there is a line break followed by a short Author’s Note, though.

~A/N~ Hey guys! This is my first Slenderman fanfic and I’m really excited to finally post a fic about Slenderman.

Yeah, we know just how “excited” you are.

I know Slenderman seems really OOC in this fic,

:snorts:

No shit. This is another one of those fics where an author has taken a character’s name and slapped it on an OC that only superficially resembles the canon character.

but I was thinking about doing another one with the same plot, but Slenderman is more…aggressive.

More aggressive than breaking into a girl’s home while she’s alone and assaulting her? Now I’m really glad the companion fic doesn’t exist.

More intimidating.

That wouldn’t be too hard; I own house slippers more intimidating than this version of The Slender Man. And he really should be scary; he’s a confessed killer who cannibalizes children and sexually assaulted this girl twice. But he’s more creepy than anything else.

The fic might have a possible lemon in it so you may enjoy that if you like a dominating Slendy.

Based just on what I’ve read in this fic I don’t think the author has had much experience with the physical side of relationships, so I can only imagine what a lemon scene featuring a domineering Slender Man would be like. Mostly likely it would be packed with clichés and tropes pulled from other lemon fics.

However, the fic may be dark. So if you don’t like that kind of stuff the you might not want to read it.

Are you really tacking on an Author’s Note to this fic for a fic that doesn’t even exist? That’s a new one for me.

Also, anyone see the anything referring to Harry Potter in this fic.

You mean the cat named Padfoot? The name is a reference to Sirius Black’s Animagus form, but that Padfoot was a dog. There are actual cats in the series whose names would have made more sense, like Mrs. Norris or Crookshanks.

The first once to tell me will get the second story dedicated to them!

So the reward for spotting a very obvious reference is to have a lemon fic featuring a dominating Slender Man dedicated to you? No, thanks.

Read and Review please! :)

~ Jade

At the time of this writing there are fifty-one reviews for this fic; however, they seem to be evenly divided between the standard “OMG I LUV dis!” comments and people pointing out that the cat’s name is the Harry Potter reference. I guess a lot of people want to have a Slender Man lemon dedicated to them even though the author stated that she would only be dedicating the future fic to the first person to spot the reference. Considering the fic was posted back in 2013 (along with a handful of other incomplete fics that all have single chapters) and there was no more activity on the account until 2016 when the author posted a ten chapter Halloween Romance fic, I think it’s safe to say the promised Slender Man lemon has been abandoned. But stranger things have happened.

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94 Comments on “1785: His Inamorata: Light and Dark – Oneshot”

  1. SC says:

    His Inamorata: Light and Dark

    Says dictionary, “inamorata” is “one’s female lover.”

    COMMENCE THE PRETENTIOUSNESS

  2. SC says:

    Jade woke, startled

    I find that hard to believe.

    Look at that face. Is that smug-ass expression the look of a startled individual?

  3. SC says:

    Of course, if this is an analog clock (assuming anyone still uses those)

    *SC sits silently as Westminster Quarters sound off from the mantle in the living room*

  4. SC says:

    You can thank Herr for this slice of Nightmare Fuel, I take no credit for it.

    Good ol’ Junji Ito, giving form to my darkest fears for shits and giggles.

  5. SC says:

    Jade was beyond mad She was pissed. Her fear turned into hatred when he started to mention the things he had done.

    Well, if the saying holds, fear leads to anger, anger leads to hatred, hatred leads to suffering. So we’re almost at Sith mode, says Yoda.

  6. SC says:

    for me to feed off a child’s innocence, I either have to eat their heart fresh from their body or I kiss them.

    …Huh.

    *SC curiously hefts the Large Tome of Demonology onto the desk, which promptly shatters into splinters; a moment of page-flipping passes*

    …Nope, it’s not in the book. That shit ain’t kosher.

    • GhostCat says:

      And there’s not any sort of middle option, like an uncomfortable creepy-uncle hug or something, it has to be one of those two extremes. And for some reason Slender Man just picked the most brutal of the two.

      • SC says:

        Either I need to update the Demonology Tome…

        *The floor gives way and the Large Tome of Demonology drops into the ninja lounge, landing on a kotatsu loaded with snacks and startling a kunoichi book club in progress*

        …Or Slenderman needs to go back to Unspeakable Horror School.

      • SC says:

        Hang on, gotta fish the Tome out first…

        *SC dons a poncho and lowers a fishing line into the hole, whilst being pelted mercilessly with butter and icy senbon*

      • Hey!

        We’re a culture, not a costume!

  7. AdmiralSakai says:

    It always kind of freaks me out when I look at a clock and it’s exactly on the hour or half-past. It’s just weird considering that, statistically speaking, it’s far more likely (two out of sixty or 3.33%) that the clock would be on any other time except exactly on the hour or half past.

    Well, consider how many times you look at a clock in general.

  8. AdmiralSakai says:

    She tucked herself back under her covers and layed her head on the pillow. The coolness of the fabric seemed to make her more tired and wanting to fall asleep faster. She brushed her cheek against the pillow before she closed her eyes.

    Let me guess – it’s not going to work.

    Five minutes passed…Ten…fifteen…twenty…twenty five…

    :yawns:

    She might not be tired, but I’m bored out of my skull.

    “This is useless! I am never going to fall asleep!” Jade exclaimed exhaustedly.

    This looks like a job for….

    JEFF THE KILLER!

  9. AdmiralSakai says:

    He would scare the younger children by telling false tales of monsters that loved under your bed,


    Ew.

  10. AdmiralSakai says:

    “I am not going to deny the things that I have done in the past. Yes, I have killed people, children mostl-”

    “Innocent children!” Jade interrupted and pushed away from him.

    Well that’s a bit of an assumption on Jade’s part.

  11. AdmiralSakai says:

    Slenderman pulled Jade against him tightly loving the warmth that radiated off her body.

    :THWACK!:

    BAD TOUCH!

    He’s enjoying her warmth? That just sounds so creepy after the whole “I feed off youth!” thing.

    No, actually this all makes perfect sense. Slenderman is related to the ponies from Fall To Equestria!

    • AdmiralSakai says:

      Jade eagerly took the opportunity to wrap her arms around his neck and bring him loser.

      I rest my case.

    • GhostCat says:

      In the Secret Clubhouse FPM suggested that Slender Man could possibly be a cat; she might be on to something given that he’s only interested in Jade’s body warmth, likes basking in bright lights, and wants someone who will worship him unquestioningly.

  12. AdmiralSakai says:

    Jade wanted to wrap her arms around his neck but he was too tall that she wasn’t able to reach far enough.

    How is that even possible if his head is at the same level as hers?

  13. BatJamags says:

    Topic: Slender: The Eight Pages

    Another one? How many of these things are there?

  14. BatJamags says:

    At a time when some people are just getting to bed.

    Seven o’clock has always been a pretty reasonable wake-up time for me. For the requisite seven hours of sleep, that means going to bed at midnight. And I, being the intelligent person I am, sometimes stay up to two in the morning. So waking up at eleven thirty isn’t exactly a disaster.

    • GhostCat says:

      I get up at five for work so I try to get to bed on work-nights somewhere between ten and ten-thirty; the operative word being “try” since it’s usually later than that. (Occasionally much later.)

      • SC says:

        Well, let me put it this way:

        You know when I have work because it’s a coin toss if I’ll show up here. Retail work hours, see.

        You know when I don’t have work when I’m still awake beyond 7 AM of the following day before finally passing out.

  15. BatJamags says:

    Always at the office, barley having any time to spend with their fifteen-year-old daughter.

  16. BatJamags says:

    People in suits scared her. Bald men scared her. Tall men scared her. Even the Hitman character scared her and her wasn’t even real!

    Because she got told a scary story once. Riiiiiiiight.

    • GhostCat says:

      And the scary story was apparently about monsters living under beds, not The Slender Man. It would be like someone telling you a story warning you about people stealing your kidneys while you are on vacation that made you triple-bolt your own door against burglars.

    • SC says:

      Even the Hitman character scared her

      Someone has not seen Agent 47 play the drums.

  17. BatJamags says:

    Slamming the door with a loud bang,

    Damn, I missed. I need to give the Door launcher a tune-up.

  18. BatJamags says:

    Eh, no matter.

    Wow, even the narrator’s getting bored.

  19. BatJamags says:

    Getting hit repeatedly with a threshing tool would probably make him think twice about abducting and/or murdering her.

    That or the attempt to fend him off would result in total flailure.

  20. AdmiralSakai says:

    Her tongue danced an erotic dance with Slenderman’s.

  21. BatJamags says:

    Slenderman

    By the way, author, it’s “the Slender Man.” He’s not a superhero.

  22. BatJamags says:

    He watched as she stood in front of him, fists clenched and eyes seething sith a fire that dwelled within her.

    Well, shit. Alright, somebody distract Crunchy, and I’ll get some Jedi or something in here to deal with this.

  23. AdmiralSakai says:

    Slenderman took a step back waiting for IT to happen.

    You can’t wait for I.T. to just happen, you have to file a support ticket with a problem description using the website.

  24. AdmiralSakai says:

    Jade was panting with hard want and soon felt empty without the hold of Slenderman.

    Girl, you need a hobby. And possibly some Seroquel to stabilize those mood swings.

    Or possibly a vibrator.

  25. BatJamags says:

    Romance should not make you picture a dog trying to get peanut butter out of an almost empty jar.

    This is why back when my family had a dog, we would always cut our empty peanut butter jars in half.

    But also that video is adorable.

    • GhostCat says:

      I spent close to an hour looking at “pugs with peanut butter” videos on YouTube; they all make this little snorty noise that just made me giggle. I even sent one of this cute little pug that kept hitting itself in the eye with its tongue to Angie while we were messenging about something totally unrelated.

  26. BatJamags says:

    He felt like he was on a high and Jade was the drug he was addicted to.

    Goddammit, author, warn us about the POV whiplash!

  27. BatJamags says:

    And bit off her nose so they could match.

  28. BatJamags says:

    faith

  29. BatJamags says:

    Jade instantly melted in his arms.

  30. BatJamags says:

    He’s not going to try to wear her skin as a dress, is he?

    *Brings up YouTube*

    You know what? I don’t have time for this. Let’s assume I posted a clip from Silence of the Lambs.

  31. agigabyte says:

    —WARNING: CONTAINS POSSIBLE TRIGGER MATERIAL—

    —AND WAY TOO MANY BAD TOUCHES—

    —NSFW/NSFC—

    Skips to Comment Section

    Nope. Ain’t touching that with a ten-foot pole.

  32. Delta XIII says:

    In other news, rain is damp.

  33. Why do they keep misspelling fate as faith?

  34. Swenia says:

    He would scare the younger children by telling false tales of monsters that loved under your bed

    *Stands outside of the riffing chamber with a boombox blasting porno music held over her head*

  35. TacoMagic says:

    Does he? Sure, The Slender Man is a menacing figure and he does do something to his victims, but I don’t think it’s ever stated (in the video games at least) that he straight-up murders them. Their fate is left ambiguous.

    My favorite interpretation is that Slender Man is actually a metaphor for growing up, which is why he only preys on children and why the children are never seen again rather than having any overt death.

  36. CrunchyRaptor says:

    Good on him for trying, I guess? “Youth” seems like a fairly vague food source so why couldn’t he satisfy himself with a basket of puppies?

    While we are on the topic, somebody’s food dish is only half full.

  37. Swenia says:

    “She lost her mind when she found out she was my mate. She wanted a man that would care for her and protect her. Shower her with gifts and give her small kisses whenever he could.”

    *Snorts*

    Girl, you need to base your identity on something other than what penis or tentacle is currently in your life. At least get a hobby or something.

  38. […] x reader character x character oc x oc Dora of the Rings Star Wars: The Force in Arendelle His Inamorata: Light and Dark SONIC HIGH SCHOOL I don’t want to be alone again! Brego’s Mistress Nina the Killer Parties are […]


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