1780: The Girl – Chapter Ten

Title: The Girl
Author: MRobitussin
Media: Books
Topic: The Outsiders
Genre: Romance
URL: Chapter Ten
Critiqued by Angie and Hiraani

Warning: The Girl is best consumed through your veins. Yes, inject those Socs and Greasers that probably won’t be there. Good. Goooood.

In just a few chapters, we’ll be halfway through this fic. It’s not a huge accomplishment, but it feels good. It feels nice.

So without further ado, let’s dive into….

Chapter 10

Author note:

…an author’s note? Huh. We haven’t gotten one of those in this fic. A day of new beginnings, I guess.

I’d just like to thank everyone for their reviews, I really appreciate them

Aww! That’s so sweet! All of your reviews matter.

It’s just that my review is infinitely more important than anyone on FanFiction.net.

Author note:

…wait, what?

I’d just like to thank everyone for their reviews, I really appreciate them.

*BLARING ALARMS BLARE*

Already? We just started the review!

Also, I know this chapter is a little cut and dry, but I wanted to get in a moment with Riley and Steve before the BIG part happens.

Yeah! The big part!

So enjoy and I promise to get to the climax soon.

I don’t want to read about the climax in either of these stories. *shivers*

Steve:

Marissa just loves a change of pace, huh. I guess it’s nice.

Pointless, but nice.

We were all just sitting around the living room playing poker, when Ponyboy put a halt to it and said he had to call his girlfriend.

Yeah, but…didn’t Riley’s phone get completely wrecked a chapter ago? Isn’t that a thing that happened? Am I going crazy?

I had heard about this Riley from other people and the whole thing seemed rather odd to me. She was middle class and not bad looking, what she want with Ponyboy and why was she staying here?

I get that ‘save my masculinity by saying no homo’ deal, but that’s kind of a rude thing to say to your friend. A friend who is very very cute, and doesn’t look like Joel Madden.

Seemed like she was trying to pull a fast one on my friend and I wasn’t too keen on that.

“Only I’m allowed to be a dick to Ponyboy! Fuck you asshole!”

“Fuck you asshole!” Ponyboy yelled into the phone, making us all turn our heads. “Mother fucker!” He yelled again as he slammed the phone down.

*gasp* Pony, watch your language!

Seriously though. What’s with the language in this fic? As Todd in the Shadows would put it, ‘This is like Kids Bop in bizarro world’.

Cool and calm like always, Darry said “What’s up Pony?”

“He picked up the phone…then it cut out…”

I guess it’s important that we stuff in as much filler as we can. Even if it means restating things that happened in the previous chapter.

Darry got up and grabbed his coat, Two-bit, Soda, and Pony all followed him. I shrugged and got up; wanting to see what was going on.

Maybe let’s not do that. I like that idea more. This is going to end up very very badly.

We drove to a small house in the middle of the city and there on the front porch sat Riley. Ponyboy was the first out and by her side before I even got a foot out of the back of the truck. As I walked up next to Two-bit, all I could hear was Riley saying she was fine.

Look. You’re not. You’re not fine. But if you insist you are, maybe don’t…

“You should get your head checked.” Ponyboy said, putting his arm around her.

..:

Oh, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me.

“Stop Pony…I’m fine.” Riley replied. “You didn’t need to come here.”

“Shit! Then let’s get back, I was about to win.” I said with a laugh.

I don’t even know who I’m most angry at. Is it Riley, who’s denying the help she needs? Is it Ponyboy, who’s frankly being a little manipulative? Or is it Steve, for being a total fucking asshole?

Ponyboy glared at me, but Sodapop step in before Ponyboy could say anything. “Lay off Steve…”

“What? I was just saying…”

Well, damn. Lay off a bit. It’s not like Steve said anything that offensive….

“Well it ain’t funny…” Darry said, giving me the same glare as Pony.

“What the fuck? I was just kidding.” I started to walk back to the truck. “You’d think she got mugged.”

Okay, it’s actually definitely Steve. Antagonised secondary characters is always the way to go when making a bad fic.

“That was yesterday!” Riley yelled at me, making me stop and turn around. “And guarantee there’ll be another tomorrow. Want me to call so you can watch?”

I’ve said it before, I will say it again. Don’t write about mental disorders if you don’t  know jack shit about the topic.

I stood there rather stun, no girl had ever talked to me like that. And what kind of shit was this girl getting in that she was getting beaten up over it?

As much as I admire Riley roasting Steve…come on, it wasn’t that good of a roast.

“We’re going home…” Darry said looking at everyone then to Riley.

She let out a deep sigh and got up. “Yes sir…” She gave him a small smile as she got up with Pony and walked to the truck.

She’s acting like she doesn’t want to leave her dad’s house. Which…Stockholm Syndrome is a thing I guess, but Riley doesn’t show any signs that she has it.

No one said anything the whole ride home. When we got to the house, Riley said she wanted to sit on the porch and smoke. Ponyboy kissed her and walked inside to do dishes.

I stood there till Ponyboy walked in. “I’m gonna call it a night guys.”

You know what that means. Another big brother talk from a guy who has morals less than or equal to the ones Riley has. Why is that becoming a trope?

They all waved as they walked in. I watch them walk in and then truned to Riley. She was sitting on the stone and had just lit a ciggrette.

Marissa, you’re not even trying anymore.

“Look…” I said, glaring at her. “Whatever you’re into, you don’t bring it here. And don’t use these guys for shit or I’ll take care of you, ya dig?”

Riley laughed. “Ya dig? Man that sounds stupid.”

“Listen princess! I ain’t joking! Don’t bring that shit around and don’t use decent people to get your fix! These guys open their home to you!”

As surprised as I am to say this, Steve’s actually right. It’s also what I’ve been saying for the entire goddamn duration of this fic.

She didn’t look at me, just sat there rolling her ciggrette between her fingers and spoke smoothly. “This ain’t about drugs buddy, do don’t talk to me like that. Look this side of town ain’t the only side with problems. Pony and his brothers are helping me out of some problems.”

First of all, do don’t doesn’t even work as an oxymoron.

Second of all, exactly. So why don’t you stay at the Curtis house? Why do you keep returning to your abusive dad?

“Helping you what? Get cleaned?”She laughed. “Shit, you say Darry ain’t got no brain. This ain’t about drugs, Steve. My dad’s a drunk who likes to take shit out on others.”

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/video/news/video-1382755/Mean-dad-throws-present-fire-daughter-gets-sassy.html

To say the least.

I was confused. “Then what about the muggings?”

You know plenty about mugging, Steve. Don’t lie to me.

She laughed again, taking a drag. “Ever hear of a soc called Davis?”

I nodded.

She smiled. “Let’s just say…like father like son.”

Yes! *slams fists on desk* Wait, what?

Oh yeah. Uh. Just in case you were wondering, the point of this was to say that Riley’s brother is a Soc. I had to read the reviews to figure that out.

I was quite for a minute. “You know…you sound a lot like an old friend of ours…”

“Johnny…” She replied softly. “Ponyboy told me all about him…”

I get the feeling that the only reason this is an Outsiders fic is that Marissa needed an ensemble of characters to manipulate to her Mary Sue’s whim, and Outsiders just made the most sense.

Which is lame.

I sat down next to her. “Why do you go back if you know this shit’s gonna happen?”

She turned to me. “For the same reason Johnny always went back…a hope for one day being loved by him and because I don’t want to use these guys.

Don’t act like you know anything about the source material, Marissa. Shut your hell.

I’ve never had people treat me as good as them and I don’t want to abuse my friendship with any of them…” She paused, “Or you dumbass.”

Because judging by the nothing that constitutes a friendship between Steve and Riley, this line makes sense because reasons.

I laughed. “You seem all right to me Riley…just don’t start using drugs…Or eat yellow snow, it’s not as good as they say it is.”

I’m experiencing a little bit of deja vu. Didn’t we already go over this with Darry? Riley doesn’t need validation from everyone ever.

She laughed and smiled a smile that glittered more then any smile I’d ever seen. I smiled back and turned and walked home.

And with that, another annoyingly short chapter of The Girl is finished. See y’all next time!

Advertisements


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s