1757: Fall to Equestria – Chapter Fourteen (Which is really Chapter Twelve)Posted: May 11, 2017
Title: Fall to Equestria
Topic: My Little Pony: FIM
Critiqued by AdmiralSakai and Serketry
While there’s nothing at all explicit for a change, this chapter does contain some potential flamebait in the form of nonconsensual Changeling ‘seduction’ attempts.
Hello hello, all you patrons, and welcome back to the horror that is Fall of Equestria.
Last time Loser Martin got into a pretty explicit ‘massage’ with Aloe and Lotus…
And racked up a bunch more sexual favors…
… then had the ‘pleasure’ of finding Princess Luna sleeping ontop of him like the world’s largest, pointiest housecat before someone or something
Wasn’t me! (Though I wish it was…)
finally did what we’ve all been wanting to do since Chapter One and knocked him out cold.
Bad touch counter: 47
He woke up in a room with green slime and a mattress, and that brings us to Chapter Twelve, “Understanding the misunderstood”.
The entire room was covered in slime, slippery slime.
And alliteration… awkward, annoying alliteration.
From all the fimfictions that I’ve red I somewhat know where I am.
Oh for Pete’s sake! Is Loser a fan of the show or isn’t he?!
Or did he start looking up facts on the show on his iPhone after he fell into Equestria?
Or is doomboom actually a bigger fan of shitty fanfic than of the show itself?
I manage to slowly walk to one of the torches so that I can use it to my advantage. I looked around and saw a basic wooden door at the other side of the room.
Good thing he brought a Ph test kit with him?
Using the wall to help me walk I made my way to the door. It seems this room is one of the many rooms of this long corridor which was only lit by torches as well. Squinting my eyes to see better in the poorly lit corridor, I scouted to see if there is any changeling patrolling.
Ok Loser, YOU know the plot but, let’s say you had a reader who didn’t know what was going on. You just killed any suspense, crushing any chance of describing the horrific, perforated, black-carapaced insectoid equines to give them the entrance they deserve.
I did not see any movements in both right and left. I randomly decided to go right hoping that I did not take the wrong way. With only my torch as my weapon, I couldn’t do much damage
1d3 plus str plus 1 fire, according to the SRD.
Not bad, actually.
but it was still better than nothing. I silently walked this long corridor while passing by many other wooden doors nether of them I opened. I did not want to blow my cover by pure curiosity.
You are carrying a lit torch. Unless you think Changelings are blind, they’ll know you’re there before they hear you.
As I walked I could hear more and more voices, screams, cheers. Eventually I was able to see a new light source, a window. When I walked to the window what I saw has only brought more fear into my heart. In a massif room with what looks like emerald chandeliers lighting up the room.
Is this… setting?
And yes, those are three of the four Princesses sedated in the tubes next to her. You do not fuck around with the big black bug.
close to her throne, was preaching to her entire army of changelings
This fic is oddly prophetic, suddenly. I don’t know how I feel about that.
No, don’t you get it? The baby-wipe ending of the S6 finale makes perfect sense now- the ‘fic has taken over the source material!!
of how they have found a creature which has an industrial amount of love and that it can power her army with to take her revenge on princess Cadence.
Yeah, she’s been there and done that.
Didn’t help much in the long run, though.
Is the creature she is talking about was me? Do I wave that much love in me?
I’d prefer not to think of Loser waving his love around, thank you very much.
And she was going to use me to bring destruction! I can’t accept that.
“Nobody destroys the lives of ponies but me, you got that?”
I have to do something before it’s too late. Good thing that the window does not have glass to stop my plan. I brought all my courage inside me and screamed.
-You won’t be able to do anything if I refuse to give you any of my love.
That’s your plan?
You… uh… do realize that the whole point of Changelings is that they can drain love forcibly, right?
Nothin’ to see here, folks. Just some consensual giving of the love stuff.
(Also, once again, Friendship is METAL.)
Loser, you were doing so well. You were free, you had an improvised weapon, and all of your captors were off celebrating their victory and not patrolling the hive. You actually had a shot at escaping. And this is what you do with it???
Silence filled the room as all the changelings looked at me with surprise.
-H-How did you break free? Asked Chrysalis.
“The door was unlocked.”
“Oh, not again…”
An elder looking changeling approached her.
-I can explain that my queen. I am part of the examination crew and I discovered that that creature can increase its body heat
Fuck OFF with the body heat shtick! And these things are zombie plant bugs, WHY WOULD THEY NEED HEAT?!?
significantly which must of caused the bindings to melt against his warm skin.
Oh. Wait… A horse’s normal body temperature is 99 – 101 F. Humans run at 98.6. Shouldn’t the goop chambers fail to hold anypony?
Or did they restrain him with gallium and taffy?
-And it’s now you tell me!
-it was just a theory before my queen.
“And you idiots couldn’t have splurged for a rope to tie him up with?”
“We didn’t, like, check to see if his restraints would hold or anything… Really, ever since Thorax showed up we’ve kind of all been hemorrhaging IQ points left and right.”
I started to hear hissing behind me. I turned around to see three changelings with their horns lit and ready to strike aimed at me.
Well that went about as well as could be expected.
Cold sweats were almost dripping off me.
His body temperature is low! Strike now while the anvil is… cold!
-Bring him to my room. I need to talk with it.
Chrysalis needs to talk with her room?
Chrysalis voice echoed in the room which caused the menacing horns of the changelings stopped glowing but they are still aimed at me. The changelings muttered something I couldn’t understand before pushing me towards must be the chrysalis’s room. Her door is larger and darker than the others. The guards opened the door with their magic and pushed me inside the room. The first thing I see was the luxurious bed in the middle of the circular room with Luna on it. Does she think that will actually work?
It might’ve it you hadn’t read the script ahead of time.
Wait, how did Chrysalis even manage to pull this off? She was in the throne room when she ordered the guards to bring him to her room, and they took him directly there. How is she already inside and transformed?
Wait, can Chrysalis do that? I thought she had to fly everywhere?
Haven’t you heard?
Updated horn firmware. Everypony is teleporting about, nowadays.
Fucking Internet of Things…
I walked to the bed and sat on it, that’s when I saw a bottle on a coffee table. When I looked closer at the bottle but the dim light gave me a hard time to see the inscriptions.
-Its dandelion wine. Want some? She said in Luna’s voice.
That’s… actually an interesting addition to the world. I approve of this.
I sight. –I know it’s you chrysalis under that pony mask.
What even is the purpose of this? She’s tricking him into thinking she’s Luna so that… what? He’ll transfer love to her, something only Changelings are capable of receiving and the real Luna has no reason to want?
-You are smarter than you look.
Although to be fair that is setting the bar awfully low.
She said as she burst in a ball of green fire to turn back to her original form.
Is she implying that I look stupid?
Extremely, profoundly so!
The fact that you had to ask just proves her point.
I she is trying to make me like her, she is doing a horrible job.
Well she’s in good company.
Suddenly, my body was lifted by magic and I was thrown back down on the bed. Next thing I know is that I was lying on my back with chrysalis on top of me. Her eyes were filled with lust and she was licking her lips with appetite.
Oh. Ok. So we’re going here, now. While this wouldn’t be too out of place for a succubus or in any other form, we’ve seen how she drains people. It isn’t like this.
Bad touch counter: 48
She’s a bug– I don’t even think she has the right bits to enjoy a night in with her prisoners if she wanted to.
I was able to feel her warmth through my clothing.
Again, she’s a zombie/insect/plant hybrid, none of which are known for their warmth.
Am I going to have to increment the Bad Touch Counter on behalf of the laws of thermodynamics?
I have to think of something before I lose myself to this lust. I know that I can’t overpower her; her magic will bring me back to the bed. I was too far from the wine bottle to be able to smash it on her head and she would get angry that may cause a painful experience to me. I had one choice left; it was risky but it was better than nothing.
-Is this what you really want! Do you want to be forced to take love for the rest of your life? Do you want to be known as the unloved? I screamed
“Do you want to become… exactly the same thing that you already are?”
The alternative is sugary and far, far worse.
She stopped her advances as tears started to appear in her eyes.
Well that was quick.
She slowly got of me and sat at the edge of the bed.
-You..you may leave.
She was now crying a river. I knew that my words were brutal and that they were going to hurt her.
Yes, I know this came ou- WAIT A MINUTE! This was published December 2014! The Return of Queen Chrysalis arc ended in February 2013. He should know by now that you don’t fuck around with the big black bug! She is literally made of evil and pony corpses!
That, and this won’t be the first time she’s pretended to have a mental breakdown to goad soft-hearted heroes into a major tactical blunder.
If this actually ends with Chrysalis power-slamming him into a wall, beating the tar out of him, then taking to the skies with her horde to feed on the unsuspecting populace, I will take back every negative thing I’ve said about this fic.
Time to fix what I have started.
I started to rub her back
Bad touch counter: 49
More massages?! NOOOOOOOOooooooo
Can I just get a Changeling to come drain my literacy?
Maybe not a Changeling, but your wish can be arranged…
No, never mind, then I’d probably just start writing Human-in-Equestria ‘fics.
–You still haven’t answered my questions.
She turned to stare at me with eyes filled with both anger and sadness.
-Of course I don’t want that! She screamed at me.
No means no, Loser Martin!
I grabbed her hoof and held it tightly in my hands.
Bad touch counter: 50
She made no movement to pull away; she just stared I my hands warming her hoof. –then what is stopping you to change your ways?
-The ponies. They always fight us back and ran away from us like we had some type of disease. I am a queen and I have an entire kingdom to feed.
Gosh, maybe it has something to do with the part where you were responsible for the fall of multiple entire civilizations throughout their history!!!
That said, had Loser not read the cliffnotes beforehand, this might’ve been a good ploy to get him to lower his defences.
What defences? He only got out the first time because her guards restrained him in flash paper!
There is no redemption for Queen Chrysalis because she’s been evil since the day she crawled from the charnel pit that spawned her. This is the order of things. Winona goes ‘bark’, cows go ‘moo’, Celestia has friends, and Crysalis is fucking evil!
Could a complex, well-rounded character gain her respect and guide her down a more reasonable path?
Maybe. Could she find a common enemy to fight alongside the ponies and other good guys?
Does she just need a hug and someone to understand her inner pain?
Yes? Wait, I mea-
Her tears were now flowing like rivers on her cheeks. She must have been holding her sadness for quite a long time. –I tried so hard to get so far but in the end it doesn’t even matter.
Where did I hear that? It seems that she was no evil, just misunderstood. Anyway I think I know how to fix all this.
You can start by deleting the story.
First, let’s try to calm her down.
I stretched my arms wide and called her name. When she saw that I was inviting her to a hug, she just threw herself into my arms and cried in my shoulder.
Bad touch counter: 51
This guy really is a piss-poor therapist. He’s turned the genocidal ruler of a tribe of bandit bugs into the genocidal ruler of a tribe of bandit bugs suffering from major depression.
But think of the business opportunity! He’ll always have clients!
He’ll also always have lawsuits.
We stayed like that for a couple of minutes before she broke the hug. That is when I grabbed her face and looked directly into her eyes.
Bad touch counter: 52
–I think I know how to fix all this.
Yes, we heard you the first time!
I got off the bed under chrysalis’s confused gaze and opened the door. When the door was opened a massif ray of magic blasted in front of making me freeze in place. Screams of pain and loud explosions was able to be heard from the room. Suddenly Celestia entered the room with her horn lit up and her face corrupted by wrath.
Well, that’s certainly one way to fix your angsty-Changeling problem…
Well this is gonna bring back some painful memories. I guess we can add PTSD to the mix of psychological torments Loser has inflicted.
I wonder if she tastes like fried locust?
-Now you have brought it to far chrysalis. I allowed you to stay alive after the invasion incident but now; taking the first individual to treat me like a friend!
I’m gonna let this dead horse lie. So to speak.
The whole “vowing to destroy pony civilization… again” bit might also have something to do with it.
This time there is no running away.
She blasted the unprepared changeling with a beam of magic. I just had enough time to throw myself in the path of the attack, receiving the massif blow.
Did he just…take a bullet for the big black bug?
Give him a helmet, that’s command material right there!
You know, Loser, Queen Chrysalis is one of the extremely few creatures in Equestria that actually has the ability to go up against a full-powered blast from the Princess of the Sun and come right back for more. You, on the other hoof…
The attack was so strong that my body flew across the room. I’ve rolled on the floor in pain as chrysalis came up to me to see if I was alright. Celestia was frozen in place with a shocked expression on her face. She did not know what to do.
“Durrr… let’s see here… is this the part where I hit the demon-bug with everything I have? Or the part where I let this happen again?”
(This show is so friggin awesome.)
I painfully got myself up with chrysalis’s help
Is now really the time for boners?
as she was thanking me saving her from that blast. My chest hurt so much and I was spitting blood on the floor.
That was a blast intended for the Queen of the Changelings! How the fuck are you still in one piece?
Stu powers: Activate!
I asked chrysalis to help me get near Tia, she protested saying that I need my injuries to be healed before. I calmly looked at her and smiled even my entire was starting to get even more painful by the second.
Yeah, I hate it when I hurt my entire.
We both slowly walked to the frozen princess. Once next to her, I brought my hand to her cheek which caused her to look at me.
Bad touch counter: 53
Doing my best to hide the pain in my face I spoke to her with a gentle yet wavy voice.
-Do you see wear anger has brought you? Pain will only bring more pain.
And SUDDENLY JEDI.
-I..I am so sorry. Tears were now rolling down her cheeks.
That is when I’ve lost all strength in my legs. I have prepared myself for more pain yet it did not come.
Much like the Stu.
Both the princess and the queen have caught me before I hit the floor with their magic. Soon after I was on the bed with them at each of my side (Tia was at my right and Chrysalis was at my left). I was still not finished with what I needed to do. I looked at Celestia.
-Please give chrysalis another chance.
“I know it’s, like, her eighth time feigning redemption and everything, but I promise this one is totes legit for reasons that have nothing to do with my inexplicably wanting to bang her.”
I know what she did in the past
No, you don’t. Your cliffnotes are out of date, Loser.
was bad but at the time she had no other choice. You above all other ponies know how difficult it is to take care of ones kingdom.
“I mean, granted, a plurality of those difficulties were Chrysalis’s fault, but…
I’m not helping my case here, am I?”
So please, help her feed her people.
Yesssss… Let the Changelingsss feeeeeed…
What could possibly go wrong?
I was not even able to hear her answer. My vision got blurry as my eyes started to get heavy.
Was her answer is a speech bubble?
That was when I saw the massif amount of blood on my chest. It seems that I have received more than just internal injuries. I wasn’t able to hear anything as my vision got darker and darker.
And he couldn’t see anything over the constant ringing in his ears?
What will happen? Will I die there?
I can only hope.
A smiled appeared unconsciously on my face as I thought of the adventures I had here in this world. Everything happened so fast.
-Well. It was fun while it lasted. I said barely conscious.
No, it really wasn’t.
I was able hear the vague screams of the two girls besides me
One of those ‘girls’ is a diarch of the most powerful nation in the world, and the other is basically perdition incarnate.
but they sounded to be so far. I finally fell in a deep sleep. What will happen now?
The next chapter will be that last one of this series so don’t worry there is still some things I wanted to add.
What, are we going to find out next time that King Sombra just got the entire Crystal Empire really into consensual BDSM? That Tirek was just consuming everypony’s magic to clean it?
Wait, that wasn’t what happened?
Sadly, as this chapter turned out to be absolutely massive and the one after it is even longer, we will have to wait until next week to find out.