1722: Subnautica The Novel (Chapter Bundle 4 is out!) – Chapter 2

 

Title: Subnautica The Novel (Chapter Bundle 4 is out!)
Author: CrashBurnGlobal
Media: Video Game
Topic: Subnautica
Genre: Adventure/Mystery
URL Chapter 2
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

 

Hello, dear Patrons!

Welcome back to more Subnautical shenanigans; in the last cluster-chapter we met Dumbass, who spent several days alone in a lifepod before venturing out for a little sightseeing. Upon returning to the lifepod, Dumbass discovered that it was a different lifepod and was promptly bashed over the head, bound to a ladder, and threatened with a knife by the occupant. They are now besties and have built a base together. However, they have left the base in a Cyclops, which had not one but TWO dramatic reveals in a cave hidden by vegetation, and are now tootling around in the Void somewhere. Oh, and Crazy Casey managed to cobble together a two-seater Seamoth while they were onboard the Cyclops despite the fact that there would be no way for that to have happened.

And now to pick up where we left off!

Chapter 7: The Grand Reef

EXACTLY where we left off; the last chapter-bundle ended with a stray scene tag/ chapter title.

As soon as we dropped into the ocean, it was all black.

From what I remember, you two are in the jury-rigged Seamoth – maybe you should turn on the lights.

The crumpling of the hull was able to be heard.

:headdesk:

I know Crazy Casey said they didn’t have the upgrade modules yet, but this is supposed to be like a test drive to take the thing out for a little spin. Didn’t either of these idiots bother to check what depth they were at?

“This isn’t good.” Casey said worriedly. I shivered at the thought of danger. “This thing can’t go too deep, it’s way past its crush depth!”

So … that would be a “no” then?

An unmodified Seamoth is only safe up until two hundred meters and there are numerous warnings – both from the Seamoth’s AI and the depth gauge displayed on the HUD as well as that ominous ‘crumpling’ noise – before you reach that stage. I think you can technically dock the Seamoth in the Cyclops and take it below its safe depth, but I’ve never done that because it pointless to have it down where I can’t use it (plus I’m not entirely sure it won’t implode while inside the Cyclops and I really don’t want to find out if that can happen through first-hand experience because I WORKED HARD FOR THAT SEAMOTH, DAMMIT!)

Water started squirting through the walls, as the miniature submarine was getting crushed by the pressure of the ocean. “I can’t pull it up! We’re gonna crash!” As soon as she said that, we hit the seabed.

I guess Crazy Casey isn’t as good at “modifying” Seamoths as she thought she was.

Sand flew all around us, but strangely, it wasn’t a soft landing. The clanks, and scraping sound of metal could be heard once we hit the floor. “What was that?!” Casey said, scrambling to get of the half submerged sub. “I dunno” I said, “But we should get out of here!”

That’s the first intelligent thing Dumbass has said.

The metal scraping sound wouldn’t be that unusual; they could have hit some crash debris, or an ore deposit, or even just an ordinary rock. Depending on how compacted the ground is and how hard they hit it, that could have done the trick. The Seamoth is metal so if it scraped against something it would naturally make a metallic sound.

We both managed to get out of the hatch before the small sub IMPLODED on itself.

:inarticulate growls of rage:

I’m wondering if the author is one of those players who just spawns stuff in using console commands – I have nothing against that kind of player, but unless you’ve spent the hours it takes to gather the resources to make something like a Seamoth (which these two should have done since you can’t spawn items into a real-world scenario) you aren’t really going to appreciate it as much since you can just get another one by typing in a command.

And what is the deal with RANDOMLY capitalizing words for EMPHASIS?

We both swam toward the cyclops hatch, and managed to get in before our oxygen tanks were depleted. “AHHHH!” Casey shouted, and stomped off to the upper deck.

Dude, this is your own damn fault! You heavily modified a vessel and then immediately dropped it into a high pressure environment before doing any kind of tests on it. Of course it was going to fail catastrophically.

Something was pacing in my head. “Why was there a metal scraping when we hit the seafloor?” I spoke to myself.

Because the sub you were in was made of metal and it hit something?

I let my oxygen tank refill, and I jumped through the hatch.

In the game your oxygen meter will automatically refill any time you’re inside a powered vehicle or base, but that’s probably so the player doesn’t have to deal with constantly changing air canisters or have to think about removing a mouthpiece when they enter an environment with air and then replacing it before going back in the water. It makes sense as a way to streamline gameplay, but I don’t think it would make for a very realistic scenario.

The sea floor was littered with seamoth wreckage, but something was sticking out of the sand, it looked like a robotic hand. For some reason, it look too familiar.

Anyone else hoping this is a T-850?

I dug around in the sand, and there it was. A P.R.A.W.N suit. My P.R.A.W.N suit.

Hey, I know what that is! Based on my prior experience with this fic (and fics in general) I imagine the author is just going to assume that anyone reading this will know exactly what a Pressure Re-Active Waterproof Nanosuit (Mk.III) looks like and thus will just use the name and not bother describing it at all.

They look like this, although you can customize the colors with the Vehicle Upgrade Bay.

I’m not entirely sure what Dumbass means by “my P.R.A.W.N suit”; it’s possible that this is the suit they were assigned to use on board the crashed ship, or that it was a part their own personal luggage. Whatever the meaning, the odds that these two would stumble across gear personally owned and/or used by Dumbass at some random location and unknown distance from the crash site are mind-boggling.

Chapter 8: The Fun Begins

Yay, another scene tag/ chapter title. I see this is going to continue to be a thing.

I dug around in the sand more and more until I unearthed the hatch. It opened and i climbed inside.

You and about fifty pounds of sand, water, and marine life.

As i climbed inside the system was re-booting, and all the water that leaked inside was drained. “Welcome aboard captain, all systems online.” The P.R.A.W.N’s artificial intelligence inside the contraption greeted me.

:headdesk:

It impacted the ground – after passing through who-knows-how-much water, which my limited knowledge of physics tells me would be very difficult – with enough force to completely bury itself and it still remains functional?

Bullshit. So. MUCH. Bullshit.

The suit positioned itself to walk on the floor, after being sprawled out beneath the sand.”

:scoops up random quotation marks:

Don’t worry, little guys, I’ll find you a good home.

So not only was it buried under the sand (without creating an impact crater) but it was buried horizontally. And Dumbass managed to free it all by their lonesome?

:points to picture:

Do you see how frickin’ big that thing is?

I’ve noticed a bit of a perspective problem with the game, though; things look much smaller than they really are because you can’t really tell how big something is unless you use a known object for a size reference. Let me show you what I mean; here is a picture of  my P.R.A.W.N. suit parked at the base of the Cove Tree.

It’s the little purple spot.

 

That purple spot.

I had no idea the Cove Tree was that massive, it just didn’t look that big.

It’s pretty, though.

I used the jets on the bottom of the suit and floated up to the docking bay in the cyclops.

Pffft! The jets on the exosuit are crap and the controls are balky at best; I don’t know anyone who can manage a perfect docking procedure every time. It’s far more likely that Dumbass would ram into the side and/or keel of the Cyclops a few times before managing it.

When the suit was docked, I climbed out of the hatch, and shouted “CASEY I GOT A SURPRISE!” She emerged from the bridge, and gasped in astonishment. “Is that what i think it is?” she said. “Mm Hmmm! I haven’t seen much alterra tech, but these I’m familiar with.”

You’re not seeing much of it now; if she was in the bridge and he climbed out of the hatch, then the only visible part would be what you could see through the open hatch and the glass panels.

This is the view of the interior as seen from the doorway leading to the bridge, and this is also the largest usable space inside the Cyclops.

This is actually a very sparse interior; most players load this area up with grow beds or an aquarium so they can have food “on the go”. Whomever took this screenshot probably has those lockers full, and likely has more lockers built on every available space inside the sub. This is why I find the idea of Crazy Casey building her extra-large Seamoth inside the Cyclops so ridiculous. How would she ever get it out?

She started to say something, but the cyclops violently shook, knocking both of us to the ground.

Floor.

We both ran up to the bridge, and checked the cyclops cameras.

You’re on the same level as the bridge; there’s no “up” to run to.

On all three cameras, there were multiple bulbous squid like creatures hitting the cyclops.

Well, that was unexpected. Are you sure you didn’t run into some Creepvine or Blood Kelp?

Creepvine, which isn’t all that creepy.

 

Blood Kelp, which is substantially more creepy.

Because I don’t really know of any squid-like creatures that would attach themselves to the Cyclops. There’s Floaters, but they aren’t exactly dangerous.

This Floater is hitching a ride on my Cyclops; I named him Bob. He’s my squishy glow-buddy.

 

“Do you know what this means.” I said nervously.

No. Do you?

Casey looked to me, and said this with a long face. “I hate seeing animals killed, especially for food, but if we have to live, i give you permission.”

Umm, why does Dumbass need your permission to save both of your lives? And didn’t you just serve Dumbass a cooked Spadefish before you stupidly got your Seamoth imploded?  Besides, I would hope killing animals for food would be more acceptable than just killing things for shits and giggles.

I ran over to the hatch in the middle room, climbed into the P.R.A.W.N, and was dropped into the ocean.

If the Cyclops is covered in these creatures, how did the bay doors open? They make up about a third of the ship’s keel so if they are covered by these creatures it would take a lot to force them open.

I used the jets to float up to the cyclops,

:snorts:

Doubtful.

and i started using the poseable limbs,

Is this an exosuit or an action figure?

and punched the creatures.

I bet Dumbass made the “Pow!” noises while doing so.

They let go, and screeched in pain. One by one they all freed their grip of the cyclops, and left in different directions.

Well, that was pointless. I guess there was a need to immediately show off the exosuit because Rule of Cool.

“Logan, are you there? You got some explaining to do! Get back to the cyclops and dock that P.R.A.W.N suit.” Casey said through the machine. I climbed down from the top of the cyclops, and went in the docking bay.

How convenient that their only other vehicle imploded, thus freeing up the Cyclops’ single docking bay, just before they found this exosuit.

Chapter 9: A Mystery, or a Coincidence?

Don’t know, don’t care; it’s probably not going to make any sense any way.

We sat back in our seabase, the cyclops outside, waiting for us to return.

Transitions? Wat dose? And doesn’t Crazy Casey like to keep the Cyclops in a cave hidden by vegetation so she can do a dramatic reveal each time she takes the sub out?

Casey kept scolding me for being dumb, and not knowing anything I’m supposed to work with.

I don’t completely understand that sentence, but I don’t blame Crazy Casey for calling you stupid, Dumbass.

Did Crazy Casey really wait until they got all the way back to the base before having this conversation? That must have been an awkward ride; I’d be praying for a Reaper attack to break the tension. And while I agree that Dumbass is dumb, I fail to see how acquiring a useful (if cumbersome) piece of tech is a bad thing. Sure it was a totally implausible scenario that made absolutely no frickin’ sense, but now that they have it they should get some use out of it.

“I was raised on a farm, alright?” I would say ” My father bought a P.R.A.W.N suit so we could use it for the farm. He even made his own arm for it to help on the fields.”

Wait, what?

The P.R.A.W.N suit is designed for exploration and mining in space and deep-sea environments; it is NOT a farm implement. What the hell kind of farm do you have that you need a frickin’ pressure-reactive mecha to work it?

But she always replied with “If you know what a P.R.A.W.N is, then i am pretty sure you know what this is.” She pulled out a weird device, with a test tube at the top of the device.

Does she have several devices like this? Because ‘always’ implies that she did this an numerous points during their discussion.

“I have no clue” I said, but she didn’t believe me.

:pat-pat:

Don’t worry, Dumbass; I believe you when you say you don’t know anything.

“It’s a DNA transfuser stupid. Used to sample DNA, and put into another creature or human.

Those are a thing, but they haven’t been fully implemented in the game yet. There’s a passing reference that you can pick up from an audio transcript when you’re on the Aurora; it’s part of a conversation between two crew members discussing the (probably illegal) transfuser one of them recently purchased. One mentions that they have one at home for messing around “turning the neighbor’s dog blue, stuff like that” but that’s really all that’s available right now in the regular game. It will likely play a part in creating the cure for the carar, but like I said – things haven’t progressed that far yet. (I think you can spawn one in via console commands, but I don’t know if it actually works.)

Observe.” She held out a bladder fish, and a spadefish.

Who are probably both dead if they’ve been sitting around inside the base for all this time.

She stabbed the spadefish, with the transfuser, and stole some of it’s blue blood, and injected it into the bladder fish’s body. It immediately turned blue, and grew scales.

That’s impressive considering they are both dead.

Was there any way she could choose what traits to copy, or is this just random dicking around? Because it feels like random dicking around. And why does the spadefish’s “blue blood” turn the bladderfish blue? If she was using the transfuser to transfer the spadefish’s skin color to the bladderfish, then the bladderfish should have turned green since a spadefish has green skin.

In case you forgot which one was the Spadefish.

I started to hear the pinging from the scanner room, when it picked up something on it’s radar.

:full body eye-twitch:

Gah. I’ve been pretty successful at ignoring the terrible sentence structure, but every so often one just jumps up and smacks me across the eyeballs.

We both rushed to the scanner room and looked at the monitor to see what it found. As it turns out it we found an… ISLAND?!

:gasp!:

DRAMATIC EMPHASIS!

There are actually two islands in the game, the Mountain Island, which is a traditional island, and the Floating Island, which is really just a massive rock being held up by a number of gigantic Floaters. From the player’s starting position near the Aurora both are obscured by white mist; since the rest of the surface is flat water it is fairly obvious that these are areas of interest. If these idiots have spent any time at all near the surface, they should have spotted both of these mist patches fairly quickly.

“Did we really find land on this flipping ocean planet?” I asked Casey.

I know, I’m shocked too! I didn’t think either of you could find your own asses with laser-guided GPS and a full-scale topographical map.

“I’m not sure, It would be a good idea to investigate ourselves. We both ran outside, and swam up to the cyclops.

They ran outside the base, which is located underwater. Right.

When we were both inside, she said “I need to work on your P.R.A.W.N suit for a while. You drive okay? Also try not to bump into anything this time, i had to make a day’s worth of repairs due to your terrible driving.” I laughed and went upstairs to pilot the sub.

I have questions, so many questions. The ones pertaining to this particular passage are as follows; Wasn’t she upset about the P.R.A.W.N. suit just a few minutes ago? Why is she suddenly not just okay with it, but wants to work on it? And why is she doing whatever it is she is going to do on the Cyclops when they are right there at the base, which would presumably have more room and the proper equipment? It’s not as if the island is going to get up and move. And when in the timeline did she manage to squeeze in a day’s worth of repairs? Dumbass was piloting the Cyclops, they broke for a meal of cooked spadefish, Crazy Casey showed Dumbass the franken-Seamoth, they managed to get it imploded, Dumbass found the exosuit, and they came back to the base after a pointless attack by some squid-things. That brings us from the last known time he piloted to sub to this moment. When were the repairs made?

IT was almost night by the time we were able to investigate.

Because waiting until daylight to explore an alien island full of unknown hazards is just plain silly.

“Hey logan! Come down quick!” I parked the sub in it’s position, and went down to investigate.

:headdesk:

it’s a vessel travelling in a three-dimensional space; it doesn’t have a set parking position. “Parking” the Cyclops is as easy as simply stopping.

Casey held a towel covered in lubricant, and oil.

Ewww. Hey, isn’t oil a lubricant?

:alarms blare:

Dammit.

:presses buttons on console:

I don’t typically condone using console commands, but I don’t think anyone would mind if I spawned a hundred Bleeders in the hallway right now.

They like to hug you with their teeth! And that red thing at the top? That’s your blood.

She was too.

Crazy Casey is a lubricant?

:alarms blare:

Double dammit. Two hundred it is!

She wiped her face of with the towel, before saying what she had done to my beautiful P.R.A.W.N suit baby.

If you feel that protective of the exosuit, why did you let her work on it? The last vessel she tinkered with imploded while you were in it!

“Alright the grand reveal!” she said. “I made some upgrades to your P.R.A.W.N suit.

Wait, why was she was able to upgrade the exosuit when she wasn’t able to upgrade the Seamoth even though they use many of the same upgrade modules?

For example, I made a new arm for your suit. It’s a drill arm.

:slow-clap:

Congratulations, you invented an existing piece of technology! (That you were somehow able to fabricate onboard the Cyclops without the proper facilities or even any knowledge of the P.R.A.W.N. beyond what it looks like.) This exosuit was designed for mining; it has a standard drill attachment.

The scanner room, picked up larger deposits of resources.

That you’re only mentioning now for whatever reason.

The punch you are able to use can’t break that down, so this will help…”

Now I’m even more confused about why she was yelling at Dumbass for picking up the exosuit.  Are these deposits recent discoveries, or had she already known about them but knew they couldn’t access them without some sort of drilling machinery? Since she’s Super-Gadget-Girl, couldn’t she have built some kind of hand-drill to use – or is that where this arm came from?

She kept rambling on about the arm.

You know things are bad when even the fic gets tired of talking about how awesome the gear is.

When she was done i went back upstairs.

Ending yet another scene that adds nothing but padding to the fic and serves only to allow the author to gush about how cool their stuff is.

By now it was completly night. “Uh… Casey you should get up here and see this.”

I think she’s seen the night before, chief.

Chapter 10: The Floating Island

And just like the last chapter-bundle, this one ends with a stray chapter title. At least we know which of the two islands they are going to. And has anyone else noticed that we still don’t have any gender – or even a vague description of  their appearance – for our protagonist?

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54 Comments on “1722: Subnautica The Novel (Chapter Bundle 4 is out!) – Chapter 2”

  1. BatJamags says:

    We both managed to get out of the hatch before the small sub IMPLODED on itself.

    Whoa, it IMPLODED? That’s so CRAZY. Why would it just IMPLODE like that? Especially since the HATCH was open which would have let water in, thereby equalizing the PRESSURE on the inside and outside of the vessel.

    • BatJamags says:

      We both rushed to the scanner room and looked at the monitor to see what it found. As it turns out it we found an… ISLAND?!

      Whoa, an ISLAND?! That’s a huge REVELATION. It’s AMAZING how your scanners were able to pick up something NEW even though you hadn’t MOVED or MODIFIED them!

      • GhostCat says:

        It’s also amazing that the scanner room, which is located underwater and can only scan for things that are under the water, managed to find an island above the water.

        You don’t actually physically move the scanners; the scanner room is attached to your base and scans the surrounding area, producing a three-dimensional holographic map around a small table in the center. You have to first select one resource, like Scrap Metal, Diamond, or Salt Deposits, from a menu and instruct it to look for that resource before it even builds that holographic map, though. And it can only scan the area around that particular base, and only when you’ve programmed it to look for something. It doesn’t randomly scan for no reason. There are two camera drones that you can send out from the scanner room and control remotely that can go a little beyond the scanner room’s range, but if there was no one at the base to control them then they wouldn’t have spotted the island.

        Of course, it would have helped if the author had bothered describing what a scanner room is and what function it serves.

    • GhostCat says:

      Unless Dumbass closed the hatch and repressurized the sub so it could finish imploding in appropriately dramatic fashion, which sounds like something that they would do. And if they were deep enough that the water pressure crushed the sub, then I doubt their squishy meat-sack bodies would fair much better when they tried to swim to the Cyclops.

    • AdmiralSakai says:

      ahahahahaha just HOW DEEP do you even have to BE just to DO something like that

    • The guy who wrote the fanfic, CrashBurnGlobal says:

      SO there are actually 3 reasons why it imploded.
      1: The hatch automatically closes when you exit the sea moth.
      2: Pressure causes things to cave in on its self, causing a implosion.
      3:It was just a cool thing to add.

      • GhostCat says:

        I assume it was mostly because of number three – but if the Seamoth was at such a great depth that it was instantly crushed, what do you think would happen to the unprotected and much more fragile humans exiting the sub?

  2. BatJamags says:

    A P.R.A.W.N suit.

    So it’s a crossover with District 9?

  3. BatJamags says:

    Chapter 8: The Fun Begins

    I highly doubt that.

  4. BatJamags says:

    “Did we really find land on this flipping ocean planet?” I asked Casey.

    Technically speaking, Earth is a flipping ocean planet. So yeah. You did.

    • GhostCat says:

      Technically speaking, there’s plenty of land on Planet 4546B; some patches are just a little damper than others.

    • AdmiralSakai says:

      Astronomers typically refer to “ocean planets” as those having more than 10% water by mass, resulting in oceans hundreds of kilometers deep and atmospheres largely composed of water vapor as opposed to oxygen. 4546B is just a slightly-more-oceanic-than-Earth terrestrial planet.

      • GhostCat says:

        And it is entirely possible that there are more land masses on 4546B; the game map is big but it doesn’t cover anything close to an entire planet. The Aurora could have gone down in an area roughly equivalent to the center of the Pacific Ocean – lots of water with only a few scattered islands around.

  5. AdmiralSakai says:

    “What was that?!” Casey said, scrambling to get of the half submerged sub. “I dunno” I said, “But we should get out of here!”

    Wait, they’re going to exit the sub below its crush depth?

    People have a crush depth too, you know.

    • GhostCat says:

      From what I’ve read, meat isn’t a very compressible substance so they wouldn’t be imploded like the sub – but it ain’t gonna end well for ’em.

  6. AdmiralSakai says:

    In the game your oxygen meter will automatically refill any time you’re inside a powered vehicle or base, but that’s probably so the player doesn’t have to deal with constantly changing air canisters or have to think about removing a mouthpiece when they enter an environment with air and then replacing it before going back in the water. It makes sense as a way to streamline gameplay, but I don’t think it would make for a very realistic scenario.

    I think it makes sense if their suit has the ability to automatically pull in breathable air when there is a supply of it available. It might take power to run a pump to pressurize it, though, but if the suit can only store a little air to begin with it wouldn’t need to pressurize it that much.

    • GhostCat says:

      I don’t think the suits themselves do, when you start out you have a very short oxygen bar that lasts about as long as a very deep breath, but you can fabricate air tanks to extend that time. The tanks could have some fancy self-filling future-tech gizmo built in to it, which would save resources since it eliminates the need for separate equipment to do that, but I still think it’s just for ease of gameplay.

  7. AdmiralSakai says:

    http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/subnautica/images/4/4e/Blood_Kelp_(8).jpg/revision/latest?cb=20150914223211
    Blood Kelp, which is substantially more creepy.

    But is there… hyper-realistic Blood Kelp?

    • GhostCat says:

      They do develop these little growths full of ‘blood oil’ that look a lot like blood blisters, you can harvest the blood oil as a resource and as a plantable ‘seed’ to grow your own Blood Kelp.

  8. AdmiralSakai says:

    She stabbed the spadefish, with the transfuser, and stole some of it’s blue blood, and injected it into the bladder fish’s body. It immediately turned blue, and grew scales.

    Great. Now it’s going to go into heat, and ruin Garrus Vakarian.

  9. AdmiralSakai says:

    We both rushed to the scanner room and looked at the monitor to see what it found. As it turns out it we found an… ISLAND?!

    :gasp!:

    DRAMATIC EMPHASIS!

    There are actually two islands in the game, the Mountain Island, which is a traditional island, and the Floating Island, which is really just a massive rock being held up by a number of gigantic Floaters. From the player’s starting position near the Aurora both are obscured by white mist; since the rest of the surface is flat water it is fairly obvious that these are areas of interest. If these idiots have spent any time at all near the surface, they should have spotted both of these mist patches fairly quickly.

    “Did we really find land on this flipping ocean planet?” I asked Casey.

    More to the point, why is it picking these islands up now? It’s not like they weren’t there before.

    • GhostCat says:

      Land masses, man; they sneak up on you when you’re not looking and the next thing you know BAM! They’ve gone full isthmus on you.

    • The guy who wrote the fanfic, CrashBurnGlobal says:

      Upgrades dummy.

      • SC says:

        Yeah, unless you have more of an explanation than that, it’s not a very good excuse.

        It’s like saying “nanomachines, son!” as the reason for being stupid buff – exactly how are those nanomachines buffing you the fuck up? You can’t just say it and leave it as is, and expect to be taken seriously.

        So, either put some effort into explaining shit, or find a better excuse than “upgrades.”

      • GhostCat says:

        When did they get these upgrades? And from where? Didn’t Casey say they would have to go back to the Sirius – no, sorry, it’s the <Aurora now – to get the upgrade modules?

  10. Angie says:

    I don’t think that, this author knows how to, use commas very, well.

    “I’m not sure, It would be a good idea to investigate ourselves. We both ran outside, and swam up to the cyclops.

    I guess it’s just, something to work, on. You wouldn’t, want people to get the, wrong idea.

  11. SC says:

    I guess Crazy Casey isn’t as good at “modifying” Seamoths as she thought she was.

    Bifocals: See? She is nothing like me!

    Sheesh, I make one comparison…

  12. SC says:

    I don’t typically condone using console commands, but I don’t think anyone would mind if I spawned a hundred Bleeders in the hallway right now.

    *Specs runs by, covered in Bleeders, screaming*

  13. SC says:

    Pffft! The jets on the exosuit are crap and the controls are balky at best; I don’t know anyone who can manage a perfect docking procedure every time. It’s far more likely that Dumbass would ram into the side and/or keel of the Cyclops a few times before managing it.

    Considering that Logan is a Specs expy, I’m more inclined to believe they’ll just keep bashing into the keel while wondering why it’s not working.

    • GhostCat says:

      When I first got my exosuit I thought it was just my inexperience with games in general that was to blame for me bashing into the Cyclops so often – until I watched numerous YouTube videos where experienced gamers bashed away like a bunch of drunks trying to get their keys into their front door. It made me feel better, but I still hate using the stupid thing.

    • The guy who wrote the fanfic, CrashBurnGlobal says:

      Didn’t you read a damn thing?! Logan is familiar with PRAWN suits because he works in the field. He also had one on the farm he lived on with his dad.

      • SC says:

        Yes, actually, we have been reading it. Which is why we’ve been making these kinds of jokes, oddly enough.

      • GhostCat says:

        And again I ask – what kind of farm did they have that they needed a deep-space exploration and mining exosuit? And what “field” is Logan in? They didn’t use it for mining because the P.R.A.W.N. didn’t have a drill arm on it.

    • Delta XIII says:

      Specs expy? You mean a Spexpy?

      …I’ll see myself out.

  14. SC says:

    You’re on the same level as the bridge; there’s no “up” to run to.

    And if the Cyclops is basically a submarine, you really shouldn’t be running in the first place. Tight corners and such. People get hurt like that.

    And yes, I am saying this in spite of the crew consisting of two people, because Dumbass has already proven to have Specs-level coordination. Just their luck, they’ll slam into Crazy Casey while she’s carrying a grenade or some shit one of these times.

    • GhostCat says:

      Not really a lot of tight corners to go around in the Cyclops; it’s fairly open for a little sub. The main “top” section is divided into four areas; the bridge at the front, a small ‘foyer’ area, the large open section where the access hatch for the docking bay is, and the rear engine compartment. There’s a big bulkhead door between the bridge and the foyer-alcove and a pair of smaller bulkhead doors accessing the engine, with ladders located in the bridge and at the very back of the engine area giving access to the bottom level. Due to the shape of the hull, the bottom level is narrow at the floor and wider at the ceiling, with an outside access hatch at the front (which can be sealed with a bulkhead door) and the docking bay hatch underneath the floor. It’s not really divided up otherwise. If there’s anything docked inside the Cyclops you can look up and see it if you’re in the bottom level, but it’s not really accessible because it’s too high up.

      If you leave all the doors open, you have fairly good visibility. It would take a special kind of stupid to accidentally run into someone.

  15. SC says:

    Pressure Re-Active Waterproof Nanosuit (Mk.III)

    Continuing on with the, “That Shit Looks Like Bifocals Made It” running gag…

  16. TacoMagic says:

    I’ve noticed a bit of a perspective problem with the game, though; things look much smaller than they really are because you can’t really tell how big something is unless you use a known object for a size reference.

    Weird fact, that’s one of the more serious issues they ran into during the moon landings. While out on the moon surface there’s nothing to use as a point of reference for size (other than themselves), so the astronauts had a lot of problems telling the difference between a large but far away object and a close small one.

    • GhostCat says:

      I can totally believe that; I have a Google Cardboard and one of the “games” I have is a recreation of the Apollo moon landing (which is awesome) and you can take the lunar rover out for a spin. There are some areas where you can drive for what feels like miles without the horizon changing at all, but when you turn back towards the lander it’s this tiny little speck.

      • SC says:

        Not even joking, that’s what living in Modesto felt like for me sometimes. The Central Valley is so flat that someone like me, who’s known nothing but mountains and trees thanks to living up north, could get lost for days, just from walking in a straight line.

      • GhostCat says:

        I felt like that when I visited Lyle in Idaho; where I live in the Piedmont area of North Carolina it is mostly gentle hills and lots and lots of pine trees with air so humid you can almost cut it, and the only open spaces are farm fields. Idaho was very open and very brown (and dry; so very, very dry), like it was all exposed and naked. (Then I visited Arizona, which is like Idaho but even more so.) I’m just not used to being able to see that far, it made my eyes go all twitchy.


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