1719: The Girl – Chapter FivePosted: March 27, 2017
Title: The Girl
Topic: The Outsiders
URL: Chapter Five
Critiqued by Angie
Probably something about a Soc and a Greaser, maybe. Probably not.
*screech* Let’s! Get! This! Over with!
I mean, The Girl is only like…a fifth of the way over, but goddamn if that doesn’t mean I’m gonna celebrate. Let’s just be glad this chapter is short. (Why are the Darry chapters always so short?)
Anyway, my name is Angie, and this is The Girl. Let’s continue.
Chapter 5: Darry
I worked really late that night. When I got home, I assumed everyone would be asleep.
*nods along* That would make sense. Except for the fact that you know Riley has night terrors, even though I doubt you know she’s there. It’s still stupid.
As I set my stuff in front of the door and hung up my jacket, I noticed the light was on in the kitchen. When I walked in, there was Riley sitting on the counter, smoking a cigarette.
I guess Pony was too self important to call Darry’s work phone to tell him she was staying over, huh? We know that the Curtis house has a cord phone at the very least.
She was wearing a long t-shirt I knew was Ponyboy’s, she may be too young for me, but she had some great legs.
…I remember why Darry’s chapters are super short. It’s because he’s super pervy. Surprise!
“Well long time no see…” I said as I walked to the fridge and pulled out the chocolate milk. “Want a glass?”
Who would deny a glass of chocolate milk?
She smiled at me. “No thanks…” She took the last drag of her cigarette and put it out.
…Riley, I guess. Alright.
I poured myself a cup then walked over and stood next to her. “You ok?”
What was your first clue that something might be wrong? Saying no to chocolate milk or randomly finding her in your kitchen smoking a Camel?
She nodded. “Yeah…I took some pain reliever and I’m pretty sure I’ll live to see another day.”
*headdesk* Am I missing something? Riley is a terrible liar, and I don’t believe for a second that Darry believes her.
She paused for a moment and I took a drink of my chocolate milk. “Hey Darry can I ask you a favor?”
I finished my drink. “Yeah…what’s up?”
Heh. See? We have fun here.
“Well…” Riley looked down at her feet dangling above the floor. “Is it ok if I stay here a couple days…me and my…” She chocked on the word, so I could tell it was hard for her to call him that.
I thought you were already aware of that? Are there seriously just pages ripped out of this manuscript? I swear I’m missing a bunch of things.
“Dad are having some issues and I just need to get away to think…”
I shrugged. “He’s not gonna care that you’re gone?”
So did she rile or laugh? I don’t care either way, just don’t lie to me please.
“Earl would be happy if I never came back…” She looked at me and in her eyes I could see defeat, it was the same look and feeling you get from a house after a hurricane blew half of it away.
Great. Another Bambee metaphor.
*searches on Google*
I found the Hurricane House Resort.
Does that count? If so, that doesn’t sound so bad.
“So can I stay?”
“Not a problem, just pick up after yourself.”
If you shit on the floor, get some paper towels. You know where the cat food and the bowl are.
Riley smiled. “Thanks Darry…I promise to help out.”
You shouldn’t need to. Really, more than anything, Darry should be looking after you. Which, on the surface, is fine. Riley’s sixteen, she still needs chocolate cake. The thing is, she still pretends that she doesn’t. I wouldn’t be surprised if Darry woke up and all the chocolate cake was gone (thanks Obama) by Riley’s doing. I get the feeling there’s more to Riley than we’re being shown.
And by that I mean there is definitely more to Riley than what’s being shown.
And that’s lame.
I put my cup in the sink then looked at her. “Anything else you wanna tell me before I head to bed?”
…*laughs* Oh my God, that’s. That was just abysmal. Fucking abysmal. I mean, Christ. Darry is straight up asking Riley for exposition! Almost like he knows he’s in a bad fic! Which is…I don’t know, ironic or something. Whatever it is, it sucks. Fuck that.
She shrugged. “Um…your brother kissed me…”
I laughed. “Which one?”
Take a wild guess. You all find her attractive, but you and Soda are too old for her.
Maybe, just maybe, it’s Ponyboy?
“I’ll kill him in the morning.” I smiled at her.
*slides back in chair* Woah. Maybe let’s not make death jokes in front of Riley. Maybe let’s not do that. Maybe. I don’t know. Let’s not. Just to be sure.
She smiled back at me. “No…I liked it…” She shrugged. “Don’t tell him…but I’ve had a crush on him for a while now…”
You kissed in the yard down the street. I get the feeling Pony might get the ticket that you want to fuck him.
“Just no hanky-panky in my house; I catch you guys and I’ll skin him alive.”
Sorry. Pony might get the ticket that you want to hanky-panky…him.
Hanky-Panky? No one says that! No one should ever say that!
Riley laughed. “And what about me?”
I shrugged. “Meh…maybe having a little sister instead of a brother would be nice.”
That’s slightly misanthropic. I guess. Or serial killer…istic. I guess. Either way, it’s creepy.
Believe it or not, that’s actually the end of the chapter. Sorry to cut the riff so soon, but…*shrugs* Maybe some day you’ll forgive me. Anyhow, this is Angie signing off.