1694: Love of a Spartan – Chapter Twenty-Six

Title: Love of a Spartan
Author:  AshleyBudrick
Media: Video Game
Topic: HALO
Genre:  Sci-Fi/Romance
URL:  Saved to this Archive
Critiqued by Admiral Sakai, Gul, and the Arbiter


This chapter contains potential flamebait in the form of discussion of sexual assault and date rape. No military component this time, though, just the regular versions.

Hello hello all you patrons, and welcome to yet another chapter of Love of a Spartan.

Last time, the Hercules stopped over on Reach for a poorly-planned resupply run, where Kelly tried to drive a wedge between Edward and Renee by telling the idiot Marine that the idiot Spartan had ‘dumped’ her with no explanation or preamble. Terrifyingly, this was plan was entirely successful. Renee left with the other Marines and excuses for Marines to have some kind of celebration in the city around the military base (it’s all extremely vague), and Edward asked Amy to give her the message that Kelly lied even though he was five feet away from Renee at the time and could have just fucking told her himself.

*Sigh….* Remember when this story had something to do with Halo?”

Terrible Troy Counter: 108

Mommy’s Little Marines (And Spartans) Counter: 114

Fucking Halight Counter: 53

We pick right back up with Chaper 26/Twenty-Five, “Repercussions”.

Can’t we just read that instead?”

Outside of the Military Base

[April 2nd, 2535 – Reach]

What the hell kind of location stamp is that? You can’t just switch formats on us in the middle of the goddamn story for no goddamn reason!

It was a rather quiet and awkward taxi ride to the bar. The drive took about ten minutes, and the majority of it was filled with silence. The taxi cab driver attempted to make conversation with the marines, but it didn’t really work,

Although that hasn’t stopped the dialogue in this thing before…”

Actually, I’m not to sure there should be a taxi driver in the first place- they have a manual mode too, but civilian cars in the Haloverse are shown in Contact Harvest to have self-driving capability and taxis would certainly be using it.

and he was the kind of man who seemed to prefer not talking much anyway. Troy seemed happy enough, with an average smile on his face, but he kept to himself and looked out the window at the buildings passing by. Amy, who was squished between Renee and Troy, was contemplating when it would be a good time to bring up what John had told her to tell Renee.

Well, given that she’s apparently in some amount of distress over the Spartan, and you just got a cryptic message from the Spartan, now would probably be a better time than anything else…

Her friend, like Troy, was gazing out the window, but she wasn’t smiling. Her hands were on her lap but she was wringing them nervously, cracking her knuckles and twisting and contorting her fingers as she kept her eyes glued to the window. The little make up she’d applied before leaving the Hercules was washed away where the tears had fallen down her face.

You know, Renee Kilburn really does cry an awful lot in this- even controlling for the fact that she’s constantly angsting about something or other, there are other ways to express sadness and she demonstrates exactly none of them.

Mommy’s Little Marines (And Spartans) Counter: 115

Amy was confused and felt somewhat left out in the dark. There was something that had gone on between Renee and John, and it obviously hadn’t been anything good-

And this is different from usual… how, exactly?”

even John didn’t tell her about it. He had just told her to deliver the message “It’s a lie”. What was a lie?

The cake, perhaps?”

Don’t make me hurt you.

This made Amy even more curious as to what had gone on in those short few minutes Renee had gone in to see him. They had been fine when John left weeks ago,

For a very mopey definition of ‘fine’, anyway…

and now everything had turned upside down. Amy wasn’t a hundred percent sure why, but she had suspicions that the other Spartans had something to do with what was going on. Their attitude towards marines, especially Renee, had been quite obvious on Lacerta;

Well, their attitude towards incompetent Marines, anyway… I doubt they’d mind too much working with, say, Lt. Fisher.

they didn’t seem too approving of John’s relationship.

For a moment, she suspected that maybe Renee thought John was cheating on her with Kelly,

Only in Love of a Spartan can that sentence exist.

What’s really frightening is that Amy’s analysis of Renee’s suspicions is entirely correct.”

Mommy’s Little Marines (And Spartans) Counter: 116

or perhaps even walked in on something, but John seemed too loyal of a person to do that

Walked in on… what, exactly? The characters in this thing have to be told how to use their tongues.

and in Amy’s opinion, Kelly wasn’t really that pretty. Her blue eyes could be attractive if they weren’t so suspicious looking, and she had a rather pointy nose that seemed to be the dominant feature on her pale face. She was average, Amy decided; at least her face was anyway.

Well that was just uncalled for.

Though she’d never seen her without the armor, Amy recalled a time where she had seen a woman body-builder on the front of a magazine back on earth, with exaggerated muscles and her whole upper body looked out of proportion.

… what the hell kind of magazines has Amy been reading?

Women with large muscles were just weird,



and Amy had no doubt that Kelly and the rest of the female Spartans would be abnormally muscular, thus taking away from the hourglass physique of normal women. Not at all attractive to general males,

… Have I mentioned recently how much I hate this ‘fic?”

but who knows with the male Spartans- but Amy knew that John wouldn’t cheat. He just wasn’t that type.

This is true. Stalkers are indeed known for their monomaniacal focus…

Then what had happened? Something with Kelly or one of the other Spartans, so Amy went to the next best thing- one of them must have told Renee something to turn her against John, a scheme similar to ones used by gossiping high school girls, perhaps. That they saw him with another girl, or that he had a previous girlfriend and was bringing her up into conversation, or maybe even that John wasn’t interested in her anymore.

You know, I was tempted to mark down Kelly for doing what she did in that she really shouldn’t be sinking to their infantile level… but the fact is sinking to their level worked when we’ve already seen that no amount of reasoning or oratory ever could!”

Mommy’s Little Marines (And Spartans) Counter: 117

“… How appropriate.”

That made sense with what John told her to say to Renee. But Amy realized that now wouldn’t be the best time to go through with it, especially with a taxi driver and Troy being present. Though Amy knew the taxi driver wouldn’t listen, or if he did, wouldn’t particularly care-

Much like the audience at this point, really.

but Troy would be no doubt all ears.

Terrible Troy Counter: 109

They arrived at the designated bar,

There was a designated bar?”

This is the first we’ve heard about it…

and the taxi driver stopped by the curb, and looked to them all in the rearview mirror, and declared, “This is the closest bar; it’s kind of a night club too, I know another bar that’s a couple more miles down the road, but that’d be another five dollars.”

Umm… why would they want to go to a different bar? The only defect I can see in the one they’ve got is its complete lack of description.

And we know that the next bar would be just as vague anyway.”

Also, the UNSC economy is based on credits, not dollars.

“No, this is fine,” Troy smiled, glancing momentarily out to the curb, where Kirk, Blaine and Josh had already been dropped off and were waiting outside for them.

Umm, Sakai? How large is this military base?”

I have no goddamn clue. But frigates can dock there, so it must be a fairly major facility.

As I suspected. Now, for Troy, Kirk, Blaine, and Josh to have stood a realistic chance of ending up at the same bar as the children out of all the bars in a large city, this has to be the one closest to the base, offering military discounts, or otherwise made specially attractive to personnel. So why isn’t the entire area swarmed by Marines?”

Gul, I thought we went over this. The only other personnel in the UNSC’s employ are the Spartans, Captain Thomsen, Dr. Halsey, the suicide trainers, and that one no-name corporal. The entire complement of the military base could probably get lost inside a mid-sized convenience store.

He hastily dug in his pocket and took out the appropriate change and dropped it into the driver’s waiting palm, “Thanks for the ride.”

… and they’re still using physical coins.

“Not a problem,” he answered, “You kids have fun. Just call when you want to go back to the base, we have lots of cabs, we’ve got quick pick up and will have you back to your officers before your curfew or whatever it is you marines have.” He chuckled to himself.

These Marines? Probably an eight o-clock bedtime.

“I will,” Troy nodded, and thanked him again, and they all got out of the cab and walked up onto the curb. The sun was beginning to set, and as the two groups of friends met up, they stood outside for amoment. Renee hugged herself, feeling that the temperature had gone down since they’d left.

Meaning… what, exactly? Is she no longer sweating quite so profusely? Is it starting to snow?  Where on Reach are we, anyway?

She was so confused, but she made the mental decision that she would act appropriately and have fun.

“That’s going to go well…”

It was Troy’s birthday, and she wasn’t going to be a party pooper, so to speak.

So to speak, yes.”

Why do I get the feeling that this chapter was written by a very exhausted Pinkie Pie?

Mommy’s Little Marines (And Spartans) Counter: 118

She glanced over to Amy, who made eye contact and gave her a little smile .

“So, this is the bar, ” Troy declared to the others, folding his arms on his chest, and looking at the building. It was windowless, and two large doors were the only entrance. A blue flashing neon sign wasmounted above the doors, stating the name of the bar.

Whatever that may have been.

One of the doors was open and loud electronic music with hard bass beats was blasting out of it.

“Yeah,” Blaine grinned, “We peeked, and it’s a club too!”

“By all means, please continue telling us information we already know!

“The taxi driver mentioned that, yeah, ” Troy raised an eyebrow, “Are there a lot of people?”

“A whole crowd, ” Kirk nodded, “Awesome lights, sweet music, and by the looks of things lots of alcohol and some sexy girls too! “

Who talks like this?!

So Troy does the responsible thing and tells them not to start any fights, drink until they throw up, or otherwise be idiots-

Good luck with that.”

– and they go inside. The music is described as having

dangerous levels of decibels

since apparently this story hasn’t abused physics enough as is, and Renee decides to drink away her lingering unease with regards to the whole Master Chief thing.

They walked over and sat down at the bar beside Amy, who had already received her drink. It was a large glass, but because of the wacky hues in the room, Renee couldn’t tell what it was. She leaned over to Amy, “What are you having?”

Amy beamed.

“Whiskey and soda, ” she replied, her mouth curling up into a grin, “Great stuff.”

“Sounds good, ” Troy remarked.

Now, I’m not biochemically able to enjoy human beverages, and I understand that the Admiral simply isn’t the carousing type-”

I had a beer once.

It was awful.

– so neither of us are really qualified to say for sure, but that doesn’t sound like especially ‘great stuff’ to me. In fact, it sounds fairly average.”

She starts downing it in great big gulps (??) and Troy- being Troy- tells her to take it easy.

“Bah! I trust you remember my seventeenth!”

Your seventeenth… what, exactly? Birthday?

Knowing Amy Smythe, probably her seventeenth disciplinary hearing.”

Mommy’s Little Marines (And Spartans) Counter: 119

“Oh Christ, yes,” Troy said with a sigh. Amy had somehow gotten her hands on an entire quart of moonshine and wasn’t sober for two days afterwards .

Ok, once again I really don’t have any idea how this sort of thing works… but I’m pretty sure that’s not how this sort of thing works.

“As long as I don’t get that bad,” she laughed, “You don’t have to worry- but someone might have to tolerate me leaning on their shoulder for the way home.” She looked to Renee, “You’ve been that person more than once, RenRen, can I count on ya this time perhaps? Oh!” Amy looked down at the whiskey-soda mix, and held it out to her, “Try this stuff, you might want to order your own.”

“I need you sober in order to look after me on the way home- here, drink more!”

That, sadly, makes this one of Amy Smythe’s less illogical plans.”

“Sure, ” Renee replied, feeling a little thrill somewhere at trying the concoction.

She swiped the glass out of her hand, and both Troy and Amy watched her as she lifted the glass to her lips and took a sip. The sweetness of soda, with an underlying bitterness that, on its way down her throat, developed into a burning sensation-

Now, based on what I was able to dig up, the ‘soda’ in a whiskey and soda is club soda. So I’m not entirely sure what would be ‘sweet’ in it.

and she coughed, “Strong!” she made a face, and handed it back, “But good ! ”

The three of them laughed.

“Here, Troy, try it too!”

He did, also unable to succeed without making a face.

“Jeez Amy, you’ve got quite a taste,” he remarked as Amy took her drink back, downing another gulp, “But it’s strangely good.”

Because apparently Troy (the actual adult of the group) has never tried a stiff drink either.

Mommy’s Little Marines (And Spartans) Counter: 120

So, everybody gets a whiskey and soda, Renee gets buzzed after only one sip (not one drink, mind you, but one sip), and after Troy notices something’s up she deflects it and chugs a quarter of the glass.

“Renee!” Troy seemed surprised.

“Look at her go!” Amy roared approvingly.

Renee set her glass down, coughing violently for a moment, but quickly recovered to smile at her and Troy.

“That’ll start me off well,” she remarked.

And given that the size of the glasses is never described, I have no idea if this is actually impressive or not.”

“You haven’t got much drinking experience under your belt, RenRen, ” Troy said carefully, “Don’t drink too much or guaranteed you’ll be hugging the toilet for the remainder of the night.”

“This little bit will take its effect soon, ” Renee said, already feeling the warm and fuzzy feeling increasing. Her cheeks felt warm, “And that’s all I’ll have, promise.”

Sure it is.

Fifteen minutes passed and the three friends drank and socialized at the bar- and the effects were nearly felt in full force. Amy was noticeably drunk, her eyes looked glazed and everything to her seemed highly amusing, but she insisted – despite Troy’s objections – on ordering another glass for herself.

Why is this slowly turning into a PSA?

“Oh, this is nothing,” she said with a sly grin, “I’m not even slurring my words yet!”

No more than in the rest of the ‘fic, anyway.

Troy, sensibly, has only a few drinks, and Renee, predictably, just keeps downing the things.”

“How are you feeling, RenRen?” he asked her.

“Wonderful ! ” she exclaimed, seeming unsteady as she turned to look at him. A giggle rose in her throat, but she sort of choked on it and leaned forward onto the bar, resting her head momentarily on the counter, looking up at him, “Feeling great, LT ! Weoo, this is great, so great,”

You know, there are other words in the English language that can be used to describe something positive…

So, Renee babbles on, Amy once again completely forgets to tell her about the whole Edward thing.”

Renee turned, and looked at her, and started laughing too, and the two girls were soon laughing at nothing- laughing so hard that they were almost brought to tears. Renee felt really happy, like she could do anything, so she spun lightly on her chair to turn to face Troy, brushing away a tear from her cheek the fit of laughter had brought on. She smiled at him, and got up off the chair, and perched herself on his lap, her arms encircling his neck to steady herself.

Terrible Troy Counter: Well this is going in an uncomfortable direction…

“Wanna dance. Lieutenant Fisher?” she asked, raising an eyebrow, her face rather close to his. Troy was instantly surprised by her actions and question she asked of him, but instantly enjoyed the fact of being so close to her. For a moment, he couldn’t find his words, but luckily they were both distracted for a moment, when Amy let out a squeal and started laughing again, pointing at the two of them. With a strangled gasp, she lost her balance and fell right off her chair with a thud. Renee and Troy broke into laughter, and Amy, who lay flat on her back, laughed too.

“Ah, I’m fine!” Amy drawled, giggling, as she crawled her way back up to her chair. She looked to the bartender, “See that?”

Troy and Renee looked back to one another, their eyes glazed with drink .

You know, I was planning to write up a big long rant on the bizarre, Reefer Madness-like anti-alcohol scare tactics that are making up an increasing portion of this chapter, but now that I’m actually reading through it line by line I realize that this sort of outrageous behavior really isn’t all that different from how the characters act when they’re sober!

“Dance?” she asked, smiling.

“Definitely,” he replied eagerly without a second thought. They both got up, standing still for a moment to gain their balance. Renee was rather steady on her feet, or seemed confident enough to think so.

She grabbed Troy’s hand, intwining her fingers with his- and Troy, drunk, of course didn’t object.

Wait, I thought he was the one who was actually watching how much he drank?

Well, either the story thinks that any amount of alcohol immediately and completely removes a human’s ability to control his actions, or it’s just being inconsistent again.”

Whichever wins, we lose.

So, they head out onto the dance floor, and we are subjected to this brilliant piece of dialogue:

“You know, I’ve really missed you,” she announced, giggling, “Like you know, I missed you Troy, I really did. Remember those times? I missed you . “

[RIFFCON is immediately blanketed in a solid carpet of DRD agents.]

That does it. Release… the Shinger!!

[One text wall of temporally inconsistent, onomatopoetic violence later, RIFFCON is no longer blanketed in a solid carpet of DRD agents.]

“I’ve missed you too,” Troy raised his hand up to her face, but she snatched his hand away, only to spin away from him with a hearty laugh. Playing along, Troy pulled her close again and she squealed like a little girl, happy again to be in his arms. To both of them, they were amazed and fascinated by their surroundings

Whatever those surroundings may have been.”

and each other, brought on by their lack of sobriety.

Troy cautiously put his face closer to hers, “It could be just like how it used to be, if you get rid of Spartan.”

You know, as much as this is supposed to sound like evil plotting, after everything that’s happened I can really only read this as Fisher taking advantage of a rare moment alone with Renee to try to get her out of her horrible creepy relationship, and failing miserably because the PSA magically made him drunk.

Terrible Troy Counter: 110

“Spartan!” she repeated, her voice slurred, and started laughing again, and then she remembered John and frowned,

What other Spartan would she think Lt. Fisher was referring to?”

“He doesn’t like me anymore; he’s too concerned about his stupid Spartan missions!

Oh how dare he favor his responsibility to protect the entire human species from plasmonic death over your asinine babbling!”

Mommy’s Little Marines (And Spartans) Counter: 121

So things go on from there, as dancing becomes something a bit more intimate.”

Troy smirked, as he leaned his face down to the crook of her neck, inhaling her scent. She smelled like whiskey mixed with some type of perfume, a smell that was all of a sudden intoxicating to him.

That would be the whiskey part.

Hesitantly, he lowered his lips to her neck, and began to nibble kisses along her skin – just like how they used to do years ago.

How he’d missed this- and her response was just the same. She sighed and just allowed him to kiss her, with her alcohol-induced mind not able to tell her this wasn’t right.

… There are soooo many problems with this.

For one thing, there’s the alcohol PSA.”

Then there’s the fact that while this is clearly meant to represent Troy taking advantage of a non-consenting Kilburn, this entire sequence has pretty much been Renee’s show from the start.

And the fact that the story seems to want to bend over backwards to make Troy somehow just as intoxicated, meaning he’d be just as ‘not able to tell this wasn’t right’ as she was.. no matter how nonsensical it sounds.”

Oh yeah, and the whole segment is awkward and incredibly creepy.

Terrible Troy Counter: 111

At that moment, she turned her face towards him, and he abandoned her neck, and slowly put his lips to hers- something he’d desperately missed. She kissed him back, so willingly-Troy for a moment thought this was a dream. Honestly he thought he’d never kiss her ever again. He deepened the kiss, pulling her closer against him; they were adults now, not high school seniors.

Well, at least one of them’s an adult. The other’s still got a ways to go before she even gets to high school senior.

“Aaand you just made things creepy again.”

He paused for a moment, and decided on the more inviting movement of slipping his tongue cleverly through her lips.

Oh, not this again…”

Not far away Kirk, Josh, and Blaine were plain witnesses to the surprising make out session between the Lieutenant and the Corporal, and laughed and exchanged surprised comments.

Mommy’s Little Marines (And Spartans) Counter: 122

Can we just, like, go ahead and sign those three up for the swim team and be done with it?

Like Troy, it was nothing they thought they would see again.

And poor Renee, was too drunk to realize anything was wrong, Troy was taking advantage, and Amy, impossibly drunk at the bar was no real help, having completely forgotten about the message she was supposed to tell Renee.


That’s when a certain Spartan walked in the front door.

Well, shit.

Can we… maybe just go back to the PSA for a while?”

He was wearing the same things he had been before, though this time with shoes.

You know, all those things.

And items, let’s not forget those…”

For a moment, the loud music and flashing lights alarmed him, but he regained his concentration,

All right, if a nightclub is enough to nearly give this man a panic attack, how has he survived one minute on the battlefield?”

not allowing the strange place to make him forget why he was here.

So he runs into Amy at the bar, and asks what’s going on and if she dropped off his stupid little message for him.

“No, ” she replied, shaking her head, “Though Renee seems to like the whiskey-soda…” she gestured towards the almost-empty glass still sitting where Renee had left it. John looked to the glass and then back to Amy.

“Alcohol?” he asked.

No, fucking superfluid helium. What do you think a whiskey-soda is made of?

“Renee shouldn’t be drinking this,” he declared, “Neither should you, Amy. This is irresponsible behavior; you clearly aren’t in your right frame of mind.”

Since, after all, only Master Chief Edward-117 is qualified to decide the right and wrong way to spend your leave.”

Fucking Halight Counter: 54

“But it’s fucking good!” Amy slurred, “Don’t you think so?” she paused thoughtfully, “You’re really hot, like the lights make you so sexy looking. Kiss me, it wouldn’t hurt.”

John got to his feet, pushing Amy back down on the stool as she tried to get close to him.

“You don’t know what you’re saying,” he muttered, holding her down easily .

Fucking Halight Counter: 55

“Oh but I do, ” she said with a sly grin, “Kiss me John, show me those tips! I bet Renee won’t mind!”

Ok, am I going to have to start a goddamn tips counter here?

John ignored her and stalked off towards the crowd of dancing people. He shook his head, amazed at what an affect alcohol could have on people- Amy in particular.

No, that’s just regular old stupidity.

So, he wanders off into the crowd and disapproves of the way the civilians are dressed. There are apparently no other humans in uniforms at the nearest club to a major military base, which would in a sane world make locating Kilburn relatively straightforward, but the Chief somehow gets lost and runs into… well, I’m not really sure what he runs int, I suppose just some other civilian club inhabitant who may or may not be being implied to be a prostitute. The conversation must truly be read to be believed.”

Suddenly, he felt a tap on his elbow, and John whipped around, expecting to see Renee, but instead, he saw a blonde girl, wearing a lot of make-up, smiling at him. She was taller than Renee, but not nearly as beautiful.

Of course she wasn’t.

John was confused, and gave her a little nod .

“Ma ‘ am?”

“Hey, ” she smiled largely, twirling a strand of hair around her finger, “My name’s Felicia! What’s yours?” She batted her lashes, and John noticed the way she spoke wasn’t really normal. It had a tone toit that was carrying some underlying interest.

“John-117,” he answered, narrowing his eyes.

“117?” she asked, touching his arm again lightly, “Oh, you must be from the military base. Nice. I love military boys.” She grinned again, “They’re always so much more fun.” She bit her lip.

“Can I help you, ma’am?” John asked, not liking the way she was getting so close to him, so he took a step backwards.

“Well, it depends,” Felicia pursed her lips, “I can help you, if you like. Because I know how lonely you can get in the military…” she raised her eyebrow, and lowered her voice, “Let’s go somewhere more private . ”

“Excuse me?” John asked, utterly confused now.

“Oh don’t play dumb,” she giggled, “You know exactly what I’m talking about.”

“I’m sorry, but I don’t,” he answered truthfully, “Now, if you’d excuse me, I’m looking for someone.” John brushed past her and walked further into the crowd, and was glad when she didn’t follow. It was so weird, he never thought women would come up to him and be so interested .

Well, that was pointless.”

MOVING ON, he encounters the Nattering Dudebro Squad of Josh, Kirk, and Blaine, who finally point him in the right direction. Or… the wrong direction, as the case may be:

John felt his adrenaline spike, as he looked up, and spotted Renee and Troy. His arms were around her and the two of them were kissing. At the sight of this, John felt his heart begin to pound, and everything seemed to slow down- the music died away into a background murmur, and he only heart the loud, steady ba-bump, ba-bump of his heart thudding wildly.

John started towards them, his hearing starting to come back- he heard Josh, Blaine and Kirk saying something and starting after him, and then Blaine yelled something to Troy, and then he and Renee broke from the kiss, and they turned around just as John reached them.

Aaaaand how does the Master Chief respond to his future bondmate’s infidelity?”

He grabbed Troy by his shirt, and hauled him up off the floor.

… of course.”

Fucking Halight Counter: 56

Terrible Troy Counter: 112

After some yelling, he does eventually let the poor man go, and refocuses his attention on Renee.

“What are you doing?” she asked, her voice a high pitched squeal, “Don’t hurt him!”

“You don’t know what you’re saying,” John told her, his shoulders heaving with anger, “You don’t know what you’re doing. Come with me.” He grabbed her by the wrist, and pulled her along behind him. Renee, who couldn’t fight against him, started to cry.

Motherfucking Halight Counter: 57

Behind them, Troy got unsteadily to his feet, and seemed intent on charging after John, but quickly, his friends restrained him.

“Lemme kill that bastard, ” he drawled.

You know, that’s a capital idea!”

“Whoa, LT, settle down.”

“You don’t wanna fight him.”

“He’d kill you, come with us.”

You know, he very probably would.”

*AdmiralSakai’s voice echos from the cybernetics lab at the end of the hall.*

Oh, not after I’m done with you he wouldn’t…

Terrible Troy Counter: 113

Troy, instantly swayed, nodded drunkenly and allowed his friends to lead him off.

“I’m so confused!” Renee was sobbing to John, “What are you doing? You hated me.”

Because threatening to punch her friends and dragging her away with him against her will runs totally counter to that hypothesis.

John allowed her to drabble, knowing that she put no sense into her words,

And this is different from her usual behavior… how, exactly?

that the alcohol had totally altered her emotions and opinions.

Yes, definitely the alcohol, and not spending some time with comrades who genuinely care about her beyond the reach of your foul, broful influence.”

He knew that the best thing was to get her out of here, for her sake, and for his own. He was so angry at Troy, that everything was telling him to go back there and kill him. This, by far had been the worst he’d done.

Ok, on one hand, no– from the narrative’s perspective, he actually assaulted her once, so this doesn’t even come close. And on the other hand, from our perspective he didn’t really do much of anything!

Terrible Troy Counter: 114

He paused momentarily at the bar to tell Amy he was taking Renee back to the base, but Amy was passed out, lying on the bar counter snoring. He glanced to the bartender, who gave him a shrug. John gave up, and he took Renee outside, onto the darkened streets.

Because leaving your unconscious comrades behind is definitely what soldiers do.”

Not many cars were going by, and he pushed her up against the wall.



“I don’t feel good,” Renee muttered, holding her head, “I… don’t know… why are you here… “

Good question, actually. This is shaping up to be yet another plot cul-de-sac.”

So, Edward just does what he should have done to begin with and tells Renee the whole sequence of the Kelly arc, she pukes her guts out for a paragraph or two, and then (of course) he picks her up and carries her back to the base while she passes the fuck out.

Motherfucking Halight Counter: 56

Her sleeping expression was so innocent, he knew that he couldn’t ever be mad at her even if he tried- but as far as he was concerned, she hadn’t done anything wrong besides deciding to drink.

The moment she tasted that Demon Rum, though… it set her right on the path to wickedness, yes indeedie…

It was ultimately Troy’s fault; he was the one who took advantage of her being drunk.

Terrible Troy Counter: 115

John didn’t know much about this type of field, but he knew well enough that it was a horrible thing to take advantage of anyone- especially a man of a woman, when they were drunk.

Ummm… I mean, yeah, but one that’s not really what was going on, and two while I would imagine the male-on-female variant still being more common (seeing as human civilian culture in the 2550s is actually kind of freakishly similar to the 2010s) that doesn’t make it any more objectionable than the converse.

He shuddered when he thought of what other plans Troy was hoping to try with her.

“You mean the ones he gave no indication of during a mating process that pretty much moved at Kilburn’s own pace?”

His anger rose, but then he exhaled a deep breath and it went down again.

John was particularly proud of that he only had thrown Troy to the floor, for if he had put up a fight-  or any of Troy’s friends, it wouldn’t have been a good ending to the scenario at all.

When John arrived back at the base, it was quiet and mostly everyone was asleep.

And, of course, nobody in the city (including the perimeter guards who are presumably stationed at the entrance to the base even though none are ever described) finds a freakish giant in exercise clothes carrying an unconscious Marine over his shoulder at all odd.”

He quietly walked down the hallway towards the Spartans’ mess, cradling Renee in his arms. She was still asleep- and the whole half-hour walk it took him to get there, she hadn’t so much as stirred. He guessed that the whiskey-soda really tuckered her out.

That, or she somehow drank way too much and is currently dying from alcohol poisoning. But who cares about that?

John could smell the alcohol off of her, and it kind of reeked, it wasn’t her usual smell. He hoped that when she woke up sober, that she would vow to never drink again, for it was just a recipe for disaster.

Or a recipe for another PSA, which would arguably be worse.”

With one hand, he punched in the code for the Spartans’ mess, and the door slid open.

Is there… really not any better place he could put her? Like, an actual barracks for regular troops or something? That isn’t a restricted area she does not have clearance for?

The majority of the Spartans were still not sleeping, and they all looked up to him as walked in, holding Renee in his arms. Their eyes followed as he carried her over to his bed, and laid her down, but no one spoke a word. John tucked her beneath the blankets, avoiding looking at Linda or Kelly as he did. He rose to full height, and glanced around the room at the other Spartans, who quickly looked away or looked down- pretending that they weren’t looking at him. None of them protested.

He finally rested his gaze on Kelly, who was sitting on the side of her bed furthest away from his, with her back to him. John knew that she saw him bring Renee in, and he expected her to object the moment

Renee was in the room, but she didn’t. She didn’t even move.

John gently moved Renee over a little, so there was enough room for him to lay down beside her on his side. He put his arm around her small, warm body,

Dude, there’s, like, fifty other people in here.

and he just had his eyes closed, when he heard Kelly’s voice break the silence.


He waited a moment before replying.


There was another pause from Kelly.

“I’m sorry.”

“Sorry you had to end up like this, that is.”

John nodded, and closed his eyes again.

“Acknowledged, ” he replied.

After that, there were no more words spoken, and John fell asleep.


Come back next time to witness… well, not a whole heckuva lot, and at the same time the most important post in the riff.


14 Comments on “1694: Love of a Spartan – Chapter Twenty-Six”

  1. BatJamags says:

    A blue flashing neon sign wasmounted above the doors, stating the name of the bar.

    The fic can’t even be bothered to name it? Now that’s just lazy.

  2. BatJamags says:

    Fifteen minutes passed and the three friends drank and socialized at the bar- and the effects were nearly felt in full force. Amy was noticeably drunk, her eyes looked glazed and everything to her seemed highly amusing, but she insisted – despite Troy’s objections – on ordering another glass for herself.

    This is the driest description of drunken partying ever.

  3. BatJamags says:

    “You know, I’ve really missed you,” she announced, giggling, “Like you know, I missed you Troy, I really did. Remember those times? I missed you . “

    Oh god, we’re in an independent film. This is why you don’t let your actors improvise their lines!

  4. BatJamags says:

    That’s when a certain Spartan walked in the front door.

    Aaaaaaaand contrived drama strikes again.

  5. BatJamags says:

    “Renee shouldn’t be drinking this,” he declared, “Neither should you, Amy. This is irresponsible behavior; you clearly aren’t in your right frame of mind.”

    OK, I thought it was just sloppy writing, but this really is turning into a PSA.

  6. AmyXFuckShitOTP says:

    This chapter contains potential flamebait in the form of discussion of sexual assault

    I feel like there should be a counter for this by now…

  7. AmyXFuckShitOTP says:

    Her hands were on her lap but she was wringing them nervously, cracking her knuckles and twisting and contorting her fingers

    Is this some kind of new-age finger yoga for the enlightened?

  8. TacoMagic says:

    dangerous levels of decibels

    I fucking warned you people about the one minute clap, but nooooooooooo.

  9. TacoMagic says:

    “– so neither of us are really qualified to say for sure, but that doesn’t sound like especially ‘great stuff’ to me. In fact, it sounds fairly average.”

    Generally speaking, if your whiskey and soda is in a big cup, then no, it’s not great stuff. In fact, great whiskey is served by itself in a small tumbler, sometimes with ice if you’re not a purist. Adding soda to top-shelf whiskey is grounds for a legal stabbing in some places.

    However, depending on how many you’ve already had, your idea of “great stuff” tends to wander a tad as the night goes on.

    • TacoMagic says:

      Now, based on what I was able to dig up, the ‘soda’ in a whiskey and soda is club soda. So I’m not entirely sure what would be ‘sweet’ in it.

      Depends. Bottom or middling-shelf whiskey is sometimes diluted with Coke (Jack and Coke being the most well known dilution) to mask the flavor of the poor quality liquor. Club soda is often used to dilute higher-quality stuff, but is not very common among younger drinkers.

  10. TacoMagic says:

    “Oh Christ, yes,” Troy said with a sigh. Amy had somehow gotten her hands on an entire quart of moonshine and wasn’t sober for two days afterwards .

    Huh, that’s a weird way to spell “died from alcohol poisoning.”

    • GhostCat says:

      Or some other kind of poisoning, depending on how many corners the moonshiner cut during production. If you’re lucky, it’s just something relatively harmless like chicken poop, but if you’re less lucky there could be something like methanol or even battery acid in the mix.

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