1645: Happiness, Not Money Host Club(Kyoya)XReader – Oneshot

Title: Happiness, Not Money Host Club(Kyoya)XReader
Author: shigurefan101
Media: Anime/Manga
Topic: Ouran High School Host Club
Genre: Romance/Drama
URL: Chapter 1
Critiqued by Ghostcat 

 

Hello, gracious Patrons!

I hope everyone has been having a fantastic new year so far, because I’m back with another Reader fic. This one comes to us from the Ouran High School Host Club section of ff.net and, as you can tell from that trainwreck of a title, it features my favorite character Kyoya-senpai!

Let’s take a look at the summary, shall we?

You become best friends with the host club, the whole time not knowing Kyoya’s enormous crush on you.

:barely suppressed fangirl squee:

Ummm, sorry. Please continue.

When things finally start to happen between you two, both yours and Kyoya’s father separate you due to social standing. What does fate have in store for you two love birds?

Looks like someone’s been dipping into the Big-Bag-O-Overused-Romance-Tropes. Too bad they did make a pit stop at the Grammar Shop.

It looks like I’m going to become besties with the entire host club, Kyoya-senpai is going to fall madly in love with me :squee!: but unfortunately our families are going to split us up because contrived circumstances are contrived. After that we’ll either die tragically in a double suicide a la Romeo and Juliet, or we’ll get together despite our parents being assholes. That’s asking a lot of a one chapter fic.

Better buckle in, Patrons; I have a feeling that things are going to get fast and stupid.

You were an extange student in Japan.

…I was? Awesome! When was this?

You had gotten invited to go to a rich school, even though your family in (Country) wasn’t even close to being ‘rich’.

:terrible faux-Russian accent: In (Country), we eat dirt and live under pile of rocks we share with entire village.

You wandered around the school, trying to find a place to practice your guitar.

Wait a second, I can play the guitar? I mean, I really can – but I haven’t in years so I’m not very good at it. Is that why I’m looking for a place to practice?

The teachers said that all of the music room had a piano and other various instruments in them, but so far, you haven’t found any music rooms.

But apparently I have found a tense shift.

You finally came across one, Music Room 3. ‘Finally’ you thought.

The rooms are labeled and I still had trouble finding one? I am just a bucket of stupid, aren’t I?

You opened up the door to the music room. You expected to find a piano, but instead, you found 7

:THWACK!:

boys either sitting on a couch or standing right beside it. “Welcome to the Host Club” they all said in unison.

Ah, speaking in unison – the lazy writer’s best friend when it comes to writing dialogue.

“Uh, sorry i was just looking for a- WAH!” You pulled in by a blonde-haired man with violet eyes.

Sorry, I’m doing what with the blonde boy with the anime eyes?

“You play piano don’t you?” he asked

No, sorry. I know people who can play, but I never learned.

“Uh, yeah, how did you know?”

Don’t listen to me, I’m a frickin’ liar!

“I overheard you talking to your teacher.” he said rather mysteriously.

Yeah, that’s not at all creepy.

He pulled you over to a piano and sat next to you. “Play” he said.

Screw you, you’re not the boss of me.

You played, and all the boys in the room clapped when you finished.

Damn. I did not know I could do that.

Then the blonde played. He was good pianist!

If the blonde boy is Tamaki-senpai, then he isn’t merely good – his playing is so beautiful that it can move people to tears.

“I’m Tamaki” he said when he finished playing. “And this is the host club; me, Kyoya, Hikaru and Karu, Mori and Honey, and Haruhi.

I guess it’s up to me to guess who is who, since he doesn’t indicate which person he’s naming and the narration doesn’t give any descriptions of them.

And what might your name be princess?” Tamaki asked.

Well, some people call me Maurice…

“My name is (Name).

No, it’s Ghostie; I think I know my own name. Unless Whirlybat’s gotten into the fic again.

And hey don’t ever call me princess AGAIN.”

Who spit in my cornflakes this morning? I don’t really have a problem with someone calling me Princess, or really anything at all as long as it’s meant well.

The host club was surprised. No one ever refused being called princess before (except Haruhi of course).

I don’t remember her ever saying anything like that. Tamaki-senpai is predisposed to using overly flowerly language, but Haruhi is not afraid to call him out on his bullshit.

Well then darling.

If I didn’t like it when he called me princess, then how badly will I freak out when he calls me darling?

What host do you request then?” asked Tamaki.

“Request, WHAT?!” you were thoroughly confused be this point.

Understandable, If I’ve never been to a host club before. I’m supposed to be an exchange student, so I’m probably not familiar with what a host club is since there aren’t many outside of Japan.

“You pick a host, and that is the host you stay with until your session in up.

You kind of make this sound like a brothel, dude.

You mainly drink tea and converse with them” said a boy with black hair and glasses.

Now it sounds less like a brothel and more like a visit to the therapist.

“Or if you pick me and Mori then you get to eat cake!” said a little blonde haired boy with brown eyes.

I think I’d be able to eat cake regardless of which host I picked, you’re just better known for overindulging in sweets.

He looked and sounded like he was supposed to be in 3rd grade.

:THWACK!:

No numerals, me!

You really wanted to leave at this point. A Host Club? Seriously?

How do I know what that is? Did my host family sit me down and go over the current trends among single professional women in Japan? That’s the demographic that most host clubs are geared towards.

How immature could these boys possibly be.

If they are anything like regular boys, then … Quite a lot.

While you were making a decision, about fifteen girls came in.

See? I can use numbers rather than numerals! Good job, me!

:gives self a redemption cookie:

In the end, you decided to go with the two twins,

Which would be a surprise, since this is the first time that it’s been mentioned that any of the host club members are twins.

which you quickly figured out was a terrible mistake, they were what the other fangirls called ‘twincest’, and it was really annoying to you.

I guess I can tell which characters the author doesn’t like.

After your ‘session’, you left as quickly as you could, grabbing your guitar on the way out. You were late…really late.

I am? What am I late for, little white rabbit?

You were meeting you band in a cafe just outside of the school campus.

Wait, I have a band? I’m an exchange student in a foreign country, but I managed to start and/or join a band?

You had to make money somehow. And playing gigs in a band was just the way.

And it’s a band that actually gets paying gigs?!?

It must be because I’m a novelty, coming from (Country) as I do, because this seems very unlikely to me.

You met your drummer and keyboard player outside.

Who apparently don’t have names or physical appearances.

You explained your situation and they were just glad you were OK.

Was I ever in any danger? They were serving me tea and trying to flirt with me!

You had never been late to any gigs or practices before.

But I’m late now because I was hanging out with a pair of cute boys that I didn’t even like very much.

You sat your equipment up, and once your band started playing, you brought in quite a few customers.

Literally? Did I go out on the sidewalk and drag people into this … wherever it is that we are playing? And I did it while I was playing the guitar?

You couldn’t help but think about earlier. The only sane ones in that host club were the two black-haired boys, and the short one with brown hair. Although to you he seemed a little feminine.

:headdesk:

I kind of know who the fic is talking about, but anyone who isn’t familiar with the characters would have no idea who is who. Even I’m just guessing, since the majority of the characters have black or dark brown hair.

Reality brought you back when you missed your queue

Why am I standing in line while I’m playing a gig with my band and dragging customers in off of the street? And how can I even multi-task like that?

and had to wait another 4

:THWACK!:

measures before you could start singing.

Because of course I would be the band’s singer.

Half way through the night, the 7

:THWACK!:

boys you met earlier waked into the restaurant.

I thought we were playing in a cafe or something?

They stood in awe as they watched you play your guitar and sing.

I’m dazzling them with the sheer power of my Sueness.

6 of the boys liked you.

:THWACK!:

All but the brunet that was in touch with his feminine side.

I assume that’s supposed to be Haruhi, who is the least feminine of the bunch. There’s a reason she can easily pass for a guy.

They all stared at you for a while.

Because I’m just so damn awesome that even cute boys who have spent their after-school free time professionally flirting with pretty girls can’t stop paying attention to me.

None of them could have guessed you were such a good guitar player.

Tamaki-senpai somehow knew that I could play the piano perfectly, why didn’t he know about my ability to play the guitar? I was walking around with a guitar in my hand and looking for a music room to practice in when they met me!

That was the night you became best friends with the host club

Based solely on them observing me as I perform for a group of unknown size.

-Yeah that’s right Gilbird left Hetalia land just to bring you a time skip-

…Wha?

It was the start of a new year- you couldn’t wait to start school and see all your friends.

Am I still an exchange student? Because I don’t think the exchanges last for very long.

You left for the summer to go back to (country) to see your family.

They were very happy to see me; many rats were slaughtered for the feast.

But now that school was starting, you’d be able to see your good friends that belonged to Ouran academy’s host club.

I’m so excited I can’t pick a tense.

Last year you had found out a TON of secrets about the host club.

That apparently weren’t important enough to show the audience, so I’m just going to tell them about it in a daybook entry.

The biggest one being the fact that Haruhi was a girl. That made sense to you.

It’s not like she makes a special effort to hide it, she genuinely doesn’t care if she is perceived as male or female. The only reason she goes along with the host club’s insistence that she act like a boy is because she owes them a lot of money that she has to pay back through the host club’s activities.

You walked into music room 3 and was greeted by the 7 host club members.

:THWACK!:

I’m only thwacking for the seven, not the three, because that’s how it is written on the music room’s sign.

They were so surprised to see you.

Did they not know I was coming back to school? You’d think that would be something that I would share with my closest friends. How did they not know I was back in Japan? Did I immediately leave for (Country) the day school ended and not return until the day classes began?

They all ran over to you (Mori and Kyoya fast walked) and hugged you.

:THWACK!:

Why is there a parenthetical statement in the middle of the sentence?!? And why does the entire host club act as a singular Character Blob all the time?

You had gotten used to whole ‘hosting’ programme, and requested Kyoya, since you hadn’t requested him for a long time.

Because nothing says “deep and enduring friendship” like paying someone to hang out with you for an hour or so.

When you told him you’d requested him, he blushed, which is something you thought he’d only do unless his rich father told him too for a higher social status.

I … I don’t understand. I don’t think Kyoya-senpai would blush unless he was ordered to do so by his father because … that would enhance his social status? Dōyatte?

He sat with you, and had a nice conversation, as always.

Treating me like all of the other customers. So romantic.

After all you hot club friends finished all their sessions, you decided it would be nice to all go out together.

I decided for everyone unilaterally, with no feedback from those who are supposed to be my closest friends.

You all went to a dance club, and the band there was awesome.

It can’t be that awesome – I wasn’t in it.

At one point, the singer requested someone who speak English come up and sing.

:headdesk:

I spoke too soon.

With out hesitation, you put your hand up (you were a very out-going person).

No, I’m really not. That’s not even close to being accurate.

There was only one or two people besides you there who could speak English.

Well, this is supposed to be in Japan; English is taught in schools but it isn’t really used that much by the general population.

They picked you, since you were (Nationality).

So I was only chosen because the band is xenophobic? I don’t care how good the jerkasses are, I’m not singing with them.

You went up and sang ‘Don’t Stop Believing’ by Journey.

DAMMIT, ME!

Why did I pick an early 1980s American power ballad to sing to a group of Japanese people who are probably mostly in their late teens or early twenties? They’ve probably never heard of it before.

Your 7 friends knew you could easily sing it, but others were unsure.

:THWACK!:

Are these “others” that don’t know if I can sing this particular song the band I’m singing with? They really only have themselves to blame – they yanked a total stranger out of the audience to sing with them based solely on my ability to speak English and because I’m (Nationality). And do they even know how to play the song themselves? Why did they even let me pick out the song at random rather than coming to a mutual agreement based on songs we all knew?

You sang it, no problem.

:headdesk:

Of course I did. I’m the Sue, after all. I’m still wondering how the band managed to follow along.

The band was so impressed, that they asked you to sing a bunch of American/British hits.

Of course they did! Because that’s something that happens all the frickin’ time at nightclubs!

At the end of their gig, they asked you to sign with them.

:headdesk:

Of course they did! Because that’s also something that happens all the time at nightclubs. Dance club bands are always asking random high school kids to join them.

You agreed, since your other band broke up over a year ago.

Poor Nameless Keyboard Player and Nameless Drummer couldn’t handle my level of awesomeness.

You walked out from the backstage area and joined your friends.

After tripping over a suitcase full of gold bricks, no doubt.

Of course, they congratulated you as you assumed they would, being your dorky friends of yours.

Shower your Empress with praise, lowly sycophants!

You all hung out for a while. Eventually, 6 out of the 7 of the hosts got up to go dance.

:THWACK!:

:THWACK!:

Are they dancing with each other, or did they select dates from my crowd of admirers?

You would usually go to, but with singing and guitar playing, you were a little tired.

Yeah, being this awesome is absolutely exhausting.

Being the gentleman-like aristocrat he was, Kyoya stayed with you to defend you against anyone who tried to take advantage of you (that happened a lot).

Wait, what? Does that mean people are constantly trying to assault me, or is this “taking advantage” in the sense that they want to join my entourage and become human leeches?

AND WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP WITH THE PARENTHETICAL STATEMENTS!

You sat there together making small talk, eventually leading to silence.

If you can manage to find silence in a nightclub with a live band and dancing, I’ll eat a teddy bear.

Kyoya was the one to break that silence.

No, that was probably the band.

He grabbed your hand and pulled you up to roof of the building where there was modern looking garden that you knew so well, because you came to that club at least once a week.

But I’m tired from being so awesome! Can’t he just awkwardly grope me in the club bathroom like a normal horny boy?

To your surprise, there was no one up there.

Despite being on top of a busy nightclub in a densely populated city that is probably Tokyo.

He sat you down on one of the swanky benches and sat next to you.

Let me guess – he’s going to hold my hand, talk about his feelings, and then move in for a chaste kiss while string music plays softly in the background?

He was so close to you, you could feel how hard he was shaking.

Does he want to be left alone with the bench for a few minutes? I can go get him a few napkins if he needs them.

Was this the same Kyoya you came to be friends with? He was usually so calm and collected.

Oh noes! He’s being affected by my massive Sue aura!

“(Name), I have to tell you something. I…I really liked it when you requested me today.”

“It really helped me reach my weekly quota. Thanks.”

(You had nicknames for them all- Kyoya’s is stupid I know it’s cos of his brown eyes)

Okay, that definitely looks like an Author’s Note jammed into the narration.

:THWACK!:

“Oh no problem Kocoa.” He blushed when he heard you say his nickname, which made you laugh.

In Japanese, “brown eyes” would be “chairo metsuki”, which sounds nothing like Kyoya-senpai’s name. Nor does “kokoa” (which is the drink cocoa or hot chocolate) really sound like “Kyoya”, either.

“I…It’s not funny I REALLY LIKE YOU.” You stared at him with shock, which made him hang his head down.

Does that mean …

:gasps:

SENPAI NOTICED ME?!?

:SQUEE!:

“I…take it you…don’t feel…the same” he said sadly.

Must … Suppress… Urge… To … Hug… Sad senpai…

You kissed his cheek, making his blush redder than the red circle on the Japanese flag.

That seems like a culturally insensitive remark to make at such a delicate time.

“I like you too. I just thought that you wouldn’t like me cos we’re so different.” It’s true, you did have a little thing for Kyoya.

Which apparently isn’t important enough to have established in any way, just like his alleged feelings for me that have just popped up like dandelions on a freshly mowed lawn.

He looked up at you, cupped your cheeks, and kissed you.

:squee!:

:clears throat: Sorry, it’s a reflex.

It relaxed him a bit when you kissed back.

Instead of what, biting him on the nose?

He licked your bottom lip, asking for permission to kiss you more passionately, which you granted almost instantly.

I granted him permission? How? Did he need a written note, or did he just assume a lack of nose-biting indicates my assent?

He pushed you back on the bench, kissing you harder and with more passion.

And possibly giving me a concussion when I hit the bench, depending on how swanky it is.

Eventually you had to pull back for air,

Which is going to be difficult, since I’m apparently now on my back under him.

and when you did he said, “I love you.”

D’awww!

This was something you thought you’d never hear him say. “I love you too. But wait, won’t your father get mad? I’m anything but wealthy you know.”

Wait, why is Kyoka-senpai concerned that my father will get mad at him? I thought I was the poor one here?

He looked down at you and smiled. “I don’t care what my father thinks.”

Oh, I get it – I was concerned about what Kyoya-senpai’s father would think! Sorry, with all the dialogue smooshed into the paragraph like that it’s hard to know who is saying what.

-New York Times Skip-

:repeatedly headdesks:

You and Kyoya had been going out for about six months now.

What the hell tense am I even using now?

School was ending in a week, and this was your last year at Ouran.

It looks as if I just fulfilled a childhood fantasy – fast-forwarding through an entire school year.

You would do ANYTHING to stay here in Japan,

Including prostitution or selling an organ? Because I think I would have qualms about that.

but your family wanted you to go home, considering you’d have no place to go after school ended.

I dunno about that; I could probably take the JLPTs (Japanese Language Proficiency Test) while I’m at school and then apply with companies in the area. Of course, I probably want to focus on my music and land a big recording deal first, so I should get that out of the way before I start on any practical goals.

The host club suggested you stayed with Kyoya, but figured his dad would kill him if he found out that he was in a relationship with a girl from a middle-classed family in (Country).

It probably would upset him, unless he assumed Kyoya-senpai was just having an affair to sow a few wild oats.

But Kyoya loved that idea.

Really? How does he plan on making that work? Is he just going to hide me in his closet like a stray puppy that followed him home?

When he heard that idea, he did an ‘excited jump’ that would have easily put Tamaki’s to shame.

“Yay! Unlimited access to nookie!”

So you were going to meet his father today after school.

I was? I mean, I am? Why am I doing that?

To be honest, you were REALLY nervous. You got in the fancy black car with Kyoya, and drove off. When you got there, you were a bit shocked.

Must be a really nice car.

Kyoya told you that he lived in big house, but didn’t imagine it being as big as it was. Kyoya led you inside, and up to his room.

:porno music blasts out of the Library speakers:

I was wondering where the girls had gotten off to.

His room alone was as big as your house back home in (Country). He smiled when he saw your shocked face.

So we’ve been friends for about a year and have been dating for six months, but he never once brought me to his house.

I am suspicious of Kyoya-senpai’s motives.

After a few minutes, he left you to go talk to his father in his office.

Kyoya-senpai has his own office?

After about 20 minutes,

:THWACK!:

Kyoya came back to get you and he looked somewhat annoyed.

Oh, that’s not good.

You walked into the large office and saw Kyoya’s father and your own father.

My father who lives in (Country)? What is he doing here?

Kyoya sat you down in the chair next to his, and let go of your hand once.

Just once? Does that mean he immediately picked it back up?

He explained to you- your father had no problem with letting you stay there, and, Kyoya said that he even wanted you to marry him.

Of course he does. How could he resist this much awesome?

You would of course said yes in a heartbeat, and that your father was perfectly fine with that.

Good to know, but I’m an adult and I don’t need my father to sign off on my choice of spouse.

But Kyoya’s father, on the other hand, didn’t want that-only because of your social standing.

Yeah, but he’s a jerkass.

He bribed your father with $500,000

:THWACK!:

to not let him let you marry his son.

Ummm… He offered the bribe to my father – not to me, but to my father – so that my father would refuse Kyoya-senpai when Kyoya-senpai asked me to marry him? If I’m a minor then my father can refuse permission, but then it’s just a waiting game until I gain my legal majority. Once I’m legally an adult, no one can tell me who I can or cannot marry if I so desire to do so. Asking a girl’s father for permission is mostly just tradition, some women would even get very angry with their partner if they participated in such a misogynistic custom.

Which, having a poor family, he was persuaded with.

I don’t blame him, really. Free trip to Japan and a guy handing over half a million dollars free and clear? I’d do it, too. But like I said – there’s nothing stopping us from just waiting until we are legal adults and getting married anyway.

Oh, wait; the plot’s going to stop us, isn’t it? Dammit! I wanna marry my husbando!

And when everything was explained to you, you were told to go outside and say your final goodbyes to Kyoya, for this would be the last time you would ever see each other.

But school doesn’t end for another week, so I probably will see him again.

When outside, he held both of your hands in his and stared into your (e/c) eyes. He closed his eyes and kissed you, which you returned. When you pulled away for air, you started crying. He wiped away your tears, trying not to cry himself.

We’ve been dating for six months and haven’t figured out how to breathe while kissing? We must not kiss very much, then.

“Please don’t cry, I know, despite what they say, we’ll see each again.”

Probably tomorrow, at school.

You hugged him and buried your head in his chest. He put his head on top of yours, and petted your soft hair. Now you both were crying.

Weren’t we both already crying? Are we now extra-crying?

You closed your eyes, hoping that it make the longer.

If we’re snuggling together, then it probably is doing something to his the.

But it didn’t; Next thing you knew you and Kyoya were screaming for each other as you were being pried apart by your fathers.

Yeesh, aren’t we a pair of ddrama llamas? Why are we acting like sulky toddlers being forced to go to bed?

That was all you remembered of that horrid moment before you woke up in your tiny bedroom at home.

Wait, am I back in (Country)? Did I black out the entire trip?

-Time Skip-

Awww, you couldn’t find a sponsor for this time skip? GOOD!

It had been 6 years since you last saw Kyoya.

:THWACK!:

Six years and I still haven’t learned not to use numerals in my narration.

You had recently moved to Boston, hoping to start a new life after you got out of college.

That doesn’t sound like something I’d do. Do you know how cold it gets up North? It SNOWS there! Like, every year! No, thank you.

You walked down the streets one fine afternoon. It was a beautiful day-sunny and calm with only a few clouds in the sky.

You forgot to give the relative humidity.

You weren’t paying much to the world around you, until someone that seemed rather familiar to you walked past you.

If I’m not paying attention, then how do I know that someone familiar just walked past me?

He was Japanese, had black hair, brown eyes and wire-framed glasses.

That description could match a very large portion of the male Japanese population.

He held a cat in one arm and an iPhone in the other hand.

Why is he carrying a cat down the street? It is possible to leash-train a cat, but most of the time they are transported in a carrier, not in your hands, due to the fact that they are fluffy balls of delight tipped with razor-sharp knives.

“Kocoa?” you asked. He froze and looked up at you.

Huh?

Oh, that was his nickname! I had forgotten all about it.

-Kyoya’s POV-

:headdesk:

Did I suddenly transform into Kyoya-senpai, or did this suddenly stop being a Reader fic?

Someone with a familiar voice called my name. But not just my first name, the name (Name) used to call me…my nickname.

Yeah, it’s probably the second one. Why is the fic doing that?

I looked up and saw a young woman with (h/c) hair and (e/c) eyes. She was beautiful.

I know; my hair-colored hair and my eye-colored eyes makes for a stunning combination.

I thought for a minute- could it really be her? “(Name)?” I asked. She smiled. It WAS HER! I couldn’t believe it.

I know, right? It’s almost like it is an incredibly contrived coincidence that I happen to be in this city and you happened to be in this city – despite the fact that Boston is a fourteen hour plane trip from Japan – at the exact same moment and happened to be on the same street even though Boston is a big frickin’ place where over half a million people live and work.

I couldn’t help but smile like an idiot myself. Now that I found her again, I think my empty can now be complete again.

Dude, we haven’t seen each other for six years. I’m not doing anything to your can, empty or otherwise.

My father wanted me to marry this girl who couldn’t do anything for herself, and she was annoying and EXTREMELY petty.

I thought your father didn’t want you to marry me, but now you’re saying that he does?

That wasn’t going to happen.

Now I’m really confused.

I had been living alone for years after (Name) left,

I didn’t leave, I was dragged away mid-tantrum.

while my father tried to get me to marry rich women who lived their lives on complaining.

Hate to break it to you, but poor women do their fair share of complaining, too.

(Name) had taught me what is was like to live in lower social status- and it wasn’t as bad as i thought it would be; tough, but modest.

Geez, that’s a little harsh. It’s like he’s saying it’s hard work being middle-class, yet not very rewarding. And I am wondering if he’s somehow abandoned all his dreams of being a successful businessman to live the life of a commoner, because that’s kind of what it looks like he’s implying.

Now that I found (Name), and I was going to marry her whether it meant wealth or not.

It’s been six years; I could already be married, or in a long-term relationship, or I could have taken some kind of solemn religious vow of chastity. I mean, I probably haven’t done any of those things, because contrived romance is contrived, but he doesn’t know that. He doesn’t know anything about me, we literally just ran into each other on the street.

Extended Ending

The frickin’ hell is THAT?!?

You and Kyoya eventually got married,

:squee!:

much to his father’s displeasure.

And much to the surprise of absolutely no one. We just skimmed through the relationship, touched briefly on the break-up and reunion, and now we’re slamming straight into marriage.

He cut him off of his money, and Kyoya became a part of the working class.

Gah, this pronoun use is so confuzzling! And I thought Kyoya-senpai liked being a commoner?

It was his first job EVER, before just getting money from his family.

But earlier he was saying that it wasn’t so bad living like a poor person … Wait a second. No real job, just lived off his family, but enjoyed pretending to be a poor person – was Kyoya-senpai a hipster?!?

You had to move out of Boston once you had children, because it cost to much to live.

That kind of makes it sound like the city council was going to murder us because we couldn’t afford to pay them, or something like that.

You lived in a small town in California.

No, I haven’t. I’ve visited several times, though. And I’m pretty sure California is an expensive place to live.

You were still musician,

Musician no need grammarizing good.

and Kyoya worked in an office for company owned by none other that his father (that got on his father’s nerves a bit XD).

And his father didn’t fire Kyoya-senpai because … Why didn’t he do that?

What position does Kyoya-senpai hold in this company? Because I don’t think that the owner of a multi-national corporation would concern themselves with every entry-level employee. And why did Kyoya-senpai have to work at one of his family’s companies? There’s more than one business out there in the world.

Even though you were poor, you were happy. Because to the two of you, happiness was worth more than any amount of money you could ever have.

:snorts:

No offense, but only someone who has never been poor would ever say something like that. Happiness is good, but being able to afford groceries and pay the water bill is even better.

 

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94 Comments on “1645: Happiness, Not Money Host Club(Kyoya)XReader – Oneshot”

  1. AdmiralSakai says:

    “Uh, sorry i was just looking for a- WAH!” You pulled in by a blonde-haired man with violet eyes.

    Sorry, I’m doing what with the blonde boy with the anime eyes?

    Pulling in. Apparently we were driving around the school in a car this whole time.

  2. AdmiralSakai says:

    What host do you request then?” asked Tamaki.

    “Request, WHAT?!” you were thoroughly confused be this point.

    Understandable, If I’ve never been to a host club before. I’m supposed to be an exchange student, so I’m probably not familiar with what a host club is since there aren’t many outside of Japan.

    Up until like the last third of Tomorrow is Always Better I still thought it had something to do with parasitism.

  3. AdmiralSakai says:

    “You pick a host, and that is the host you stay with until your session in up.

    You kind of make this sound like a brothel, dude.

    I hate to say this, but based on the description I’ve gotten so far it kind of does sound like a brothel.

    • GhostCat says:

      Not really, the closest thing we have would be something like a strip club but instead of men giving women money and gifts in exchange for them taking off their clothes, women give well-dressed men money and gifts in exchange for flirty banter and a little pampering. That’s not to say there isn’t a little side-action going on in both cases, but it’s not really the main focus. Hosts are essentially modern day male versions of geisha.

      • AdmiralSakai says:

        That’s somehow worse. It’s like a brothel meets the old boys-want-sex-girls-want-relationships chestnut.

        • GhostCat says:

          It’s not a perfect analogy, a strip club is just the closest thing I can think of in the West that would approximate a host club. Hosts and geisha are primarily entertainers; they’re selling an illusion, a fantasy. If a bunch of businessmen were having a party they might hire a geisha who would pour their drinks, chat with them, light their cigarettes, play drinking games, sing, that sort of thing. Hosts do much the same, only in a different setting.

      • AdmiralSakai says:

        It’s still the same basic idea in paying attractive people to do things for you, but lower than Hooters on the skeevy scale.

        • GhostCat says:

          Pretty much, although hosts would rank higher than geisha on the scale. Geisha are cultural icons, while hosts are a way for non-traditional Japanese women to avoid the hassle of maintaining a boyfriend.

  4. AdmiralSakai says:

    When you told him you’d requested him, he blushed, which is something you thought he’d only do unless his rich father told him too for a higher social status.

    I … I don’t understand. I don’t think Kyoya-senpai would blush unless he was ordered to do so by his father because … that would enhance his social status? Dōyatte?

    According to the sentence, I thought that the only thing Kyoya would ever do is blush, unless his father told him to do so to raise his social status.

  5. AdmiralSakai says:

    Being the gentleman-like aristocrat he was, Kyoya stayed with you to defend you against anyone who tried to take advantage of you (that happened a lot).

    WHAT

  6. AdmiralSakai says:

    “Oh no problem Kocoa.” He blushed when he heard you say his nickname, which made you laugh.

    In Japanese, “brown eyes” would be “chairo metsuki”, which sounds nothing like Kyoya-senpai’s name. Nor does “kokoa” (which is the drink cocoa or hot chocolate) really sound like “Kyoya”, either.

    It does, however, sound very much like “cloaca”.

  7. AdmiralSakai says:

    -New York Times Skip-

    The part where I skip over the sex scene and instead read the New York Times

  8. AdmiralSakai says:

    To be honest, you were REALLY nervous. You got in the fancy black car with Kyoya, and drove off. When you got there, you were a bit shocked.

    Must be a really nice car.

    Or one with a faulty electrical system.

  9. AdmiralSakai says:

    He explained to you- your father had no problem with letting you stay there, and, Kyoya said that he even wanted you to marry him.

    Of course he does. How could he resist this much awesome?

    You would of course said yes in a heartbeat, and that your father was perfectly fine with that.

    I just agreed to marry my father?

  10. AdmiralSakai says:

    That was all you remembered of that horrid moment before you woke up in your tiny bedroom at home.

    I live in a tiny-house? That is horrid! No wonder I want to move to Japan!

  11. AdmiralSakai says:

    Extended Ending

    The frickin’ hell is THAT?!?

    An ending that requires Kyoya to be extended?

  12. BatJamags says:

    Happiness, Not Money

    Sounds like a nightmare.

  13. BatJamags says:

    When things finally start to happen between you two, both yours and Kyoya’s father separate you due to social standing. What does fate have in store for you two love birds?

    Ripping off Shakespeare is a dangerous game, since there’s like a 99.999999% chance he’s a better writer than you are. It’s been done, but I have a hunch that this author’s no Akira Kurosawa.

  14. BatJamags says:

    You were an extange student in Japan.

    …I was? Awesome! When was this?

    And what’s an extange student?

  15. BatJamags says:

    even though your family in (Country) wasn’t even close to being ‘rich’.

    Ooh, I haven’t come up with a country for Whirlybat. They’re from the German-speaking country of Flubbertybubble, hence the “von.”

  16. BatJamags says:

    You wandered around the school, trying to find a place to practice your guitar.

    Did no one bother to show our plucky Flubbertybubblian extange student around the school? Rude, Japan.

  17. BatJamags says:

    You opened up the door to the music room. You expected to find a piano, but instead, you found 7

    When you cut off this quote, I read it as finding seven pianos instead of one, which really just seems kind of excessive.

  18. BatJamags says:

    Welcome to the Host Club” they all said in unison.

    Assuming this was some sort of cult from the creepy chanting, Whirlybat promptly got the hell out of there.

  19. BatJamags says:

    blonde-haired man

    Blond. James Blond. That’s a gendered word, even though it makes no sense for it to be and English mostly doesn’t have those outside of pronouns.

    If I’m correct, English has more words than any other language, and somehow none of them make any sense. For the international trade language, there are so many little exceptions to all the rules that it must be a pain in the ass to learn as a second language.

    • GhostCat says:

      I didn’t realize how truly whack-ass English was until I learned another language, but now I feel incredibly sorry for anyone who learns it as a second language. Once you get over the difference in writing systems, Japanese is easy in comparison; none of that weird shit with plural nouns and only two irregular verbs.

  20. BatJamags says:

    No, sorry. I know people who can play, but I never learned.

    “Uh, yeah, how did you know?”

    Don’t listen to me, I’m a frickin’ liar!

    So you do know how to play piano?

  21. BatJamags says:

    “I overheard you talking to your teacher.” he said rather mysteriously.

    Having realized that this cult has, in fact, been stalking him, Whirlybat proceeded to start thinking of his exit strategy.

  22. BatJamags says:

    “Play” he said.

    Creepy Asshole: Play it, Whirlybat. For old times’ sake.

    Whirlybat von Flubbertybubble:

    • BatJamags says:

      You played, and all the boys in the room clapped when you finished.

      Whirlybat von Flubbertybubble: Yeah, you better clap! I spontaneously generated epic pianist skillz for this!

  23. BatJamags says:

    And what might your name be princess?” Tamaki asked.

    Whirlybat von Flubbertybubble: Ooh, I’m a princess? I mean, I did have a half-assed love story with a queen once…

    • BatJamags says:

      And hey don’t ever call me princess AGAIN.”

      Whirlybat von Flubbertybubble: Aw, but I wanted to be a princess…

      No you don’t. It says so right there.

      Whirlybat von Flubbertybubble: OK…

  24. BatJamags says:

    No, it’s Ghostie; I think I know my own name. Unless Whirlybat’s gotten into the fic again.

    Whirlybat von Flubbertybubble: Send help.

  25. BatJamags says:

    Who spit in my cornflakes this morning? I don’t really have a problem with someone calling me Princess, or really anything at all as long as it’s meant well.

    Hell, I’d let someone call me princess, because even if it doesn’t make sense on any level, being royalty is still better than not, as far as I’m concerned.

  26. BatJamags says:

    Wait, I have a band? I’m an exchange student in a foreign country, but I managed to start and/or join a band?

    Whirlybat von Flubbertybubble: Ooh, I think I’ll call them the Readers. The other people in the band are Muffin, [DATA EXPUNGED], Rainbow Daisy, King of Kings, and agig’s weird composite Agent construct.

    • BatJamags says:

      You met your drummer and keyboard player outside.

      [DATA EXPUNGED]! Agents! What’s up?

    • agigabyte says:

      Cain: Why are all of my Agents suddenly a character blob? And tied up by a chain of interlinking books? …Geronimo. Fix the problem you made.

      *Geronimo sighs dramatically as she teleports down to the surface using one of the new site-to-site transporter-warp-hypergates and punches the Agents apart into multiple characters*

      • BatJamags says:

        (Y/N) = Agent [REDACTED]
        (F/C) = Agent [CLASSIFIED]
        (H/C) = Agent [INEXPLICABLE]
        (S/C) = Agent [GREY]
        (E/C) = Agent [BIRDBRAIN]

        They seem to have been shoved into a reader fic, separated, and then shoved back in for the sake of a joke.

  27. BatJamags says:

    It must be because I’m a novelty, coming from (Country) as I do, because this seems very unlikely to me.

    I guess the Japanese must like… (Country) music.

    Get it, because country is a-

    Whirlybat von Flubbertybubble: Yeah, I get it. And for the record, the music of my people tends to be Voidy and undescribed. Even I don’t get the appeal.

  28. BatJamags says:

    They stood in awe as they watched you play your guitar and sing.

    A vision then appeared. It was Dumbledore, entombed in his cursed mummy armor, calling Whirlybat from his Moonbase which wasn’t on a moon.

    “Whirlybat, you must rock the fuck out.”

  29. BatJamags says:

    Am I still an exchange student? Because I don’t think the exchanges last for very long.

    Extanges must be a bit longer.

  30. BatJamags says:

    You left for the summer to go back to (country) to see your family.

    Whirlybat von Flubbertybubble: I was spawned from a character blob that can separate into anything the story requires my family to be.

  31. BatJamags says:

    You had gotten used to whole ‘hosting’ programme, and requested Kyoya, since you hadn’t requested him for a long time.

    Whirlybat von Flubbertybubble: Why not? Do I not like him or something? Do I rotate through the group? Is someone else my favorite? Give me some clues, here!

  32. BatJamags says:

    When you told him you’d requested him, he blushed, which is something you thought he’d only do unless his rich father told him too for a higher social status.

    Whirlybat von Flubbertybubble: Are you OK, man? That brick hit you pretty hard.

    AND THERE’S MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM, YOU BLUSHING SON OF A BITCH!

  33. BatJamags says:

    After all you hot club friends finished all their sessions,

    Whirlybat von Flubbertybubble: I’m in a hot club? That sounds much more interesting than a host club.

  34. BatJamags says:

    At one point, the singer requested someone who speak English come up and sing.

    Why?

    Whirlybat von Flubbertybubble: I guess I’m just that great.

  35. BatJamags says:

    They picked you, since you were (Nationality).

    Whirlybat von Flubbertybubble: So, why are these Japanese people being racist against non-Flubbertybubblian English speakers? English isn’t even spoken by most Flubbertybubblians.

  36. BatJamags says:

    You agreed, since your other band broke up over a year ago.

    Whirlybat von Flubbertybubble: Well, that didn’t last long. I didn’t even get to talk to Muffin or Rainbow Daisy, King of Kings.

  37. BatJamags says:

    Of course, they congratulated you as you assumed they would, being your dorky friends of yours.

    Congratulations are dorky?

    • GhostCat says:

      your dorky friends of yours

      Crapcakes, I just noticed how redun…:DRD Agents drag Ghostie away:

      • agigabyte says:

        *DuFresne appears*

        DuFresne: In accordance with regulation 7596788, section A, which we are in accordance with, we’ll handle it from here.

        *The other DRD Agents teleport away*

        DuFresne: Idiots. I just said that you and I will handle this from here. No wonder the DRD loses all its battles.

  38. BatJamags says:

    Being the gentleman-like aristocrat he was, Kyoya stayed with you to defend you against anyone who tried to take advantage of you (that happened a lot).

    Whirlybat von Flubbertybubble: I can defend myself! *Starts striking exaggerated poses and making Bruce Lee noises* I’m warning you, assholes! I know whatever martial art the plot calls for! And I’ve been known to develop convenient superpowers!

  39. BatJamags says:

    “(Name), I have to tell you something. I…I really liked it when you requested me today.”

    Whirlybat von Flubbertybubble: Cool, I’m glad you appreciated it, now I’m going to go be awesome some more, ‘K?

  40. BatJamags says:

    “I…It’s not funny I REALLY LIKE YOU.” You stared at him with shock, which made him hang his head down.

    Whirlybat von Flubbertybubble: I mean, doesn’t everybody really like me? I am awesome, after all.

  41. BatJamags says:

    -New York Times Skip-

    Why?

  42. BatJamags says:

    His room alone was as big as your house back home in (Country). He smiled when he saw your shocked face.

    Whirlybat von Flubbertybubble: This… is a tremendous waste of space. Who designed this house, Charles Foster Kane?

    • GhostCat says:

      That’s actually one of the ways characters are depicted as being wealthy in anime and manga – they live in houses or apartments that have massive wastes of space. Poorer characters will inevitably comment on how “luxuriously wasteful” the places are. I assume it’s because Everyone Lives in Tokyo, a notoriously over-crowded city with a very high cost of living.

  43. BatJamags says:

    You walked into the large office and saw Kyoya’s father and your own father.

    Oh, hey, it’s Papa Von Flubbertybubble!

  44. BatJamags says:

    Which, having a poor family, he was persuaded with.

    Whirlybat von Flubbertybubble: Wait, am I poor or middle class? And why is this such a big issue? Is Rich Dad just trying to be an asshole because rich people are assholes? When you’re dealing with royalty or nobility, status is a Big Deal, but if you’re just rich, the only thing a stake is money, which you already have a lot of.

    • GhostCat says:

      It’s common in anime and manga; characters from rich families are expected to marry other characters from rich families in arranged marriages for the mutual benefit of both families. Very old-school feudal mindset. I’m not sure how accurate that is, fiction isn’t always a good cultural barometer, but I know arranged marriages and omiai (a kind of arranged dating with the intent of finding a spouse) are both still common.

  45. BatJamags says:

    I don’t blame him, really. Free trip to Japan and a guy handing over half a million dollars free and clear? I’d do it, too. But like I said – there’s nothing stopping us from just waiting until we are legal adults and getting married anyway.

    Which is probably why Papa von Flubbertybubble accepted the deal.

  46. BatJamags says:

    That was all you remembered of that horrid moment before you woke up in your tiny bedroom at home.

    Whirlybat von Flubbertybubble: Wow, that was a weird dream.

  47. BatJamags says:

    -Time Skip-

    Awww, you couldn’t find a sponsor for this time skip? GOOD!

    This unsponsored time skip brought you by the PLOT CONTRIVANCE CORPORATION! Need to make it to the next part of the plot? Out of sponsor (… jokes?) to stick in the unnecessary tag you use to denote this? Well, look no further than the PCC-brand GENERIC TIME SKIP, available NOW. For the low low price of only one Contacts’ wallet, you can get yours FREE for only two Contacts’ wallets. BUY NOW!

    • agigabyte says:

      Captain Jill Karina: Sir, it looks like the PCC and DCB/DCA are at war with each other.

      Cain: Good. Now, send a recording to the largest battle, set to play when it arrives, with content consisting purely of incoherent redundancies.

  48. BatJamags says:

    You had recently moved to Boston, hoping to start a new life after you got out of college.

    Whirlybat von… America: I left my home in Flubbertybubble to go to the U.S.? But now I won’t be a Von Flubbertybubble anymore!

  49. BatJamags says:

    He held a cat in one arm and an iPhone in the other hand.

    Whirlybat von America: KITTY!!!

  50. BatJamags says:

    -Kyoya’s POV-

    Whirlybat von America: I am so confused right now.

  51. BatJamags says:

    Someone with a familiar voice called my name. But not just my first name, the name Whirlybat von Flubbertybubble used to call me…my nickname. I looked up and saw a young woman with You Gotta Have Blue Hair hair and brown eyes (sha la la la la la la la la la la te ta). She was beautiful.

    Whirlybat von America: So… why am I my own boyfriend calling myself beautiful?

    If it helps, I’m as confused as you are. I really don’t know how you got into this situation, and I’m not sure we can get you out of it.

  52. BatJamags says:

    My father wanted me to marry this girl who couldn’t do anything for herself, and she was annoying and EXTREMELY petty.

    I thought your father didn’t want you to marry me, but now you’re saying that he does?

    Did you just burn yourself?

  53. BatJamags says:

    He cut him off of his money, and Kyoya became a part of the working class.

    And then he rose up and tore down the bourgeoisie.

    Whirlybat von America: Dammit, I married a communist. Am I going to have to change my name to Whirlybat von USSR?

  54. BatJamags says:

    Even though you were poor, you were happy. Because to the two of you, happiness was worth more than any amount of money you could ever have.

    Whirlybat von America: What was the point of marrying him if he’s not rich? I expected a comfortable, wealthy lifestyle, dammit!

  55. Delta XIII says:

    You were an extange student in Japan.

    …I was? Awesome! When was this?

    I’d say either the 13th of Smarch or the 1st of Octember.

  56. Swenia says:

    You and Kyoya eventually got married,

    Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. If this story is about me, we should be bumping uglies a lot right about now. Can we cover some of that!?

  57. Swenia says:

    You had to move out of Boston once you had children, because it cost to much to live.

    Goddammit! I skipped past the fun part!

  58. Swenia says:

    Being the gentleman-like aristocrat he was, Kyoya stayed with you to defend you against anyone who tried to take advantage of you (that happened a lot).

    *Snorts* I must be humoring him because he’s cute and I want in those pants.


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