1638: help me – Oneshot

 

Title: help me
Author: icesukene
Media: Video Game
Topic: Five Nights at Freddy’s
Genre: Romance
URL: Chapter 1
Critiqued by Ghostcat 

 

 

Hello, dear Patrons, and welcome to my final post of the year!

And what better way to end the year than with a Reader fic! And it’s from Five Nights at Freddy’s!

:crickets chirp:

Too bad, I’m doing it any way. I took one look at the summary and knew this would be perfect for me.

this is a mangle x reader this is where you get with mangle yes mangle is a male in this and so is the reader yes it is yaoi please enjoy my story

…I know, I have questionable tastes in literature.

There has been quite a bit of debate among the FNAF fandom as to whether or not Mangle is male or female – very vitriolic debates in some corners of the Intertubez – to the point where the series creator, Scott Cawthorn, actually had to address the issue personally;

OK. People have been asking me about Mangle’s gender for almost a year now, and I think it’s time that I finally answer the burning question about whether Mangle is a boy or a girl, so that this community can finally put the matter behind them. The answer is- Yes.

I can’t really understand why anyone would be able to assign a gender to something that looks like this;

mangle

Especially since, as a robot, Mangle’s gender would be a matter of personal choice (assuming he/she/they/it is self-aware) anyway. Still, the idea of a non-binary character in a well-received work is pretty fantastic. Since the author of this fic is insisting that Mangle is male, I’ll be using male pronouns to refer to him.

(YOUR POV.)

:headdesk:

Great, a POV Tag. Why does a Reader fic, which are usually written in the second-person need a POV Tag? At least the author used the correct form of your/you’re for it.

:looks down:

And ninety percent of the fic is in bold and italics. :eye-twitch: Swell.

i needed money because i wanted out of this hell hole i know as a home.

I’m so poor that I can’t afford a Shift key.

so i picked up a newspaper that i had found this morning. and i found many of places that had help wanted ads.

Does anyone still use newspaper classifieds? I know I’m old-fashioned, but damn.

but the one that caught my eye was the help wanted ad for a night watch guard.

For around a hundred bucks a week. That’ll really help my finances.

then i remember about when my mom was still alive and she had took me there when i was a child.

Last I checked, my Mama was still alive. She has taken me to a lot of places, though, and some probably had night guards on staff. It would be nice if I could narrow things down a bit.

that was back when i was still 6 years old

:THWACK!:

the good day i went there only about 3 other times.

:THWACK!:

No numerals in the narration, me! I should know better than that.

 until the horrid day that my mother… the only otherperson that i thought cared about me

Ummm…What? If my mother is the “only other person”, then that would mean there’s one other person who cares. Who is it?

“it been so long since i last saw him”

Saw who? Who am I talking about? And why do I think that this person would remain at a tacky pizza parlor until I came back?

i said he was my best friend his name was mangle i never did keep my promise to him.

My best friend has a badass name. Are they perhaps imaginary as well?

i never went back because my father.

…Did what? What did Daddy do? Was it that thing where he makes a fuss because we didn’t get enough napkins? That’s so embarrassing.

(FLASH BACK)

:grabs desk:

AHHH!!! INCOMING!

mommy! mommy ! can we please go to freddy fazbear pizzeria! . you said your mother then told you that she had planed to the she said just go get in the car.

Huh.

I think my Mom just told me that she was going to scrape the sides of the car smooth with a woodworking tool. Or something.

(TIME SKIP BY MIKUO HATSUNE)

Who, the Vocaloid chick?

 

Hatsune Miku cover.png
Other than the fact that she’s an artificial creation like the animatronics, what does she have to do with FNAF?

were finally here i was so excited that i ran right up to the door and opened it up for my mother.

Aren’t I the perfect little gentleman?

the man at the counter smiled at me and said aren’t you just a sweet heart.

Back off, creeper.

me being the shy child i was i blushed and hid behind my mom. my mom then started talking to the man at the counter and told me to just go on in and have fun and that she would order pizza later.

Like anyone would go to a place like Freddy Fazbear’s for the food. You could probably serve me cardboard with ketchup on it and I’d eat it. (Which is exactly how the pizza at Showbiz Pizza tasted, now that I think about it.)

so i ran off to explore first i went to the game area i then played a few games to the prize area to get a prize and i decided on a mangle plush.

:facepalms:

What a noob; everyone knows you stockpile your tickets until the end of the night so you can get a better prize. Although I must be really good at whatever games I was playing if I got enough tickets to trade for a stuffed animal right away.

(i know they are not real just deal with it.)

Is that … Is that an Author’s Note in the middle of my flashback?

:THWACK!:

Mangle plushies do exist in real life (I’ve seen them on Amazon and elsewhere) but I assume the author is referring to them not existing in the games. There are a number of stuffed animals visible in the games, primarily of the central characters rather than their improved “toy” versions or the Funtime versions; since Mangle is essentially Funtime Foxy it would make sense that there’s not a plushie of him if that was the case, but most businesses with colorful mascots like to have profitable toys made of those mascots so it wouldn’t be a stretch for one to exist somewhere in-game.

then i went to find my mom and she was not there.i look all around but i could not find her but i could feel eyes on me so i look around .

Is it that creepy counter guy from before? :squints at fic: He’s not wearing purple, is he?

i saw the animatronics looking at me with a sad look in there eyes.

Their expressionless, completely artificial eyes.

then someone walked up to me and said: is your name (y/n) and you told them that was your name.

Dude. I should not be talking to strangers. Where’s my Mom?

and they told you your mom had left you a note you took the note and went to one of the tables to read it .

She left me a note? I’m six years old; why is she leaving me a note? Where did she go?

dear (y/n),

i know this is only your 6th birthday.

It’s my birthday?!? And you didn’t give me a party or presents? You’re a bad mother.

but you would find this out sooner or later. i hate you so much you were the worst mistake that ever happened to me.

… A really bad mother. I’m six and it’s my birthday. The hell, man?

even the abuse was better than having you i wish i never had you .

:headdesk:

There’s telling instead of showing, but this? The audience is being told of this abuse second-hand via an in-fic note. Talk about the Onion of Failure.

i wish when i heard i was pregnant i had a abortion. but sadly i was notified too late that i was pregnant.

Again – I am SIX. YEARS. OLD. I probably don’t even understand what you’re talking about.

so i hope you rot in hell you worthless piece of shit. have fun with your damn father you fucking piece of shit and dont worry there will be more torture for you there if you’re even smart enough to make it home.

Is my nickname Piece of Shit? Because that seems to be my mother’s favorite expression. I mean, my real mother calls me Smartass but it is said with love.

i hope you burn in hell.

~mom

Wow. My fic-mother is a real bitch. Why didn’t she just drop me off and leave? Why leave me a note like that? I’m six! I probably can’t read half of what she wrote.

i felt a tears stream down my face.

Just one, though. Because I’m a badass.

i was cry so much i did not look where i was going until i ran into someone. so my kindness kicked in and i looked up to say i was sorry only to be met with a animatronic

I bet I apologize to mannequins when I bump into them, too.

(CONVERSION TIME)

It’s what now? Is the animatronic going to try to convert me?

:snorts:

Good luck with that.

MANGLE:hello child why are you crying?

(Y/N): my mommy does not love.

Oh, it’s conversation time. Dude, this is not how you do dialogue. Also, my six-year-old self does not grammar well.

MANGLE: im sure she does.

(Y/N): no she left me here to die see *holds out note*

I’ve got written proof my fic-mother loathes the very thought of my existence!

MANGLE: *reads it then looks sad* im sorry child *looks at toy freddy*

Does Mangle know how to read? Why is that a thing he would need to know how to do?

TOY FREDDY: *comes over* what’s wrong mangle

MANGLE: this child does not know how t get home.

Ummm… That’s not really what you should be taking away from this.

TOY FREDDY: don’t worry child will have someone contact your parents later so enjoy your birthday party for now.

So I am having birthday party? Here, at Freddy Fazbear’s? Was my mother the only chaperone? If so, who is going to take the other kids home?

(CONVERSION OVER)

Thanks for that, I couldn’t tell by the lack of dialogue.

(THIRD PERSON POV.)

DAMMIT!

you hung out with mangle for a few hours

Hours?!? I spent hours with an animatronic and no one noticed? And this isn’t third-person, it’s second.

and then a guard named purple guy came up to me.

And now we’re back to first-person, because sudden perspective shift is sudden.

I seriously doubt that “purple guy” is Purple Guy’s real name; he’s just called that because no one knows his real name.

he said he would be taking me home so i said goodbye to mangle.

Dude, I should not be going anywhere with Purple Guy. He’s bad news.

And why hasn’t anyone called the cops? A small child was abandoned at a restaurant for hours!

i promised him i would come back soon to see him and he said he would be waiting.

That’s certainly comforting and not at all exceptionally creepy.

i then walked off with the purple guy to his purple limo.

The security guard has a limo? Why?

and got in we were close to my house and then he stopped the car. i looked at him with a questioning look and he stab me and i screamed in pain.

Wow. That was sudden, yet not completely unexpected.

but my instinct kicked in and i opened the door and ran home as fast as i could.

Because I’m a six-year-old boy who can run faster than a limo even after I’ve been stabbed.

(END OF FLASHBACK)

Hoo-frickin’-ray.

(YOUR POV.)

Damn it all to hell! What purpose do these frickin’ tags serve? The perspective never changes!

i shivered at the memory of the purple guy. anyways pushing the thought away i called freddy fazbear’s pizzeria to see if the spot was still open.

So I was abandoned at the restaurant during my sixth birthday and then stabbed by a psycho, yet I want to go work there? What the hell is wrong with me?

luckily it was open and he said i could start tonight and to to come at 10:00. so he could show me around and let me meet the other worker and the animatronics. i said i would be there.

There’s already another worker? Then why are they hiring another one? A novelty pizza restaurant doesn’t need two night guards.

(TIME SKIP BY MANGLE)

Seriously?!? WHY ARE THE TIME SKIPS SPONSORED?

i got to the pizzeria and went inside the manager met with me and showed me around and introduced me to the other workers one was named jeremy he had brown hair and blue eyes (don’t judge me)

Is that an Author’s Note? Or is this more internal dialogue? Do I like men with brown hair and blue eyes?

and he was shy he was so cute

I guess that’s a yes. And cute people aren’t necessarily more shy than non-cute people.

there was a guy named mike and he looked scary

“Scary” is neither a hair color nor an eye color.

and he was holding jeremys waist

Awww, he stole my bae. Wait, I thought there was only going to be one other person here.

and then i met fritz and he was funny

Now there’s three guys here? This isn’t the set-up for some weird yaoi orgy, is it?

then i met my nightmare purple guy

Who should probably be dead and locked inside Springtrap now.

and my eye went wide

Just the one, though.

and i started to hyperventilate and jeremy rushed over to help me calm down after he calmed me down they asked me if i was ok and i said yes then we finished up and i went to the office

…And then the baby just cryed and then Legolas pick her up and hold her and then the baby stoped crying…

(TIME SKIP BY TOY BONNIE)

Flaming monkey-farts! Why is this even a thing?

it was 4:30 and i was terrified they were trying to kill me

…Am I in the game now? I’m so very confused.

then i saw it a purple blure and and it walked into the office.

AHHH! NIGHTMARE FREDDY!

it was the purple guy!

Dun-dun-dunnn!

fuck i still have 1hour and 30 minutes.

:THWACK!:

:THWACK!:

No numerals!

This isn’t a game and you don’t get instantly saved if you reach a specific time; if Purple Guy is genuinely dangerous then he remains a danger regardless of the time.

(CONVERSION TIME)

:repeatedly headdesks:

This is not how you dialogue, author.

PURPLE: hi (y/n)

(Y/N): what are you doing here *glares*

That’ll really show him who’s the boss.

PURPLE: i work here remember

(Y/N): you work day shift not night shift *glares*

I will subdue you with the power of my glare!

PURPLE: you caught me. i came here to finish what i started all those years ago now stay still

AHH! THE GLARE ISN’T WORKING!

(CONVERSION END)

:groans:

I feel like kicking something really hard now.

when he said that i started running as fast as i ran into a room and i don’t think he saw me go in here.

If I’m in the restaurant then he wouldn’t have any trouble seeing me since it’s fairly open and there are cameras everywhere.

i relaxed till i heard loud static right behind me.

Slendpai?

i looked back and saw mangle i ran to him crying and said i’m sorry i did not visit please forgive me.

I really should be more concerned about the insane killer running after me.

he just looked at me with the static going on so i fixed his voice box.

Because that’s something I can do, apparently.

(CONVERSION TIME)

:headdesk:

Why?

:headdesk:

Why?

:headdesk:

Why?

MANGLE: *turns human* its ok (Y/N)

Wait a second – fixing his voice box turned the robot into a human? How do that?

(Y/N):can i tell you something

MANGLE:yes

(Y/N):i l-

Ye gods, this is painful to read. I wish I could take out my eyes, but Koori-chan borrowed my ice cream scoop and hasn’t brought it back.

the purple guy walked in and looked at the time there was 1 hour till your shift was over.

:THWACK!:

Does that mean I was running around for a full half an hour? Author, you are seriously misjudging both my ability to run as well as my ability to give a shit.

just enough time to kill you he ran up and stabbed you in the stomach 4 times you looked at mangle and said please help.

:THWACK!:

It took him a frickin’ hour to stab me four times in the stomach? Damn, is he slow.

you saw him yell something but you could no longer hear him.

Is “him” the Purple Guy or Mangle? Because they are both male in this fic.

i say more humans walk in then mangle ran over to me puting my head on his was crying i some how could hear again.

Why is Mangle putting my head on his head like I’m a person-hat? How would he even do that? I don’t understand what’s going on.

he was saying how he was sorry and he did not mean for this to happen.

It’s not his fault that purple asshole stabbed me. If anything, I blame myself – I was the idiot who came back to the restaurant and I’m also the idiot who didn’t immediately leave after seeing that my childhood assailant was working here.

he said i coul- i put my finger to his lips and make him stop talking.

Ugh. I’m gonna be ill.

by this time they were all around me and i looked mangle in the eye.

Oh, Auntie Em; I had the strangest dream…

c-can i-i tell y-you what i w-was s-saying and mangle said yes and i said i-i love you.

Because I’m a horribly clichéd person, apparently.

i smiled and he was blushing and his eyes were wide.

But he’s a robot! He can’t blush! No, wait; he didn’t turn into a human, didn’t he? It hard to keep track of anything with how rushed this pacing is – yet it also feels very stagnant and stuttery.

everything started to blur and the last thing i heard before i blacked out was mangle say i love you to please dont die no me.

If you don’t want me to die, maybe you should call 911 and get me some frickin’ medical attention.

(alternate ending)

:spits out coffee:

There’s a what?!?

you woke up a week later in a hospital and you were surrounded by all the animatronics and guards you looked at mangle who was smiling sweetly at you.

…Oh-kay.

I have questions. Why are the animatronics at the hospital? Why are all the guards at the hospital? And does “all” include Purple Guy? Because he’s the reason I’m in the hospital in the first place. Him and my own horrible life choices.

MANGLE: morning sleeping beauty.

(Y/N): im not a girl but good morning

Ha-ha; funny story about that…

TOY CHICA: im so glad you lived we need to throw you a party when you get out!

Nothing says “I’m glad you didn’t die” like subpar pizza and lukewarm soft drinks.

(Y/N): fuck when i get out im not staying here

you get out of bed pulling the needle out of your arm and puts you cloths on and looks at them.

(Y/N): lets get out of here i hate hospitals

One – that’s not how a person is discharged from a hospital, nor is that how you safely remove an IV line. And two – I was just stabbed in the belly! Do you want me to die from septicemia?  I need antibiotics and painkillers, bitch.

you all leave the hospital unnoticed and go to freddys to throw a party.

You mean to tell me that a recently stabbed person, an unknown number of giant animatronics, and several security guards, all snuck out of the hospital together?

I changed my mind. This is a terrible hospital, I’m probably better off on my own.

after the party you were saying bye to them all.

Bye! :waves: I’ll see you all in therapy!

then mangle kissed you and you kissed back.

I am such a slut. I bet I even let him :gasp!: hold my hand!

then pulled away and said i love you and he said i love you too and you lived happily for the rest of you lives.

And then Legolas said”all you alright”and then Laura said”yes I am”.Legolas said”I am soo happy”and then Laura said”Do you want to be my boyfriend”and then Legolas said”yes I will be your boyfriend”and then Laura and Legolas kissed again.

And that’s the end of my epic yaoi romance with Mangle, even though it was barely Shōnen Ai. See you in the new year with a new fic!

 

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78 Comments on “1638: help me – Oneshot”

  1. AdmiralSakai says:

    i needed money because i wanted out of this hell hole i know as a home.

    so i’m going to the hell hole i know as fanfiction.

  2. AdmiralSakai says:

    the good day i went there only about 3 other times.

    what

  3. AdmiralSakai says:

    i wish when i heard i was pregnant i had a abortion. but sadly i was notified too late that i was pregnant.

    so i hope you rot in hell you worthless piece of shit. have fun with your damn father you fucking piece of shit and dont worry there will be more torture for you there if you’re even smart enough to make it home.

    i hope you burn in hell.

    ~mom

    but i’m not going to, like, poison you or anything, just drop you off in a public area with a clearly incriminating note so that i can get in a metric fuckton of trouble.

    • Leider Hosen says:

      …On one hand, the premise sounds incredibly deep and fascinating, and opportunity for Meta commentary abounds.

      On the other, it’s infamous FanFiction… so the concept was likely aborted horribly in execution….

      To read, or not to read…

  4. BatJamags says:

    And what better way to end the year than with a Reader fic!

    WHIRLYBAT VON FLUBBERTYBUBBLE STRIKES AGAIN!

  5. BatJamags says:

    Mangle is male or female

    It’s a robot. It doesn’t have gentleman-bits or lady-bits, and it can’t reproduce. Physically, it’s a – well – mangled tangle of parts. I mean, it kind of comes from Foxy, who I believe is female, so you could make that argument, but considering how far removed the Mangle is from any paradigm where human gender would be relevant, I think we can safely consider it genderless.

    • AdmiralSakai says:

      Long ago I just decided that pronouns were completely arbitrary and I was going to stop caring about them. I’ve also adopted a strict ‘smile and nod’ protocol towards people who do care about them, so if the author of this turdnugget says the pile of disjointed robot parts should be referred to as ‘he’ or ‘she’ or ‘que’ or whatever then that’s good enough for me.

    • GhostCat says:

      It could also be argued that if the animatronics are possessed by the spirits or souls of the murdered children that they would then have the gender identity of the child “occupant”.

      If the animatronics are self-aware themselves to the point where they identify with a gender, then a lack of corresponding genitalia really wouldn’t matter – it doesn’t with humans who are non-binary or non-cis.

    • AdmiralSakai says:

      I very much doubt that an AI would care, or that it would conform to human sexist stereotypes any stronger than chance (unless of course the developers specifically built its personality to behave in a stereotypical masculine or feminine manner, and even that would be highly subjective).

      • GhostCat says:

        These particular robots were programmed to interact with humans on a regular basis, so they were probably designed to emulate at least some human behaviours – which could include gender identity.

      • Leider Hosen says:

        That’s an extremely strong possibility, considering that “Toy Chica” is distinctly feminine, while her older design is slightly feminine but still mostly neutral. Making her more distinctly female was considered part of the move to make the animatronics more appealing and less scary.

        Machines inherently have no gender and have no sex, human operators (or occupants in the case of lost souls) have to deliberately assign them gender-stereotypical features and behaviors to appeal to human sensibilities.

        I find it simultaneously interesting and hilarious a low-budget horror game can make us think this deeply about machine sexuality lol.

      • GhostCat says:

        And without devolving into name-calling and the hurling of epithets, ’cause we be all classy up in here.

  6. BatJamags says:

    (YOUR POV.)

    No, Whirlybat von Flubbertybubble’s POV. Weren’t you paying attention?

  7. BatJamags says:

    Oh, god. I just realized there is not a single capital letter in the fic. Help.

  8. BatJamags says:

    but the one that caught my eye was the help wanted ad for a night watch guard.

    The potentially dangerous minimum wage job looked so much more appealing than literally anything else.

  9. BatJamags says:

    until the horrid day that my mother… the only otherperson that i thought cared about me

    “it been so long since i last saw him”

    i said he was my best friend his name was mangle i never did keep my promise to him.

    i never went back because my father.

    Whirlybat, what the fuck are you talking about?

    Whirlybat von Flubbertybubble: Man, I have no idea…

  10. BatJamags says:

    (FLASH BACK)

    Apparently Whirlybat has PTSD from the Mangle sex.

    Well, that’s a sentence I just typed.

  11. BatJamags says:

    mommy! mommy ! can we please go to freddy fazbear pizzeria! . you said your mother then told you that she had planed to the she said just go get in the car.

    Why is it in second person?

    Whirlybat von Flubbertybubble: The narrator must be as drunk as I am.

  12. BatJamags says:

    me being the shy child i was i blushed

    Since this (hopefully) isn’t a romantic context and Whirlybat’s a friend of mine, I’m not going to initiate extreme violence.

    Whirlybat von Flubbertybubble: … Thanks?

    Instead, I’m going to point out that I have never seen a real person blush. Ever. Not even in a movie/video/TV show/other sort of recording.

  13. BatJamags says:

    so i ran off to explore first i went to the game area i then played a few games to the prize area to get a prize and i decided on a mangle plush.

    The Mangle is not an active animatronic, it’s damaged and – guess what – mangled. That would traumatize so many kids if they actually used it while running the place as a restaurant.

    • GhostCat says:

      In the canon it’s in the kids’ area; management set it up as a “take apart, put back together” attraction for the kids since they were taking it apart anyway and it was too much trouble for the staff to keep putting it back together.

      • BatJamags says:

        Ah, alright. Most of my experience with FNAF is through Game Theory, so (ironically) I’ve missed some of the more explicitly spelled-out details.

  14. BatJamags says:

    then someone walked up to me and said: is your name (y/n) and you told them that was your name.

    Whirlybat von Flubbertybubble: The name’s Von Flubbertybubble. Whirlybat von Flubbertybubble.

  15. Leider Hosen says:

    And what better way to end the year than with a Reader fic! And it’s from Five Nights at Freddy’s!

    Dafuq is a reader fic? I feel like I should know this one.

    this is a mangle x reader this is where you get with mangle yes mangle is a male in this and so is the reader yes it is yaoi please enjoy my story

    …Great.

    • GhostCat says:

      Reader fics are a kind of audience participation fic; instead of using a character’s name or features the author uses [y/n], [y/e], [y/h], etc (shorthand for “your name”, “your eye color”, “your hair color”, etc.) rather than actually creating their own character. It’s a bit like those old Choose Your Own Adventure books.

      • Leider Hosen says:

        Oh yeah, I’ve read reader inserts before. I’ve just never heard of second-person POV fics referred to as “reader fics”, though it makes perfect sense now that I know what you’re talking about.

        Thanks for the definition though, Ghostie.

      • GhostCat says:

        I’ve got a stack of the things in my pile; I pull a few out every so often but most follow the same basic formula so they can get stale fast. Still, they’re are fun in small doses.

      • BatJamags says:

        I still never really understood the premise of reader fics. If you’re just going to A: make up stuff like gender and age with regards to the reader, and B: include things like name and eye color (even if you don’t say what they are), you might as well just make up an OC. It’s not like inserting my name (or Whirlybat von Flubbertybubble’s name, as the case may be) helps with immersion, it just makes me painfully aware of the gimmicky writing.

  16. Leider Hosen says:

    Especially since, as a robot, Mangle’s gender would be a matter of personal choice (assuming he/she/they/it is self-aware) anyway. Still, the idea of a non-binary character in a well-received work is pretty fantastic. Since the author of this fic is insisting that Mangle is male, I’ll be using male pronouns to refer to him.

    That’s the internet for you. Not even skeletal robots are free from the world ending important debates on gender pronouns. I miss the good old days, when the internet was a playground for everyone to fuck around in peace rather than an acidic wasteland of pointless politics and drama. To be fair though, I imagine the debates are more about who gets shipping rights to the char than any serious hangups.

    It’s funny though, a couple of days ago I got into a similar, really long debate with two of my betas on whether Dark Sun Gwyndolin would be referred to as a “he” or a “she” and if he would count as a true transsexual, due to the rather… unusual circumstances of his (her?) upbringing. It was very in-depth, and very interesting, but results were semi-inconclusive. In all likelihood, Gwyndolin would be a “she”, but I’ll likely still refer to him by masculine pronouns out of habit.

    • AdmiralSakai says:

      To be fair though, I imagine the debates are more about who gets shipping rights to the char than any serious hangups.

      Sadly, I don’t have nearly that much faith in humanity.

    • GhostCat says:

      I enjoy the discussions/arguments as an intellectual exercise, but I tend to avoid the more rabid “[character] must be [gender] so I can ship them with [other character]!” debates. Those tend to say more about the person doing the arguing than they ever do about the characters in question.

      • Leider Hosen says:

        Oh hell yeah, Ficcers can be so unreasonable sometimes, especially if they are biased or have too much affection for one of the characters. I love a good deconstruction of a character, because it can raise a lot of interesting questions on how other chars would address them in-universe and what kind of behaviors they would have, but there’s a difference between arguing and just being a whiny bitch.

        I wish more people would realize that.

  17. Leider Hosen says:

    i needed money because i wanted out of this hell hole i know as a home. so i picked up a newspaper that i had found this morning. and i found many of places that had help wanted ads. but the one that caught my eye was the help wanted ad for a night watch guard. then i remember about when my mom was still alive and she had took me there when i was a child.

    *twitch* *twitch* *shake* THAT’S NOT HOW SECOND PERSON PERSPECTIVE WORKS, AND WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SENTENCE STRUCTURE.

    En Garde!

    You wanted out of this hellhole you knew as a home, so you picked up a newspaper that you’d found this morning, choosing from the many places that had “help wanted” ads. The one that caught your eye was for a position of night watchmen. You remembered a while back, when your mom was still alive, she had took you there when i was you child.

    MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH- ahahahha!

    Abrelepine: I think your sanity is getting… iffy.

  18. Leider Hosen says:

    No numerals in the narration, me! I should know better than that.

    Don’t feel too bad, you’re the lead character in a badfic with horrible grammar. You’re lucky to know what a numeral is!

  19. Leider Hosen says:

    mommy! mommy ! can we please go to freddy fazbear pizzeria! . you said your mother

    My mother what? My mother what! Tell me fic! Oh, it took me several seconds, but figured out there was supposed to be, I dunno, a fucking comma there to prevent that sort of confusion, but there was no punctuation because the author is a lazy ass who never stops to hit a few extra keys.

    Abrelepine: Says the man who impatiently skims over entire sentences and leaves them a mangled wreck until much later…

    OH PISS OFF. At least my grammatical trainwrecks are fairly few and far between, this is just an unrelenting barrage of bullshit.

  20. Leider Hosen says:

    i know this is only your 6th birthday. but you would find this out sooner or later. i hate you so much you were the worst mistake that ever happened to me. even the abuse was better than having you i wish i never had you. i wish when i heard i was pregnant i had a abortion. but sadly i was notified too late that i was pregnant. so i hope you rot in hell you worthless piece of shit. have fun with your damn father you fucking piece of shit and dont worry there will be more torture for you there if you’re even smart enough to make it home.

    i hope you burn in hell.

    ~mom

    …Ya know, I was going to post an angry rant, but I honestly can’t take this seriously enough to bother.

    This is the most batshit insane, ridiculous, over-the-top hate letter and circumstances I have ever seen. There’s lacking nuance, and there’s being so incompetent and trying so hard to throw in as many cliche insults as possible it loops back around to being just laughable.

    This setup, and the execution, is just so insane that I just can’t even right now.

  21. Leider Hosen says:

    i was cry so much i did not look where i was going until i ran into someone. so my kindness kicked in and i looked up to say i was sorry only to be met with a animatronic

    (CONVERSION TIME)

    MANGLE:hello child why are you crying?

    (Y/N): my mommy does not love.

    Mengel was walking along the pizzeria and one day he found you whaped in colth so he got off his dolly and went to you and then Mongul said”who left you here little one”and then you just cryed and then Mangal pick you up and hold you and then you stoped crying and then Menagla said”your name is going be (y/n)”and then Manygdala and you went onto the rolarcar and went back to the closet where he lived.

  22. Leider Hosen says:

    (THIRD PERSON POV.)

    you hung out with mangle for a few hours

    Third person-first person POV is more contradictory than first person-second person POV! WTF are you thinking!?!

    *flings laptop*

  23. Leider Hosen says:

    Because I’m a six-year-old boy who can run faster than a limo even after I’ve been stabbed.

    Well it’s simple really, you’re the lead character in a Badfic, a romantic Badfic at that. Your plot armor is somewhere the neighborhood of quintuple-military grade.

  24. Leider Hosen says:

    So I was abandoned at the restaurant during my sixth birthday and then stabbed by a psycho, yet I want to go work there? What the hell is wrong with me?

    Look on the bright side, compared to some other types roaming Badfic Land, you’re a beacon of intellectual prowess! And also, I have a sneaking suspicion the reason rhymes with the second word of “blood donor”…

  25. Leider Hosen says:

    Now there’s three guys here? This isn’t the set-up for some weird yaoi orgy, is it?

    Pls No

  26. Leider Hosen says:

    Slendpai?

    At this point I’d be overjoyed if Slendpai made an appearance, it would make this fic a hell of a lot more interesting since we’d have a bad, but at least a semi-developed, character in the mix.

  27. BatJamags says:

    Alright, back to finish reading this after my internet died.

    but you would find this out sooner or later. i hate you so much you were the worst mistake that ever happened to me.

    Well, that was abrupt.

    Whirlybat von Flubbertybubble: *Sniff* *Sniff*

    Oh, shut up. It’s not like she’s really your mother.

    Whirlybat von Flubbertybubble: *Sobbing ensues*

    Probably not the right way to phrase that, now that I think about it.

  28. BatJamags says:

    (CONVERSION TIME)

    MANGLE:hello child why are you crying?

    (Y/N): my mommy does not love.

    What is this Homestuck bullshit? I mean, I like Homestuck, but needless to say, this author is no Andrew Hussie.

  29. BatJamags says:

    (THIRD PERSON POV.)

    If it had actually used third person, that would’ve been all the persons in a single chapter.

  30. BatJamags says:

    jeremy

    mike

    fritz

    purple guy

    All four of these people did work at Freddy Fazbear’s, yes.

    At completely different times.

  31. Whey says:

    mommy! mommy ! can we please go to freddy fazbear pizzeria! . you said your mother then told you that she had planed to the she said just go get in the car.

    Looks like a lost period, poor guy. Into the void you go.


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