1625: Digiball Z: The Movie – Chapter Three

Title: Digiball Z: The Movie
Author: Dakari-King Mykan
Media: Anime
Topic: Digimon/Dragonball Z
Genre: Adventure/Action/Crossover
URL:  Chapter Three
Critiqued by AwkwardFerret

CHAPTER THREE

The Giant Digimon Eating Monster

I wish all titles were that to the point.

As the boys walked on by following the Energy Davis sensed, they came across a little rookie Digimon who seemed lost and frightened.

Little rookie Digimon: “Oh, no, I’m in Digiball Z! This is horrible!”

“Excuse us.” Said Tai, “But what’s a little guy like you doing way out here all alone?”

“Oh, it was horrible, simply horrible.” The small Digimon cried. “My name is Gonzomon, and I’m from a village that recently was destroyed.”

“Destroyed? By what?” asked Agumon.

Little rookie Digimon: “Insufficient water treatment!”

Gonzomon told them that his village was a very beautiful place until it was attack by a strange creature.

Nobody knew if it was a Digimon or where he even came from, but he began crushing all houses and terrorizing the Greenland’s.

I won’t even tell you what he did to the Iceland’s.

“Gee, that shounds like shome creature.” Said Veemon. “Why didn’t your village pull together and fend of this thing?” asked Tai.

Gonzomon shook his head. “Such a task for my village is impossible. For we we’re a village of peace and tranquilly, and had no need for battle.”

And how well did that work out for ya?

“In any case, the creature is the size of a small mountain. It was so scary that monster, because he ate Digimon.”

“Ate them?!” the boys all said at once.

“Yes, he picks them up, a sucks all the energy right out of their bodies, leaving their bodies empty.” Cried Gonzomon.

I don’t really think that qualifies as “eating”.

“I could only run in fear as my village and family were consumed by that monster.”

Agumon wiped a tear from his eye. “That’s so sad.” He cried.

Suddenly, the earth around them all began to shake at the sound of very heavy footsteps. “Oh no…!” cried Gonzomon. “The Beast is coming! We must run for our lives!”

“Oh no!” said Tai. “We got to see this thing for ourselves!” said Tai. “It’s time to Digivolve!” added Davis.

They whipped out their Digivices dicks and bright lights hit Veemon, and Agumon.

“Agumon, Digivolve to…”

“Veemon, Digivolve to…”

“Greymon!”

“Ex-Veemon!”

 “As it turns out, the recycled filler level-up animations are even more insufferable in text form!”

Greymon scrapped his feet against the ground. “Now lets go see what this thing is!” he growled.

“Yeah.. lets’ go!” said Davis, and they all rode off deeper into the woods towards the sound.

“Look there!” said Gonzomon. The boys gasped at what they saw. A Humongous human-like creature was knocking down the trees.

Oh, that’s just Paul Bunyan.

“Whoa… look at the size of that thing!” said Tai. “What kind of Digimon is that?” added Davis.

They both checked the Digimon Analyzer. There was a picture of the monster but unfortunately it said… “Digimon, Unknown! No available Data!”

 “Except for the picture, apparently!”

“No Data?” said Tai. “Well that’s just terrific.”

“It old you this creature is unpredictable!” cried Gonzomon. “Quickly, we must pull away.”

I prefer using condoms myself.

“What, and miss a chance to take down this guy for what he did to your people?” said Ex-Veemon.

“Yeah… I’m with you buddy!” said Davis. “So are we.” Added Tai and Greymon.

They moved a little closer. “I don’t think he can see us.” Said Tai. “Let’s sneak up on him quietly.”

“Right…” Said Greymon.

“NOVA BLAST!!”

Okay, that was kinda funny. But I’m certain I’ve seen that joke plenty of times before, so zero points to Mykandor.

The Fireballs whammed into the monsters back, and his head snapped up as he felt the pain.

“You call that quietly?” said Ex-Veemon.

“V-LASER!!”

That blast made the monster turn around. “Who dares to interrupt the Great Kyokotsumon?!” he growled.

The Mediocre Shyamalamadingmon!

“Whoa… not scratch!” said Davis.

Kyokotsumon began stomping his feet forward. “You’ll make a nice light snack for me!” he said.

“Take cover!” cried Tai, and they split up just as Kyokotsumon’s huge hand slammed the ground.

They tried their attacks again, but all that bulk and guts made the blasts look weak.

Because really fat people are known for their martial prowess and invincibility in battle.

Davis even fired a Kamehameha blast at his gut, that did do some Damage, but it made Kyokotsumon angrier.

“Foolish human!” he growled. “I shall devour you as well!” ha reached up to grab Davis but he dodged it.

That must have been really difficult, dodging the fatass demon Digimon reaching up gently to you.

“I not the kind that’s easy to get.” Said Davis. “SUPER DRAGON PUNCH!!” he cried out, and gave a right fist to the face.

“RRR… Now it’s my turn!” Kyokotsumon growled, and he picked up his Ball on chain.

“GROUND POUND MASH!!”

 That attack’s not nearly as good as Ground Pound Smash, what is he doing?!

Davis dodged the huge blow, but Greymon was rocked about by the quake with the ball hit. “Hey… that’s wasn’t nice!”

“No… and neither is this!”

“VOMIT COMET!!”

Kyokotsumon: “All shall tremble in fear before the worst-named attack in history!”

And Kyokotsumon Belched a big fireball from his mouth which Greymon Barely dodged. “Yeow… that smarts!” he cried while looking at his burnt tail.

“This is nuts!” called Tai. “Greymon, do you still have enough left in you for another boost?”

“Lay it on me Tai!” Greymon said.

Guys, I don’t think this is really the time for hardcore gay sex.

Tai nodded and activated his Digivice. Greymon began to glow once again.

“Greymon, Warp-Digivolve to…!”

“WARGREYMON!!”

“Hey, alright!” said Davis, “And two’s always better than one. Right, Ex-Veemon?”

“Do it Davis!” he answered. Davis activated his D3 as Ex-Veemon concentrated all his energy.

“Ex-Veemon… Spirit-Digivolve to…!”

“ANGEL-VEEMON!!”

“Still utterly insufferable!”

Kyokotsumon sensed great power in these Digimon, and that made him even Happier. “What luck, a bigger snack than I hopped for.” He began charging

“Yeah… well snack on this!” snapped Angel-Veemon.

“HEAVEN FIST!!”

 New, from Little Debbie’s: Heaven Fists!

BAM!! Right in the Face knocking him back.

“TERRA-FORCE!!”cried Wargreymon.

BOOM!! Right in the gut.

“KAMEHAMEHA!!” cried Davis.

So much fire was unleashed. When the smoke had cleared, Kyokotsumon was looking pretty much beat up, but he was still at it.

I’d say he wasn’t “pretty much beat up” if he was still going at it.

“No way! This guys a freaking rock!” snapped Tai. “There’s got to be a way to blow that big balloon boy up!”

“There isn’t…” said Kyokotsumon, “Just make it easier on yourselves and surrender!”

Davis suddenly got an idea, “That’s it!” he said, and he flew straight towards the huge mouth, and flew right in.

Davis: “I can escape from the story if I suicide right into this guy’s stomach!”

“No, Davis, get out of there!” screamed Wargreymon, but Kyokotsumon already swallowed him whole.

“That was nice…” he chuckled, “And now for the main course!” he said as he eyed the others.

The two Digimon stood in front of the defenseless Tai from the upcoming monster, but then…

“UGH… AGH!!” Kyokotsumon held his stomach as if he was having one serious ache. “IT CANNOT BE!!”

Kyokotsumon: “They warned me about the Taco Bell, but I didn’t believe them!”

The others wondered what was happening, and then Kyokotsumon’s huge stomach burst wide open from Davis’ Blast.

“Davis.” Cried Tai. “You Son of a gun!”

Now, of everything to say in this situation, why would anybody ever say THAT?!

All covered in guts and goop, Davis smiled. “I knew he wouldn’t expect a blow from the inside now!”

He flew of and shook the goop off of him. “AAAAAGGGHHH…!!” Kyokotsumon moaned and whimpered trying to hold himself together.

Well, now, this is just kind of unpleasant. I mean, sure, he ate, or rather, drank a bunch of Digimon, but the image of him lying on the ground, bleeding out while trying to hold his guts inside…ech.

“DODON WAVE!!”

“TERRA-FORCE!!”

“KAMEHAMEHA!!”

And of course, our “heroes” can’t help but executing their surrendered foe.

The three giant blasts collided into Kyokotsumon, and KABOOM!! He was finished, but sadly, destroying him did not revive the Digimon he killed, but Gonzmon was relieved that at least he had his revenge.

So, uh, anybody wanna tell Gonzomon about the Dragon Balls already?

Suddenly, in the dust. The boys could see something glowing. “Hey, what is that thing!” asked Tai.

“Whatever it is, it’s flying away!” said Agumon, and the object was gone in a flash.

Tons of questions began racing through their minds.

What was that Object?

The light of Venus reflected through some swamp gas.

Where did it go off to, and what was it for?

To Louisiana to frighten some locals.

Who was Kyokotsumon, Where did he come from?

A useless asshole, and does it matter?

But Most importantly, was the worst over, or was it still to happen?

Will any of these questions be answered? Will anybody actually give a shit? Will Gonzomon steal the Dragon Balls and fix everything because the “heroes” are too lazy? Find out next time on DigiBall Z!

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45 Comments on “1625: Digiball Z: The Movie – Chapter Three”

  1. AdmiralSakai says:

    CHAPTER THREE

    The Giant Digimon Eating Monster

    Why are there giant Digimon and why are they eating a monster?

  2. AdmiralSakai says:

    As the boys walked on by following the Energy Davis sensed,

    I’ve noticed this particular tic of Mykan’s for a while now. Not only is it infantile, but it also calls attention to just how commonly his characters are segregated by sex.

  3. AdmiralSakai says:

    “Gee, that shounds like shome creature.” Said Veemon

    Oh god, I can’t even tell if the misspellings are supposed to be intentional any more.

  4. AdmiralSakai says:

    Agumon wiped a tear from his eye. “That’s so sad.” He cried.

    “Be sad, dammit, be sad!” *Mykan grabs the reader by the shoulders and begins shaking them back and forth.*

  5. AdmiralSakai says:

    Tai nodded and activated his Digivice. Greymon began to glow once again.

    “Greymon, Warp-Digivolve to…!”

    “WARGREYMON!!”

    “Hey, alright!” said Davis, “And two’s always better than one. Right, Ex-Veemon?”

    “Do it Davis!” he answered. Davis activated his D3 as Ex-Veemon concentrated all his energy.

    “Ex-Veemon… Spirit-Digivolve to…!”

    “ANGEL-VEEMON!!”

    “Still utterly insufferable!”

    Kyokotsumon sensed great power in these Digimon, and that made him even Happier. “What luck, a bigger snack than I hopped for.” He began charging

    Umm… I’m sorry, but how does that make any difference? This evolution thing happened without any outside stimulus, meaning that whatever energy the digimon were tapping into had to be located inside them to begin with. So if he drained them, McVillainmon would have gotten all of it regardless of what form they were currently in.

  6. AdmiralSakai says:

    “UGH… AGH!!” Kyokotsumon held his stomach as if he was having one serious ache. “IT CANNOT BE!!”

    There must be other factors?

  7. AdmiralSakai says:

    He flew of and shook the goop off of him. “AAAAAGGGHHH…!!” Kyokotsumon moaned and whimpered trying to hold himself together.

    Well, now, this is just kind of unpleasant. I mean, sure, he ate, or rather, drank a bunch of Digimon, but the image of him lying on the ground, bleeding out while trying to hold his guts inside…ech.

    Yeah, Mykan seems to do that. I remember back in Unicorn he had the minions wailing in terror as they sort of… dissolved. It seems like the one time he can portray actual emotion is when he’s killing a villain, and it suddenly becomes clear that the villain is a person with desires and motivations and very real fear of death.

    • Leider Hosen says:

      Well of course you don’t want the audience to sympathize with a rounded, complex killer with confused morals; that would just make the 10 year old demographic for this fic conflicted by forcing them to think! Gotta keep ’em as flat as possible to prevent any silly attachments. But, you still want to give the designated villain just enough character to feel agony when the heroes kill them off, because let’s face it, it just isn’t satisfying brutally killing the “bad guy” when he doesn’t respond to it.

      Abrelepine: An antagonist with a charming disposition and iffy moral background that is despicable without being completely vapid? Silly Hosen, no such thing exists. It’s not like the concept of a soul-devouring, self-aware villain can be extremely compelling…

  8. Delta XIII says:

    I won’t even tell you what he did to the Iceland’s.

    And as for what he did to the New Zealand’s, well, that’s just too horrible to describe.

  9. BatJamags says:

    Gonzomon

  10. BatJamags says:

    Gonzomon told them that his village was a very beautiful place until it was attack by a strange creature.

    Oh, I forgot Mykan did that thing where he summarizes, like, every third line of dialogue.

  11. BatJamags says:

    terrorizing the Greenland’s.

    Greenland only has about 56,000 people in it (and most of the landmass is made of glacier anyway), so I guess if you’ve got to pick a place to terrorize…

  12. BatJamags says:

    Agumon wiped a tear from his eye. “That’s so sad.” He cried.

    Aquaman or whatever: I feel emotion at this, for it is emotional. Therefore, the audience should feel emotion as well.

  13. BatJamags says:

    In any case, the creature is the size of a small mountain.

    Goddammit, somebody downloaded Godzilla again.

  14. BatJamags says:

    A Humongous human-like creature was knocking down the trees.

    BEWARE the villainous…

    *Dramatic pause*

    LUMBERJACK!

  15. BatJamags says:

    No Data?

    Yes, Data.

  16. BatJamags says:

    The Mediocre Shyamalamadingmon!

    The Passable Agkghaoejhlkaghlasdnaghldsahglaksamon!

  17. BatJamags says:

    “Whoa… not scratch!” said Davis.

    What happen?

  18. BatJamags says:

    Kyokotsumon began stomping his feet forward.

    As opposed to stomping his nostrils forward?

  19. BatJamags says:

    which did some Damage

    Ah, it did Damage, which must be Capitalized, because it is Important.

  20. BatJamags says:

    “GROUND POUND MASH!!”

  21. BatJamags says:

    “VOMIT COMET!!”

    Pfffffffft yeah, that’s real scary there, kyoakhaekhtoakhfkahfumon.

  22. BatJamags says:

    Guys, I don’t think this is really the time for hardcore gay sex.

    And yet certain slashfic authors would say that it’s always time for hardcore gay sex.

  23. BatJamags says:

    a bigger snack than I hopped for.

    My mental image of kyoakkoahtkoheokhgaegamon is now a giant bunny.

  24. BatJamags says:

    “HEAVEN FIST!!”

    So, you’re having God punch him in the face? That would be a pretty awesome attack if you didn’t awkwardly shout it before doing it.

  25. BatJamags says:

    “TERRA-FORCE!!”

    That’s odd, I thought the name “Terra” would trigger Mykan’s PTSD flashbacks.

  26. BatJamags says:

    “No way! This guys a freaking rock!” snapped Tai.

  27. BatJamags says:

    “IT CANNOT BE!!”

    You are doomed, you incompetent fools!

    See, I can say generic villain things too.

  28. Leider Hosen says:

    You know, I like anime. It’s influenced my writing a lot, so I hate using this word, but fuck it, it fits:

    Mykan, your weeaboo is showing, and not in a good way. Anime tropes are like any other tropes (yes even in an Anime setting): use of them shows familiarity with the medium, overusing them to the point of nausea shows the incompetence at working with it.

    Not only that, but I actually looked up “Kyokotsu” because it sounded familiar (turned out I was remembering Katen Kyokotsu from Bleach). The google translation: Dark

    JUST BECAUSE IT’S A FOREIGN WORD DOESN’T MAKE IT UNIQUE.

    You may as fell call him “DarkEvilHellBadguyBaby-BloodDrinkerMon.”

    Names mean things! OMFG it pisses me off when a writer doesn’t at least put a little effort into making names a little interesting, especially when the basic name they choose expresses the villain’s deep and complex goal of being EVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVIL. Sure, in the modern setting I’m doing for my novel I can’t, but in fantasy exercise some fucking creativity! You will surprise yourself with the badass names you can come up with by taking several Google translated words and splicing them together, playing with the sound.

    • GhostCat says:

      :flips open Japanese-to-English dictionary:

      According to my dictionary, Kyokotsu is a common name but can also mean “anklebone” – specifically the talus or astragalus.

      • Leider Hosen says:

        lol Yeah, I figured that Uncle Google wouldn’t give the perfect translated word, and the only languages I know are proper English and about 1,000 variations of very improper English, so I definitely am glad you’re stopping me from spreading misinformation inadvertently.

        One of the first results for the word was for a character named “Kyokotsu”, which meant “Dark/Bad Luck” according to the wiki, so I lept to the assumption that was probably the meaning Mykan was going for… what with the soulstealing powers and all. But I’m probably being a bit unfair since I’m actually pretty stressed right now and that likely shows in my language, and the fact I’m not fact-checking myself as meticulously as normal.

        Putting my point in a far more composed manner: Taking a random Japanese word or name and sticking “mon” at the end is still a pretty damn lazy way to name characters. It’s “Titan”, “Mysterious”, and “Dementia” all over again. Only in Japanese.

        Now, I don’t always go out of my way to make every name of every character the most “OMG Unique” name ever… but I mean, having at least a couple out of left field would be nice.

      • BatJamags says:

        Or at least one that demonstrates a bit of thought beyond just sticking “mon” on the end of the first thing Mykan could think of.

      • GhostCat says:

        Fun Fact – “mon” is one of the countless ‘counter’ suffixes found in Japanese (if I said I have four cats it would be ‘shi-hiki neko’, not ‘shi neko’, with ‘hiki’ being the counter used for small animals), it is specifically used for cannons and questions.


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