1617: Profesor Lupus 2: Fighting Moudlermore – Chapters 1 and 2 (Oneshot)Posted: December 10, 2016
Title: Profesor Lupus 2: Fighting Moudlermore
Topic: Harry Potter / Lord of the Rings
URL: Profesor Lupus 2: Fighting Moudlermore
Critiqued by The Wheel
Hello, I’m the Wheel, and I’m back with the sequel to Profesor Lupus and the Curse of the Wearwolf! The author, KingAurthr2, abandoned this story after only two chapters, so I can cover it in one shot. So without further ado, let’s get started!
Chapter 1 Troubel in Potions class
Nexts day Prof Liupus wokes up in hosbital wing with bandages on him from a weaerwolf bite.
So this story apparently takes place the day after he was bitten. Remember that, as I will bring it up again later.
Mcgonadol and Saruman were there and aslo hagrind and Prof Dumbeleore
Ooh, he finally spelled Saruman’s name correctly!
“Lupus are you Alirght you were bit by the wolfman yesterday!”
Who said that? There’s no indication in the narrative of which character spoke that sentence.
“Yes except I am CUSRED!” whaled Lupus loud. “oh”
I pointed this out at the end of the first story, but I’ll say it again. He’s not “all right” if he’s cursed!
and then Dumbalmore saud “you must go to lesson wright now it is tim for potion class” and so Lupus whent to the class quick. He was taeched the piotion class by the professor snake and he said “Hello Lupuas and McDongaldol and Saursman you are late fifteyn points from Buffalocharge house and form Gohsthand horse (remember becase the houses are difrent in past).
He should only take 7.5 points from Ghost Hand House, otherwise he’s punishing Saruman twice as much. And that’s odd, because if “Professor Snake” is meant to be Professor Snape, then he was probably in Ghost Hand himself when he was a student. I’d expect Snape to show favoritism to his own house, but not to Gryffindor (which is what Buffalo Charge House will become, according to KingAurthr2).
“Today we are makling the piotion of Pollyjooce to turn you into a norther person!
This is their very first day of Potions class. First year students are not taught to make the Polyjuice Potion. I’m not sure they teach that at Hogwarts at all. Harry and his friends only learned to make the potion so they could disguise themselves as Slytherins and sneak into the Slytherin common room. They had to get a book from the Restricted Section of the library to find the recipe, which they needed a special teacher’s note for. So having Snape teach students to make Polyjuice Potion in their first class is impossible, just like everything else that happens in this series.
Ok” said Dongaol and so they sat down and maked the potion. “Ok we need some sliver for the poition” said prof Snalke and so he wented to the cupborad to get the sivler
Hmmm… (checks Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets)
Okay. This is the list of Polyjuice Potion ingredients:
Powdered horn of a bicorn
Shredded skin of a boomslang
And “a bit of whoever you want to change into.”
Know what’s not on that list? Silver!
“But we tooks all the Silver whuspered Sarumans “OH NO” relyhed Prf Lupus!
Calm down, guys. I’ve already told you, you don’t need silver to make the potion.
“Oh no ther is no silver left MOULDERMORE MUST OF BORKEN IN AND STEELED IT!” and he runs to tell prof Dumbleorde.
I’m pretty sure it was Snape who said that last thing, because that makes the most sense from context. I guess Snape didn’t join the Death Eaters until Voldemort assumed his father’s position, because if he’d been a Death Eater under Moldermore, Moldermore would tell him if he was planning to steal from the school, and it wouldn’t come as a surprise to Snape. That said, we know from the previous story that it was Lupus and his friends who took the silver to catch the werewolf. Isn’t it kind of extreme to assume that Moldermore is responsible as soon as something goes missing, anyway?
“We cant tell him we takes it we will loser more housr points and that is bad” “I agree” sayed Saursman and then Dumbelore came in “Mouldermore has broken in to steal the sliver this is bard news the shcool will be put into a lokdown!” and so evebryone was taken back to comoon rooms by Snake and hargidn.
Apparently the only teachers at this school are “Snake” and “Hagridn” and the only students are “Sarusman,” “Mcdongalo,” and “Lupus.” At least they’re the only characters ever mentioned in the story.
Also, did Dumbledore and Hagrid not see the silver rope that the kids made to restrain the werewolf? Wouldn’t that give them a clue about who took the silver? I guess Dumbledore isn’t called “Bumbledore” in this series for nothing.
Chapter 2 The Scarie dungeons
So the scool was in a lokdown after the Moudlermore came to attack the schol. “We ned to do something mabyve dumbleor will be hurted by the Moudleurmore yes it is bad” sayed Mcodngla
Wait a minute. What evidence do you have that Moldermore is even in the school right now? You know he didn’t take the silver, because you took it yourselves! How is Dumbledore in any danger?
and then prof lopis saud “Yes we can find Molderman and kill him then we wil safety the school” Ok” and so they did go nto to find Saurosman for help.
Lupus and his friends haven’t even been at school a full week. Dumbledore is a fully trained wizard, one of the best in the world. What help could they possibly offer him?
And the way this story is going, it looks as if Lupus will transform into a wolf when he fights Moldermore. But this is impossible, because werewolves only change at the full moon, and the full moon must have been last night, because that was the night that Lupus was attacked by the original werewolf. Lupus will not transform for another month, unless he’s like the werewolves from Twilight, who have control over their transformation and can change at will. But werewolves in Harry Potter are not like that!
They weneted to the Ghsothand house comoon rom and knock on the door loudlytr. “COME ON SAURMAN WE NEED YOR HELP FOR STROPPING THE MOLDERY” Ok and sawsman came do help too.
The spelling gets worse with every sentence.
“Ok where woudl the mouldermor be hiddening now!” “Hm he may be hiden in the dungeons” “oK lets go” and so Saurman prof Lipus and mcdongalol went to the sacrie dungoen. In the dugeon it was scari and ther was chain on the wall and spike on the flaor and efen some blod stain.
Why are there blood stains in the Hogwarts dungeons? Did they go through a time portal to Deathly Hallows when the Death Eaters controlled the school and were torturing people? Or maybe Moldermore was inside the school after all and he already got Dumbledore.
then they hard a loud whuispering
Loud whispering? How can a whisper be loud?
“wohohoho I am a crepy gosht what are yo doing in my dgunegon?
I think he meant to have the ghost say “Woohoohoohoo” instead of “Wohohoho,” but he left out an O or two.
Helo ghoast we are here for looking Moualdmore” “No this is my palce not yours pefair to fight!” and so they did figt the ghasot.
Um, you do know you can’t kill a ghost, right? They’re kinda incorporeal.
Lupus did a fliepdno but it bounced of the chains and then Mcdongalos did a avdranka debadrea spell but the ghost was alraedy ded it didnt work oh no!
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Where did McGonagall learn an Unforgivable Curse? I thought she was a first year! She could go to Azkaban for that!
The gost scraem loud and did a evil stare at Sarsman and he fell ower and hurt his nees.
He only hurt his knees? I would make a comment here about how this author is like Dakari-King Mykan, afraid to injure his characters seriously, but the truth is that KingAurthr2 has written many other stories where characters really do get hurt and even die.
Then lumpus did an expextro petrolium spell
and it summons the ghost animals to hit the bad ghoast and he died.
I guess you can kill a ghost. How does Lupus already know how to create a Patronus? They don’t teach that in the first year, and many adult wizards have difficulty with a simple Patronus Charm. A Corporeal Patronus is very rare, but Lupus can produce multiple Patronuses by the sound of it. I’m starting to think he might be a Mary-Sue. I guess making a canon character into a Sue is better than creating a Mary-Sue OC, though.
Oh, and you’d think that if there was an evil ghost in the basement, Dumbledore would have taken care of him long ago.
“Hooray” said lupus duneogn is snafe now we must stop the bad Moulderot before he kills Fumbleore.”!
Okay, I changed my mind. “Bumbledore” is not the funniest misspelling of “Dumbledore.” “Fumbledore” is. The crowning joke is that the author put the final exclamation point outside of the quotation marks.
Well, that’s the end of the story. I don’t know why KingAurthr2 decided to stop writing here. Maybe he became bored with this story, or maybe he realized that if Lupus killed Moldermore, Voldemort would never be born. Anyway, this is the Wheel, signing off!