1597: Digiball Z: The Movie – Chapter Two

Title: Digiball Z: The Movie
Author: Dakari-King Mykan
Media: Anime
Topic: Digimon/Dragonball Z
Genre: Adventure/Action/Crossover
URL:  Chapter Two
Critiqued by AwkwardFerret

LAST TIME ON DIGIBALL Z:

The Digi-Z Fighters or…whatever the fuck they’re called…make their debut, putting away a group of delinquents without any effort, just like always! But is all as idyllic as it seems? It’s time to find out, on DIGIBALL Z!

CHAPTER TWO

Perfect day for a picnic and trouble

Hm…how about a riff instead?

In the Digital world Young Gennai had finally set up his operations in a floating palace high in the sky, just like Lord Kami.

Pompous git.

He was able to keep track of everything that was going on in the Digital world, and make sure that no evil was up and about.

Especially in the girls’ locker rooms.

Gennai was also the guardian of the eight Digiballs that he made himself, but he didn’t have them right now.

He made it so that when all Eight of the Digiballs, Courage, Friendship, Love, Sincerity, Knowledge, Reliability, Hope, and Light, when all were gathered, Shenmon would appear and grant three wishes.

When I finish this riff, I’m going to punch Mykan in the face, when I finish this riff.

The balls would then scatter about all over the world, and turned to stone for a whole year, and it had only been three months since the balls were used.

Wish for the limit to only be a month. Done.

Wherever the balls were now, they were completely useless,

Heh.

and even if you able to find them, you have to wait to have your wishes.

Try wishing for some grammar next time.

“Gennai… Gennai!” came a deep mystical voice from above. Gennai looked up and saw Azulongmon, and he looked rather shaken.

“Azulongmon, what is happening?” he asked.

Azulongmon: “I just had Taco Bell, and it’s back with a vengeance!”

Azulongmon shuddered in fear, “I fear it has happened, and they have finally been awakened!”

Gennai dropped his cup of tea and dashed to his telescope that he view the entire Digital world from, and what he saw did not look pretty!

It had been taken over by furries! Dildos and badly-made fursuits as far as the eye could see! What horrors!

Meanwhile, in the Real world

The Tai and the original Digi destined met Davis and the gang at Izzy’s house.

“Nothing like a good old fashioned group picnic in the Digital world on a day like this!” said Tai as he twirled his soccer-ball on his finger.

See, Tai doesn’t actually know how to play soccer, he just does that to look cool.

“Real funny Tai.” Sora teased, “All you can think about is Soccer, Soccer, Soccer!”

Even though he clearly has no idea how to play it. Pay attention, Sora.

Everyone shared a laugh, and then Izzy gave them the thumbs up to travel into the portal. “Alright then… Let’s rock this world!” said Davis. “Digi-Port Open!”

Veemon promptly bent over and reached behind to start spreading. “No, not that one, the other one!”

They all scrambled into the portal, and emerged in the nice lushing meadows of the Digital world.

“Gee… the Digi world looks so much more beautiful since Myotismon was destroyed!”

Yeah, it looked like complete shit before Davis iced the bastard. What a fucking dump.

said Mimi. “It’s so rich, and pretty.”

“Yeah… and it’s all thanks to yours truly!” Davis bragged playfully. For once the others actually didn’t mind what he said.

Normally they would have start beating the shit out of him.

It was true everyone tried their hardest in the battles, but it was really Davis who did most of the work, and Davis who destroyed the beast once and for all.

Yeah, Digimon was never about friendship and teamwork, it was always about one guy hogging all the glory like an asshole!

And because Cell-Myotismon was destroyed right down to the last bit of data, there was nothing left of him to ever be reborn again, not even a spirit.

Even though the same thing happened to Veemon and Patamon in the last story, and as far as I can tell, they’re A-OK, so maybe shut the fuck up, Mykan?

But those days were over, today was a time to kick back, relax and feel you butt grow.

Excuse me?

Tai, Davis and a couple of the boys were off playing Soccer, Davis and Ken promised not to use their super speeds.

I don’t know how they would, since apparently, their asses have, like, fucktupled in size.

The girls were spending time talking about their days with the rest of the guys, and the Digimon were all playing about.

Gatomon was happily relaxing in the sun with her own pair of shades on. Veemon poked his head of the lake. “I Shee you Cat-Woman!” he said playfully.

VEEMON

ENJOYS: Long walks on the beach, leering at women, Gatomon

DISLIKES: Restraining orders, pepper spray, TK

“No, no… No Cat-woman now, Veemon.” Gatomon said. “Oh come on, you know you want to.” Veemon replied, and he sucked up some water in his mouth and…

“AQUA-SPRAY!!”

For fuck’s sake, you two, not in public!

Gatomon sprung up when the water hit her. “Hey… no, no!!” and then the she fell in.

Into…what? Was she on one of those recliner float things, or just by the side? Maybe if we had some indication of what the fucking SETTING was, I could decipher this asinine riddle!

Veemon playfully splashed her, until finally she gave in. She spun round and splashed him back. “Now I’m using my Wave-Whacker on you.” She teased.

“Whoa… hey… eashy there!”

Veemon: “I like having an intact penis!”

Gatomon even made some playful cat noises the closer she got to him. “Hiss… Meow… Hiss… Meow!”

Okay, seriously, they’re about to fuck, right? Like, in front of everybody?

She and Veemon embraced in a soft kiss, and disappeared under the water. “Whoa-hooo Nellie!” said Armadillamon. “Those two just soak it up like a biscuit in a barrel of gopher-gravy.”

Armadillomon, please never say anything ever again.

Wait, no, that was Armadillamon that said that completely stupid and ridiculous thing. Carry on, then.

“You know, it’s really not nice for you to peak.” Said Hawkmon from in the tree.

And now apparently Armadillamon is pitching tents in public. What the hell is with these maniacs?

“Oh yeah… you should talk, you’re eyes aren’t all that in a basket of fruit either.” Replied Armadillamon.

“I uh… wasn’t peeking… I was…!” he gave in, he couldn’t resist looking either.

This just keeps getting worse and worse! A group masturbation session in a tree while watching Gatomon and Veemon fucking in a pool? What’s next, bestiality?

Wait, no, that’s a non-zero possibility! Fuck this story!

After a good lunch everyone stretched out on the gigantic blanket and yawned. “Ah… who’s up for a nap?” asked Jun.

“Count me in.” said Tai through his yawn. “Soccer always knocks it out of me.”

Tai: “What with all those touchdowns I scored from the three-point line.”

Davis stretched out his arms. “Even Saiyans need their rest once in a while.” He said.

Everyone, and the Digimon each stretched out on the gigantic picnic blanket. Davis gazed upon the sleeping Kari as he lay down beside her.

And perhaps inevitably, the orgy begins.

She really meant the whole Universe to him, take away Kari, and you’d take away his one reason for wanting to stay alive.

You know, if I was Kari and I read that particular bit of narration, I wouldn’t be charmed, I’d be fucking well creeped out by this obsessive creep.

Davis bent down gently and pecked her cheek. She moaned happily and snuggled close to her boyfriend. Davis then let out another yawn and fell asleep himself.

Meanwhile

Just on the other side of the forest, there lay a village of Digimon, that was under a storm of Dark and smoky clouds.

It’s called a cold front. You’ll be fine, you big babies.

The Digimon all seemed to be running away from something that was rather ENORMOUS!!

“Heh, heh, heh… You can run, but you cannot hide from me!” the monster said in a very deep growling voice.

“I hacked into Gennai’s creepy locker room surveillance system! I see everything!”

A lot of Digimon bodies were lying dead behind the monster, all of them looked as though as their data had been sucked dry from their skins.

Because data is…what?

“No, one escapes from the wraths of Kyokotsumon!” the monster growled, and then whirled a huge Ball on a chain.

“GROUND POUND MASH!!”

First thing I thought of. Whoever this Kyokotsumon guy is, I gotta say: great taste in music!

He slammed it against the ground with such brute force that some of the houses collapsed under the stress.

“Geh. Hee, Hee, Hee! Come to Papa!” he chuckled as he reached out his Huge hand and grabbed a family of Digimon and popped them into his mouth.

And now vore, why the fuck not!

He swirled them around, and sucked their data blood dry, and then spit their motionless bodies out again. Suddenly, his huge body began to jiggle a little and grew yet another millimeter in size.

What, just a millimeter? I don’t think this method is very efficient.

“Yes… the power, I can feel it.”

In almost no time, the village was sucked dry. All the citizen were lost, and all the houses were crushed.

See, normally this would be horrifying and a shocking demonstration of Mr. Bad Guy’s evil villainousness, but the complete lack of actual description and the knowledge that the Digiballs can effortlessly reverse this make it a complete nothing.

“RRR… That was far too easy.” Said Kyokotsumon, “But I’d dare say that I am ready for a much bigger attack.”

He stomped off into the forest knocking down all the trees in his path looking for more food, and if possible some Digimon to kill.

…Aren’t Digimon the food? Why the distinction? Is he just gonna eat a bunch of trees or what?

Meanwhile

The Digi destined and Digimon all woke up from their naps, but to a shocking surprise that the sky was covered in strange dark clouds.

“Maybe we shouldn’t have been lazing around like a bunch of assholes!”

Also, Davis, Kari, Cody, Ken, TK, and Yolei, could all sense a Huge energy coming from somewhere.

It was so Huge it needed a capital letter.

“What kind of Digimon has energy this big?” asked Yolei.

“I’m not sure it even is a Digimon.” Said TK, “But it is really big!”

“Yeah, it sure is.” Said Davis. “Tai, Agumon, and Veemon, We’ll go on up ahead and check this out.”

Tai: “Who died and made you king? Suck my dick, Davis! It’ll give you a break from sucking Veemon’s!”

Davis: “Hey, I’ll have you know that I ALWAYS top!”

“The rest of you should go back home.” Said Tai, “I don’t want you getting caught up in this if it’s that dangerous.”

The others didn’t really see any point in arguing.

Davis’ word is LAW.

“Davis.” Said Kari.

“Yeah?”

She pulled him into a soft kiss. “You be careful out there.” She said. Davis promised her nothing bad was going to happen.

Okay, then what the hell was the last two chapters?

Jun and Tai exchanged the same comments, and then they all headed off. “Alright Davis, which way is it.” Asked Agumon.

Davis shut his eyes and concentrated on the energy. “This way!” he said pointing to the North, and off they went.

Kyokotsumon: “Uh, guys, I’m over here? Guys?”

What will befall our heroes now that they’ve set off on a new battle? What new sexual perversions will they devise? Will Kyokotsumon find an actual motivation beyond “vague evil”? Find out next time, on Digiball Z!

 

Advertisements

28 Comments on “1597: Digiball Z: The Movie – Chapter Two”

  1. AdmiralSakai says:

    the nice lushing meadows of the Digital world.

    The meadows were succumbing to alcoholism?

  2. AdmiralSakai says:

    But those days were over, today was a time to kick back, relax and feel you butt grow.

    Excuse me?

    Yeah, seriously, what?

    Please don’t tell me this is going to turn into that sort of ‘fic…

  3. AdmiralSakai says:

    “Oh yeah… you should talk, you’re eyes aren’t all that in a basket of fruit either.” Replied Armadillamon.

    … what?

  4. BatJamags says:

    But those days were over, today was a time to kick back, relax and feel you butt grow.

    … The fuck?

  5. BatJamags says:

    “Whoa-hooo Nellie!” said Armadillamon. “Those two just soak it up like a biscuit in a barrel of gopher-gravy.”

    … The fuck?!

  6. BatJamags says:

    In almost no time, the village was sucked dry. All the citizen were lost, and all the houses were crushed.

    And all your bases were belong to us.

  7. BatJamags says:

    It was so Huge it needed a capital letter.

    Could it, perhaps, have been ‘UGE?

  8. BatJamags says:

    “What kind of Digimon has energy this big?” asked Yolei.

    “I’m not sure it even is a Digimon.” Said TK, “But it is really big!”

    Wait, is it big? I can’t tell.

    • andiliteman says:

      It is. Quite big, actually, to the point that Mykan can’t find out how to describe it other than using the same word. Repeatedly. It’s like the Hellfire thing in My Inner Life.

  9. AdmiralSakai says:

    You know, if I was Kari and I read that particular bit of narration, I wouldn’t be charmed, I’d be fucking well creeped out by this obsessive creep.

    Who, Dakari King Mykan?

  10. andiliteman says:

    “Nothing like a good old fashioned group picnic in the Digital world on a day like this!” said Tai as he twirled his soccer-ball on his finger.
    “Real funny Tai.” Sora teased, “All you can think about is Soccer, Soccer, Soccer!”

    But, he was just talking about a group picnic in the digi world! But because he just happens to be holding a soccer ball means his whole friggin’ life has to revolve around it, despite the fact that he’s actually thinking about a picnic with his friends right you.
    Screw you, Sora.

  11. andiliteman says:

    “It was true everyone tried their hardest in the battles, but it was really Davis who did most of the work, and Davis who destroyed the beast once and for all.”

    So, he’s Lightning Dawn, pretty much?

  12. andiliteman says:

    But those days were over, today was a time to kick back, relax and feel you butt grow.

    Wut?

  13. andiliteman says:

    Just on the other side of the forest, there lay a village of Digimon, that was under a storm of Dark and smoky clouds.The Digimon all seemed to be running away from something that was rather ENORMOUS!!
    “Heh, heh, heh… You can run, but you cannot hide from me!” the monster said in a very deep growling voice. A lot of Digimon bodies were lying dead behind the monster, all of them looked as though as their data had been sucked dry from their skins.

    FRICK! Titan’s back!

    “No, one escapes from the wraths of Kyokotsumon!” the monster growled, and then whirled a huge Ball on a chain.

    Oh. Nevermind. I’ts Kyokolololomon.

    “GROUND POUND MASH!!”

    Nope. It’s definately Titan.

  14. andiliteman says:

    What will befall our heroes now that they’ve set off on a new battle?
    What new sexual perversions will they devise?
    Will Kyokotsumon find an actual motivation beyond “vague evil”?
    Find out next time, on Digiball Z!

    I’m guessing, in order: Sailor Moon, far too many, that’s impossible and does it really matter?

  15. Delta XIII says:

    Wherever the balls were now, they were completely useless,

  16. Delta XIII says:

    1957: Digiball Z: The Movie – Chapter Two

    Unless we decided to skip a few hundred snarks, I think that’s supposed to be 1597.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s