1582: I’ll protect you – Chapter 4

Title: I’ll protect you
Author: Sessh-Amy
Media: Video Games
Topic: Slender: The Eight Pages
Genre: Romance/Hurt/Comfort
URL: Chapter 4
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

Hello, dear Patrons, and welcome to yet another chapter of Slender Man fic! Only :sigh: six more to go.

In the last chapter, things went off the rails fast as Thaddeus the sorrow-sponge was chased through the woods by Designated Asshole Gerald and his assorted minions, who were quickly picked off by Slendy. Designated Asshole Gerald then became Rapist Gerald and attempted to sexually assault Thaddeus so that Slendy could swoop in and save him. Slendy dashed Gerald’s head against a tree, possibly killing him, and then Thaddeus thanked the terrifying tentacle monster for committing potentially murderous violence on his behalf.

Yes, this is a wonderful beginning for a healthy relationship.

It was also revealed that the author has completely run out of ideas and has started soliciting plot-bits from her audience, so I expect things to get much weirder at a much faster pace.

Author notes*

And there’s yet another Author’s Note. Great. I bet there’s one at the end of the chapter, too.

OMG I love your reviews.

Of course you do, they are overwhelmingly positive.

So on the last chapter I asked you guys “What would you like the next chapter to have?” and almost 90% of you wanted Thaddeus to elope with the slender man XD

… And apparently many of those leaving reviews endorse the idea of a child of indeterminate age marrying a paranormal entity that could be centuries older than they are. I blame Twilight.

I never had that idea in mind lololol

That almost earns you a redemption cookie, author.

Guys I’m not gonna make them run away with each other … yet ;)

:sighs: Never mind.

Lol but some of you guys did give me an idea on how to start this chapter off XD

I’m all a-flutter.

No, wait; that’s an alert on my cell phone. :checks screen: Ugh. Not again.

:puts phone away:

If I find out who showed Syl how to use SnapChat, I’m going to make them sorry.

Thanks for the many reviews BTW! I do have a story line on this and I will add most of your thoughts to this story XD Just give me more ideas and i might just add it XD

Technically “I want my OC and Slendy to have sex!” could count as a story line, but it’s not really enough to sustain a multi-chapter work.

Enjoy!

That seems of all things unlikely.

Thaddeus P.O.V.

:eye-twitch:

Oh, right – the POV Tags. I almost forgot about those.

It was my pleasure… the creature said, nodding his head.

Tiny bit of overlap with the previous chapter, but not as bad as the previous instance of overlap.

“…H-hey n-now that I look at you,” I started, thinking aloud again like an idiot, “you don’t look that s-scary.”

Wha?

Slendy was in full-on tentacle mode when he dealt with Gerald, and Slendy even shoved Thaddeus behind him where the tentacles originate – Thaddeus should have a face full of terror right now.

You think so? he asked, tilting his head to the side. His voice was low and had a light rumble to it when he spoke, almost like a purr.

:Ghostie stares into space:

Mmmm; a deep, rumbly voice ….

:shakes head:

Sorry, I drifted off for a bit; bass voices are like my kryptonite.

It wasn’t scary and raspy like the first time we met, which was yesterday.

Why does he need to remind himself when they first met?

“Y-yeah,” I nodded, scratching the back of my head. There was an awkward tension in the air, which made me fidget a little. This is so weird, what am I suppose to do exactly? What do I say?

Given how heavily the author borrows from anime and manga tropes, I imagine the next step would be for Thaddeus to confess to Slendy-senpai with something like “Please go out with me!”

A groan was suddenly heard and we looked back towards Gerald, he began to stir in his sleep. “Oh-oh,” I gulped, backing away from my attacker.

Hey, he’s not dead! Too bad I still don’t care.

Don’t worry about him, the creature suddenly said as he stalked over to Gerald. He hunched over, touched Gerald’s shoulder, and just in the blink of an eye they both disappeared in thin air.

Ah, so Slendy can teleport. That’s a canon power, but one he hasn’t been making much use of before now. I’m not certain if his teleportation abilities are strong enough to transport another person, or if doing so would harm the passenger, but there’s some wiggle room there.

But why did he have to hunch over? Couldn’t he just extend one of his tentacles? He did it just the day before when he attached that appendage-bit to Thaddeus – an appendage-bit that would still have to be in place for Thaddeus to hear Slendy speaking to him, which says something about Thaddeus’ lack of  ankle hygiene.

“W-What just happened?” I asked myself, rubbing at my eyelids and looking around. I walked over to the tree and looked around it. “How did he do that?” I asked before the tall man appeared in front of me. “Whoa!” I gasped, jumping back. “W-Where’s Gerald?”

I have the feeling that Thaddeus isn’t all that quick on the uptake. Granted he did just go through a very traumatic experience so he probably isn’t in the best mental state, but that didn’t stop him from getting his awkward flirt on with Slendy a second ago.

He is at his home, he answered.

“What about his friends?” I asked.

I guess Thaddeus isn’t going to ask how or why Slendy knows where Gerald lives.

I sent them home as well, when they wake, they’ll believe it was all a dream, he said as he began walking down the forest.

I bet a nickel that Thaddeus doesn’t ask about that, either.

I’ll walk you home..

Even though you just demonstrated the ability to teleport?

“O-okay,” I nodded, quickly catching up to him and walking by his side. The walk was silent and almost peaceful. I put my guard down and let myself relax.

:headdesk:

Nope, not going to ask about knowing where Gerald lives, or how Slendy knows where the assorted minions live, or even how he knows where Thaddeus lives. He’s just going to blindly follow the strange tentacle-man into the forest.

Okay, this guy just saved me from being beat up and nearly getting raped, that’s got to mean he’s a good guy, right?

Not necessarily; it would all depend on why he was motivated to save you. You could be his late-night snack.

I glanced up at his “face.”

Something he doesn’t have.

His whole head was pale white, his cheekbone and bridge of where his nose should be were slightly defined, and he had no eyes, ears, and a mouth.

:rubs forehead:

We finally get a description of what a character looks like, and it’s a character known for having no discernible facial features. Awesome.  Although the ambiguous language used doesn’t really clarify if Slendy currently has a mouth or not.

He looked to be about 6.7

:THWACK!:

feet tall and had a broad chest and shoulders.

He sounds just dreamy, but that’s an awfully specific measurement if you are just guessing Slendy’s height. This is one area where generalized terms are more acceptable, such as saying “over six and a half feet tall” or “nearly seven feet tall”, since very few people go around trying to accurately assess the height of others.

His head turns towards me, causing me to blush and look away quickly.

:headdesk:

Why do you hide your head? he asked.

Because he’s embarrassed?

“What?” I asked, looking back at him. He reaches a hand out towards me and touches my sweaters hoodie.

It’s just a hood; “hoodie” is the colloquial term for a hooded sweatshirt.

“Oh, when did I put this on?” I questioned myself.

You probably didn’t; given how much you were flailing around and Slendy jerking you out from under Gerald, it probably fell into place on its own.

“Did I have my hoodie on the whole time?

Unless you have the sweatshirt draped over your head, it’s still just the hood.

… I hate my hair,” I admitted, looking at a the path ahead.

Why is that? he tilted his head to the side, awaiting an answer.

:headdesk:

Why are they talking about Thaddeus’ hair? Also – Thaddeus is the central protagonist and this is the first physical trait we’ve gotten for him in four frickin’ chapters. We still don’t even know how old he is!

“Well, I was told that it was ugly and that blond is a stupid color,” I said, remembering all the times i was teased for having blond hair.

Wait, what?

The author really is digging deep in the barrel of anime and manga tropes, aren’t they? Blonde hair is uncommon in Japan, with its predominantly dark-haired and dark-eyed phenotypes, and is typically associated with counterculture groups like Gyaru Girls and yankii gangs. Giving a character blonde hair is a quick and easy way to identify them as an outsider in the visual shorthand of the mediums,  but it doesn’t translate well for Western audiences since that’s not really a part of our culture.

My town is so small that me and my family were literally the only blonds in the whole neighborhood.

And apparently your town is so small you only have one residential neighborhood, which I find very unlikely.

I furrowed my brows as my chest tightened. My hair was such a big problem that in sixth grade Gerald decided to give me a hair cut.

Is that something guys do? I know girls will sometimes attempt to cut each other’s hair (which is why I had a puffy little fringe of bangs when I was eight, an experience that put me off the idea of bangs forever) but I don’t really have any experience with guys doing the same thing.

…I like your hair, the tall man suddenly said, breaking me out of my thoughts. My heart skipped a beat as I looked back at him with wide eyes.

:pokes fic with Mr. Crowbar:

I see one “doki-doki” and you’re going to get it.

He grabbed a yellow leaf from a tree branch. It’s as lovely as a yellow ginkgo leaf, he said, handing the leaf over to me.

…That’s a weird thing to say to someone. Did the author steal that line from an anime?

“Y-you really like it?” I asked again, a small blush on my cheeks. He nodded his head as I held the leaf in my hand. A small smile formed on my lips as I twisted the leaf’s stem around in my fingers. “…Thank you,” I said almost in a whisper, letting my hood fall off my head and to my shoulders.

:headdesk:

The rash of partially-formed expressions and emotions continues to spread.

The walk home was long and silent, but it was nice either way.

The hell does that mean? “Either” indicates a choice between two or more alternatives or that a similarity exists between two statements – it doesn’t apply here.

I haven’t felt this much peace in a while. My house was not too far away from where we are and to be honest I didn’t want this peace to leave.

If his house isn’t far, does that mean he was running home when Gerald attacked him? That’s probably something that should have been brought up sooner, since it justifies his head-long dash into the woods.

“…Can I ask you something?” I then asked, breaking the comfortable silence we had. He turns his head towards me. “Um h-how do you know my name and where I live?” I asked, hoping he isn’t a stalker or something.

:thud!:

Yes, finally! There’s that other shoe!

…Thaddeus, do you remember your childhood? he questioned.

I don’t know, do you believe that dolphins have souls?

Sorry, I thought we were just making random non sequiturs. Please continue.

“My childhood? Not really, I try blocking it out as much as I can,” I answered.

Even the good memories? he then asked.

“…I don’t think I had any good memories,” I laughed, coming to a stop as we reached my houses back yard.

Yes, yes, yes; his life has been consistently terrible since birth without a single speck of joy cluttering up the gloomy landscape of despair. Can we drag another dead horse out of the stables now?

Thaddeus… he says, as I looked up at him, No matter how bad a situation gets, I will not let that situation be the reason for my downfall, I will live on…

That’s a weird thing to say right now. Are you positive we aren’t just spouting out non sequiturs?

“…Downfall…” I repeated. These words sound so familiar to me. Where did I hear these words before?

:shrugs:

I dunno. Are they song lyrics?

A small headache began to form on my head as I thought hard. I rubbed my fingers on the temples of my head. Damn it! It’s going to bother me so much if I don’t remember who said these words!

He did.

:points at Slendy:

It was literally seconds ago. Did you hit your head on something?

I’ll make sure no one will hurt you again, Thaddeus, he assured before hunching over and putting his hand on my cheek. I’ll watch over you from now on my kitten, I’ll see you soon…

BAD TOUCH!

:THWACK!:

Take your hands/tentacles off the potential jailbait and step away slowly with all of your appendages raised.

“Kitten? W-wait!” I said before he could disappear away or something.

Is that something that’s likely to happen? He doesn’t seem to be in any hurry to leave you.

“What’s your name, or what can I call you?”

Some people call me the space cowboy.

Call me by my man given name, he said before disappearing in thin air once again. Slender man…

On one hand, it would be interesting to see if Slendy has a name of his own and what it might be, but on the other hand … badfic.

“Slender… man,” I repeated, looking around my yard. I wonder where he disappears off too.

That’s also something that I’d like to know, but I have a feeling the author isn’t going to explore that avenue very much if it interferes with her attempts to force a romance.

“Slender man is this tall creature, with no face, that stalks after little kids and takes them away forever! But watch out, if you take one of his treasured pieces of paper then he’ll come get ya!” Carlos words echoed in my head.

I don’t remember Carlos using quite that many commas when he spoke.

“…He doesn’t seem at all like a bad guy though,” I said before heading inside my house. “I’m home!” I yelled to no one. Anna and Dad wont be home in a few hours.

He beat the shit out of at least one person, probably more. Just because he didn’t beat you up, doesn’t mean he wouldn’t turn that violence on you at some point. Someone with a history of abuse would be extremely cautious around someone who exhibited those tendencies.

Gerald P.O.V.

:groans:

Not this asshole!

“Ahhh!” I shouted, sitting up and crawling back until my back hit the wall.

Sudden scene shift is sudden.

“Damn it!” I cursed, hunching over. My back was screaming in pain, like, like it’s all bruised up or something!

You did just slam yourself into a wall, you know.

I looked at my surroundings, where am I?

:stares into Void:

You  appear to be surrounded misty nothingness.

“I’m home?” I questioned, noticing the familiar posters, the flat screen, and scattered laundry. I was in my room.

Now it’s misty nothingness, a few posters, a TV, and some laundry.

Gerald must be a fan of minimalism; he doesn’t need a bed or furniture, just a TV and a pile of laundry to burrow in for warmth. Sounds a bit like my cats, now that I think about it. (If you have four cats, laundry becomes an extreme sport.)

“What the fuck happened?” I questioned myself as I grabbed my phone from my pocket and dialed Jose’s number.

He actually physically dialed his close friend’s phone number? From memory?

Author, you have a better chance of convincing me that unicorns exist and have their own intermural bowling league than you do of convincing me that a modern kid would dial his friend’s number rather than using his phone’s Contacts list.

“Hnng hello?” Jose groaned on the line.

“Jose! What happened?” I asked as I got off of the bed and headed towards the bathroom.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean where the hell are you guys and how did I get home?”

“I don’t really know dude, I just woke up,”

:yawns:

Y’know, this sounds like a fairly typical conversation for late-high-school to early-college age dudebros. All that’s missing is a reference to someone getting “totally wasted!” or some such nonsense.

“Really? You don’t remember anything?” I asked, lifting my shirt up and turning to look at my back’s reflection in the mirror.

And promptly broke his neck.

I gasped as I looked at the giant purple, green-ish, bruise forming on my back.

Considering Slendy tossed you into a tree hard enough to knock you unconscious, you’re lucky that all you got was a bruise. It could have been much worse.

And exactly how long has Gerald been unconscious? This is supposed to be a fresh bruise, but bruises don’t typically turn green for some time since it takes a while for the hemoglobin to start breaking down. And why does he even have a bruise? Slendy cured Thaddeus’ wounds, because reasons, and he was going to make Gerald believe that the entire incident was a dream – leaving physical evidence would be counter-productive.

“…Well… never mind, it was probably a dream,” Jose laughed.

“Tell me,” I ordered, pulling my shirt back down.

“Fine… I remember a tall guy, with no face, choking me and growling some shit like don’t touch my kitten,

Jose must be very close to Gerald if he’s willing to admit that he’s having dreams about kittens and being choked by a man.

“Did he wear a suit?”

“A suit?”

“Yeah a suit!”

The unattributed voices appear to have very specific demands when it comes to their homoerotic asphyxiation dreams.

“Yeah… he did! Did you see him too?”

You mean, did Other Unattributed Voice see him in your dream? Why would he have seen something that happened in your dream, Unattributed Voice? Did you forget that one of you thinks it was all a dream?

“Yeah I did, he slammed me against the tree and now I have a damn bruise,”

Maybe you should ask Jose if he has any bruises, possibly around his neck?

“Really? Oh my god, what do we do? Are Zack and Rob okay? DO YOU THINK THEIR DEAD?!” he panicked, I can hear him hyperventilating on the other line.

If only some sort of device existed that would allow you to communicate with someone over great distances!

“They’re not dead idiot, if it didn’t kill us then it didn’t kill them,” I reasoned as I sat at my desks chair and flipped open my laptop.

I don’t think you have a big enough sample to make that assumption, sport.

“But what was it though?!” he shouted on my ear. “Was it Slender man?!”

Dude. Volume control.

“Slender Man?” I thought for a second. He did have the appearance of Slender man, not to mention he also had tentacles.

So do octopi and squid, so does that mean all members of genus cephalopoda are Slender Man?

“Yeah him, you never heard of Slender man?”

“Of course I have you idiot,” I growled, typing down said creatures name on the Google search bar.

Which means you haven’t, or you wouldn’t be Googling him – although it looked as if you did know who he was a few seconds ago and now I’m all confused.

“What do we do?! We have to tell someone!”

How exactly would you do that? Write a creepypasta about your experience in the woods and post it on the Internet?

…Actually, that would explain a lot.

“And say what? Oh we were attacked by a fictional creature while we, ourselves, were trying to attack Thaddeus, oh please help us! Oh yeah, like we wont be sent to a mental hospital, or prison,”

I think only Gerald would be facing charges – battery for the hallway incident and aggravated assault for that attempted rape. The assorted minions never actually touched Thaddeus, Slendy took them out before they got a chance, so there’s probably nothing they could be charged with in this particular instance. Mostly likely the authorities would write off the whole incident as nothing but a bunch of punk-ass kids causing trouble and making shit up.

“Then what the fuck do you think we should do?”

“Simple,” I smiled from ear to ear, “We fight fire with water.”

Ummm … Although technically correct, that’s not how the saying goes.

Authors note*

Oh, goody. That means the chapter’s over.

WOW! :O Where has Thaddeus heard these words before? Why do they sound familiar?

And why should I care? They made absolutely no sense in context.

Oh-oh, Gerald wants to fight back! What will he do?

No doubt it will be something stupid, pointlessly cruel, and implausible.

lol short I know but I wanted to update xD

There is not now, nor has there ever been, a set requirement for chapter length.  Stephanie Meyer got away with adding three pages that were completely blank save for a single word to one of her books, and she’s technically a published author.

What do you think shall be the slender mans weakness? I was thinking about using the cross but that is to cliche XP

:headdesk:

:headdesk:

:headdesk:

That’s really the sort of thing you should think about while you’re creating the character, not four frickin’ chapters into the work.

Most “traditional” monsters have an associated weakness or something that restricts them in some way – crosses and garlic for vampires, silver for werewolves, etc. – and in that respect, Slendy already has a known “weakness”. He can only stalk his prey when they can’t see him, a restriction that the author has thoroughly trampled all over.

Comment and Subscribe! lol Also! The Ginkgo leaf thing! I totally stole that from an anime called Detective conan xD I love that anime! Check it out lol

I KNEW it!

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74 Comments on “1582: I’ll protect you – Chapter 4”

  1. AdmiralSakai says:

    So on the last chapter I asked you guys “What would you like the next chapter to have?” and almost 90% of you wanted Thaddeus to elope with the slender man XD

    WHAT

  2. AdmiralSakai says:

    His head turns towards me, causing me to blush and look away quickly.

    Oh, hi there tense shift!

  3. AdmiralSakai says:

    “Oh, when did I put this on?” I questioned myself.

    When you became a creepypasta character?
    Seriously, they’re like a goddamn requirement these days.

  4. Jake Goff says:

    This is one of the dumbest fics I’ve ever seen. It tries to be good but completely fails to do so.

    • GhostCat says:

      The author’s trying too hard to have it both ways; she wants to retain some of the dark and disturbing creepypasta elements while still writing a sugar-and-light Romance fic, and it’s not integrating well.

    • BatJamags says:

      Dumbest you’ve ever seen? We can fix that.

      *Gestures to the Card Catalog of the Damned*

      Take your pick. Some of them aren’t quite this bad, but there are some gems.

      If you interpret “gems” to mean “nuggets of fecal matter.”

      It’s really the same thing, if you think about it.

  5. BatJamags says:

    six more to go.

    Hmm… Nope. I’m deciding that this is the last one.

    Please?

  6. AdmiralSakai says:

    …Thaddeus, do you remember your childhood? he questioned.

    You mean the childhood Thaddeus is currently in?

  7. AdmiralSakai says:

    The unattributed voices appear to have very specific demands when it comes to their homoerotic asphyxiation dreams.

    Sessh-Amy? ‘Zat you?

  8. AdmiralSakai says:

    “Slender Man?” I thought for a second. He did have the appearance of Slender man, not to mention he also had tentacles.

    So if everybody knows about Slenderman, does that mean that Slender: The Eight Pages is a thing inside the story?

  9. AdmiralSakai says:

    “Simple,” I smiled from ear to ear, “We fight fire with water.”

    What do you think shall be the slender mans weakness?

    DUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR………….

    Mercury!

    No, wait… crude oil!

    No, I know it, I know it… it’s LIQUID NITROGEN!!

  10. AdmiralSakai says:

    I was thinking about using the cross but that is to cliche XP

    Well that sure as hell hasn’t stopped you before!

  11. AdmiralSakai says:

    I totally stole that from an anime called Detective conan xD I

    Detective conan

    Detective

    conan

    Ok, this is either the worst TV show in existence, or the best.

  12. BatJamags says:

    Dear GOD that is an obnoxious author’s note. Literally every sentence has an emoticon or some variation of “lol.” Or both.

  13. BatJamags says:

    If I find out who showed Syl how to use SnapChat, I’m going to make them sorry.

    Well, it was kind of a group effort.

  14. BatJamags says:

    Ah, so Slendy can teleport. That’s a canon power, but one he hasn’t been making much use of before now. I’m not certain if his teleportation abilities are strong enough to transport another person, or if doing so would harm the passenger, but there’s some wiggle room there.

    I always thought of his teleportation as more than just hopping around, I guess that’s mostly because you never see him doing it. He’s just always behind you when you turn around.

    • GhostCat says:

      In the games he’s actively pursuing someone in a relatively confined space so his jumps wouldn’t need to be very big, there’s not really any evidence for or against him being able to go longer distances.

  15. BatJamags says:

    He’s just going to blindly follow the strange tentacle-man into the forest.

    Which, honestly, even if it’s not Slenderman, is never a good idea.

    • TacoMagic says:

      I’d say “this is how tentacle porn begins,” but, with where this fic is obviously going, we all know that this is how tentacle porn begins.

      • GhostCat says:

        I haven’t made it all the way through the fic, but thus far the chapters of this alleged slashfic that I have read have contained very little slash. The author has written graphic sex scenes before so it isn’t something she’s uncomfortable with – it’s almost as if she just forgot about it.

      • Andiliteman says:

        Well, I don’t see any point in reminder her, thank you.

  16. BatJamags says:

    had a broad chest and shoulders.

    Not especially.

  17. BatJamags says:

    His head turns towards me, causing me to blush and look away quickly.

    Y-

    *Tranquilized*

    GoodJamags: *Somehow manages to twirl tranquilizer rifle* They don’t call me the quickest draw on the Internet for nothin’.

  18. BatJamags says:

    … I hate my hair,” I admitted, looking at a the path ahead.

    He somehow drifted from “I don’t know how this hoodie got on” to “I’m wearing it because I hate my hair.”

  19. BatJamags says:

    Wait, what?

    The author really is digging deep in the barrel of anime and manga tropes, aren’t they? Blonde hair is uncommon in Japan, with its predominantly dark-haired and dark-eyed phenotypes, and is typically associated with counterculture groups like Gyaru Girls and yankii gangs. Giving a character blonde hair is a quick and easy way to identify them as an outsider in the visual shorthand of the mediums, but it doesn’t translate well for Western audiences since that’s not really a part of our culture.

    Uh, yeah. Western culture’s got it’s own stereotypes about blond(e) people, but they don’t really translate to it being “ugly” or “a stupid color.” Blond(e) hair is generally considered attractive, though people with it are sometimes portrayed as stupid or evil.

    Plus, I could’ve sworn it mentioned his having white hair at the beginning, but I guess I’m mistaken about that.

    • BatJamags says:

      My town is so small that me and my family were literally the only blonds in the whole neighborhood.

      I mean, it’s a much less common color than brown, but usually redheads are more likely to be bullied for their hair color.

    • GhostCat says:

      I can’t find any reference to his hair color before this, there’s barely any mention of him even having hair.

      It’s intriguing to me how two cultures can view something as trivial as hair color in such different ways. In the West, blonde hair is typically associated with sex and good times – the “blonde bombshell”, the sandy-haired beach bum, the stereotypical bubble-headed bottle-blonde bimbo. Going blonde is seen as letting loose or having fun while in Japan it’s seen as subversive act.

  20. BatJamags says:

    Yes, yes, yes; his life has been consistently terrible since birth without a single speck of joy cluttering up the gloomy landscape of despair. Can we drag another dead horse out of the stables now?

    Well, Goeth was running some tests in there, so most of them are dead mutant cyborg horses. Is that good enough?

  21. BatJamags says:

    “…Downfall…” I repeated. These words sound so familiar to me. Where did I hear these words before?

    “Downfall” is a pretty common word, bro.

  22. BatJamags says:

    “What’s your name, or what can I call you?”

    I’m Batman.

  23. BatJamags says:

    So do octopi and squid, so does that mean all members of genus cephalopoda are Slender Man?

    My god… It all makes sense now! Slenderman is an agent of the cephalopods sent to take over the surface world!

  24. Andiliteman says:

    “There is not now, nor has there ever been, a set requirement for chapter length. Stephanie Meyer got away with adding three pages that were completely blank save for a single word to one of her books, and she’s technically a published author.”

    Wait, seriously? Why? How?
    I actually have seen that sort of thing before, but it’s generally from more comical, self-aware books. Not, you know, Twilight.

    • GhostCat says:

      I think it’s in New Moon, or whichever one has Edward breaking up with Bella. After the break-up, there’s several blank pages with just the month written on them. I assume it’s meant to show the passage of time, but to me it just seems as if she is literally nothing without him.

      • Andiliteman says:

        Hmm. Interesting choice. I can get behind that.

      • AdmiralSakai says:

        It depends on what it’s trying to get across. As way of showing that time is passing with nothing interesting going on in it, it’s more cumbersome than just showing the end date and skipping the months in between, but I don’t have a strong problem with it.

        If it’s meant to represent depression or something it’s just pretentious and stupid.

      • GhostCat says:

        It’s probably that second thing; Bella becomes even more of a damp washcloth after Edward leaves her, to the point where her actions become almost suicidal due to the fact that when she is in physical danger she starts having hallucinations of Edward.

      • C’mon, Ghostie. Spoilers! I haven’t read that one yet. I wa- *Snicker* I was plan- *Snerk* Planning to re- *Bursts out laughing*

      • GhostCat says:

        I actually recommend reading the books, in much the same way I recommend watching a bad movie – and it can be enjoyed in the same way. I’ve read the whole series; I don’t feel it’s right to just blindly hate something because everyone tells me it’s a bad thing. It is poorly written, but so are a lot if books. Twilight just managed to garner an incredible amount of publicity that blew things way out of proportion. If the series hadn’t gotten so popular, it probably would be the recipient of so much hate.

  25. Angie says:

    Hello, dear Patrons, and welcome to yet another chapter of Slender Man fic!

    Oh boy. Here we go again.

  26. TacoMagic says:

    “Simple,” I smiled from ear to ear, “We fight fire with water.”

    Which means there is only one possible thing they could use to fight Slender Man.

  27. Delta XIII says:

    Given how heavily the author borrows from anime and manga tropes, I imagine the next step would be for Thaddeus to confess to Slendy-senpai with something like “Please go out with me!”

    “Notice me, Slendpai!”


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