1571: The Deletion Scream – Creepypasta One Shot

Title: The Deletion Scream
Author: Firefly Ninja
Media:  The Internet!
Topic: The Internet?
Genre: Creepypasta
URL: The Deletion Scream
Critiqued by Admiral Sakai and Nina

Hello hello all you patrons! Hang onto your kidneys and prepare to suffer massive mind loss, because it’s that time again

Today we don’t have anything that’s massively popular or especially glubbed up… just an otherwise uncategorizable pasta that has pretty good ratings and is really, really dumb. Sakai, you’re a transhumanist, right?”

Umm, yeah? A lot of people in AI research are, actually.

Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

Why do you ask?

Well, I still haven’t forgotten all of that blasphemy against Great Cthulhu in the Lovecraft special… so I think it’s appropriate to treat you to a computer-themed pasta!”

Oh.

Lovely.

Transcript of a Voicemail Message

Date Received: 9/2/2002

Time: 4:45 AM

Receiver: Richard Pagen

Caller: Ian Roder

Do we really need to know any of this? The story isn’t what I’d call fast-paced, so why does it have to say it’s starting at exactly 4:45 AM?”

… Will you pick up?

Wait, if nothing has picked up then how is voicemail already recording?

Fine, fine, you’re busy I get it, but I need you to pick up the phone. I think someone is watching me, maybe not someone… but something. Ever since I collected the evidence, saw the photo and found out its name, I have had a feeling something is watching.

Don’t you think we might be overusing that video a little?”

I’ll stop overusing that video when the Pastaverse stops overusing the phrase. Besides, it’s got a great synth track.

Look, Rick, I might not be alive after this message. So, come round mine, right?

The narrator lives in a mine?”

I think the pasta is supposed to be British.

Folder on the desk, laptop on the couch; take the laptop and burn it. Just do that. And everything will be peachy.

Ok, first of all, a quick PSA- don’t burn electronics, they can release toxic fumes that are bad for anyone nearby and the environment in general, and rechargeable lithium-ion batteries can occasionally explode quite violently. For another thing, putting a laptop in a wood-burning fire (it won’t burn on its own, obviously) is unlikely to destroy the data on it at normal temperatures, since the hard drive is in its own sealed, insulated case and the magnetic material on the platters is relatively heat-resistant.

Also, how come the people in these stories can never just destroy cursed items themselves? They know exactly how to, but they always fob the responsibility off on one of their idiot friends.”

Ian, for a few days had been kinda eccentric, sort of mad. He was a conspiracy nut, believing in all sorts of crap. Like he would believe that the Government was trying to create demon-like animals, by mixing cow and pig DNA.

You know, I was going to make some sort of Trump-voter-related crack here, but then I remembered this is a creepypasta character. Not only is his government guaranteed to indeed be doing that for no comprehensible reason, they’re also overlooking a number of blatantly obvious safety protocols that would keep the experiments from inevitably escaping and massacring them.

And they’ve also given the program some stupid codename like “Operation Cosmic Taint”.

God, he was wrong and everyone else around him thought so. He was the lonely type, just spending time on his computer and talking to his pals on these random conspiracy nets.

Sometimes, he would also write creepypasta.

But, on that day he sounded truly scared, like someone was out to get him.

“So, basically, like every other conspiracy nut, everywhere, all the time.”

What could he have possibly done wrong? The voicemail was enough to make me think that he was in serious trouble. Had he discovered something that could ruin the government’s reputation?

What reputation?!”

Ouch.

Highly unlikely, but I still I had to find out.

When I got to his house, at around 11:30 AM,

“Once again, why do we care?”

the door was open. Looked like he was expecting someone, well he was expecting me so I guess that would solve that little problem. However, as I got inside, that’s when it got a little strange. In other words, he wasn’t there, gone from the face of the earth.

Not being in a specific location ≠ gone from the face of the Earth. He probably just headed down to Woolworth’s to get some scones and forgot to lock the door.

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooo… scary…”

Everything was there! I mean, a man running away scared for his life wouldn’t just leave everything as it was.

Well, actually, unless there was a fight in the house itself a man running away scared for his life wouldn’t have time to not leave everything as it was.”

The only thing out of the ordinary was a phone on the floor.

Ian was a tidy man, kept everything in order; he didn’t have OCD or anything, just tidy. I entered his study; with the feeling someone was watching me. I got what he meant by “being watched.”

“Oh, come on!”

Anyway, I’m just rambling on,

Yes.

Yes you are.”

bet you just want to get to the good stuff?

YES!”

Well, actually, if I wanted to read the good stuff I wouldn’t be on Creepypasta Wiki.

Well, keeping to the guy’s wishes, I took the Laptop,

Seriously, what is with all these stories we’ve been reading recently and capitalizing inappropriate Nouns?

thought I should take the folder too. Might be worth something, could blackmail the government, you know all that crap, get a million quid or somethin’.

Or somethin’.

Get charged with sedition, get missiles fired at everything in your general vicinity, all that crap.”

Well, what I saw in it blew my mind, opened a thousand doors… Nah, messing with you

“*fires several clips from her assault rifle in the ‘fic’s general vicinity*

Stop.

Talking.

Directly.

TO.

US!

it sort of creep me out I guess.

You see, when I got home and place the laptop on my table and opened the folder,

Because it just wouldn’t be a creepypasta without a crapton of tense shifts…

all sorts of things fell out: case files, stuff from a website and various photos of famous landmarks.

I’ll show you what’s in the file…

… seriously, stop that.

I will go with the website source first.

From the Website: http://www.re456&638*0%.co.gov.uk.org.com

That’s… not a valid URL. That’s not even close to being a valid URL. It has an asterisk and ampersand (‘*’ and ‘&’) in the hostname, which is just plain disallowed by the format. It has a random ‘%’ symbol at the end, when percent encoding requires that a ‘%’ symbol be followed either by two ASCII characters that form a hexadecimal value or another ‘%’ character. It has five top-level domains strung onto each other, which is just plain silly and actually makes everything from “org” on to the left the (now really invalid) hostname. (For the record, I actually checked to see what is at org.com, and it is indeed a legitimate hostname that leads to one of those ‘related links’ pages, but there’s no ungodly chain of other TLD-lookalike hostnames leading from it.) I suppose this could be intended to represent a site that’s trying to hide itself through URL formatting tricks, except that it physically doesn’t work and it’d be simpler for the site just to use an unlisted IP address or something.

I realize that I’m being kind of nitpicky here, but… if you’re going to write a pasta about computers, it’s probably a good idea to know something about computers.

Information on The Deletion Scream

The Deletion Scream, by definition, is usually the disembodied screams of a recent victim,

How can it be something ‘by definition’ if it’s only usually that thing?

“Also, it is screams.”

*A large Logic Bomb that is also several Logic Bombs detonate(s) in the distance.*

“…

Why are we still in one piece?”

I think it/they hit the Department of Contradictions Agency Distributed Centralized Command Facility Facilities instead of us.

“Fine by me.”

which can be heard as a high-pitched noise over the speakers of a computer.

Many say the sources of these screams come from a photo the victim saw and deleted after a pop up message comes up usually saying, “This image, if not deleted, will cause ______________ on your computer.” The said “cause” is different to each intended victim.

Ok, this is actually really similar to the outward effects of a rogue antivirus– a type of malware that displays both some kind of threatening content and what looks like a system message telling you the threatening content is dangerous and asking you to download antivirus software to fix it. In actual fact, both the “virus” and the warning are created by the same program, and what it’s asking you to download is either a real piece of malware or the empty frontend of an antivirus program that asks you to pay real money for a non-real full version.

Of course here, little would be served by having a program that gains access to your computer and then immediately has you delete an image it dropped specifically for that purpose… but if it produces its own button to do the deletion and requests administrator privileges to delete files, it could instead use the permission it duped you into giving it to wreak all sorts of havoc.

I’ve got no glubbing idea what any of that has to do with the screams of its ‘victims’, though. It doesn’t glubbing matter how clever the computer stuff behind it is if all it’s really doing is being another bog-standard cursed item that kills anyone who owns it.”

There’s also shaping up to be an awful lot of ‘usually’ in this story. I hope it doesn’t stick around.

The image usually shows a famous landmark,

*twitches*

with a fuzzy image of someone in the background. This fuzzy image is said to be the previous victim’s soul imprinted on the image, and in so doing the deleting of the photo kills the previous victim.

For example, if one person gets the image and then deletes it their soul is imprinted on said image, they will stay alive as long as the image is not deleted. However, when the image appears on someone else’s computer screen and they delete it, the original person who received the image will die

“Well that’s… something a little different, at least. It’s still a cursed item that kills you if you have it, but I haven’t seen one of those that’s one-step removed before.”

I’m not buying it. For one thing, this kind of limits the image’s growth to… well, no growth whatsoever. There’s a much better story (still not all that great, but not especially bad either) called Smile Dog or smile.jpg where a cursed image would compel people who saw it to expose multiple new victims, allowing it to grow exponentially like a real computer virus; here, a new copy of the image is only created when the previous one is destroyed, and thanks to that whole “soul-binding” bit there will only ever be one copy created, so the picture can never really spread. In fact, if somebody just sits on it and never deletes it, it’ll die out entirely!

from the pop up’s “cause” for deleting the image, e.g. The pop up may say, “This image, if not deleted, will cause a virus on your computer.” The person who received the image before will die of a virus.

“Wait, what?”

And this right here is what turns The Deletion Scream from a story with an OK premise and botched execution into a full-on joke- people dying of computer problems!

For one thing, there aren’t that many computer problems that are also fatal to humans (how, exactly, would one die from spyware?). For another… do I really have to explain why this is dumb?

In fact, I’d like to ask you all to help me out in a little experiment- when we get to each one of the deaths this thing causes, do be kind enough to post in the comments what you think the associated computer problem is (without reading ahead, obviously). While several are stupidly obvious, I guarantee you that you won’t be able to come up with anything nearly as bizarre and unrelated as the story did for the others.

As the second person deletes the image, their soul would be imprinted on the image and they would be at risk of being killed by the next receiver of the image, and so on and so forth. This process usually lasts until five to six victims have been chosen and killed, with the last receiver of the image surviving.

Well of course the last receiver of the image survives, if they died it would move onto somebody else and they wouldn’t be the last any more!”

Also, this means the thing has died out- multiple times, in fact! If it has some other means of spreading itself, fine. After all, it had to start somewhere. But then why bother with the whole “chain” angle at all?!

Usual signs of a person being killed by “The Deletion Scream” are usually their last expression being that of a forced scream.

“As opposed to all of those voluntary screams that dying people make.”

I found things weird about it; one was the name of the website. Got to be some conspiracy nut site, you know them types all about the secrecy, like the government supposedly.

“… bwuh?”

Hey kids! See how many accents you can find in the dialogue!

You know, I am a good supporter of the government.

Why are you telling us that?”

Maybe there’s a coup going on and he wants us to know he’s siding with the Loyalists?

“A coup in Britain?”

Sure.

Bet you will want to be shown those case files now. Right, you do. Jesus, don’t be impatient.

Here they are, all five of them:

Case File

*Missing*

Name: Sarah Categ

Date of Birth: 1/4/1982

Age at time of reported missing: 18

Date of report: 5/6/2000

“Yes, I get it, you can do simple subtraction. What do you want, a glubbing cookie?”

Case Notes:

She was last seen in her bedroom on her computer, her roommate says that she was looking through some photos of London; this was at 10:00 pm. Next day, no evidence of her existence could be found. All photos of her seemed to have been burnt and all attempts of pulling up any files on her have proven so far fruitless.

Well, you might want to try the query a second time with something approaching proper grammar.

Must be a fake ID.

“No, that would be an alias– a fake ID would be a document with ‘Sarah”s picture on it and a different name.”

Also, are the police really that incurious? Having someone’s disappearance attested by witnesses, but all of their physical records burnt, indicates that something intensely fishy is going on.

Hey!”

… Fine, fine, something intensely strange is going on. Happy?

“Much better.”

Case File

*Missing*

Name: Ron Smith

Date of Birth: 7/9/1956

Age at time of reported missing: 45

Date of report: 9/6/2000

Case Notes:

He was seen by his wife on the computer, around the time of 7:30 PM. She retired to bed.

His wife went to bed at 7:30 in the evening?

His son reports seeing him wander out of the house at around 9:30 PM,

“So apparently this report includes the last time the victim was seen… and the second-to-last time he was seen. Because why the glub not?”

seeming to be “completely out of it, not himself.”

And his son’s response to Daddy’s near-zombified state was… to just let him amble outside at night without calling anyone.

Nice.

Reports of him having an affair were found.

“Hey, why haven’t we seen this ‘forced scream’ that’s supposed to be the curse’s big calling card? Both the flat-faces it ‘killed’ just sort of… disappeared.”

Actually, without that calling card I’m really not at all sure how a conspiracy nut tracking the Deletion Scream would ever come across these reports. Did he somehow gain access to and search through files on every single murder and disappearance in maybe-Britain looking for people who were last seen on their computers?

Actually actually, why were they all on their computers just before they disappeared? I thought the whole point of this thing was that there was a time-delay between when they saw the image and when they died!”

Case File

*Murdered*

Name: Emily Parker

Date of Birth: 10/11/1970

Age at time of the murder: 29

Date of report: 12/6/2000

Autopsy Report:

Found lying on her bed, seemed to have been poisoned. Facial expression, makes her look like she was trying to scream. Blisters covered her chest and arms. Looks like she was fighting whoever was trying to poison her, shows bruises that can be linked to fighting on her wrists and the edges of her fingers. Weird markings covering her forehead.

Weird markings? Weird?

Can’t an official coroner’s report be any more specific?

Because if you’re not, I’m just going to assume she had a penis drawn on her forehead.

Conclusion: she was poisoned by an unknown poison- maybe arsenic.

Except probably not, since that’s pretty easy to find in a toxicological screening.

“That, and arsenic poisoning is pretty slow-acting and not the sort of thing an attacker would use to get rid of someone in the middle of a fistfight.”

Case File

*Accidental Death*

Name: John Tabbin

Date of Birth: 7/3/1954

Age at time of the reported accident: 59

Date of report: 17/6/2000

Autopsy and Police Findings:

Found to have been eating spam. Wife said he was allergic.

Well, that explains that.

Facial expression shows he was trying to scream. Weird markings found on his forehead.

Again with the weird markings!

If those show up every time there’s a scream, why aren’t they mentioned on the information site along with it?”

Conclusion: He had allergic reaction from eating the food substance spam.

Looks like the awful powers of THE DELETION SCREAM accidentally deleted a , too.

“Also, ‘the food substance spam’?”

Yeah, gonna have to take issue with the ‘food’ part, there. Possibly the ‘substance’ part as well.

Case File

*Accidental Death*

Name: Fredrick George

frederick-george

Date of Birth: 9/1/1980

Age at time of the reported accident: 20

Date of report: 18/6/2000

Autopsy and Police Findings:

Found to show signs of extreme hypothermia. His body was found frozen and the expression of his face shows that he was trying to scream. Weird markings found on his forehead.

“Is there a point to any of these reports? Like, at all?”

It’s like a creepypasta that’s been boiled down to its most essential elements- no plot, characters, description, or setting, just “hi heres this cursed item i made this is what it does it killed this person and this person and this person and this person and this person plz make it the next slenderman kthnxbye”.

Known to be eco-friendly and hated gas and electrical heaters.

And why do these all end on some kind of dumbass ‘fact’ related to the person who died? Are these the government’s best guess at what happened to the victims? Because a lot of them actually explain glub all.”

That, or they’re supposed to indicate that the image somehow orchestrates pre-existing circumstances to cause its victims’ deaths instead of directly killing them. Which raises all sorts of questions about how it could affect events not causally related to its own existence, and either predict the future or make those changes retroactively.

Conclusion: Death from Hypothermia

In probably-Britain.

In June.

Transcript

Yeah, random or what?

“Yeah, pretty much.”

What are you nodding for? Wait… what are you doing. Oh my God, no, no, no. Why do you have those wires? You said this was a police interview!

“Wait, we have wires? And said the story was a police interview at some point?”

Yeah, apparently all of those times when we thought the author was talking directly to the readers… that was actually supposed to be the POV character talking to the people he was telling the story to in-universe. Who we obviously knew were there because of that part where nothing at all in the story alluded to their presence.

You know, I could just give this story the standard “don’t write in the goddamn Formless Void all the goddamn time” admonishment and call it a day. But the thing is, I’m actually very familiar with this type of nothing-but-dialogue writing, and have used it myself before. It started with the same tabletop universe that Nina is from- there, I GM’d a series of one-shots where the players would run a team of UNITY agents investigating a specific paranormal occurrence, and since the agents were always different each time, I’d start the mission on the car/chopper ride out to their destination. Having a few in-universe hours (around five to ten minutes from the table perspective) where they couldn’t wander off or get into firefights helped give the players a chance to both get into their own characters and develop a dynamic with the others. It worked really well, so when I started work on Palaven’s Dogs I decided to include the narrower, literary version (literally just quoted speech in a scene divider all by itself) in a lot of the Interlogues. So I thought I’d share my experiences with it here, then compare and contrast with the pasta.

This doesn’t have to do with the pasta itself so feel free to skip over the indented section, but people who write in addition to reading here may find it interesting:

  1. The absolute maximum number of characters you can have in one of these things in     plaintext is two. That way, a line break between two sections of quoted dialogue signifies that the character who was previously silent is now the one who is speaking, and all throughout the process they just switch back and forth. The reader can be informed of who starts the Pong match by that character’s distinctive voice, or failing that by just having the first speaker address the non-speaker by name to start the conversation. This can result in either text walls or ambiguous non-switching paragraph breaks if one character talks too long without the other getting a chance to, so I’d advise against infodumps or long soliloquies using this method.You can also be Andrew Hussie and use the formatting of the text to indicate who is currently talking, but you still have to establish which format goes with which character through names or voices and the whole thing can become a mess extremely rapidly if there are more than four or five characters to keep track of. (By the way, if you do decide to do this, I recommend against using combinations of formats to denote different characters- i.e. bold and underlined being different from bold or underlined. Doing combinations increases the number of characters you can represent with a given number of supported formats from n to 2n, but it also makes it hard to represent emphasis and can make it look like the combination characters are really just the original characters speaking in unison once the reader learns to parse it automatically.)
  1. By doing this sort of writing, you are deciding up-front that there is nothing worth mentioning regarding the setting or even the condition of the characters involved. This can be a good thing as it removes distractions from their dialogue, but also removes a lot of channels by which you can communicate information to the audience. PD tries to work around this about as much as I would consider feasible- the setting is implied to be the Normandy captain’s quarters by having the speakers be Garrus and Shepard discussing important command decisions and using the Normandy theme music from the games as the music link at the start of the scenes, but I always write assuming that the scenes could be taking place in nearly any area where the two of them are alone. Typically, you won’t be writing dialogue that has such a strongly-associated and familiar setting, and won’t be able to cue the readers into what the setting is through secondary channels, so you should assume nothing about the setting and consequently have nothing about where the conversation took place turn out to be relevant.
  1. Similarly, you can throw out any concept of action right at the start. Don’t have the characters do anything of consequence, or for that matter go anywhere of consequence. Either they won’t talk about it (in which case the reader has no idea what just happened), or they will talk about it and you’ll have the absolute worst kind of telling-and-not-showing: “Wow, did you see that thing?! Wasn’t it amazing? Especially that one really important part!”
  1. Make sure that the characters talking are ones who have been introduced properly in the normal narrative. Otherwise, it’s impossible to properly identify them. They don’t have to be important, we just have to have some idea of who they are and what they look like.
  1. Keep at the very least a scene divider between the all-dialogue sections and the regular     sections, preferably a full chapter break or some other major sectional element- otherwise, it just looks like the setting mysteriously phased out of existence or suddenly reappeared.
  1. It’s OK to violate any of these rules sometimes- not because you’re a lazy writer, but to build suspense, mystery, tension, or even comedic effect. I see #4 broken most commonly and #1 very rarely, simply because messing with character attribution just makes the whole thing extremely confusing, but you can actually get away with an awful lot provided that you have a reason. It’s important to know what you’re removing and how that will affect the story, though. Think of it like redacting a document- you’re removing information, but you’re also making it very obvious that information was removed, and implying that what was removed was important. If you’re implying something, be sure to leave enough clues, and also ask why you can’t just come right out and say if you’re hiding a specific fact that will become important later on, ask yourself if there’s a simpler way to write around it. This sort of deliberate obfuscation can become a very cheap way of building tension if it’s overused, or just be too obtuse for the reader to figure out what’s supposed to be going on in the story.

“Like here, where the pasta somehow takes every single rule the Admiral laid out and breaks every glubbing one.

We’ve got action going on- what kind we don’t know- between somebody who may or may not be that ‘Richard Pagen’ human from the top and somebody- or several somebodies, we still have no glubbing idea– in… I guess a room somewhere? No way to confirm that it isn’t outside, after all. And all of this is kept in nice little scene dividers with their own headers, only the headers don’t tell us anything and the whole thing is a chopped-up-mess of documents, dialogue, and transcripts all interleaved with each other in basically the same formatting.

It’s not a story, it’s just one giant literary clusterglub.”

[Sounds of muffled screams].

[End of tape].

“Oh, and script-format tags, too. Since I guess the writing wasn’t bare-bones enough already.”

Transcript of a Voicemail Message

Date Received: 9/2/2002

Time: 7:45 AM

Receiver: Richard Pagen

Caller: Ian Roder

Hey, I’ll explain everything. You should get it by now…if not then I’ll explain.

“All your explanation does is make it harder for us to ‘get it’.”

All five case files, are showing victims of the so called “Deletion Screams”. Believe me, I was a skeptic at first, but when I saw the clues, I went and put two and two together. I know who the culprit is, its name as well.

Why is the name of the file important? I know names are a Thing in magic, but…”

Oh and by the way, we never do learn what the name actually is, so we never actually see what was so important about it.

But first, I will tell you what I know.

Well, here it is… the section that links the deaths of the victims to their computer problems, the answer sheet to our little standardized test of fail. If you want to take a guess at what the causes are yourself down in the comments, this is your chance to do it!

Here’s my answers from the first time I read this- due to the extreme genericness of all the names in this thing, I just gave the victims descriptors based on what they died of and kept them in the same order as their files appeared:

  • No-Documents Girl: I was initially just going to say “memory loss”, but I think     “identity theft” or “losing your personal data” makes more sense even if it’s clunkier.
  • Wandering Guy: The story put so much emphasis on the “not like himself” part I think this is a better candidate for “identity theft”. Even though that doesn’t really make a lot of sense other than that line because everybody could still recognize him as him, and given the symptoms I’d say ‘memory loss’ (i.e. suddenly developing a dementia-like condition)     is a better fit.
  • Poisoned Lady: I… I got nothing. There’s a family of network-security exploits occasionally called “poisoning attacks” that involve introducing malicious or damaging content into a legitimate, helpful system (DNS poisoning, search engine poisoning, list poisoning, etc.), but they aren’t really applicable to desktop users and I highly doubt the author knew about them.
  • Spam Guy: Spam. Duh.
  • Hypothermia Guy: “Your computer will freeze”. I get the distinct feeling that whatever convoluted process the author was using to come up with these ran out of steam at the poisoning one.

“Now let’s see what the real answers are:”

Sarah was the first victim, right? Mysteriously disappeared, seemed like she was deleted… well, that is was happened. She was the first one to receive the image and she deleted it. Idiot, her life hanged in the balance.

“Her life hanged in the balance?”

You know, in slightly more technical circles a program doing the spinny-cursor-thing indefinitely or freezing outright is often called “hanging the machine”. Considering how blatantly obvious some of the other deaths in this thing are, I’m surprised that “hanging the computer equals victim hanging with an actual noose” hasn’t shown up yet- or, for that matter, the even more glaringly obvious “computer will crash, so victim dies in a car crash”.

Ron got the image next, and most certainly had the pop up saying, “This image, if not deleted, will cause your computer files to be wiped clean.” Get it, wiped clean?

“Umm… not really?”

I mean, it’s sort of the same idea as my ‘data loss’ proposal, it’s just that the phrasing is really, really awkward.

They found no evidence of her existence, because, well, she was wiped from the face of the earth.

“That makes it sound like somebody dropped a glubbing nuke on her, not that she got ‘disappeared’.”

When Emily got the image, Ron was a dead man, she obviously deleted the image, as I am sure the reason being, you guessed it a pop up, saying, “This image, if not deleted, will cause a hacker to hack your computer.”

Wait… what?

Ron seemed to be “completely out of it,” well of course! His mind was hacked; he had no control of himself.

His mind… had been hacked.

I don’t even know where to begin with this one.

Not only is it completely unrelated to the actual circumstances of the guy’s death (I for one imagine a D-Scream message warning about being hacked would cause somebody to come after you with a machete, but whatever), but it makes no sense in and of itself. What does ‘his mind had been hacked’ even mean? Who was supposed to have been doing the ‘hacking’?

… And under normal circumstances, how would a piece of software cause a hacker to take interest in your computer to begin with?! Would it blackmail them? Threaten their family?

Poor guy must have been forced to drown himself.

Wait, he drowned himself? When did this happen?

“*reads back over the ‘fic*

Just now, I guess.”

Emily obviously died from a virus, not poisoning.

Oh, obviously.”

Even though an autopsy would test for both and couldn’t really mix them up…

And a virus wouldn’t leave the clear signs of a struggle that were listed in the report…”

And viruses really don’t work that fast- seriously, it’s relatively rare for a disease to show symptoms within the few days it took her to die after viewing the image, much less actually become terminal…

“And we already did the whole virus-equals-computer-virus bit as an example- seriously, couldn’t this story use one of the examples the Admiral suggested instead of glubbing repeating itself?”

And when it came to Fredrick, deleting the image and ending poor John’s life, by making him eat spam. Get it, spam?

“YES! WE GET IT ALREADY!”

IT’S REALLY NOT THAT COMPLICATED!

God, this thing has humour.

No, it really glubbing doesn’t.”

And, yeah, who killed Fredrick? Well, it was me. I received the image and deleted it, ending the chain of events. You see, the more you research it, the more likely it’s going to come to you and the image came to me.

“Wait a minute. You were researching it. Meaning you knew what it did. And you deleted it anyway?”

Mine said the computer would freeze and then Fredrick dies of hypothermia.

“Not much else to say here, really.”

Other than that Ian is an idiot, of course.

God, the guilt. Oh, yeah his name. I forgot about that. Well, its name is-

Who’s there?

Oh god, not this again…

Oh my God… no… No… No!

[Sounds of screaming].

[Sounds of someone being dragged across the floor].

Hear my vengeance… Ian.

“Ian wants… himself to hear his vengeance?”

Does part of his vengeance require Snap to be possessed by Snap?

[Sounds of a hammering].

[Sounds of a high-pitched noise].

[End of Voicemail].

Case File

*Murdered*

Name: Ian Roder

Date of Birth: 10/12/1980

Age at time of the murder: 22

Date of report: 9/2/2002

Autopsy Report:

Found to have been ripped apart by some kind of animal. His face is the only thing left intact, shows he was trying to scream. Weird markings on his forehead. Was hoisted up by nails. Bleeding from ears, shows he was subjected to a high-pitched noise. Sound may be the cause of the damage to the body.

“Yeah, a sound was totally what carved markings into his forehead and nailed him to the glubbing WALL!

At least… I assume there’s a wall… we still don’t have a motherglubbing clue where any of this is happening other than ‘maybe in Great Britain somewhere’…”

I also have to wonder what computer problem results in dismemberment and crucifixion

“… And didn’t it just say that he’d been ripped apart by animals, too?”

Conclusion: Death by a weak blast of infrasound.

Infrasound, by the way, refers to very low frequency sound, not very high. It has a lot of occult and conspiracy mythos surrounding it, none of which is used by the pasta, and once again I’m just completely baffled by how it’s supposed to relate to computer problems.

“Let’s just push on.”

News Report:

The body of Richard Pagen was found in the nearby river this afternoon, suspected murder by strangulation. His face expression shows he was trying to scream. Weird markings on his forehead.

So… was one of the ‘wires’ supposed to be a garrote?”

Or did he get a popup message telling him that if he didn’t delete an image his computer would get strangled?

“This is dumb.”

Government Transcript:

Wait, what kind of transcript?

“A government one!”

Yeah, but I mean what agency? What project?

“The government!”

All loose threads tied up, the experiments can’t be found out.

Yeah, because apparently this whole ‘deletion scream’ thing is supposed to have been some kind of secret government experiment… or something.

“Which, really… makes no sense whatsoever. What, did some UNITY general need to pad out her operations budget by creating pointless cursed items just to track them down again?”

Delete all websites that show information about The Deletion Scream.

Sounds like a good idea. Let’s start with Creepypasta Wiki!

This, by the way, is the comments page. I’d just link to it, but since this story probably won’t be around much longer it’ll be gone sooner or later:”

comments

We’ve got five reviews (four 10/10s and one 9.9/10), somebody making a video out of this idiocy, some generally positive comments that don’t give ratings, and somebody telling us how they thought ‘eating Spam’ read ‘eating sperm‘.

*SNERK*”

*sigh*

The only criticism given is someone claiming the author repeated the word ‘anyway’, which apparently got fixed before we found the story.

Because that‘s its most glaring flaw- two ‘anyway’s where there should be one.”

I was going to do another pasta today, but in between the writer’s workshop and just the general levels of dumbness in it it’s already at 17 pages, and they’re pretty dense. So I think we’re about done.

I’ve still got one question, though.”

Hmm?

Will we hear a scream when LOLSKELETONS deletes the story?”

Probably. But all the CPW authors do that anyway.

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35 Comments on “1571: The Deletion Scream – Creepypasta One Shot”

  1. Jon Arbuckle says:

    “His mind… had been hacked.”

    True horror.

  2. Jon Arbuckle says:

    My answers for the quiz lined up more with your’s than the author’s except for Poison Girl, who I thought was overheating. A bit silly given they talked about poison but I associated blisters with burns rather than poison or viruses.

  3. Jon Arbuckle says:

    “His face is the only thing left intact, shows he was trying to scream.”

    Pretty sure I’d scream too if I were being torn apart by wild animals, cursed picture or not.

  4. Jon Arbuckle says:

    I found the mastermind behind the Deletion Scream!

  5. BatJamags says:

    And everything will be peachy.

    Fic… you realize I can’t take any story that uses “peachy” unironically seriously, right?

  6. BatJamags says:

    Had he discovered something that could ruin the government’s reputation?

    What country do you live in?

  7. BatJamags says:

    http://www.re456&638*0%.co.gov.uk.org.com

    Wanna add a couple more domains onto that? I don’t think you’ve got a “.net” on there yet.

  8. BatJamags says:

    For example, if one person gets the image and then deletes it their soul is imprinted on said image, they will stay alive as long as the image is not deleted. However, when the image appears on someone else’s computer screen and they delete it, the original person who received the image will die

    Before you die, you see… like, Mount Rushmore or some shit.

    Not quite as intimidating as “the Ring,” honestly.

  9. BatJamags says:

    I found things weird about it; one was the name of the website. Got to be some conspiracy nut site, you know them types all about the secrecy, like the government supposedly.

    What the hell are you trying to say?!

  10. BatJamags says:

    Alright, I’ll try my hand at the guess-the-computer-problem-game.

    All photos of her seemed to have been burnt and all attempts of pulling up any files on her have proven so far fruitless.

    Burnt… Uh, hm. A firewall? I mean, it’s not a computer problem, but it’s tangentially burning-related.

    seeming to be “completely out of it, not himself.”

    Uh… Getting… hacked? Yeah, I’m not very good with computers.

    Conclusion: she was poisoned by an unknown poison- maybe arsenic.

    Computer… poison?

    Conclusion: He had allergic reaction from eating the food substance spam.

    Aha! A computer allergy!

    Found to show signs of extreme hypothermia.

    And this one was killed by a computer low temperature!

    I am amazing with computers.

    • BatJamags says:

      1: FAIL
      2: Holy shit, I got this one right?
      3: FAIL
      4: Come to think of it, I probably should’ve figured this one out. EPIC FAIL.
      5: Yeah, I’m just going to give this one a FAIL.

      So one out of five isn’t bad, right?

  11. "Lyle" says:

    Found lying on her bed, seemed to have been poisoned. Facial expression, makes her look like she was trying to scream. Blisters covered her chest and arms. Looks like she was fighting whoever was trying to poison her, shows bruises that can be linked to fighting on her wrists and the edges of her fingers. Weird markings covering her forehead.

    Conclusion: she was poisoned by an unknown poison- maybe arsenic.

    maybe arsenic

    *removes glasses and pinches the bridge of her nose before wheeling out the chalkboard*

    Apart from the fact that the police decided not to have the coroner run a toxicology report, none of those symptoms even remotely line up with arsenic poisoning.

    Upon ingesting arsenic, you can expect to experience:

    drowsiness
    headaches
    confusion
    terrible diarrhea

    Kind of similar to ingesting some bad fish.

    If you have severe arsenic poisoning, you can expect to experience some or all of the following:

    metallic taste in the mouth
    mouth produces excess saliva
    problems swallowing
    blood in the urine
    cramping muscles
    loss of hair
    stomach cramps
    convulsions
    excessive sweating
    breath smells like garlic
    vomiting
    diarrhea

    What does all that look like? Allergic reactions and the stomach flu, mainly. Which is why arsenic has been the poisoner’s choice for a very long time. The symptoms start mild. When poisoning someone with arsenic, you don’t OD them; you slowly pick away at them until their bodies shut down. It’s an incredibly slow killer, especially if you don’t want your victim to suspect what’s going on. You don’t get boils and bruises. You crap your pants and sweat a lot, and smell like you need to lay off the Italian food.

  12. Umm, yeah? A lot of people in AI research are, actually.

    (Same here. Y’know, in case you guys haven’t figured it out yet. -agig, the author)

  13. “This is dumb.”

    Cain: And you were just now figuring this out?

  14. AdmiralSakai says:

    Since this is one of the few pastas we’ve reviewed that’s still ‘live’ and circulating on CPW, I went ahead and reviewed it.

    Let’s see how long the review (and/or the pasta itself) survive.

  15. Andiliteman says:

    “I realize that I’m being kind of nitpicky here, but… if you’re going to write a pasta about computers, it’s probably a good idea to know something about computers.”

    Honestly, I’ve been saying this since we read Sonic.exe.

  16. Andiliteman says:

    “… I’m surprised that “hanging the computer equals victim hanging with an actual noose” hasn’t shown up yet- or, for that matter, the even more glaringly obvious “computer will crash, so victim dies in a car crash”.
    DEATH BY COMPUTER PUN!? COME ON!


    (Let’s hope this works, I’ve never done images here before)

    • Andiliteman says:

      Just finished this up. This was the dumbest pasta I have ever read. Who the FRICK thought a bunch of stupid computer puns was a good idea? I don’t even…
      UGH.

  17. TacoMagic says:

    And they’ve also given the program some stupid codename like “Operation Cosmic Taint”.

    That feels like it should be a Katamari Damacy reference.

  18. TacoMagic says:

    Without even looking at the deaths, my guesses are:

    Email constipation
    Leaky internet pipes
    Haunted processor
    Computer is going through puberty
    Monitor is actually a kitten

    What did I win!?


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