1557: Teen titians: The weirdest foe – Chapter 4

Title: Teen titians: The weirdest foe
Author: Yami Joeys Dog
Media: TV
Topic: Teen Titans
Genre: “Humor”
URL: Chapter 4
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

—WARNING—

—FIC CONTAINS EXPOSED LADY-BITS—

 

Hello, dear Patrons, and welcome to everyone’s favorite part of a fic – the last chapter!

And there shall be much rejoicing – after I get through this chapter. I had some whiskey barrels brought up from my secret stash, but they seem to have mysteriously gone missing right after I locked down the Riffing Chamber. I’ll have to wait until the chapter’s over to find out where they went, but I have a pretty good idea where to start.

What happened last time? KimBulky made a very brief appearance and managed to trigger the release of  both Starfire and Raven’s bladders, causing them to abandon their team mid-fight. Instead of outright killing the other Titans and making things easier for her, KimBulky indulged in some light taunting before flitting off to whatever part of the Formless Void she calls home. Their secret exposed to their teammates, the girls undergo some bullshit tests in Robin’s forensics lab that yield no results. Robin then produces a supply of diapers and proceeds to diaper both girls before forcing them to go out into the tower’s main lounge wearing nothing but their skimpy nightclothes and the diapers as punishment for not telling anyone about their sudden and mysterious incontinence.

Condensing it down into one paragraph just serves to highlight how whack-ass the premise of this fic really is.

Gary flies in on a space ship and jumps out of it as it heads back towards the moon.

Since there’s no mention of the ship landing on Earth, I assume it did a near-Earth fly-by to slingshot around, and then ejected Gary into the upper atmosphere.

Gary just became a shooting star. This pleases me.

Gary: DAMN THAT WAS FUN!

I’m sure it was for the few fractions of a second that elapsed before you turned into incandescent plasma.

Titians: -_-() Gary: Anywho, I know it’s been awhile since I’ve written a chapter but I’ve been busy with wrestling and schoolwork.

[insert obligatory lecture regarding self-enforced posting schedules here]

Let me tell you, if someone ever tells you that all of the moves in pro-wrestling don’t hurt, send them my
way.

I’m assuming he means the full-contact Greco-Roman style wrestling taught in most American high schools and not the performance art known as “pro wrestling”, but either one is dangerous. High school wrestling ranks right up there with football and cheerleading in terms of number of serious injuries sustained by participants, and people have become seriously injured or even died trying to copy the moves they’ve seen pro wrestlers perform.

Starfire: If you are so busy maybe you can stop the story while me and Raven have a little pride left.

Are we reading the same fic? Because I think you’ve already passed that point.

Gary grins and shakes head: Na, the story shall go on.

And so shall the drinking. Much, much drinking. Just as soon as I track down a certain free trader with sticky fingers and no concept of personal boundaries.

Beast boy, you do it so well, do the disclaimer! Beast boy: Do it twice and you’re marked for life.

Two out of only three previous chapters. That does make it seem like you’re the go-to guy for pointless disclaimers.

Gary does not own the Teen Titians or any thing like that. Robin, Cyborg, Raven and Starfire: Thank god!

Praise be and hallelujah!

Gary: HEY! Beast boy: please don’t sue him. on with the story!

Ugh. These “you can’t sue me because I have a disclaimer” types of disclaimers make me wish I did own the intellectual property in question so that I would be able to sue the person just to prove I could.

Chapter 4.

Finally!

 Kim sat in her house, wondering what had gone on.

Join the club, we’ve got jackets.

“That was weird, Only Raven should of wet herself, I put the chemical in her food, not Starfire’s.”

And there’s no way that two people who share the same living space and cooking areas would ever voluntarily share food? If your entire plan hinged on poisoning just one person’s food, why didn’t you poison Beast Boy’s meal? He’s the only vegetarian in the group so his food would be the least likely to be shared with the others.

While Kim pondered this fact, Robin lead the two diapered girls out into the living room where Beast boy and Cyborg were trying very hard not to laugh.

The total lack of transitions makes it sound like KimBulky’s hideout is located in the tower. I would hope that their security wasn’t quite that bad.

One really couldn’t blame them, Raven’s purple hair hung freely running down the back of her white T-shirt.

…How hilarious?

Her diaper was a thick one that caused her to spread her legs out a little more and she waddled when she walked.

Bwa?

I don’t have any first-hand knowledge regarding adult incontinence garments, but I am a menstruating woman who has had to resort to wearing thick pads on occasion. Nothing I’ve ever used, no matter how cumbersome it felt, has ever impeded my movement in that manner. It would take a significant amount of padding, probably several inches, in order to produce this effect. Raven would have to wrap the equivalent of a down jacket around her lady garden.

Starfire also waddled but it wasn’t as noticeable thru her night grown.

It doesn’t work that way. If anything, a more voluminous garment would make the waddling more noticeable since the flapping cloth would exaggerate her movements.

However her diaper was easy to spot and both girls were so red in the face that they looked ready to blow.

I think these incontinence garments were designed to be as visible as possible for maximum embarrassment rather than to serve a useful purpose, because there’s really no reason for a functionally toilet-trained adult to need something that bulky. Adult incontinence garments are meant to be used for the occasional leakage or to contain sudden accidents, not serve as wearable toilets.

 “So *snicker*

:THWACK!:

No onomatopoeia in the dialogue!

will you two lovely ladies like to join us for a movie?” Cyborg said looking ready to burst out laughing at any point.

Dude, your nethers are made of poly-composites and various metal alloys; I don’t think you’re in a position to throw stones.

“Yea, we were going to watch Dare Devil but I’m sure we could find a copy of the little mermaid for you guys.” Beast boy says as both him and Cyborg break out laughing and roll on the floor.

What part of that was meant to be funny or is in any way relevant to their situation? If you were going to suggest a movie that would make fun of their current predicament, I would have gone with Flushed Away or Baby’s Day Out.

Starfire whimpered, her bottom lip trembling and Raven looked pissed

Gods, I hope not.

and was about to blast them when an angry looking Robin stepped in front of her. “What the hell is wrong with you two?” he demanded in that low voice he saved for when he was truly pissed off but didn’t want to yell yet.

Please stop using that word.

I know Robin said he would talk to Cyborg and Beast Boy so that they wouldn’t make fun of the girls, but I don’t think this is the best way to go about it.

“Huh?” Beast boy and Cyborg said together. “They have a medical condition that means they have to wear diapers for awhile and you make jokes about it!?

Joke, singular. And it wasn’t even a remotely funny joke.

And dude, this particular situation is all your fault. You’re the one forcing them to be in the room. I think you just enjoy shaming people and this happens to be a two-fer; Raven and Starfire for wearing diapers, and Cyborg and Beast Boy for making fun of the girls.

Would you poke fun at some one with aids? Or cancer? Or some one with the flu or a fever?” Robin said on the verge of shouting.

Calm the hell down; it was a very, very minor joke. I think you lost whatever moral high ground you might have still had when you equated incontinence with AIDS and cancer. Not really sure why you felt the need to tack on something relatively minor like “a fever” after leading with your big guns, though.

“No.” Beast boy said looking down as Cyborg did the same thing.

Any minute now a stern-faced woman in a wimple is going to start ringing a bell and crying out “Shame!”

“Then don’t tease them or anything. They’re still Raven and Starfire, and next time you make fun of them like that me and them will stick you guys in diapers and see how you like it!”

What’s next, Dad? Threaten to make them wear the Get-Along Shirt?

They both slowly nodded their heads and Starfire smiled and hugged Robin and gave him a kiss on the cheek, which caused him to blush and almost melt.

Sudden character change is sudden. Robin’s going to give himself emotional whiplash.

Raven smiled and said thanks to him as the five of sat down on the couch and popped the movie in.

Which one? There were two movies mentioned.

It was a good movie, or so thought Starfire.

They must be watching The Little Mermaid then, because that doesn’t describe Daredevil at all.

She was lying against Robin, his arms draped around her as he spent half the time looking at her and smiling.

This is the same Robin who is forcing them to be in the room for a specific length of time, right? Why is she cuddling with him? She should be mad at him for making her be there!

Raven, Beast boy and Cyborg where sitting by themselves, all enjoying the movie.

That seems unlikely. Raven doesn’t enjoy anything.

What Raven wasn’t enjoying however was the feeling that filled her every time she saw those two looking on at each other.

Who, Beast Boy and Cyborg? That’s not one of my OTPs, but whatever floats your boat.

Raven knew she felt that one of them should be with her, and if it was Robin she could accept that.

Now I’m really confused. Is Raven trying to decide which of the others she’s going to have romantic feelings for? Because that’s really not how it works. This isn’t like picking out a new sofa; if you already feel that Robin is “acceptable”, then he’s probably the one you have feelings for. Or whatever passes for feelings in this whack-ass fic.

However, she couldn’t decide who it was that she felt was hers and that fact was bugging her to the point she didn’t notice when she wet her diaper.

:headdesk:

I know the author has either forgotten or done away with the whole business of intense abdominal pains presaging an event, but why is this still happening? It’s been at least a full day since KimBulky dosed the girls, so it should be out of their systems by now. Hell, neither one of them even got a full dose! Raven made Starfire eat one of the doctored hot dogs, so they each received only a small portion of the chemical.

Beast boy had actually been stealing looks at Raven all night and hoped that she might look at him but felt himself get sadder as all she wanted to do was stare at Robin it seemed.

Hey, she could be staring at Starfire for all you know. The two are cuddling together and you did find Raven and Starfire in bed together just that morning.

“It’s not fair! Had come Robin has like nine thousand followers willing to fuck his brains out and I have none?” he thought to himself.

Are we thinking about the same Robin? Because the animated version in Teen Titans looks like this;

There are some man-candy versions of the character out there, especially when he becomes Nightwing (and Agent 37 is pretty yummy), but this one still looks like a scrawny kid.

Beast boy had noticed that the blue lines on the front of the diaper turned to green and tapped Raven on the shoulder and whispered into her ear. “Raven, don’t make a big deal out of it but you wet your diaper.” Raven’s eyes widen and she quickly glanced down and blushed.

What? Why do the diapers have color-changing indicators? I know some brands of baby diapers do, but that’s because babies can’t articulate their needs very well. I don’t think a product designed for an adult would have that particular feature; for one thing, adults rarely walk around in nothing but a diaper so any visual indicator would be hidden by clothing.

Standing up from the couch she waddled over to Starfire and whispered in her ear that she needed a change.

Because that’s not at all an awkward situation.

Starfire however looked mad. “Go back and sit down, you can wait for the movie to be over!” She hissed into Raven’s ear.

…It’s a recorded movie; just hit pause. Besides, every other time one of you has urinated, the other one went at the same time. If Raven’s diaper is wet then Starfire’s probably is, too.

Looking defeated and not wanting to cause a scene Raven sat down.

:headdesk:

She’s wearing a diaper with some sort of extremely visual indicator that can be seen across the room so that everyone knows what just happened – if anyone’s making a scene, it’s Starfire for refusing to help Raven.

She had began to notice the warm wet feeling

It’s about time!

and was shocked to find it was slightly arousing her

…I can’t even.

and in disgust she held her hand close to her face, and in her corner of the couch bit down onto it till the pain completely turned her off.

And she doesn’t think anyone is going to notice this very, very strange behaviour?

Beast boy could some what guess at what was going on

I’m glad someone does, because I have no idea what’s going on here.

and taking a breath in leaned over towards Raven. “If you need someone to change, I’ll do it.” He whispered shakily.

Huh.

I had assumed Robin’s assertion that only he or one of the girls could change a diaper was a set-up for some sexy-fun-times between Robin and Starfire, especially after they started cuddling on the couch, or possibly Robin and Raven given that she finds him “acceptable”, but now I have to revise my assumption.

He backed away after wards red in the face and expecting a slap while Raven looked shocked.

Which is understandable; offering to change a friend’s diaper is not a normal occurrence.

She thought about it and reliseing that there was still a good amount of time left in the movie

And the pause button apparently fell off their remote.

and that there was no guarantee that Starfire or Robin were going to get up after that she but her lip and swallowed her pride once again.

That would be unnecessarily cruel of them, especially since Starfire (and presumably Robin, who is sitting with Starfire) already knows about Raven’s distress.

She held her hand out to Beast boy, to ashamed to even say after thing and her grabbed it and lead her towards her room while Starfire whispered something into Robin’s ears which cause him to go wide eyed in surprise while Cyborg was too busy watching Dare devil try to stop bulls eye.

Isn’t Robin going to question Raven about where she’s going? He was the one who demanded that she remain in the lounge until curfew and also placed restrictions of who could change her diaper.

Once inside of her room Beast boy got Raven to lay down on her bed and he took out wipes, powder and a new diaper.

:blinks:

He took out what? I don’t remember Robin doing any of that, and it probably isn’t necessary; Raven is a functional adult and fully capable of cleaning herself.

Raven looked beet red again and looked ready to cry. He stoked a hand down her face ad run it thru her hair before looking her in the eyes.

Well, thanks for making an awkward situation even worse.

“Don’t cry, as Robin said, this isn’t something that you can help. And don’t feel ashamed that I’m changing you, I already knew of your condition, and I promise not to make fun of you.” Beast boy said, sounding serious.

Aren’t you the same guy who was laughing at her and suggesting that you watch The Little Mermaid?

Raven stared at him, as if trying to figer something out. “Why are you so nice now when before you were making fun of me?” Raven asked.

That’s an excellent question! Let’s see what he says.

“I was acting like a dick

No, that was Robin. You were acting like a Garfield.

before cause it was the only way I knew to get your attion.

Bwa?

:scrolls up and re-reads fic:

It doesn’t look like you were trying to get her attention, it looks like you were trying to make Cyborg laugh.

In all truth, I actually..” Beast boy paused and blushed. Raven eyes widen as she slowly guessed what he was trying to say. “You have a crush on me!?” She said looking shocked.

Probably because this isn’t really a good time to have this particular conversation.

No one ever really noticed her when compared to Starfire and most boys found her to dark and doomy.

Don’t forget cold and emotionally detached, because of that whole “powers controlled by emotions” thing you have going on.

But this 15-year one green skinned shape shifter did. Beast boy merely nodded his head.

Then he should have kept his fat mouth shut.

Raven signed and looked at him. “You have a crush on me and you expect me to trust you to look between my legs?” Beast boy looked crushed.

And that right there is why Beast Boy shouldn’t have said anything about his crush. He saw Raven eye-humping Robin a few minutes ago, so he knows she probably doesn’t like him in that way.

It wasn’t the fact that she didn’t trust him to change her; the tone in her voice plus that told him that she was utterly disgusted with him.

And for good reason. She was already uncomfortable with the situation, but finding out he has a crush on her would just make things so much more awkward.

“She must think it’s a riot. The little green kid has a crush on her and she’s too good for me. Damn it I knew I didn’t have a chance why did I tell her!” He thought to himself.

I think it’s less about the fact that you have a crush on her and more about the fact that you might have taken advantage of her condition to take a peek into her goody basket.

Raven, for her part in this wasn’t disgusted by the crush but she wasn’t sure about trusting a person who lusts for her around her privates. That was only logic right?

It’s understandable, but considering that the privates in question are currently marinating in your own bodily fluids I think you’re overestimating their desirability.

But the thing was that that feeling she had had when watching Robin and Starfire, of wanting one of them, she was getting a feeling like that for Beast boy.

Nandatte?

She found Robin “acceptable” only a few minutes ago, but now that she knows that Beast Boy has a crush on her she’s decided to settle for him? I thought he disgusted her?

“If you promise not to try anything, then you may change me.” Raven said with a forced smile.

Why? Why are you going through with this? Just go sit in the bathtub until the movie is over, I won’t judge you too harshly.

Beast boy looked at her and looked totally happy.

:headdesk:

That should make Raven change her mind, but it probably won’t.

Once again, he didn’t care that he got to see her goods; it was the fact that she wasn’t telling him to get lost and trusted him!

Yeah; just keep telling yourself that, chief.

“You bet ya!” Beast boy slowly undid Raven’s diaper and peeled it back and tired not to stare but it was the first thing he had seen a vagina live

… That has disturbing implications I’m not prepared to explore.

 and he stared abit till an aheam from raven jolted him back to his sense and blushing he took the wipes and began to clean her.

And I’m hoping that’s all the detail the narration goes into and it isn’t going to start describing things in an overly erotic manner.

Now it should be noted that when Raven had been diapered before she had merely been powdered.

:THWACK!:

The time to have mentioned that would have been back when Robin was doing the diapering. And why didn’t she do whatever it was she did to clean herself then instead of making Beast Boy use wipes on her now? Things are already weird enough.

The wipes cause her to shiver

I really hope that’s because the wipes are cold.

and she let out a small moan before stopping her self and blushing even redder.

:headdesk:

:headdesk:

:headdesk:

Beast boy pretended not to hear the moan and speed up but he couldn’t hide the proof,

Of course he couldn’t.

You know what I don’t understand about all of this? Up until this point, these two characters have been treating this situation as if it were an unusual yet completely mundane problem. Now they are so overcome by the sheer eroticness of their circumstances that they are both reacting in a sexual manner to what should be a utilitarian chore. It just seems very forced, even by fetish-fic standards.

he was hard and it was showing thru his own nightclothes, a t- shirt and shorts.

Huh?

The girls were forced by Robin to change into their nightclothes at six o’clock; did everyone else change at the same tine?

*AN: The only one not in nightclothes is Cyborg, Robin is in a beater and long pants*

:THWACK!:

NO AUTHOR’S NOTES IN THE NARRATION! Especially when it’s something that should already be in the frickin’ narration.

Taking the wet diaper and wrapping it up he threw it into a garbage can near the door before taking the new diaper and undoing it.

It figures that the only time we get any specific details in the narration is during the diapering scene.

“I need you to lift for a second Raven.” Beast boy said.

And you didn’t need her to do that to get the used diaper off?

Raven blinked then raise her self up, and in a moment of confusion her vagina came within a few inches of Beast boy’s face and gave him a good smell of her scent before he pull away and sent the diaper under her.

Girl-parts aren’t really known for having the best aroma even under ideal circumstances, but right now her “scent” is baby wipes mixed with traces of urine. Sexy.

“Y-you can lower your self down now.” Beast boy stammered. Raven smirked and lowered herself making beast boy wonder if that was an accident or if she did it on purpose.

Depends on how close he was to her when he told her to lift up, if he was face-first in her nethers then she really didn’t have to move very much but it he was farther away she’d have to make it much more obvious.

“Focus, you’re not going to have sex with her any time soon. Remember that!” He said to himself.

Here’s hoping.

He began to powder her and then taped up the diaper. He moved out of her way and helped her back up.

And then helped her change the bed, since they forgot to put anything down before changing Raven so the bedding is probably covered in powder.

“Thanks for the change. You know you’re not that bad of a person, you just when from friend to a tweener.” Raven said with a smirk.

He’s a what?

Beast boy looked confused and happy at the same time. “What’s a tweener?” “Not just a friend, not yet my boy friend.” Raven says.

So it’s like the platonic version of a fuck-buddy?

She plants a quick kiss on Beast boy face before walking back out into the living room to watch the rest of the movie, Beast boy stumbles out after a few with a dreamy look on his face as he sits down and works on what their first date is gonna be when he finally decides to ask her out.

You almost face-planted into her vagina; I think that counted as a date. In some cultures, you’d probably be married now.

Gary: Ah, young love. Beast boy and Raven: Shut up.

Please. I’m begging you.

Robin: Not bad, considering you left out that most of us were in night clothes till the end of the chapter.

Hey! :points Mr. Crowbar at Robin: Don’t try to worm your way back into my good graces, mister. I’m still mad at you.

Gary: HEY! I’ll have you know that it’s never to late to stick you in diapers too you know!

Since this is the last chapter, I would say that it is too late. Thank the gods for small favors.

Robin meeps and jumps into Starfire’s arms. Starfire: -_-() my hero.

Just hold on to him until puberty hits; you won’t be disappointed.

Gary: Any ways, as always people, let me know how you felt bout this chapter.

I think it’s strange the way you fluctuate between treating involuntary incontinence as a shameful and degrading thing and then elevating it into an erotic act. I assume this is a very specific fetish that you are catering to, but the way it is handled seems very uneven and forced.

And for those of you who haven’t figured it out yet, Starfire and Raven are wetting because of the hot dogs they ate.

…Yeah, I think we got that. Did you really think no one would pick up on that?

Raven: WHAT!?

See? That’s why you should have gone to a real doctor.

Gary: er, let’s finish this off, ready guys? Gary and the Titians: See ya later!

And by “later” they mean “never”, because that’s the end of the fic!

:picks up Glitter Cannon:

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to see a free trader about some missing whiskey.

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15 Comments on “1557: Teen titians: The weirdest foe – Chapter 4”

  1. BatJamags says:

    Well… that happened.The weird thing is, while there were a couple… moments, the story was not really trying to be all that erotic until this chapter, and then out of nowhere we get… this.

    • GhostCat says:

      Yeah, I was still a little on the fence about it being a fetish-fic – some of what happens in the previous chapters could possibly be attributed to the writer having a warped sense of humor – but this chapter just grabs the freak flag with both hands and runs with it.

  2. AdmiralSakai says:

    And there’s no way that two people who share the same living space and cooking areas would ever voluntarily share food? If your entire plan hinged on poisoning just one person’s food, why didn’t you poison Beast Boy’s meal? He’s the only vegetarian in the group so his food would be the least likely to be shared with the others.

    But GC…! Fetiiiish fiiiiiiic!

  3. AdmiralSakai says:

    She had began to notice the warm wet feeling

    It’s about time!

    and was shocked to find it was slightly arousing her

    …I can’t even.

    and in disgust she held her hand close to her face, and in her corner of the couch bit down onto it till the pain completely turned her off.

    And she doesn’t think anyone is going to notice this very, very strange behaviour?

    Beast boy could some what guess at what was going on

    I’m glad someone does, because I have no idea what’s going on here.

    Fuh- Fuh- Fuh- Fuh- FET-ish fic!!

  4. AdmiralSakai says:

    Raven stared at him, as if trying to figer something out.

    Fetish… fic?

  5. AdmiralSakai says:

    Girl-parts aren’t really known for having the best aroma even under ideal circumstances, but right now her “scent” is baby wipes mixed with traces of urine. Sexy.

    I never thought I’d be in this situation, but I am running out of ways to say “fetish ‘fic”.

  6. Swenia says:

    She had began to notice the warm wet feeling and was shocked to find it was slightly arousing her

    I’m game for some pretty kinky things, but ew, dude.

  7. Andiliteman says:

    She held her hand out to Beast boy, to ashamed to even say after thing and her grabbed it and lead her towards her room while Starfire whispered something into Robin’s ears which cause him to go wide eyed in surprise while Cyborg was too busy watching Dare devil try to stop bulls eye.

    Wait, you understood that dredge?
    Respect, man. Respect.

  8. Andiliteman says:

    Well, we’re done with this.

    Time to go watch a Pixar movie. And maybe drill a hole in my head. One or the other.

  9. :picks up Glitter Cannon:

    Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to see a free trader about some missing whiskey.

    Agent [GREY]: If that doesn’t work, you can grab a spritzer from one of the Riffleet Armories throughout the Library.


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