1516: Garfield Effect: Galaxy Adventure – Chapter Ten

Title: Garfield Effect: Galaxy Adventure
Author: ShakespeareHemmingway
Media: Video Game/Comic
Topic: Garfield/Mass Effect
Genre: Sci-fi/Adventure/crossover
URL: Chapter Ten
Critiqued by agigabyte

X as Lasagna Counter: 3

”You’re on a ship, in space” Counter: 14

Cain: Welcome back to… well, I don’t even need to say anything by now. The continued existence of this fic speaks for itself. Today, I’m riffing on my own (except for Monitor, but he’s always here), as everyone else is off doing other things to ensure the continued existence of the Gemini. I, meanwhile, have to continue riffing this fic, or the Library may kick us out. *Cracks knuckles* Oh, I needed that. Let’s begin.

Garfield Effect: Galaxy Adventure Part 10 Derelict Reaper Debacle!

Garfield was in the engineer checking on engines for maximum usage and talking to engineers Gabby Daniels and Kenneth Donnelly.

“Garfield engine needs repair but it is too difficult for us.” Said Kenneth Donnelly with confused tongue.

Cain: Not as confused as I was when I read the words “confused tongue”. Seriously, what the hell?

“Yes if only real man worked on engines than maybe it could be fixed.” Cried Gabby Daniels with worried heart.

“Worry not, hot legs, I fix engine like pro mechanic. You should watch you two might learn something.” Said Garfield with wrench in hand and courage in heart.

Garfield leaped on the engine ripping it apart with manly hands with oil spurting

Cain: Oil? Really?

(Yes. Definitely oil. -Monitor)

Cain: Didn’t need that thought in my head.

on his muscles turning Gabby Daniels on like warming engine. After twists and turns of the wrench Garfield fixed engine with no problem.

“Garfield you naughty grease monkey you drive me wild like wrench in the night.” Said Gabby Daniels body dripping with oil and sweat.

“You are the naughty one you sassy she woman.” Said Garfield as he put Gabby Daniels on his lap with mighty swoop and began to spank her with pleasuring fury as he laughed like love making mad man.

Cain: SH, you already established that Garfield was insane, what with the last nine chapters. You don’t need to reiterate.

“HA HA HA” Laughed Garfield as he spanked Gabby with powerful hand, making her long for his manly body.

“Garfield you rev me up like space engine in heat. Take me and work me over like model car.” Said Gabby Daniels with desire.

“Will do. I will go inside you and change your oil. Kenneth I order you to watch so you can learn something. Captains orders.”

Cain: While it’s nothing compared to actual rape, I’m pretty sure this does count as sexual harassment.

Said Garfield with insistence as he took Gabby took the back for heavy love making.

“Time for a remodeling.” said Garfield as he took Gabbys clothes off and began rubbing her body. Kenneth looked on with approval as Garfield fondled Gabbys supple breasts with his muscular arms.

Cain: Pretty sure this is an actual lemon.

“Garfield pump me with gas I am almost empty.” Moaned Gabby with pleasure.

“I am the gas man. I will pump you with highest quality fuel. Enjoy every drop.” Said Garfield like manly gas man pumping the gas into a high quality sports car. Garfield thrust into Gabby making scream with moaning passion

Cain: Definitely a lemon, if only barely.

as Kenneth looked on taking notes.

*Cain snerks*

Cain: This is my new favorite thing from this fic.

Garfield and Gabby than lay exhausted from strenuous sexual exercise.

*Cain looks back over the lemon*

Cain: Yeah, looked real strenuous.

“Excellent job Garfield. You are a true master.” Said Kenneth giving Garfield a thumbs up.

“Thank you Kenneth but I think this saucy lady needs some more discipline.” Said Garfield as he put Gabby on his lap and spanked her some more.

“Garfield spank me more I love it, I need it.” Said Gabby screaming.

“I will spank you into oblivion.” Growled Garfield seductively as he readied for more Spanking pleasure.

Cain: Yeah, real seductive.

As Garfield Spanked Gabby the Allusive Man contacted Garfield through hologram for important mission.

“What is it I am busy.” Said Garfield with Gabby on his lap.

Cain: Saving the galaxy is more important than fucking the girl of the week.

“Garfield I am sorry for interrupting but I have important mission for you. A Derelict Reaper has been found. It has Reaper IFF codes. With these you can go into Omega relay and fight collectors.” Said the Allusive man with request.

“Very well I will head immediately and find Reaper IFFs so I can stomp collectors on my boot. Over and out.” Declared Garfield with speech.

“Joker head to Derelict Reaper and make with haste.” Ordered Garfield as he continued to Spank Gabby.

*Cain sighs*

With Garfields orders, The Normany sped to the Derelict reaper like a sprinting Gazelle leaping for joy. As the Normany traveled Garfield continued to spank Gabby delivering pleasure to her rear and thighs. When Normany arrived at the Derelict reaper, Garfield let gabby off, her hind quarters red with spanking. She would not sit for days but she was happy.

“Garfield please be careful I will be waiting for you.” Sighed Gabby with worry.

“No problem babe. Keep the bed warm for me.” Said Garfield cooley as he left the Normany to board the derelict reaper. Garfield took Tali and Garrus with him to explore Derelict Reaper for IFF codes.

Garfield and squad searched the Derelict Reaper for IFF codes, finding no one inside.

“Where is everyone?” Asked Tali with worry.

“You women always worry. Relax big strong man is here.” Said Garfield with confidence.



“Garfield you always know what to say to make woman feel good.” Said Tali as she grasped his muscular arm.

Garrus looked at Garfield and Tali with jealous gaze and sighed to himself with longing dejection.

As Garfield comforted Tali with his manly presence he sensed figures moving in the distance approaching them. They were Husks!

“Haha Garfield you will not leave this place alive. Prepare to be digestion!”

*Cain chuckles*

Cain: Okay, fic, ya got me there.

Garbled the sinister husks with evil intentions.

“I do not think so. I prefer my food being cooked first so let us have barbeque.” Said Garfield slyly as he took out two flame throwers lighting a cigar with one.

Cain: That’s like using a Death Star to swat a fly.

The husks rushed Garfield with great attacks but it was no use. Garfield torched them with ease with his special lasagna flamethrowers. One Husks jumped on Garfields back trying to choke him in piggy back move, but Garfield brushed him off with ease and then stomped on his skull.

“Let us move quick and get IFF codes .” Said Garfield as he and squad ran through the Derelict Reaper, torching husks as they went. Garfield and squad finally came to a room with many Husks inside discussing plans.

”X as Lasagna” Counter: 4

Cain: Okay, I didn’t address the fact that the character blob of what amounts to tech-zombies speaking a few moments ago, but seriously?

“We must protect these IFF codes from Garfield.” Said the Husk general to his husk followers.

Husk General

Cain: Fuck. You.

“Those IFF codes belong to Garfield!” Shouted a metallic voice. It was a Geth!

Cain: Such surprise. Many twist. Wow.

“The reapers must be stopped I will get those codes!” Said the Geth.

“Come we must help!” Shouted Garfield barging in flamethrowers blazing with powers.

The Husk General confronted the Geth with evil.

“None of you will leave with this IFF.” Said the Husk General as he shot the Geth.

Cain: Legion was a lot more awesome in the game. Also, why did the Husk shoot him? Husks are melee only!

“NOOOOOOO.” Screamed the Geth as he lay injured.

Cain: Legion was a lot more awesome in the game.

Garfield saw the evil display and became filled with an oily

Cain: What is with this chapter and oil?

rage of destroyed rainforests.

(??? -Monitor)

“I WILL GET YOOOOU.” Said Garfield as he charged through the Husks like seashells through sand as he torched them to waste. Garfield then approached the Husk general with a strut so manly the ground cried.

Cain: *Repeated headdesks*

“Garfield you may be manly but I will not let you have these IFF codes it is the orders.” Said the Husk general.

“Relax have a smoke.” Said Garfield sticking a piece of dynamite in the Husk generals mouth.

“Light up.” Garfield wittily commented as he lit the dynamite with his flame throwers.

“HMMMMF” Cried out the Husk general, mouth stuffed with dynamite.

“Do not lose your head.” Quipped Garfield with clever joke as the Husk generals head blew off like geyser in a blackhole.

Cain: Interesting euphemism for “head asplode”.

“G-arfield.” T he injured Geth Was injured and crying for help.

Quick take this Geth we must bring it back for repairing.” Ordered Garfield to the squad.

“But Garfield Geth are bad menaces we must not bring it back they are our enemies.” Cried out Tali with girlish crying.

“Shut up woman do as I say.” Roared Garfield a he backhanded Tali in the face.

Cain: Ignoring the abuse, I would like to point out that she has a helmet on.

“Yes Garfield you are right and I am wrong.” Apologized Tali with truth.

After apologizing for her stupid sayings, Tali took the Geth and followed Garfield and Garrus off the derelict reaper and back on the Normany. Before leaving the Derelict Reaper, Garfield said his farewells.

“Goodbye Reaper, you need a vacation here why do you not go somewhere sunny.” Said Garfield with chill tone as he punched the reaper with a mighty punch, sending it into a nearby sun.

Cain: Poor laws of physics.

When back on the Normany Garfield checked up on the Geth guest to see if all was well.

“Greetings Mr. Geth I am thanking you for your help but why do you help us you are Geth and Geth are evil.” Asked Garfield with good questions.

“All Geth are not evil. Some Geth are evil and follow Reapers other Geth are good. I am good Geth.” Said the Geth with answers.

“That is good but what is your name?” Asked Garfield.

“My name is Legion.” Answered the Geth with respect and awe of Garfield.

(Y tho? -Monitor)

“That is a silly name.” Said Garfield with mocking truth.

“I am sorry it is not my fault I have silly name please forgive me Garfield.” Begged Legion as he kneeled on the ground.

“It is ok but do not anger me more. Now stop crying like a woman.” Scolded Garfield as he left to his quarters.

“What great man and amazing leader.” Said Legion in awe to himself.

Back in the Captains Quarters Garfield was relaxing and enjoying a nice Lasagna dinner when EDI appeared in his room.

“Garfield I have need to talk with you.” Said Edi with longing voice.

“What is the matter EDI.” Asked Garfield with caring concern.

“Even though I am machine you make me feel ways no one else can. I see you from my hub and long for you.” Cried EDI with desire.

Cain: I would exclaim that I’m happy about how she’s a hologram that isn’t solid, but this is GE, so there’s going to be a lemon anyway.

“You have no need to long no more. I will satisfy you and make you feel like real woman.” Whispered Garfield to EDI as he stroked her.

“Garfield come and pleasure my CPU.” Said EDI with desire.

Garfield rubbed EDIs sexy blue body and licked her blue dome. EDI massaged Garfield between his legs arousing him sensually.

“Nothing I like better than a good soldier standing erect.” Said EDI with sassy seduction as she continued to stroke Garfield between his thighs. Garfield then took ahold of EDI, brought her to his bed and mounted her behind with roaring love. Garfield squeezed EDI with his powerful thighs and thrust into her like runaway tornado. After nearly 10 hours of intense love making Garfield and EDI finally rested, laying on the bed with satisfaction until the morning light.

To be continued…

Cain: Yes, it’s finally over! See you all next time.

X as Lasagna Counter: 4

”You’re on a ship, in space” Counter: 14


9 Comments on “1516: Garfield Effect: Galaxy Adventure – Chapter Ten”

  1. AdmiralSakai says:

    “Excellent job Garfield. You are a true master.” Said Kenneth giving Garfield a thumbs up.

    “Thank you Kenneth but I think this saucy lady needs some more discipline.” Said Garfield as he put Gabby on his lap and spanked her some more.

    “Garfield spank me more I love it, I need it.” Said Gabby screaming.

    “I will spank you into oblivion.” Growled Garfield seductively as he readied for more Spanking pleasure.

    Ok, when did this turn into Fifty Shades of Orange?

  2. AdmiralSakai says:

    Garfield saw the evil display and became filled with an oily rage of destroyed rainforests.

    And now it’s turning into Jim Davis’s AVATAR!

  3. AdmiralSakai says:

    T he injured Geth Was injured


    God dammit.

  4. Faith says:

    I can’t wait until you guys get to the “Desperate lasagna woman. That’s all I’m gonna say and that’s all you need. ;3

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