1486: life in zootopia – Chapter 1Posted: July 29, 2016
I’m here with a new fic – and it’s in a canon we haven’t covered before! You know what that means, gentle Patrons; time for an SC-style infodump.
:cracks knuckles and rolls shoulders:
Zootopia (or Zootropolis as it’s know in Europe) takes place in a world of anthropomorphic animals. It follows a hare named Judy Hopps from the rural community of Bunnyburrow who has a dream to become the first bunny police officer even though “bunnies don’t do that”. She perseveres through the Police Academy, graduates at the top of her class and then is assigned to the prestigious District One – only to be given parking duty while the rest of the force pursues a high-profile series of missing mammal cases.
While on her first patrol, she meets a red fox named Nick Wilde who is attempting to buy a Jumbo Pop from an elephant-run ice cream parlor, ostensibly for his “son” who wants to be an elephant when he grows up, only to be met with outright discrimination due to the fact that foxes are considered shifty and dishonest. She not only convinces the proprietor to sell the Jumbo Pop, but pays for it out of her own pocket. Later in the day she spots Nick and his “son”, who is really his adult fennec fox sidekick, melting down the pop and re-freezing it into smaller “Pawpcicles” that are sold at a high profit to a bunch of lemmings. The pair even retrieve the used sticks from a recycling bin, bundle them up, and sell them to a mouse construction crew – explaining away the reddish discoloration from the cherry-flavored Pawpcicles by calling the sticks ‘red wood’. When Judy confronts Nick he cynically (and with a wonderfully acerbic delivery that fully justifies my long-standing crush on Jason Bateman) explains a few painful truths of life, leaving her sad and depressed.
The next day, Judy’s mood darkens as she endures a series of negative confrontations from irate citizens. However, things improve when a florist is robbed right in front of her and she pursues the thief, finally nabbing him with a giant donut (it makes sense in context) in Little Rodentia. Instead of praising her, the chief of police, Chief Bogo, reprimands her for abandoning her post and inciting a scurry. He is interrupted when a female otter, Mrs. Otterton, bursts into his office to plead once more for someone to find her husband, Emmitt, who is one of the missing mammals. Judy impulsively offers to help, only to be fired for insubordination once Mrs. Otterton is out of sight. Luckily, Mrs. Otterton runs into Assistant Mayor Bellwether outside Chief Bogo’s door, who texts to mayor to inform him that Judy has taken the Otterton case. Chief Bogo then reluctantly gives Judy the case, with the stipulation that she must solve it in forty-eight hours or resign from the force. The file contains almost nothing save a grainy surveillance photo of Emmitt – who just happens to be eating a Pawpcicle. Judy blackmails Nick into helping her, and the two progress down the standard buddy cop “animosity turning into friendship” path while solving the case of the missing mammals. Nick eventually joins the police force as the first fox officer and becomes Judy’s partner.
Now that I’ve covered the high points, let’s take a look at the fic summary.
we’ll follow the life of both oficers nick and judy and see how they interact solve problems in their everydaylife and in their work and we’ll go deeper into the relationship between the 2 main characters but it will take some time ,first time writing please give me some feedback good, bad , don’t care just want to know what you people think, any questions read my bio thanks.
I’ve read the author’s bio and it really doesn’t clarify anything. It does state that the author isn’t a native English speaker, which could be good or bad. Based solely on the summary, I’m not holding out a lot of hope.
Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTER OR LOCATION IT’S ALL DISNEY FOLKS…
Oh, great. a disclaimer. I haven’t had one of these in a while.
(Can’t believe I have to write this crap people know i didn’t came up with the story please read bio)
You … Don’t. At all. Ever. A disclaimer is meaningless.
Chapter I : “our thing”
So. Many. Inappropriate. Comments. Brain … Overloading…
Nick and Judy were patrolling the city of zootopia in their brand new police car, it was nick’s second day as a member of the ZPD and second day as Judy’s partner.
If it’s their second day on patrol together, why is the car brand new? Did something happen to their previous vehicle?
Since this fic apparently contains police-type activity, and the Library doesn’t have a good track record with authors doing anything resembling research, it would probably be a good idea to text Specs & Co and see if someone can keep tabs on Shades.
:takes out cell phone:
The last thing I need is to get filled full of lead by an irate Brit. Again.
Ugh. Why does Glasses need to use so many emoji?
“Hey cotton tail put something on the radio I’m sooo bored” said nick with one hand on the wheel and the other on his Starbucks cappuccino
They’re in a patrol car, so the radio should be on so they can receive calls from Dispatch and hear any chatter from other officers.
“First don’t call me cotton tail second put both of your paws on the wheel and third no way” replied Judy while looking her iPhone
That sort-of echoes a conversation Judy has with Nick very early in their acquaintance, but it doesn’t happen more than once. Their banter softens significantly by the end of the film.
“come on Judy!” said nick
“I’m the one driving I should be the one who picks the music”
It is standard operating procedure that the driver picks the music and shotgun shuts their cakehole, but this is a patrol car. Can officers even listen to music in their cars?
:quick Google break:
Huh. It appears that officers can listen to music at a low volume, as long as their concentration and work are not affected and they can still hear radio calls. So no thumping techno while on duty.
Judy lowered her phone and looking at nick with an angry pouty face said
:takes out mirror and makes faces:
How is she getting her face to do that?
“Ok … what do you want to listen?”
“I dunno…” said nick while moving his shoulders
“Look for something on the radio”.
:yawns: Much drama. Such excitement.
Judy started zapping through the radio stations when nick startled her by yelling:
“Wait that one that’s the one!”
AHHHH! KILL IT! KILL IT!
:flails around wildly with Mr. Crowbar:
Oh. Sorry. In my defense there’s two things you never want to startle; a sleeping dragon and a dozy Librarian.
As she switched back to the previous radio station Judy said:
“What is this?”
Is it the plot? Because that’s gone missing and it would be fabulous if you managed to find some.
“come on cotton tail it’s opposites attract by Paula the bull,
I’m assuming that’s meant to be an animal pun on the artist Paula Abdul, but since a bull is male and Paula is female I think the author just accidentally turned Paula into a trans person. Animal. Whatever.
man this takes me back” replied nick with a radiant smile on his face
All the way back to late 1989/early 1990, which is much farther back than most of our Patrons can go.
“You must know this song” said nick while leaving his cappuccino on the cup holder
The song is twenty-six years old and by my math Judy is twenty-three when she meets Nick. Unless the song managed to remain popular, or unless Judy enjoys dated pop music from the time she was a toddler, she may not recognize the song.
“Nick I think you must update your music tastes” replied Judy while cracking a smile
I guess that’s a “No” for the ” Does Judy enjoy dated pop music?” question.
“Come on cotton tail sing it with me” shouted nick
If the music is loud enough that he has to shout to be heard, then it is probably interfering with their ability to hear the police frequencies.
“Fine but I don’t know the lyrics” said Judy with her down casted eyes
“Don’t worry it’s easy just follow my lead” replied nick.
… I don’t think Nick or Judy understand how a sing-a-long works. If she doesn’t know the lyrics, then she can’t really sing along, can she?
n:Baby seems we never ever agree
n:You like the movies…
j:¿And I like T.V.?
Oya, song lyrics. :presses button: Better have the clan dispatch a Tranquility Squad with some Key lime Pies of Calming for Herr.
I assume that the lowercase “n” and “j” indicate which lines Nick and Judy are singing, which is;
A) not the way you should attribute dialogue, and
B) makes Judy’s statement that she doesn’t know the lyrics a lie.
(N:that’s it cotton tail!)
(j:hahah shut up nick )
Are those narrative asides in the middle of the frickin’ lyrics?
:rubs author’s nose in fic:
No! Bad author!
j:I take things serious
n:And you take ’em light
j:I go to bed early
n:And I party all night!
This is one of the first verses of a song that Judy claims not to know the words to – and even if it wasn’t, only the chorus repeats. The verses don’t repeat at all, so even if she had already heard part of it she wouldn’t be able to sing along.
Nick turns the volume down and says:
“Thank goodness no one heard us violating the department’s restrictions against loud music!”?
“hahahaha ok ok Judy this is definitely our thing”
“haha yeah you might be right about this “replied Judy
…Huh? What part of this … this constitutes their “thing”? And did it involve stuff?
Suddenly the intercom said “unit 789 there is a code 2 a robbery on sabana street ,
If “2” is the code for a robbery, then why would the dispatcher feel the need to elaborate? I thought the whole reason for having radio code terms was in order to convey as much information as possible in the least amount of time? And why is the code so short? Most of the codes I found online were at least three digits, sometimes five, and often had an additional letter added on – like in California a robbery is 211, while a robbery with an alarm is 211A and a robbery with a silent alarm is a 211S. And numbers would be read out digit by digit, with any letters given using a radio alphabet. So if the dispatcher was sending Judy and Nick to check on a robbery with an alarm they would say “Unit Seven-Eight-Nine, respond to a Two-One-One-Adam at [Number-Number-Number] Sabana Street.”
the suspect is a pig, male about 3 feet’s tall; can you respond? “.
:gets out ruler:
My feet are only about two and a half inches tall at the ankle, so this must be a really tiny pig.
Suddenly nick grabbed his aviator glasses, picked up the intercom and responded:
By promptly driving off the road and plowing into a telephone pole. He was driving with one hand and holding a Starbucks; even if he put the cup down to pick up either the sunglasses or the intercom, that still leaves him short a hand for steering when he picks up the other item.
“Here unit 789 officer handsome and cotton tail are on our way”
Officer Handsome and Cotton Tail sounds like a bad Smokey and The Bandit knock-off.
“Wait officer cotton tail!?” said Judy angrily while taking the intercom away from nicks paws
Actually that lack of a plural noun means he just called you Cotton Tail, not Officer Cotton Tail.
“Here officer hops and wilde we’re moving to savanna street eta 2 minutes”.
That’s nice, but what about the robbery on Sabana Street?
“Roger that cotton tail over and out “responded the radio
Sorry, Genderless Dispatcher, but that other missing “s” means her name is now Officer Hops-and-Wilde. She went from a B-movie to something that sounds like a hipster microbrewery.
to which Judy could only look at nick with a murderer face,
:places mirror back in desk drawer:
I couldn’t even manage the angry pouty face, so I’m not even going to try that one.
while speeding through the streets with the siren on Judy said to her partner:
When did they turn the siren on? Was it always on? Is that why he had the radio so loud?
And why is Judy speeding through the streets in her murderer face? She can’t use a car like a normal person?
“Ok nick I’ll chase him and you’ll give me cover ok?”
Why does she assume the suspect is running? If the robbery is still in-progress shouldn’t he be, y’know, inside robbing the place?
“Fine by me hops” responded nick with a smug face at the same time that he put his feet on the gas.
Isn’t he already speeding?
At the location
Which is right next to the place.
both quickly got out of the police car and started running towards the shop that was being robbed,
Not the shop! That’s where I buy all my things!
right in the corner of the shop as nick was peeking to check the situation judy began to tell him:
“Ok nick we need a plan, do you see anything?” to which he responded
I thought the plan was “Judy chases Suspect while Nick provides non-specific cover”? It’s not a very good plan, but it is a plan.
“Does a big fat pig with what seems like a 4 days old sleeveless shirt, a serious eating disorder and a handful of jewelry sounds like anything to you? “Suddenly she says to nick
It sounds like a pig with really bad hygiene and a terrible sense of fashion, which I don’t think is technically a crime. Is the pig actually doing anything that could be considered illegal? Are they just assuming that a pig with a lot of jewelry is a thief of some sort?
“He’s going to run towards the construction site across the street I’ll follow him you go around”
Can Whomever-Said-That tell the future? Because the suspect is still inside the store that’s being robbed, presumably in the process of robbing it even though that’s not really clear from the narration.
“Wait what about the cover!?” yelled nick as Judy jumped forward and started running towards the pig while screaming” ZPD stop!”
Is the pig currently discharging a firearm in Judy’s direction? No? THEN SHE DOESN’T NEED “COVER”!
the pig seeing the intrepid bunny going towards him yelled “aww fudge” and started running towards the construction site as Judy predicted ,
Much to the surprise of no one.
the pig pushed a couple of beaver workers throwing them to the ground and then proceeded to sneak inside a concrete pipe to rest ,
If you’re yelling what passes for a swear word and pushing people out of the way, I don’t think what you’re doing could be considered “sneaking” anymore.
as the pig hyperventilated he said:
“O h god oh oh it hurts so bad… body’s aren’t made for running”
He’s hyperventilating just from running across the street? Damn, dude. You outta shape.
“Maybe you need more exercise” responded Judy as she poked her head from over the concrete pipe
And was promptly punched in the face.
“Now where was I? Oh right! ZPD STOP!”
Stop doing what? He just crammed himself into a culvert; he isn’t going anywhere right now.
“ahhh” ;”leave me alone you cotton tailed witch! “Screamed the pig as he ran out of the concrete pipe
All those quotation marks make it confusing to know who is screaming what at who.
the runaway saw a chance to get away through the back entrance of the construction site,
The what of the what? Is there such a thing as a back entrance to a construction site? It just sounds strange.
with an evil grin on his face he started running towards the exit as he pushed more workers,
Truly he is a master of stealth.
Judy was on his tail but saw that one of the workers he pushed was about to be buried in cement, instinctively she stopped chasing after the pig and jumped to help the beaver getting him out before the workers poured the cement.
Without more context, I can’t figure out if this is a heroic thing or a waste of time. In my experience, concrete is poured in two ways; a flat slab such as a foundation or sidewalk, which the beaver could easily escape, or into a mold containing a latticework of steel reinforcing bars (rebar), in which case it would be difficult for the beaver to fall in due to the rebar and the walls of the mold would prevent Judy from seeing the beaver or reaching them before the concrete is poured in.
And where are all the other workers that the pig is pushing out of the way? Wouldn’t they be both closer and better prepared to help one of their coworkers in this type of accident? It’s not as if Judy took a “How to prevent construction accidents” course at the police academy.
she started walking towards the exit thinking the pig have gotten away with her ears and face
:spits out coffee:
The pig stole her face AND her ears?!? I thought he was after jewelry!
looking down until she heard a familiar voice that said to her:
“Lost something cotton tail?” it was nick, he had manage to catch the pig, and Judy started jumping with happiness saying:
“How did you manage to circle around and get in front of him?” Because that’s something I’d like to know, too.
“We did it! Aww yeah in your face lard ass” as she pointed to the pig
Ooo-oh! Someone’s gonna have to put a quarter in the Swear Jar!
“Yeah yeah” said nick
“We’re a good team”
Nick did most of the work! All Judy did was possibly rescue a beaver who was only endangered because she chased a suspect through the construction site instead of keeping him pinned down in the culvert.
“Now let’s take this guy to the HQ quickly before he leaves the backseat smelling like a manure farm”
While manure is a byproduct of farms that raise livestock, it typically isn’t the main product; a farmer wouldn’t raise a herd of cattle solely for their waste.
I did at first wonder if any place in Zootopia’s world would produce manure other than what the sentient animals make themselves, but presumably there are farms raising meat animals for the predators (perhaps reptiles, fish, or other non-mammal species) somewhere that would do so.
So with a smile on his face, they both proceeded to escort the pig to the zootopia police hq ,
Which is a good thing, since the alternative requires one of them walking back to the station alone.
upon arrival at hq chief bogo was waiting for them outside of the station looking as serious as ever,
Why is the Chief of Police personally waiting for them to bring in a petty jewelry thief? It’s not like they caught a serial killer or something.
Judy and nick got out of the car to which Judy gave the chief a serious and firm salute:
“Hello chef bogo sir” unlike nick who just said “sup chief?”
Ugh. This hurts so bad to read. And yes – all of the formatting is like this.
“Sir we captured the robber from Savanna Street “said Judy happily as she pointed to the pig inside the car backseat.
Would have been a bit odd if they had been sent to a robbery on Savanna Street and came back with a prostitute from Tundra Town.
“It’s our gift to you chief” “see it’s wrapped and everything just for you” responded nick with the corner of his mouth lifted.
Wrapped? What the hell is he talking about? I don’t even think they handcuffed him!
“That’s enough wild” responded chief bogo “still, nice work hopps and… you too wild”
You managed to adequately fulfill your job requirements; two thumbs up!
I’ll take him in, you two fill the paperwork and then you can leave, you earned it”;
Is it anywhere near the end of their shifts? And what exactly have they done that would earn them the privilege of leaving early? I would assume that booking suspects into jail is all in a regular day’s work for a police officer.
the chief moved towards the police car opened the door and said to the pig
“You. Out. Now!”
I’m not a police officer, but this seems a bit off. I would assume chain of custody is very important for both suspects and evidence since it could affect any future legal proceedings. If this was one of those police procedurals on TV, I’d assume Chief Bogo was dirty and was trying to get his hands on the pig suspect for some unknown yet nefarious reason.
The pig face went blank and in a low respectful tone said:
“c c chief Bogo sir if you don’t mind i would like officer hops to take me in.”
The chief grabbed the pig from his shirt and took him out of the police car, he then proceeded to drag the pig inside the police HQ while saying to him:
“Don’t you worry friend I’m actually a really nice guy once you get to know me!”… “fyi that’s a lie hahahhaha”.
… Yeah, this is just making me super suspicious of Chief Bogo’s motives. He was waiting for them at the door, offered to give them the rest of their shift off, and now he’s dragging the suspect off to who-knows-where? That just whiffs of shenanigans.
“Man I pity that pig” said nick as he raised his eyebrows and nodded his head,
If he knows Bogo is up to something, why did he let the chief take their suspect?
“so Judy you do the paperwork and I get coffee?”
That seems fair; Nick was the one who actually collared the suspect, after all. I’m wondering how they are going to be able to do this “paperwork” without their suspect or any information from the scene of the crime, though.
“HA!” “Nice try nick I chased that pig i get to rest now, you do the paperwork “
But he chased the suspect, too – and caught him! I think that counts for more.
responded Judy with her mouth curved into a smirked smile.
You got me, bud. Maybe you should get a second opinion, just in case.
:Cerbs walks over to the door and sticks his head into the hall:
:a bolt of Force lightning streaks into the riffing chamber, striking Cerbs’ gong and launching it into Judy:
Yeah, I’d say that was a definite ‘yes’.
“unff fine” answered nick “but next time you pick the music and i rest from paperwork” said to Judy as she left to the HQ break room
…They never left their patrol car. Did they actually drive into the police station and are now parked in the precinct’s break room?
No, that doesn’t make everything in the break room fridge ‘fair game’.
No exceptions. We have Sharpies in the cupboard for a reason, you know. A labeled lunch is a happy lunch.
“Ba. Baa. Ba-ba.”
I don’t care what Contacts says! You can’t really trust him in these matters.
Or Syl. Especially Syl.
“Well it’s paperwork time” “man I need a coffee” said nick to himself as he walked towards the detention area to fill the paperwork.
Now I’m really confused. If they have to go to the detention area to do this “paperwork” anyway, then what benefit was there to letting Bogo take their suspect to the detention area? Assuming he took the pig there and not a shallow grave behind the evidence locker.
END OF CHAPTER I
Yes, thank you. The lack of continuing narration was confusing me until you so helpfully pointed out that the chapter was over.