1442: Sonic.exe – One Shot

Title:  Sonic.exe
Author:  Tom?
Media: Video Game
Topic: Sonic the Hedgehog
Genre: Creepypasta
URL:  Sonic.exe
Critiqued by AdmiralSakai and Gul

WARNING –

While this so-called “horror” story is not at all scary, it does contain a bit of gore and other content that may not be appropriate for a work or school environment. Proceed with caution.

Hello there, everyone; today I’ve got a bit of a surprise for you. I was going to continue on with Chapter 6 of Love of a Spartan, but as I get further into that ‘fic I’ve come to realize that it is just absolutely massive– fifty chapters, more than My Immortal, and these are substantially longer. In my word processor they average out to about 10 or 11 letter-size pages, meaning that the story is in fact substantially longer than most publication novels. And, since 90% of that word count is childish dialogue and sitting around doing nothing all that much, I’ve decided that every five chapters we’ll take a break and read through one or two one-shots that should have a bit more activity to them.

“Good. I was beginning to think that I’d died sometime around the end of John and the Dragon Rider, and the spirits of my ancestors had taken on the forms of UNSC Marines to punish me for my mismanagement of their company.”

So with that out of the way, today we’ll be doing something a tiny bit out of the ordinary for the Library. I don’t have any problem counting the story we’re doing as a fanfic, as it deals extraordinarily heavily with the Sonic video game franchise, but it is also, if you want to get technical about it, a creepypasta.

For the uninitiated, creepypasta (“pasta” for short, with various different attempts at pluralization) are basically Internet ghost stories- unchaptered, usually short pieces of horror fiction that look and sound like urban legends or first-hand accounts. They started out circulating on unrelated forums, blogs, and other web sources, which is why so many of them are written so as to make it look like the events in them “really happened”. Nowadays there’s an entire wiki dedicated to nothing but creepypastas, but their basic format remains unchanged.

It is common for writers to use each other’s characters and concepts in their own stories, basically inhabiting the same “canon”- this is usually not looked on as plagairism, but rather appreciation for the original character (although of course horrible arguments inevitably result about what is and is not “canonical”). This means that many of the most well-known creepypasta “entities”, like Slenderman, are in fact the product of many, many people.

Now, I have to say up front that as a reader I just don’t get horror. I have a very difficult time appreciating even the “great” writers like Lovecraft and Poe, and could really never get into the right mindset to even remotely enjoy the campier, slasher-movie side of the genre. But… well, even taking that into consideration, I have to say that the quality of creepypasta as a genre is just not very good. Even the “best of the best” strike me as competently written from a mechanical perspective but rather uninspiring as stories… and a lot of the ones that become wildly popular are simply awful.

Take today’s story as an example- it’s a purplish-beige grammatical nightmare about a haunted Sonic game. Yes, you read that correctly.

Now, it’s difficult to say exactly how much of an impact Sonic.exe itself had on the creepypasta world- there are literally hundreds of stories that are almost identical to it in content and quality, but at the same time Sonic.exe itself came out almost a year after another very similar story called BEN DROWNED, so it’s possible all the terrible people are just copying that. I haven’t read BEN DROWNED in detail, although it seems to be somewhat better written mechanically and makes a good use of YouTube videos for an audiovisual element… but at the same time it’s a story about a haunted Majora’s Mask game cart that communicates with the narrator through Cleverbot. So your mileage my vary.

Nonetheless, Sonic.exe most definitely has developed a fandom of its own, complete with undeniable spinoffs of truly godawful quality, so by taking it on I feel like I really am doing the Internet a public service.

Well, if you’re done snapping your fleshy human jaws about it like the galaxy’s worst drill instructor, let’s get started.”

Right.

Now, one of the great things about creepypasta is that the wiki supports adding title pictures- you can set a scene, or give the viewer a tantalizing glimpse of what your monster looks like, in order to get their imagination in the right state. So let’s see what Sonic.exe uses in place of its first thousand words:

sonic1

Well, this is off to an encouraging start.”

I’d also like to note that according to what research I was able to do on the story’s origins, this… lovely photomanipulation was not even made by JC-The-Hyena but by somebody else entirely. I’m not really sure why they would bother to create something this awful, but I’d still like to think they are disappointed at the use to which the author put it.

“I would have altered it so that Sonic was extending his middle finger. It seems appropriate, given the rest of the story.”

I’m a total Sonic the Hedgehog fan much like everyone else,

Except for people who were too young to really remember the franchise when it was good, or never really played video games, or just never liked the franchise because of any other perfectly reasonable issue…”

I like the newer games, but I don’t mind playing the classics. I don’t think I’ve ever played glitchy or hacked games before, though I don’t think I want to play any after the experience I had…

And yet, even after the experience I’ve had, I continue to read your stories.

It started on a nice summer afternoon,

Well, at least it wasn’t a dark and stormy night.

I was playing Sonic Unleashed (I liked how you get to explore the towns in it)

Let me get out of the way right now that I know next to nothing about the Sonic franchise, so this is pretty much meaningless to me (so, apparently, to the author at least, I am not ‘everyone else!). That said, I don’t think this will become a problem because “Sonic.exe” actually has extremely little to do with Sonic.

… and yet, at the same time, far too much.”

until I noticed, out of my peripheral vision, that the mailman had arrived and put something in my mailbox as usual and left.

I paused my game to go see what I got in the mail… The only thing in the Mailbox was a CD case for computers

As opposed to what, exactly? A CD case for ceiling fans?”

and a note. I took it inside.

I looked at the note first and realized it was from my dear friend Kyle (Let’s just call him that),

Why would we call him anything else?”

whom I hadn’t heard from in 2 weeks.

JC?

If you don’t know what you’re doing with them, don’t use the fancy words!

I know that because I recognized his handwriting, though what was weird is how it looked; it looked badly written and scratchy and somewhat difficult to read, as if Kyle was having a hard time writing it down and did it in a hurry.

Sort of like this story.”

This is what he wrote…

“Tom,

Tom?? Oh, shit, the story knows my name!

And, now that you’ve posted it in the Internet, so does everybody else.”

Whatever.

I can’t take it anymore, I had to get rid of this thing somehow before it was too late, and I was hoping you’d do it for me. I can’t do it, he’s after me, and if you don’t destroy this CD, he’ll come after you too, he’s too fast for me….

SONIC!!!!!!!

“He’s the fastest thing undead!!!”

Please Tom, destroy this god-forsaken disc before he comes after you too, it’s too late for me.

Destroy it yourself, you lazy prick. It’s not that difficult to snap a CD-ROM.

Destroy the disc, and you’ll destroy him, but do it quick otherwise he’ll catch you. Don’t even play the game, it’s what he wants, just destroy it.

Please…

Kyle”

Well, that was certainly weird.

Stop talking directly to us!”

Even if he is taking the comments directly out of my mouth.

Even though Kyle IS my best friend and I haven’t seen him in 2 weeks, I didn’t do what he asked me. I didn’t think that a simple gaming disc would do anything bad to him, after all it’s just a game right? Boy, was I wrong about that…

There are four tense shifts in that one 50-word paragraph. I’m just going to stop and let that sink in for a moment.

ANY way,

OH god, it’s SWEET bro AND hella jeff random CAPSLOCK!

sonic 2

I looked at the disc and it looks like any ordinary computer CD-R disc, except it had black marker on it written “SONIC.EXE”, and it was much unlike Kyle’s handwriting, meaning that he must’ve gotten it from someone else, like a pawn shop or eBay.

Mean while the Orcs clime up the window and grabed Laura and then Laura wakes up and screamed and then the gard goes into her room and saw lots of Orcs and then Legolas runs down the hall.

A Tense Narrative Counter: 6

When I saw “SONIC” on the writing of the CD, I was actually excited and wanted to play it, since I’m a a BIG Sonic fan.

Hey, after we’re done here, wanna go watch Attack of the the Eye Creatures?

I don’t know why, but that suddenly seems like an an extremely good idea.”

… I think the the ‘fic is skipping.

I went up to my room and turned on my computer and put the disc in and installed the game.

Mean while the Orcs was back at Mondor and then Laura said”put me down”and then the Orcs did and then the Dark lord came out of the fire and said”welcome Laura” and then Laura looked at him and said”no it can’t be”and then she tryed to run away but the Orcs got her.

When the title screen popped up I noticed that it was the first Sonic game, I was like “Awesome!” Because like I said earlier I liked the classics.

And this dialogue is, like, really annoying.”

The first thing I noticed that was out of place was when I pressed start, there’s was a split second when I saw the title image turned into something much different,

A Tense Narrative Counter: 8

something that I now consider horrifying,

It turned into the comments list for Sonic.exe?”

before cutting to black.

I remember what the image looked like in that split second before the game cut to black; The sky had darkened, the title emblem was rusted and ruined, the SEGA 1991 was now instead SEGA 666, and the water had turned red, like blood, except it looked hyper-realistic.

Ok, first off… ooooohhhhhh, six-six-six, soooooooooo scary…

Second, we have the image in question right up at the top, and that water does not look realistic, “hyper” or otherwise.”

And third, how did Idiot Me remember all of this if the screen was only shown for a split second? I could buy telling that the water had changed color, maybe, but reading tiny numbers in the corner of the screen?

But the freakiest thing that was in that split second frame was Sonic, his eyes were pitch black and bleeding with two glowing red dots staring RIGHT AT ME,

Whoa there, bucko, easy on the capslock!

And on the comma splices, those aren’t helping either.”

and his smile had stretched wider up to the edge of his face. I was rather disturbed about that image when I saw it, though I figured that it was just a glitch and forgot about it.

Some “glitch”- especially the supposedly more-realistic-than-real water.

After it cut to black it stayed like that for about 10 seconds or so. And then another weird thing happened, the save file select from Sonic the Hedgehog 3 popped up, and I was like “WTF? What’s this doing in the first Sonic game?”,

And I was like, “Stop that, you sound like a twelve-year-old English class failure”.

Oh, wait.

anyway, then I notice something off, the background was the dark cloudy sky of the Bad Stardust Speedway level from Sonic CD,

I am not sure what I should be more disturbed by- the fact that the author finds nothing wrong with his insertion character being so obsessed with the franchise that he can recognize by sight backgrounds from other Sonic games… or that the most terrifying, out-of-place, foreboding thing the author himself can think of… is a background from another Sonic game.”

Also, A Tense Narrative Counter: 10

and there were only three save files. The music was that creepy Caverns of Winter music from Earthbound,

Hey, you got your Earthbound in my shitty Sonic ghost story!

You got your shitty Sonic ghost story in my Earthbound!

So I guess we’ve reached a whole new level of blatantly ripping shit off now? He can’t even describe the music as “dissonant” or “foreboding” or something, he has to just tell us to go on the Internet and look up a pre-existing piece of music from a completely unrelated game.

only it was extended and seemed to have been in reverse.

Wait, what? If it was in reverse, how did Idiot Me recognize that it was a song from another game?

Well, he actually said it only seemed to have been in reverse. Meaning that it somehow implied that it was reversed at some point in the past and then returned to its normal sequence… only not really.”

Incredible. The wishy-washy narration actually cancels out the gaps in logic!

And the image for the save file where you see a preview of the level you’re on is just red static for all three files.

Why is it suddenly second person?”

Oh Gog, the ‘fic really does know who I am!

A Tense Narrative Counter: 11

What freaked me out more was the character select, it showed only Tails, Knuckles and to my surprise, Dr. Robotnik! Now I was sure that something was up, I mean, how can you play as Robotnik in a classic Sonic game, for crying out loud?

“Clearly this must be the work of the supernatural!”

A Tense Narrative Counter: 12

That’s when I realized that this wasn’t a glitchy game, it was a hacked game.

Oh, THE HORROR!

Yeah it definitely looked hacked, it was really creepy, but as a smart gamer, I wasn’t scared (or at least I tried not to be), I told myself that it was just a hacked game and there’s nothing wrong with that. Anyways, shaking off the creeped out feeling I picked File 1 and chose Tails and when I selected and got started.

That last bit was not a sentence.”

The game froze for about 5 seconds and I heard a creepy pixelated laugh

How does one hear pixels?”

I don’t know, but this ‘fic certainly sounds like garbage.

I wonder if the game had chiptune graphics, too.”

that sounded an awful lot like that Kefka guy from Final Fantasy before cutting to black.

*Unloads a full battery of charged Tau Cannon blasts at the ‘fic.*

Stop!

RIPPING!

THINGS!

OFF!!!

The screen stayed black for about 10 seconds or more, then it showed the typical level title thing,

Yeah, you know, that thing! The one that does the stuff!

except the simplistic shapes were different shades of red and the text showed only “HILL, ACT 1”.

With the cant of the ‘fic so far, I’m surprised the author didn’t have it read ‘HELL, ACT 1′.”

Well, it’s always possible that JC’s exactly as shallow as we think, but also just can’t spell.

Probably.”

The screen faded in and the level title vanished revealing Tails in the Green Hill Zone from Sonic 1, the music was different though, it sounded like a peaceful melody in reverse.

Again, if it was in reverse how could Idiot Me tell what it was?

Anyway I started playing and had Tails start running like you would in any of the classic Sonic games, what was odd was that as Tails was running along the level there was nothing but flat ground and a few trees for 5 minutes,

Wow, it’s like I can actually feel the boredom.”

Oh, wait, I can.”

that was when the peaceful music started to lower down into slow deep tones very slowly as I kept going.

I suddenly saw something and I stopped to see what it was; it was one of the small animals lying dead on the ground bleeding

Was… was that a properly-used semicolon?

(That was when the music started to slow down), Tails had a shocked and saddened look on his face that I never saw him have before, so I had him move along, and he kept that worried look on his face.

Aaaand he goes and ruins it with a comma splice and that hideous parenthetical.

As he kept moving I saw more dead animals as Tails moved past them looking more and more worried as the music lowers and he moves past more dead animals,

*ALARM BLARES*

*ALARM BLARES*

A Tense Narrative Counter: 14

*ALARM BLARES*

*A profound silence settles over RIFFCON for five minutes, then ten.*

What, no DRD? That was a 2x3fold redundancy and everything!

I imagine they figure having to read Sonic.exe is more than punishment enough.”

I was shocked to see how they all died, they looked like somebody killed them in rather gruesome ways; a squirrel was hanged on a tree with what appeared to be his entrails hanging out, a bunny had all four of his limbs torn off and a duck had his eyes gouged out and his throat slit.

How can you even tell this from pixel graphics like the ones in the opening picture?”

Also, meet Creepypasta Cliche #192: Pointless gore, especially hyper-realistic pointless gore, is the scariest thing there is.

I felt sick to my stomach when I saw this massacre and apparently so did Tails.

HOW. CAN. I. TELL?!

After a few more seconds there were no more animals and the music seemed to have stopped, I still kept Tails to continue.

Still not a sentence…

After a minute passed after the music stopped, Tails was running up a hill and then he stopped, it wasn’t until I saw why; Sonic was there on the other side of the screen with his back against Tails with his eyes closed.

I’m not really sure how that works spatially… or syntactically, for that matter.

Tails looked happy to see Sonic but then his smile faltered, obviously noticing that Sonic wasn’t responding to him,

Oh, please oh please don’t turn into that sort of ‘fic…”

if not acting as if he was totally oblivious of Tails’ presence. Tails walked slowly toward Sonic, and I noticed that I wasn’t even moving my keyboard to make him move, so this had to have been a cut scene.

Scaaaaaaaaaaaary…

Suddenly I began to have a growing feel of dread as Tails walked closer to Sonic to get his attention, I felt that Tails was in danger and something bad was going to happen.

Something bad happens every time JC-The-Hyena starts up his word processor.”

I heard faint static growing louder as Tails was but inches away from Sonic and stopped and stuck his hand out to touch him.

Dammit, Tails, don’t go poking the Demonhog!

That foreboding feeling in my gut was growing stronger and I felt the urge to tell Tails to get away from Sonic as the static grew louder.

Suddenly in a split second I saw Sonic’s eyes open and they were black with those red glowing dots, just like that title image, thought there wasn’t a smile.

You know, if it wasn’t for this story’s age, all this nonsense about laser-pointer eyes would have me suspecting that in addition to everything else it was ripping off Five Nights At Freddies’.

Actually, given the story’s age, it is entirely possible that Five Nights At Freddies’ is ripping off Sonic.exe.

When that happened the screen turned black and the static sound was off.

It stayed black for about 7 seconds

But not, you know, ten or anything.

and then white text appeared forming a message, saying, “Hello. Do you want to play with me?”

Sure!

*Twirls the fully-charged rotary power cells on his Tau Cannon.*

How about a little Russian Roulette!

At this point I was creeped out, I didn’t want to continue with the game, but my curiosity got the better of me when I was taken to a different level with the level title now saying “HIDE AND SEEK”.

This time I was in the Angel Island level from Sonic 3 and it looked like everything was on fire.

This place, apparently. Except, you know, flamey.

This place, apparently. Except, you know, flamey.

Tails looked as though he was scared out of his wits this time. He actually looked at me and made frantic gestures to me as if he wanted to get out of the area he was in as fast as possible. I was starting to get freaked out by this…I mean Tails was actually breaking the fourth wall, trying to tell me to get him out of there.

And Idiot You is starting to believe that a video game character is actually a living being. Really, to be at all frightening, this story requires the reader to have an extremely limited grip on the boundary between fantasy and reality.”

So I pressed down on the arrow key as hard as I could and made him run as fast as he could,

That’s not how keyboards work

a pixelated version of that creepy theme when you meet Shadow at the ARK as Robotnik from SA2 was playing

Wow, synaesthesia and blatant, unimaginative ripoff times two combo!!

as I made Tails trek through the desolate forest, trying to help him escape from whatever he was trying to run from.

Suddenly I heard that creepy laugh again… that awful, Kefka laugh…

That awful, unimaginative writing…”

right after 10 seconds have passed as I helped Tails run through the forest,

I’m glad to see that Idiot Me thought to carry a stopwatch while gaming (which is actually something Regular Me would do!)- I’ve gone from giving “approximate” times with unrealistic numbers of significant digits, to actually reading them out for us exactly.

Also, you’re using digits in the narrative text.”

A Tense Narrative Counter: About 16.000000

and then I started seeing flashes of Sonic popping everywhere on the screen, again with those black and red eyes.

The music changed to that suspenseful drowning jingle

Whatever that is…”

Usually the story’s weird specificity in giving the name of the game it’s ripping off allows me to find these things with Google even when I’m not actually at all familiar with them, but I’ve got nothing here.

as I see Sonic behind Tails slowly gaining up on him FLYING; Sonic wasn’t running, he was actually FLYING!

You know, I was originally going to refrain from riffing this story, not because I thought it was any good (as Love of a Spartan had almost fooled me into believing) but because given the author’s vast reserves of knowledge about the Sonic franchise and his odd tendency to treat deviations from the canon as the most horrible thing that could happen, I was beginning to suspect that he might in fact simply be severely autistic.

However, I did decide to go through with it for two reasons- one, the author’s other posts and material, while awful, don’t have the same obsessive Sonicism that I would expect of someone who was genuinely incapable of writing about anything else, but also because the story has a major following among- and several spinoffs written by– apparently completely neurotypical people. So I’ve concluded that no, JC-The-Hyena does not have any sort of mental disorder… he’s just so lazy and uncreative that he gives every indication of such.

The flying pose his sprite was making looked very similar to Metal Sonic’s flying pose in Sonic CD, except it was just Sonic and he had the black and red eyes again, only

THIS time he had the most deranged looking grin on his face, he looked as though he was enjoying the torment he was giving the poor little fox as he gained up on him.

I actually had to go back to the site I got this from and check, but indeed this was not a mistake I made in copypasting chunks of the ‘fic into OpenOffice- it actually is paragraphed like that.

Also, comma splices and ripping things off.”

Suddenly when Tails tripped (another cut scene) the music stopped and Sonic vanished. Tails laid there and started crying for 15 seconds. The scene was rather upsetting to watch and I kind of teared up myself.

Wow. I really hope that Idiot Me never finds any Rule 34 Sonic art- he’d need lifetime counseling.

And he might try to write a story about it.”

But then Sonic appeared right in front of Tails and Tails looked up in horror.

Blood started to come down those blackened eyes of Sonic’s as a grin slowly grew from his face

Ok, finally, a legitimate eldritch abomination. It’s that ambulatory smile from From Another World again!

as he looked down at the horrified fox, I could do nothing but watch.

Well, you could always turn the computer off.”

Or kill the game through Task Manager.

Or just leave it running and get something to eat…”

Or read a better story.

Just in a split second Sonic lunged at Tails right before the screen went black, there was a loud screeching noise that only lasted 5 seconds.

That seems like a reasonably long time to me

Also, stop mashing your sentences together.”

The text returned only this time it said “You’re too slow, want to try again?” and then that god-awful laugh came with it.

And that god-awful writing had never gone away.

I was so shocked by what had happened…did Sonic murder Tails? No, he couldn’t have… He and Tails are supposed to be best friends, right? Why did Sonic do that to him?

Because he’s a collection of sprites and rudimentary AI acting out scripted instructions in a hacked game?”

HERETIC!

I shook the shock off as I was brought back to the character select, the save file that had Tails was different; Tails was no longer in the box itself but in the TV screen itself, which was flickering with that red static,

And this is supposed to be important… how?

Tails’ expression scared me, his eyes were black and bleeding, his orange fur had gone black and he had an expression of anguish on his face,

It took me a couple of read-throughs to realize that this was supposed to represent Tails being tortured by Sonic inside the save-game box (yes, really!). The first few times I read it, I assumed that since Tails had been recolored and given the same oh-so-creepy eyes as Sonic, it meant Sonic had turned him evil.

Trying to ignore it I picked Knuckles next.

The laugh came again and the screen cut to black again and stayed there for another 10 seconds,

AGAIN.

this time the level said “YOU CAN’T RUN”.

I was really freaked out by now, I couldn’t really tell if this was a glitch, or a hack, or some kind of sick twisted joke… or anything really.

What, the story? Yeah, I know exactly how you feel.”

But despite my fear of what happened next, I kept playing.

The next level looked much different, it had the ground of the Scrap Brain zone,

This, apparently.

This, apparently.

but the sky background looked like the main menu; it had the dark reddish cloudy sky. But it was the music that creeped me out the most: It sounded like Giygas’ theme right after you beat Pokey in Earthbound.

At this point, should we just mark the ‘fic as an Earthbound-Sonic crossover and call it a day?”

I also noticed that Knuckles looked afraid just like Tails did, though not as much, more rather he looked a little unnerved.

So, not like Tails very much at all.”

He broke the fourth wall just like Tails and looked as if he wasn’t sure about going on, but I made him move anyway.

Asshole.

He ran down the straight pathway in this dark level, and as he did the screen started to flicker red static a couple times and then that maddening laugh came again.

Then after a few seconds of running I notice several bloodstains on the metallic ground, I felt a growing sense of fear again thinking something horrible is going to happen to Knuckles. He looked nauseated walking down this blood-stained road, but I still kept him going.

A Tense Narrative Counter: 20

Suddenly as Knuckles ran, Sonic appeared right in front of him with those black and red eyes and then red static appeared again, when the static vanished showing nothing but black screen with text saying “FOuNd YOu!”, I was now scared, Sonic found Knuckles already?! What was going on?!

That…

Yes. That was all one sentence.”

Anyway red static came again and then I was back to the level,

You know, all of this “coming” at the beginning of paragraphs is getting increasingly difficult to ignore.

I really, really hope that the author did not write this particular story with only one claw.”

Knuckles looked like he was panicking, and Sonic was nowhere to be found. And this time that high-pitched squealing from the Silent Hill 1’s final boss was playing.

Oh, goodie! Another one for the ripoff pile!

Also, the Silent Hill 1? Are there other Silent Hill 1s that we need to disambiguate against?”

Was this some kind of boss battle with Sonic? I hoped to God it wasn’t, honestly.

Suddenly Sonic appeared right behind Knuckles in what appeared to be pixelated black smoke,

Finally, a proper use of the word!”

Even if it is wrapped in more wishy-washy narration.

I made Knuckles turn and then punch Sonic, but Sonic vanished in black pixelated smoke before I could even land a hit, that terrible laugh went off again.

First it’s coming, now it’s going off.

I really don’t want to think about the implications.

Then Sonic appeared behind Knuckles again and then I made him punch again, and Sonic vanished again laughing.

Hellooooo, cutscene incompetence.

As if they’re any more competent otherwise.”

Knuckles was panicking even more, and even I felt like I was going crazy, Sonic was practically playing with us, he was playing a sick twisted little mind game with me and Knuckles…

Another cut scene played as Knuckled fell to his knees and clutched his head sobbing, I felt his agony, Sonic was actually driving us BOTH crazy.

Wow.”

Ok, either we’ve gotten to the first actual supernatural element in this ghost story (three quarters of the way through!!!) or Idiot Me really does have some serious issues understanding the idea of a fictional game.

And then in a split second Sonic lunged at Knuckles and the screen went black with another distorted screeching noise that lasted for at least 3 seconds.

Another text message appeared, “So many souls to play with, so little time… would you agree?”

No.

What the hell… Just what is going on? I started to think Sonic was actually trying to talk to me through the game… But I was too scared to think that.

Also, I didn’t think it because it’s immensely stupid.

A Tense Narrative Counter: 22

I was brought back to the main menu and this time the second file box had Knuckles in the TV screen, his red fur had darkened to a reddish grey, his dreadlocks were dripping with blood and his eyes were black and bleeding too, and he had a look of sadness on his face. I began to think that those are the actual characters trapped in those TV screens on the save files, but I couldn’t believe it… I didn’t want to believe it…

Then don’t! There’s zero evidence for it, just a hacked game that anyone could have made (indeed, after the ‘fic went viral, a lot of people did make hacks that demonstrated the same properties).

Also, what exactly is an ‘actual character’? And are they more or less real than a ‘fictional person’?”

So I shut off the game and took a break.

Oh.

Well…

Hrm.

I really wasn’t expecting characters in a horror story to actually demonstrate good sense…”

I took a nap, wish I hadn’t, ’cause I then began to have the most disturbing nightmare, I was in pitch black darkness,

As opposed to what, sky-blue darkness?

Knowing the ‘fic, probably hyper-realistic blood-red darkness.”

though I was under the light given off by a lamp that hung high above my head. I could hear the cries of Knuckles and Tails nearby. They were saying stuff like, “Help us…” and “Why did you give us to him?” and “Run away, before he gets you too…”

Their cries died out as I then heard Sonic laugh, his laugh… it sounded a lot like the distorted Kefka laugh.

“You’re a lot fun to play with kid, just like your friend Kyle, though he didn’t last long…”

He came right away.

I was scared and looking around for the source of the voice…

“Won’t be long now until you join him and all my other friends…”

I saw him walking toward me, flickering in and out in several directions…

Not sure how that works spatially, but OK?

“You can’t run, kid. You’re in my world now. Just like the others…”

Soon you, too will end all your sentences with ellipses…”

When he grabbed me and I saw his bleeding black and red-eyed, grinning face, I woke up with a fright.

After a couple of hours I decided to continue playing the game.

So what was that about actually demonstrating good sense?

Never mind.”

I don’t know why, but I had to know, I had to figure out why this was happening… So I turned on the computer, turned on the game and selected Robotnik next.

Third verse, same as the second?

Probably.”

I still thought that was wacky, playing as Robotnik, but anyway the level title appeared again and this time it said “…”, which I found really freaky.

This time I was in some kind of hallway, didn’t really look like it was from any of the classic Sonic games,

Well, this is a first!

though it has the pixelated style; the floor was shiny and checkered, the walls were a dark greyish purple with animated candlelight’s and a few dark bloodstains here and there, and there was a dark red curtain hanging above on the top part of the screen. Every 12 seconds or so that red curtain sways very slowly, but whenever you’re playing the game you can barely see it move.

And there’s actual description, too. Even if the times are still strangely specific, this is still head-and-shoulders above basically everything else we’ve read.”

A Tense Narrative Counter: Still 23, though.

The music was oddly pleasant, a piano playing a rather sad yet peaceful song, but I knew better, this was the song that played in Hill act 1, only it wasn’t in reverse.

Robotnik didn’t look entirely nervous like Tails and Knuckles did, but he did have a suspicious look on his face as if he was just a bit paranoid. He did a little animation when I just left him standing, he turns his head to the left and then to the right at least twice and then shrugs at me, as if he has no idea where he was or what was going on.

I know exactly how he feels.

Even though I was scared outta my mind about what was going to happen, I had Robotnik continue onward. He did his usual running animation (You know, when you’ve beaten him at the end of a classic Sonic game and you chase him) as we continued going through the hallway.

Then I stop at a long flight of stairs leading downward, now I was nervous, even Robotnik seemed unsure of himself, though I pressed onward.

A Tense Narrative Counter: 28

As I led Robotnik down the stairs, I noticed that the walls have gotten darker and more reddish; the red torches are now an eerie blue. Then we landed onto another hallway, this one was longer than the last one (or at least it felt like it) and then we headed down another flight of stairs down, this one was much longer, took at least 1 full minute.

A Tense Narrative Counter: 30

And then I heard that horrid Kefka laugh again and then the music slowly faded until it was quiet, as it did the walls turned more dark red and the torches were a black flame now.

Oh, Spirits… he’s found the passageway into MY IMMORTAL!”

When Robotnik landed onto the 3rd hallway, I noticed he now looked really creeped out, though he tried to hide it, I couldn’t blame him, I was scared too.

Suddenly, Sonic popped right in front of Robotnik the same way he did Knuckles and then red static. The red static lasted for about 15 second and then it showed me a most unpleasant image…

The image showed a hyper-realistic of Sonic standing in the darkness where you can only see his face while his head and torso faded into black, and when I say hyper-realistic, I mean like he looked so real you could actually see the lines in his blue fur, as if you could actually feel the fur if you touched the screen.

As a side note, ‘hyper-realism‘ is a legitimate artistic discipline that, while somewhat confusing in its approach, focuses on exemplifying the anomalies that set digital images apart from reality (which is why it is usually used only to refer to painting and sculpture, as these are not actually digital images to begin with). To say that your monster’s head -and I use the term “monster” very loosely- looked hyper-realistic indicates that it was, in fact, clearly digital in nature.”

His face…oh god, he had the most horrifying smile I had ever seen.

And that’s saying something considering I saw that image at the start of the game.

Weren’t they the same image?

His eyes are wide and black and once again crying blood (Which also looked hyper-realistic) and there were two small glowing red dots in those black eyes staring RIGHT AT ME, as if staring into my mind. His grin was wide and demonic, it literally stretched to the sides of his face like a Cheshire Cat except Sonic had fangs, VERY SHARP fangs, much like the Werehog’s teeth

Sakai…”

Yes?

Are you absolutely sure this author is serious?”

Yep.

Well, mostly.

Well, I’m pretty sure…

Look, I know that most of his fans are serious, and that’s more than bad enough.

except more vicious-looking, somewhat yellowish and from the look of it, he had stains of blood and small bits of flesh on his lips and fangs as if he ate some animal.

I stared at that gruesome image for a good 30 seconds, never taking my eyes off it, I felt as if he was actually looking at me, smiling at me…that face, it just took 10 seconds for it to etch itself into my brain for good.

Then why did I keep staring at it for thirty?

Then the screen flickered with red static again 3 times, and on the 3rd time I heard the Kefka laugh, except this time it sounded distorted, demonic even…

Wasn’t it already distorted?”

Hey, if I was writing basically the same sequence of events three times in a row, I’d be losing track too.

It went back to the image again except this time there was the text again though it was messed up, but it was pretty much one of the most horrifying things I looked at since I had this game…

Well, that’s setting the bar rather low…”

“I AM GOD.”

Yeah, well, I am an atheist, so sucks to be you!

It was when I read that message while looking at Sonic when it hit me, I realized right there and then.

This Sonic was a monster, a pure evil, sadistic, all-powerful, nightmarish, demented monster… and all of his victims, including Tails, Knuckles, Robotnik and possibly Kyle, are just his little toys, and the game is the very gateway into his chaotic, nightmarish world and the very Hell his victims are trapped in.

Well that’s… quite a leap of logic. Also, would you mind passing me the melodramamine?

Sure, but I think the ‘fic turned it all bloody and hyper-realistic.”

At this point, I don’t care.

Suddenly in an actual split second I screamed as Sonic lunged at the screen

What exactly is an actual split second? Is there such thing as a fictional split second?”

screeching loudly with his mouth wide open to an unnatural length revealing nothing but a literally spiraling abyss of pure darkness before the red static came again, this time much louder and distorted, so loud that it hurt my ears, I yelled and grabbed my ears as the red static screeched for a good 7 seconds.

And that was, again, another paragraph-long “sentence”.

Then it stopped and showed nothing but black screen.

As I sat there staring at the black screen, one last text came up.

“Ready for Round 2, Tom?”

Let me think about it for a moment.

No.

The Kefka laugh, now sounding more clear as if Sonic was right behind me, played again 3 times as I looked at that text in shock and confusion.

Then I got booted back to the main menu and this time the third save file had a TV image of Robotnik in the same, tormented state as Tails and Knuckles; Robotnik’s skin turned a dull grey, his mustache drooped and had blackened, his glasses broke and blood is coming from them and he had a mere dead like expression on his face.

Whatever the heck that is.

I looked at Tails, Knuckles and Robotnik and I cried a bit,

And the really sad part is, I bet you could take this guy to the mass graves in Fallujah and he wouldn’t shed a tear.

Who, the author or the narrator?”

Yes.

I pitied them for the agony they’re going through, they were forever trapped within the game, forever tormented by that horrid hedgehog,

‘That horrid hedgehog’?!

That ominous omnivore! That evil, execrable Erinacine!”

and always will be.

Then the computer shut itself off, I couldn’t turn it back on no matter what I did.

I sat there for maybe 25 seconds,

But not thirty. Definitely nowhere near thirty.

horrified by what had just happened…

Sonic is the very embodiment of evil,

You know what?

After reading this pile of nonsense, I’m inclined to agree.

he tortures people who play his game in more ways than one and then when he gets bored he drags you into the game, literally drags you to Hell, where he can play with you always, as his toy….

I can’t get the game outta my computer. I think it’s stuck in there,

Ok, try this:

First off: Find a paper clip

Second: Straighten it out

Third: Push the clip into the little hole under the CD drive until the tray pops out

Fourth, and this is the most important step:

STOP WASTING EVERYONE’S GODDAMN TIME WITH YOUR/MY INCOMPETENCE

but at least I managed to turn it back on now.

Ok… assuming all of this is true, which is a massive leap of logic in its own right…

WHY IN HEAVEN, HELL, OR EARTH WOULD I TRY TO TURN A COMPUTER WITH A SUPERNATURAL TORTUREDISC INSIDE IT BACK ON?

After I sat there for 25 seconds I heard a voice right behind me, like a whisper…

“Try to keep this interesting for me, Tom.”

You first, JC.

I turned around to see where the voice came from, and what I saw made me scream…

Sitting on my bed… staring right at me…

… Was a Sonic plushie, smiling with bloodstains under its eyes.

A…. a plushie! NO! IT’S TOO SOFT! AND CHILDISHLY AFFECTIONATE! THE HORROR!

VIOWER EXCRETION IS ADVISD

VIOWER EXCRETION IS ADVISD

Wait… is that it? Is that the end?!”

Yep. That’s it. That’s Sonic.exe. It’s not just poorly-written, or poorly-thought-through, or poorly-paced, it’s broken on basically every level. Because, well, say that JC-The-Hyena actually proofread this, and got rid of the tense swaps and weird references to other games. Then say that he went and reworked the story so that instead of watching video game characters we don’t really care about meet basically the same gothy, hyper-realistic fate three times in a row, something legitimately supernatural and scary happened. I still don’t think this story would work- because at the basic core of what it is, it is a story about a haunted Sonic game. And Sonic games are inherently unscary.

Hopefully soon, I’ll be back with more Love of a Spartan, but before I go I’d like to give a quick shoutout to the current home of Sonic.exe- the Trollpasta Wiki. In addition to hosting the worst of the worst from Creepypasta Wiki in their “Deletion Log Refugees” category, they post a fair number of their own stories- and while a lot of those try way too hard to be off-the-wall and wacky, there are some real gems buried in there if you bother to look.

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62 Comments on “1442: Sonic.exe – One Shot”

  1. ShadowyEdgeBorgir says:

    I SEE NO HEAR NO EVIL

  2. GrandBorgir says:

    that suspenseful drowning jingle

    Oh, right, lemme help you out with finding that one:

  3. Herr Wozzeck says:

    I was playing Sonic Unleashed (I liked how you get to explore the towns in it)

    So he was playing it on either PS3 or Xbox 360, then. I played Unleashed on the Wii and it did not have those towns, so that’s why I bring it up.

  4. Herr Wozzeck says:

    Tom?? Oh, shit, the story knows my name!

    Wait, for real?

  5. Herr Wozzeck says:

    I was rather disturbed about that image when I saw it, though I figured that it was just a glitch and forgot about it.

    Phelous of Channel Awesome fame would have a field day with this shit.

  6. Herr Wozzeck says:

    “Why is it suddenly second person?”

    Oh Gog, the ‘fic really does know who I am!

    I doubt that. I mean, your don’t have any blithering idiocy that is the only thing keeping the plot going, right?

  7. Herr Wozzeck says:

    but as a smart gamer,

    *headdesk*

    Dude, Kyle told you to destroy the disc, there was everything you’ve seen so far… if you were really smart, you’d have deleted the file and destroyed the disc like Kyle fucking told you to, dumbass!

    • AdmiralSakai says:

      No, if I was actually smart I would have checked the contents of the disk without executing it, then if it gave my any reason to believe that it was something other than a poorly-thought-through prank I would have called or texted Kyle and inquired as to his mental state.

      • DasCheesenBorgir says:

        idk… do you think one of those ROM corruptors would just make things worse with the whole implied supernatural shit going on? Just gotta wonder if it’d be compatible with heretical demon-code

        It’d prolly all be encoded in senary or some shit now that I think of it

      • AdmiralSakai says:

        Then again, assuming I survived I’d probably get a Turing Award out of it.

  8. Herr Wozzeck says:

    creepy pixelated laugh

    That’s one hell of a way to describe 16-bit sound. I would’ve said “a highly processed sound that sounded like a laugh”.

  9. Herr Wozzeck says:

    Tails walked slowly toward Sonic, and I noticed that I wasn’t even moving my keyboard to make him move, so this had to have been a cut scene.

    You know, for a 16-bit game, he does sure seem to love describing it as if it were a modern-day Triple-A title.

  10. Herr Wozzeck says:

    This place, apparently. Except, you know, flamey.

    Which is hilarious, because Eggman lights the whole stage on fire in Act 2 of the Angel Island Zone. So that already exists, and…

    God, how did this become popular, again?

    • AdmiralSakai says:

      I couldn’t actually find any images of the flamey version on GIS, so I made the mistake of assuming the author had actually done something slightly original.

      I guess I really am dumb enough to play Sonic.exe, then. I should know by now that creepypasta are never original.

  11. Herr Wozzeck says:

    The music changed to that suspenseful drowning jingle

    This:

    It still haunts the nightmares of any Sonic fan who played the older games to this day.

  12. Herr Wozzeck says:

    Ok, try this:

    First off: Find a paper clip

    Second: Straighten it out

    Third: Push the clip into the little hole under the CD drive until the tray pops out

    Fourth, and this is the most important step:

    STOP WASTING EVERYONE’S GODDAMN TIME WITH YOUR/MY INCOMPETENCE

    But Sakai, we wouldn’t have a story without his blithering incompetence!

  13. Herr Wozzeck says:

    Okay, so I checked the link that leads to the fic, and saw the author’s to the response when it got kicked off the creepypasta wiki.

    Holy shit, what an entitled fuck… Almost reminds me of a certain furry author who shouldn’t be named here who caused me to nearly break my foot this past Thursday.

    • AdmiralSakai says:

      Oh my Gog, that rant…

      Before I found out this guy has posted other things and actually has a real online presence behind him, the sheer hyperbole of that rant had me 99% convinced that the entire “sonic.eve” fandom was just a blatant trolling attempt that got way out of control and JC subsequently ran with.

  14. AdmiralSakai says:

    I think it bears repeating that until the plushie materializes at the very end, absolutely nothing supernatural happens throughout this so-called “haunting”. Idiot Me just gets a weird message from Kyle, plays a weird game, and then has a dream about it. Even assuming that Kyle didn’t just write “Tom” into the game knowing that I would be the one to play it, it’s ridiculously easy to make software that “knows your name” simply by checking the user’s login information.

    • Herr Wozzeck says:

      Also true, as evidenced by Spec Ops: The Line. Which uses your username for one very important point it makes in the game’s opening credits.

  15. BatJamags says:

    Kyle wrote a surprisingly long-winded note for a man being hunted by an evil video game character.

  16. BatJamags says:

    OH god, it’s SWEET bro AND hella jeff random CAPSLOCK!

    Do not insult such a masterpiece by comparing it to this story.

  17. BatJamags says:

    except it looked hyper-realistic.

    “Hyper-realistic?” The hell does that even mean? Is it more realistic than actual reality?

    I’m serious, this is some metaphysical shit right here.

  18. BatJamags says:

    … Was a Sonic plushie, smiling with bloodstains under its eyes.

    AND THEN A SKELETON POPPED OUT

  19. infinity421 says:

    I’m not quite sure how this story used to scare me.

  20. TacoMagic says:

    “It turned into the comments list for Sonic.exe?”

  21. TacoMagic says:

    Scaaaaaaaaaaaary…

  22. Suddenly, Sonic popped right in front of Robotnik the same way he did Knuckles and then red static.

    I didn’t catch this the first time I read through, but it looks like Demonic the Hedgehog’s evil was so great it destroyed the tail end of.

  23. TacoMagic says:

    I was in pitch black darkness, though I was under the light given off by a lamp that hung high above my head

    Suddenly, and from behind, a random Film Noir trope!

  24. TacoMagic says:

    The music was oddly pleasant, a piano playing a rather sad yet peaceful song, but I knew better, this was the song that played in Hill act 1, only it wasn’t in reverse.

    What is it with you and backwards music? What is it about music backwards you find so frightening!?

  25. TacoMagic says:

    Suddenly in an actual split second I screamed as Sonic lunged at the screen

    How many of those are in a New York Minute? Do I have time to go get another coffee?

  26. AdmiralSakai says:

    Hey, since this story seems to have been so well-received, what would people think about my doing a few Creepypastas that don’t have a pre-existing fictional work associated with them? That’s getting a little bit farther away from the tagline “the most horrible fanfiction ever penned”, but some of the truly awful ones are not set around a pre-existing game or TV show and they very much deserve to be taken down hard.

    I was thinking in particular of Jeff the Killer and its horrible, horrible spawn.

    • BatJamags says:

      Well, the non-original Jeff the Killer stories are technically fanfiction of the original, so those should count. That said, I would like to see good ol’ OMINOUS UNKNOWN get torn apart.

  27. […] Tangled: Alternative Story Tensei II Christmas Eve Everyone Likes Chocolate Terminator: Robot Storm Sonic.exe Call of Retribution Big Hero 6 stay at Five Night’s at Freddy’s truth or dare suprise […]

  28. "Lyle" says:

    He broke the fourth wall just like Tails and looked as if he wasn’t sure about going on, but I made him move anyway.

    Asshole.

    That pretty much sums up this entire thing: Asshole gets game that any normal person would have stopped playing after the start screen wigged the fuck out, and continues to play it despite acknowledging that it was morally questionable.


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