1427: Sorry! – Oneshot

Title: Sorry!
Author: Ami Rawr Needs A Cookie
Media: Film
Topic: Frozen
Genre: none given
URL:  Chapter 1
Critiqued by Ghostcat

Hello, Patrons!

I’m here with a short little oneshot from the Frozen section of ff.net. And it’s a Reader fic! Those are always fun.

The fic starts off with a handy little key at the top;

Key
(Y/N) = Your name
(F/C) = Favorite color
(H/C) = Hair color
(S/C) = Skin color
(E/C) = Eye color

I think that’s all the basics. Well that’s all, you may continue if you wish

On one hand, this is helpful for anyone in the audience who is unfamiliar with the shorthand used in Reader fics. On the other hand, the use of the shorthand in general gives the fic a sort of “Mad Libs” vibe.

Sorry!

And there’s the title. Not really necessary since I had to click on the fic’s title in order to read it in the first place.

(Elsa x Girl! Reader)

Yay! I’m so happy I’m not a pumpkin!

There’s a sentence to add to my list of things I’d never thought I’d type.

I will say that I do prefer Reader fics that give the audience a defined gender over those that try to remain gender-neutral, since that usually leads to some very awkward phrasing.

(Y/N) stumbled her way through the crowd of the townspeople of Arendelle.

Not that this fic doesn’t have awkward phrasing.

The girl tripped over her own two feet and landed on the ground with a low oof!

Oh, dear. :blows silent ninja whistle:

:ninja appears:

Shinobi-san, you’d better deliver a pie of calming to Herr.

:ninja vanishes:

(Y/N) slowly picked herself up and wiped the dirt off her (F/C) dress.

Why does it have to be my favorite color? My favorite color is blue, but I have lots of clothes in different colors because I don’t feel the need to look like I hang out with Rainbow Brite in my spare time.

She glanced around quickly to make sure no one saw and then continued her way to find her little brother.

Wait, I thought I was in a crowd of people? This section of the Void should be densely packed, I was having to force my way through a second ago. How could no one see me fall down?

(Y/N) peeked around heads to locate her brother.

I HAVE A BROTHER?!?!?

Did my parents adopt a male cat? They already have a female cat they refer to as my little sister.

‘Oh, I hope I find him soon, I believe mother wanted me home with him for dinner!’

Am I a cannibal? Because it sort of looks like we’re having my brother for dinner.

(Y/N) thought as she noticed a spot in the crowd with no one in it. ‘He’s short-ish, maybe he’s there.’

Or maybe there’s a pile of horseshit in the street, or an open manhole, or someone’s passed-out drunk. And if it’s so crowded that all I can see are vague gaps at head-level, how is it no one saw me trip before? How did I even trip? The press of people wouldn’t have given me enough room to fall like that, I should have hit someone before I reached the ground.

The girl made her way to the spot. No one was there. (Y/N) groaned. She was never going to find him at this rate!

I am just a Little Miss Whinybritches, aren’t I?

‘Might as well keep looking.’ The girl thought.

Is there another option? If I go home without him, I’m going to have to answer some very awkward questions from my parents.

She was so lost in thought that she failed to see the ice that coated the concrete.

Is this unusual for whatever time of year and climate I live in? :looks around: I can’t really tell what the weather’s like in this part of the Void.

The girl gave a squeak as she felt her footing slip from under her as she fell to the ground.

I think I just collapsed from the weight of the awkwardness in these sentences.

“Ouchiee,” (Y/N) whined as she rubbed his now sore butt.

Wow. The fall was apparently severe enough to change my gender. I didn’t even know that could happen.

A boy came whizzing by on the ice giggling.

Ewww! Is that what this ice is?!?

‘Was that-?’ The (tall/short) girl’s suspicions were confirmed as the boy came by again, this time sticking his tongue out at her.

Apparently I exist in a state of perceptual inconstancy where I am both tall and short at the same time.

“Come and get me, (Y/N)!” Steven, (Y/N)’s little brother shouted with a gleam in his eyes as he slid away on the ice.

Where the hell did the massive crowd of people go? And this is an icy patch of concrete, not a frickin’ skating rink!

“Steven, no-!”

You’ll fall down and … Wait, this is perfect! I’ll finally get a little sister that doesn’t have a tail.

“Why are you too chicken?”

I don’t know, why am I too chicken? Did I fall down hard enough to partially change my species?

The boy stopped sliding to look at his sister and he put his hands on his hips now glaring at her.

:covers eyes: Dude! Stop glaring at me with your hips! Brothers and sisters don’t do that here; this isn’t Game of Thrones.

(Y/N) thought about it. She too was always late for dinner as a child.

That is a bald-faced lie; I’ve never been late for a meal. Probably could stand to, though.

‘A little fun before going home could never hurt…’

Unless it involves falling down, which can hurt a lot.

(Y/N) hesitantly shook her head as she carefully stood up on the ice. A grin broke onto the boy’s happy face.

If his face is already happy, wouldn’t he already be grinning or smiling in some fashion?

“Then come get me!” Steven shouted as he raced away on the ice. (Y/N) felt a smile of her own alighting her face as she chased after her brother. The girl giggled as she almost caught up to him, right before she lost her balance and fell.

Steven laughed as he flew past his pouting sister at lightning speed. The boy swirled around a few people but was soon lost from sight.

How frickin’ big is this icy patch on the concrete? It isn’t a rink of some sort, or at least it hasn’t been described as such, and people wouldn’t be walking across it if it was. The big crowd of people, who presumably are walking all over this ice,  would be making it more difficult to slide around in great big swoops.

The (H/C) haired girl chewed on the inside of her cheek and blew her bangs out of her eyes.

I have bangs? Ugh. I look terrible with bangs, I haven’t had them since I was in elementary school.

“Better go find him again,” She said as she stood up careful not to slip again.

I thought I was trying to slip? Or at least slip in a controlled manner.

She stretched, loving the feeling of the sun on her with her eyes closed. Then she stood straight again and went to find her little brother.

I’ve very confused about what I’m doing right now.

(Y/N) looked around everywhere but could not find him! He had simply disappeared from sight-!

Apparently I’m very excited by this prospect.

Out of the corner of her eye, the girl spotted the red of the cloak that Steven had been wearing that day.

Is he not wearing it anymore? Did something happen to my brother? And am I supposed to care? He’s been kind of a jerkass thus far.

“Gotcha!~” The girl whispered as she made her way towards her brother.

Or at least the patch of red that might resemble something my brother was once wearing.

Steven must have seen (Y/N) coming because he picked up his pace and was running on the ice. ‘How can he run like that on this slippery surface?’ (Y/N) thought as she slowly ran towards him, watching her steps.

I think it’s primarily because our author doesn’t understand how ice works.

Because the girl was watching her feet, she did not see who she was running straight into.

I really should watch where I’m going with all this Character Blob around. It’s my own fault, really.

Both girls landed on the ice, one with a squeak, and the other without a sound.

I’m probably the one who squeaked, since I appear to be physically incapable of falling down without making some kind of noise.

(Y/N) sat up from where she lie on the ice. ‘What just happened?’ She thought absentmindedly as she looked at her surroundings.

Damn. I must have hit that other person hard. How fast was I going?

Right in front of her, on the ice, was Queen Elsa. The girl shot up faster that she had ever in her life.

And then I promptly fell down again, because ice.

“I AM SO SORRY!” The girl shouted as she looked down at the dazed queen.

I just assaulted royalty, and in public no less. I think that’s considered treason in most monarchies.

Elsa held her spinning head in her hand.

Dammit! I broke a perfectly good queen.

Finally, the queen’s vision stopped spinning and she rose her head to see just who ran into her.

Anyone else picturing Elsa holding her detached head in her hand and lifting it up while she remains seated?

Elsa observed the girl with curious blue eyes.

I wouldn’t call my eyes curious, just mildly inquisitive.

(Y/N) held out her hand to help Elsa up. “I’m really, really sorry,” the girl said, her own (E/C) eyes pleading forgiveness from the queen. Elsa seemed surprised by the girl’s actions.

I’m surprised by my actions, too. I didn’t know my eyes were so expressive. Or that they can change color.

“It’s quite alright,” Elsa stated, she looked at the hand outstretched to her hesitantly. She still hadn’t gotten used to touching other people.

If this Elsa has the same abilities as the film version, it is probably a bad idea for her to touch another person skin-to-skin. I’m going to wind up a Ghostiecicle.

However, the (H/C) haired girl was very persistent and she pushed her hand closer to the queen.

Now I’m picturing myself standing over Elsa doing that really annoying “I’m not touching you, I’m almost touching you!” thing that all siblings seem to be born knowing how to do.

Elsa slowly put her hand in the other girl’s.

She’s putting her hand where? Do I need to ring the Bad Touch bell?

(Y/N) wrapped her hand tighter around Elsa’s and heaved her up… with a bit too much strength.

Ghostie strong like bull! :thumps chest: Owww.

Elsa almost flew back onto the ice, causing (Y/N) to stumble and land into the queen’s arms.

:head-tilt:

Huh? I pulled her up, but she flew backwards? And I managed to fall down again?

I should go to a doctor and get checked out, I think I might have an inner-ear imbalance.

:ninja appears:

Come near me with those leeches and I will throat-punch you, sensei.

:ninja vanishes:

(Y/N) looked up at Elsa with startled eyes, and a blush. She was very surprised to see Elsa with a blush of her own.

I’m easily surprised by lots of things, aren’t I? I’m also wondering how I managed to fall on top of someone and still manage to look up at them. I guess if my head was somewhere around her abdomen/waist area it would work, but I was standing and pulling her up, so she was already lower than me to begin with, so …

:scribbles on Lyle’s chalkboard for a moment:

I got nuthin’.

“I’m sorry!” The girls said at the same time. (Y/N) retrieved herself from Elsa’s arms and straightened her dress. A blush played on both of the girls’ faces.

Again with the blushing? Is it due to the mildly suggestive phrasing or do I have some sort of underlying heart condition?

Elsa put a hand to her chest, her heart was beating at a unnatural rate, her face a tomato.

:blinks:

Damn. I hit that poor woman hard enough to turn her into a vegetable. (And none of that “it’s technically a fruit” nonsense. If I can’t dip it in chocolate or put it in ice cream, then it isn’t a fruit.)

“T-thanks for helping me up,” Elsa was the first to speak in the awkward silence that placed itself between the two. (Y/N) blushed.

Either I really do have a heart condition, or I’m embarrassed to be this close to such awkward phrasing.

“Any-anytime,” The nervous girl spoke, “Th-thanks for catching me.”

Elsa chuckled as she looked at the girl with an approving grin. “Your welcome.”

Both girls looked at each other and laughed.

:groans:

I am such a dork.

“Weren’t you looking for someone?”

“H-huh?” The younger girl spoke, suddenly broke from her trance from the gorgeous queen.

… Do I have a crush on Elsa?

Could she really be the one who froze everything?

I’m not very bright, am I?

Elsa giggled cutely, making (Y/N) blush.

I had assumed that I was fairly young based on the language used, but now I’m wondering if I’m going through menopause or something. All these hot flashes can’t be good for my blood pressure.

‘I admire too many people.’ The girl thought with disapproval.

Yeah, what was I thinking? People suck.

“I said, weren’t you looking for someone?” Elsa replied with a smirk.

:sets out plate of alfalfa snickerdoodles for Cerbersheep:

“Wha~? Dang it!” (Y/N) facepalmed mentally and physically making Elsa laugh.

I mentally facepalmed while physically facepalming? Why did I do that? One or the other would be enough, but together it feels very redundant.

:alarms blare:

Wait for it…

BAAAAA!

Sometimes it pays to bribe the giant three-headed sheep.

“Perhaps I can help?” Elsa asked as she stepped closer to the girl.

When did we ever stand up? Last I checked, we were sprawled on the ground and I was in Elsa’s lap.

(Y/N) nodded furiously, her bangs bouncing up and down.

Yeah, that’s not going to happen. My hair is very curly, and the shorter it is the curlier it gets. When I did have bangs when I was little, they would curl up so tightly that it looked like a little fleecy poof on the top of my forehead.

“Are you (Y/N)?” Elsa asked, her eyes locked with (Y/N)’s (E/C) ones.

“How did you-?”

That’s creepy. I should walk away before I wind up at the bottom of a dry well rubbing lotion on my skin.

Elsa chuckled. “A boy with a red cloak was talking to me earlier today. He had said something about hiding from his sister named (Y/N) with (H/C) hair and (E/C) eyes.

I guess by “earlier today” Elsa means “about two seconds ago”.

I figured it might be you. The worse that could have happened was the you weren’t (Y/N).” Elsa said with a shrug.

It would be pretty bad if the you wasn’t me, but I think there are worse things that could happen. Getting stuck in a badfic, for example.

“Do you know where he is?” (Y/N) asked.

Come to think of it … I did see the flash of red that was similar in color to the cloak Steven was wearing right before I plowed down Elsa, so she might have seen him run past her. Good question, me!

:gives self a redemption scone:

“He told me that if you came then he could be hiding in his ‘secret hideout.'” Elsa said with a roll of her eyes. “C’mon, I’ll show you,” Elsa motioned (Y/N) to follow and who was she to disobey a queen?

Note to self: never tell Elsa any of my secrets, because she is terrible at keeping them.

(Y/N) followed the older girl through the crowd, soon they were off the ice and walking on non-slippery ground again.

We walked [DISTANCE] and are now at [LOCATION]. That’s super helpful.

Many people tried to get Elsa’s attention, but she shrugged them off and continued her way.

Because monarchs can often be rude and disrespectful towards their subjects with absolutely no repercussions whatsoever.

The two stopped at a hay stack. There were 4 hay stacks in total, all in a square.

:THWACK!:

No numerals in the narration!

Why are there four haystacks so close to a big crowd of people? Are we at the county fair?

“He should be right in there~” Elsa spoke gesturing towards one of the haystacks.

… My brother is a haystack? Has Elsa gone crazy, or have I?

(Y/N) poked a haystack, hitting what felt like a person, in the arm.

Why have I. Suddenly become. Shatner?

Here’s a fun experiment to try at home. First, find a person.

:grabs random intern:

Now, close your eyes and poke your person.

:pokes intern:

Can you tell what part of the person you are poking? Really jab them good and hard.

:repeatedly pokes intern:

“That’s my eye, ma’am.”

Shut it, meat-shield.

With a few exceptions, most of a person will have the same general density so it would be difficult to tell what you are poking just based on the feel of your poke.

:insert obligatory “That’s what she said” joke here:

The haystack giggled and (Y/N) smiled.

So I have gone insane. That’s comforting to know.

“Come on out, Steven. I know you’re in there.” The haystack began to move and out came a grinning boy. Steven stuck his tongue out at (Y/N).

I’m going to assume the author isn’t very familiar with hay. It might look light and fluffy, but it isn’t. A big stack is going to have some weight to it, and that plus gravity is going to compress the bottom layers into a very dense mass. It’s not going to be very easy to hide in. Hay also has a tendency to get everywhere, and itches like crazy. If you’ve ever if you’ve ever mown grass or walked through a freshly-mown lawn and had bits of the cut grass stick all over you, it’s kind of like that only more so.

“Took you a while.”

Clearly Steven is unclear on the concept of hiding from someone.

“Shut up.” (Y/N) whispered.

:whispers: Why am I whispering?

Steven stuck his tongue out one more with a giggle before skipping off towards home.

I hope you enjoyed your mouthful of hay, dumbass.

Elsa smiled as she watched (Y/N). ‘She and her bother must be close…’

:checks hemline: I think my Freudian slip is showing.

(Y/N) turned towards the ice queen and took her hands in her’s.

:squints at fic: Am I holding hands with myself, or is Elsa holding hands with herself? I can’t tell.

“Thank you soooo much for helping me! I better get home before mother gets mad.” (Y/N) released Elsa’s hands and the queen hid a giggle behind her hand.

Hey, Elsa’s a dork, too! She’s perfect for me!

“So I guess I’ll see you around!~” Elsa stated as she turned to leave.

Elsa is the queen of the country; what social circles do I move in that I’d see the queen on a regular basis? Or do I work at the palace as a scull?

(Y/N) did a very daring thing. She laid her lips on the queen’s cheek before running towards home.

That is daring, as well as being another case of assaulting a reigning monarch, as kind of physically impossible. Elsa was facing me, but she turned around to leave before I went in for a kiss – meaning the back of her head was towards me. I just kissed her braid.

“BYE!” The girl shouted as she ran away.

The girl being … Me? Or is it Elsa? We’ve both been referred to as “girl” at various times in the fic.

Elsa put a hand to her cheek and smiled as she shook her head, her thoughts full of the sweet girl.

Oh, so I’m the girl this time.

Does Elsa think I’m sweet like “Awwww, look at the puppy!” sweet, or “Damn, she be fine!” sweet? Since this is a fanfic, I’m going to assume it’s the second. That could be creepy; Elsa is around twenty when she is made queen, and my age was never established so I could be jailbait.

Reviews would be appreciated!

Ask and ye shall receive!

Advertisements

90 Comments on “1427: Sorry! – Oneshot”

  1. BatJamags says:

    Key
    (Y/N) = Your name
    (F/C) = Favorite color
    (H/C) = Hair color
    (S/C) = Skin color
    (E/C) = Eye color

    *Headdesk*

    On the other hand, the use of the shorthand in general gives the fic a sort of “Mad Libs” vibe.

    Ooh!

    Key
    (Y/N) = Whirlybat Von Flubbertybubble
    (F/C) = Sin Black
    (H/C) = You Gotta Have Blue Hair
    (S/C) = Translucent
    (E/C) = Brown

    This is gonna be fun.

    • GhostCat says:

      I find Reader fics much more enjoyable if I just insert random adjectives into the spaces.

      (Y/N) = Muffin
      (F/C) = gelatinous
      (H/C) = bubbly
      (S/C) = abrasive
      (E/C) = feathery

    • BatJamags says:

      (Elsa x Girl! Reader)

      Huh. I guess I’m a girl now. Or more accurately, Whirlybat Von Flubbertybubble is. And since she’s got brown eyes…

      Yes, I do actively look for excuses to use that song.

    • AdmiralSakai says:

      (Y/N) = [DATA EXPUNGED]
      (F/C) = The one from space
      (H/C) = Hair’s non-Euclidean nature prevents any light from escaping
      (S/C) = Not Applicable
      (E/C) = In order from top to bottom: Red, yellow, red, green, red, red, black, blue, red

    • SC says:

      Key
      (Y/N) = Rainbow Daisy, King of Kings
      (F/C) = Unicorn puke
      (H/C) = The same shade of beige my couch is
      (S/C) = Racist
      (E/C) = Orbs of brilliant violet hue

      There we go.

      • BatJamags says:

        Wait, so you’re calling yourself a racist?

      • SC says:

        Only my skin color, the rest of me is non-prejudiced.

      • SC says:

        Rainbow Daisy, King of Kings, has always been a proponent of equality, even though he was born with a strange skin disease that left his body covered in splotches shaped like offensive slurs.

    • (Y/N) = Agent [REDACTED]
      (F/C) = Agent [CLASSIFIED]
      (H/C) = Agent [INEXPLICABLE]
      (S/C) = Agent [GREY]
      (E/C) = Agent [BIRDBRAIN]

  2. BatJamags says:

    Sorry!

    You should be.

  3. AdmiralSakai says:

    (Y/N) = Your name

    Every single time I see this I can only think of those “continue? [Y/n]” prompts that the Linux command-line spits out.

  4. AdmiralSakai says:

    Sorry!

    Hmmm.

    Not exactly my first choice for a Frozen crossover, but let’s see how it goes.

  5. AdmiralSakai says:

    I will say that I do prefer Reader fics that give the audience a defined gender

    I am so triggered right now.

  6. BatJamags says:

    Am I a cannibal? Because it sort of looks like we’re having my brother for dinner.

  7. BatJamags says:

    Whirlybat Von Flubbertybubble thought as she noticed a spot in the crowd with no one in it. ‘He’s short-ish, maybe he’s there.’

    How can you tell there’s no one in that spot? How big is it? How tall are you? Er… am I? Why is the void so formless right now? How short is short-ish? When did I get a brother? What’s going on?!

    • BatJamags says:

      ‘Was that-?’ The (tall/short) girl’s suspicions were confirmed as the boy came by again, this time sticking his tongue out at her.

      Gee, that’s helpful.

    • GhostCat says:

      I had a moment of Fridge Logic after this went up. Logically, I’d have to be either of average height or tall – if I was short I’d never have spotted the gap in the crowd at head-height. A short person would see mostly shoulders, backs, or chests.

  8. AdmiralSakai says:

    (Y/N) peeked around heads to locate her brother.

    Why is this a crows of just heads?

    I was kidding about the eldritch abomination description up above.

    • AdmiralSakai says:

      Am I a cannibal? Because it sort of looks like we’re having my brother for dinner.

      I WAS KIDDING!

    • BatJamags says:

      Hey, for all you know, it’s a ravens of just heads. Maybe a blackbirds of just heads.

      They’re all very different types of abomination, and they don’t like being stereotyped.

  9. BatJamags says:

    The girl made her way to the spot. No one was there. Whirlybat Von Flubbertybubble groaned. She was never going to find him at this rate!

    Oh no, I checked, what, one place? I’LL NEVER FIND HIM! HE’S LOST FOREVER! I’M SORRY, MOTHER! I’M SORRY!

  10. AdmiralSakai says:

    “Ouchiee,” (Y/N) whined as she rubbed his now sore butt.

    Wow. The fall was apparently severe enough to change my gender.

    Maybe I fell on the feeling of General Sigfreid’s penis.

  11. BatJamags says:

    Steven laughed as he flew past his pouting sister at lightning speed.

    • SC says:

      God damn you, Barry! You stop running through the house at lightning speed this instant, young man!

      • BatJamags says:

        I hate to be That Guy, but I’m pretty sure that’s Wally. Note the green eyes.

        Yes, I’m nerdy enough that I check Flash’s eye color to figure out which one it is. Yes, it’s very sad. Shush.

      • SC says:

        Honestly, if superheroes could just stick to being one person consistently, that’d help a lot.

      • BatJamags says:

        It really wood.

        Then again, I am technically able to say that my two favorite DC characters are Batman and Batman, so that’s a plus.

      • BatJamags says:

        It really wood.

        Insert innuendo here.

      • SC says:

        “Holy morning wood, Bat-”

        “Robin, no.”

      • GhostCat says:

        It is kind of fun when someone says something like “I like Green Lantern” and you ask them “Which one?” Nine times out of ten the person gets this really confused look on their face.

  12. BatJamags says:

    Both girls landed on the ice, one with a squeak, and the other without a sound.

    Dammit, why do I keep falling over? And why do I keep squeaking?

  13. AdmiralSakai says:

    I don’t know, why am I too chicken? Did I fall down hard enough to partially change my species?

    Wait, maybe that’s how Taren Shepard came into being…

  14. BatJamags says:

    Whirlybat Von Flubbertybubble held out her hand to help Elsa up. “I’m really, really sorry,” the girl said, her own brown eyes pleading forgiveness from the queen. Elsa seemed surprised by the girl’s actions.

    OH GOD MY EYES ARE TALKING!

  15. BatJamags says:

    Elsa almost flew back onto the ice, causing Whirlybat Von Flubbertybubble to stumble and land into the queen’s arms.

    Maybe Sakai’s right about the eldritch abomination thing. This can’t be occurring in a space with euclidean geometry.

  16. AdmiralSakai says:

    A grin broke onto the boy’s happy face.

    If his face is already happy, wouldn’t he already be grinning or smiling in some fashion?

    That, or the ambulatory smile just ran into him hard enough to break a couple of its teeth.

  17. BatJamags says:

    (And none of that “it’s technically a fruit” nonsense. If I can’t dip it in chocolate or put it in ice cream, then it isn’t a fruit.)

    HEAR HEAR!

  18. BatJamags says:

    Elsa put a hand to her chest, her heart was beating at a unnatural rate, her face a tomato.

    For the record, I read that as:

    Elsa put a hand to her chest, her heart was beating at a unnatural rate, her face a tornado.

  19. BatJamags says:

    “Any-anytime,” The nervous girl spoke, “Th-thanks for catching me.”

    Elsa chuckled as she looked at the girl with an approving grin. “Your welcome.”

    Both girls looked at each other and laughed.

    Great. Now I’m a blushing, stuttering asshole. Even being shipped with a queen is not worth this.

    LEARN TO WRITE ROMANCE A DIFFERENT WAY, AUTHORS!

  20. AdmiralSakai says:

    “H-huh?” The younger girl spoke, suddenly broke from her trance from the gorgeous queen.

    … Do I have a crush on Elsa?

    No, you just got fined for every penny you owned for being improper enough to crash into her.

  21. BatJamags says:

    “Are you Whirlybat von Flubbertybubble?” Elsa asked, her eyes locked with Whirlybat’s brown ones.

    “How did you-?”

    “I’m Batman,” said Elsa.

    “That doesn’t make any sense. You’re clearly a woman,” Whirlybat pointed out.

    “This coming from you?” asked Elsa.

    “Oh, yeah.”

  22. BatJamags says:

    Elsa chuckled. “A boy with a red cloak was talking to me earlier today. He had said something about hiding from his sister named Whirlybat von Flubbertybubble with You Gotta Have Blue Hair hair and brown eyes.

    Well, that’s a weirdly specific way to describe your sister to a complete stranger. Is he talking to a police sketch artist?

    • GhostCat says:

      Depends on how many people have You Gotta Have Blue Hair hair and brown eyes. If it’s a fairly common combination it wouldn’t be helpful at all. And is Elsa asking everyone she meets that has You Gotta Have Blue Hair hair and brown eyes if they’re Whirlybat von Flubbertybubble?

  23. BatJamags says:

    “He told me that if you came then he could be hiding in his ‘secret hideout.’” Elsa said with a roll of her eyes. “C’mon, I’ll show you,” Elsa motioned (Y/N) to follow and who was she to disobey a queen?

    WHY DID HE TELL HER ALL THIS STUFF?!

  24. AdmiralSakai says:

    (Y/N) poked a haystack, hitting what felt like a person, in the arm.

    Why have I. Suddenly become. Shatner?

    She poked the haystack in the arm and hit what felt like a person?

  25. BatJamags says:

    “Thank you soooo much for helping me! I better get home before mother gets mad.” (Y/N) released Elsa’s hands and the queen hid a giggle behind her hand.

    … Why the hell am I, like, suddenly going all, like, soooo totally valley girl? Like, OH. MYGOD. YOU GUYS.

  26. BatJamags says:

    Author: Ami Rawr Needs A Cookie

    That’s probably not the stupidest username I’ve ever seen, but it’s close.

    • SC says:

      I can do one better: every now and again, I’ll riff a chapter on my own little fuck-around riffing blog from a badfic by author “Olivia’s the New King Under the Mountain.”

      No, that’s actually her username.

  27. BatJamags says:

    The problem with reader fics is that having one adds nothing to a story. Either it’s going to be incredibly vague, or it’s going to ascribe personality traits (and gender) to the reader which aren’t necessarily true of them. At least second-person narration is a stylistic choice (a little awkward, but read enough Homestuck fanfic and you get used to it). Reader fic is not productive or interesting in any way, it just makes things deliberately nonspecific.

    • GhostCat says:

      For me, reading fiction – any fiction – should be an immersive experience. I think that’s what authors that write Readers fics or second-person fics are trying to do, but use the second-person perspective/Reader format as a kind of shortcut of sorts. It’s like you say – they either have to assume various traits that their audience doesn’t possess or be so vague that nothing makes sense. It completely ruins the experience.

      • BatJamags says:

        Second-person perspective can avoid that if it’s clear that the “you” is not specifically the reader, just like a first-person narrator isn’t necessarily the author. Reader fics, on the other hand, can’t really avoid breaking your immersion like that.

      • AdmiralSakai says:

        Except that this isn’t actually second-person, it’s third-person limited following around a character who is supposed to be the reader!

      • GhostCat says:

        Yeah, but many Reader fics are second-person which just compounds the problems.

      • BatJamags says:

        Yeah, that was my point. I was saying that second-person at least could be better than reader fic like this.

      • GhostCat says:

        Second-person is difficult but not impossible, I think it works better in single chapters or short stories rather than trying to stretch it over the length of a novel, but Reader fics are just confusing and … Meh.

      • BatJamags says:

        And actually putting a reader fic in second-person just makes everything more confusing.

  28. SC says:

    Yay! I’m so happy I’m not a pumpkin!

    Jack Skellington: Well, I never!

  29. SC says:

    :blows silent ninja whistle:

    *Drake clutches his ears in agony*

    Oh dear. It seems the ninja whistle doubles as a Fox Animagus Torture Device.

    Drake: It’s silent to you fuckers, but all I hear are really, really loud kotos, and they won’t fucking stop!

  30. SC says:

    You Gotta Have Blue Hair hair

    Trope drop!

    *SC dings a bell on the desk*

  31. SC says:

    Am I a cannibal? Because it sort of looks like we’re having my brother for dinner.

    Relevant:

  32. Addicted Reader says:

    “Ouchiee,” (Y/N) whined as she rubbed his now sore butt.

    She found her brother. They have *that* kind of relationship, as demonstrated further in the fic.

  33. “Ouchiee,” Agent [REDACTED] whined as she rubbed his now sore butt.

    Agent [GREY]: I’m never going to let the chap forget that he said “ouchiee.” Sounds like a bloody five year old.

    *Agent [REDACTED] just sighs*

  34. TacoMagic says:

    “I said, weren’t you looking for someone?” Elsa replied with a smirk.

    BAAAAAA-

    :sets out plate of alfalfa snickerdoodles for Cerbersheep:

    *Cerbersheep drops Horatio and trots over to the cookie plate*

    • SC says:

      Alert Gumdrop, the snickerdoodles are a hit.

      Now to try macaroons!

      • GhostCat says:

        He’s busy right now; he promised the darkwraiths a pan of caramel-squirrel brownies for their book club meeting tonight.

        I have to give him credit, Gumdrop knows his audience.

  35. "Lyle" says:

    (And none of that “it’s technically a fruit” nonsense. If I can’t dip it in chocolate or put it in ice cream, then it isn’t a fruit.)

    Technically, every fruit is a vegetable, but not every vegetable is a fruit. It’s mostly a vernacular thing to call a certain type of vegetable matter a “fruit” versus calling it a “vegetable.” So, by technical definition, a tomato – although biologically able to be referred to as a fruit – is also just as much biologically a vegetable.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s