1381: A Demonic Rose – Oneshot

Title: A Demonic Rose
Author: Shadow’s Hollow
Media: Video Game
Topic: Devil May Cry 4
Genre: Humor/Friendship
URL: Chapter One
Chapter Two
Critiqued by SC and Shades

*SC sits in the riffing chamber and sighs heavily*

…The fuck is she? I sent her out for donuts! What, is she taking their entire display spread?

*Shades finally shimmies her way into the chamber, several boxes of donuts precariously balanced in her arms*

Shades: Easy does it, eeeasy does it, slow and steady now…

Oh my God, you did take their entire display spread.

Shades: Mate. They had chocolate chip braids. I would have done us a disservice if I didn’t take the entire tray of them.

And that filled all those boxes? I don’t buy it.

Shades: Mate.

I don’t buy it, Shades, you’re not changing my-

Shades: Lemon. Filled.

Shades: Apple cinnamon.

Shades: Strawberry frosted.

*Shades leans in close and pulls her sunglasses down, her blue-grey eyes practically boring holes through SC’s skull*

Shades: Maaaple baaars.

…Okay, I think I see where you’re coming from now. Give me a motherfucking lemon-filled and an apple cinnamon right now or I will shoot something.

*Shades pops open two boxes, one filled with lemon-filled donuts and another with apple cinnamon donuts*

Aaawww yiss, c’mere motherfuckers!

Shades: Don’t bogart the French crullers, those are fucking MINE.

Right, find somewhere to set all those down, we gotta get started.

Hello, and welcome back to the Library of the Damned! I’m your host, SC, and I’m here with a oneshot this week.

A pretty interesting oneshot, too. Not necessarily because the fic itself is interesting (haven’t read it through, so I don’t know for certain), but because… Well, you guys remember my first riff here, right?

Maybe not all of you. For those that aren’t in the know, a quick summary:

When I first started riffing here, my first riff was a fic from the Devil May Cry section of fanfiction.net, called Devil May Cry 4:Remake, by author LightBlueLightning. I chose it because, at the time, I already had prior experience with the early chapters – I’d been riffing it on my own DeviantART account just about as fast as LightBlueLightning was writing it. But, well, then I got bored, and it was already completed and with a sequel by the time I found the Library. Seemed appropriate to start with.

I got eleven chapters in. Out of twenty-one, I think. I was at the halfway mark, and then it happened: that fic pushed a button that you should NEVER push with me.

I’ll admit it, I broke down hard. I exploded at the fic and the author both, and completely refused to continue the riff, which to this day is unfinished. After LightBlueLightning found the Library not too long ago and tried to bitch us out, it will now NEVER be finished, because I and the other riffers opened up a can of fuck-you on her so badly that she swore to quit writing forever, wiped her entire fanfiction.net account clean and faded into internet obscurity. The only places you can find her are her two defunct wiki accounts. Even her DeviantART page is dead now.

That has, to date, been the ONLY Devil May Cry fic I’ve ever riffed.

…So today, I’m riffing another one!

*Shades spits her coffee across the room*

Nice.

Shades: Mate, I can’t seriously be the only person you had on call to help riff a Devil May Cry fic, of all things.

Well, initially, I started riffing DMC4 alone. After that it was Simon and his group, but they’re all busy with their Demonslayer thing, and Creed and his crew got a call before I contacted them, so the only other option I had was you.

Shades: Well, I suppose Dante’s title IS Paranormal Investigator, and I was a detective for the PNJE in a past life… Still though, you couldn’t get Lordic, even?

He was on modified assignment because his latest partner-to-ditch-his-ass complained about misconduct.

Shades: Sounds about right. I swear, the Sergeant only keeps him around because life would be boring without him in the office causing shit. So I’m really the only option, huh?

Yep. As much as I’m into the whole demon hunting side of the fantasy genre, I honestly don’t have that many OCs from it.

So anyhow, enough of that. This riff isn’t gonna write itself, right?

This fic is “A Demonic Rose,” by Shadow’s Hollow, a name which I can’t come to a decision on – was it inspired by Kingdom Hearts, Bleach, or is this just edgelordiness?

Shades: My money’s on edgelord.

I think I agree. So, this fic is four chapters long, about five thousand-something words, and was originally posted back in 2011. It’s 2016 now, means the fic is dead, right? WRONG, it was recently updated back in March, and the author is going to explain why in a second, here:

I’ve decided to rewrite this story. Mostly it is the same so far, but I wasn’t happy with how it had been written originally. Please be patient with rereading it as some features are different. Read and enjoy please.

Okay, fair enough. A little touchy on the sentence structuring, so I think I can see one reason they would want to try again; the grammar isn’t terrible, which is a point in their favor. They’re asking for patience in the process, rather than using the rewrite as an excuse to try and demand ass-kissing – I mean, I can’t promise that I’ll go easy, but I’ll try not to flip out, at the very least – and they’re not begging for reviews, instead asking that folks reading try and enjoy it, in spite of the issues. Overall, I feel good about this author.

…But I’m still gonna riff their ass. Hey, fair’s fair, they’re re-writing it, I’m gonna point out the flaws.

Disclaimer: I do NOT own anything involving Devil May Cry.

This is an issue that frequently gets on Taco’s nerves – disclaimers, according to dictionary definition, are legal statements, wherein the party in question absolves themselves of a certain measure of responsibility for something; in this case, ownership of intellectual property. Thing is, though, it’s pointless to put a disclaimer in a fic, because fanfiction, by its nature, has no legal claim to anything that winds up in the story which the writer did not come up with using their own creativity. Many fanfics can be summed up as one part characters, one part setting, one part plot, and one part original content. You have about 1/2 claim to the story, and that’s the plot and whatever original content you make and put in. Everything else, you’re just borrowing for the tale. And if you don’t make up your own plot, then you only have about 1/4 claim. Everybody who reads or writes fanfiction knows this, or should know it.

Ergo, disclaimers are thoroughly pointless. Nice thought, but that’s all.

Shades: I can almost hear you getting called to the carpet on that.

Oh totally. I probably got something wrong, I’m not gonna deny it.

I do own Rose and Anabell.

I know the immediate assumption is “*GASP!* SUUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!”, but I use OCs in my fics too, so maybe it’s not as bad as we think.

Anabell will talk like this. Any talking she does is actually singing!

…I’ve been wrong before.

Well, on that note, we finally open chapter one, named… “A Demonic Rose.” I guess it’s fitting, but usually the title drop happens near the climax, not right at the opening.

A young female

Ugh. This is just me nitpicking here, but I hate how folks have gotten so PC that it’s the new cool thing to use specific gender titles to talk about people rather than “man” or “woman” or anything like that anymore. It just sounds like they’re talking about animals instead of human beings, you know?

Shades: Not me. If you’re a bint, you’re a bint, and if you’re a bloke, you’re a bloke. That’s how I live my life, none of this political correctness shite.

So how many times has that gotten you in trouble?

Shades: I mean, it’s never been anything racist on my end, but people have gotten snippy with me over my general bluntness, if that’s what you’re asking.

looked at the store in front of her; her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. It was just a regular brick building with a neon sign above the front doors. There was really nothing special about the look of the place, just like the rest of the city.

Groceries are confusing, yo.

Shades: Hey, after Harry Potter, brick buildings always make me wonder if I’m about to walk my happy arse into Diagon Alley.

Gonna get yourself that Phoenix feather-core wand?

Shades: Nope; Veela hair, oak, eleven inches.

…Wait, Veela hair? Really?

Shades: So what if my wand is a fussy bitch? I’ve fired guns that are more frustrating to use. Long as it can Stupify a cunt when I need it to, I can handle it. Why, what would you use?

Uh, shit, I don’t know, sycamore wood, unicorn hair, maybe nine inches? Haven’t really read up much on wandlore.

Shades: Sounds like an easy wand, to me.

Bro, I ain’t no wizard, I can’t use tricky wands. Easy was what I was going for, anyhow.

Shades: Makes me wonder what Booky might use, if he were a wand person. Or Bifocals, since she is a wand person.

[Seven inches. Thunderbird tail feather core. Laurel wood. The shorter the wand, the more precise the spellcasting; Thunderbird feathers are extremely powerful magical conduits that are difficult to master by any but the best; Laurel wood has a bit of a taskmaster’s temperament, and is rumored to be incapable of doing anything against its honor. Fits me to a T. -Book Specs]

[…I just build my wands from spare machine parts. -Bifocals]

“Devil May Cry… why in the world would he be hiding in a place like this?” She asked herself as she pulled the collar of her jacket a little closer to her neck to cover her bare skin from the cold wind of the night.

Whoa, back the fuck up. Devil May Cry is Dante’s office/crashing pad, not a store. And as for why he hides out there: use your head. He hunts demons. That’s not exactly a nine-to-five job, you know? Guy probably can’t afford anything else.

Shades: Well, that, and it’s pretty cozy anyhow. Course, this is coming from the girl who, back in her cop days, lived in a flat that had beanbag chairs, shag carpets, a kitchenette the size of a broom closet, and a TV from the seventies, so…

Really? You couldn’t afford better on an officer’s pay?

Shades: Mate. Think real hard about my habits for a second.

Oh, right, the gun thing… Good thing the PNJE actually allowed possession of firearms, huh?

Shades: There were a number of times where I had to show my badge to the bobbies to keep from getting my kneecaps broken by nightsticks, I will admit.

With a sigh she walked up the steps while pulling a gun from under her jacket.

Hey, if you’re gonna try the assassination thing, you should know that that’s never worked on Dante once. Ask Trish, she could tell you.

Shades: Oh, just Trish? The list of people who’ve tried to kill Dante is that short, is it?

Most of the rest of them are dead, yo.

She then proceeded to kick the doors open and fired a shot. Red splattered the wall as the bullet made contact, but the target wasn’t what the girl was expecting.

Slowly an eye appeared in the hole in the pizza.

Classic Dante.

Shades: Course, now that poor bitch is dead, because she shot up his pizza.

I’d kill a bitch too, if they shot my pizza! Honestly, I don’t feel much sympathy for her, she brought that down on her own head.

It blinked twice before its owner stood up, “Come on, I just had those fixed.”

Shades: The pizza, or your doors?

The girl got a quick glance at the man who had been sitting down: white hair, cyan blue eyes and no shirt.

Shades: Wait, are Dante’s eyes blue?

I think so. Never really bothered to check.

Blinking the girl’s eyes widened and as quick as possible she pulled one of the doors in front of her, using it as a shield against the sudden barrage of bullets that were now being shot at her.

Shades: Sure, you know, just rip that door right off its hinges and riot shield it, and it’ll totally defend you from the sheer onslaught of what must be .50 caliber bullets Dante’s gigantic guns fire, absolutely.

Oh yeah, works all the time in the movies, don’t you know.

There was a second when there were no bullets being shot, and two new women used that moment to their advantage to walk into the store while the girl and man’s attention were on each other.

Yeah right, because full-blooded demon Trish totally needs Dante to stop shooting in order for her to walk into the building. And fucking Lady’s cannon is huge enough to deflect most of the incoming fire if she just holds it in front of her.

Shades: In fairness, the as-yet unnamed bint is kind of blocking the other door right now.

That’s her fault, not Dante’s.

Oh, and I guess we need clothing porn for the only two girls Dante is ever associated with.

One of the women had black short cropped hair, she was dressed in a white shirt, white shorts, black gloves and a pair of black boots. Sunglasses rested on top of her head along with a giant gun on her back.

Shades: I’ve always had a bit of a conniption with how Lady dresses for action. Like, short shorts and a barely-buttoned blouse? That doesn’t even do anything to protect her. Hell, it’s not even practical for using that fuck-off-huge cannon, either, her clothes don’t give her enough weight to prevent from blasting herself right off her feet.

Yeah, but hey, she clearly makes it work somehow. Besides, I rather doubt that you could tell me you’ve never worn anything that was more style over practicality.

Shades: So I take it you’ve never seen my PNJE Combat TacSuit before?

They gave you a TacSuit?

Shades: Primarily for raids, but yes.

Detective Marina Deckard, alias Shades, circa sometime before her First Death

Detective Marina Deckard, alias Shades, circa sometime before her First Death

…Wow, I stand corrected on my claim, then. Also, you wore your hair a hell of a lot shorter than you do now.

Shades: You seriously thought my present hairstyle was how I went in to work? Mate, what part of “I didn’t want catcalls from scum” did you miss?

One blue eye and one red eye looked around the mess before her.

Fun fact: Lady has a condition known as heterochromia iridum, which is what happens when your body lacks a certain amount of the melanin pigment, particularly regarding the eyes.

Shades: What about my eyes, then?

Your grey eyes are probably due to your stroma having a lot more collagen deposits. At least, that’s what Wikipedia says.

The other woman was much different from her companion. She was tall where her friend was not, and she had long blond hair and bright blue eyes.

Again, not sure if Trish actually has blue eyes. She was created in the image of Dante’s mother, so the assumption is that, if one does, both do.

The very air around her screamed ‘look at me,’ and her outfit matched that air perfectly. She was dressed in black pants, corset and heels.

All leather, I might add.

Shades: Because of course.

And to the surprise of none, Trish actually tends to play a domineering role in just about everything she does.

Shades: Doesn’t take a brainiac to figure out which letter in S&M Trish occupies.

“Really Dante? You’re shooting customers now?” The woman in white asked.

“She shot first,” Dante said with a shrug.

He’s got a point, it wasn’t his fault this time.

Shades: Is it ever his fault when someone or something tries to kill him?

Normally, yes, because he’s a little shit-starter by nature. But in the few instances where it was attempted assassination, no.

He glanced once more at the girl who was sticking her head out from behind the door. Finally he just placed the silver and black guns that he was holding down onto the desk that he had previously been sitting at.

The blond turned to the girl standing next to her and smiled. “It’s alright, he won’t shot now. I suggest that you just ignore Dante, he doesn’t like new clients.”

Then why the fuck would he start a business?!

She had such a sweet voice that made the girl almost want to smile. “I’m Trish and the one in white is Lady. Dante’s the owner of Devil May Cry.”

Shades: “We’re just freeloaders, ourselves, but it’s okay because we help Dante hunt demons, so he lets us hang out.”

That… actually, I think that’s exactly their side of things. I mean, could you imagine Dante trying to impose rent on those two? They’d fucking destroy him.

The strange girl slowly lowered her gun and slowly released her hold on the door, allowing it to fall to the ground.

Oh my God, she actually did rip the door off its hinges!

Shades: Well then.

…Hey, look at that, no DRD coming to bust our asse-

*Sorry, I was asleep*

I had to open my mouth.

Shades: It’s alright, apparently someone thought it was cute to lay landmines all over the floor when I was coming back with the donuts.

Landmines?

*Instead of numerous explosions, the hallway is filled with the sounds of Looney Toons sound effects and screaming*

Oooooh, those were Bifocals’ joke mines! Yeah, she wanted to use those on April Fools, but my riff didn’t fall on that day, so she couldn’t.

Shades: Now that is simply a shame.

“So none of you are a scientist? No scientist here at all?”

Bro, if you were looking for Agnus, he’s not even in the same city.

Lady turned to look at the girl as she now stood by Dante at the desk. “No scientists here.”

The girl put her gun back under her coat and turned to walk down the stairs, not saying a word to any of them. She twitched when she heard Dante say something. Turning her head back she saw Trish and Lady talking and Dante reaching to his desk and grabbing another slice of pizza.

Kinda surprised that none of them inquired as to who the poor scientist fucker was that she was looking for. If I were the accidental target of an assassination, I’d sure want to know who the intended victim was.

The girl smirked and quickly drew a dagger from her sleeve, throwing it straight at Dante. The black dagger became imbedded in Dante’s chest… alongside the now ruined pizza.

Shades: … You stupid tit.

“That was the last piece!” Dante grabbed Rebellion from next to his desk and threw it, not aiming in the least as he pulled the dagger out.

Oh shit!

Shades: Where’s your door-shield now, ya tosser?

A few blood drops splattered onto Lady’s face and she just merely wiped them away. Trish though starred out of the doorway, right at the still figure that had been slammed into the wall across the street with Rebellion hilt deep in her back.

Welp.

Shades: That’s gonna leave a mark.

Trish walked over and jumped onto Rebellion’s hilt.

Really, Trish? Do you have to rub it in? Really?

Leaning over she placed her hand onto the girl’s neck, checking for any type of pulse. She soon walked back inside and straight towards the desk once more.

“Dead.”

Yeah, I don’t think we needed a pulse check on that one, people don’t usually tend to survive having Dante’s fucking sword thrown at them.

Shades: Don’t ever come between a demon hunter and his pizza, lesson learned.

Dante merely sighed as he threw both of the ruined slices of pizza away and sat down. He placed his feet onto the desk and tossed the girl’s dagger to the desk next to his guns. “She’s not dead Trish and you should know that. A lot of Demons don’t die that easily.”

Of course she’s a demon, because this is a Devil May Cry fic, and therefore duh.

Shades: I mean, I get that they’re kind of the bread and butter of the series, but can’t we ever just have a regular human be the star of one of these fics? Lady can hold her own, and she’s human! Hell, she was a boss fight for Dante in DMC3!

This is true, folks:

She also had a fucking annoying boss arena, I might add.

He glanced over at his ruined doorway, “and she’s gone and made a mess of the place.”

Well, that’s just plain inconsiderate.

“She doesn’t feel like a Demon Dante.”

Shades: Nah, I’d categorize her more as a Werewolf Dante.

I think even that’s being pretty generous on the Dante scale.

Suddenly a groan came from outside of the store

Still not a store.

and the three of them turned their heads and watched as the girl’s body twitch a little. Her chest soon began to move backwards and forwards as she slowly took deep breaths.

Wow, that’s some fucking wacky anatomy she’s got if her chest goes back and forth when she breathes.

“How?”

Shades: I dunno, you tell us.

“Not sure, but does it matter? Think about it for a moment, neither of you would have known that I was a Demon if we had met differently.”

…Huh?

Both Lady and Trish did think about it for a while before Lady nodded her head. “Guess that leaves you with babysitting.”

I’m really struggling to connect A to B, here.

Shades: I think the first part was about how Trish and Lady learned about Dante being half-demon from trying to kill him and it not working, but Trish already knew that because she was sent to kill him on another demon’s orders, and that second bit about the babysitting… yeah, got nothing.

Author, you’ve stumped the damn detective, here.

Lady then walked out of the store, throwing back one last comment. “And don’t think that I’m paying to have your store fixed, you already owe me a lot.” With that she was gone and Trish was quick to follow after.

When does Dante not have an outstanding debt to repay? That’s why he never has any money.

Dante then looked across the street again and thought about leaving the girl where she was as payment for destroying his store. After about a minute he stood up and started walking towards her, he just couldn’t bring himself to leave her there. ‘She seems like she’s the Kid’s age.’

By “kid,” I can only assume he means Nero.

Shades: Ostensibly.

Dante reached up and removed Rebellion in a swift motion, catching the girl’s body as it fell. She was lighter that Lady without her weapons on, and that was saying something.

Are you calling Lady’s guns fat?

Shades: Honestly, the nerve of some people.

It was a silent walk back into the store

Still not a store.

to drop off Rebellion at his desk and then walk up the stairs. Dante placed the girl onto the bed in his room and carefully removed her jacket and weapons. He placed the jacket next to her, but took the weapons to look over. After that he walked back downstairs to order another pizza and clean up some of the mess that had been made.

Shades: Well, that was the single most boring thing I’ve ever read about Dante doing.

It’s really weird to not see him kicking all the ass at all hours of the day.

Sunlight filtered into the room through the window, landing on the girl’s eyes and bringing her back into the world of the conscious.

And it kinda sounded like: “AAAAAAAAGH MY EYES!!!!!”

Zings of pain

Shades: Never heard it called that, before.

flared through her back as she rolled over to stare at the ceiling. She tried to flex her muscles without moving too much and it did help a bit. Every time that she’d been injured she would feel this way and she hated it. Oh she knew that she’d be fine within a couple of hours.

Shades: Well, then stop fussing, you ninny.

Suddenly she felt as though she were being watched. “Where am I?”

“Devil May Cry. You never left.”

The girl turned her head to the right to stare at the shadows where a man stood. “Okay then, and who the hell are you?”

“Proper manners dictate that you introduce yourself first before you ask others their names,” the man said as he walked forward.

Yeah, no, I’m pretty sure the obligation of explanation falls to the person asked, buddy.

Shades: Wow, you couldn’t have made that sound anymore like lawyer jargon if you tried.

I watch WAY too many cop and courtroom shows.

He looked a lot like Dante, but his white hair was slicked back and his features weren’t all that kind. A three tailed blue trench coat with a snake like design on the right side covered most of his figure, pants and vest, golden fingerless gloves and brown boots. A sheathed katana was held in his left hand.

Wh-? Fucking Vergil?!

Shades: … But he’s dead.

He’s supposed to be!

[Oh, and if anybody was expecting an infodump about Vergil or curious why one didn’t happen for any character so far, don’t bother. The SC policy is: “Regardless of how far back in history I said it, if I’ve already gone into detail once about a character, I won’t explain about them again.” -Book Specs]

The man sat on the edge of the bed and watched as the girl slowly sat up and rested her back against the wall with a sigh.

“The name is Rose, and yours?”

[GOD FUCKING DAMN IT! MOM, I NEED A NAME CHANGE, RIGHT NOW! -Rose Shades]

“Vergil,” he stated plainly.

Rose raised an eyebrow but shook it off. “Okay so it’s Dante and Vergil. Got it. You wouldn’t happen to know where the bathroom is would you?”

Shades: I feel like Vergil would consider himself above helping someone find the toilet.

To be fair, basically his whole character is like that. DMC3 really showcased his utter disdain towards anybody and everybody, including his own brother.

As soon as Rose was able to take a shower she felt much better. Thankfully the wound was completely healed, so her back was only stiff. As she was getting dressed again she noticed that her main weapons were missing. She calmly walked downstairs, thinking that she had just dropped them at some point.

Shades: Okay, but she never indicated that she was done dressing, so as far as I know, she’s wandering around with her tits flapping in the wind.

*SC spits out his drink and laughs hysterically*

Surprisingly all of the damage was now fixed. Taking a look around Rose saw Demon heads mounted along the walls as well as various types of weapons.

Shades: Here’s my question: given that demons in Devil May Cry have a propensity towards violently exploding upon defeat, how did Dante manage to salvage any of their heads?

He’s the son of Sparda, you’d expect him to be at least decently quick, I’d wager.

An antique jukebox sat in a corner, a pool table and sofa were near the stairs, and a drum set and guitar sat in another corner as well as a dart board. There were various boxes around the room and a desk in the back center. At the desk sat Dante while his brother was on the couch.

I’m sorry, what? You relegated Vergil to your nasty-ass couch? Ooh, it’s no wonder he wanted to kill you so bad in 3, Dante.

When Dante heard her footsteps he spun his chair around and whistled, “Now that I get a good look at you, you’re pretty good looking.” Rose didn’t say anything, only because she saw the spark of humor in his eyes.

And she suddenly realized she forgot to put her shirt on.

Shades: Fly, titties, be free!

OH MY GOD, STOP THAT!

Also, character porn incoming.

She had waist length black hair with forest green highlights. Her lightly tanned skin off set her grey eyes that had the same forest green specks in them. She wasn’t really tall, but her thin frame and proud stance made sure that she was noticed, whether she wanted to be or not.

You know, author, I’ve been trying not to slam your character with the Mary Sue tag, but you are making it really damn hard for that to be justified.

Rose had on a black tank top, grey shorts, black knee high heelless boots and black fingerless gloves that went halfway up her biceps. She had her gray trench coat with black trim currently draped over her arm.

Shades: High heelless boots? So then, they’re just long, regular boots, then.

Who would wear high-heeled boots into combat anyhow? Good grief, it’s that style over practicality conversation all over again…

Shades: Okay, serious time now. Authors, take heed: done right, a character can still be alluring wearing proper gear as they would be in their civvies. Stop trying so hard to make them look cool and just let them be cool, okay?

Honestly, the “coolest” outfit in the Specs and Co. probably belongs to Sports Shades, and even that’s pretty plain if you consider what feudal Japan’s high-end clothing looked like. That, and it barely does anything to bolster people’s interest in him that his personality doesn’t do a hundred times over.

“Why do the two of you have my weapons?” Dante shrugged as he went back to looking over her gun, Blue Briar. It was a pure black Beretta M9 with cobalt blue briar plant etchings covering it from the base of the grip and up along the slide. The pistol had an elegant and yet fierce look to it.

Shades: That’s the most disgusting thing I’ve ever read.

I wonder how she hopes to fight off demons with a nine millimeter? Did the author not notice that every gun in Devil May Cry is fucking gigantic, and they STILL barely do anything to demons that a sword couldn’t easily triple? Dante has two of what must be .50 caliber pistols (Ivory and Ebony) and a shotgun (Coyote-A), and he still needs to fall back on Rebellion to get the heavy lifting done.

Shades: Some of the strongest rifles in the PNJE barely even scratched a demon, and we’re talking about guns that were military-specced. They were not weak guns, by any stretch.

Rose looked over to Vergil who was currently holding her own katana. Rose was a little more angry about that one. Her katana had been a present from her parents before they had died, so it was special to her.

What a coincidence, Vergil and Dante’s swords were gifts from their father, too!

You see where I’m going with this, don’t you?

Shades: Oh, I see it like I see high beams in my bloody mirrors.

The katana itself was regular looking enough at first glance.

Oh no.

Ghostie, Specs, Goldie, and anybody else with any measure of appreciation for swords, particularly those of Japanese origin, I’m sorry, please don’t hate me-!

The hilt was wrapped in black leather and once you unsheathed the sword you would find five symbols evenly spaced along the blade. The symbols were the kanji for water, fire, earth, wind, and shadow. The sword’s name was Dark Riot.

[*VIOLENT PUKING* -Specs]

[WHYYY. -Goldie]

“They’re nice weapons,”

They’re really not.

Dante tossed Blue Briar back to her, which she caught easily and slid into its holster on her lower back.

Shades: A gun that dinky, you could do with using a shoulder holster. It’s almost comical to put it on your waist.

Should I be worried that you think 9mm is a dinky caliber?

Shades: Nah, it’s just personal bias from me. I’ve gotten so used to using big guns, is all.

“I cleaned it so it’s good to go again.”

“Thanks,” Rose kept glancing between the two of them before walking the rest of the way down the stairs and sitting down on the couch. “So why am I here still?”

It was Vergil to answered her this time. His voice calm and even as he slid his thumb along the edge of the blade. “My brother is an idiot.”

That’s nice, but “why is she here” was the question.

A small cut opened on his thumb and Vergil ignored the blood, sheathing the katana and passing it over to Rose. “That’s a decent sword you have there. Although there is power in it.”

[*Disgusting sobbing* -Specs]

“Yeah I knew that already,” Rose stood and tied the sheath onto her hip. “I haven’t figured out everything about it yet. Dark Riot was a gift that I’m still learning…” Rose trailed off as she looked out of one of the windows. “I guess it’s time for me to go. The sun is going down and it’s time to start getting back on the hunt.” Rose began walking towards the new doors. Which in all honesty didn’t look like they were all that new.

“You’re chasing after a scientist aren’t you? I was informed by Dante that is the reason that the front doorway was in shambles.” Vergil stood as he spoke, walking over to Rose. Once Rose nodded to confirm what he had said Vergil turned towards the doors and opened them. Suddenly Rose was able to see a figure running towards them and jumping onto Vergil.

That’s a mighty fine way to contract a bad case of dead.

“Lord Vergil,” the person who had jumped onto Vergil sang in a lovely alto voice. Vergil merely pulled the person off and dropped her, walking back over to the couch to sit down.

Shades: Vergil sounds like my spirit animal.

Your spirit animal is a half-demon obsessed with power?

Shades: Well, nuts to that, I guess.

Standing up from the ground was a 20 year old girl about 5’9″. She had mid back length black hair tied up in a half ponytail. Her skin was slightly tanned and sapphire blue eyes seem to glow in the setting sunlight. Once the girl was completely standing Rose was able to see that she was wearing a red corset. An article of clothing that made her large breasts look even larger. Blue boot cut jeans were tucked into black combat boots that stopped at the top of her shins. She wore fingerless gloves, much like the ones that Vergil was wearing, though hers were black and matching goggles sat atop her head, the strap going under her ponytail. Upon her back, neck and left shoulder was a vine like plant with thorns and a red rose where the vines seemed to come from.

Shades: I take it back, that’s the most disgusting thing I’ve ever read.

You too, huh?

An executioner’s sword was attached to her right hip.

[*SCREAMING* -Specs and Goldie]

You know executioner swords aren’t designed for combat, right?

“Hello my dear Lord Vergil, thank you for allowing me in,”once again the girl was singing. Her voice seemed to radiate into every corner of the room.

“What the hell Vergil?” Dante stood up and marched over to his brother, grabbing him by the neck of his shirt. “My store isn’t a place for your minions you know.”

I almost think I should name this riff, “A Demonic Still-Not-A-Store Rose.”

“Yes I do know that. Besides, I figured that you would rather not have your doors busted open because she tried to get in. Or do you want to pay to have them fixed again.”

The fuck would Vergil care? He’d probably bust the doors open himself just to assert dominance.

Vergil pushed Dante’s hand away and leaned forward to whisper into his brother’s ear. “You do know that she is a Demon right?” Dante turned his head to look over at Rose. She was staring at the new girl as though she was an oddity.

“She’s not a complete Demon though,” Dante whispered back. “It seems like she’s a half Demon, but what’s weird is that it almost feels like she’s not. I’ve got a feeling that she somehow wasn’t born a Demon, but became one later on.”

Aside from the Order of the Sword artificially transforming themselves into demons and masquerading about as angels, I’m pretty sure that’s not a thing in Devil May Cry lore.

Shades: I’m not entirely sure that’s a thing, period. Demonic transformation, sure, but only half of the way? Color me skeptical.

Suddenly Dante’s desk phone began to ring. Walking over to the desk Dante slammed his fist onto the desk and caught the phone when it jumped into the air.

The phone was all like, “Yipe!”

Shades: Heh.

“Devil May Cry, what can we do for you?” There was silence as Dante let the phone move from his ear. “Hey, Brat, it’s for you,” Dante held out the phone towards Rose.

Rose quickly walked over to grab the old rotary dial phone from Dante’s hand, her face filled with confusion as Dante left her. “Yeah what is it?” Rose asked as she glanced down and saw a framed picture of a woman sitting on Dante’s desk.

That would be Dante’s mother. You’ve seen her before, or at least the closest thing to her – you know, Trish?

“Are you Rose Darious?”

Shades: That sure is a name.

If I weren’t already past the point of trying to defend the author’s characters from being called Sues, this would make for an extremely difficult argument, right here.

Rose’s left eyebrow rose up. No one knew her last name. She hadn’t even used it herself in years.

Shades: I haven’t used any part of my name in years!

Is it difficult to remember that your name is Marina Deckard, sometimes?

Shades: It’s not that it’s difficult to remember, it’s that I simply don’t care.

“Yes… who is this?”

“The scientist that you are looking for is not as close as you were led to believe. Ask Dante to take you to Nero. From there the boy should be able to help you find the man that you are looking for.”

Oh God, it is Agnus, isn’t it?

There was a click and Rose could tell that she had been hung up on. She slowly placed the phone back down and turned towards Dante. “Dante, who is Nero?” At the name Dante’s head turned towards the young girl.

“Well he’s a friend of sorts. Why?”

“Friend” is rather a stretch to describe Nero and Dante’s relationship, I’m thinking. Like, they made nice at the end of 4, sure, but I feel like Nero still wants to kick the shit out of Dante.

Shades: I believe the term you’re looking for is “frenemies.”

Probably, yeah.

“The guy who called said to have you take me to Nero. That I’ll be able to find the scientist with his help.”

Yeah, because Nero has totally ever been about helping Dante out, sure. The only reason he eventually did was because he discovered a little too late that the Order of the Sword was pure scumbaggery, and by that point he needed Dante to bust him out so that he could go and kill Sanctus for being behind it all. Aside from that, do I really need to remind people that Nero tried to kill Dante for asking for Yamato back? I mean, no, it might not have been the most polite attempt, but still:

(Important to note: in the normal difficulty version of the fight, Dante doesn’t have Gilgamesh (read: punch gloves of doom), Pandora (read: suitcase full of heavy artillery) or Lucifer (read: imagine if you had wings that fired explosive spikes) yet. This fight was recorded on Dante Must Die difficulty, which is WAY THE FUCK harder.)

Rose unconsciously fingered the hilt of her katana

EW!

[Kinky. -Rose Shades]

as Dante shared a look with his twin. She jerked when she felt Dante reach around her to grab his two pistols. He now had a red trench coat on with Rebellion already on his back.

And that’s his whole outfit.

Shades: You know, the essentials.

Vergil was standing next to the new girl by the front doors.

“lol hay babe, you wanna have a good time?”

“I have a boyfriend, creep.”

“Not for much longer, you don’t!”

Shades: Now, would mace do anything to a half-demon, do you think?

Pretty sure it wouldn’t.

“Well, since you need Nero’s help and Vergil needs to speak to him I can take you both at one time.” Dante walked towards the doors as he spoke. “You coming or not?” Rose smiled as she followed after him to open the doors. Night time was finally setting in.

“Prepare yourselves. Anabell here attracts Demons whenever she is out during the night so there is a high chance of us fighting.” Vergil calmly walked away, leaving the others to follow after him. Anabell’s voice soon filled the air as she began to hum to herself.

Great. You guys could have just painted targets on your backs, it would have made you less obvious.

Not that Dante and Vergil really care how noticeable they are most of the time, mind.

So, we finally come to the next chapter, entitled “Shadowed Path.” And let me tell you, that REEKS of ninja stereotype.

Raging Demons

Oh, I’m sorry, I guess the actual chapter title is Raging Demons.

“It’s so beautiful.” Anabell said to no one and yet at the same time to everyone. Before them was the island Fortuna. Forests and a mountain made up most of the land mass from what they could see, but there was still a very large city close to the water. It was towards that city that they were making their way to. “To think that such a place could exist in the world and still have so many people not know about it.”

Shades: Okay, mate? STOP BLOODY SINGING!

“Home,” Kyrie sighed with a smile upon her face, looking at Anabell. “That city is Castle Town. It’s the only city on the entire island.”

“Except the castle of course,” Dante added.

“Yes that is true, Fortuna Castle sits upon Lamina Peak. We just don’t count it because no one lives there.

What the cra-? IT’S A FUCKING LANDMARK OF THE ISLAND! You don’t COUNT IT?! What the shit are you smoking, Kyrie?!

Also, when did you even get here? Did you suddenly learn how to traverse the SDQF?

Shades: Is she a Dimension Strider? Those little cunts were always on the wrong end of the law with the PNJE, always using their dimension-hopping powers to try and rewrite history so that their crimes never happened. The only way we got wise to their schemes was when we suddenly saw the files disappearing into nothingness right in front of our eyes.

So, they were like the snobby rich kids who try and use their family’s wealth and influence to skirt the law?

Shades: At least those brats are easy to put in their place…

If you’re planning on going there at all during your stay just remember that it’s overrun by Demons. We found out that after the fall of the False Savior most of the remaining Demons disappeared before they could be killed… we later found them living up in the castle.”

They have a whole damn island, and they all choose to congregate in the castle? Seems kind of counterproductive to not being rounded up and slaughtered, if you ask me.

“False Savior? How could there be a False Savior?” Rose glared up at Kyrie from her spot at the back of the small boat.

“Ah ah Brat, the question you should be asking her is who the Savior is?” Dante turned to Vergil, “Even you’ll get a kick out of how they talk about father.”

Vergil would probably just use it as an excuse to put the entire town under his boot. You know, the power-hungry thing?

Kyrie’s face turned into one filled with confusion, “Sparta is and always will be the Savior. Hadn’t Dante explained that to you at all?”

No, Sparta is a city and once was an ancient kingdom of warriors in Greece. SPARDA is the Savior, as worshipped by the people of Fortuna.

Dante shook his head as he watched Rose turn her glare out to the ocean around them. “I did, but it’s not like I’m gonna go around telling every person that I meet that there’s an island filled with people crazy enough to worship my father. Anyways, I thought you lot would have given up on that after the Kid and I kicked that guy’s ass.” Dante turned his head to look directly at Kyrie. He hadn’t really gotten much of a look the first couple of times he’d seen her. You also don’t tend to remember people’s girlfriends after they’ve been kidnapped.

Bro, that’s their RELIGION you’re talking about. Do you know how hard it is to kick that sort of thing to the curb for people?

“We all grew up believing that Sparta is the Savior and that is what we will always believe.

No, you grew up believing SPARDA was your Savior.

Sanctus used that against us and…” Kyrie just shook her head, “Nero on the other hand never truly believed and now he completely denies it. He says that Sparta fought for the humans, but that doesn’t make him a Savior, it just makes him one of the good guys.”

Okay, apparently you’re not listening. Let me make this very clear for you:

This_is_sparta

“Then I say way to go Nero,” Rose muttered.

The rest of the boat ride of silent for the two girls. Kyrie snuck glances at everyone on the boat, and if Rose caught her eyes the half Demon would glare until Kyrie looked away.

I’m amazed that there exists anybody who is able to character bash Kyrie, of all people. She’s easily the most gentle soul of three female leads in DMC4, how is it possible to hate her?

Shades: You were picking up on that too, huh?

Anabell tried talking to Vergil, although she was doing all of the talking. Dante on the other hand was keeping his eyes on their guide. ‘She doesn’t ever waver in her belief of some Savior, but she was so fickle when it came to Nero and his Demon blood back then. I’ll have to start keeping an eye on her.’ Dante smirked to himself, drawing his brother’s attention. Seeing his twin looking at him Dante leaned a little closer to him. “She’s not even someone that I’d hit on.” It was whispered so quietly that most humans would have issues hearing it, but Demons wouldn’t. Rose snorted from her position before covering her mouth with her hand. ‘At least the Brat was able to get a laugh out of that.’

Shades: No but really, what is this shade being thrown at Kyrie? What has she done to earn this? All she ever did in the game was be an unwitting captive of evil and otherwise put her life in jeopardy for people who couldn’t defend themselves from a demon invasion. How do you hate that?

“Brother, do try to focus on the task at hand. The only reason I’m even here with you is because I want my sword back and you know the person who happens to have it.”

Really, author? You brought Vergil back to life just so you could have an excuse to swipe Yamato away from Nero?

Shades: A damn flimsy excuse, at that. The general fandom consensus is that Nero is probably Vergil’s son, and Nero turns into a demon-murdering BASTARD when he uses Yamato, why wouldn’t Vergil let him keep it?

“And little Rosy has caught your interest hasn’t she Lord Vergil?” Anabell was even quieter than Dante had been. Not allowing Rose to hear her comment. “Don’t worry though, we won’t tell a single soul.”

Vergil opened his mouth to reply, but was cut off by the boat coming to a stop at the docks. “We’ll be meeting Nero at the Cathedral. He’s been there ever since he got your call about coming here.” Kyrie furrowed her brow in confusion. “I’m not exactly sure why though. All that he would say each time I asked was that his world had changed while he was there and he wanted to remember it.”

Is Nero drunk? After the events of DMC4, I would think he would have gone right back to old habits and chased after the straggler demons from the False Savior incident.

The town around them was pristine. Each and every building that you looked at was of Renaissance architecture.

With a mix of steampunk here and there, but mostly Renaissance, yeah.

The Cathedral stood tall and proud not too far from the port. The people around them were laughing and going about their business as though nothing else mattered, as though the world outside of their island didn’t exist. It was the kind of place that a person could get used to being in.

I’m sorry, the city was fucking ruined after the False Savior thing, and those poor people had their world rocked hard. How in the hell have they possibly recovered this quickly? Just how far in the future is this fic set?

Rose glanced around her, keeping an eye out for any Demons that might be hiding in the shadows waiting to attack. She didn’t trust a place where she could feel the Demon aura from so far away.

Oh, we can sense demon auras, now? That’s suddenly a thing in DMC canon, is it? Yeah, okay, sure.

Seeing a design on multiple people’s clothes Rose narrowed her eyes, trying to get a closer look. It was a sword of some sort facing downwards with what looked like horns and a wing.

That would be the emblem of the Order of the Sword, madam.

As far as Rose could see every single person; man, woman, and child; was wearing it. “Yo girl, what’s with all of these people having a sword on their clothes?”

“It’s the insignia for The Order of the Sword. It represents Sparda’s sword, none members have the insignia once on their clothes while members have it in multiple places.”

Okay, less brick in the skull this time, Kyrie.

[Sorry about that; my aim was off. -Book Specs]

Kyrie turned to Rose and turned to the right and then the left, showing the symbol on both of her shoulders in gold.

Kyrie, why are you still in your ceremonial gown? Surely you must have regular clothing, right?

“I have it too since I’m also a member of the Order. Nero has it as well so I still hold hope that he’ll start believing again.”

Shades: Probably the only reason he does is because he likes his jacket too much to get it removed, I don’t know.

Rose’s left eyebrow ticked a little. ‘Mental note one: don’t let anyone near my clothes. Mental note two: that girl is completely and utterly obsessed.’

Oh my g… Not everybody wears the Order’s insignia, and they’re not going to force outsiders to wear it, either! And Kyrie grew up under the Order’s teachings, of course she’ll be a bit attached! Good God, Rose, get over yourself!

Shades: “This lady has a deep and profound connection to her faith? SHE’S FUCKING CRAZY, DON’T LET HER NEAR MY THINGS.”

Rose shook her head to clear her thoughts and followed after the group. They hadn’t waited for Rose to gather herself but thankfully it wouldn’t be too hard to find her way to a giant Cathedral if she did get lost. The closer the building came, the larger it seemed to get.

Yep, that’s how perspective works.

It wasn’t that normal effect of going next to something taller than you. This seemed to have an almost magical effect to it.

Shades: It is a rather lovely building, to be sure.

“Dante, welcome back.” A voice called from the front of the room. “I see that you’ve decided to enter by the door instead of the roof this time.”

lol that ain’t how Nero talks.

Rose looked around her companions to see a teenager about her age

Nero’s an adult. A young one, but an adult nonetheless.

standing on a stage. He was decently tall with white hair like Dante and Vergil’s that was brushed down, as well as similar cyan blue eyes. He wore a long, blue and purple coat with that stupid insignia sewn onto both shoulders. A zip up hoodie vest beneath his coat, a navy muscle-shirt under that and a pair of blue pants. He was wearing two rings on his left hand: one being the insignia… again, on his index finger, and the other on his ring finger: a rose on the ring’s face. The rose was also on his belt buckle, coat clasp and coat buttons. He wore a pair of brown comfortable boots. On his back was a customized Durandal and as he moved Rose caught a glimpse of silver which Rose believed was a gun of some sorts.

Guess who ripped Nero’s character description straight off the wiki!

Shades: Laziness, laziness everywhere.

What really caught Rose’s attention though was his right arm. It was a glowing blue and red Demon arm. Closing her eyes Rose began to concentrate on the people around her. Vergil and Dante both seemed to have a steady hum of Demonic energy. Anabell gave off nearly the same vibe, but it was different, more like the strong beating of a drum. Kyrie held nothing, not even a speck of power within her or even a speck of a speck. The guy though; and Rose was pretty damn sure that this was the Nero that they were looking for; was giving off the same light hum as Dante and Vergil, but it was more erratic. Actually it was quite similar to…”me. You’re just like me!”

Blah blah, demon-Sue has magical demon-sensing bullshit powers and she and Nero are one and the same. Hey, at least she’s not a witch, I’ll give her that much.

Alright, so let’s move on to the… Oh.

Shades: What?

I… I can’t riff the next two chapters.

Shades: Uh oh. Berserk button, again?

No, nothing like that. The next chapter is exactly what I just riffed, and the one after that is an author’s note that we’ve already seen. There’s nothing TO riff.

Shades: Huh.

…Well, that’s that, I guess.

Thanks for reading, folks, and stay tuned for next time! This may or may not have been my way of passing the time while the Kids and Co. held Sannabe prisoner on their ship, but sssshhhhhh, don’t tell anyone~! Probably get back to the usual business the week after next, depending on how long they hold Sannabe. Until then, I’m SC, and on behalf of Shades, I’ll see you next time!

…So, that’s my second ever Devil May Cry fic.

Shades: Well, this was an experience. So… now what?

I think Bifocals said she had something she wanted to try ou-

Bifocals, out in the hall: Oh, Scheiße, my finger slipped! No no no no no, do not charge the laser! Do not charge the-!

*A massive laser blasts through the riffing chamber door and nails Shades at center mass*

Holy fuck! Shades, are you alright?!

Shades: Did that little whore just fucking SHOOT ME?! Oh, that buggers it all! I am going to rip her FUCKING spine out through her… wait, is the room getting bigger or am I getting shorter?

Uh…

*Though initially gradual, Shades’ shrinking suddenly accelerates in a flash of light; once the light dissipates, her clothes lie in a bundle, and a small bump shuffles about beneath them, until it manages to free a small limb and pull the jacket and turtleneck off*

Bifocals: Shades! Shades, I am sorry! I did not mean to fire on you, I stubbed my toe and my finger slipped and… and… Uh.

*Sitting in the pile of clothing is Shades, but reverted back to her toddler self, looking about in confusion*

Baby Shades: …Buh?

… What … the crap?

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53 Comments on “1381: A Demonic Rose – Oneshot”

  1. AdmiralSakai says:

    Anabell will talk like this. Any talking she does is actually singing!

    I want to strangle her already.

    • batjamags says:

      It’s especially annoying because her dialogue is not any different from normal dialogue. There’s pretty much no way to sing it other than just kind of reciting it in a sing-song tone of voice.

      Protip for authors: If your character is supposed to be singing, give them an actual song, instead of just a font.

  2. batjamags says:

    Zings of pain

    Maybe those zings were caused by all those SHOTS FIRED!

    I’m sorry.

  3. Syl says:

    Shades: Makes me wonder what Booky might use, if he were a wand person.

    Oh, he’s a wand person. It’s not very visually impressive, but he does know how to use it properly. [sighs] Does he ever know how to use it.

  4. Addicted Reader says:

    black knee high heelless boots

    Now here’s why hyphens are important. I think this author meant “black knee-high low-heeled boots” which are actually practical. But without the hyphen, we end up with either what SC and Shades pictured above or boots with holes where there should be heels.

  5. Addicted Reader says:

    Also, second-person narration is the WORST!

  6. TacoMagic says:

    This is an issue that frequently gets on Taco’s nerves [snip]

    Mostly on point, but you neglected one small portion, which is the important point for me: You cannot absolve yourself of a crime simply by saying the original owner still owns the thing you’ve stolen.

    To put it in physical terms, a disclaimer is like a thief stealing a painting, putting it in their home, and putting a placard under it proclaiming that the item really belongs to the original owner.

    You can’t pretend you aren’t doing something illegal just by pointing out who the original owner of something is. I think that’s the biggest annoyance for me, the cluelessness behind disclaimers. Especially since the FF.net TOS explicitly says that you need the permission of the owner of the source material to use it. It’s like kids stealing candy from the store thinking that that bulk bins are free candy dispensers.

    It’s even worse that a lot of the fic writers who flip out on us tell us: “You can’t do that, you don’t have my permission!” Yeah, about that, Sparky.

    • SC says:

      Generally speaking, unless an author or content creator explicitly tells the site not to use their stuff, the consensus tends to be that they either have permission or the creators simply don’t mind that the fics exist (which is true, I’ve seen YouTube videos where content creators read fics of their stuff and have a blast with it), so it’s even pointless on the grounds that you’re likely not going to be sued in the first place.

      Look at friggin’ E. L. James, she wrote Twilight fanfiction, made it big, AND Stephanie Meyer jumped onboard as a fan.

  7. TacoMagic says:

    Anabell will talk like this. Any talking she does is actually singing!

  8. Everything else, you’re just borrowing for the tale. And if you don’t make up your own plot, then you only have about 1/4 claim. Everybody who reads or writes fanfiction knows this, or should know it.

    Cain: Sadly, it seems that most of FF falls under the latter group.

  9. TacoMagic says:

    She then proceeded to kick the doors open and fired a shot. Red splattered the wall as the bullet made contact, but the target wasn’t what the girl was expecting.

    Slowly an eye appeared in the hole in the pizza.

    She may have just shot pizza, but has she ever attempted to kill chocolate?

    • SC says:

      No but seriously, that chocolate was witchcraft. The mayor can’t be to blame for his actions, he was persuaded by devils. You all saw.

  10. TacoMagic says:

    The girl smirked and quickly drew a dagger from her sleeve, throwing it straight at Dante.

    Now you’ve done it, girly.

    BAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

    *GONG*

    Not Dante! The girl!

    Baaaa.

    I don’t care if he deserves it!

  11. TacoMagic says:

    “She doesn’t feel like a Demon Dante.”

    Shades: Nah, I’d categorize her more as a Werewolf Dante.

    I think even that’s being pretty generous on the Dante scale.

    She’s definitely not the Final Dante. More of Mid-Dante.

  12. "Lyle" says:

    and that second bit about the babysitting… yeah, got nothing.

    I think a line from another fic wiggled it’s way into this one and got lost. That’s the best explanation I’ve got for it.

    • SC says:

      Wow, when’d all these comments get here?

      Honestly, I don’t have any better an explanation for that line than you do.

  13. "Lyle" says:

    Rose raised an eyebrow but shook it off.

    I know false eye-lashes are a thing, but I thought girls without eyebrows drew them on, not pasted them on.

  14. "Lyle" says:

    A small cut opened on his thumb and Vergil ignored the blood, sheathing the katana and passing it over to Rose. “That’s a decent sword you have there. Although there is power in it.”

    Did he just get blood on her blade and not clean it off?! Rude!

    • Addicted Reader says:

      Actually, probably not. Small cuts from sharp blades usually don’t bleed right away. Which is good, because otherwise I’d have to throw out a whole lot of food …

      • SC says:

        And besides, even if he did bleed on it, that sword is an abomination against proud Japanese swordcraft. It deserves it.

      • GhostCat says:

        It says right there :points: that Vergil ignored the blood, which makes it sound like the cut had already started bleeding before he sheathed the blade.

      • SC says:

        Which, again, typical Vergil disdain. It ain’t his sword, why should he care if he gets it dirty?

      • Addicted Reader says:

        But the blood probably didn’t come out on the blade. Welled up on his finger a couple seconds later.

        • GhostCat says:

          But he didn’t sheathe the sword until after the blood appeared; if he’s got blood on his fingers then it’s going to get everywhere.

  15. "Lyle" says:

    Standing up from the ground was a 20 year old girl about 5’9″

    Our author is under the age of 18. This right here proves it. From experience (I was a derpy young teenager, after all) I can attest that girls under the age of adulthood rarely refer to young women as women. They label them “girl” even though a twenty-year-old is past the stage of “girl” and is actually a “woman” by that point.

  16. "Lyle" says:

    Blue boot cut jeans were tucked into black combat boots that stopped at the top of her shins.

    How can you mistake the purpose of fucking boot-cut jeans?! Holy fucking hell. This just annoys the shit out of me.

    THESE are boot-cut jeans:

    See how they’re flared? It’s so they can fit OVER your fucking boots! Bunching them up and shoving them INTO your boots is like wiping before you poop! It’s pointless and stupid!

    If you’re going to tuck your pants into your boots, wear fucking skinny jeans. It’s the ONLY purpose those pants have.

    • SC says:

      Unless you want to go for that kind of cool, “pants poof out of the boots” look that you see militaries do with their uniforms. But still not boot-cut jeans, and the pants only get like that from moving around a lot and gradually untucking anyhow.

  17. "Lyle" says:

    I almost think I should name this riff, “A Demonic Still-Not-A-Store Rose.”

    You mean I can’t buy a Demon Hunter at his store? Fucking worthless store.

  18. "Lyle" says:

    It was towards that city that they were making their way to.

    Woof.


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