There are oxygen masks under your seats in case you’re out of breath from the length of those nearly comma-less sentences.
So he’s assuming he’s being called in as a lover? That’s the best I can do to make sense of this.
“On what reason am I called, your highness?” Ryan bowed gingerly as she stood tall in a stance full of purpose.
She stood in a stance? Shit, I hope that doesn’t set off the DRD alarms.
::waits as silently as possible::
Seems we’re safe. That was pretty close, though.
“I need you to do something for me.” She said in a silky voice. “A favour.” she seemed cautious to ask.
An omniscient narrator shouldn’t use “seemed.” “Seemed to him” would be appropriate, because then his perception is being described. But objectively, either she was cautious or she wasn’t – the narrator should know.
“Anything, my mistress.” Ryan said letting excitement appear in his voice. He quickly cursed himself and looked serious once again.
What a kiss-ass. And it’s even creepier if he’s assuming he’s about to get laid.
“I need you to take Snow white far away, deep into the woods.” She said in full clarity not distracting herself on the guards obvious fallen face.
“in full clarity”? Is this some kind of British-ism I don’t know? The writer here uses a lot of odd phrasing, but this is the weirdest so far.
“But-but why?” he answered momentarily forgetting who he was talking to. “The king-“
“The king put me here as your only option for taking a lover, so let’s go ahead and get it on!”
“The king will find your body and will be served your heart if you do not do as I say.” She interrupted booming not afraid of her words. Ryan knew about her cruelness and dislike towards Snow white but he didn’t know how much until now.
That seems like a weird combination of threats. And does this king regularly eat the hearts of those who disobey? That’s a whole new level of creepy.
Unable to think of anything else coherent he nodded his head. “Yes mistress.” He sighed in defeat he was not going to win this argument. He couldn’t tell the king as Aurora had him wrapped around her little finger. And he couldn’t tell any of the other guards they would just end up telling the king; in fact he wasn’t fully sure they wouldn’t be mentioning this little meeting to him.
Where does this “wrapped around her little finger” come from? There’s been very little establishment of this. Being willing to be a little naughty is not the same as being willing to risk his job. And there’s been no mention so far of where the other guards are and of them knowing of this meeting. This author is very bad at establishing either spatial or personal relationships.
“And it will do you well if it is done before nightfall.” Aurora pushed in a harsh tone but something else was there- worry?
And that makes no sense. I’m not even going to bother.
“Of course.” Ryan said dipping his head and exiting. He slumped behind the door letting his conscience and his self-preservation have an argument amongst each other while his mind collapsed into an unthinking state.
Aren’t his conscience and his (sense of) self-preservation part of his mind? He’s clearly thinking of something while trying to decide what to do.
But I can understand shutting down the mind as a form of self-preservation. My mind keeps trying to shut down when I read this fic.
In the end he knew what his options were take snow white into the woods or be killed. And Ryan not essentially being a selfish creature for once had to let his love for life win this battle.
There’s no mention of killing Snow White and there’s no reason to assume he’s particularly fond of SW, so why is taking her for an unfriendly stroll going to be so hard for him? He can help her mark a trail back without anyone finding out if he’s really so soft-hearted as to want to follow orders without really abandoning her. But considering that she’s been known to spend time in the woods, is this even really such a dangerous thing for her?
Oh, the lack of sense. It’s getting to me. Good thing we’re done with this chapter!
See you next time, loyal fans.