1254: The Final Hunt – Chapters 14, 15 & 16Posted: December 1, 2015
Ert: Oh crap, THIS AGAIN!?
Seiko: *Shrugs* We couldn’t find anything else in time. There’s more than enough material here to get us through the week.
Shepard: Mind giving us a recap Ert?
Ert: Fine. A twat that calls himself Crow got sucked into the world of RWBY from Bloodborne. The portal was one of those physical alteration ones and the wheel hit on “age” and he was turned into a teenager so he could be a student at Vale Academy. This turned out to be pointless after he became a teacher in a couple of months and the author showed he didn’t know how lesson plans work in school as he started his plans in the middle of the school year. The Vilebloods from Bloodborne are doing something but it’s so vague they might as well be running around saying, “Oggie boogie,” for all the good it does them. And Crow refuses to have social interaction whenever possible and keeps secrets from everyone because he’s a twat. Also, in general the world of RWBY has been getting the shaft to build up how awesome Bloodborne is
The coffin was filled with darkness to the brawler’s eyes, it was calling out to her.
Shepard: Just to make sure I’m reading that correctly, it’s dark to her eyes only?
Ert: There’s potential in an area that’s only dark to some people, but I doubt this story meant to do that.
Hesitantly, she reached her hand inside the gaping coffin. She felt the cold darkness wrapping around her arm. Despite feeling uncomfortable it felt… safe. She delved her hand in the dark there she felt something soft with the smell of blood and gunpowder.
Seiko: She…FELT something with the smell of blood and gunpowder. Something she can’t see, therefore she can’t be certain that it’s what she’s smelling. Yang is acting like a bit of a bimbo and I’m pretty sure she’s not supposed to be.
“What is that?” the fanus questioned while looking at the object
“I think it’s a journal”the heiress answered, when the journal was opened the three gathered around Yang
“Ew it smells” Ruby added
Shepard: See now it makes sense because Ruby can see it and clearly identify the source of the scent.
I don’t know how long it had been sine I am trapped in this wretched city. So far as I know Yharnam is a dreary city that can use some damn sunlight, not to mention people in this city are plain insane having those things put in a cross and burning it and walking around with pitchforks. This place makes my home look like a church in comparison. This place is mad enough to make a stuffed bird laugh. I came to this city because I heard of the miraculous medicine I heard about back home, now I know it was more than I bargained for.
Ert: You know, that journal entry could use a little bit more of an introduction than just jumping into it, even if there is a scene divider that just can’t be transferred into wordpress. Also “Makes my home look like a church in comparison,” isn’t a very good comparison, it just sounds kinda off.
Seiko: Also I like how Crow needs to remind himself why he went to Yharnam in the first place. Perfect for anyone who wants to read his journal to find out about him because he’s being a shut in. It’s kind of OOC for him when you think about it,
“Um anyone heard about this ‘miraculous’ medicine?”
“I didn’t hear about a new medicine being developed and what does he mean by things? Is he talking about the grimms?” the heiress answered, the four tried their best to read the writing.
Shepard: Tried their best? I guess he’s got sloppy handwriting.
Today I met a fellow hunter from the healing church named Eileen. She is a foreigner from outside world, I don’t know why she would come into this damned city. Well as long as she stays out of my way I think I can get along with her.
Ert: Me being the charming asshole that I am. *Sigh* Really is a shame we got stuck with Crow instead of Eileen. And author, constantly having Crow bring up Eileen doesn’t make them have a deep meaningful relationship, especially when half of the time Crow is being a dick.
Her outfits and her blades are certainly foreign I wouldn’t mind having that sword for my self. I can’t shake off the feeling that I’ll be seeing her more. Maybe it’s just my wishful thinking, she’s one of the few that didn’t try to kill me on sight.
Ert: Much to our eternal displeasure.
“Eileen… why does that name sounds so familiar?” Blake asked
“Gehrman said that Eileen was his mentor” her partner answered her question, a slight bitterness could be felt through her voice
Shepard: Wait, first Yang determined something’s smell through touch, now everyone else is determining bitterness in her voice through touch? I’m so horribly confused. Does the author know how the senses work?
Seiko: Doesn’t seem so, does it?
I’m not sure how long it has been since Eileen’s death the only thing I have that reminds me of her is the eye patch she has given me. I feel guilty knowing that I have lied to her.
Ert: Could you maybe establish the fact that Yang is moving onto a new entry? Or is this the most brief journal in history? Also, oh sure you felt guilty about lying back then, but you still made a fucking habit out of it.
Maybe she feels better knowing that I have carried the burden of responsibility as she did no matter how hard is for me to kill my fellow hunters. I bet they were ready for it anyways I wonder when my time will come. Perhaps it’ll be better than waking in the dream again.
Shepard: So he spells out his own motivation for coming to the city but he decides to play it vague when it comes to the Hunter’s Dream, which was directly connected to the contract that he made and is keeping him in the city. This journal is awfully inconsistent.
As she flipped more pages the writing became messier and incomprehensible.
Ert: I know it’s a thing in Lovecraft to have people who are going nuts from Eldritch related activities to become less and less coherent, but here’s the problem. Crow is perfectly coherent and has been ever since he arrived in the world of RWBY. You can’t just shake off Lovecraft induced insanity like that.
“So any of you guys know what’s he talking about” all three shook their head to Yang’s question
“Well why don’t we go and ask him?” Ruby suggested
Seiko: I’m sorry, you’re going to ask the chronic liar and secret hoarder to tell the truth? Are you stupid or do you just suffer from short term memory loss?
“If he’s awake…” her sister added solemnly
The hunter opened his eyes, it was a white room unlike the infirmary in Beacon it was different.
Ert: Uh, it’s different how…wait.
Ert: DON’T GO DOWN THAT ROAD WITH ME FIC! I’M NOT IN THE MOOD!
As he regained his conscious he saw someone unfamiliar sitting on a chair next to him. It took him a moment to realize he was lying in the bed with a new eye patch as the fabric was softer and smelled different than the smell of blood he was used to.
Shepard: I remember Bloodborne managed to make working blood into absolutely everything actually feel natural. When this author does it, it’s rather forced.
The doctor next to him had long flowing blond hair, instead of exuberant purple eyes he was used to seeing it was a tranquil light blue eyes.
Seiko: And how are you used to seeing Yang’s eyes in a nurse? Did that transformation addle your thinking process?
“How are you feeling Gehrman?” the voice was soft and easy to the ears,
“Who are you?”
“My name is Meredith Grey and you’re at Vale Hospital”
“Why am I here?”
“You were injured, do you remember anything before being unconscious?”
Ert: I answered two of your questions, actually answer one of mine now.
“Not much only that I…” the raven hunter stopped before he could finish his sentence “no I don’t remember anything”
Seiko: Is he a crow or a raven? They’re different animals story, make up your mind!
Ert: And once again he keeps secrets because he needs to feel special.
“Well let me just say that you are very lucky to be alive. I think you’re the first to gain consciousness this fast”
Shepard: This is a very confusing and probably meaningless sentence.
(Gary Stu Counter: 32)
“Are any others injured?” the doctor let out an amuse laugh
“You were in a near death state and you’re worried about others?”
Ert:…I hate this doctor. Apparently worrying about others is an alien concept to her.
“My well being is no longer a concern to me”
Seiko: And the reason for the doctor’s inability to comprehend compassion and concern for others is so Crow can make an utterly emo comment.
“Well it is to me. You know how long it took me to stitch you back up?”
‘Despite his wound healed itself … seriously Ozpin where do you find these kids?’
Shepard: And she’s not telling him this why? Turnabout?
“Thank you doctor” the hunter replied curtly
“Alright Gehrman I’m going to perform a treatment. I need you to relax your muscles” the hunter’s hand twitched slightly
“Doctor what are you going to do?”
“It’s just a quick check up, just close your eyes it’ll be over quickly”
Seiko: That’s not what you said. You said that you were performing a treatment. What are you treating?
“But-” Crow closed his eyes waiting for the treatment,
“No buts, besides It won’t take long so it’ll be fine”
‘Sorry kid Ozpin wants to be done secretly’
Shepard: I think this really is turnabout.
As for the doctor she delved into the hunter’s memory.
Ert: Because, apparently, she can do that. Look I’m not against the prospect of that being someone’s semblance, but you need to build up to that shit.
Before she could her semblance wasn’t able to delve into his mind. The only thing she was able to get a glimpse of was a dark city with no hope and crushing despair.
Ert: Ugh. Yharnam really is like that but the way it’s worded makes it feel so shallow.
Not wanting to give up she braced her self to enter his mind once more. This time she saw images of unspeakable gore along with unimaginable monsters flayed across her mind. She felt the hidden wrath and blood thirst that had hidden within the hunter.
Shepard: Isn’t this the same wrath and blood thirst that seems to come and go like the wind?
Never seeing such carnage just from his sub conscious’
she stopped her treatment to regain her senses. It was like seeing a whole other person.
“Is there something wrong doctor?”
Seiko: Apparently you’re a little psychopath. Well some of the times anyway.
“It… it went well” the hunter had noticed her skin has gone pale
“Are you sure? Your skin looks rat-” his hand was slapped away , the gentle blue eyes trembled.
“I’m fine, I-I… I need to go check on other patients excuse me”
Ert: So despite wanting answers, Crow is slapped away and not getting the answers he wants. Pardon me, I want to savor this moment, I doubt Crow will ever appreciate the irony of the situation.
Alone in his room. He contemplated his situation so far. He didn’t know why the Cainhurst were after him and the best guess was that it was meant for revenge.
Ert: Revenge for what exactly?
He had to end this problem without anyone else getting hurt between.
Ert: Yes yes, reaffirm your hatred for human contact.
Even if he had to give his own life he wouldn’t hesitate to do it. If death was the only thing that would end his nightmare he would have gladly done it. A noble death didn’t seem like a much of a bad choice as it could be a way to mend his mistakes.
Shepard: I don’t think we even know what his mistakes are. So honestly this just comes off as an excuse for Crow to angst. And you need GOOD reasons for a person to angst, otherwise it just comes off as meaningless noise, especially if they do it constantly.
Looking around his hand twitched slightly itching to do something other than being cooped up inside a room. He looked out to the window to see the sun setting slowly while a cool breeze swept through him.
‘I suppose a walk would fare well…’
Seiko: The doctor probably should’ve told you if you should’ve stayed in bed or not, but clearly, no one in this story knows how to handle anything with any level of responsibility.
Outside the hospital there was a garden with colorful flowers while patients and visitors leisurely strolled without a care in the world, the brightly lit the colorful garden was swarmed with cool wind while carrying sweet scent of flowers . It was a view that he wasn’t used to at all but it was much welcomed, yet uneasiness still lingered on. The view was peaceful perhaps too peaceful for the hunter. As he searched for a secluded area he could feel the people’s eye gazing upon him suspiciously and with slight disgust.
“Isn’t that the boy who was rushed into the hospital few days ago?”
“Yes I heard, by Oum look at his body it’s like a scratching post for the grimms”
“Hideous isn’t it?”
Ert: Point and stare! We need to make him feel bad about himself! It contradicts the way people have been treating him up until now? Doesn’t matter! It Crow feel sorry for self time!
Soon his light walk turned into a dash to get away from the visitors and patients alike. Eventually he found himself an area away from the main garden.
“The things you hunt they’re not beasts, they’re people”
The hunter’s hand was full of calluses and scars, it was odd to see his hand without his gloves or covered in blood as he was used to seeing.
“Rancid beasts, every last one of us…”
Ert: And that’s a quote directly from the game. It really says a lot that when the author takes quotes from the game and makes it look like his own character is saying them, it comes off more as a thirteen year old trying to be edgy. Mainly because Bloodborne was about deep enthralling atmosphere and not just saying, “everything sucks” over and over again.
He closed his eyes and felt the wind brushing on him. It all felt like a dream, sitting on a bench relaxing and bathing in the incandescent sun. The breeze unlike in Yharnam was gentle with the gentle scent from the flowers.
Shepard: Ok, I’m pretty sure the wind in Yharnam wouldn’t have been that different from a gentle breeze in the world of RWBY provided Yharnam wasn’t up north.
It didn’t smell as sweet from the dream but it felt… real.
Seiko: Words that sound pretty but do they mean anything?
Realizing that the sun began to set he stood up to go back to his hospital room. Upon seeing the garden only few people reside in the garden. There he saw a child kneeling wearing a familiar red dress in front of him, the red cape fluttered in the evening wind. A gentle smiled formed on his face, he continued to watch as she picked the flowers.
Ert: I’m sorry, it still pisses me off how Crow keeps calling Ruby a child. She’s fought against monsters and terrorists, show her a little fucking respect please.
“Gehrman?” the pale skinned child muttered the name when she turned
“Hello Ruby, I’m happy that you aren’t injured” the hunter made a gentle smile, he saw her the silver eyes gleaming in tears.
Shepard: *Cocks head* Say what now?
“It’s you… right?”
“Yes it’s me, I know what you saw back then, I know you want answers an-“
Seiko: You’re not getting any because of reasons that I can’t tell you because they don’t exist.
He was cut off by a tight hug and a muffled sob. He tenderly stroke her red hairs until the crying stopped
Ert: Aw, Ruby is concerned for the safety of this twit even though she has no reason to be. FEEL THINGS!
Hey all! I’m back, I’ll try to pick up the pace for the lost time so expect more. I am not dead and this story is not abandoned!
Chapter 15: Sweet Poison
“What do you mean he went out for a walk!” while Yang was holding up the doctor her teammates tried their best to stop the brute of course it was easier said than done
“He checked out fine and he wanted some fresh air! Oh Oum please don’t kill me !” the golden locks began to flare like a fire engulfing a forest
Ert: Golden locks? I know the author was trying to talk about Yang’s hair but I’m going to be an asshole and assume that there’s a pile of hair in the corner because the author didn’t establish possession.
“He was out for two weeks and three days! What kind of doctor are you!”
“I’m her intern!”
Shepard: I don’t see how this makes it better. You still left your patient unattended right after he woke up.
“Yang this isn’t gonna help!”
“For once I agree with Weiss!”
“Aren’t you guys worried about him? For all we know he could be dead now!”
Ert: *Snort* Don’t you have any idea how straining walking is? I’m sorry, maybe I’d find this less hilarious if we didn’t know that Crow was perfectly fine.
“We are worried him but Yang right now we’re worried about you!” the heiress was swinging left and right due to the brute’s force, the fanus didn’t fare better either. The room itself was a pandemonium. Ruby and Crow who just happened to arrive in the room admist the chaos watched. The room suddenly fell silent.
Seiko: Well glad to see Yang isn’t just blowing her top over nothing. How much you wanna bet she walks into a room where Crow was ten minutes ago, and then losses her mind thinking he’s dead, even though he just went to the bathroom.
“Hey… Gehrman” As soon he was released from the fiery grip the intern ran like he never did before.
“I won’t lie any longer, you may ask whatever you desire”
Ert: I’ll believe it when I see it.
the blond took no time to ask but the heiress was faster
“Who are those people coming after you?” she asked as if this was an interrogation
“They are the Cainhurst knights, but they are nothing but bloodthirsty killers”
Ert: FUCK YOU! I know the Vilebloods get a bad rap because they’re the one covenant that invades people who haven’t done anything to warrant being attacked, but there’s more to them than that.
“Cainhurst how come I never heard of them before?”
“That’s because…” the hunter sighed then turned to the heiress”They don’t exist in this world as well as Yharnam”
Seiko: It just occurred to me that Crow is being difficult here. He could just come out and explain everything from the top, but no, he wants them to work every last tidbit of information out of him. Also…they exist in this world. We saw them. Crow should be saying that they came from another world, but he’s being vague and poetic because getting information across accurately isn’t deep or something, I don’t know.
“How can we believe that? For all we know you’re lying to us”
“Weiss he turned into a monster right in front of us don’t you think that’s enough?”
Ert:….NO! Weiss has a very good point. He has made a habit about lying through his teeth every time. He’s telling the truth now? Well there’s a reason “The Boy Who Cried Wolf,” exists. Plus transforming into giant monster = city that does not exist in this dimension. Good logic.
she turned to notice the hunter had a crestfallen expression “No! What I meant it was a cool monster, no! It didn’t look like a monster at all!”
Seiko: If it quacks we call it a duck.
Shepard: Also it’s kind of inconsistent for Crow to say he’s stained with the blood of innocent and doesn’t care if he dies, but also still gets sad when he’s called a monster. I mean which is it?
“No need to worry about it, after all that is what I am.”
“So how did you arrive to Remnant?” the fanus asked to change the subject
“To explain that I need you to tell how I arrive in Yharnam in the first place”
Ert: Yeah, this is where you should’ve started you melodramatic douche-guzzler. And upon that, we get a flashback.
“Well you’ve come to the right place, Yharnam is the home of blood ministration” upon his view was a man in a wheel chair, the old man reeked of alcohol and trash.
Seiko: Alcohol has a very distinct scent, but trash? Little vague there buddy, mind getting more specific?
The old man had a pale skin with a old bandage pasted to his eye, his white beard was stained with yellow and emanated a stench of strong alcohol.
Shepard: Didn’t it already say that he smelled of alcohol ten seconds ago?
The younger man fidgeted the needle that was stuck in his vein. Upon hearing the miracles of the blood has spread people from around the world came to the city in search of the miracle cure, but not many people came back with the medicine let alone their lives. However it was risk that Crow was willing to take he would bring the cure home no matter the cost.
Seiko: Taking the cure home? You’d think the reader would’ve benefited from knowing this earlier.
“This way I can get the blood vials right?”
“You can but they don’t fancy an outsider like yourself”
“Then how the hell am I going to get it?” Gehrman asked angrily
“Easy now, with a bit of Yharnam blood of your own you won’t be noticed that easily”
“Easily? This better work old man”
Ert: I’d say that Crow was a disrespectful little shit, but “was” implies that he grew out of it.
“The Yharnamites have a keen sense of smell but this should help, now did you sign the contract?”
“Yea, it’s right there” the old wheel chair creaked as the wheel turned toward the table where the contract lied
“Good, your contract seems good all signed and sealed”
Ert: You know, in game the signing of the contract was kept deliberately vague, to the point where they never even named the person who you made the contract with. I have to say, the author isn’t doing a very good job filling in the blanks.
“I need the blood vials more than anyone in that damn place, this damn blood better work…”
Seiko: Of course you do. You’re special.
(Gary Stu Counter: 33)
“Be careful what you wish for young man” the bearded man cooed his patient “Oh don’t you worry, whatever happens… you may all think all a mere bad dream” as the bearded man chuckled as the outsider slowly drifted into unconsciousness.
Ert: I remember when that line about dreaming was a massive piece of foreshadowing about the dream world of Bloodborne. For the record it’s a very Lovecraft take on dream worlds, meaning the dreams are very real and that the dream world is even merging with the real world. What does that mean? I don’t know. I imagine that’s the point.
“Why did you need the medicine?” the fanus asked
“It was for someone,or something. I can’t remember very well but I do remember it was utmost important”
Shepard: Wait. He can remember the scene where he made the contract, to the point where he can remember his exact thought process at the time, but he can’t remember his motivation for getting the cure (Which he should be referring to as Paleblood by the way, because that’s what the cure was called.)? His memory is awfully selective.
Seiko: And you think he’d be able to put two and two together and make the logical conclusion that it probably had something to do with the beast plague.
“Do you know why?”
“No, I wish I knew my self. Maybe then I could stop my foolish self from all of this” he chuckled heavily
Ert: Because you not being around would stop all of the shit that goes wrong in Bloodborne. the Formless Odeon’s plans would’ve ground to a halt without you you self important twat.
As the new hunter opened his eyes he was greeted with a monster with no skin but made of mass of meat with the stench of rotting meat.
Ert: Writing 101, avoid using the same word twice in a sentence unless it’s absolutely needed.
His mind kept telling him to move but his body didn’t follow the command. The monster looked similar to a wolf but it was covered in pool of blood lying below it. As the creature made its way to the outsider it revealed a jagged sharp claws enough to rip a man in a single effortless swipe. Crow’s mouth couldn’t move but his mind kept screaming telling the beast to keep away. Before he could be consumed or worse the beast was engulfed in flames and let out a ghastly scream he never heard from an animal.
Seiko: Hey Crow, how does a scene that never even made sense in game needed to understand who you are and where you came from?
Ert: SHUT UP! I’M HAVING A MOMENT !
Not able to catch a break he was now surrounded by white humanoid creatures that began to climb and crawl on top of his body. His breath began to feel shallow his brain tried its best to understand what was going on. Before he would go unconscious once more a soft female’s voice echoed in the dark dank room.
“Ahh you’ve found yourself a hunter”
Shepard: I think the story is retreading the opening of Bloodborne in its entirety. For some reason. It’s not exactly giving Crow new character; it’s just explaining the opening of Bloodborne. I don’t think people who didn’t know Bloodborne’s opening would’ve made it this far. So I’m not sure what the purpose of this is.
Ert: So much is dedicated to Crow just waking up in and wandering around the hunter’s dream seeing bits from the game in the next few paragraphs that I’m just skipping over them.
The rookie hunter made his way to the house there was another old man in a wheel chair but this time he had no beard nor any vitality left in him as the last aged man had. He wore and old tattered clothing along with a dirty red scarf. Crow tip toed in front of the unconscious man slowly trying not to make a sound.
Shepard: Is there any reason he’s being so quiet? Is he thinking “I’m in an otherworldly realm and I don’t know what’s going on but I don’t want to wake him up.”
This time the old hunter he was being closer had a scent he never smelled before… something so foreign yet so oddly familiar
Ert: Another thing the game did better, bringing up the concept of scents. It was kept vague and only mentioned scarcely. Not every two seconds.
‘is he dead? chr-‘
“Aha… you must be the new hunter” the old man spoke softly
“Who are you?”
Seiko: I blandly said, not reacting at all to the person I thought was dead suddenly speaking.
“I am…” the gray skinned man licked his lips, his eyes were dull blue “Gehrman friend to you hunters”
“Wait that he’s also named Gehrman?”
Ert: It’s stupid I know.
“N-no I took that name because… I no longer remember my name”
Seiko: And coming up with a new one would’ve been really hard.
Ert: I knew this would get fucking confusing.
“How can you just forget your name? That’s just ridiculous”
“Weiss” Ruby chided her partner
“When you live in a world where you can lose yourself at any moments, sanity, were the only thing I sought”
Ert: Normally I would agree with you, but the fact that you’re pulling out so many memories with such precision I’m calling it bullshit.
Seiko: Sanity and what? What else did you seek? And isn’t forgetting your name a good sign that your sanity isn’t doing to well
“Lose yourself don’t you mean…” the heiress trailed off not able to finish the sentence
“No if you die in the waking world, you only get sent back to this place where where you can go back to the wak- I mean the real world.” Crow pointed at his neck where a thin scar circled his whole neck, a clear sign of decapitation, then he pulled down the collar where a bullet hole as well, some were small and thing from blades others were more grotesque from the beats. Either way his body was covered in scars “Every time you perish the last thing that kills you becomes a scar”
Ert: Something that the author purely made up. It’s not a bad idea but I wish it had more going for it than just giving more angst to a person that already had way too fucking much.
“So all those scars…” he simply nodded to Yang
“Each time I get sent back from the dream I would lose part of myself without my knowledge. The hunt made me into a mindless killer.
Shepard: A claim that doesn’t really match up with the countless flashbacks we’ve been getting.
Seiko: Yeah, he started the hunt as a whiny brat who liked to make sarcastic comments and he’s still just that.
The worst part is that I enjoy the thrill of the hunt, the feeling of my blade sinking into their flesh,slaughtering my preys with no shred of mercy” the hunter’s face darkened with a guilt “The worst part is that they were once human”
Ert: Again, something we’re told about but not really shown. The author really is trying too hard to make Crow an anti-hero. Because
“They were…” Ruby trailed off her sentence not being able to finish the sentence
“Despite knowing that I was intoxicated by the hunt in the future.
Shepard: I think time just inverted on itself.
It is still a constant battle within my self trying to stay away from my blood lust, I think back and realize how much of a monster I was I still am.” the murderer looked up with a face of a prisoner, all of the huntress’s gaze was upon the corrupted hunter each of them judging him in their own way.
Ert: Oh for the love of God, there aren’t enough fucking violins in the world for this guy.
“I can’t ask forgive the rest depends on you”
Ozpin entered the room before anyone could answer along with his secretary.
Seiko: Oh don’t bother padding this out, we all know you can’t honestly bring anyone to hate your Stu.
Ert: And he said he would tell them how he came to be in this world. Looks like Crow is STILL a fucking liar. You think he would tell them about the Old Ones and the threat they pose instead of whining about how tragic he is.
“Gehrman how are you feeling?”
“Better than before headmaster”
“Good, the doctor told you can check out” Ozpin handed Crow his tattered armor that was folded neatly and his blade cleaner than before as well as his mask “We have something to discuss in the academy”
Ert: I’m really straining myself to find dialogue that isn’t horribly awkward and I’m coming up with nothing.
“Of course” the hunter darkened as a criminal facing a charge
“Team RWBY follow me you there’s something that needs to be discussed”
“Did I misspoke miss Xiao Long?” the glare from the blond witch was colder than the winter ocean, engulfing any hope
Ert: Yes. Just now.
Shepard: “Colder than the winter ocean, engulfing any hope.” Wow. That prose could not be anymore purple.
Seiko: Now come along girls, we need to let the tension that absolutely no one is feeling fester.
Before team RWBY would leave the hospital room Yang walked up to Crow, the soothing lavender met with the troubled eyes of the victim.
Ert: Purple. Very purple.
She quickly grabbed the collar of the hospital gown and leaned in for a kiss like a sweet poison spreading through the wine.
Ert: WHAT WINE!? Author just because it sounds nice doesn’t mean it actually MEANS anything.
Crow’s body stiffened and his eye wide as the kiss continued. The victim was paralyzed enough to not notice there was only two huntsmen left in the room.
Shepard: I have no idea what’s going on. Did everyone just leave because of how painfully awkward this was. I don’t blame them but you need to clarify things like this.
Hello! It’s been a while hasn’t it? Hopefully I can pick up the story’s pace, I was thinking about a Halloween specials when the time comes, ideas from you guys would be wonderful to hear.
Ert: Knock off the purple prose, have Crow stop whining, let a RWBY character actually do something, for a start.
Chapter 16: Festival?
“Why won’t you let me do it? That is the only option!”
“How do you know this will permanently stop your enemies?” Ozpin gave a cold look to the angered hunter
“Why you” he paused to regain his composure “- you are correct. Forgive me I was being brash”
Seiko: Ah, we haven’t seen one of these in awhile. A dramapology. When someone gets mad and then apologizes two seconds later to avoid any real conflict.
“You have been through enough Gehrman why not rest for a while? we will deal with this problem when it comes up again”
“Headmaster how can you be so relax about this?” Crow asked with irritation
Ert: Well you’ve been constantly paranoid about it and that hasn’t exactly gotten you anywhere.
“This is a time of peace and a festival is drawing near if you didn’t know”
Shepard: Ozpin is not this stupid. He deals with threats, its just that he prefers to do it in more subtle ways.
“A festival?” he gritted his fangs to suppress his anger “A bloody festival is keeping you from saving lives?”
“This is a time of peace, what will happen if the news of external threat spread?” Ozpin coldly replied
Shepard: Like this. Except he’d actually have a plan for sending a small team out to secretly deal with the problem.
The classroom was quiet unlike usual with the sound of students fooling around, the professor was on his desk sharpening his blades with a mix of angst and brood all wrapped in silent sheet of wrath,
Ert: OH! MY! FUCKING! CHRIST! First of all, enough with the goddamn prose. Your character is a whiny twat author, and you constantly throwing in words like “wrath,” isn’t going to change it. Also, angst and brood? I’M GLAD WE AGREE ON THAT! CAN WE MOVE ON FROM IT!?
one would have thought he was preparing for a killing spree or worse. The classroom was deathly silent with the sound of pencil scribbling being engulfed by the repeated sharpening. The murderous aura the hunter tried to conceal choked the students in his classroom without him noticing. No one dared to utter a single word.
Shepard: All I can think about the fact that this guy is still a teacher after his outburst. And now he’s just sitting on his desk sharpening his knives like a psychopath? This really is a textbook example of a fan fiction author’s favorite character getting away with everything and never having to face consequences for their actions.
“Psst Fox, hey Fox!” … except one
“What?” he whispered to his partner sharply “Do you have a death wish right now?”
“Is it me or does Gehrman look more depressing as usual?”
Ert: Make that sentence grammatically correct and then get back to me. Also who’s talking?
“You mean prof-” Fox flinched by the slight whistle made by Gehrman’s throwing knife missing by a few inch.
“Mister Alistair may I ask what you were discussing about? I believe I said absolute silence” the unarmed huntsmen pointed at his brunette partner
Seiko: Fired. He would be fired, and most likely arrested for assault on a student. He missed on purpose? Yeah, here’s an idea. Go to a school and throw a knife at someone with the intention to miss. See what happens author.
Shepard: Also I THINK he was trying to say that the student was unharmed. Either that or he wanted to point out that the student was unarmed, which really doesn’t paint Crow in a good light. Also what professor just has his students sit and do nothing while he sits and broods?
“Coco needed help so I was about to help her” the brunette froze in fear, his crimson eye pierced into the shades but softened soon after
“I see… then carry on” the blind hunter went back to his seat with each step being heavier and his back slumped, he continued to sharpen his blade with an irritated expression.
Ert: Fucking students. Being in class and expecting me to teach them.
The chime of the bell released the tension in the classroom and the students left as fast as they could hoping to avoid the hunter’s wrath.
Ert: I really wish we could get a Bloodborne character in here but we’re so backed up here that I’m just going to have to get a first hand experience with what we’ve got. So. *Dons tri-croner hat* I will be making a trip to Yharnam. I will make a contract and become a Hunter. Hopefully my brain will not crack like a rotten egg. Nora, take over for me. Goeth you got a way to get there?
Goeth: I may have an inter-dimensional portal. Remember the one Subject 23 STOLE FROM ME!? Yeah I got one. In you go champ!
Ert: Ok so this is going to land me in a safe place ri-*ZAP*
Nora: Is he going to be ok?
The absence of noise did nothing to mend Gehrman’s temper. He entered the halls and made his way to the courtyard to clear his mind as the view of moonless skies always did. Every student stood out of the hunter’s way as usual out of fear.
Nora: This is business as usual huh? I swear, Crow is bipolar as written by a person who doesn’t realize he’s writing a bipolar character and doesn’t understand how bipolar disorder works.
Searching for anywhere that could give him peace of mind, the halls had bats on the ceiling along with fake cobwebs and other decorations.
Shepard: Uh, I understand using RWBY characters to celebrate Halloween, but I don’t see the world of RWBY celebrating All Hallows Eve.
Outside the halls it was the normal court yard he was used to. The statue of gargoyles dutifully watched over the school on the rooftop and tombstones lied peacefully in the grass areas with skeletal hands sticking out of the grave along with pumpkins that with carved faces. Nothing seemed out of ordinary for the hunter except some few posters which he ignored unintentionally.
Seiko: The Hunter’s Dream was an eerily interesting place and oddly comforting. This guy is turning it into his emo roost.
Nora: And just for the record, Ert has struggled with depression and he still feels comfortable calling Crow Emo.
‘Those bloody Cainhursts… I will make them wish they could die’ in midst of his thoughts he stopped to see the courtyard bustling with activities
Nora: The author arbitrarily decided that I was a psychopath again.
In the court yard students gathered in groups chatting after a hard day of classes, some were heading back to their dorms to rest others headed for the bullhead to spend their free time in the city.
Shepard: Shouldn’t there be an easier way to get to the city outside of airlifting the students?
Soon Gehrman noticed the blond huntress in a group of students talking and laughing casually as if nothing was wrong, he found himself observing closely within the pillars of outside halls. Her golden locks shined vibrantly, her pink tender lips bloomed like a flower, exuberant lilac eyes full of energy, smooth silk skin free of any scars. And best of all, her determination and confidence that he admired. Every hunters in Yharnam accepted the inevitably of one’s mind consumed by the hunt as is the cycle. He silently chuckled imagining Yang as a hunter of Yharnam.
Nora: Yang as a Yharnam hunter. A story that sounds infinitely more interesting than this one.
Seiko: For all the pretty words he’s using, I think he just wants to plow her.
‘Oh the chaos she would ensue… gods forbid’ as he continued to stare their eyes met for a moment. He quickly left the hall somewhere where he could find solitude a place to clear the blond huntress out of his mind. Since this is all he could do admire from far, never to reach completely.
Nora: Even though he already opened up to her, for some reason he’s keeping his distance now. Because this guy’s motivations change every three seconds.
This was something he was content with, as long as he stayed away from people he cared about the less danger they will be in.
Seiko: That’s garbage reasoning, it always has been in every form of media. The Vilebloods are coming to Remanent. They’re not going to ignore Team RWBY because you’ve been emotionally distant.
That is why Gehrman would avoid the huntress as much as he could despite how much she’ll hate him in return.
Shepard: Then leave this school for good. Go far away and never come back. Don’t be a tease and hang just out of sight. Rip the bandage off. Except you won’t. Because we all know for all his talking about staying away from Yang, he won’t actually commit because the author won’t actually commit to that, and this is all false drama building up to a painfully sappy reunion.
He knows how strong she is and would soon forget the old hunter and move on just like everyone else would. Unknowingly the withered crow traced his lips where the blond beauty’s lip met. Yang was like a delicate flower to the hunter, beautiful and even enchanting but never to touch as the slightest would make the flower wither.
Nora: Crow is a prick. He keeps treating everyone in the world or RWBY like they’re idiots/little girls that he needs to protect. Despite everything they’ve been through. A real lack of respect on Crow’s part and the author’s part.
“Headmaster, is something wrong?” a familiar presence behind made him stop in middle of his thoughts
“It seems like I can never catch you off guard can I?”
“I apologize about that, I always expect a knife in the back even now”
Seiko: Oh shut up.
(Gary Stu Counter: 34)
“No need to apologize Gehrman, I’m here to ask you about the ball that will be held soon”
“A ball? I was not notified of that” Ozpin chuckled how predictable the hunter could be at times
Shepard: Seriously, how does he still have a job. He knows absolutely nothing about what he’s actually doing.
“That’s why I’m here and I suppose you didn’t notice the decorations”
“The decorations? Oh… yes you are correct. So what did you need to ask me about?”
“Have you ever heard of Halloween?”
(One long explanation later)
Shepard: The history part must’ve been confusing, considering Christianity doesn’t exist in RWBY.
“It is mandatory?” the anti-social asked
“All teachers have to attend tonight”
“But the threat of the-” the headmaster cut off his colleague
“As the headmaster of Beacon that is an order”
Seiko: Oh what were you going to do? Run around the town at night and hope you would catch them? Because it worked so well the last few times you tried it. And question, what’s keeping the Vilebloods from attacking during the day? When you’re sitting on a desk feeling sorry for yourself and threatening students because “humor.”
“I do not even have a costume and costume is mandatory is it not?” the killjoy hopefully asked, strangely Ozpin smiled in return and held out a costume from behind, a costume that would crush one’s pride into small tiny bits to the point a microscope is needed.
Shepard: The emotional whiplash in this story is dizzying.
Good to see you all again, well expect a halloween special soon! Also anyone saw the vol.3 teaser? Holy crap it looks amazing! Anyways until then I’ll see you guys later in the next chapter. What should Gehrman wear for halloween? Ideas would be great.
Nora: He’s already a walking joke, have him go as that. Wow this story is painful. There’s one more chapter but we’re going to wait for the author to get another chapter or two up so that the next snarking will have some more meat to it.
Goeth: Wait a minute…Ert’s coming back already.
Ert: THE MOON! THE MOON HAS EYES! LOOKING AT ME! THEY’RE ALL LOOKING AT ME!
Goeth: *Whistles* lightweight.