1238: The Marrissa Games – Chapter ThreePosted: November 15, 2015
Title: The Marissa Games
Author: Marissa the Writer
Media: Books/Movies/Video Games
Topic: The Hunger Games / Portal
Genre: Not Listed
URL: Chapter Three
Critiqued by agigabyte and Ghostcat (with special guests Goddess, Cain, and Syl)
Cain: Welcome back! I’m here with Goddess, Syl, and Ghostie. agig refuses to come back, Sem is still riffing Truth or Dare Surprise, and Dakota is doing my paperwork for me, so that leaves *Sigh* Goddess.
Goddess: I’m not that bad. *Sees look of incredulity on Cain’s face* Okay, yeah, I’m that bad.
Syl: You say that like it’s a negative thing.
Cain: It is. I swear, you two drive me insane…
Syl: Something tells me it was a fairly short trip.
Goddess: *Types something down on her datapad* I need to save that joke you just made.
Cain: Damnit. I don’t need to deal with both of you, and this fic.
Chapter 4: DRUGS ON A TRAIN
No, this isn’t a copy of the previous chapter.
Cain: I’m pretty sure this is less creative than Primrose wording.
Ghostie: The fact that she feels the need to point that out troubles me.
NHOBODY GOTTED THE SUPISE TWIST SO ILL MAKE IT MORE CLEER NOW.
Cain: It was already pretty clear that you’re a bad writer.
Syl: There was a surprise twist? When?
Cain: Atlas and P-Body. Sorry, “Altas an Pboy”.
Syl: The robots? That was the surprise?
Ghostie: I know, it was really underwhelming.
ALSO IS STILL DANT NO GAYLES NAME BUT SINS ITS AU BECOS PRIM WAS PIKKED AN MARRISSA ILL JUST MAKE UP ONE ITS A REEL GOOD ONE REED TO FIND OUTS
Not a Verb Counter: 339
Cain: His last name is Hawthorne. It took me three seconds to look that up on google. I’m assuming you mean Gale here, by the way.
Ghostie: :headdesk: That’s not how an AU works, author.
THE MARRISSA GAMES
CHAPTAR 2: DRUNGS ONNA TRAIN
Syl: Drunks on a Train! I love that show.
Cain: Sorry, it’s supposed to be Drugs on a train.
Goddess: I suppose that’s good, too. Makes a decent profit.
Syl: And it would really make those long trips fly by.
“Hey b**** long tim no see!1” It was…… ATLAS AN P-BODY!!!1212211`12!!!!1! I o-mouthed at this unpossible relvatwist.
Not a Verb Counter: 343
Cain: Relvatwist. Relvatwist? RELVATWIST?!
Ghostie: Now you’re just making words up. Not that that’s a new thing with you.
“We preneted to be are kids so u woodant kill us u dum b****.” P-Body beerd wile druggin some beer.
Syl: The drunk, drug-addicted metal people pretended to be children? I’m not even from this dimension and I have a hard time believing that.
Goddess: That could be a box office hit. Just hire some low quality actors and give them a crappy script. Critics will see it’s shit but no one else will.
Ghostie: We have that already, it’s called The Room.
“Ya but we cool now becos we got drugs an beer from are noo frend as long as u stay of are turf!” ATYLAS goated an point at a guy foolin up the striper.
Not a Verb Counter: 344
Goddess: Didn’t the drugs and beer make you despise Marissa and try to kill her on a regular basis before?
Syl: I wouldn’t need the drugs or beer for that.
Ghostie: They had drugs and beer from the first fic, so why would they need someone to give them more?
“OMG Marrissa! THATS HAYMATH!!2233”
Syl: Is Haymath the stripper or the guy fooling the stripper?
Cain: Well she’d have to be a fool to let anyone in this fic near her.
Peeta Peeta Sandwich Eata yelled with loudly.
Automated Alert: WARNING! DEPARTMENT OF REDUNDANCY DEPARTMENT VESSELS INBOUND!
Ghostie: How did they find us?
Goddess: I don’t know, but if we decloak to fight back, we’ll get annihilated by the Terribad Particles!
Ghostie: I bet you wish you had some ninjas to throw at the problem now.
Cain: Wait a moment. Of course! They should blow up in 3… 2… 1…
*The DRD Ships blow up*
Cain: They died by entering the Terribad Field.
Syl: :claps hands: Pretty!
Goddess: Hey, is the Terribad Field growing larger? Yeah, it’s growing larger.
Cain: Shit. The redundancy must be making the Terribad Particles double themselves.
Ghostie: This sounds bad.
Cain: I’m just going to call GONS on this win. *Opens narrow beam comms* GONS, this is Vice Admiral Cain Dwight. The Terribad Field is growing. The DRD attacked us and got destroyed by the Terribad Field, but the concentrated redundancy is causing the particles to duplicate themselves. *Shuts off the comms* There we go. GONS will deal with it.
Syl: That sounded really important, but I didn’t understand any of it.
This was soooo bad how ud we trane if are metor was a DRUGGY JERK!?!
Ghostie: You’re not training now.
Cain: Why would Godmode Marissa-Sue need to train?
I was fed up with drugs an beer roonin my thangs so I goed up to the striper whos name was Looise Boombooms the 2
Ghostie: How does she know the stripper’s name?
Cain: Obviously via her detective power. Also, Louise Boombooms was a character in TF2. She died.
Ghostie: And of course everyone has read that.
an drop kikked her boombooms of so they epxloded gettin gross all over Haymish an teh JERKS.
Not a Verb Counter: 349
Ghostie: That… What… How do?
Cain: You don’t.
Altas an P-Body did sum growls noises atme
Goddess: They… growled?
Syl: The robots?
but Peeta Peeta Sandich Eata showed his strenth mussels by pikin up a table an trhowin it at them so the got scarred an rannd way with there drugs to other trane plase.
Goddess: If I remember correctly, there were many “train plases” in the movie.
Ghostie: I don’t remember there being many throwable tables on the train, though. Or strong shellfish.
Eh smiled with all the lovely lick he was showin of for suone but I didant no hoo.
Not a Verb Counter: 354
Cain: Fifty credits on Primrose.
Syl: I’ll put twenty on Gayle.
“Listan druggy we need to be trane or well di@@@$!” Cuted Prim lick a reel bad a**. Bebore Haymatc cold answer a Paris Hilton or Jersay Shore gurl came. “Hi im Effee its time for dinnar.” She saped.
Not a Verb Counter: 358
Syl: Why is everyone licking things all the time?
Goddess: Maybe everything is Ice Cream. Or pie.
Cain: And no scene breaks. Wonderful.
I was sit next to Prim an Peeta Peeta Sandich Eata. Also sittin was Effer, Bisiness Man, ATALS an P=Body, Portal, Seena an Haymash.
Ghostie: Why are there so many people on this train? Has the character blob gotten that big?
Goddess: I think they may have stolen some Redshirts, too.
He taked ot a nettle that was fill with beer an injetted it inot his arm lick heron so he got super hi.
Ghostie: No, he got super-dead. That’s not how beer works, dumbass.
I eated sum duck an joose an soop an a bread love an sum mashed taters an Peeta Peeta Sandwich Eata reeched offer to grab a salt peace bu his han toched Prims an the bloodshed all on the face.
Not a Verb Counter: 364
Cain: How does him hitting her hand equate to blood on her face. Is she bleeding from “her everywhere”?
Syl: That seems to be the case with everyone.
If I didant doo sumthin soon, we wood die in there fo shore!
Not a Verb Counter: 365
Goddess: Please do die.
Syl: Why are they in the woods now? I thought they were on a train?
MEANWILE IN WHEATLYS POV
Lick 2 bloody weeks affer Marrissa was reeped I had soddin felled to a depreshun.
Not a Verb Counter: 367
Syl: Pity he didn’t stay in his hole.
Chell Junor mised her mum (AN THATS ANO BRIT WORD FOR MOM. NOT LICK THE DEAD ZOMBOYS WIF STUFF ON THEM)
Not a Verb Counter: 369
Syl: Oh, not more zombies!
Cain: I assume you mean Mummies? Mum/=/Mummies
Ghostie: Pretty sure it’s not mummies. Like ninety-five percent sure.
an I soo dib I. “OH DEAR GOD SAVE THE QUEEN MARRISSA I WANKIN MISS U SO BUGGERIN MUCH@!@#!!” I britished to the moon lick a wulf.
Not a Verb Counter: 373
Ghostie: :headdesk: What the ever-loving hell?
Syl: Is Marissa a queen now?
Ghostie: In her own mind maybe.
Goddess: God save whatever country she’s the queen of.
Syl: She’s in for a surprise if she tries to lick a wolf.
Not a Verb Counter: 371
Sum guy herd me it wass that sod Gale bloke. He was o-mouthin at me an Chell Junor so he musta been sum sort of bloody petofile1@!!!3
Not a Verb Counter: 375
Cain: What’s a Petofile? Do I even want to know?
Ghostie: I’m going to assume it has something to do with dog grooming.
“STAY AWAY FORM MY DOTTER U GIT WANKER!2!!@” I yoused my new legs
Not a Verb Counter: 377
Goddess: Which disappeared last time he was here. Does he summon them from the SDQF whenever he needs to harm something?
Syl: Oh, kind of like this :reaches into SDQF, pulls out a glass, and throws it at Wheatley:
(wich are bloody awsum) to kick hims man balls
Not a Verb Counter: 378
Ghostie: As opposed to his woman-balls.
Syl: Shhh! We’re not supposed to talk about those!
but…… he made a sheeld lick Marrissa!!! “OMG Howd u do that are u related to Marrisser?”
Not a Verb Counter: 379
“No Wheatly you bugger I am Gale Thunderpants (lol see I tol u this was good 1)
Cain: No. No it’s not.
Ghostie: Maybe if he was a stripper like the late Louise Boombooms.
Syl: I would be okay with that.
we most soddin talk.” He britished. This guy was wankin famliar lick I nown him a lung time ago. “Dont you rember me?”
Not a Verb Counter: 383
Goddess: No I don’t “Rember” you. What the fuck is a rember?
Ghostie: And again with the “britishing” crap!
“Id bloody well rember sum1 tryin a molestrape my baaby dotter u creap!” Gale lolled at me akuse an I gotted mad.
Not a Verb Counter: 388
Syl: He tied moles to a baby?
Ghostie: … Maybe?
“I yoused to be sum1 else an so did u Wheatly. My reel name is…………. RON WEEESLEY!!!!323131”
Not a Verb Counter: 389
Cain: *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk*
Ghostie: … Don’t tell me that the Harry Potter canon is getting dragged into this.
TO BE CONTINUED!
WOAH SUM SHOKIN PLOTS GOIN DOWN! WHAT ILL HAPPEN NEXT? CAN MARRISSA STOP HAYMATCH FORM DRUGBEERIN OR WILL WHEATLY DISVOCER HIS TROO PAST AN POWAS? FIND OUT NEXT TIME!!!
Not a Verb Counter: 391
Cain: The two are not mutually exclusive. Although it would be better if none of those things happened.
Ghostie: It pains me greatly, but I kind of like combining drugs and beer into one. “Drugbeering” is a lot easier to say.
Goddess: If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go do some drugbeering right now.
Cain: Why am I not surprised you got drugs past our scanners?
Syl: I’m going to go take a peek in your treasure vaults.
Goddess: That’s what she said.
Syl: Nice! :high-fives Goddess:
Cain: *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk*
Goddess: I swear, you’ll give yourself a concussion. And then who will I be able to torment? Syl’s already claimed Ghostie. Also, that’s what she said.
Ghostie: : facepalm: I miss sensei.
Syl: Me, too. That little bastard is good at dodging.
Cain: Ghostie, I’ve got a replacement adult beverages cabinet. It’s primarily filled with gargleblasters. It even has holographic projections of Ishi-Sensei, and a trapped pantheon of Olympic Gods to ward out Syl and Goddess. Follow me.
Ghostie: Sounds wonderful. Good-bye, Patrons! :Ghostie and Cain vanish:
Syl: I can’t believe they just left us here. That’s so rude. We should TP their houses.
Goddess: Cain’s cabin is hidden, and only he can access the pocket dimension it’s stored in.
Syl: It’s a good thing I’m a transdimensional traveler, isn’t it?
*A note appears on the wall* “Yeah, if you value your nervous systems, you don’t want to do that. Future Goddess and Syl can tell you that.-Cain”
Syl: Well, shit. Let’s go pick up cute aliens at the bar, then.
Goddess: Fine by me. Cain fully expects lack of faithfulness, anyway.
Syl; You can just watch, if it’s a problem.
Goddess: No, he just pretends I don’t exist most of the time.