1231: The Marrissa Games – Chapter Two

Title: The Marissa Games
Author:  Marissa the Writer
Media: Books/Movies/Video Games
Topic: The Hunger Games / Portal
Genre: Not Listed
URL:  Chapter Two
Critiqued by agigabyte and Ghostcat (with special guests Goddess, Cain, and Syl)

Cain: Welcome, Patrons and Librarians, to another chapter of *Motions at the incomprehensible pile of shit that is this fic* this. Goddess, why did you just open the transcript file? *Checks* Really, did you just change the action I did to be that subjective?

Goddess: Maybe.

Cain: *Sigh* In other news, agig gave up. He just couldn’t do it.

Syl: Wait for me! :enters dragging Ghostie by the heels:

Goddess: Do you think you could shift a bit to the right? I’ve almost got a perfect angle. *Holds up a camera*

Cain: *Headdesks*

Ghostie: I told her I would walk. I think she likes being dramatic.

Goddess: Or maybe she just likes you.

Ghostie: There’s a scary thought.

Syl: Don’t worry, you’re not my type.

Chapter 3: DRUGS ON A TRAIN

Chapter Text

I noiced that on THE TOMBLER I didant gotten any reivews, bu I ALSO didant get any FLAMERZZ so it a win-win!

Not a Verb Counter: 314

Cain: Maybe it’s because everyone was dumbstruck by your fic.

Syl: The Tombley? Tombler? What’s that?

Cain: Tumbler. A shitty place you never want to visit. Almost as bad as 4chan. Maybe that’s why Goddess loves it. I think she feeds off of hate.

Syl: Ah. Like Brooklyn.

THE MARRISSA CAMES

CHAPTRE TOO: DRUGS ON A TRAIN (LOL THATS MY BEST ON YET)

Cain: Not that it’s saying much.

Ghostie: Or anything coherent.

“BLOODY NOOOOOOO!!!12@!!31211!54 U CANT TAKE MARRISSAR SODDIN TAKE ME INSTOD U GIT!” Wheatly screemed with loud an shok. Pesent Snow got madangry at him for the cryout and sade.

Not a Verb Counter: 317

Goddess: Sorry, Syl, he’s not a pie anymore.

Syl: Damn it all. I’m never getting pie.

“No Wheatly robo balls cant Hunger Games!” He louded. I patted Wheats on the ball back an smiled.

Not a Verb Counter: 318

Cain: How does Snow know Wheatly’s name? I’m focusing on this because it’s the part that makes the most sense.

Ghostie: Or where his back is? He’s a sphere. Or he was until they shoved him into a robot body.

Syl: Why do they keep talking about his balls then?

“Its kay

Goddess: What is this, AOL?

Wheatly I haf to do it becos u need to keep Chell Junor safe an be a good father.”

Cain: Wait, are you a transgender now? Please tell us these things.

Wheatly cried little more, then he snifed an nodded with head

Goddess: What the hell is a snife? Also, how does one nod when his entire damn body is a head?

Ghostie: A snife is like a snipe, only tiny.

Syl: You made that up.

Ghostie: Prove it, bitch.

“OK Marrissa. Jus be wankin carfull out there!”

Goddess: Wanking carfull? Sounds kinky.

Syl: And painful.

Cain: Goddess, no. Hell no.

Syl: We don’t get to have any fun. :pouts:

Cain: Thankfully, I have my PMC on the lookout for you two. And they’re all former thieves.

Ghostie: This is why you’re my favorite, Cain.

Cain: Note to self: Instate ninja access to the fleet.

Goddess: Aww. You’re no fun.

Ghostie: Unfortunately, Shinobi-san gets airsick.

Cain: Airsickness doesn’t automatically mean space sickness.

Ghostie: Do you really want to risk having a queasy ninja in your ship?

Cain: No. But I’m, sure you can send others. The mere thought of having to go near Ishi-Sensei should deter Syl.

Syl: I’m not going anywhere near that parasite-fondler.

Ghostie: Sorry, Cain; sensei’s my new best friend.

I huged him an we started kissin an gettin hot an heavy right there an all the pepole in the crowed was bushin an o-mouthin but we didant care becos this cold be are last time to see eachotter.

Not a Verb Counter: 323

Syl: Now I feel queasy.

Cain: It’s not the worst one, either. You really shouldn’t read ITS MY LIFE more than once. The things I do for you guys.

Ghostie: No one should read it. EVER.

“OMG U GUYS GET A ROOM!!1” Say Peeta Peeta Sandwish Eata.

Ghostie: They call him that every single time?

Cain: Yes. *Shudders* I looked through the fic.

Goddess: Yeah, he’s a masochist. It works quite well.

Cain: *Glares at Goddess*

Syl: Maybe he really likes sandwiches.

Those big wite armor gusy from befour

Syl: Didn’t the guys in white armor die after being burned to death?

Ghostie: I think these are different guys.

Cain: You can never be too sure with the Character Blob.

came an pulled me way from Wheatly who started cryin gain an Chell Junor started cryin but I said “BE BRAVE ILL BE BACK SOOON!11!!!” Then I want on a train.

Ghostie: :waves: Good-bye, secondary characters I can’t be bothered to care about!

Cain: You’re implying you care about any of these characters.

Ghostie: Now you’re just being silly.

The guys throo me on a magic siense train that cold fly in the rales an was relay big. “Go an get an me ur booty salonist!’

Ghostie: Magic. Science. Train. With a booty salonist.

Syl: I’m not familiar with that specialty.

Ghostie: No one is.

Onna the armor dudes said than went SLAM! said the door an I was loked in.

Syl: The doors talk?

Cain: I wouldn’t be surprised if the feces do, too. *Pulls a gargleblaster out of SDQF and drinks it*

Ghostie: I need Brain Bleach after that.

Cain: Don’t worry, our gargleblasters are a custom mix diluted with brain bleach.

Ghostie: Ooh, nice.

What did he meen bout a byouty salomist anyway? I was alreddy more hot an pretty than the hole Distract 12 plase, specially that dum an ugly Katnise girl.

Not a Verb Counter: 324

Ghostie: Because Sues are always more hot and pretty than everyone, even everyone in a District she just learned about ten seconds ago.

Cain: Wait. That ass salonist was intentional?

Goddess: Oh, me damnit.

Syl: How would that even work? Is there sculpting involved?

Befour I cold think more on it sum randum guys covered in naked showed up.

Cain: Welp, that’s it, I’m done life-ing. *Shoots self with pistol*

Goddess: Not so fast. *Uses stolen stone of resurrection to revive Cain.

Cain: Damnit.

Goddess: This fleet still needs an Admiral to do all the unimportant stuff while I get shit done. And agig doesn’t count as an admiral. He’s worse than Gul.

Cain: You Marines, always thinking you’re so important. Without us, you’d never even get to the place you’re going. You’d just mining away on some asteroid because you got conquered by the Rogue Engi.

Syl: Girls, girls, you’re both pretty! Can we get back on track now?

Ghostie: Awww, I was hoping someone would get vaporized. Maybe Goddess.

Goddess: Are you kidding? He couldn’t hit me if I let him. He’s navy, remember.

Cain: Bitch. You know how much of the fleet I’ve got betting on me?

Ghostie: Don’t know, don’t care.

Syl: I’ve already got a bet on Goddess.

Cain: My entire PMC is betting on me. I win this round.

Syl:I think everyone’s covered in naked all the time. That’s what skin is for. It’s clothes that are optional.

Ghostie: Thanks for making it weird.

Cain: It already was weird.

Ghostie: Well, weirder.

“Hi weer yur prep teem. Its are job to make u look sooper FABULOSSS!!!4444” Gayed one.

Cain: Wait, does gay mean nudist now?

Syl: I thought it meant happy.

Ghostie: And I thought she was already ultra-fabulous and gorgeous?

I was upulled into a wierd room with spas an baths an hair jel an a saloon an a rotisarry

Not a Verb Counter: 325

Syl: Are they going to cook her on a rotisserie now? Please say yes.

an there was a guy standin there with sum tats an die hair. It was……….. BISINESS MAN!!!@23

Not a Verb Counter: 326

Cain: Wait, did Marissa ever meet Business man? I don’t think she did?

Syl: Who?

Ghostie: I don’t know, I blocked a lot of it out.

Cain: Principal business man. He was a character in Teen Fortress 2.

“GRATE SCOOT!

Syl: I had a dog that used to do that, couldn’t get it to stop dragging its ass all over the place.

1 Bissis Man thot u betraitored me for the falmer trolls?” I 0-mouthed at the shock from this. I thot he had turned the flames for good!

Not a Verb Counter: 328

Goddess: Wait, she zero mouthed? Yay! She’ll die of starvation!

Ghostie: She’s a Silence! Now we’ll forget she ever existed!

Syl: Not everyone watches that doctor show, you know.

“No Marrissa me an Skep had a divortion becos I coldant stand her flamin an trollin any more.”

Not a Verb Counter: 329

Syl: Cold flames? You have those here?

Cain: No, but there was a really awesome universe that did.

Goddess: Pantheon Production shot a few scenes for MonoCat: The Movie there.

Ghostie: That’s ominous.

Goddess: *Smirks* *Smirks again just for Cerbersheep*

Ghostie: He’s going to find his way up here one day, you know.

Goddess: And then he’ll find his way right back down.

He pot his hands round me sholders an taked me to the spa chare. “Now Im gonna make u even more hot an pretty, I dont no if I can but ill trie!” So they gotted to work.

Not a Verb Counter: 333

Ghostie: :headdesk: I really hope this isn’t going to be costume porn.

Few ours later I wakked out evven more hot an pretty.

Not a Verb Counter: 334

Syl: I’m kind of shocked they were able to do anything with her blank, featureless face.

Ghostie: It’s amazing what they can do with Photoshop.

I saw Prim an Peeta Peeta Sandiwch Eata was also made more good luckin by there prep teems Seena an Porshe. “Hey Marrissa wanna com with us to meet are mentor Haymatch? Hes gonna train us for the Huguer Gamess.” Worded Prim.

Not a Verb Counter: 337

Syl: If they really had good luck, they wouldn’t be in this fic.

Cain: She… she… she just WORDED?!

Ghostie: … I can’t even.

We goed to the trainur room but it was a big spurise. The room was all smoky with drugs an the floor stakay with BEER.

Ghostie: Oh, crapnuggets.

Cain: NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE!

A striper was stripin on the tablet gettin her thangs on all teh food!

Ghostie: She’s going to break her iPad like that.

Cain: I hope so. It’s an Apple product.

Syl: I don’t think it’s very sanitary for her to be getting her “thangs” into the food, even if it’s just apples.

Then I saw sum robot peaces that was one a orange ball an the other a blue line thing lyin all broken on da floor lick they was only costooms or sumthin.

Ghostie: How did they get here? They were in the labs, hundreds of feet below ground! IN THE MIDDLE OF A WHEATFIELD!

Syl: That vortex-thing that gives us stuff brought them here?

Goddess: The Suefluence is strong enough to bring the Awesome McEvils all the way to this place.

Ghostie: Where they are in hell, with us.

“Hey b***** long tim no see!~!#@” It was…….

Cain: FUCKTHISFUCKTHISFUCKTHISFUCKTHIS.

Syl: Tell us how you really feel, sunshine.

Cain: FUCK THIS.

Ghostie: I think that really says it all. Very concise.

TO BE CONTINUED!

OMG WHY ARE ATBOD AN PLAS LICK COSTOOMS?? OR IS IT A TRICK!?!? FIND OUT NEX TIMEEE!

Ghostie: Do I have to?

Goddess: What is a PLAS LICK?

Syl: Sounds spicy or possibly illegal. Maybe both.

Cain: I hope it’s a trick. It had damn well better be a trick!

Ghostie: The trick was roping us into riffing this turdblossom.

Cain: Goddamnit. Shut up, Goddess. I can still actually pull rank, you know.

Syl: Pull this. :makes rude gesture:

Ghostie: SYL!

Goddess: I can one up that. *Make 392 rude gestures in 3 minutes*

Syl: Wait, what was that fortieth one? Show me that one again.

Ghostie: I think we should leave them alone, this could take a while. Where’s the nearest bar?

Cain: Yeah. Also, *Grabs sign saying “Keep out, private discussion occurring”* That should be ambiguous enough. *Walks out and hangs sign on the wall*

Ghostie: Wait! :follows: Show me where the bar is!

Cain: Right this way.

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42 Comments on “1231: The Marrissa Games – Chapter Two”

  1. Tie Dye Mage says:

    Chapter 3: DRUGS ON A TRAIN

    I’ve had it with these motherfucking drugs on this motherfucking train!

  2. AdmiralSakai says:

    Pesent Snow got madangry at him for the cryout and sade.

    Not a Verb Counter: 317

    I dunno about you, but I like “madangry”.

  3. Tie Dye Mage says:

    “OMG U GUYS GET A ROOM!!1” Say Peeta Peeta Sandwish Eata.

    Ghostie: They call him that every single time?

    Cain: Yes. *Shudders* I looked through the fic.

    Goddess: Yeah, he’s a masochist. It works quite well.

    Cain: *Glares at Goddess*

    Syl: Maybe he really likes sandwiches.

    Or the author just discovered the joys of Copy and Paste.

  4. AdmiralSakai says:

    Chapter 3: DRUGS ON A TRAIN

    Otherwise known as the generative process of The Marrissa Games.

  5. Tie Dye Mage says:

    Ghostie: How did they get here? They were in the labs, hundreds of feet below ground! IN THE MIDDLE OF A WHEATFIELD!

    Syl: That vortex-thing that gives us stuff brought them here?

    Nah, it was probably that creepy kid with psychic powers.

  6. Tie Dye Mage says:

    “Hi weer yur prep teem. Its are job to make u look sooper FABULOSSS!!!4444” Gayed one.

    Now I can’t stop thinking about this.

  7. AdmiralSakai says:

    but we didant care becos this cold be are last time to see eachotter.

  8. Goddess: This fleet still needs an Admiral to do all the unimportant stuff while I get shit done. And agig doesn’t count as an admiral. He’s worse than Gul.

    I resent that.

  9. AdmiralSakai says:

    “GRATE SCOOT!

    Syl: I had a dog that used to do that, couldn’t get it to stop dragging its ass all over the place.

    ow?

  10. AdmiralSakai says:

    Syl: If they really had good luck, they wouldn’t be in this fic.

    Cain: She… she… she just WORDED?!

    Ghostie: … I can’t even.

  11. AdmiralSakai says:

    A striper was stripin on the tablet gettin her thangs on all teh food!


    No, no, no, I really do not want Christian “Rock” in my food!

  12. Eryn says:

    I feel like this is bordering on parody… *glances suspiciously at screen to re-count the number of times the author mistook verb tenses*


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