1223: Tomorrow Is Always Better – Chapter 4

 

 

Title: Tomorrow Is Always Better
Author: LaRae and Ninjas Incorporated
Media: Anime/Manga
Topic: Ouran High School Host Club
Genre:  Romance/Hurt/Comfort
URL: Chapter 4
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

Welcome back, best-beloved Patrons!

We’re slogging our way through another chapter of this nothing-narrative; in the last chapter the most exciting thing that happened was that Random Friend Lena was lost and Kyo-Sue found her and took her home. That was it, the whole chapter.

Here’s hoping this chapter is a little more substantial.

XOXOXOXOXOXOX Disclaimer…. Well I’m depressed… Mori nor Kyoya would give me OHSHC so I don’t own it XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

I’m wondering if the author realizes that Bisco Hatori and not the characters owns OHSHC.

Kyoya: didn’t I tell you that all ready Kyoko?

Me: Maybe, I don’t know.

You did. It was very annoying.

Kyoya: I did so stop asking

Me: fine I will

Does that mean these chatty little ANs will stop? Because I’m all for that.

Chapter 4: Safe house

Either there’s a new character named Chapter 4, or this is the chapter title. Could go either way.

three days later…..

Three days after the conversation between Kyouya-senpai and the author’s self-insertion, or three days after Kyo-Sue took Random Friend Lena home and did lots of stuff she didn’t have adequate time to do?

I lay in my bed it 5:45 AM ,

This author really enjoys white-rabbiting and giving random time-stamps via the narration.

I have two hour before I’m needed at school, so what to do,

Based on my prior experience as a sixteen-year-old girl, I’m going to say “sleep”. You should sleep.

I could write a song,

Please, no.

or better yet I could call Lena and Kisa and all us could write a song together.

You wake them up at an ungodly hour to write shitty music together? How is that better than sleeping?

I call them both on a three way calling.

Rather than texting or emailing them, thus giving you an opportunity to wake up everyone in both households. Very considerate of you.

“Good morning, Kyo-Chan!” Lena yelled loudly, good thing Huni doesn’t live there.

Wait a second… I thought Huni-senpai lived there. When they took Random Friend Lena home, Huni-senpai opened the door. Guests don’t usually open doors.

“Morning Kyoko-Chan and Lena0chan.” I hear Kisa muffle.

:headdesk:

This is not how you word, author.

“Ladies we are going to write a song meet me at the park and be ready for school.” I say.

“Yes Ma’am!” the both say.

They aren’t going to question this at all? They have to be at school – not leave for school, but be at school – in two hours. They have to get ready, which could include bathing, dressing, eating breakfast, or any number of activities, meet her in the park, write an entire song, and still make it to the school in that time.

This is such a poorly conceived idea.

“Lena do not bring any sweet with you, got it.” I say someone gave her pancakes this morning I don’t know who or why but they did.

First off – back it up, bitch. Last I checked, you weren’t the girl’s mother. If she’s having pancakes for breakfast, then someone must want her to have pancakes. She is a frickin’ cancer patient undergoing treatment, in case you forgot. (And I really do think you have.)

Secondly – how in the flying fuck can Kyo-Sue tell that Random Friend Lena is eating pancakes? They are on the frickin’ PHONE. I could excuse eating, that produces recognizable sounds, but specific knowledge of pancakes? How did she know exactly what the girl was having?

“Okay….” she says quietly.

Honey, you need to have the doctors put in a spine while they’re taking out your cancer.

We all meet at the park 25 minutes later I have all the supplies needed.

Making it 6:10 exactly; I know this because of the frequent time updates. They only have an hour and thirty-five minutes before they have to be at school.

” okay so where do we start?” Lena ask seriously.

Another space for the Space Box! Or the swirling vortex that used to be the Space Box. Apparently trying to stuff too much nothing into something does odd things to physics.

“What do we want it to be a about?” Kisa asked.

I’ll admit, that is a good question. Kyo-Sue dragged them all out of their houses early in the morning, so hopefully she already has an idea for this song she wants them to write. Brainstorming is fun, but if you’re getting together specifically to do something then you should probably have some sort of vague idea of what you want to do.

“A safe house, maybe the love of are life we don’t know about yet something along the lines of that.” Me and Lena use to write songs so did me and Kisa.

… Wha?

This seems like two different things; the grammatically incorrect information that Kyo-Sue used to write songs with both Kisa-chan and Random Friend Lena is just tacked on to the incoherent ramble about what their song topic should be without pertaining to it at all.

And a bunch of teenage girls writing bad songs about meeting some vague figure that will be the love of their life – that’s not horribly clichéd in the slightest.

“But first, we are going to be a band of friends who stick together.” I say brightly.

Are you going to prick your fingers and swear a blood-oath to be bestest friends forever? Because you seem a little old for that. And how does this pertain to writing a song together?

“What about calling are self Safehouse?” Lena says.

“That good will be The Safehouse.” I say.

… Are you still talking about the song, or is this going to be the name of your singing group? Also, why do you now having a singing group? Didn’t you just come out to write a single song? This is just all kinds of backwards.

‘I walk in the darkness, and no on heard me, I cried a thousand tears and no on tried to wipe them away. But I found you, found you in the darkness and ran to me, to me, when you got to me you told me I was your Safehouse and only me’ I sang the first part the Lena thought of something.

The hell? They just got together, they were still deciding on a group name a second ago because apparently you can’t write songs unless you’re in a group, and now she’s got the first verse already written? This isn’t how music works! The way I understand it, the actual music part usually comes before the lyrics are written, not the other way around.

‘So I quite running from my fears, and started to hide my tears, and life got better when I thought it would only get worse, but you ran to me, and swept me off my feet and told me I was your safehouse, I was your safehouse’ Lena sang beautifully then Kisa started singing something.

:headdesk:

And now she’s doing it, too. The song just springs fully formed from their shared brain!

‘So I waited for you to come, waited so long, and when you came back I realize I had changed, I realize I wasn’t Safehouse, but you were the one I was running to, because you held your out arm wide open and I ran right into them, so no more waiting, and no darkness, because I realized I love you’ Kisa sang and the I wrote it all down.

Sweet mercy, this song just keeps going and going. And Kyo-Sue just writes it all down perfectly without having to correct anything, because she somehow memorized the other girls’ parts despite having never heard them before.

“that was beautiful to bad no one will ever hear it.” said some guy hidden in a cloak.

:jumps:

Who the hell is that?

“It appears to be someone in a cloak.”

AHHHHHH!

:Ghostie falls off chair:

Sensei, I really wish you wouldn’t do that.

“Apologies, but one could not resist.”

“Um Lena did Takashi and Huni-senpie really let you come by your self?” kisa asked.

Obviously not if there’s a guy in a cloak standing there. And she isn’t by herself if the two other girls are with her.

“Of course not.” She says and I rather large bodyguard stood in front of us.

:jumps again:

WHERE DID HE COME FROM?

“Perhaps they are from another clan.”

AHHHHH!

:Ghostie falls off chair again:

STOP THAT!

Where did this bodyguard come from? The way Kisa-chan phrases her response makes it seem like it is natural for a bodyguard to shadow her, but on a previous occasion when a bodyguard would come in handy – when the two mugger/assassins attacked her – there was no one around but Kyo-Sue.

“Girls get to school.” He ordered and Kyoya limo pulled up.

:jumps yet again:

THE FUCK DID HE COME FROM?!?

“One would assume from the road.”

AHHHHH!

:Ghostie falls off chair yet again:

“It is quite remarkable that you are able to fall from a chair repeatedly despite having never retaken your seat, Ghostcat-sama.”

It’s a gift.

“Kyoko weren’t you supposed to be waiting at Kisa apartment building?” Kyoya said s he pinched the bridge of his nose.

… No? They arranged to meet in the park, and that’s where they are.

“Perhaps the girls did not make their families aware of their scheduled meeting.”

That would fit in with Kyo-Sue’s general disregard for authority, but why would Kyouya-senpai be here if he didn’t know about their meeting in the park?

“This work is quite illogical.”

Tell me about it.

“That’s what I was supposed to be doing, oh well.” I say as we all climb into Kyoya’s limo.

Now, it wasn’t! There was no mention of that at all! EVER!

“it’s to late now.” he said as we drove off.

Well, yeah – you’re in a limo now.

“Lena I have a question, who in there right mine gave you pancaked this morning.?” I ask as she smile like the idiot she is.

Why do you care? Like I mentioned before, you aren’t her mother. You aren’t responsible for her diet.

“Kyo-Sue is jealous of her friend’s superior breakfast?”

:shrugs: It’s as good a reason as any.

” the maid.” She say innocently.

“Lena your not supposed to et pancakes in the morning, morning sugar highs are not good for you.” I scowled her.

:facepalm: Sweet mercy, you are such a bitch.

“Are you certain the two are friends? Kyo-Sue is treating Lena-chan like she is a halfwit.”

They’re supposed to be best friends but so far I haven’t seen much evidence of that.

“But I wuv pancakes.” I say sadly, as we get out of the limo.

Wait a second – I? This is supposed to be from Kyo-Sue’s perspective, so why is she responding to the question she asked Kisa-chan?

Kyoya makes me and Kisa stay with him almost all day, he says we get in trouble when left alone.

“Are the girls not at school? One would assume they have schedules of their own to follow that would not match Kyouya-kun’s perfectly.”

He’s rich and she’s the Sue; between them that can do whatever the hell they want, apparently.

We have to free periods at the end of the day so we go find Lena and go to a empty music room to practice.

:headdesk:

Sweet mercy, not more singing.

:Ishi holds out a pair of sound-canceling headphones:

I don’t even care where you got those. Gimme!

‘I walk in the darkness, and no on heard me, I cried a thousand tears and no on tried to wipe them away. But I found you, found you in the darkness and ran to me, to me, when you got to me you told me I was your Safehouse and only me’ So I quite running from my fears, and started to hide my tears, and life got better when I thought it would only get worse, but you ran to me, and swept me off my feet and told me I was your safehouse, I was your safehouse’ So I waited for you to come, waited so long, and when you came back I realize I had changed, I realize I wasn’t Safehouse, but you were the one I was running to, because you held your out arm wide open and I ran right into them, so no more waiting, and no darkness, because I realized I love you’

THIS IS GREAT! I CAN’T HEAR A THING!

“One envies you, Ghostcat-sama.”

WHAT?

“It was not Dragon-kun who ate your Nutella, but myself.”

WHAT?

“Nothing. One will let you know when it is safe to remove the headphones.”

TELL ME WHEN THE SONG IS OVER, OKAY?

:Ishi gives Ghostie a thumbs-up:

We sang then we realize we had an audience, it was are Host Club, all boys.

“They’re not all boys; Haru-chan is a girl. Kyo-Sue spotted that at the airport.”

WHAT?

“Very good girls.” Kyoya says.

“You have questionable taste in both music and females.”

WHAT?

“It is safe to remove the headphones, Ghostcat-sama.”

I CAN’T HEAR YOU! I’M GOING TO TAKE OFF THE HEADPHONES!

:removes headphones:

Ah, that’s better. What did I miss?

“Nothing of great importance.”

“Rena, Guess wut,

Wait, who’s Rena? Did a character appear while I had my headphones on?

“No, Ghostcat-sama.”

Tama-chan said y’all should be apart of the Host Club as like gossipers and like female host.” Huni said loudly.

…What?

:eye-twitch:

“Oh, no.”

:Ishi preps fire extinguisher:

They … They’re WHAT?

It’s a frickin’ HOST Club, a club with male hosts! Not hostesses, but hosts! THIS ISN’T HOW IT WORKS!

:FWOOSH!:

“Ghostcat-sama, are you aware that you are on fire?”

 

—THE LIBRARY IS EXPERIENCING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES—

—PLEASE STAND BY—

Blech! Why does this flame retardant foam taste like marshmallow fluff?

:Ishi checks extinguisher:

“Apologies, one picked up the wrong canister.”

Why do we have a fire extinguisher filled with marshmallow fluff?

“An innovation of DaburuMegane-chan’s; so that one may fight fires and have s’mores simultaneously.”

… Is it weird that I think that’s brilliant?

“Possibly. If one might ask, why would Kyo-Sue’s inclusion into the club warrant such an explosion of temper?”

Because the entire premise of the series is that Haru-chan cannot reveal her gender because then she couldn’t work off her debt with the club! If she could do it as a girl, like Kyo-Sue and Co, then why go to such elaborate lengths to hide her gender? It negates the entire premise! The girls who come to the host club are paying clients, they pay money to spend time with cute boys who will pamper them and pay attention to them and flirt with them. If they wanted to sit around with other girls and gossip, they wouldn’t need to pay the host club to do it.

And would Huni-senpai really say “y’all”?

“One has heard Ghostcat-sama use the word repeatedly.”

Yeah, but I’m not Japanese.

“Rena and I would love to.” I answer and look at Rina and she nods her head.

That’s like three different name changes that Random Friend Lena has gone through in the past ten seconds.

“She must be entering that special time in a young girl’s life when she is finding new ways of expressing her individuality and asserting her independence.”

You’ve been reading Koori-san’s teen magazines again, haven’t you?

“…No.”

We left the music room we were in, and walked to the 3rd Music Room, and waited for are guest to get here,

They weren’t even in the music room where the club meets, but somehow all the host club members wandered into the wrong room so they could hear this magnificent song that instantly made them discard every club rule  and hire on these new girls? And Random Friend Lena isn’t even a high school student; she’s only thirteen!

when I noticed something and it caught my eye, Hikaru was flirting with Lena, it was cute cause it was just him and not both of them, the doors opened and girls walked in.

Grrr…

“Do you require another dousing, Ghostcat-sama?”

No, it’s just … She’s a thirteen year old girl and Kyo-Sue think it’s cute when a sixteen year old boy flirts with her? She lost her shit because someone gave her pancakes, but this is okay?

“It is the boy’s job, is it not?”

Yeah, but still. It’s kind of creepy.

“Welcome.” We all coursed together .

:Ishi and Ghostie wave at Character Blob:

Thanks, I guess.

Me , Lena and Kisa all sat amongst the Host so we could talk to the girls and if any of them had problem and wanted to talk bout it we would go sit and a different table and talk to the girls one on one.

Sounds more like they’re amateur therapists than hostesses.

“That is often the function of a host or hostess, Ghostcat-sama.”

But that’s not their primary purpose, which is what Kyo-Sue seems to think. Kind of sad that the girls who paid for this service don’t have friends they could discuss these problems with, but this isn’t what the host club is for. She should be flirting and flattering, just like the boys and Haru-chan do. The hosts usually offer compliments and attention, not practical problem-solving.

” Excuse me, but can I talk to you.” said a short red haired girl, who looked like the twins.

Who look like every other faceless character in this fic, so that’s not very helpful.

“This blob is shorter than the others and possesses red hair.”

Yeah … Still not helpful.

“Of course what wrong.” I ask politely as we sit at my table.

So instead of going to the client’s table, they have to come to her designated table? That’s the opposite of what the narration just claimed.

“Well, you see it’s my brothers, and they don’t well pay any attention to me, they pay more attention to these girls than there own little sister.” She said sadly.

“If they are heterosexual pubescent boys, there is a good reason for that.”

Yeah, most boys within that age group and orientation don’t have to be employed in a host club to want to spend time with pretty girls.

“I’m guessing your brother are host right?” I ask/assume.

:THWACK!:

Pick one, dammit!

It’s not that big of a leap of logic, since there’s already been a mention of the girl resembling the twins. The girl’s statement about her brothers paying more attention to the girls than to her is kind of odd, though. I would hope she wouldn’t want them to pay her the same kind of attention.

“One has seen similar circumstances within certain manga.”

:shudders: The less said about those, the better.

“Yah, there Hikaru and Kraou.” She sadly.

:winces: Sweet mercy, you really butchered Kaoru-kun’s name. All the letters are there, just not in anything like the correct order.

“One suspects the author has little familiarity with one’s proud mother tongue.”

Dude, don’t mention ‘mother tongues’ after incest plotlines have been brought up in the fic.

“Hold on one sec,”

This will not end well.

“One will prepare the box of chocolates.”

“Hikaru and Kraou, get your butts over here right over here right now!” I yell loudly and everyone looks at me.

Really subtle, Kyo-Sue. I’m sure the girl won’t be embarrassed by this at all.

“But Kyo-Sue is getting all the attention, which is her reason for existence.”

This is true.

“Yes Ma’am” and now there right there looking at me.

Were they close by the entire time? Because that would make her yelling even more unnecessary.

“Not if her goal was to attract attention.”

“Hikaru, do you know where your sister is?” I ask as the little girl hides behind my leg.

Little girls really like hiding behind Kyo-Sue’s leg, it’s like a fleshy security blanket.

“What an unpleasant mental image.”

Seriously? That’s what grosses you out?

How little of a little girl are we talking about, here? If she’s very young, then she has no business being anywhere near the high school much less the host club.

“How old is the child within the canon?”

Well, the twins’ sister Ageha isn’t born until they are in college and they’re in high school now, so … :does math: Negative three or four?

“One was not aware that these boys possessed a time machine.”

They don’t. At least, I don’t think they do. They’re all super-rich, so anything’s possible.

“Um no actually she was supposed to meet us here after her class got out.” Hikaru says nonchalantly .

Why would he arrange for his little sister to come to his club during club activities when he couldn’t possibly pay any attention to her? That’s incredibly irresponsible.

“The boy does not appear to be burdened with an overabundance of intellect, Ghostcat-sama.”

Not this version, anyway. The canon Hikaru and Kaoru are pretty clever.

” Uh hum..” say and point behind my leg, and Lena looks at me from where she is and start cracking up.

” Whats so funny Lena?” I yell.

” You always have little kids hiding behind you legs don’t you.” she laughs.

“Apologies, but was she not doing the very same thing in the previous chapter?”

Indeed she was.

:smacks Random Friend Lena with a dead mackerel:

Glass houses and stones, darling.

“anyway, you both should take care of your little sister more, if she will come crying to someone she has never meet before then you know you have a problem,

I admit they shouldn’t have brought her to the club room and then ignored her, but you might be over-reacting here.

“How so?”

Well, she doesn’t know if this is something they routinely do. This is the first time she’s been in the club, and she’s never met this girl before so she has no baseline to judge their behaviour. They might normally be very attentive, in the canon they really dote on their sister.

sweetie go play with Lena she fun to hang with.” I say and the little girl goes and runs off to Lena and they start dancing around the room.

:snorts: Says you.

“You do not fine Lena-chan to be good company?”

I don’t know enough about her to say one way or the other. Like most of the characters in the fic, she’s a big blank.

“Hikaru and Kraou,

THWACK!:

THAT IS NOT HIS NAME!

“Calm yourself, Ghostcat-sama. Here, have a chocolate.”

I not mad at you because you didn’t know where she was,

Really? Because that’s at the top of my list.

I’m mad because she is you little sister and while your playing you games, she could get hurt or easily stolen, you need to think of her a little more.

… What? So she isn’t mad because they didn’t know where the girl was, but because something could have happened to the girl while they didn’t know where she was?

“Would not the two states coincide with one another?”

Kinda, yeah.

I can yell at you because I have learned from experience, I was around 9 and my little brother got killed because I wasn’t paying attention.” You learn from experience .

:record-screech:

The hell?

“What a sad and tragic thing to happen to her at such a young age. One imagines that such a incident would shape her actions.”

She’s a SI Sue with a Tragek Past.

“Ah. So this is the first and only time it will ever be mentioned?”

Yes, and probably.

What gets me is that she can’t just be concerned for the girl – who still doesn’t have a name – but has to somehow turn everything back onto herself to make it all about her.

” now go finish up what you have to.” I say and they run back to where they came from.

Yeah, that’s not incredibly vague. You sure you don’t need them to do the thing with the stuff?

“At the place with the thing?”

Oh, we can’t forget the thing!

” You could have done that differently.” Kyoya says.

In, say, a tactful way that didn’t draw everyone’s attention to you.

“Apologies, but has Kyouya-kun been standing there the entire time?”

… Maybe?

“That is not very helpful.”

What do you want me to say? It’s the Void.

“And if I would have done that any differently would I really be me and would they have learned anything?” I ask already knowing the answer.

Maybe not the “you being you” bit because she’s been pretty bossy, but yes – that could have been handled differently.

“And by ‘differently’ you mean ‘better’?”

Of course.

“No” he says and walks off.

:HEADDESK:

:winces: “That sounded painful, Ghostcat-sama.”

Abbith! :touches face: Ah bith mah tuncth.

“Oh, no.”

XOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOXO

Comment please and thank you….

Word count…. 1,417

Yash! Dah chabber’z ober! Un nob Otther’z Nobe diz tab.

“Whatever you say, Ghostcat-sama.”

Ooh noe, ooh coob goh gib meh sumb aybsh.

“… One assumes you are requesting ice. Nod once for yes, twice for no.”

:Ghostie throws a shoe at Ishi:

“One will take that as a ‘yes’.”

Advertisements

59 Comments on “1223: Tomorrow Is Always Better – Chapter 4”

  1. SC says:

    Does that mean these chatty little ANs will stop? Because I’m all for that.

    You expect things to happen that are good for us?

    You fool.

  2. SC says:

    I lay in my bed it 5:45 AM

    Well that’s interesting, because I lay on my bed and it 5:09 AM.

  3. SC says:

    You wake them up at an ungodly hour to write shitty music together? How is that better than sleeping?

    Dude, nothing beats sleeping. If it weren’t for the fact that I’d have to be dead, I’d sleep forever if I could.

    I of course say this whilst lying awake at an ungodly hour reading a riff.

    • GhostCat says:

      It would be a different matter if it was established that the other two would already be up at that time, but this fic is very not good at establishing things.

  4. SC says:

    Why do we have a fire extinguisher filled with marshmallow fluff?

    “An innovation of DaburuMegane-chan’s; so that one may fight fires and have s’mores simultaneously.”

    … Is it weird that I think that’s brilliant?

    When the hell did you build that?

    Bifocals: Yesterday. It was Goldie’s idea~!

    Goldie: Hey, I felt like s’mores, what can I say?

    …Wait, you built it yesterday? As in, it’s not tested, yet?

    Goldie: Why do you think we gave it to Ishi?

  5. SC says:

    “It was not Dragon-kun who ate your Nutella, but myself.”

    Contacts: I bet Syl would get a kick out of having this little piece of blackmail.

  6. SC says:

    You sure you don’t need them to do the thing with the stuff?

    “At the place with the thing?”

    Oh, we can’t forget the thing!

    You forgot the important thing. But you wrote it down on a sticky note to remind you if you forgot, so there you go.

  7. SC says:

    “She must be entering that special time in a young girl’s life when she is finding new ways of expressing her individuality and asserting her independence.”

    You’ve been reading Koori-san’s teen magazines again, haven’t you?

    “…No.”

    Contacts: *COUGH* You still owe me that yen *COUGH*

  8. SC says:

    “You do not fine Lena-chan to be good company?”

    Contacts: Well that’s a right wasted opportunity. I run a fee of twenty bucks for Specs to stand near me and pretend to not be a stupid asshole.

    And he pays that obnoxious fee?

    Contacts: Yeah, because he’s a stupid asshole.

  9. SC says:

    The girl’s statement about her brothers paying more attention to the girls than to her is kind of odd, though. I would hope she wouldn’t want them to pay her the same kind of attention.

    “One has seen similar circumstances within certain manga.”

    :shudders: The less said about those, the better.

    *SC lets out a long-suffering sigh and looks off into the distance, clearly suffering great internal pain*

  10. SC says:

    “But I wuv pancakes.”

    Well, Messer Rifle, it looks like we may find some use for you before the end of the year after all.

    Mssr. Rifle: I thought we agreed that I wasn’t going to be used against anymore stupid tweens after what happened last time?

    Well, I changed my mind. This one needs it.

  11. SC says:

    “Morning Kyoko-Chan and Lena0chan.” I hear Kisa muffle.

    No no no no no, you muffle like this:

    Mmrnmng Kymkm-Chmn mnd LmnmMchmn.

  12. SC says:

    “Lena do not bring any sweet with you, got it.” I say someone gave her pancakes this morning I don’t know who or why but they did.

    I highly doubt pancakes are gonna risk inducing diabetes on top of cancer any time soon, kid. Cool your tits.

    • GhostCat says:

      I haven’t gotten through the entire fic yet, but so far Kyo-Sue most consistent trait is that she treats Random Friend Lena like she’s an idiot. And the cancer seems to have vanished all together, this chapter and the next have absolutely no mention of it.

  13. AdmiralSakai says:

    “Okay….” she says quietly.

    Honey, you need to have the doctors put in a spine while they’re taking out your cancer.

    And a brain, let’s not forget that.

  14. AdmiralSakai says:

    And a bunch of teenage girls writing bad songs about meeting some vague figure that will be the love of their life – that’s not horribly clichéd in the slightest.

    And a bunch of teenage girls writing a song about a safe house is just weird.

    The only song I can think of that even remotely resembles such is “Twilight Zone” by Golden Earring, and it doesn’t exactly end well for the safe house occupant.

  15. AdmiralSakai says:

    “ to bad no one will ever hear it.” said some guy hidden in a cloak.

    Ok, it’s official.

    My favorite character is Cloak #1.

  16. AdmiralSakai says:

    Because the entire premise of the series is that Haru-chan cannot reveal her gender because then she couldn’t work off her debt with the club! If she could do it as a girl, like Kyo-Sue and Co, then why go to such elaborate lengths to hide her gender? It negates the entire premise! The girls who come to the host club are paying clients, they pay money to spend time with cute boys who will pamper them and pay attention to them and flirt with them. If they wanted to sit around with other girls and gossip, they wouldn’t need to pay the host club to do it.

    Oh. Wait.

    That’s what the Host Club is?

    I know nothing about the source material, so this entire time I was operating under the assumption that it was something along the lines of The Sharing from Animorphs.

    • GhostCat says:

      It’s a reverse harem situation. Haruhi is a poor scholarship student, so she comes to school in regular clothes like sweatshirts and jeans and has very short hair due to an incident with some gum, and the other students assume she’s a boy. She stumbles into the host club’s room and , via shenanigans, breaks a very expensive vase and is forced to work to pay for it, eventually becoming one of the hosts. The club doesn’t find out until after she’s made a host that she’s a girl, so they maintain the fiction to preserve the club’s reputation and revenue.

      Host clubs are a Japanese thing; the club employs men (typically young, attractive, and well-groomed) and women visit essentially so the guys will pay attention to them. The guys chat and flirt and convince the women to buy over-priced drinks, that kind of thing. In OHSHC they don’t sell drinks but instead operate on a points system, Kyouya-senpai operates a website where the girls buy items to earn points they can spend towards making appointments with their favorite host. (Haru-chan actually gets pissed off at one point because Kyouya-senpai steals her mechanical pencil and auctions it off.)

  17. Goddess: I’ll pay you fifty credits if you sing some of these original lyrics, Cain.

    Cain: No.

    Goddess: Okay, um, aha! *Teleports to Ghostie* I’ll pay you fifty credits if you song some of these original lyrics. Also I won’t break your arm. *Puts Ghostie in an arm bar.

    • GhostCat says:

      :looks at ‘lyrics’:

      Go ahead, I have excellent health insurance.

      • Goddess: *Puts a control chip in Ghostie’s head* There. Now sing the damn lyrics. *Turns on camera*

        Cain: *Appears with one million Redshirts, on the moon of Ganymede and transports Goddess and Ghostie there* Goddess. Stand. Down.

      • GhostCat says:

        :spits out control chip:

        Nice try, but no one controls me except me.

      • Syl says:

        -appears out of the SDQF- That’s my bitchy little hedgehog! -grabs Ghostie in a headlock and administers noogie-

      • Cain: *Shoots at Syl with a Plasma Pistol* Redshirts! Detain Goddess! *Presses a button on his wrist datapad, causing Agent [REDACTED] and a Platoon of Elite troops to appear*

      • Syl says:

        -laying flat on her back on the moon of Ganymede, smoking slightly-

        I got to get me one of those.

      • Goddess: Don’t worry, Panth-

        Cain: And… Law Passed. Plasma weaponry is now only available to the Military. We’re also conducting a raid on Pantheon strorage houses for contraband, and inducting my Private Military Contractors directly into the military.

        Goddess: How the hell?

        agig: *Appears out of SDQF* In the Garfield Effect universe, Lasagna is a rare delicacy. We simply sold a bunch of Lasagna and got a bunch of money, then bribed the government to ignore your bribes.

        Cain: Better luck next time.

  18. Koori says:

    You’ve been reading Koori-san’s teen magazines again, haven’t you?

    “…No.”

    *poofs in* Ah, Ishi-sensei! Have you yet finished with this month’s TeenVogue? I was eagerly awaiting the reveal of this year’s most fashionable winter boot collection.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s